January 10, 2024 • 56 mins
There's something magical about the first few moments of a snowfall that always seems to bring life into sharp, serene focus. As the winter wonderland envelops us, I, Grace Black, invite you on a heartwarming journey through the everyday moments that define our lives in the latest season of Five Years Time. This season, we cozy up with discussions about the simple joys of home improvement, like the great IKEA carpet quest and the bedroom conundrum—should we go king-size? Together, we reflect on the importance of creating a nurturing space that evolves with us, and how it mirrors our own transformations.
Motherhood and career balance is a dance that many of us know well, and as a new mom, I open up about the delicate steps I'm taking on this path. I examine the struggle for identity amidst societal expectations and the allure of being present for those precious early years with our little ones. Join me as I navigate the digital age's demands on content creation and how it impacts our sense of success. It's a candid discussion on the redefinition of our aspirations—finding peace in the choices we make, whether they lead us back to the corporate world or down the road of self-employment.
Finally, we embrace the slow pace and indulge in new hobbies that add sparks of joy to our lives. There's chatter about my latest movie indulgences, a nod to the hilarious reality of TV shows that hit close to home for us parents, and the shared laughter over discovering a new favorite snack. It's a toast to the authentic connections we make, the ones that sustain us beyond the screen, with an open invitation to follow along on YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok for a peek into the day-to-day adventures. Here's to another year of laughter, growth, and those precious moments that we only find when we're truly present.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone.
You're listening to Five YearsTime with your host, grace Black
.
Five Years Time podcast, season4.
(00:29):
I guess I should just put fourfingers up if you're watching on
YouTube Season 4.
Can you believe it?
I actually can't believe thatwe're going into our fourth year
of this podcast.
What I'm so excited for you tobe here.
If you're new, welcome for myOG cuties.
I'm so happy we're back.
Happy January.
(00:50):
Today is such a snowy day,literally.
I think it hit 8am and the snowjust started falling in giant
chunkies.
It felt like we were living inthe snow globe, which honestly,
just felt so refreshing becauseit's been so gloomy, with a day
of sun every six days or so.
(01:11):
The snow just adds a little bitmore of something to those dark
days.
I never shower with lights on.
My friend Haley actually toldme about this the no light
shower.
It is so nice because ourbathroom light has there's one
(01:32):
switch and it controls the lighton the mirror at the sink and
then there's a light in theshower.
When you have it on, all thoselights go on and there's a
dimmer switch.
But when you dim it so far itflickers a bit just because we
use LED light bulbs, theenvironmentally friendly ones so
they don't dim, as well as thenon-environmentally friendly
(01:52):
ones.
Anyways, I used to dim it, butthen it was like I kind of don't
like that.
Then I saw this from my friendHaley.
She said she had shared thatshe does no lights for less
stimulation.
I guess I was like I'm going totry that.
I always crack the window a bitand I like to have the window
open.
I do no light, which is awesome.
(02:15):
But then also now, becausemornings not even mornings have
been so dark, I've been takingmy showers when it's supposed to
be sunny, like around eighto'clock, and it is so dark.
But what can you do?
The best is when I get anafternoon shower in on a sunny
day, because the way the sunhits in our house it like shines
into the shower if I crack thecurtain a bit, and that is so
(02:38):
lovely.
But that has rarely to happenbecause it's been so gloomy.
But anyways, the snow today justmade me so happy and I'm
excited to come out of recordingthis podcast.
Since I'm in a no window roomto sit, I think I'm going to sit
on my bed.
Actually, I think I need tohang a few mirrors.
I've been doing.
We've been doing a bunch ofstuff.
(02:59):
I'll keep you updated on that,but anyways, I have some stuff I
need to do and I'll have to getthis all exported and uploaded
and everything after, and so Ijust want to sit and I hope that
the window has the snow fallingstill, because it's so lovely.
I actually love snow.
I love how quiet and calm itmakes the world feel like.
(03:19):
It really just adds this layerof silence and I love it so, so,
so much.
Anyways, welcome back.
I hope you had a wonderfulbreak.
I left you with a lot ofepisodes for our 12 days of
Podmas and we are back with oursunshine in the studio and our
orange pillow, which I amwearing literally all orange
(03:39):
today.
You know me, I've got myoranges like my favorite color.
I have a lot of favorite colors, but like basically anything in
this, like I love a sunset, Ilove pinkies and oranges and
yellowies and I just love it.
I love all colors, but thosecolors are really my favorite.
But welcome back.
I hope we all had a wonderfulholiday.
(04:00):
If you celebrate Christmas, Ihope it was beautiful.
The new year I hope you had awonderful time.
I figure we'll do some weeklyrecap.
If you're new here.
I'm Grace, I'm the host.
I am so excited that you'rehere.
You can also.
I just want to shout out thatI'm back to weekly vlogging and
over on YouTube so you can gofollow me there for vlogs on
(04:23):
Sundays and podcast episodevideo on Wednesday at Five Years
Time podcast on YouTube.
And then you can always followfor any day to day fun food
content over on Instagram andTikTok at Five Years Time
podcast.
So that's my little shout outthere.
Okay, now let's hop into.
I'm going to say weekly recap,but it's a couple of weekly
(04:45):
recap, a couple of weeks ofrecap, because I haven't talked
to you since right beforeChristmas.
I believe Christmas Eve was mylast podcast, which was a cutie
one because Ro jumped in at theend and I love having little Ro
memories.
I actually have a folder on mycomputer of podcasts that she
(05:05):
likes to record.
She'll come in here and justtalk on the mic and so I have
all her little voices saved.
It's so sweet.
Anyways, christmas was wonderful.
It was a very chillaxing day.
We actually had a little bit.
It's been pretty much sinceChristmas that there's been no
sun, but we did have a littlesunshine on Christmas morning
here, and then we drove to ourfamily Christmases in a couple
(05:29):
of cities over and it was justlike gloom, but we did have a
lovely Christmas.
We had a lovely Christmas Evewith my mom and brother and then
Christmas morning with just me,trevor and Ro, and then we had
it over to my aunt's for brunch,which was lovely, and then
Trevor's parents for Christmasdinner, which, equally, was all.
It was just a very chill likethat seems like a lot, but
(05:50):
they're all chill events, so itwas very nice.
And then we came home.
Sometimes we stay over atTrevor's parents, but we came
home that night and that wasgreat because we woke up on
Boxing Day and just had a totalveg day.
That was kind of a veg weeklike we just vegged.
Trevor was off work for thefirst time in a long time, like
of just like having a week offto hang out at home.
(06:11):
He doesn't really he doesn't.
He usually saves his vacationtime for vacations or yeah.
So that was just nice for us toall just literally chill.
The house became layers oflayers of mess and clutter and
toys and stuffies and I think bythe end of it I was like over
(06:34):
stimulated.
I'm very overwhelmed.
And so then we kind of wentinto full, like we switched from
extreme chill to extreme purgeand fix random things that need
fixing, and then doing randombits and bobs around the house
and switching up a bunch ofrandom stuff, moving furniture
around.
We just went from one extremeto the next, which was wonderful
(06:57):
.
Me and Trevor were both on thesame page and we did a bunch of
random tasks that have been likeon our list for so long.
You know, you know how it goes.
You have like change light bulbhere, new head, what is it
called Showerhead here?
This that whatever.
We put in a new faucet in ourdownstairs bathroom.
I got Trevor a bidet forChristmas so he installed that,
(07:20):
which kind of inspired the newfaucet.
And then that inspired changingour showerhead up here, which
is amazing because I've beenwanting an arm showerhead for so
long, because it's like 10times easier to wash a shower
and bath when you have an armone like one that you can
disconnect from the, from thewall.
And so that is one reason.
(07:41):
Another reason is it's easierfor me to wash Rose hair because
I have more control to not getsoap in her eyes.
And three, it's easier for meto wash the dog, because then I
can just hose her off and Reallyget the soap out.
Anyways, I'm just so excited.
I also love it for myself andit is wonderful.
So, yeah, we honestly we had aweek between Christmas and New
(08:03):
Year's where we just vaged, andthen we kind of turned that into
at the end of the New Year's orat the closer to the New Year's
, into, okay, let's just likestart getting our house the way
we want it for winter, becauseyou know, wintertime You're just
sitting in the home Enjoying it, and so we wanted to do that.
And then New Year's was awesometoo.
(08:24):
I just need to fix my sittingsituation.
I Keep sitting in this chairuncomfortably and then I start
talking.
I need this mic closer to me sothat I can really veg.
Okay, whatever, we're gonnafigure it out, we're figuring it
out.
Q it's.
This is the Europe figuring outhow I'm sitting.
That makes me feel morecomfortable.
(08:45):
But anyways, then we had NewYear's, which was so wonderful,
and we went to our friends,which, honestly, it was so chill
.
We went to our friends, condodowntown, and there was this big
debate on if, or a rumor that Ihad heard that we were gonna go
out and then ended it anyways.
The weather I don't really.
(09:06):
I hate going out in Toronto oneNew Year's.
It's like I've done it.
I've been there and I know thatI don't like doing it anymore
and I was like I really don'twant to.
And then, anyways, the weatherended up being so weird.
It was like rainy, snowy, haley.
It was going through like allphases of weather just like in a
rotation the whole night, andso we ended up staying in all
night.
Yay, so that was so fun To justbe able to stay in.
(09:28):
And then I actually we weregonna stay at Trevor's sisters
because her place is downtownand then we wouldn't have to
drive all the way home, we couldboth just drink, chill,
whatever.
But then I was like you knowwhat I don't really feel like
drinking going into the new year, I kind of just want to like
have a fresh start.
We had already like switchedour mindset to like Working on
(09:50):
the house, getting things done.
I knew that I was gonna haverow for a whole another week
home and I had some work stuffthat I needed to get done and I
kind of just want it to likehave Just start the year in a
good way, but mainly start thatweek just like feeling fresh and
Not lose a day to like ahangover anything.
If I want it, even like notbecause I want it to be like go,
(10:14):
go, go on New Year's Day, buteven if I want it to like chill,
I just wanted it to be like anice chill, like not a hangover
chill.
You know what I mean.
So, anyways, I was like youknow what?
I'm just gonna drive and I'dlove for us to sleep in our bed,
like I really just want to likestart the day in ours, in our
house.
And Trevor was like okay, ifyou want to, and I was like
that's what I want to do.
So that's what we ended updoing and I'm so happy we did.
(10:36):
I Actually ended up getting awhole bunch of fun like sober
drinks.
Farm boy has like switched overthere.
They used to sell beer and wineand now they've switched over
to like a sober bottle shop andso they always have so many fun
drinks.
So I got a bunch of fun drinksand I still had a great time.
So, yeah, anyways, that waswonderful, except for the drive
(10:59):
was like a little Treacherous onthe way.
There was more treacherous onthe way home it wasn't as bad
and we have friends who live inBurlington so we were able to
drive them home, so that wasawesome.
But Ro slept at my mom's andthen the next day I had so much
laundry to do so I literallyjust did laundry all day and
watch shows, and then I pickedher up after her nap time and
(11:22):
and that was great.
I just really needed to getthat laundry out of the way.
And I started a show calledsomething Victoria white no,
white, victoria white, princesswhite white, queen white,
something like that, and I wasgonna continue watching it.
But I only watched half anepisode before I went to pick up
row, so I didn't really getfully into it.
(11:42):
And then I started watchingsomething else, which I'll talk
about in Whatever it's calledentertainment recap.
I'm like, what are my segmentscalled?
But anyways, it was wonderful.
Then me and Ro had our weektogether.
Trevor was back at work and wejust like every day got out in
the morning and ran errandsbecause we needed to pick up
(12:03):
little random things here andthere, and so we had lots of
errands and every day by lunchrow was like it's been a big day
of shopping, which, to be fair,it is like getting in and out
of the car and like going toCanadian Tire and Home Depot and
stuff like that is Exhausting.
But I'm glad because we goteverything we need to go.
We actually actually took herto IKEA for the first time.
(12:25):
I haven't been in an IKEA.
Well, I guess I went into ininto IKEA this summer with my
friends when we were inVancouver, but that was more of
just like Going into brows.
I knew I wasn't gonna buyanything because I had to fly
home and whatever.
But yeah, so I actually havebeen in IKEA.
But I haven't been in an IKEAwith the expectation of buying
something and like a long timeand I I Almost got like carried
(12:49):
away and then I needed to likescale myself back.
I was like great, start with onething at a time and the one
thing I really need it was a newcarpet.
I've never looked at IKEAcarpets before.
Guys, they have amazing carpetsfor like not a lot of money and
they're like so plush.
Like I bought all our carpetsfor our house the cheapest I
(13:10):
could from Wayfair and they camein like a day.
So that was awesome and likethey've really fun designs and
stuff.
But I'm gonna tell you they'relike not cozy wozy carpets.
They're like pretty, like Basiccarpets, which is fine, I'm
glad, because you know they havelived through Having a child
and all of that.
So I'm like glad I didn'tinvest in them and like they're
(13:32):
not forever carpets.
But like I just needed a newcarpet for a room because I put
our room carpet in our basementbecause our basement gets so
cold in the winter, I was kindof over it and it's a giant
carpet anyway.
So I was like I'll be good inthe basement and I love it there
.
It's so cozy, wozy, it's goodto play on, it's fine if things
spill on it, whatever.
But I was like I need somethingcozy for our room now.
So Ikea had such amazingcarpets for like under $200 that
(13:55):
are so cozy wozy.
I've only had it for a week sofar.
I'm loving it and it's so cozywozy on my feet.
So anyways, that was the mainthing we went to IKEA for.
And then that led me to beinglike maybe I've wanted a king
bed for so long.
I just want one.
I just know that it'll make oursleeping arrangement so much
better.
Me and Trevor always sleep somuch better in a king bed.
If row needs to come in in themiddle of the night, there's
(14:17):
room for everyone.
I just know it'll be so muchbetter.
But it's kind of one of thosethings that's like Not a waste
of money because it won't bewasted.
It'll make such a difference, Iknow it, but it's like an
unnecessary expense.
We have a perfectly fine bed.
It's, we don't need it likeit's not, we don't have to buy a
new bed.
That's.
(14:38):
That's more of the thing.
And I go back and forth, backand forth, back and forth.
But in our guest room we havean IKEA bed that is like a day
bed that pulls out into a Doublesingle, so you put two single
mattresses on it and then it's aking bed.
So we have that in our guestroom and it's been with us since
the condo.
We got it for the condo, um,because my mom was coming to
(15:04):
stay with us when she was.
She had already retired andthen we had two bedrooms and so
we she had already retired andmoved out of Toronto, but then
she went back to work afterretirement and so she just
needed a place to staythroughout the Monday to Friday.
So she was coming to stay withus in our guest room Monday to
Friday.
So we got that bed because itcould expand, but it could also
(15:27):
go back because our guest roomwasn't huge but then also it
could like accommodate humanbeings.
So, anyways, we've had that bedfor a long time and we've moved
it here.
It's been in our guest room,it's been in our main floor when
we didn't have any furniturefor like six months because
everything was back ordered.
We had put it, we unbuilt it andput it back in our living room
(15:50):
as a couch and then I feel likemaybe we even took it to our
basement once.
I don't know, but it's beeneverywhere.
We have taken it apart and putit back together so many times.
But then I just like was, I waslike maybe we just switched the
beds, like we put the Ikea bedand I brought this up with
Trevor a long time ago and hewas like no, like our beds are
more comfy than that, because itis not as comfortable because
it's two single mattresses nextto each other.
(16:11):
We do have like a topper on it,but you can still feel where
the mattress separates but I waslike maybe if we just put it in
our room I've had this itch forso long that I want a king bed.
This is a free switch.
So if we put it in our room andthen also we had the mattresses
going like so that the middleof it is like in the middle of
(16:32):
your body, but then now Ihaven't set up so that the you
like two people are kind of eachsleeping on their own mattress.
Anyways, long story short is, Ihave taken that mat, I've taken
that bed apart and I've put itin our room and I was like, if
we love it, like this is, if welove it, then like we could
(16:53):
choose one.
We could keep the bed and thenlike the frame in there and buy
a king mattress to put on it.
Two, if we don't love this bedbecause this bed is very low to
the ground and it is a day bedin the sense that it has like
walls at the top, so if we findthat annoying or whatever, like
(17:14):
the sides, then we could buy aframe and a mattress.
If we do love it and we like,really want it, like if this is
the way we're going, but mostlikely a mattress, like an
actual mattress, would be thebest way to go because, like I
think we do like the bed and Ilove it.
It has drawers underneath of it,which is amazing.
I never use them when they werein our guest room, but now that
(17:34):
it's in our room, it's likethere's three drawers in the
bottom of it and I can put ourpajamas each in one drawer.
So Trevor has pajama drawer, Ihave pajama drawer and they're
deep.
So then the pajamas are at thefront and then behind I put our
like extra bags and purses andthings and then in the middle I
have nothing so far, but I thinkI'm going to put our extra
sheets in there, which will freeup room in our linen closet,
(17:56):
which is totally just likeshoved to the brim because I
have all our pool towels inthere.
Anyways, so far I'm loving it,literally obsessed, and yeah, I
think in the near future Iprobably will like the mattress
is okay for now, but I think itwould be nice for us to get a
actual mattress for the bed, butlike mattresses are so
(18:16):
expensive and yeah, sometime inthe future, but right now I'm
like literally obsessed.
So that's a big change that hashappened in this new year.
That's just making me so happyand it's something I've wanted
for so long and I'm glad that Iwas able to like think, just
figure it out so that we didn'thave to spend money.
But yeah, so that's what Ispent this past week doing is me
(18:40):
and Ro, which has been hangingout switching furniture around,
and Ro is officially back atschool and I'm back into my new
routine, slash old routine, andable to work without distraction
, which is wonderful, but that'spretty much what we've been up
to Like.
We also went and saw the lastfireworks in Niagara Falls.
They always do like fireworksover Christmas and we kept
(19:01):
saying we were gonna go andevery night we forgot.
And then Ro reminded us onSunday, which was the last night
, and she was like I reallywanna see fireworks and I was
like, oh my gosh, is that stillgoing on?
And Trevor was like this is thelast night.
I was like amazing.
So we went to that and we did afew of the attractions, which
is always fun.
So that was a good time andit's just been a wonderful like
really relaxing holiday periodand few weeks and I think like
(19:27):
we've just really been taking achill, like we didn't do many
social things and that felt good, like I was feeling really
anxious in life, like just likegoing into the new year and so I
think it's been really nice tojust stay low and focus in on
the family and stuff like that.
So, yeah, that's been feelingreally good.
(19:48):
Okay, so let's get into oursnack and drink of the week.
Finally, I was literally justthinking I'm so thirsty but I'll
start with my stack so that wecan go into our drink.
So my snack is Fatouche chips.
Like I don't know where you canbuy them.
I'm sure you can get them at,like, middle Eastern stores, but
I'm not sure if like other likeI have never actually looked up
Walmart or other grocery storesto see if they've had them,
(20:08):
because Farm Boy has an in-storebrand.
But Fatouche chips, they'relike a pita chip but they're
fried in coconut oil and they'rethinner and they're so so, so
good.
Yeah, so it's like a pita chipbut thinner, and they're just
like melt in your mouth,delicious with hummus.
I love them.
Ro loves them too.
She's obsessed.
(20:28):
We're in our Fatouche chip era.
So Fatouche chips is my snackand then my drink cuties, I
can't believe I'm telling youthis.
Is this sparkling water, it's anaha, and it specific flavor is
lime and watermelon.
Now, I have never drank in thisand I don't know why I had oh,
I know why.
So I never drink watermelonflavored things.
(20:49):
I avoided at all costs.
I don't mind, I love watermelon, I like watermelon candies.
But I had a watermelon drinkwhen I was younger, like a
watermelon juice that I threw upeverywhere on a car trip.
So like ever since then, I justlike never have watermelon
flavored things.
I will not drink them.
But I was with Ro at we were ateither homesteads or winters or
(21:10):
whatever, and we had gone to acouple stores already and she
was so thirsty and I didn't haveany water in the car and I
think we had to go one moreplace.
So I was like we're at thecheckout and they have like a
little drink fridge and the onlything they had left was
watermelon and lime.
Aha.
So I was like okay, do you wantthis bubbly water?
And she was like, yeah, I wantthat.
I was like, okay, awesome.
So I was like, oh, I'm gonnatry a sip.
(21:31):
Before she drank out of it.
I don't know why.
I want it to do that, but I did.
Oh, it is so good.
It tastes just like a JollyRancher, like a watermelon Jolly
Rancher, which is like the bestJolly Rancher.
It is so friggin good.
Like I am, I'm obsessed.
We went about a case right away.
Like I was, like we have to buya case of this.
So, anyways, I have mywatermelon.
(21:52):
Aha, let's open it up and takea sip.
It's so good.
It tastes just like awatermelon Jolly Rancher.
It smells like it, it tasteslike it.
Yum yum, yum, yum, yum.
We're almost done that.
(22:12):
We also.
While we were there, it was twocases for five or whatever, so
we got this one, and then we gotthe passion fruit one, which I
also love.
But, yeah, I'm literally oh, Ican't believe I've lived so long
without that.
So that's our snack and drinkof the week.
Now let's get into what Ilearned this week.
Gweeden's so last year.
(22:39):
Since we are now officiallyinto 2024, let's just do a
little.
A little overview of the 2023year, which is my word.
My word for 2023.
Last year was all about findingclarity, and I think I did find
that I spent a lot of timetrying to figure out what my not
even what my purpose is.
That's not it, what myreasoning, what I want, what is
(23:03):
my driving thing and how am Igoing to help myself based
decisions to make sure that I'mliving the life that I want to
live.
So last year was all aboutfinding clarity and I feel like
I found that.
So 2024, this year, is allabout taking that clarity and
leaning into it, showingappreciation to my life and
(23:24):
leading each day with the like,with my greatest wants at the
center.
And so today I'm just going toshare a bit about what that,
what that means to me, and howI'm moving forwards with that.
So my greatest role in life, Ithink, is motherhood, like as of
well, I was going to say as ofright now, but like I think like
(23:46):
that's forever.
Once you have kids, you're likekind of a mom forever.
I, when I became a mom, like itfelt so at peace for me, like
it was a part of me that alwaysexisted and then was like
unlocked and unleashed.
I kind of stepped into likemoming really effortlessly.
Like that felt really flawlessto me.
(24:06):
Now, okay, saying thispostpartum and stuff like that
did not feel flawless andeffortless to me.
That stuff was hard, but likebeing a mom feels really just
like a part of who I am and I'mgrateful for that.
But I feel like for so longthere I, I didn't know what was
(24:33):
appropriate and not appropriateand this sounds funny because
it's nothing is appropriate ornot appropriate.
You get to decide.
But I didn't know, like Ididn't want to lose myself to
motherhood, which we all do atsome point.
It is so hard, especially atthe beginning.
You like kind of have to loseyourself to it, because you have
a kid who is so, so, soattached to you in every way.
(24:55):
You're feeding them, you'reliterally the breath they
breathe, like it's just like somuch.
You are in sync, you are here,you were one with this person
for a long time, and theneventually it starts to separate
and they become their own humanand you become yourself again.
And so I I was having a reallylike hard time figuring out what
(25:18):
was, what was keeping me stillgrace, but also like learning to
be a mom at the same time, ifthat makes sense.
And so I found what wassomething that was really
difficult in this transition waslike transitioning from it's so
hard, because I feel like, okay, I feel like we live in a world
(25:41):
where like work is like such apart.
Like you are your work, you arewhat you do for work.
I feel like that is so such abig part of our society.
And like life in general.
Like when you think back when Ithink back to like being a kid
it's like what do you want to be?
When you grow up, when you thinkback to high school, it's like
anytime you go to a familyfunction or meet someone who you
(26:03):
haven't seen in a long time,it's like, oh, like what do you
want to go to school for?
Like where do you want to go touniversity, college?
And then it's like when you'rein university or college, it's
anytime you see family orfriends.
It's always like, oh, likehow's school?
Like what do you think you wantto do next?
Like what do you think yourjob's going to be?
And like it's never I don'tknow.
Like the questions are neverlike how are you?
(26:24):
Like I know that seems basic,but I feel like every connection
we have with someone is like sohow's work?
Which I think is like literallythe most boring part about a
person, and we need to get morecreative with our questions and
wanting to know about people.
But then also us as ourselvesneed to adventure further into
hobbies and things outside ofwork and all of this stuff.
(26:47):
So when I went for my workinglife, which was like a huge part
of me, to maternity leave,which was then full on
motherhood.
I found that separation reallyeasy.
Like I found that so easybecause I knew at that point in
my life like I worked and thenhere in Canada you get a year
(27:09):
maternity leave and it's likethis is the year of my life
where I am to devote myself tomotherhood.
Now, like I'm not saying youhave to do that, but like for me
it was like that was reallyeasy.
It was like a year I get todevote myself to motherhood.
At the beginning I literallycould not even think of work.
Like if people would call meabout like questions they had
about work, I found it reallyhard to turn on that part of my
(27:31):
brain.
I was like, okay, think, grace,think, think, which is so wild
because that used to be likesecond nature, first nature to
me, to just like know whatneeded to happen or talk about
like whatever was going on, butanyway, so I found that really
easy.
Going from working to maternityleave, like I found it easy to
focus on being a mom.
(27:53):
Like I'm not saying there'smore to that, of course like it
was lonely and there were timeswhere I felt like I was having
FOMO, but also I didn't get toomuch FOMO because it was also
during the pandemic.
So then everything closed downand then people were not work,
so like it was a differentsituation.
But overall I did find it easyto like tap into my motherhood
(28:15):
side of me.
That came very natural to me.
Then we moved and I wasn'tgoing to go back to the job I
was supposed to go back to.
So now I needed to find a newcareer and now this is where it
started feeling veryoverwhelming.
Like I feel like there was apart of me in my whole life
where I knew that I wanted to bea very available mom.
(28:39):
Now I don't know how to say thiswithout not being offensive,
but like I grew up in a familywhere I had a single mom and I
okay, preface this I absolutelylove my childhood, I love my mom
, I loved everything.
But I grew up in a family whereand I'm so grateful for my mom
and so I grew up in a familywhere I had a single mom who
(29:00):
worked and I was in before andafter school program.
I was at a school like I'd getdropped off like first thing in
the morning at like 7am and thenI was picked up like last thing
at 6pm and I think that's why Ilove working before and after
school because, like when I workin childcare is I just like
know that life and like I getthe kids and like I just love it
(29:21):
.
So, anyways, but my point beingis that like I was very much
like you wake up, you go in, theday starts, go, go, go, go go,
and then when the end of the daycomes, what's going to do?
We're going to throw somethingon the table.
I come when I come home fromschool, like at the time when I
was not in before and afterschool, if I had welcome from
(29:42):
school, make my own snack,whatever, which was fine.
I did not like that.
I loved it.
I actually loved a lot of.
There was definitely benefits,freedom and flexibility.
I loved that.
I became very independent, allthat stuff.
I love that.
But there were definitely,there was definitely a part of
me that was like, oh, it wouldbe nice to see what life would
be like with I'm not trying tosay more hands on mom.
(30:05):
That's the thing.
My mom was amazing, likeliterally she did everything,
and I think she also set thestandard really high for me
because she did everything.
She was an amazing mom.
She worked, she had a greatfriendship circle, she did
things for herself, she didthings for her family like she
had.
She was a superwoman, and so,anyways, when I became a mom, it
(30:28):
felt really good to be a mom,like I felt like, oh my gosh,
I'm finally doing the thing.
That feels so good, it feelsless stressful, it feels like
I'm I'm living up to a potentialthat I have been looking for,
like I love this, I feel like Iit's so effortless and natural
for me.
So then, when I was going intofinding out what my next career
(30:50):
was going to be, I found thatreally difficult.
And then I was like, okay, Ithink I just want to work part
time, because it was hard for meto find a job.
It's really hard to find a jobthat works with your kids child
care and then without having tolike do extended care or maybe
find like a nanny or somethingfor the in between, I don't know
(31:12):
.
Like there was just a lot ofstuff, it was really.
I found that it was reallymathematical to try and find a
job.
So then it was like, okay,maybe a part time job would be
better, but then finding a parttime job with the hours that
works so we only have one car.
And then it's like, who's goingto drop off a row If I need the
car to go to work?
But then I'm at work beforethis time or whatever it was.
It's really hard.
And then it's like, okay, well,how much money do we need to
(31:33):
make it all work?
And then it's all of it wasvery, very like stressful.
So then I ended up getting afull time job, which was what I
didn't.
I said I didn't want a fulltime job, but then this job was
going to be amazing, whatever Iwas so excited for.
So then I ended up getting fulltime job that I started.
It was not what I expected, butthen also, without it being what
it expected, it also was reallyhard.
I only saw row like half anhour a day.
(31:53):
I felt like I was missing outon everything.
I went from seeing herliterally all the time for two
years to only seeing her forlike half an hour in the morning
, half an hour before bed,whatever.
And then it was like, hey, thisisn't working, like I don't
like this.
This isn't the life Ienvisioned, this isn't I like
being a mom, I want to be a mom.
(32:14):
So then it was like, okay, howcan I make whatever we need to
make to make ends meet and livea life that we want to live but
then also be a available partnerfor my family?
Because, like, I also was likenot, I was just absent in every
place.
I wasn't be, I wasn't showingup for myself, I wasn't showing
(32:35):
up for my kid, I wasn't showingup for Trevor, like I just was
not.
I was not being who I wanted tobe and I was not living a life
I wanted to live and I wasworking a job that made me
miserable.
So, yeah, there was really nowinning there.
So then, when we decide it, hey, we need to make this, make a
change.
And I decided I'm going to stepback, I'm going to focus on the
(32:56):
podcast and going to give myselfsix months to try and build
some sort of flexible income andjob from social media,
podcasting, all of that, and seewhat happens.
Amazing, I was a superintentional about it and things
took off and I was able toachieve that goal, which I am so
(33:16):
unbelievably grateful for.
Like that was a true dream cometrue and I am so, so grateful
for that.
And I'm now able to have aschedule that I create for
myself, that I can createflexibility and and be there for
all the people in my life thatI want to be there for and do
the things that I have alwaysdreamt of doing, and create a
(33:38):
life that I've always dreamt ofhaving.
That helps to heal the innerchild and do the things that I
wanted, and now I'm able tocreate them and be part of them.
And, yeah, that's amazing.
But in that I got confused, Igot lost, I got distracted, I
got.
(33:58):
Then there's a difference whenyou go from working for other
people for working for yourself.
So when you work for yourself,it's like now I'm in charge of
my schedule.
I need to figure out.
I'm kind of available 24 sevenif I'm working for myself and
then, especially with socialmedia, it's like you could be
posting all the time,interacting da, da, da, da, da,
da da.
You could be up editing foreverand ever and ever.
There's always things you canbe doing.
(34:20):
You could be contacting thisbrand, you could be working with
these people.
You could, you can.
Literally the world is yours,the oyster.
You can do as much as you want,you can reach for the stars and
you can just like keep addingmore to your plate.
There's no limit.
The limit is limitless.
So that's where I got confused,because once it started growing
and I felt like, oh, there's somuch I can be doing, like I kind
(34:43):
of put on pause the life Iwanted to live.
Like that.
I was grateful for that.
I was.
I was like, oh my gosh, like Ican be a stay at home mom and I
can bring income to the familyso that we can do cool things
and fix to what is it called?
Taps and things like one of thethings we just did.
But like it's, like that'samazing.
(35:05):
That is what I want it.
I want it to be of the hands onmom who made after school snack
and got to have breakfast everymorning with her family, like
that.
That that's the dream, that'swhat I want it.
And then I got distracted and Iwas like, okay, there's so much
opportunity out there I need toput.
(35:25):
I need to put on hold my familydreams and focus on my career
dreams like, oh my gosh, likecareer oriented.
And then it's like wait, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Then I got like six months ayear into that and got just got
confused because it's like thisisn't what I wanted.
I'm literally working harderthan I've ever worked in my life
and I am like never turning off.
(35:50):
I'm giving all of my all toeveryone in the world except for
my family, and this isn't whatI want.
No, stop, this isn't what Iwant.
I don't want to reach the, the,the money stars and the, the
world's hearts if I can't be andlive the life that I've always
(36:13):
wanted, which is to be with myfamily, to, to, to sit with them
and to, to look at them and toexperience them and to just like
live a simple, lovely life thatI've always wanted.
I know I didn't think I wasgoing to cry in this episode,
but it's like that is what Iwant.
(36:33):
I want the simplicity ofappreciating the sun shining in
the shower at a certain time ofthe day.
I want the enjoyment of sippinga slow cup of tea in the
morning in the living room withmy my husband and my daughter
and my dog on my lap, andbreathing in that.
That moment of peace.
That is what I want, and so Istepped back, I stopped putting
(37:05):
so much pressure myself to haveto post so much and to have to
participate in this hustleculture that everyone can
participate in, that is so bigin this world that we live in,
but especially on social media,because it's like, it's so funny
because, like, honestly, thosestats don't even matter, like
(37:26):
views, like stuff like that alot of the time, don't don't
even matter when it comes tolike brand deals and
partnerships, which is the onlyway that I make money as a
Canadian content creator.
We don't make money except foron YouTube.
You do make some creator fundsor whatever it's called, I don't
even know but like on Instagramand tick tock, like you don't
make money for views, so everyvideo you post is just for fun,
(37:50):
z's and building community andbuilding engagement, which then,
in return, that brands will seeand get to know you and then if
you have an engagement they'relooking for in a community, then
they'll reach out to you or youreach out to them or whatever
it all works out.
But that's how you make moneyas a Canadian content creator.
So, anyways, so I was puttingthat out there as a side, but
(38:11):
like I just took a step back andwas like I can't be throwing
myself in every direction andnot be literally living the life
that I want to be living.
And so I refocused, reset,turned in.
It took time, it took time, ittook a lot of time to break that
(38:35):
feeling for being not enough.
And I get caught in it stillsometimes and I think I always
will.
But I now know how to kind ofpull myself out of it and I put
in place like things to help meto not get, to not put myself in
that situation, but like it'sreally easy to not feel enough
in life in general.
And then on social media, you Idon't know, when you feel like
(38:59):
you're not getting as much asanother person, like the
comparison game or then feelingwhat's the other one?
When you imposter syndrome,like all of this stuff, it's
just so easy to get caught up init.
And so I just like I didn't stopposting altogether, but I like
just took a break and now I takeway more breaks when I or I
take breaks when I want to, likeI don't feel the need to have
(39:22):
to post every day, definitelynot every day.
And I don't feel the need tohave to post if I would normally
post, then because I do think,like when I show up, I want to
show up the way that I want toshow up, and I now really try to
understand that.
Like a lot of the time, commentsections are not for me,
they're for the people,especially when the comments are
(39:42):
like something, something her,like they're talking about me,
but not too meek, and then it'slike, okay, I don't need to read
these comments, they're not forme, they're for other people,
and it's not a, it's not part,I'm not part of the conversation
.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Anyways, I just like realized,like what is it that I want?
Like I want to be sitting withthe ones I love and have that
(40:08):
flexibility to be able to showup and help them and be where I
need to be when I need to be,but also to have the flexibility
to join a dance class.
If I want to join a dance class, hint, I may be joining a dance
class this year, but like Iwant to have flexibility to do
things for me, to do things formy family and to bring income to
(40:30):
help supplement in ways that weneed income.
So, like I just I was I want tocreate a perfect situation for
me, but I don't want to reachfor the stars in the sense that
I want to work any harder than Idid at a standard nine to five,
but I never actually worked astandard.
Well, I guess I worked a nineto five shortly, but like when I
(40:51):
worked before after school you,anyways, you understand what I
mean but like when I worked in anine to five versus working for
myself, like what is it thatI'm looking for?
And I now have so much clarityabout that.
So, going into this year, I amso focused and I am so
(41:13):
appreciative.
In any moment where I feel likeI'm not enough, I think who's
saying I'm not enough?
What am I not enough for?
And it's like I am enough.
I am more than enough.
I have created a life that Iwant and I am living in it and I
am appreciative and I'm sograteful to be here.
So like there's nothing that isnot enough.
And who I?
(41:35):
The opinions of others and theperceptions do not matter to me.
Your other people's opinionsare their own, they're their own
, they're none of my business.
None of my business.
So, anyways, this week Ilearned and I have started to
implement and that gratitude forthe life that I want and for
(41:56):
the clarity I gained last yearand have brought it into this
year as my focus, and I am sograteful for that, and I am just
feeling so empowered by that.
And every day I wake up toslowness, and I appreciate that
because I feel like I lived alife of speed for a long time,
(42:17):
of always feeling like I need todo more, be more, see more, and
now it's like I just wanna bestill and I just wanna live so
authentically in the moment.
Why am I crying again aspossible?
I have no problem with crying.
It's just like, wow, I'mclearly talking truth right now,
but I just wanna live so in themoment that the world feels
(42:47):
slow, and that's how I feelright now and I'm so grateful
for that.
And so let me take a sip.
And so, on that note, I am sograteful for all of you who
support me through this and showup weekly and comment and like
(43:11):
and share my stuff, because itreally does mean so much to me.
And also like I'm just sograteful for you when every time
I run into a cutie on thestreet or in my DMs, I am just
like, oh, these are my people.
We vibe, we mesh, we get eachother.
It feels so effortless and I amso grateful for that.
That's another thing that Ihave focused on.
It's like when I post onlinepeople who don't like my stuff,
(43:36):
whatever, but the people who getit get it and I am so grateful
for that community and likefollowers come and go and it's
like the ones who stick aroundand get it Like they are the
best, you are the best, andthose are the only people I want
in my life Like get thenegativity out of here Bye-bye.
So, anyways, this week Ilearned that I'm slow, I'm still
(44:02):
and I love living this littlelife of mine.
I hear that's a scrinch song.
Now.
There's like a trend on TikTokthat little lava man where
everyone like puts like picturesto it and like at first it was
so cute and now everyone likehates it.
I don't really get it on myfeed.
I don't really scroll that muchon TikTok anymore, but that's a
story for another day.
But anyways, let's get into ourroses, buds and thorns.
(44:25):
Okay, my rose is quiet.
Early evenings with the family.
I feel like I put focus on thisat the end of last year that I
just like really love theslowdown.
Like as soon as that.
I normally rogue it's home fromschool around four, like that's
(44:46):
when we really get in for theevening, like we're in the house
, we're in for the evening.
That's really been my favoritetime, and like even more so now,
especially that she's back atschool.
Who's only had one one night,two nights of that.
But I just love those quietearly evenings with the family.
Like I guess when we were homefor Christmas break she was
taking her naps and then wakingup around like 233 and then we'd
(45:10):
have like snack time, play time, and then we'd really get quiet
and chill and just everyonekind of Play and hang out and
read books and make dinner andcook together.
Oh I love it, I just love it.
I love it.
You turn all the lamps, get themood light in and it's just so
cozy.
We're actually saying goodbyeto our Christmas tree this week
(45:31):
because that's our pickup is onFriday for Christmas trees and I
keep thinking it's every week.
Every Friday I'm like, oh mygosh, is it the Christmas tree
pickup?
And then Trevor's like no, it's, it's like on the 11th or the
12th or the 13th or whatever,but it's in January.
So this is the, this is theweek that it's happening, and
it's so funny because for awhile I was like, oh, get this
thing out of here.
It's it's cluttering up myspace.
(45:52):
But now I'm like I'm gonna missthe ambiance of it.
But we have put in a lot of funsmart bulbs that like change
all these different colorsrecently and it's so fun, I love
it.
You can set the mood to likeall these different lights.
It's so fun.
Anyway, so quiet, early eveningswith the family or my bud, for
sure, like I get so excited forit, like I really do.
So I try to get everything Ineed to get done, work wise this
(46:16):
is another part of me, likefocusing and not over expend,
not over extending myselfWorkwise, and it's like I want
to get all my work done before Ipick up row and then I go into
full mom mode and family modeand it feels so, so, so good.
I just love it, love, love itso much.
Okay, my thorn is my lower backwas just aching so much.
(46:39):
It's actually okay now.
I stretched this morning butlike I think it's also I'm on my
period, so that probably has todo with it.
But my lower back ever sinceI've had row, my lower back has
just been it's my number oneplace to just ache.
If I'm ever Standing for toolong or doing dishes at the sink
, or even just like in themiddle of the night, it's like
it just starts aching and it'slike, oh, but Trevor did get me
(46:59):
one of those beanbaggy thingsthat you heat up.
So I heat that up before bedand put it on and then in the
morning I try to stretch it, dosome cat cows, and that does
help, but it's just like makingme and then my bud I kind of
hinted to this earlier is that Iam taking up adult ballet class
(47:19):
this winter and I'm so excitedso that starts next week.
I actually went and got all mylittle ballet uniform, which was
so fun.
I was really intimidated to godo that because I don't know.
I feel like I don't know muchabout dance.
I took ballet when I was really, really little, so I would have
had no part of like the Knowing, the what was going on or how
(47:42):
people's opinions were orwhatever.
But like I feel like now I seenlike dance mums before, or
whatever.
I just I don't.
I didn't know what it was gonnabe like, but it was so nice,
the woman who worked there wasso nice and she got me my little
slipper set out and she helpedme pick out an outfit and she
was getting me all hyped fortaking it and I was so excited.
So, yeah, um, I it's pushing mereally out of my comfort zone.
(48:02):
I used to do bar Back when welived in Toronto and I loved bar
and Pilates and stuff.
So I know bar has a lot ofsimilarities to, obviously, the
bar portion of ballet and sodoing plies and all that stuff.
So I have a little bit of thatto feel comfortable about.
But other than that, I'm reallypushing myself out of my
(48:24):
comfort zone but I'm reallyexcited.
So, yeah, I'm really lookingforward to picking up a new
hobby and trying somethingdifferent and for me so that's
really really exciting.
Okay, entertainment,entertainment, rika.
Entertainment, rika.
Okay, so I went and saw that.
See a Sweeney Sweeney.
(48:44):
What's the Sydney Sweeney moviein theaters?
What is it called?
Sydney Sweeney?
It was.
It was the new rom-com.
This is my issue, as I neverknow the name of anything.
Oh, anyone, but you, okay.
So I had seen a.
We went and saw.
What did we go and see?
Oh, we went and saw not the,the new Totoro movie.
(49:05):
It wasn't Totoro, but it's bythe same person.
Something hair in, oh,something hair in hair, in the
boy in the hair.
And so we went to saw the boyin the hair in with row and it
was good.
It was a very interesting movie, like I liked it at the.
It was long, it did feel longbut I did like it row.
(49:27):
She like kind of got boredhalfway through but she still
enjoyed and watched it.
We didn't have to leave heranything but she was definitely
like happy to be moving aroundand like the little seats and
stuff.
So but I did enjoy it.
But anyway we went to go seethat.
I saw a poster for the anyonebut you and I saw the poster and
I was like, oh, that maybe.
I was like, is it a romance?
(49:48):
I couldn't tell and then Ididn't know if it was a rom-com.
And then I got a tick talk thatsaid, hey, this is why I'm
looking forward to the anyonebut you, or this is why I feel
like it'll be promising as arom-com.
And then they kind of went intowhy and I was like, oh, okay, I
do love a rom-com.
And I was like, okay, maybeI'll go see that.
So I did go see it as like asolo movie, which you know I
love.
Gotta bring back my Friday solomovie dates.
(50:08):
That's my favorite.
So I did go see it and it was.
It was so cute I don't thinkyou have to see it in theater
like it's definitely like cheesybut very cute and it was an
enjoyable morning.
Like I'm happy I did watch it.
So that was a good one and I'mreally looking forward to being
girls, the musical coming out.
(50:29):
I think that comes out next week.
I'm so excited.
I want to see that.
Maybe it comes out this week onFriday, I don't even know, but
anyways, I'm so excited thatcould be my Friday movie this
week.
Let's see mean girls.
Here we go.
It comes out January 12,.
(50:49):
Okay, mean girls, let me gocheck my theater to see if it's
gonna be there.
I'm like, what theater do I goto?
Cute, we're bringing back theFriday movies.
Yay, okay, here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What is today?
Today's the ninth, it doesn'tsay what day.
Oh, yeah, it is gonna be there.
Okay, maybe we're gonna go seeyou that on Friday.
(51:11):
That'll be so fun.
I'm so excited.
I think my mom wanted to see it, so I have to see if she's
available Friday morning,hopefully.
We also went and saw migration,which was so cute.
I did really like migration andwe did see trolls.
I can't remember if that wasbefore the break or not, but we
did see trolls as well.
We've seen all the kids movies.
I just love trolls.
(51:32):
We've had the trolls soundtrackon like repeat and I Haven't
seen Wonka yet.
I do want to see Wonka.
Trevor wants to see Wonka butwe didn't.
I couldn't tell Rowan it to seeit or not.
She's never usually like a liveaction.
She really likes cartoons, so Iwasn't sure.
But I'm gonna ask her again tosee if she wants to see it or
(51:52):
not.
But I hear really good thingsabout it, so I'm excited for
Wonka.
I don't know if we'll see it intheater or wait until after,
but I could add it to my Fridayrotation, depending.
I feel like sometimes thesemovies like go through the
theater so quickly I don't havethe opportunity to see them.
As for shows, I am watchingYoung Sheldon, which is just
such a cute, comforting show,and I'm watching the other one
(52:14):
on Netflix called Life with kids.
Always ruin kids, ruin life,kids, what's it called?
Children ruin everything.
Kids ruin everything.
Kids ruin Everything.
Yeah, oh no, children ruineverything.
So it's actually a Toronto BayCTV show.
It's kind of like Moms, butlike different, like.
(52:37):
It's not like moms, but it'skind of like moms because it's a
Toronto Bay show and it's aboutkids and like Realisticness of
them and I actually love it.
The episodes are really short.
They're like 20 minutes long.
It's three seasons.
You go through it super quick.
But it's a nice show to throwon if you want to like eat, eat
lunch with a meal, eat lunchwith meal, eat lunch with the
(52:57):
show or just have a chill for acouple episodes.
You know, just like chill out,but not like commit it, commit
it.
But it's so cute and I thinkit's really good.
I think it's a really goodrepresentation of like
parenthood and why sometimesit's just like the wildest, like
most unenjoyable thing, but atthe end of the day you love it
so much and like you would missit if you didn't have it, so
(53:18):
like I really love it.
I think it's a really good one.
So it's called children ruineverything and that one's on
Netflix.
And then I'm trying to thinkwhat else there was that
Victoria one, white Victoria,white queen, white princess?
I don't remember.
Obviously I'm not watching itvery well.
Becca's back to school, sowe're back to watching righteous
gemstones.
We're on the newest season andthis most recent episode.
(53:39):
Like we're behind the times,but this most recent episode was
so wild, so righteous gemstonesis such a good one.
If you're looking for a good HBOcomedy and I'm trying to think
of what else I watched Belowdeck is back this week.
I'm gonna catch up on thatepisode.
And then I think winter houseshould start soon, which I'm so
excited.
I don't know when it starts,but I know it's in 2024, but I
(54:03):
love or not winter house, summerhouse Sorry, I finished winter
house, but yeah, that's it.
That's pretty much all I'mwatching.
Oh, and I did see there was anew Ginny in Georgia, but I'm
not sure when that's from.
I think I only watched oneseason, so that's another
Netflix one that I need to watchis Ginny in Georgia, but I'm
gonna finish this children roomand everything first and then
I'll watch that.
And then for new music honestly,they don't think there's any
(54:24):
new music I'm listening tobesides the troll troll's album,
which we've listened to onrepeat and we did go through a
crazy frog phase, but roadusually has like a three week
phase and then we move on.
So we our most recent phase hasbeen veggie tails, then crazy
frog and now we're on to trolls.
So I'm excited to see what'snext.
But that's pretty much it.
And I've been listening toburner phone the podcast with
(54:45):
Hannah burner and her husband,and I'm loving it.
Like it's such a comfort, sucha comfort podcast.
I listened to like all the oldepisodes I mean that they only
started it last year but theyjust like changed Hannah's
podcast into it.
But over the break I would likedid unplayed and like listen to
all of them.
I just love their relationshipand the way that they
(55:05):
communicate and they're bothcomedians and I love when they
like Create jokes and like onthe spot and like they both like
hype each other up.
It's really sweet.
So burner phone podcast ifyou're looking for a podcast,
and yeah, so that's where we'reat.
Cuties.
Welcome back to season four offive years time podcast.
(55:26):
I'm your host, grace, I'm sograteful that you are here and I
can't wait to see you here, andI can't wait for what the year
ahead of us has and I'm lookingforward to seeing if it's still
snowing out, sending you loveand light for the week ahead.
Mwah, mwah Mwah.
See you on Instagram and tiktokand for my weekly vlog over on
YouTube at five years timepodcast.
(55:47):
Love you, cute you.
Hey everyone.
You're listening to Five YearsTime with your host, grace Black
.
Five Years Time podcast, season4.
(00:29):
I guess I should just put fourfingers up if you're watching on
YouTube Season 4.
Can you believe it?
I actually can't believe thatwe're going into our fourth year
of this podcast.
What I'm so excited for you tobe here.
If you're new, welcome for myOG cuties.
I'm so happy we're back.
Happy January.
(00:50):
Today is such a snowy day,literally.
I think it hit 8am and the snowjust started falling in giant
chunkies.
It felt like we were living inthe snow globe, which honestly,
just felt so refreshing becauseit's been so gloomy, with a day
of sun every six days or so.
(01:11):
The snow just adds a little bitmore of something to those dark
days.
I never shower with lights on.
My friend Haley actually toldme about this the no light
shower.
It is so nice because ourbathroom light has there's one
(01:32):
switch and it controls the lighton the mirror at the sink and
then there's a light in theshower.
When you have it on, all thoselights go on and there's a
dimmer switch.
But when you dim it so far itflickers a bit just because we
use LED light bulbs, theenvironmentally friendly ones so
they don't dim, as well as thenon-environmentally friendly
(01:52):
ones.
Anyways, I used to dim it, butthen it was like I kind of don't
like that.
Then I saw this from my friendHaley.
She said she had shared thatshe does no lights for less
stimulation.
I guess I was like I'm going totry that.
I always crack the window a bitand I like to have the window
open.
I do no light, which is awesome.
(02:15):
But then also now, becausemornings not even mornings have
been so dark, I've been takingmy showers when it's supposed to
be sunny, like around eighto'clock, and it is so dark.
But what can you do?
The best is when I get anafternoon shower in on a sunny
day, because the way the sunhits in our house it like shines
into the shower if I crack thecurtain a bit, and that is so
(02:38):
lovely.
But that has rarely to happenbecause it's been so gloomy.
But anyways, the snow today justmade me so happy and I'm
excited to come out of recordingthis podcast.
Since I'm in a no window roomto sit, I think I'm going to sit
on my bed.
Actually, I think I need tohang a few mirrors.
I've been doing.
We've been doing a bunch ofstuff.
(02:59):
I'll keep you updated on that,but anyways, I have some stuff I
need to do and I'll have to getthis all exported and uploaded
and everything after, and so Ijust want to sit and I hope that
the window has the snow fallingstill, because it's so lovely.
I actually love snow.
I love how quiet and calm itmakes the world feel like.
(03:19):
It really just adds this layerof silence and I love it so, so,
so much.
Anyways, welcome back.
I hope you had a wonderfulbreak.
I left you with a lot ofepisodes for our 12 days of
Podmas and we are back with oursunshine in the studio and our
orange pillow, which I amwearing literally all orange
(03:39):
today.
You know me, I've got myoranges like my favorite color.
I have a lot of favorite colors, but like basically anything in
this, like I love a sunset, Ilove pinkies and oranges and
yellowies and I just love it.
I love all colors, but thosecolors are really my favorite.
But welcome back.
I hope we all had a wonderfulholiday.
(04:00):
If you celebrate Christmas, Ihope it was beautiful.
The new year I hope you had awonderful time.
I figure we'll do some weeklyrecap.
If you're new here.
I'm Grace, I'm the host.
I am so excited that you'rehere.
You can also.
I just want to shout out thatI'm back to weekly vlogging and
over on YouTube so you can gofollow me there for vlogs on
(04:23):
Sundays and podcast episodevideo on Wednesday at Five Years
Time podcast on YouTube.
And then you can always followfor any day to day fun food
content over on Instagram andTikTok at Five Years Time
podcast.
So that's my little shout outthere.
Okay, now let's hop into.
I'm going to say weekly recap,but it's a couple of weekly
(04:45):
recap, a couple of weeks ofrecap, because I haven't talked
to you since right beforeChristmas.
I believe Christmas Eve was mylast podcast, which was a cutie
one because Ro jumped in at theend and I love having little Ro
memories.
I actually have a folder on mycomputer of podcasts that she
(05:05):
likes to record.
She'll come in here and justtalk on the mic and so I have
all her little voices saved.
It's so sweet.
Anyways, christmas was wonderful.
It was a very chillaxing day.
We actually had a little bit.
It's been pretty much sinceChristmas that there's been no
sun, but we did have a littlesunshine on Christmas morning
here, and then we drove to ourfamily Christmases in a couple
(05:29):
of cities over and it was justlike gloom, but we did have a
lovely Christmas.
We had a lovely Christmas Evewith my mom and brother and then
Christmas morning with just me,trevor and Ro, and then we had
it over to my aunt's for brunch,which was lovely, and then
Trevor's parents for Christmasdinner, which, equally, was all.
It was just a very chill likethat seems like a lot, but
(05:50):
they're all chill events, so itwas very nice.
And then we came home.
Sometimes we stay over atTrevor's parents, but we came
home that night and that wasgreat because we woke up on
Boxing Day and just had a totalveg day.
That was kind of a veg weeklike we just vegged.
Trevor was off work for thefirst time in a long time, like
of just like having a week offto hang out at home.
(06:11):
He doesn't really he doesn't.
He usually saves his vacationtime for vacations or yeah.
So that was just nice for us toall just literally chill.
The house became layers oflayers of mess and clutter and
toys and stuffies and I think bythe end of it I was like over
(06:34):
stimulated.
I'm very overwhelmed.
And so then we kind of wentinto full, like we switched from
extreme chill to extreme purgeand fix random things that need
fixing, and then doing randombits and bobs around the house
and switching up a bunch ofrandom stuff, moving furniture
around.
We just went from one extremeto the next, which was wonderful
(06:57):
.
Me and Trevor were both on thesame page and we did a bunch of
random tasks that have been likeon our list for so long.
You know, you know how it goes.
You have like change light bulbhere, new head, what is it
called Showerhead here?
This that whatever.
We put in a new faucet in ourdownstairs bathroom.
I got Trevor a bidet forChristmas so he installed that,
(07:20):
which kind of inspired the newfaucet.
And then that inspired changingour showerhead up here, which
is amazing because I've beenwanting an arm showerhead for so
long, because it's like 10times easier to wash a shower
and bath when you have an armone like one that you can
disconnect from the, from thewall.
And so that is one reason.
(07:41):
Another reason is it's easierfor me to wash Rose hair because
I have more control to not getsoap in her eyes.
And three, it's easier for meto wash the dog, because then I
can just hose her off and Reallyget the soap out.
Anyways, I'm just so excited.
I also love it for myself andit is wonderful.
So, yeah, we honestly we had aweek between Christmas and New
(08:03):
Year's where we just vaged, andthen we kind of turned that into
at the end of the New Year's orat the closer to the New Year's
, into, okay, let's just likestart getting our house the way
we want it for winter, becauseyou know, wintertime You're just
sitting in the home Enjoying it, and so we wanted to do that.
And then New Year's was awesometoo.
(08:24):
I just need to fix my sittingsituation.
I Keep sitting in this chairuncomfortably and then I start
talking.
I need this mic closer to me sothat I can really veg.
Okay, whatever, we're gonnafigure it out, we're figuring it
out.
Q it's.
This is the Europe figuring outhow I'm sitting.
That makes me feel morecomfortable.
(08:45):
But anyways, then we had NewYear's, which was so wonderful,
and we went to our friends,which, honestly, it was so chill
.
We went to our friends, condodowntown, and there was this big
debate on if, or a rumor that Ihad heard that we were gonna go
out and then ended it anyways.
The weather I don't really.
(09:06):
I hate going out in Toronto oneNew Year's.
It's like I've done it.
I've been there and I know thatI don't like doing it anymore
and I was like I really don'twant to.
And then, anyways, the weatherended up being so weird.
It was like rainy, snowy, haley.
It was going through like allphases of weather just like in a
rotation the whole night, andso we ended up staying in all
night.
Yay, so that was so fun To justbe able to stay in.
(09:28):
And then I actually we weregonna stay at Trevor's sisters
because her place is downtownand then we wouldn't have to
drive all the way home, we couldboth just drink, chill,
whatever.
But then I was like you knowwhat I don't really feel like
drinking going into the new year, I kind of just want to like
have a fresh start.
We had already like switchedour mindset to like Working on
(09:50):
the house, getting things done.
I knew that I was gonna haverow for a whole another week
home and I had some work stuffthat I needed to get done and I
kind of just want it to likehave Just start the year in a
good way, but mainly start thatweek just like feeling fresh and
Not lose a day to like ahangover anything.
If I want it, even like notbecause I want it to be like go,
(10:14):
go, go on New Year's Day, buteven if I want it to like chill,
I just wanted it to be like anice chill, like not a hangover
chill.
You know what I mean.
So, anyways, I was like youknow what?
I'm just gonna drive and I'dlove for us to sleep in our bed,
like I really just want to likestart the day in ours, in our
house.
And Trevor was like okay, ifyou want to, and I was like
that's what I want to do.
So that's what we ended updoing and I'm so happy we did.
(10:36):
I Actually ended up getting awhole bunch of fun like sober
drinks.
Farm boy has like switched overthere.
They used to sell beer and wineand now they've switched over
to like a sober bottle shop andso they always have so many fun
drinks.
So I got a bunch of fun drinksand I still had a great time.
So, yeah, anyways, that waswonderful, except for the drive
(10:59):
was like a little Treacherous onthe way.
There was more treacherous onthe way home it wasn't as bad
and we have friends who live inBurlington so we were able to
drive them home, so that wasawesome.
But Ro slept at my mom's andthen the next day I had so much
laundry to do so I literallyjust did laundry all day and
watch shows, and then I pickedher up after her nap time and
(11:22):
and that was great.
I just really needed to getthat laundry out of the way.
And I started a show calledsomething Victoria white no,
white, victoria white, princesswhite white, queen white,
something like that, and I wasgonna continue watching it.
But I only watched half anepisode before I went to pick up
row, so I didn't really getfully into it.
(11:42):
And then I started watchingsomething else, which I'll talk
about in Whatever it's calledentertainment recap.
I'm like, what are my segmentscalled?
But anyways, it was wonderful.
Then me and Ro had our weektogether.
Trevor was back at work and wejust like every day got out in
the morning and ran errandsbecause we needed to pick up
(12:03):
little random things here andthere, and so we had lots of
errands and every day by lunchrow was like it's been a big day
of shopping, which, to be fair,it is like getting in and out
of the car and like going toCanadian Tire and Home Depot and
stuff like that is Exhausting.
But I'm glad because we goteverything we need to go.
We actually actually took herto IKEA for the first time.
(12:25):
I haven't been in an IKEA.
Well, I guess I went into ininto IKEA this summer with my
friends when we were inVancouver, but that was more of
just like Going into brows.
I knew I wasn't gonna buyanything because I had to fly
home and whatever.
But yeah, so I actually havebeen in IKEA.
But I haven't been in an IKEAwith the expectation of buying
something and like a long timeand I I Almost got like carried
(12:49):
away and then I needed to likescale myself back.
I was like great, start with onething at a time and the one
thing I really need it was a newcarpet.
I've never looked at IKEAcarpets before.
Guys, they have amazing carpetsfor like not a lot of money and
they're like so plush.
Like I bought all our carpetsfor our house the cheapest I
(13:10):
could from Wayfair and they camein like a day.
So that was awesome and likethey've really fun designs and
stuff.
But I'm gonna tell you they'relike not cozy wozy carpets.
They're like pretty, like Basiccarpets, which is fine, I'm
glad, because you know they havelived through Having a child
and all of that.
So I'm like glad I didn'tinvest in them and like they're
(13:32):
not forever carpets.
But like I just needed a newcarpet for a room because I put
our room carpet in our basementbecause our basement gets so
cold in the winter, I was kindof over it and it's a giant
carpet anyway.
So I was like I'll be good inthe basement and I love it there
.
It's so cozy, wozy, it's goodto play on, it's fine if things
spill on it, whatever.
But I was like I need somethingcozy for our room now.
So Ikea had such amazingcarpets for like under $200 that
(13:55):
are so cozy wozy.
I've only had it for a week sofar.
I'm loving it and it's so cozywozy on my feet.
So anyways, that was the mainthing we went to IKEA for.
And then that led me to beinglike maybe I've wanted a king
bed for so long.
I just want one.
I just know that it'll make oursleeping arrangement so much
better.
Me and Trevor always sleep somuch better in a king bed.
If row needs to come in in themiddle of the night, there's
(14:17):
room for everyone.
I just know it'll be so muchbetter.
But it's kind of one of thosethings that's like Not a waste
of money because it won't bewasted.
It'll make such a difference, Iknow it, but it's like an
unnecessary expense.
We have a perfectly fine bed.
It's, we don't need it likeit's not, we don't have to buy a
new bed.
That's.
(14:38):
That's more of the thing.
And I go back and forth, backand forth, back and forth.
But in our guest room we havean IKEA bed that is like a day
bed that pulls out into a Doublesingle, so you put two single
mattresses on it and then it's aking bed.
So we have that in our guestroom and it's been with us since
the condo.
We got it for the condo, um,because my mom was coming to
(15:04):
stay with us when she was.
She had already retired andthen we had two bedrooms and so
we she had already retired andmoved out of Toronto, but then
she went back to work afterretirement and so she just
needed a place to staythroughout the Monday to Friday.
So she was coming to stay withus in our guest room Monday to
Friday.
So we got that bed because itcould expand, but it could also
(15:27):
go back because our guest roomwasn't huge but then also it
could like accommodate humanbeings.
So, anyways, we've had that bedfor a long time and we've moved
it here.
It's been in our guest room,it's been in our main floor when
we didn't have any furniturefor like six months because
everything was back ordered.
We had put it, we unbuilt it andput it back in our living room
(15:50):
as a couch and then I feel likemaybe we even took it to our
basement once.
I don't know, but it's beeneverywhere.
We have taken it apart and putit back together so many times.
But then I just like was, I waslike maybe we just switched the
beds, like we put the Ikea bedand I brought this up with
Trevor a long time ago and hewas like no, like our beds are
more comfy than that, because itis not as comfortable because
it's two single mattresses nextto each other.
(16:11):
We do have like a topper on it,but you can still feel where
the mattress separates but I waslike maybe if we just put it in
our room I've had this itch forso long that I want a king bed.
This is a free switch.
So if we put it in our room andthen also we had the mattresses
going like so that the middleof it is like in the middle of
(16:32):
your body, but then now Ihaven't set up so that the you
like two people are kind of eachsleeping on their own mattress.
Anyways, long story short is, Ihave taken that mat, I've taken
that bed apart and I've put itin our room and I was like, if
we love it, like this is, if welove it, then like we could
(16:53):
choose one.
We could keep the bed and thenlike the frame in there and buy
a king mattress to put on it.
Two, if we don't love this bedbecause this bed is very low to
the ground and it is a day bedin the sense that it has like
walls at the top, so if we findthat annoying or whatever, like
(17:14):
the sides, then we could buy aframe and a mattress.
If we do love it and we like,really want it, like if this is
the way we're going, but mostlikely a mattress, like an
actual mattress, would be thebest way to go because, like I
think we do like the bed and Ilove it.
It has drawers underneath of it,which is amazing.
I never use them when they werein our guest room, but now that
(17:34):
it's in our room, it's likethere's three drawers in the
bottom of it and I can put ourpajamas each in one drawer.
So Trevor has pajama drawer, Ihave pajama drawer and they're
deep.
So then the pajamas are at thefront and then behind I put our
like extra bags and purses andthings and then in the middle I
have nothing so far, but I thinkI'm going to put our extra
sheets in there, which will freeup room in our linen closet,
(17:56):
which is totally just likeshoved to the brim because I
have all our pool towels inthere.
Anyways, so far I'm loving it,literally obsessed, and yeah, I
think in the near future Iprobably will like the mattress
is okay for now, but I think itwould be nice for us to get a
actual mattress for the bed, butlike mattresses are so
(18:16):
expensive and yeah, sometime inthe future, but right now I'm
like literally obsessed.
So that's a big change that hashappened in this new year.
That's just making me so happyand it's something I've wanted
for so long and I'm glad that Iwas able to like think, just
figure it out so that we didn'thave to spend money.
But yeah, so that's what Ispent this past week doing is me
(18:40):
and Ro, which has been hangingout switching furniture around,
and Ro is officially back atschool and I'm back into my new
routine, slash old routine, andable to work without distraction
, which is wonderful, but that'spretty much what we've been up
to Like.
We also went and saw the lastfireworks in Niagara Falls.
They always do like fireworksover Christmas and we kept
(19:01):
saying we were gonna go andevery night we forgot.
And then Ro reminded us onSunday, which was the last night
, and she was like I reallywanna see fireworks and I was
like, oh my gosh, is that stillgoing on?
And Trevor was like this is thelast night.
I was like amazing.
So we went to that and we did afew of the attractions, which
is always fun.
So that was a good time andit's just been a wonderful like
really relaxing holiday periodand few weeks and I think like
(19:27):
we've just really been taking achill, like we didn't do many
social things and that felt good, like I was feeling really
anxious in life, like just likegoing into the new year and so I
think it's been really nice tojust stay low and focus in on
the family and stuff like that.
So, yeah, that's been feelingreally good.
(19:48):
Okay, so let's get into oursnack and drink of the week.
Finally, I was literally justthinking I'm so thirsty but I'll
start with my stack so that wecan go into our drink.
So my snack is Fatouche chips.
Like I don't know where you canbuy them.
I'm sure you can get them at,like, middle Eastern stores, but
I'm not sure if like other likeI have never actually looked up
Walmart or other grocery storesto see if they've had them,
(20:08):
because Farm Boy has an in-storebrand.
But Fatouche chips, they'relike a pita chip but they're
fried in coconut oil and they'rethinner and they're so so, so
good.
Yeah, so it's like a pita chipbut thinner, and they're just
like melt in your mouth,delicious with hummus.
I love them.
Ro loves them too.
She's obsessed.
(20:28):
We're in our Fatouche chip era.
So Fatouche chips is my snackand then my drink cuties, I
can't believe I'm telling youthis.
Is this sparkling water, it's anaha, and it specific flavor is
lime and watermelon.
Now, I have never drank in thisand I don't know why I had oh,
I know why.
So I never drink watermelonflavored things.
(20:49):
I avoided at all costs.
I don't mind, I love watermelon, I like watermelon candies.
But I had a watermelon drinkwhen I was younger, like a
watermelon juice that I threw upeverywhere on a car trip.
So like ever since then, I justlike never have watermelon
flavored things.
I will not drink them.
But I was with Ro at we were ateither homesteads or winters or
(21:10):
whatever, and we had gone to acouple stores already and she
was so thirsty and I didn't haveany water in the car and I
think we had to go one moreplace.
So I was like we're at thecheckout and they have like a
little drink fridge and the onlything they had left was
watermelon and lime.
Aha.
So I was like okay, do you wantthis bubbly water?
And she was like, yeah, I wantthat.
I was like, okay, awesome.
So I was like, oh, I'm gonnatry a sip.
(21:31):
Before she drank out of it.
I don't know why.
I want it to do that, but I did.
Oh, it is so good.
It tastes just like a JollyRancher, like a watermelon Jolly
Rancher, which is like the bestJolly Rancher.
It is so friggin good.
Like I am, I'm obsessed.
We went about a case right away.
Like I was, like we have to buya case of this.
So, anyways, I have mywatermelon.
(21:52):
Aha, let's open it up and takea sip.
It's so good.
It tastes just like awatermelon Jolly Rancher.
It smells like it, it tasteslike it.
Yum yum, yum, yum, yum.
We're almost done that.
(22:12):
We also.
While we were there, it was twocases for five or whatever, so
we got this one, and then we gotthe passion fruit one, which I
also love.
But, yeah, I'm literally oh, Ican't believe I've lived so long
without that.
So that's our snack and drinkof the week.
Now let's get into what Ilearned this week.
Gweeden's so last year.
(22:39):
Since we are now officiallyinto 2024, let's just do a
little.
A little overview of the 2023year, which is my word.
My word for 2023.
Last year was all about findingclarity, and I think I did find
that I spent a lot of timetrying to figure out what my not
even what my purpose is.
That's not it, what myreasoning, what I want, what is
(23:03):
my driving thing and how am Igoing to help myself based
decisions to make sure that I'mliving the life that I want to
live.
So last year was all aboutfinding clarity and I feel like
I found that.
So 2024, this year, is allabout taking that clarity and
leaning into it, showingappreciation to my life and
(23:24):
leading each day with the like,with my greatest wants at the
center.
And so today I'm just going toshare a bit about what that,
what that means to me, and howI'm moving forwards with that.
So my greatest role in life, Ithink, is motherhood, like as of
well, I was going to say as ofright now, but like I think like
(23:46):
that's forever.
Once you have kids, you're likekind of a mom forever.
I, when I became a mom, like itfelt so at peace for me, like
it was a part of me that alwaysexisted and then was like
unlocked and unleashed.
I kind of stepped into likemoming really effortlessly.
Like that felt really flawlessto me.
(24:06):
Now, okay, saying thispostpartum and stuff like that
did not feel flawless andeffortless to me.
That stuff was hard, but likebeing a mom feels really just
like a part of who I am and I'mgrateful for that.
But I feel like for so longthere I, I didn't know what was
(24:33):
appropriate and not appropriateand this sounds funny because
it's nothing is appropriate ornot appropriate.
You get to decide.
But I didn't know, like Ididn't want to lose myself to
motherhood, which we all do atsome point.
It is so hard, especially atthe beginning.
You like kind of have to loseyourself to it, because you have
a kid who is so, so, soattached to you in every way.
(24:55):
You're feeding them, you'reliterally the breath they
breathe, like it's just like somuch.
You are in sync, you are here,you were one with this person
for a long time, and theneventually it starts to separate
and they become their own humanand you become yourself again.
And so I I was having a reallylike hard time figuring out what
(25:18):
was, what was keeping me stillgrace, but also like learning to
be a mom at the same time, ifthat makes sense.
And so I found what wassomething that was really
difficult in this transition waslike transitioning from it's so
hard, because I feel like, okay, I feel like we live in a world
(25:41):
where like work is like such apart.
Like you are your work, you arewhat you do for work.
I feel like that is so such abig part of our society.
And like life in general.
Like when you think back when Ithink back to like being a kid
it's like what do you want to be?
When you grow up, when you thinkback to high school, it's like
anytime you go to a familyfunction or meet someone who you
(26:03):
haven't seen in a long time,it's like, oh, like what do you
want to go to school for?
Like where do you want to go touniversity, college?
And then it's like when you'rein university or college, it's
anytime you see family orfriends.
It's always like, oh, likehow's school?
Like what do you think you wantto do next?
Like what do you think yourjob's going to be?
And like it's never I don'tknow.
Like the questions are neverlike how are you?
(26:24):
Like I know that seems basic,but I feel like every connection
we have with someone is like sohow's work?
Which I think is like literallythe most boring part about a
person, and we need to get morecreative with our questions and
wanting to know about people.
But then also us as ourselvesneed to adventure further into
hobbies and things outside ofwork and all of this stuff.
(26:47):
So when I went for my workinglife, which was like a huge part
of me, to maternity leave,which was then full on
motherhood.
I found that separation reallyeasy.
Like I found that so easybecause I knew at that point in
my life like I worked and thenhere in Canada you get a year
(27:09):
maternity leave and it's likethis is the year of my life
where I am to devote myself tomotherhood.
Now, like I'm not saying youhave to do that, but like for me
it was like that was reallyeasy.
It was like a year I get todevote myself to motherhood.
At the beginning I literallycould not even think of work.
Like if people would call meabout like questions they had
about work, I found it reallyhard to turn on that part of my
(27:31):
brain.
I was like, okay, think, grace,think, think, which is so wild
because that used to be likesecond nature, first nature to
me, to just like know whatneeded to happen or talk about
like whatever was going on, butanyway, so I found that really
easy.
Going from working to maternityleave, like I found it easy to
focus on being a mom.
(27:53):
Like I'm not saying there'smore to that, of course like it
was lonely and there were timeswhere I felt like I was having
FOMO, but also I didn't get toomuch FOMO because it was also
during the pandemic.
So then everything closed downand then people were not work,
so like it was a differentsituation.
But overall I did find it easyto like tap into my motherhood
(28:15):
side of me.
That came very natural to me.
Then we moved and I wasn'tgoing to go back to the job I
was supposed to go back to.
So now I needed to find a newcareer and now this is where it
started feeling veryoverwhelming.
Like I feel like there was apart of me in my whole life
where I knew that I wanted to bea very available mom.
(28:39):
Now I don't know how to say thiswithout not being offensive,
but like I grew up in a familywhere I had a single mom and I
okay, preface this I absolutelylove my childhood, I love my mom
, I loved everything.
But I grew up in a family whereand I'm so grateful for my mom
and so I grew up in a familywhere I had a single mom who
(29:00):
worked and I was in before andafter school program.
I was at a school like I'd getdropped off like first thing in
the morning at like 7am and thenI was picked up like last thing
at 6pm and I think that's why Ilove working before and after
school because, like when I workin childcare is I just like
know that life and like I getthe kids and like I just love it
(29:21):
.
So, anyways, but my point beingis that like I was very much
like you wake up, you go in, theday starts, go, go, go, go go,
and then when the end of the daycomes, what's going to do?
We're going to throw somethingon the table.
I come when I come home fromschool, like at the time when I
was not in before and afterschool, if I had welcome from
(29:42):
school, make my own snack,whatever, which was fine.
I did not like that.
I loved it.
I actually loved a lot of.
There was definitely benefits,freedom and flexibility.
I loved that.
I became very independent, allthat stuff.
I love that.
But there were definitely,there was definitely a part of
me that was like, oh, it wouldbe nice to see what life would
be like with I'm not trying tosay more hands on mom.
(30:05):
That's the thing.
My mom was amazing, likeliterally she did everything,
and I think she also set thestandard really high for me
because she did everything.
She was an amazing mom.
She worked, she had a greatfriendship circle, she did
things for herself, she didthings for her family like she
had.
She was a superwoman, and so,anyways, when I became a mom, it
(30:28):
felt really good to be a mom,like I felt like, oh my gosh,
I'm finally doing the thing.
That feels so good, it feelsless stressful, it feels like
I'm I'm living up to a potentialthat I have been looking for,
like I love this, I feel like Iit's so effortless and natural
for me.
So then, when I was going intofinding out what my next career
(30:50):
was going to be, I found thatreally difficult.
And then I was like, okay, Ithink I just want to work part
time, because it was hard for meto find a job.
It's really hard to find a jobthat works with your kids child
care and then without having tolike do extended care or maybe
find like a nanny or somethingfor the in between, I don't know
(31:12):
.
Like there was just a lot ofstuff, it was really.
I found that it was reallymathematical to try and find a
job.
So then it was like, okay,maybe a part time job would be
better, but then finding a parttime job with the hours that
works so we only have one car.
And then it's like, who's goingto drop off a row If I need the
car to go to work?
But then I'm at work beforethis time or whatever it was.
It's really hard.
And then it's like, okay, well,how much money do we need to
(31:33):
make it all work?
And then it's all of it wasvery, very like stressful.
So then I ended up getting afull time job, which was what I
didn't.
I said I didn't want a fulltime job, but then this job was
going to be amazing, whatever Iwas so excited for.
So then I ended up getting fulltime job that I started.
It was not what I expected, butthen also, without it being what
it expected, it also was reallyhard.
I only saw row like half anhour a day.
(31:53):
I felt like I was missing outon everything.
I went from seeing herliterally all the time for two
years to only seeing her forlike half an hour in the morning
, half an hour before bed,whatever.
And then it was like, hey, thisisn't working, like I don't
like this.
This isn't the life Ienvisioned, this isn't I like
being a mom, I want to be a mom.
(32:14):
So then it was like, okay, howcan I make whatever we need to
make to make ends meet and livea life that we want to live but
then also be a available partnerfor my family?
Because, like, I also was likenot, I was just absent in every
place.
I wasn't be, I wasn't showingup for myself, I wasn't showing
(32:35):
up for my kid, I wasn't showingup for Trevor, like I just was
not.
I was not being who I wanted tobe and I was not living a life
I wanted to live and I wasworking a job that made me
miserable.
So, yeah, there was really nowinning there.
So then, when we decide it, hey, we need to make this, make a
change.
And I decided I'm going to stepback, I'm going to focus on the
(32:56):
podcast and going to give myselfsix months to try and build
some sort of flexible income andjob from social media,
podcasting, all of that, and seewhat happens.
Amazing, I was a superintentional about it and things
took off and I was able toachieve that goal, which I am so
(33:16):
unbelievably grateful for.
Like that was a true dream cometrue and I am so, so grateful
for that.
And I'm now able to have aschedule that I create for
myself, that I can createflexibility and and be there for
all the people in my life thatI want to be there for and do
the things that I have alwaysdreamt of doing, and create a
(33:38):
life that I've always dreamt ofhaving.
That helps to heal the innerchild and do the things that I
wanted, and now I'm able tocreate them and be part of them.
And, yeah, that's amazing.
But in that I got confused, Igot lost, I got distracted, I
got.
(33:58):
Then there's a difference whenyou go from working for other
people for working for yourself.
So when you work for yourself,it's like now I'm in charge of
my schedule.
I need to figure out.
I'm kind of available 24 sevenif I'm working for myself and
then, especially with socialmedia, it's like you could be
posting all the time,interacting da, da, da, da, da,
da da.
You could be up editing foreverand ever and ever.
There's always things you canbe doing.
(34:20):
You could be contacting thisbrand, you could be working with
these people.
You could, you can.
Literally the world is yours,the oyster.
You can do as much as you want,you can reach for the stars and
you can just like keep addingmore to your plate.
There's no limit.
The limit is limitless.
So that's where I got confused,because once it started growing
and I felt like, oh, there's somuch I can be doing, like I kind
(34:43):
of put on pause the life Iwanted to live.
Like that.
I was grateful for that.
I was.
I was like, oh my gosh, like Ican be a stay at home mom and I
can bring income to the familyso that we can do cool things
and fix to what is it called?
Taps and things like one of thethings we just did.
But like it's, like that'samazing.
(35:05):
That is what I want it.
I want it to be of the hands onmom who made after school snack
and got to have breakfast everymorning with her family, like
that.
That that's the dream, that'swhat I want it.
And then I got distracted and Iwas like, okay, there's so much
opportunity out there I need toput.
(35:25):
I need to put on hold my familydreams and focus on my career
dreams like, oh my gosh, likecareer oriented.
And then it's like wait, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Then I got like six months ayear into that and got just got
confused because it's like thisisn't what I wanted.
I'm literally working harderthan I've ever worked in my life
and I am like never turning off.
(35:50):
I'm giving all of my all toeveryone in the world except for
my family, and this isn't whatI want.
No, stop, this isn't what Iwant.
I don't want to reach the, the,the money stars and the, the
world's hearts if I can't be andlive the life that I've always
(36:13):
wanted, which is to be with myfamily, to, to, to sit with them
and to, to look at them and toexperience them and to just like
live a simple, lovely life thatI've always wanted.
I know I didn't think I wasgoing to cry in this episode,
but it's like that is what Iwant.
(36:33):
I want the simplicity ofappreciating the sun shining in
the shower at a certain time ofthe day.
I want the enjoyment of sippinga slow cup of tea in the
morning in the living room withmy my husband and my daughter
and my dog on my lap, andbreathing in that.
That moment of peace.
That is what I want, and so Istepped back, I stopped putting
(37:05):
so much pressure myself to haveto post so much and to have to
participate in this hustleculture that everyone can
participate in, that is so bigin this world that we live in,
but especially on social media,because it's like, it's so funny
because, like, honestly, thosestats don't even matter, like
(37:26):
views, like stuff like that alot of the time, don't don't
even matter when it comes tolike brand deals and
partnerships, which is the onlyway that I make money as a
Canadian content creator.
We don't make money except foron YouTube.
You do make some creator fundsor whatever it's called, I don't
even know but like on Instagramand tick tock, like you don't
make money for views, so everyvideo you post is just for fun,
(37:50):
z's and building community andbuilding engagement, which then,
in return, that brands will seeand get to know you and then if
you have an engagement they'relooking for in a community, then
they'll reach out to you or youreach out to them or whatever
it all works out.
But that's how you make moneyas a Canadian content creator.
So, anyways, so I was puttingthat out there as a side, but
(38:11):
like I just took a step back andwas like I can't be throwing
myself in every direction andnot be literally living the life
that I want to be living.
And so I refocused, reset,turned in.
It took time, it took time, ittook a lot of time to break that
(38:35):
feeling for being not enough.
And I get caught in it stillsometimes and I think I always
will.
But I now know how to kind ofpull myself out of it and I put
in place like things to help meto not get, to not put myself in
that situation, but like it'sreally easy to not feel enough
in life in general.
And then on social media, you Idon't know, when you feel like
(38:59):
you're not getting as much asanother person, like the
comparison game or then feelingwhat's the other one?
When you imposter syndrome,like all of this stuff, it's
just so easy to get caught up init.
And so I just like I didn't stopposting altogether, but I like
just took a break and now I takeway more breaks when I or I
take breaks when I want to, likeI don't feel the need to have
(39:22):
to post every day, definitelynot every day.
And I don't feel the need tohave to post if I would normally
post, then because I do think,like when I show up, I want to
show up the way that I want toshow up, and I now really try to
understand that.
Like a lot of the time, commentsections are not for me,
they're for the people,especially when the comments are
(39:42):
like something, something her,like they're talking about me,
but not too meek, and then it'slike, okay, I don't need to read
these comments, they're not forme, they're for other people,
and it's not a, it's not part,I'm not part of the conversation
.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Anyways, I just like realized,like what is it that I want?
Like I want to be sitting withthe ones I love and have that
(40:08):
flexibility to be able to showup and help them and be where I
need to be when I need to be,but also to have the flexibility
to join a dance class.
If I want to join a dance class, hint, I may be joining a dance
class this year, but like Iwant to have flexibility to do
things for me, to do things formy family and to bring income to
(40:30):
help supplement in ways that weneed income.
So, like I just I was I want tocreate a perfect situation for
me, but I don't want to reachfor the stars in the sense that
I want to work any harder than Idid at a standard nine to five,
but I never actually worked astandard.
Well, I guess I worked a nineto five shortly, but like when I
(40:51):
worked before after school you,anyways, you understand what I
mean but like when I worked in anine to five versus working for
myself, like what is it thatI'm looking for?
And I now have so much clarityabout that.
So, going into this year, I amso focused and I am so
(41:13):
appreciative.
In any moment where I feel likeI'm not enough, I think who's
saying I'm not enough?
What am I not enough for?
And it's like I am enough.
I am more than enough.
I have created a life that Iwant and I am living in it and I
am appreciative and I'm sograteful to be here.
So like there's nothing that isnot enough.
And who I?
(41:35):
The opinions of others and theperceptions do not matter to me.
Your other people's opinionsare their own, they're their own
, they're none of my business.
None of my business.
So, anyways, this week Ilearned and I have started to
implement and that gratitude forthe life that I want and for
(41:56):
the clarity I gained last yearand have brought it into this
year as my focus, and I am sograteful for that, and I am just
feeling so empowered by that.
And every day I wake up toslowness, and I appreciate that
because I feel like I lived alife of speed for a long time,
(42:17):
of always feeling like I need todo more, be more, see more, and
now it's like I just wanna bestill and I just wanna live so
authentically in the moment.
Why am I crying again aspossible?
I have no problem with crying.
It's just like, wow, I'mclearly talking truth right now,
but I just wanna live so in themoment that the world feels
(42:47):
slow, and that's how I feelright now and I'm so grateful
for that.
And so let me take a sip.
And so, on that note, I am sograteful for all of you who
support me through this and showup weekly and comment and like
(43:11):
and share my stuff, because itreally does mean so much to me.
And also like I'm just sograteful for you when every time
I run into a cutie on thestreet or in my DMs, I am just
like, oh, these are my people.
We vibe, we mesh, we get eachother.
It feels so effortless and I amso grateful for that.
That's another thing that Ihave focused on.
It's like when I post onlinepeople who don't like my stuff,
(43:36):
whatever, but the people who getit get it and I am so grateful
for that community and likefollowers come and go and it's
like the ones who stick aroundand get it Like they are the
best, you are the best, andthose are the only people I want
in my life Like get thenegativity out of here Bye-bye.
So, anyways, this week Ilearned that I'm slow, I'm still
(44:02):
and I love living this littlelife of mine.
I hear that's a scrinch song.
Now.
There's like a trend on TikTokthat little lava man where
everyone like puts like picturesto it and like at first it was
so cute and now everyone likehates it.
I don't really get it on myfeed.
I don't really scroll that muchon TikTok anymore, but that's a
story for another day.
But anyways, let's get into ourroses, buds and thorns.
(44:25):
Okay, my rose is quiet.
Early evenings with the family.
I feel like I put focus on thisat the end of last year that I
just like really love theslowdown.
Like as soon as that.
I normally rogue it's home fromschool around four, like that's
(44:46):
when we really get in for theevening, like we're in the house
, we're in for the evening.
That's really been my favoritetime, and like even more so now,
especially that she's back atschool.
Who's only had one one night,two nights of that.
But I just love those quietearly evenings with the family.
Like I guess when we were homefor Christmas break she was
taking her naps and then wakingup around like 233 and then we'd
(45:10):
have like snack time, play time, and then we'd really get quiet
and chill and just everyonekind of Play and hang out and
read books and make dinner andcook together.
Oh I love it, I just love it.
I love it.
You turn all the lamps, get themood light in and it's just so
cozy.
We're actually saying goodbyeto our Christmas tree this week
(45:31):
because that's our pickup is onFriday for Christmas trees and I
keep thinking it's every week.
Every Friday I'm like, oh mygosh, is it the Christmas tree
pickup?
And then Trevor's like no, it's, it's like on the 11th or the
12th or the 13th or whatever,but it's in January.
So this is the, this is theweek that it's happening, and
it's so funny because for awhile I was like, oh, get this
thing out of here.
It's it's cluttering up myspace.
(45:52):
But now I'm like I'm gonna missthe ambiance of it.
But we have put in a lot of funsmart bulbs that like change
all these different colorsrecently and it's so fun, I love
it.
You can set the mood to likeall these different lights.
It's so fun.
Anyway, so quiet, early eveningswith the family or my bud, for
sure, like I get so excited forit, like I really do.
So I try to get everything Ineed to get done, work wise this
(46:16):
is another part of me, likefocusing and not over expend,
not over extending myselfWorkwise, and it's like I want
to get all my work done before Ipick up row and then I go into
full mom mode and family modeand it feels so, so, so good.
I just love it, love, love itso much.
Okay, my thorn is my lower backwas just aching so much.
(46:39):
It's actually okay now.
I stretched this morning butlike I think it's also I'm on my
period, so that probably has todo with it.
But my lower back ever sinceI've had row, my lower back has
just been it's my number oneplace to just ache.
If I'm ever Standing for toolong or doing dishes at the sink
, or even just like in themiddle of the night, it's like
it just starts aching and it'slike, oh, but Trevor did get me
(46:59):
one of those beanbaggy thingsthat you heat up.
So I heat that up before bedand put it on and then in the
morning I try to stretch it, dosome cat cows, and that does
help, but it's just like makingme and then my bud I kind of
hinted to this earlier is that Iam taking up adult ballet class
(47:19):
this winter and I'm so excitedso that starts next week.
I actually went and got all mylittle ballet uniform, which was
so fun.
I was really intimidated to godo that because I don't know.
I feel like I don't know muchabout dance.
I took ballet when I was really, really little, so I would have
had no part of like the Knowing, the what was going on or how
(47:42):
people's opinions were orwhatever.
But like I feel like now I seenlike dance mums before, or
whatever.
I just I don't.
I didn't know what it was gonnabe like, but it was so nice,
the woman who worked there wasso nice and she got me my little
slipper set out and she helpedme pick out an outfit and she
was getting me all hyped fortaking it and I was so excited.
So, yeah, um, I it's pushing mereally out of my comfort zone.
(48:02):
I used to do bar Back when welived in Toronto and I loved bar
and Pilates and stuff.
So I know bar has a lot ofsimilarities to, obviously, the
bar portion of ballet and sodoing plies and all that stuff.
So I have a little bit of thatto feel comfortable about.
But other than that, I'm reallypushing myself out of my
(48:24):
comfort zone but I'm reallyexcited.
So, yeah, I'm really lookingforward to picking up a new
hobby and trying somethingdifferent and for me so that's
really really exciting.
Okay, entertainment,entertainment, rika.
Entertainment, rika.
Okay, so I went and saw that.
See a Sweeney Sweeney.
(48:44):
What's the Sydney Sweeney moviein theaters?
What is it called?
Sydney Sweeney?
It was.
It was the new rom-com.
This is my issue, as I neverknow the name of anything.
Oh, anyone, but you, okay.
So I had seen a.
We went and saw.
What did we go and see?
Oh, we went and saw not the,the new Totoro movie.
(49:05):
It wasn't Totoro, but it's bythe same person.
Something hair in, oh,something hair in hair, in the
boy in the hair.
And so we went to saw the boyin the hair in with row and it
was good.
It was a very interesting movie, like I liked it at the.
It was long, it did feel longbut I did like it row.
(49:27):
She like kind of got boredhalfway through but she still
enjoyed and watched it.
We didn't have to leave heranything but she was definitely
like happy to be moving aroundand like the little seats and
stuff.
So but I did enjoy it.
But anyway we went to go seethat.
I saw a poster for the anyonebut you and I saw the poster and
I was like, oh, that maybe.
I was like, is it a romance?
(49:48):
I couldn't tell and then Ididn't know if it was a rom-com.
And then I got a tick talk thatsaid, hey, this is why I'm
looking forward to the anyonebut you, or this is why I feel
like it'll be promising as arom-com.
And then they kind of went intowhy and I was like, oh, okay, I
do love a rom-com.
And I was like, okay, maybeI'll go see that.
So I did go see it as like asolo movie, which you know I
love.
Gotta bring back my Friday solomovie dates.
(50:08):
That's my favorite.
So I did go see it and it was.
It was so cute I don't thinkyou have to see it in theater
like it's definitely like cheesybut very cute and it was an
enjoyable morning.
Like I'm happy I did watch it.
So that was a good one and I'mreally looking forward to being
girls, the musical coming out.
(50:29):
I think that comes out next week.
I'm so excited.
I want to see that.
Maybe it comes out this week onFriday, I don't even know, but
anyways, I'm so excited thatcould be my Friday movie this
week.
Let's see mean girls.
Here we go.
It comes out January 12,.
(50:49):
Okay, mean girls, let me gocheck my theater to see if it's
gonna be there.
I'm like, what theater do I goto?
Cute, we're bringing back theFriday movies.
Yay, okay, here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
What is today?
Today's the ninth, it doesn'tsay what day.
Oh, yeah, it is gonna be there.
Okay, maybe we're gonna go seeyou that on Friday.
(51:11):
That'll be so fun.
I'm so excited.
I think my mom wanted to see it, so I have to see if she's
available Friday morning,hopefully.
We also went and saw migration,which was so cute.
I did really like migration andwe did see trolls.
I can't remember if that wasbefore the break or not, but we
did see trolls as well.
We've seen all the kids movies.
I just love trolls.
(51:32):
We've had the trolls soundtrackon like repeat and I Haven't
seen Wonka yet.
I do want to see Wonka.
Trevor wants to see Wonka butwe didn't.
I couldn't tell Rowan it to seeit or not.
She's never usually like a liveaction.
She really likes cartoons, so Iwasn't sure.
But I'm gonna ask her again tosee if she wants to see it or
(51:52):
not.
But I hear really good thingsabout it, so I'm excited for
Wonka.
I don't know if we'll see it intheater or wait until after,
but I could add it to my Fridayrotation, depending.
I feel like sometimes thesemovies like go through the
theater so quickly I don't havethe opportunity to see them.
As for shows, I am watchingYoung Sheldon, which is just
such a cute, comforting show,and I'm watching the other one
(52:14):
on Netflix called Life with kids.
Always ruin kids, ruin life,kids, what's it called?
Children ruin everything.
Kids ruin everything.
Kids ruin Everything.
Yeah, oh no, children ruineverything.
So it's actually a Toronto BayCTV show.
It's kind of like Moms, butlike different, like.
(52:37):
It's not like moms, but it'skind of like moms because it's a
Toronto Bay show and it's aboutkids and like Realisticness of
them and I actually love it.
The episodes are really short.
They're like 20 minutes long.
It's three seasons.
You go through it super quick.
But it's a nice show to throwon if you want to like eat, eat
lunch with a meal, eat lunchwith meal, eat lunch with the
(52:57):
show or just have a chill for acouple episodes.
You know, just like chill out,but not like commit it, commit
it.
But it's so cute and I thinkit's really good.
I think it's a really goodrepresentation of like
parenthood and why sometimesit's just like the wildest, like
most unenjoyable thing, but atthe end of the day you love it
so much and like you would missit if you didn't have it, so
(53:18):
like I really love it.
I think it's a really good one.
So it's called children ruineverything and that one's on
Netflix.
And then I'm trying to thinkwhat else there was that
Victoria one, white Victoria,white queen, white princess?
I don't remember.
Obviously I'm not watching itvery well.
Becca's back to school, sowe're back to watching righteous
gemstones.
We're on the newest season andthis most recent episode.
(53:39):
Like we're behind the times,but this most recent episode was
so wild, so righteous gemstonesis such a good one.
If you're looking for a good HBOcomedy and I'm trying to think
of what else I watched Belowdeck is back this week.
I'm gonna catch up on thatepisode.
And then I think winter houseshould start soon, which I'm so
excited.
I don't know when it starts,but I know it's in 2024, but I
(54:03):
love or not winter house, summerhouse Sorry, I finished winter
house, but yeah, that's it.
That's pretty much all I'mwatching.
Oh, and I did see there was anew Ginny in Georgia, but I'm
not sure when that's from.
I think I only watched oneseason, so that's another
Netflix one that I need to watchis Ginny in Georgia, but I'm
gonna finish this children roomand everything first and then
I'll watch that.
And then for new music honestly,they don't think there's any
(54:24):
new music I'm listening tobesides the troll troll's album,
which we've listened to onrepeat and we did go through a
crazy frog phase, but roadusually has like a three week
phase and then we move on.
So we our most recent phase hasbeen veggie tails, then crazy
frog and now we're on to trolls.
So I'm excited to see what'snext.
But that's pretty much it.
And I've been listening toburner phone the podcast with
(54:45):
Hannah burner and her husband,and I'm loving it.
Like it's such a comfort, sucha comfort podcast.
I listened to like all the oldepisodes I mean that they only
started it last year but theyjust like changed Hannah's
podcast into it.
But over the break I would likedid unplayed and like listen to
all of them.
I just love their relationshipand the way that they
(55:05):
communicate and they're bothcomedians and I love when they
like Create jokes and like onthe spot and like they both like
hype each other up.
It's really sweet.
So burner phone podcast ifyou're looking for a podcast,
and yeah, so that's where we'reat.
Cuties.
Welcome back to season four offive years time podcast.
(55:26):
I'm your host, grace, I'm sograteful that you are here and I
can't wait to see you here, andI can't wait for what the year
ahead of us has and I'm lookingforward to seeing if it's still
snowing out, sending you loveand light for the week ahead.
Mwah, mwah Mwah.
See you on Instagram and tiktokand for my weekly vlog over on
YouTube at five years timepodcast.
(55:47):
Love you, cute you.
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