December 13, 2023 • 48 mins
Imagine a holiday season filled with heartfelt conversations, delicious recipes, and personal growth – welcome to the 12 days of Podmas by Five Years Time! We're diving headfirst into this festive series, connecting over shared experiences of joy, nostalgia, and sometimes, loneliness that the holidays stir up. Together, we're embracing the rollercoaster of seasonal emotions, sharing stories of overcoming self-doubt, fostering relationships and, of course, some delightful festive recipes.
Ever experienced that pang of self-doubt, or found it hard to assert your authentic self? We've all been there. In this Podmas series, we address the elephant in the room - societal gender biases and their impact on self-worth and communication. As we unwrap our gifts of vulnerability, we'll journey together, exploring strategies to overcome insecurities and embrace our true selves.
But there's more! We're seasoning this series with a sprinkle of nostalgia as we share our favourite holiday recipes. First up is Hello Dollies a childhood favourite that's sure to bring back memories and inspire new traditions. So, buckle up and join me, whether you're baking cookies, wrapping gifts, or sipping a warm cup of hot cocoa, let’s add a dash of connection, reflection, and celebration to your holiday season.
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- Grace
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hey, cuties, welcome back to Five Years Time podcast
with your host, grace.
I'm so excited that you'vejoined us.
It is Wednesday today, whichmeans, duh, it's Five Years Time
day.
We're releasing a new episodeof the podcast.
But did you hear that intro?
Hmm, what have I had up mysleeve?
(00:29):
Well, cuties, welcome to 12days of podmas Dun-dun-dun-dun.
I've been working very hard,and continue to do so, for the
rest of December Well, not therest of December, okay, I spoke
too quick there Until Christmasto release an episode every day
for my cutes.
(00:51):
This time of year for me can befull of so many different
emotions and, as you know, hereat Five Years Time, we're all
about embracing the highs andthe lows to bring us the joy and
beauty that life has.
It is an adventure and I findthat this time of year can be
really, really, reallyrollercoaster-rific and every
(01:13):
year is a little bit differentas we process.
Well, at least for myself, assomeone who celebrates Christmas
and embraces this time and canonly speak from the obvious
perspective of my life, I'm hereto share and help us process
and all the emotions that comealong with the Christmas holiday
(01:36):
and this time of year.
I have always been quite aperson of reflection and
introspection and I realized somany different things about this
season.
As a kid.
It was a repetition, it felttraditional.
It felt the same feelings mostyears.
(01:57):
As I entered into my older teenyears and adult life, I
realized that Christmas holds somuch different weight in my
life and that it has been arollercoaster of what's this
year going to bring.
Where is my headspace going tobe at?
(02:18):
How am I going to feel thisChristmas?
Is it going to be exciting andmagic?
Is it going to be sad?
Is it going to be lonely?
Is it going to feel full oflove?
Is it going to feel a littlebit empty?
This year, we are going to beprocessing all of this together
(02:40):
leading to the 12 days ofChristmas.
So thanks for joining me.
I'm so excited to hop in andI'm super excited for this
series, this little time.
I'm so excited that I get tospend the 12 days leading up to
Christmas with you, because it'sjust going to be so fun.
What 12 episodes in a row oh mygosh, cute.
(03:04):
Thanks for joining Five YearsTime.
If you're not following onInstagram, go hit us up over
there.
If you're not following onTikTok, you can find us
everywhere at Five Years TimePodcast.
Okay, cuties, each episode isgoing to have a theme
surrounding something that Ifelt within my heart I wanted to
talk about, and today, kickingoff 12 days of podmas, I really
(03:27):
want to talk about thankfulness,because I am, honestly,
endlessly thankful for all ofthe cuties, for this space that
we've created and for thisoutlet that I have in my life.
I, as you know, have wanted topartake in podcasting for so, so
long before I started.
Can you believe we're coming tothe end of our third year of
(03:49):
Five Years Time?
That is just wild.
As we wrap up this end of season, I just have so much to reflect
on about how grateful I am tobe here and sharing with you.
I just first wanted to startoff by saying that this past
year, you have given me so muchgrace.
(04:10):
I feel like anytime I say grace, I always am like because my
name's Grace, but anyways, youhave given me so much grace this
year, working through my bigfeelings and my thoughts
regarding my life and my timespent online.
I feel like this year hasreally, really been the year of
(04:31):
almost stepping back andallowing myself space to breathe
and understand what I want formy future and for my day to day,
and what is the reason foreverything Like why have I
chosen to switch career pathsand take an online approach and
(04:55):
work for myself, and why, whydid I do that and why and how do
I want to continue to supportwhat my dream for my life was?
It's so easy to get carriedaway and taken and swept up in
all of this, especially in thisonline world, because, honestly,
you can do anything you want.
It's like you have the abilityand power to change your life
(05:19):
for how you want it to be, andthe ability to work online and
for yourself and use socialplatforms to create revenue and
income for your family or yourpersonal life is amazing.
It is a powerful thing, and itis so easy to get lost in why
you want it to do that For me.
I want it.
Flexibility, I want it.
(05:40):
I want it the ability to bepresent in Rose's life as much
as possible, not even just inher young life, but moving
forward into the future.
I want to be as present aspossible.
I grew up in a family where Ihad a single mom who worked lots
(06:02):
, and I love my mom like oh mygosh two at death, of course,
but I never had that and she wasamazing.
This has nothing to do with her, and this is what I always feel
like I need to not feel like myopinion is a reflection of
anybody else in my life.
Anyways, I always wondered whatit would be like to have the
(06:25):
mom who was able to I don't knowjust be there or be home sick.
If you're home, they are ableto be home sick with you.
Or, oh my gosh.
I always say to Roe you've gotthis luxury life, girl, you get
to lay in not that she sleeps in, we wake up early, but lay in
and chill out in the morning.
We don't have to get up andrush.
(06:45):
I was a before and after schoolkid.
I was there the second, thedoor opened for before and after
and I was the last one there atthe end of the night.
I love how that shaped my life.
It's a huge reason why I endedup working as an ECE and doing
before and after school, becauseI absolutely valued that part
of my life and, that being said,roe always wants to be in the
(07:06):
before and after school program.
Whenever she sees the kidsgoing to the gym, she's like I
want to do that and I'm likegirl.
I know it's so fun, but alsothere is a beauty in me getting
to be part of Roe's life as muchas I possibly can.
That's where I feel my heartdrawn is to have that
flexibility and that time withher, because time is forever
(07:28):
just flying, literally so much.
I also have the perspective ofhaving my dad, who passed away
at a young age he was only 50and I was only 15 and I feel in
my heart that could happen atany time.
It really can, and I feel likeI know the reality of how fast
(07:51):
death can come upon us,especially that being a sudden
death in my life.
Of course, if you want to hearmore about that, you can check
out my Journey with Greethepisode, greeth episode.
But I feel like I struggle topush past those feelings inside
(08:14):
of me where I am so ever awarethat I try not to put what is it
called Value into numbers in somany ways in my life, but
especially in age.
But I can't shy away fromtelling you that I have been
(08:36):
feeling this overwhelming feelever since I turned 30,
understanding that I'm 30 andI'm not saying this is going to
happen, I'm only ever trying toput out good things into the
world.
But my dad was 50.
That's 20 years from now.
But if I was passed away 20years from now, what do I want
(08:56):
to do in those 20 years?
And the thing is, it could beeven sooner, it could be even
later, of course, but I justhave this feeling in my soul, in
my heart, where I'm trying toshake it off as not a negative
feeling or a projection intowhat I'm bringing into me, but
in more, I'm trying to turn mymind into thinking what is it
(09:18):
that I want from this world,this precious life that I have
and these precious people in mylife?
Also, just a little side noteif you're watching on YouTube,
look, I got my Christmas mug forour 12 days of Podmas.
But I just feel like I havebeen exploring all these
(09:43):
thoughts so deeply and so alittle bit too much.
Maybe I don't think too much,necessarily, but I'm really
trying to formulate and figureout how to Like, how do I and
share that my thoughts staypositive in Projection into my
life, because I really do thinkthat our thoughts have power and
(10:03):
I am a positive person Overall,but like I can't shy away from
the fact that, like, these arefeelings I've been having and
they're very big, and so youhave given me so much space to
Think about this, and like therehave been weeks where I just
like One yes, we've gotten busy,life's gotten ahead of me, I
have run out of, I don't havetime, or We've been not feeling
(10:25):
well, but then I find, in thosemoments when I slow down is when
I really have the time to like,think through and process these
emotions, and then they feelbig and overwhelming and I'm not
prepared to talk about them.
I'm not prepared to talk aboutanything else because that's
consuming me.
And so I'm trying to findbalance and and I am so grateful
that you have given me spacethis year to take breaks from
(10:47):
the podcast when I need, and Toallow me to just work through
this stuff, because I honestlycan't come here and share my
thoughts and my feelings withyou If I am not in a good
headspace.
When I do, I feel veryemotional, emotionally
vulnerable afterwards, and whatdo they call it?
(11:09):
Like an emotional hangover of,of Share hangover.
What is it?
When you like, I don't know,but like I do, I always want to
come here and shareauthentically and open and Give
you what I have to offer, but atthe same time like I'm not
ready to talk about somethingand I Try and process it here
(11:29):
first.
That can feel like a lot to meand it can feel too much and I
don't necessarily want that Ronis out in the world like I'd
like a little bit of Feeling andthought that I've put into it
first, if that makes sense.
Like just it's not even afilter, it's just like sometimes
(11:51):
I come here and I say somethingand it's like, oh, I didn't
even know, that's what I wasthinking.
And Now I'm trying to share myemotions with you in a very
public environment and it justfeels a little overwhelming
afterwards and then I feel Notregret but like anxiousness and
(12:12):
I don't want that.
So it's been a balance.
It's been a balance trying tofigure it all out and I'm so
happy that I get to come hereand process those feelings with
you after I have the initialrealization, which is why we do
this week I learned where I'mable to come after I've done a
little bit of reflection on myweek and and then process how
(12:33):
I've learned from whatever thelesson of the week is and
there's always so many differentlessons and I'm I'm always
happy to share them.
Obviously, this is literallywhat my podcast is about, but it
does mean so much when you slipinto my DMs and and come and
comment on a video or whateverand say like, hey, this is how
(12:53):
I've been feeling or oh, you'vemade me feel so much less alone
and that Makes me feel so muchless alone and that is the whole
reason for this podcast.
So we are kicking it off withbank thankfulness and my gift to
you, because I do believe thebest form of gift giving is
sharing the gifts that you havebeen graced with, and for me, I
(13:15):
I do believe that one of mygifts is sharing vulnerability
and and Openness with people,and so I'm so glad that I can
can use a platform likepodcasting to Broadcast that to
a larger audience than just theimmediate people in my life.
And so this year, my gift toyou is our 12 days of podmas
(13:38):
where we're just gonna workthrough the holiday times
together and All of the emotionsthat that comes, that come
along with that.
So, yeah, yeah, I'm so excitedso I didn't really get to speak
on my set, but I I've Transformthe studio a bit.
(13:59):
We have my Christmas mug and Ithink I'm just gonna wear this
red sweater for every episode Irecord because it's my like
holiday fun sweater.
I do have one other red sweater.
I was thinking I was like, oh,should I go through my closet
and figure out like 12 differentfun holiday looks?
But like, realistically I don'tthink I have 12 fun different
(14:21):
holiday looks, but maybe I'lllike try switching up Less
accessories like a bow orsomething I don't know.
But like then I was like maybeit'll just be a staple, look,
I'll come with my sweater andthat'll be my fun festive
funness.
But anyways, I also have thisamazing pillow which I actually
got at home.
Since earlier this season it'sbeen sitting on our couch.
I borrowed it for our setbecause, you know, re is reduced
(14:43):
, recycle and I really don'tthink you need to go out and buy
new things Every year or at all.
So, yes, this is my fun holidayski pillow and I've added this
fun print which has Festivebaking going on.
So there's some recipe cards andI think, like some I wanted to
(15:06):
say Holly, but I don't know butanyways, some Some evergreen
with red berries and just likethe cute baking of Christmas.
So I think that's so fun andI'm just excited to be here To
celebrate the holidays with you.
That being said, I would loveto know what the holidays mean
(15:27):
to you.
If you could send me a DM ormessage me email me if you don't
use social media at FyT pod Atgmailcom I had to think about
what my email was, but I Wouldlove to know what the holidays
mean to you and maybe liketraditions you share.
Oh, maybe I'll put a questionbox on Instagram, but I would
(15:48):
just love to know more aboutwhat this time of the year means
to you, so that I don't feellike I'm just sharing Open
endlessly and not getting toknow you as well, because we're
really gonna get down and dirtythis holiday season and just
like break it all down.
I feel like Sometimes, or a lotof the times, or I think for
myself, going into the, into theholidays as an adult, I, I
(16:12):
there was like times where itjust felt so empty and lonely
and like I Almost just let it bethat I thought like that's just
what it is.
Obviously, now I have a kid andlike that makes it
automatically a little bit morefun and magical, but still, like
for myself, there was that timewhere I just those years where
it was like what am I missing,what is missing, and I I Chose
(16:37):
to then eventually dig down andnot just feel, like me, the
holiday season is sad or lonely,and figure out what it was and
like how I could a fix, fix thatand take control, and so that
we will be talking a lot aboutthat later on this week or next.
Oh my gosh, cute we have somany weeks together but yeah, so
(17:00):
I I also want to tell you thisis kind of like a good
housekeeping episode in thesense of explaining a lot about
how this series is Gonna work.
But every day we are gonna havea festive recipe.
So it's gonna be a recipe thatI, specifically in my life, have
learned along the way fromloved ones that have been a big
(17:21):
part of the holidays for me, andI am going to share that recipe
.
I'll let you know here whatit's gonna be, and then I will
post a video on Tiktok andInstagram and I don't think I
can post it on YouTube shorts,probably, but maybe I think I
can post it like on YouTube.
I think you can do a long form.
(17:42):
I videos not long form, butlike stand up videos.
I think you can post thoseactually on YouTube now, because
I won't film it horizontally,that'll just like it's too much,
but I just want to make itaccessible for as many people as
possible, depending on whatplatform you listen to me on or
follow me on or use in yourdaily life.
(18:04):
But yes, I'm going to post avideo and they're going to be
savory, they're going to besweet, they're going to be
everything in between, butspecial dishes that have come
into my life and are juststaples.
So we'll be sharing 12 recipesfor the 12 days.
That's going to be so fun.
I guess I can tell you whattoday's recipe is going to be.
But we're going to kick off theseason with Hello Dolly's, which
(18:27):
I have shared about in multipleplaces.
I've shared on my TikTok andI've definitely shared in one of
my vlogs.
But Hello Dolly's are like mychildhood staple.
When I think of any holidayfunction, it's Hello Dolly's,
but definitely around theChristmas time it is such a big
part of my upbringing.
I feel like there's so manydifferent names that people call
(18:47):
them and different ways thatpeople layer them, but I have my
way that my mom taught me that,I just think is absolute
perfection and the way thatthey're layered.
So I'm so excited to share thatthis is going to be one of the
best recipes that I can give toyou, which is why we're starting
off with it.
Because, one, it is so easy.
(19:08):
Anyone can do it, likeliterally anyone.
It is so, so easy.
Two, they're pantry staples, inthe sense that they might not
be staples to you right now, but, like, if you make them and
love them, they will be pantrystaples.
You will always keep I alwaysdo have on hand at least one of
like all of the things that youneed, because it's a few layers,
(19:32):
but like all of these thingsyou can keep in your house all
year round.
Like nothing is perishable.
You can keep your nuts in thefreezer, you can keep a butter
in the freezer and theneverything else you can keep in
your pantry and you will alwayshave this on hand.
A trick up your sleeve, I tellyou these Hello Dolly's are
because, one, they're so easy to, you will always have them on
(19:52):
hand, the ingredients on hand.
And three, it is just like thecrowd pleaser of crowd pleasers,
like everyone loves HelloDolly's, except for the coconut
haters out there.
But like even I've had peoplecomment on my video being like I
hate coconut.
And then people will be like Ihate coconut too, but I love
(20:13):
Hello Dolly's.
Like, ultimately, you canliterally sub anything you want,
but then they become whateveryou want to call them.
But like, they are so freakinggood, everyone loves them,
everyone will ask you to makethem and the fact that they are
just so easy, oh, they are theultimate, the ultimate holiday
(20:33):
baked good.
It's like what is it calledholiday baked good?
But I am so excited.
So go over to any of thoseplatforms I just said, basically
all my social media.
I will link it in the shownotes too and I will show you
how to make it.
I will share all theingredients and measurements and
recipe, all of that stuff, andwe are going to have the best
(20:56):
time ever, like seriously, evenjust for yourself.
And the beauty of them mostbaked goods in general is that
you can freeze them and thenjust have them at any point.
So just make them.
Just make them.
If you're not going to eat themall within a day or two.
Freeze them and then you areliterally going to be in heaven.
When you're just like in thatmood for some sweet.
You can pull it out, let it sitat room temperature for a bit,
(21:18):
oh life.
But yeah, hello Dollies are sogood.
Trevor's going to be so excitedbecause, like, I have nowhere
I'm going, but I'm making aHello Dollies, so we are just
going to have a huge tray andit's going to be amazing.
Oh, I can't wait.
Okay, cuties.
(21:43):
On a separate note, there'ssomething I've been wanting to
talk about recently and I justlike I actually never, I don't
think I realized that this wassomething that I was worried
about or have feeling in my headUntil I saw it, and then it was
like I was reminded ofsomething that I felt when I was
(22:03):
younger, when, especially whenI was like a teenager and into
my early 20s.
So recently, amber Fillerup hadshared a thought.
She was on a podcast and thenshe had shared to her stories a
thought about when she relistens to anytime she's like in
an interview situation on apodcast on someone else's
(22:25):
platform, she'll like listen tothe episode back and then she'll
feel like, oh, why did I say itthat way?
Or like, hurry up, you'retaking so long.
Like she just like is rushingherself, being so negative,
feeling like why would anybodyyou want to listen to what she
has to say.
And it's like I heard that, Iread that and then I was like,
(22:48):
oh my gosh, is that why I talkso fast?
I'm sure that's not a newthought to you, but I do talk
fast.
But I also feel like that'sbecause I'm someone who just
like, has endless things to say.
Sure, there's times I like tobe quiet and like be with myself
lots of times, all the time.
But, like, if I'm put in asituation where I can share and
(23:10):
I feel in the mood to share,like I have lots of stuff to say
and I feel like I definitelyprocess my thoughts out loud,
and so I think that is onereason that I talk so quickly.
But then, all of a sudden, Irealized, like, is that why it's
so tough for me sometimes tolike sit down and record the
podcast?
(23:30):
Even today, before I was goingto sit down, I have been so
excited about this series.
I had the idea of doing 12episodes and I got so excited.
I was like, oh my gosh, thecuties are going to love this.
It's going to be so fun, it'sgoing to be a great way to share
my gift around the holiday timeand I just like think it'll be
(23:53):
a really good exercise for me topractice podcasting more often
and like as opposed to doinglike week to week episodes and
just like digging deeper into my, my soul and my thoughts and
sharing more.
Like I was just like reallyexcited about it, like so
(24:15):
excited and that's somethingthat happens all the time in my
creative process.
Like I have a thought, I get soexcited about it, I think
everything through, like I Ilike create a full action plan
all in my mind at once, and thebest thing I can do when I have
a creative thought is to writeit down right away.
For so many things andsituations, like for so long I
(24:35):
always thought like oh, remember, remember.
And then I never do.
Like you always think in themoment like I'm going to
remember this, and then I neverdo like really I don't.
And then years later I'm likeoh yeah, and so like the best
thing I can do is write it down.
And when I get in like thosecreative sparks like that where
I really create a whole entireplan, it's like just write it
down, get it down on paper.
(24:57):
And this is where I become myworst enemy.
I like stop myself in my tracksand I think, oh, before I even
write down, like I've come upwith a whole concept.
And before I even write it down, I'm like, oh, you know what.
Like why did I even think thatwas a good idea?
Like nobody is going to carewhat I have to say, nobody's
(25:19):
going to want to listen to 12days in a row of episodes.
And like one of the biggestthoughts that I had had when I
first did it was, like there'salways that lull around the
holiday time where people go onvacation and take time off,
obviously to spend time withfamily, and just like take their
end of year break.
And I always feel like that'swhen I am really looking for a
(25:45):
podcast to have so I can go onmy walks every day where I've
slowed down, where I have timeto really embrace and take time
and listen.
And it's like, oh, this wouldbe amazing.
If I do these 12 episodes, youdon't even have to listen to
them.
Obviously, you don't have tolisten to them every day.
You could save them for afterthat time between Christmas and
New Year's, like even later on,but like they'll just be there
(26:10):
and like if someone wants tolisten to them, there'll be
extra content for them toconsume when sometimes there's a
little bit of a content lull.
But like that was one of mybenefits.
In my mind I was like, oh yeah,and then I was like, why?
And then I stopped myselfbecause I was like, oh, nobody
cares, like who, they're goingto be annoyed.
It's going to be annoying, like, but why do I think it's going
to be annoying?
(26:30):
Why do I think that aboutmyself?
Like, why am I thinking thatI'm going to be annoying?
Because one like sure I amannoying to people that don't
get it, that don't like me, thatcome to my content, my podcast,
my anything, and only can seeme through a negative lens, and
that's fine.
(26:50):
We don't vibe, we don't geteach other.
I come off strong to you, Icome off whatever displeasing.
Actually, I had a funny commentthis past week that was like
you've changed so much.
It was on a video where I waslike so hungry and I was making
a snack plate and I was beinglike silly and like literally
that is what my content wasbuilt off of is being silly and
(27:12):
making food.
Like that is like, at the core,what my TikTok was built off of
.
And so this person was likeyou've changed so much, like
you're trying so hard, you'resuch a try hard I can't follow
you anymore, whatever.
And I was like fine, that'sfine, don't follow me.
But like I was like literally inmy mind afterwards I'm like
(27:32):
working through what I would sayto this person I never interact
like I usually never interactwith someone who is trying to
like, especially in that case,like it's like why are you
telling me this?
Like you can think that foryourself.
But like, do you want to makeme feel bad on your way out?
But like, no, you're not makingme feel bad, you're making me
understand and realize even moreso that like who I am to you as
(27:55):
a viewer is whatever you'vechosen to create about me, right
, like I can only be my mostauthentic self.
And you take bits and piecesand you create a picture in your
mind of who I am as a whole toyou.
But like you'll never reallygoing to know who I am until you
meet me and get to know me like, and even so, then, like you
(28:16):
only get to know so much, buteither way, so I was just like
this person has obviously onlyseen like a few videos of mine
and has perceived me as I don'tknow, a boring human being,
because once I one time, whenthe one time she sees a video of
me where I'm like so freakinfun, she's like you're so
(28:38):
annoying and I'm like she hasinsecurity about that and that's
too bad.
So, anyways, it's just one ofthose things where, like, I know
I'm doing something right whenpeople are, when it's polarizing
for people and people think I'mannoying or weird, especially
if they think I'm weird.
I have a whole episode where Italk about how I'm weird.
(28:59):
I love that about myself and Iam always quick to forget how
much I love that about myselfbecause it pushes people away.
But it doesn't push the rightpeople away.
It pushes the people that don'tneed to, don't need to be in my
life, because all we can do islive our most authentic self.
(29:21):
So, anyways, back to myrealization that I am hard on
myself and thinking that what Isay doesn't matter and what I
say no one should have to listento and that I don't have value
to add, and this goes so farback.
Like one, I think it's like afemale thing, like I definitely
(29:41):
think it's a male thing as well.
I'm not trying to be genderbiased, but like I do think that
like a lot of the time thatfemales are made to feel like
they're less than in theirthinking process and their
knowledge and theirunderstanding, especially like
there was a time where it waslike cool for girls to be like a
(30:02):
ditzy or dumb and or comeacross as that, like I'm not
saying.
I honestly think that evenpeople who come off across as
ditzy or dumb like they reallyaren't there.
They have something beautifulwithin them and they're
portraying themselves as onething and if you get past that,
you're going to learn more.
But anyways, I remember when Iwas in middle school, like if
(30:25):
you were like a ditzy, ditzygirl, like it was like, oh my
gosh, like that is the it girl,but what?
Because it makes guys feelsecure in themselves, because
they can come off as like oh,I'm taking care of you and don't
worry.
Like I, I know, I know like Ican help you, I can guide you.
(30:49):
Like you're not going to testme or make me feel less than at
any point not that someone beingeducated should make some, or
or articulate should make youfeel less than, but like that is
an insecurity in themselves.
Anyways, it's this whole thingand it's like I've just been
thinking about this like why doI still to this day have those
(31:10):
feelings where it's like whatI'm saying is worthless, no,
literally so much worth don'thave, don't think that you're
worthless, like?
And then when you get down intoit, it's like I'm thinking like
it's not just this shallowthing or this like level, what
(31:34):
is it?
What is it when there's likethis is not this upper, like top
layer thing, where it's justlike, oh, I don't think that
like, like I'm just saying blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, like
nobody really cares, I'm justsharing my opinion or my
thoughts.
It's not even that.
It's like you go deep down,deep down, deep down, dig, dig,
dig, dig, dig, and it's likethen you start saying
(31:57):
understanding that it's likebigger than this and that it's
an insecurity in the inside ofyou that is really affecting
like every single thing that youdo and that affected me growing
up a lot.
Like, as I was saying, in myearly or my high school years
and early 20s, I never thoughtthat I had anything good to add
(32:18):
to most conversations, like Ihad an inner circle or I had the
people, and not even innercircle, I had people in my life
who I was.
I was always came off as shyand people would tell me all the
time that that I, like theywould say that I came off as a
bitch, which I think is socommon for people who come off
(32:41):
as shy but then also have likean extra verdant side to them
that, once they feel protectedand understood and safe, they
can allow to let loose, becauseI think it comes off as like, oh
, you're so open and bubbly andcare caring with these people,
but when I'm in the room or whenI meet you or whatever, you're
(33:03):
like so standoffish and like itcomes off as not giving me the
time of day, like I truly dothink that that is like a very
common experience for a lot ofpeople who come off as shy but
have that extraverted side tothem that they're not sharing
with everyone, and so then itlike I would always feel, like I
(33:29):
still feel like that to thisday is what I'm trying to get at
is that like I never felt likeI had anything good to say.
I was not book smart, and it'snot even that I wasn't book
smart.
I didn't give myself theconfidence to allow myself to
learn and feel book smartbecause I for so long thought,
(33:49):
like my whole life I never feltlike I was in a safe environment
where I could learn to dosomething Like.
I felt like everyone around mewas always good at whatever they
were good at.
People were good at sports,people were good at reading,
people were good at all thesethings and I was never.
I never felt like I was good atit the first time I tried and
then I felt like if I was to trymore, then I was made fun of
(34:11):
like, if you want, I never gotinto any sport except for, like
independent sports that I did onmy own, like skiing and stuff
like that.
But I never got into any sportat school or in an after school
student setting because I wasn'tgood the first day I tried and
then people would make fun ofyou if you weren't good, or they
(34:32):
made fun of other people andthen so you were scared that
they were going to make fun ofyou if you were trying.
But the only way you can getbetter at something is by
practicing and trying andlearning, and that was the same
with reading.
I never thought I was good atreading and I always was so
terrified to be selected inclass when there was like you
(34:52):
know when they'd be like, okay,we're going to read this chapter
from the textbook, let's all goaround and read a three
sentences or whatever.
And I would like scan thosethree sentences like if it was
like going in order of the seats.
I would like literally do themath to figure out where my
three sentences was.
And that whole time I was notlistening to what anyone was
saying, I was just reading thosethree sentences in my mind over
and over again so that I couldlike prepare myself the amount
(35:14):
of anxiety I had over having toread those three sentences out
loud and feeling like I wasgoing to make a mistake.
It was okay, it's okay to makea mistake, but like I felt like
there were so many, theenvironment was not okay for
making mistakes, like peoplemade it feel like it wasn't and
I didn't have the understandingor confidence to push past that.
(35:35):
And it's not like I even wantedto be friends with these people
who were mean or judgmental.
It was just more of I wanted tofeel accepted and I felt like,
if I like tried at something new, that I knew that I was not, or
I just like knew that I wasn'tgoing to be perfect at I'm not,
(35:56):
I'm literally never going to beperfect at anything but I just
felt like it was in a good place.
So I silenced myself, like Iliterally just like turned
inwards and that's where myshyness came from and I just
felt like I didn't want to hearpeople's perceptions of me so I
(36:19):
didn't allow them to know me andI so I'm so happy for the
people that I did that have likeeventually let into my life and
they're still such huge partsof my life today and I think
that that's that's a benefit ofthat.
There's always a positive, butlike I'm not saying that's what
you should do, but like therewas a benefit in the sense that,
like I really was thoughtfulwith my friends, the people who
(36:43):
I accepted and felt it acceptedme, and to this day they can
still we still can just be silly, silly billies.
Like literally that's all Iwant in my life is to just be
silly and fun and just like trynew things and have conversation
and like feel like you can sayanything and it can be open and
processed and you're not goingto get me fun of and like I love
(37:07):
to like have a fun chirp moment, like let's all just like have
fun and like chirp on each otherand be sarcastic and dry, like
I love that, especially when I'min like a safe, safe setting
with people that I trust andunderstand, but like at the same
time there was a difference.
But now, moving all the wayforward into today, where I've
(37:29):
just realized this past weeklike oh my gosh, I still have
those feelings in me and now I'min this new environment, aka
we've, we've moved, we're here.
I still feel like this is a newenvironment to me.
Everywhere I go, because Ihaven't really set up roots,
like socially with people.
But I still feel like, evenwhen I'm going to pick up row or
(37:53):
going to wherever, walking downthe street or walking down the
street, anytime I'm in a socialsetting, like at church or
whatever, I always feel likenobody cares what I have to say,
like I have nothing good to say.
It's not, this is not on them,this is me, this is all me.
It's like I have nothing goodto say, so I just need to avoid
(38:15):
saying anything and I just avoidit.
And then I always think, likein my mind it's like I would
love if someone would just reachout to me and say hi, like I
would love that.
Like if someone gives me aninch, I think it might take a
mile.
I'm like, oh my gosh, let's bebest friends.
Like well, as long as the vibesare right.
But like if someone gives me aninch in a conversation or down
(38:38):
the street, like I will open upand give them so much and I like
I'm craving that.
But I get so fearful that likenobody cares, like no, I'm
bothering someone if I ask themhow their day is or have a
little bit of small talk orwhatever.
And it's like opposite, if Ithink about it flipped, it's
(38:59):
like I want someone to do thatfor me, like I would love that.
So like I need to move past myinner secure insecurities and be
able to do that for otherpeople.
So I sorry, my voice just keepsgoing in and out.
I am trying really hard,especially like to end off the
(39:20):
year because I never believe.
Like I love resolutions in thesense that I love looking back
on what your year was and whatyou would like to bring into
this year and like kind ofgiving each year like a word.
I don't even give it to a, Idon't give my years a word at
the beginning of the year.
I usually give them word at theend of the year.
This year, to sum it up, waswhatever.
And so what am I gonna takefrom this year and move into
(39:45):
next year?
And then to start it as soon asyou figure that out?
So, like, for me it's like oh,I just figured this out.
A pivoting life, bob.
So now that I figured this out,it's like I want to start now
being that energy for somebodyelse and like, take it at face
value, like I have startedsmiling to everyone.
Like no more looking down whenI'm walking, especially when
(40:08):
people are passing by me, likesay hello, say good morning,
good afternoon, if it's not asetting where you think you can
get that in a smile and I havenot received them back, like
right.
I feel like we all, a lot ofnow, we live in a world where,
like, when you pass someone onthe sidewalk, you look down,
they look down, you look away,they look away.
(40:28):
So, like, even when theperson's looking away from me,
I'm smiling, like and I'mlooking at them looking away
from me and I'm smiling becausethat is a practice that I can do
and eventually, like every sooften the person smiles back in
the year, they're saying goodmorning back.
But like, even if they don'tand it gets not a personal thing
, like they're just looking awaythey don't even notice I'm
(40:48):
smiling.
And if they do and they don'twant to smile, like whatever
it's their space, their zone,but like I'm just putting out
the energy.
I'm putting out the energy that, like, I am welcomed, I am
welcoming, I have good things tosay.
If a conversation comes fromthis we can talk.
Like I just feel like I want tobe the person that I'm looking
(41:11):
for.
Like this is I've talked aboutit this whole year for this
whole podcast that I am reallyin the mood to foster, or really
in the I have this yearning inme to foster a relationship even
I'm now realizing like evenrelationship that I already have
(41:32):
in my life, and not necessarilynew relationship, but yes, I
would love new relationship too.
Like I'm always looking forgood company.
I think that that's somethingthat's really important and can
shape us, and I don't have likea mom friend per se, so that
could be something good too aswell.
But like I think why we aspeople don't don't or feel
(41:57):
emptiness in our friendshipssometimes is because we don't
put out into the world whatwe're looking for, and I think
that's a big part of why I don't, why I feel emptiness in a lot
of ways, like in any view.
I think you can take that andput it into any category of
(42:20):
loneliness that you're feeling.
Yeah, so I think for myself,like I am looking for just good
vibes and good conversation andcomfort and connection and the
(42:42):
accessibility accessibility inthat as well and why I'm not
achieving that so easily isbecause I'm literally not
putting that out there.
Like I need to continue with mysmiling exercise, where I smile
at people.
My favorite is going on walks,because you can always get a
good morning on a walk.
But I'm really trying to pushmyself like walks and like
(43:03):
trails, I mean, but I'm reallytrying to push myself into the
sidewalk smiles where you'rejust passing by someone and you
smile or you're getting, you'regoing into the grocery store or
whatever that is.
I'm just trying to really likethe more you.
It's all about practice, right?
As I said, I was so fearfulgrowing up to push myself to try
(43:27):
something new because of whatother people would say.
But did that matter?
No, it didn't, because I haveperspective now.
So I now realize like I justneed to keep practicing, because
the only way that things canbecome a little more comfortable
is by practicing, and it'salways good to be pushing
yourself past your comfort zonebecause that's where growth
comes from.
And I am incredibly proud ofthe person that I have grown
(43:50):
into be now and I want tocontinue growing into whatever
the next Pokemon evolution of meis.
I don't really know much aboutPokemon.
I just know that they start asone thing and they turn into
something else, and the onlyreason I said that is because of
Roe is currently like obsessedwith Pokemon, because our
neighbor had Pokemon and it'sjust like the Pokemon cycle,
(44:14):
right, it always comes back whenI worked in childcare, like it
was always Beyblades and Pokemonand they always came back Like
they will always have theirmoment.
And when they do have theirmoment, it's like everyone all
in obsessed.
Beyblades and Pokemon, likethose are the two that at least
in my life I've realized.
So currently we're in a Pokemonmode.
(44:34):
Roe doesn't even know whatBeyblades are.
I think she's probably a littleyoung.
Beyblades are kind of scary too.
They can be dangerous, butanyways, that's a side tangent,
but yeah.
So that is something that I amreally working on right now and
that I've just had this hugeepiphany over this past week and
I just like can't believesometimes things, just like you
(44:56):
just see something and itliterally sparks like this huge
shift in your mindset.
Like oh my gosh, I don't thinkI have anything good to say, or
like I feel like people thinkthat what I have to say is
whatever and I feel like I haveto speak faster so that I can
get my thought out there beforesomeone wants to move on with
the conversation.
(45:16):
It's like no, like I can, I'malways gonna speak fast, like
that's how I speak, but like atthe same time I do do that when
I'm in a social setting and I'min a group, I do feel like, oh,
I gotta speak quicker becausesomeone's gonna cut me off.
It's like no, it's okay.
And also I don't mindconversation back and forth who
are like not necessarily you'recutting each other off, like I
(45:38):
know people consider it cuttingoff, but I like the conversation
where it's like I say a littlebit, then all of a sudden, and
that sparks something in you, soyou say a little bit and then
we bring it back and then blah,blah, blah.
I love that kind of conversation.
I know other people hate it,but my husband specifically,
like he hates that and it's likethat's hard for us because I
will always jump in and be like,oh my gosh, like squirrel
(45:59):
example, like you know from thatmovie.
But anyway, I say, is that upwhere it's like squirrel?
No, is that anyways?
But like I always feel like Ineed to interrupt with however
that has sparked theirconversation has sparked
something within me and Ibelieve that that's a
relatability like I'm lettingyou know, like, oh my gosh, like
I totally vibe with that,because blah, blah, blah, blah.
(46:19):
Oh yeah, like I've had asimilar experience and that's
something I have to work on toois also not doing that as much
or reading the room, but likewhen you find the people who
communicate the same way as you,it is so flawless, like it
feels so good and I loveconversations like that.
But yeah, anyways, I feel likeI just gave you so much food for
(46:41):
thought.
So, if you feel like this issomething that's been taking
over your life as well, withoutyou even realizing, I'm glad
that I was able to shed thatlight on you and I'm glad that
Amber shared that in her storybecause all of a sudden I was
like, oh what, okay, butwrapping up this episode of
(47:02):
Podmas, I was debating what weshould call it and, like you
know, vlogmas.
So I was like, okay, I'm justgonna do Podmas.
I was gonna do 12 days ofChristmas, but then I was like I
don't know if that's generaland I don't know, but we can
always workshop the title ifwe're gonna do it again or do it
for something else.
But anyways, I just reallywanted to wrap this and round
this up with letting you knowthat I am so endlessly thankful
(47:24):
for all you listeners out there.
It means so much and if youwanna review the podcast, that
would be amazing for me because,honestly, it is the like number
one way that a podcast can grow.
So I am so grateful for you.
I can't wait and guess what.
I will see you tomorrow.
Cute, if you're on YouTube orhear you listen to you.
(47:48):
I will be with you tomorrowbecause another episode will be
coming.
So thank you for being here onour first day of the 12 days of
I almost called it vlogmas ofthe 12 days of Podmas.
Ah, I'm so excited.
Also, don't forget to check outthe Hello Dolly recipe because
you will want to make it forwhatever, whatever situation you
(48:10):
have going on in your life.
It is the back pocket essential.
I promise, I promise Love youall, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Thanks a lot.
Hey, cuties, welcome back to Five Years Time podcast
with your host, grace.
I'm so excited that you'vejoined us.
It is Wednesday today, whichmeans, duh, it's Five Years Time
day.
We're releasing a new episodeof the podcast.
But did you hear that intro?
Hmm, what have I had up mysleeve?
(00:29):
Well, cuties, welcome to 12days of podmas Dun-dun-dun-dun.
I've been working very hard,and continue to do so, for the
rest of December Well, not therest of December, okay, I spoke
too quick there Until Christmasto release an episode every day
for my cutes.
(00:51):
This time of year for me can befull of so many different
emotions and, as you know, hereat Five Years Time, we're all
about embracing the highs andthe lows to bring us the joy and
beauty that life has.
It is an adventure and I findthat this time of year can be
really, really, reallyrollercoaster-rific and every
(01:13):
year is a little bit differentas we process.
Well, at least for myself, assomeone who celebrates Christmas
and embraces this time and canonly speak from the obvious
perspective of my life, I'm hereto share and help us process
and all the emotions that comealong with the Christmas holiday
(01:36):
and this time of year.
I have always been quite aperson of reflection and
introspection and I realized somany different things about this
season.
As a kid.
It was a repetition, it felttraditional.
It felt the same feelings mostyears.
(01:57):
As I entered into my older teenyears and adult life, I
realized that Christmas holds somuch different weight in my
life and that it has been arollercoaster of what's this
year going to bring.
Where is my headspace going tobe at?
(02:18):
How am I going to feel thisChristmas?
Is it going to be exciting andmagic?
Is it going to be sad?
Is it going to be lonely?
Is it going to feel full oflove?
Is it going to feel a littlebit empty?
This year, we are going to beprocessing all of this together
(02:40):
leading to the 12 days ofChristmas.
So thanks for joining me.
I'm so excited to hop in andI'm super excited for this
series, this little time.
I'm so excited that I get tospend the 12 days leading up to
Christmas with you, because it'sjust going to be so fun.
What 12 episodes in a row oh mygosh, cute.
(03:04):
Thanks for joining Five YearsTime.
If you're not following onInstagram, go hit us up over
there.
If you're not following onTikTok, you can find us
everywhere at Five Years TimePodcast.
Okay, cuties, each episode isgoing to have a theme
surrounding something that Ifelt within my heart I wanted to
talk about, and today, kickingoff 12 days of podmas, I really
(03:27):
want to talk about thankfulness,because I am, honestly,
endlessly thankful for all ofthe cuties, for this space that
we've created and for thisoutlet that I have in my life.
I, as you know, have wanted topartake in podcasting for so, so
long before I started.
Can you believe we're coming tothe end of our third year of
(03:49):
Five Years Time?
That is just wild.
As we wrap up this end of season, I just have so much to reflect
on about how grateful I am tobe here and sharing with you.
I just first wanted to startoff by saying that this past
year, you have given me so muchgrace.
(04:10):
I feel like anytime I say grace, I always am like because my
name's Grace, but anyways, youhave given me so much grace this
year, working through my bigfeelings and my thoughts
regarding my life and my timespent online.
I feel like this year hasreally, really been the year of
(04:31):
almost stepping back andallowing myself space to breathe
and understand what I want formy future and for my day to day,
and what is the reason foreverything Like why have I
chosen to switch career pathsand take an online approach and
(04:55):
work for myself, and why, whydid I do that and why and how do
I want to continue to supportwhat my dream for my life was?
It's so easy to get carriedaway and taken and swept up in
all of this, especially in thisonline world, because, honestly,
you can do anything you want.
It's like you have the abilityand power to change your life
(05:19):
for how you want it to be, andthe ability to work online and
for yourself and use socialplatforms to create revenue and
income for your family or yourpersonal life is amazing.
It is a powerful thing, and itis so easy to get lost in why
you want it to do that For me.
I want it.
Flexibility, I want it.
(05:40):
I want it the ability to bepresent in Rose's life as much
as possible, not even just inher young life, but moving
forward into the future.
I want to be as present aspossible.
I grew up in a family where Ihad a single mom who worked lots
(06:02):
, and I love my mom like oh mygosh two at death, of course,
but I never had that and she wasamazing.
This has nothing to do with her, and this is what I always feel
like I need to not feel like myopinion is a reflection of
anybody else in my life.
Anyways, I always wondered whatit would be like to have the
(06:25):
mom who was able to I don't knowjust be there or be home sick.
If you're home, they are ableto be home sick with you.
Or, oh my gosh.
I always say to Roe you've gotthis luxury life, girl, you get
to lay in not that she sleeps in, we wake up early, but lay in
and chill out in the morning.
We don't have to get up andrush.
(06:45):
I was a before and after schoolkid.
I was there the second, thedoor opened for before and after
and I was the last one there atthe end of the night.
I love how that shaped my life.
It's a huge reason why I endedup working as an ECE and doing
before and after school, becauseI absolutely valued that part
of my life and, that being said,roe always wants to be in the
(07:06):
before and after school program.
Whenever she sees the kidsgoing to the gym, she's like I
want to do that and I'm likegirl.
I know it's so fun, but alsothere is a beauty in me getting
to be part of Roe's life as muchas I possibly can.
That's where I feel my heartdrawn is to have that
flexibility and that time withher, because time is forever
(07:28):
just flying, literally so much.
I also have the perspective ofhaving my dad, who passed away
at a young age he was only 50and I was only 15 and I feel in
my heart that could happen atany time.
It really can, and I feel likeI know the reality of how fast
(07:51):
death can come upon us,especially that being a sudden
death in my life.
Of course, if you want to hearmore about that, you can check
out my Journey with Greethepisode, greeth episode.
But I feel like I struggle topush past those feelings inside
(08:14):
of me where I am so ever awarethat I try not to put what is it
called Value into numbers in somany ways in my life, but
especially in age.
But I can't shy away fromtelling you that I have been
(08:36):
feeling this overwhelming feelever since I turned 30,
understanding that I'm 30 andI'm not saying this is going to
happen, I'm only ever trying toput out good things into the
world.
But my dad was 50.
That's 20 years from now.
But if I was passed away 20years from now, what do I want
(08:56):
to do in those 20 years?
And the thing is, it could beeven sooner, it could be even
later, of course, but I justhave this feeling in my soul, in
my heart, where I'm trying toshake it off as not a negative
feeling or a projection intowhat I'm bringing into me, but
in more, I'm trying to turn mymind into thinking what is it
(09:18):
that I want from this world,this precious life that I have
and these precious people in mylife?
Also, just a little side noteif you're watching on YouTube,
look, I got my Christmas mug forour 12 days of Podmas.
But I just feel like I havebeen exploring all these
(09:43):
thoughts so deeply and so alittle bit too much.
Maybe I don't think too much,necessarily, but I'm really
trying to formulate and figureout how to Like, how do I and
share that my thoughts staypositive in Projection into my
life, because I really do thinkthat our thoughts have power and
(10:03):
I am a positive person Overall,but like I can't shy away from
the fact that, like, these arefeelings I've been having and
they're very big, and so youhave given me so much space to
Think about this, and like therehave been weeks where I just
like One yes, we've gotten busy,life's gotten ahead of me, I
have run out of, I don't havetime, or We've been not feeling
(10:25):
well, but then I find, in thosemoments when I slow down is when
I really have the time to like,think through and process these
emotions, and then they feelbig and overwhelming and I'm not
prepared to talk about them.
I'm not prepared to talk aboutanything else because that's
consuming me.
And so I'm trying to findbalance and and I am so grateful
that you have given me spacethis year to take breaks from
(10:47):
the podcast when I need, and Toallow me to just work through
this stuff, because I honestlycan't come here and share my
thoughts and my feelings withyou If I am not in a good
headspace.
When I do, I feel veryemotional, emotionally
vulnerable afterwards, and whatdo they call it?
(11:09):
Like an emotional hangover of,of Share hangover.
What is it?
When you like, I don't know,but like I do, I always want to
come here and shareauthentically and open and Give
you what I have to offer, but atthe same time like I'm not
ready to talk about somethingand I Try and process it here
(11:29):
first.
That can feel like a lot to meand it can feel too much and I
don't necessarily want that Ronis out in the world like I'd
like a little bit of Feeling andthought that I've put into it
first, if that makes sense.
Like just it's not even afilter, it's just like sometimes
(11:51):
I come here and I say somethingand it's like, oh, I didn't
even know, that's what I wasthinking.
And Now I'm trying to share myemotions with you in a very
public environment and it justfeels a little overwhelming
afterwards and then I feel Notregret but like anxiousness and
(12:12):
I don't want that.
So it's been a balance.
It's been a balance trying tofigure it all out and I'm so
happy that I get to come hereand process those feelings with
you after I have the initialrealization, which is why we do
this week I learned where I'mable to come after I've done a
little bit of reflection on myweek and and then process how
(12:33):
I've learned from whatever thelesson of the week is and
there's always so many differentlessons and I'm I'm always
happy to share them.
Obviously, this is literallywhat my podcast is about, but it
does mean so much when you slipinto my DMs and and come and
comment on a video or whateverand say like, hey, this is how
(12:53):
I've been feeling or oh, you'vemade me feel so much less alone
and that Makes me feel so muchless alone and that is the whole
reason for this podcast.
So we are kicking it off withbank thankfulness and my gift to
you, because I do believe thebest form of gift giving is
sharing the gifts that you havebeen graced with, and for me, I
(13:15):
I do believe that one of mygifts is sharing vulnerability
and and Openness with people,and so I'm so glad that I can
can use a platform likepodcasting to Broadcast that to
a larger audience than just theimmediate people in my life.
And so this year, my gift toyou is our 12 days of podmas
(13:38):
where we're just gonna workthrough the holiday times
together and All of the emotionsthat that comes, that come
along with that.
So, yeah, yeah, I'm so excitedso I didn't really get to speak
on my set, but I I've Transformthe studio a bit.
(13:59):
We have my Christmas mug and Ithink I'm just gonna wear this
red sweater for every episode Irecord because it's my like
holiday fun sweater.
I do have one other red sweater.
I was thinking I was like, oh,should I go through my closet
and figure out like 12 differentfun holiday looks?
But like, realistically I don'tthink I have 12 fun different
(14:21):
holiday looks, but maybe I'lllike try switching up Less
accessories like a bow orsomething I don't know.
But like then I was like maybeit'll just be a staple, look,
I'll come with my sweater andthat'll be my fun festive
funness.
But anyways, I also have thisamazing pillow which I actually
got at home.
Since earlier this season it'sbeen sitting on our couch.
I borrowed it for our setbecause, you know, re is reduced
(14:43):
, recycle and I really don'tthink you need to go out and buy
new things Every year or at all.
So, yes, this is my fun holidayski pillow and I've added this
fun print which has Festivebaking going on.
So there's some recipe cards andI think, like some I wanted to
(15:06):
say Holly, but I don't know butanyways, some Some evergreen
with red berries and just likethe cute baking of Christmas.
So I think that's so fun andI'm just excited to be here To
celebrate the holidays with you.
That being said, I would loveto know what the holidays mean
(15:27):
to you.
If you could send me a DM ormessage me email me if you don't
use social media at FyT pod Atgmailcom I had to think about
what my email was, but I Wouldlove to know what the holidays
mean to you and maybe liketraditions you share.
Oh, maybe I'll put a questionbox on Instagram, but I would
(15:48):
just love to know more aboutwhat this time of the year means
to you, so that I don't feellike I'm just sharing Open
endlessly and not getting toknow you as well, because we're
really gonna get down and dirtythis holiday season and just
like break it all down.
I feel like Sometimes, or a lotof the times, or I think for
myself, going into the, into theholidays as an adult, I, I
(16:12):
there was like times where itjust felt so empty and lonely
and like I Almost just let it bethat I thought like that's just
what it is.
Obviously, now I have a kid andlike that makes it
automatically a little bit morefun and magical, but still, like
for myself, there was that timewhere I just those years where
it was like what am I missing,what is missing, and I I Chose
(16:37):
to then eventually dig down andnot just feel, like me, the
holiday season is sad or lonely,and figure out what it was and
like how I could a fix, fix thatand take control, and so that
we will be talking a lot aboutthat later on this week or next.
Oh my gosh, cute we have somany weeks together but yeah, so
(17:00):
I I also want to tell you thisis kind of like a good
housekeeping episode in thesense of explaining a lot about
how this series is Gonna work.
But every day we are gonna havea festive recipe.
So it's gonna be a recipe thatI, specifically in my life, have
learned along the way fromloved ones that have been a big
(17:21):
part of the holidays for me, andI am going to share that recipe
.
I'll let you know here whatit's gonna be, and then I will
post a video on Tiktok andInstagram and I don't think I
can post it on YouTube shorts,probably, but maybe I think I
can post it like on YouTube.
I think you can do a long form.
(17:42):
I videos not long form, butlike stand up videos.
I think you can post thoseactually on YouTube now, because
I won't film it horizontally,that'll just like it's too much,
but I just want to make itaccessible for as many people as
possible, depending on whatplatform you listen to me on or
follow me on or use in yourdaily life.
(18:04):
But yes, I'm going to post avideo and they're going to be
savory, they're going to besweet, they're going to be
everything in between, butspecial dishes that have come
into my life and are juststaples.
So we'll be sharing 12 recipesfor the 12 days.
That's going to be so fun.
I guess I can tell you whattoday's recipe is going to be.
But we're going to kick off theseason with Hello Dolly's, which
(18:27):
I have shared about in multipleplaces.
I've shared on my TikTok andI've definitely shared in one of
my vlogs.
But Hello Dolly's are like mychildhood staple.
When I think of any holidayfunction, it's Hello Dolly's,
but definitely around theChristmas time it is such a big
part of my upbringing.
I feel like there's so manydifferent names that people call
(18:47):
them and different ways thatpeople layer them, but I have my
way that my mom taught me that,I just think is absolute
perfection and the way thatthey're layered.
So I'm so excited to share thatthis is going to be one of the
best recipes that I can give toyou, which is why we're starting
off with it.
Because, one, it is so easy.
(19:08):
Anyone can do it, likeliterally anyone.
It is so, so easy.
Two, they're pantry staples, inthe sense that they might not
be staples to you right now, but, like, if you make them and
love them, they will be pantrystaples.
You will always keep I alwaysdo have on hand at least one of
like all of the things that youneed, because it's a few layers,
(19:32):
but like all of these thingsyou can keep in your house all
year round.
Like nothing is perishable.
You can keep your nuts in thefreezer, you can keep a butter
in the freezer and theneverything else you can keep in
your pantry and you will alwayshave this on hand.
A trick up your sleeve, I tellyou these Hello Dolly's are
because, one, they're so easy to, you will always have them on
(19:52):
hand, the ingredients on hand.
And three, it is just like thecrowd pleaser of crowd pleasers,
like everyone loves HelloDolly's, except for the coconut
haters out there.
But like even I've had peoplecomment on my video being like I
hate coconut.
And then people will be like Ihate coconut too, but I love
(20:13):
Hello Dolly's.
Like, ultimately, you canliterally sub anything you want,
but then they become whateveryou want to call them.
But like, they are so freakinggood, everyone loves them,
everyone will ask you to makethem and the fact that they are
just so easy, oh, they are theultimate, the ultimate holiday
(20:33):
baked good.
It's like what is it calledholiday baked good?
But I am so excited.
So go over to any of thoseplatforms I just said, basically
all my social media.
I will link it in the shownotes too and I will show you
how to make it.
I will share all theingredients and measurements and
recipe, all of that stuff, andwe are going to have the best
(20:56):
time ever, like seriously, evenjust for yourself.
And the beauty of them mostbaked goods in general is that
you can freeze them and thenjust have them at any point.
So just make them.
Just make them.
If you're not going to eat themall within a day or two.
Freeze them and then you areliterally going to be in heaven.
When you're just like in thatmood for some sweet.
You can pull it out, let it sitat room temperature for a bit,
(21:18):
oh life.
But yeah, hello Dollies are sogood.
Trevor's going to be so excitedbecause, like, I have nowhere
I'm going, but I'm making aHello Dollies, so we are just
going to have a huge tray andit's going to be amazing.
Oh, I can't wait.
Okay, cuties.
(21:43):
On a separate note, there'ssomething I've been wanting to
talk about recently and I justlike I actually never, I don't
think I realized that this wassomething that I was worried
about or have feeling in my headUntil I saw it, and then it was
like I was reminded ofsomething that I felt when I was
(22:03):
younger, when, especially whenI was like a teenager and into
my early 20s.
So recently, amber Fillerup hadshared a thought.
She was on a podcast and thenshe had shared to her stories a
thought about when she relistens to anytime she's like in
an interview situation on apodcast on someone else's
(22:25):
platform, she'll like listen tothe episode back and then she'll
feel like, oh, why did I say itthat way?
Or like, hurry up, you'retaking so long.
Like she just like is rushingherself, being so negative,
feeling like why would anybodyyou want to listen to what she
has to say.
And it's like I heard that, Iread that and then I was like,
(22:48):
oh my gosh, is that why I talkso fast?
I'm sure that's not a newthought to you, but I do talk
fast.
But I also feel like that'sbecause I'm someone who just
like, has endless things to say.
Sure, there's times I like tobe quiet and like be with myself
lots of times, all the time.
But, like, if I'm put in asituation where I can share and
(23:10):
I feel in the mood to share,like I have lots of stuff to say
and I feel like I definitelyprocess my thoughts out loud,
and so I think that is onereason that I talk so quickly.
But then, all of a sudden, Irealized, like, is that why it's
so tough for me sometimes tolike sit down and record the
podcast?
(23:30):
Even today, before I was goingto sit down, I have been so
excited about this series.
I had the idea of doing 12episodes and I got so excited.
I was like, oh my gosh, thecuties are going to love this.
It's going to be so fun, it'sgoing to be a great way to share
my gift around the holiday timeand I just like think it'll be
(23:53):
a really good exercise for me topractice podcasting more often
and like as opposed to doinglike week to week episodes and
just like digging deeper into my, my soul and my thoughts and
sharing more.
Like I was just like reallyexcited about it, like so
(24:15):
excited and that's somethingthat happens all the time in my
creative process.
Like I have a thought, I get soexcited about it, I think
everything through, like I Ilike create a full action plan
all in my mind at once, and thebest thing I can do when I have
a creative thought is to writeit down right away.
For so many things andsituations, like for so long I
(24:35):
always thought like oh, remember, remember.
And then I never do.
Like you always think in themoment like I'm going to
remember this, and then I neverdo like really I don't.
And then years later I'm likeoh yeah, and so like the best
thing I can do is write it down.
And when I get in like thosecreative sparks like that where
I really create a whole entireplan, it's like just write it
down, get it down on paper.
(24:57):
And this is where I become myworst enemy.
I like stop myself in my tracksand I think, oh, before I even
write down, like I've come upwith a whole concept.
And before I even write it down, I'm like, oh, you know what.
Like why did I even think thatwas a good idea?
Like nobody is going to carewhat I have to say, nobody's
(25:19):
going to want to listen to 12days in a row of episodes.
And like one of the biggestthoughts that I had had when I
first did it was, like there'salways that lull around the
holiday time where people go onvacation and take time off,
obviously to spend time withfamily, and just like take their
end of year break.
And I always feel like that'swhen I am really looking for a
(25:45):
podcast to have so I can go onmy walks every day where I've
slowed down, where I have timeto really embrace and take time
and listen.
And it's like, oh, this wouldbe amazing.
If I do these 12 episodes, youdon't even have to listen to
them.
Obviously, you don't have tolisten to them every day.
You could save them for afterthat time between Christmas and
New Year's, like even later on,but like they'll just be there
(26:10):
and like if someone wants tolisten to them, there'll be
extra content for them toconsume when sometimes there's a
little bit of a content lull.
But like that was one of mybenefits.
In my mind I was like, oh yeah,and then I was like, why?
And then I stopped myselfbecause I was like, oh, nobody
cares, like who, they're goingto be annoyed.
It's going to be annoying, like, but why do I think it's going
to be annoying?
(26:30):
Why do I think that aboutmyself?
Like, why am I thinking thatI'm going to be annoying?
Because one like sure I amannoying to people that don't
get it, that don't like me, thatcome to my content, my podcast,
my anything, and only can seeme through a negative lens, and
that's fine.
(26:50):
We don't vibe, we don't geteach other.
I come off strong to you, Icome off whatever displeasing.
Actually, I had a funny commentthis past week that was like
you've changed so much.
It was on a video where I waslike so hungry and I was making
a snack plate and I was beinglike silly and like literally
that is what my content wasbuilt off of is being silly and
(27:12):
making food.
Like that is like, at the core,what my TikTok was built off of
.
And so this person was likeyou've changed so much, like
you're trying so hard, you'resuch a try hard I can't follow
you anymore, whatever.
And I was like fine, that'sfine, don't follow me.
But like I was like literally inmy mind afterwards I'm like
(27:32):
working through what I would sayto this person I never interact
like I usually never interactwith someone who is trying to
like, especially in that case,like it's like why are you
telling me this?
Like you can think that foryourself.
But like, do you want to makeme feel bad on your way out?
But like, no, you're not makingme feel bad, you're making me
understand and realize even moreso that like who I am to you as
(27:55):
a viewer is whatever you'vechosen to create about me, right
, like I can only be my mostauthentic self.
And you take bits and piecesand you create a picture in your
mind of who I am as a whole toyou.
But like you'll never reallygoing to know who I am until you
meet me and get to know me like, and even so, then, like you
(28:16):
only get to know so much, buteither way, so I was just like
this person has obviously onlyseen like a few videos of mine
and has perceived me as I don'tknow, a boring human being,
because once I one time, whenthe one time she sees a video of
me where I'm like so freakinfun, she's like you're so
(28:38):
annoying and I'm like she hasinsecurity about that and that's
too bad.
So, anyways, it's just one ofthose things where, like, I know
I'm doing something right whenpeople are, when it's polarizing
for people and people think I'mannoying or weird, especially
if they think I'm weird.
I have a whole episode where Italk about how I'm weird.
(28:59):
I love that about myself and Iam always quick to forget how
much I love that about myselfbecause it pushes people away.
But it doesn't push the rightpeople away.
It pushes the people that don'tneed to, don't need to be in my
life, because all we can do islive our most authentic self.
(29:21):
So, anyways, back to myrealization that I am hard on
myself and thinking that what Isay doesn't matter and what I
say no one should have to listento and that I don't have value
to add, and this goes so farback.
Like one, I think it's like afemale thing, like I definitely
(29:41):
think it's a male thing as well.
I'm not trying to be genderbiased, but like I do think that
like a lot of the time thatfemales are made to feel like
they're less than in theirthinking process and their
knowledge and theirunderstanding, especially like
there was a time where it waslike cool for girls to be like a
(30:02):
ditzy or dumb and or comeacross as that, like I'm not
saying.
I honestly think that evenpeople who come off across as
ditzy or dumb like they reallyaren't there.
They have something beautifulwithin them and they're
portraying themselves as onething and if you get past that,
you're going to learn more.
But anyways, I remember when Iwas in middle school, like if
(30:25):
you were like a ditzy, ditzygirl, like it was like, oh my
gosh, like that is the it girl,but what?
Because it makes guys feelsecure in themselves, because
they can come off as like oh,I'm taking care of you and don't
worry.
Like I, I know, I know like Ican help you, I can guide you.
(30:49):
Like you're not going to testme or make me feel less than at
any point not that someone beingeducated should make some, or
or articulate should make youfeel less than, but like that is
an insecurity in themselves.
Anyways, it's this whole thingand it's like I've just been
thinking about this like why doI still to this day have those
(31:10):
feelings where it's like whatI'm saying is worthless, no,
literally so much worth don'thave, don't think that you're
worthless, like?
And then when you get down intoit, it's like I'm thinking like
it's not just this shallowthing or this like level, what
(31:34):
is it?
What is it when there's likethis is not this upper, like top
layer thing, where it's justlike, oh, I don't think that
like, like I'm just saying blah,blah, blah, blah, blah, like
nobody really cares, I'm justsharing my opinion or my
thoughts.
It's not even that.
It's like you go deep down,deep down, deep down, dig, dig,
dig, dig, dig, and it's likethen you start saying
(31:57):
understanding that it's likebigger than this and that it's
an insecurity in the inside ofyou that is really affecting
like every single thing that youdo and that affected me growing
up a lot.
Like, as I was saying, in myearly or my high school years
and early 20s, I never thoughtthat I had anything good to add
(32:18):
to most conversations, like Ihad an inner circle or I had the
people, and not even innercircle, I had people in my life
who I was.
I was always came off as shyand people would tell me all the
time that that I, like theywould say that I came off as a
bitch, which I think is socommon for people who come off
(32:41):
as shy but then also have likean extra verdant side to them
that, once they feel protectedand understood and safe, they
can allow to let loose, becauseI think it comes off as like, oh
, you're so open and bubbly andcare caring with these people,
but when I'm in the room or whenI meet you or whatever, you're
(33:03):
like so standoffish and like itcomes off as not giving me the
time of day, like I truly dothink that that is like a very
common experience for a lot ofpeople who come off as shy but
have that extraverted side tothem that they're not sharing
with everyone, and so then itlike I would always feel, like I
(33:29):
still feel like that to thisday is what I'm trying to get at
is that like I never felt likeI had anything good to say.
I was not book smart, and it'snot even that I wasn't book
smart.
I didn't give myself theconfidence to allow myself to
learn and feel book smartbecause I for so long thought,
(33:49):
like my whole life I never feltlike I was in a safe environment
where I could learn to dosomething Like.
I felt like everyone around mewas always good at whatever they
were good at.
People were good at sports,people were good at reading,
people were good at all thesethings and I was never.
I never felt like I was good atit the first time I tried and
then I felt like if I was to trymore, then I was made fun of
(34:11):
like, if you want, I never gotinto any sport except for, like
independent sports that I did onmy own, like skiing and stuff
like that.
But I never got into any sportat school or in an after school
student setting because I wasn'tgood the first day I tried and
then people would make fun ofyou if you weren't good, or they
(34:32):
made fun of other people andthen so you were scared that
they were going to make fun ofyou if you were trying.
But the only way you can getbetter at something is by
practicing and trying andlearning, and that was the same
with reading.
I never thought I was good atreading and I always was so
terrified to be selected inclass when there was like you
(34:52):
know when they'd be like, okay,we're going to read this chapter
from the textbook, let's all goaround and read a three
sentences or whatever.
And I would like scan thosethree sentences like if it was
like going in order of the seats.
I would like literally do themath to figure out where my
three sentences was.
And that whole time I was notlistening to what anyone was
saying, I was just reading thosethree sentences in my mind over
and over again so that I couldlike prepare myself the amount
(35:14):
of anxiety I had over having toread those three sentences out
loud and feeling like I wasgoing to make a mistake.
It was okay, it's okay to makea mistake, but like I felt like
there were so many, theenvironment was not okay for
making mistakes, like peoplemade it feel like it wasn't and
I didn't have the understandingor confidence to push past that.
(35:35):
And it's not like I even wantedto be friends with these people
who were mean or judgmental.
It was just more of I wanted tofeel accepted and I felt like,
if I like tried at something new, that I knew that I was not, or
I just like knew that I wasn'tgoing to be perfect at I'm not,
(35:56):
I'm literally never going to beperfect at anything but I just
felt like it was in a good place.
So I silenced myself, like Iliterally just like turned
inwards and that's where myshyness came from and I just
felt like I didn't want to hearpeople's perceptions of me so I
(36:19):
didn't allow them to know me andI so I'm so happy for the
people that I did that have likeeventually let into my life and
they're still such huge partsof my life today and I think
that that's that's a benefit ofthat.
There's always a positive, butlike I'm not saying that's what
you should do, but like therewas a benefit in the sense that,
like I really was thoughtfulwith my friends, the people who
(36:43):
I accepted and felt it acceptedme, and to this day they can
still we still can just be silly, silly billies.
Like literally that's all Iwant in my life is to just be
silly and fun and just like trynew things and have conversation
and like feel like you can sayanything and it can be open and
processed and you're not goingto get me fun of and like I love
(37:07):
to like have a fun chirp moment, like let's all just like have
fun and like chirp on each otherand be sarcastic and dry, like
I love that, especially when I'min like a safe, safe setting
with people that I trust andunderstand, but like at the same
time there was a difference.
But now, moving all the wayforward into today, where I've
(37:29):
just realized this past weeklike oh my gosh, I still have
those feelings in me and now I'min this new environment, aka
we've, we've moved, we're here.
I still feel like this is a newenvironment to me.
Everywhere I go, because Ihaven't really set up roots,
like socially with people.
But I still feel like, evenwhen I'm going to pick up row or
(37:53):
going to wherever, walking downthe street or walking down the
street, anytime I'm in a socialsetting, like at church or
whatever, I always feel likenobody cares what I have to say,
like I have nothing good to say.
It's not, this is not on them,this is me, this is all me.
It's like I have nothing goodto say, so I just need to avoid
(38:15):
saying anything and I just avoidit.
And then I always think, likein my mind it's like I would
love if someone would just reachout to me and say hi, like I
would love that.
Like if someone gives me aninch, I think it might take a
mile.
I'm like, oh my gosh, let's bebest friends.
Like well, as long as the vibesare right.
But like if someone gives me aninch in a conversation or down
(38:38):
the street, like I will open upand give them so much and I like
I'm craving that.
But I get so fearful that likenobody cares, like no, I'm
bothering someone if I ask themhow their day is or have a
little bit of small talk orwhatever.
And it's like opposite, if Ithink about it flipped, it's
(38:59):
like I want someone to do thatfor me, like I would love that.
So like I need to move past myinner secure insecurities and be
able to do that for otherpeople.
So I sorry, my voice just keepsgoing in and out.
I am trying really hard,especially like to end off the
(39:20):
year because I never believe.
Like I love resolutions in thesense that I love looking back
on what your year was and whatyou would like to bring into
this year and like kind ofgiving each year like a word.
I don't even give it to a, Idon't give my years a word at
the beginning of the year.
I usually give them word at theend of the year.
This year, to sum it up, waswhatever.
And so what am I gonna takefrom this year and move into
(39:45):
next year?
And then to start it as soon asyou figure that out?
So, like, for me it's like oh,I just figured this out.
A pivoting life, bob.
So now that I figured this out,it's like I want to start now
being that energy for somebodyelse and like, take it at face
value, like I have startedsmiling to everyone.
Like no more looking down whenI'm walking, especially when
(40:08):
people are passing by me, likesay hello, say good morning,
good afternoon, if it's not asetting where you think you can
get that in a smile and I havenot received them back, like
right.
I feel like we all, a lot ofnow, we live in a world where,
like, when you pass someone onthe sidewalk, you look down,
they look down, you look away,they look away.
(40:28):
So, like, even when theperson's looking away from me,
I'm smiling, like and I'mlooking at them looking away
from me and I'm smiling becausethat is a practice that I can do
and eventually, like every sooften the person smiles back in
the year, they're saying goodmorning back.
But like, even if they don'tand it gets not a personal thing
, like they're just looking awaythey don't even notice I'm
(40:48):
smiling.
And if they do and they don'twant to smile, like whatever
it's their space, their zone,but like I'm just putting out
the energy.
I'm putting out the energy that, like, I am welcomed, I am
welcoming, I have good things tosay.
If a conversation comes fromthis we can talk.
Like I just feel like I want tobe the person that I'm looking
(41:11):
for.
Like this is I've talked aboutit this whole year for this
whole podcast that I am reallyin the mood to foster, or really
in the I have this yearning inme to foster a relationship even
I'm now realizing like evenrelationship that I already have
(41:32):
in my life, and not necessarilynew relationship, but yes, I
would love new relationship too.
Like I'm always looking forgood company.
I think that that's somethingthat's really important and can
shape us, and I don't have likea mom friend per se, so that
could be something good too aswell.
But like I think why we aspeople don't don't or feel
(41:57):
emptiness in our friendshipssometimes is because we don't
put out into the world whatwe're looking for, and I think
that's a big part of why I don't, why I feel emptiness in a lot
of ways, like in any view.
I think you can take that andput it into any category of
(42:20):
loneliness that you're feeling.
Yeah, so I think for myself,like I am looking for just good
vibes and good conversation andcomfort and connection and the
(42:42):
accessibility accessibility inthat as well and why I'm not
achieving that so easily isbecause I'm literally not
putting that out there.
Like I need to continue with mysmiling exercise, where I smile
at people.
My favorite is going on walks,because you can always get a
good morning on a walk.
But I'm really trying to pushmyself like walks and like
(43:03):
trails, I mean, but I'm reallytrying to push myself into the
sidewalk smiles where you'rejust passing by someone and you
smile or you're getting, you'regoing into the grocery store or
whatever that is.
I'm just trying to really likethe more you.
It's all about practice, right?
As I said, I was so fearfulgrowing up to push myself to try
(43:27):
something new because of whatother people would say.
But did that matter?
No, it didn't, because I haveperspective now.
So I now realize like I justneed to keep practicing, because
the only way that things canbecome a little more comfortable
is by practicing, and it'salways good to be pushing
yourself past your comfort zonebecause that's where growth
comes from.
And I am incredibly proud ofthe person that I have grown
(43:50):
into be now and I want tocontinue growing into whatever
the next Pokemon evolution of meis.
I don't really know much aboutPokemon.
I just know that they start asone thing and they turn into
something else, and the onlyreason I said that is because of
Roe is currently like obsessedwith Pokemon, because our
neighbor had Pokemon and it'sjust like the Pokemon cycle,
(44:14):
right, it always comes back whenI worked in childcare, like it
was always Beyblades and Pokemonand they always came back Like
they will always have theirmoment.
And when they do have theirmoment, it's like everyone all
in obsessed.
Beyblades and Pokemon, likethose are the two that at least
in my life I've realized.
So currently we're in a Pokemonmode.
(44:34):
Roe doesn't even know whatBeyblades are.
I think she's probably a littleyoung.
Beyblades are kind of scary too.
They can be dangerous, butanyways, that's a side tangent,
but yeah.
So that is something that I amreally working on right now and
that I've just had this hugeepiphany over this past week and
I just like can't believesometimes things, just like you
(44:56):
just see something and itliterally sparks like this huge
shift in your mindset.
Like oh my gosh, I don't thinkI have anything good to say, or
like I feel like people thinkthat what I have to say is
whatever and I feel like I haveto speak faster so that I can
get my thought out there beforesomeone wants to move on with
the conversation.
(45:16):
It's like no, like I can, I'malways gonna speak fast, like
that's how I speak, but like atthe same time I do do that when
I'm in a social setting and I'min a group, I do feel like, oh,
I gotta speak quicker becausesomeone's gonna cut me off.
It's like no, it's okay.
And also I don't mindconversation back and forth who
are like not necessarily you'recutting each other off, like I
(45:38):
know people consider it cuttingoff, but I like the conversation
where it's like I say a littlebit, then all of a sudden, and
that sparks something in you, soyou say a little bit and then
we bring it back and then blah,blah, blah.
I love that kind of conversation.
I know other people hate it,but my husband specifically,
like he hates that and it's likethat's hard for us because I
will always jump in and be like,oh my gosh, like squirrel
(45:59):
example, like you know from thatmovie.
But anyway, I say, is that upwhere it's like squirrel?
No, is that anyways?
But like I always feel like Ineed to interrupt with however
that has sparked theirconversation has sparked
something within me and Ibelieve that that's a
relatability like I'm lettingyou know, like, oh my gosh, like
I totally vibe with that,because blah, blah, blah, blah.
(46:19):
Oh yeah, like I've had asimilar experience and that's
something I have to work on toois also not doing that as much
or reading the room, but likewhen you find the people who
communicate the same way as you,it is so flawless, like it
feels so good and I loveconversations like that.
But yeah, anyways, I feel likeI just gave you so much food for
(46:41):
thought.
So, if you feel like this issomething that's been taking
over your life as well, withoutyou even realizing, I'm glad
that I was able to shed thatlight on you and I'm glad that
Amber shared that in her storybecause all of a sudden I was
like, oh what, okay, butwrapping up this episode of
(47:02):
Podmas, I was debating what weshould call it and, like you
know, vlogmas.
So I was like, okay, I'm justgonna do Podmas.
I was gonna do 12 days ofChristmas, but then I was like I
don't know if that's generaland I don't know, but we can
always workshop the title ifwe're gonna do it again or do it
for something else.
But anyways, I just reallywanted to wrap this and round
this up with letting you knowthat I am so endlessly thankful
(47:24):
for all you listeners out there.
It means so much and if youwanna review the podcast, that
would be amazing for me because,honestly, it is the like number
one way that a podcast can grow.
So I am so grateful for you.
I can't wait and guess what.
I will see you tomorrow.
Cute, if you're on YouTube orhear you listen to you.
(47:48):
I will be with you tomorrowbecause another episode will be
coming.
So thank you for being here onour first day of the 12 days of
I almost called it vlogmas ofthe 12 days of Podmas.
Ah, I'm so excited.
Also, don't forget to check outthe Hello Dolly recipe because
you will want to make it forwhatever, whatever situation you
(48:10):
have going on in your life.
It is the back pocket essential.
I promise, I promise Love youall, mwah, mwah, mwah.
Thanks a lot.
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