#230 Don't Watch Me

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Ever asked your dog to “watch me” and wondered why they still feel wound tight? We dig into the quiet truth most training clips skip: eye contact is a behavior, not a feeling, and pinning a stare rarely resets a stressed nervous system. 

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:04):
Welcome to the Five Minute Dog, the mini podcast
that delivers practical trainingadvice in less than five
minutes.

SPEAKER_01 (00:13):
When I meet new dog owners, one of the first cues
that they often mention is watchme or look.
They've seen it online or inobedience videos, and it sounds
great in theory.
If the dog is looking at you,they must be paying attention to

(00:33):
you, right?
Well, not exactly.
I've watched countless dogsexecute a perfect watch me.
Their eyes snap to their owner'sface on cue, they hold it for a
few seconds, and they even get atreat for it.
But here's what most peoplemiss.

(00:54):
The dog's brain hasn't actuallyreset.
Their body is still tight, earsflicking, pupils are huge.
They're looking at you, butthey're still feeling stressed
or over aroused or anxious aboutwhatever's out there.
Many people assume that watch mesomehow interrupts emotion.

(01:18):
Like it makes the dog take adeep breath and calm down, but
it doesn't.
It's an action, not a feeling.
The dog might perform itbeautifully while still
internally spiraling.
It's kind of like asking ananxious child to look at me when
they're upset.

(01:39):
You might get the eye contact,but you didn't change how they
feel.
You didn't help them process ordecompress.
You just got a quick moment ofcontrol that looks good from the
outside.
So I would rather teachsomething that builds true
connection, something that helpsthe dog regulate instead of

(02:02):
repress.
That might be natural check-inswhere the dog chooses to look at
you on their own, or movementcues like let's go or this way,
which gives them an outlet tomove, breathe, and feel safer.
When dogs learn that moving withyou makes the world less scary,

(02:24):
they want to look at you.
They don't do it because youask, they do it because they
trust you.
And that's the differencebetween obedience and
communication.
So remember, eye contact isn'tthe goal.
Connection is.
Watch me might look impressive,but it's not a shortcut to trust

(02:48):
or calm or attention.
I would rather see a dog glanceback at their person
voluntarily, tell relaxed andbody loose, and then happily
move forward together.
That's not obedience, that'spartnership.