#198 The Affection Connection

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Have you ever wondered why your dog acts so strangely when family members hug or show affection? That jumping, barking, or wedging behavior isn't jealousy as we might think—it's actually one of three distinct reactions that make perfect sense from your dog's perspective.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
You know as a dog trainer, one common issue that I
see is a dog's reaction whenfamily members show affection to
each other.
Some dogs whine, some dogs bark, some try to wedge themselves
in the middle and some gofull-on referee mode jumping,

(00:24):
nipping or even growling.
Now, to us that can look likejealousy, but from your dog's
point of view it usually fallsinto one of three categories
Excitement, concern or resourceguarding.
Now let's walk through each one.

(00:45):
When people laugh and hug ormake playful noises, many dogs
interpret that as an invitationto join the fun, all that
movement and energy.
It feels like a game, and sothey jump, bark, spin around,
basically crashing the party.

(01:05):
Because, well, it's a party.
The fix.
Set up short practice sessionswhere you create the sounds and
movements that usually get yourdog all riled up, and start
small, maybe just a fist bump, agentle hug, soft laughter.

(01:26):
If your dog stays calm, rewardthem with praise or treats.
Gradually increase theintensity longer hugs, louder
laughter, bigger gestures,always reinforcing calm
responses.
And if your dog gets too ampedup, scale it back and try again

(01:48):
at an easier level.
Over time your dog becomesdesensitized to the activity and
the noise, learning that thesemoments are no big deal and that
calmness pays off.
And other times the reactionisn't playful, it's worry.
Hugs and wrestling don't makemuch sense to dogs.

(02:10):
To them, one person pinninganother might look like
something's wrong.
Even loud laughter or unusualbody language can break their
normal pattern of what familytime looks like.
So they step in to investigateor break it up.
The fix, again usedesensitization.

(02:33):
Start with small, low-keyactions like gently touching
shoulders and then reward calmbehavior and again gradually
build up to longer hugs, louderlaughs or more active movements,
always reinforcing your dog forstaying calm and relaxed.

(02:55):
You're teaching him hey, thisis normal, nothing to worry
about.
And then there's resourceguarding.
Sometimes it's not aboutexcitement or confusion, it's
possession.
You know a dog may growl orblock or snap if they think they
own the person on the couch oreven the bed.

(03:17):
This isn't protection, it'sguarding.
And left unchecked it can bedangerous.
The fix Resource guardingrequires careful training.
Start by teaching your dog thatanother person approaching means
something good is going tohappen, like an extra treat or a

(03:39):
chance to earn a reward.
If the problem centers aroundguarding a furniture or the bed,
it's often best to removeaccess temporarily while you
work on cues like off andreinforce calm, relaxed sharing.
The goal is to make sure yourdog doesn't feel responsible for

(04:03):
controlling who gets close toyou or shared spaces, because
that responsibility is unsafefor everyone involved.
But at the end of the day, yourdog doesn't need you to stop
hugging or laughing or sharingspace.
They just need guidance on howto handle it and with practice

(04:23):
and consistency, your dog learnsthat family affection is just
another part of daily life andthat they can relax and be
included without having to jumpin or referee.