Flatbill Pastor Episode 13: Back to School Conversations

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Ever wondered how to juggle a full-time job, homeschooling, and the back-to-school chaos? Tune in to hear Malinda Moore, a mother of four, share her whirlwind experience of transitioning her kids to public schooling, all while balancing her career. Joined by passionate fifth-grade teacher and doctoral student Ashley Castles, we promise you'll gain valuable insights into making this school year successful and faith-centered for everyone involved.

Hear firsthand from Ashley as she shares the joys and challenges of reconnecting with former students and the unique feedback that only passionate educators experience. This episode dives into the delicate balance of homeschooling versus public schooling, the role of Christian values in education, and the impact of technology on classroom dynamics. You'll leave with a newfound appreciation for the character development fostered by public education and the dedication it requires from teachers.

Building trust and communication between parents and teachers is vital, and our guests highlight why mutual respect and collaboration are key to a positive educational experience. From navigating parent-teacher conflicts with faith to supporting overburdened educators, we cover it all. We also tackle the complex relationship between digital devices and education, advocating for a balanced approach that encourages personal interaction and healthy digital habits. Don't miss this engaging discussion that underscores the crucial role of community and faith in nurturing our children's educational journeys.

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Episode Transcript

Becca (00:13):
Hey y'all, I'm Becca.
Welcome to the Flatbill Pastorpodcast.
This is episode 13.
Hey, I know.

Clint (00:23):
Lucky 13.
I'm excited.

Becca (00:25):
Yeah, exactly Lucky 13.
Hey, lucky 13.
I'm excited.
Yeah, exactly Lucky 13.
Let's just get this, theintroduction, started.
This is my co-host.

Brooke (00:34):
Yeah, I'm Brooke, and super pumped to be here,
especially today.
We're tackling an alwaysexciting content, which is back
to school.
Yes, so we have a few peoplewith us.
Ashley, if you don't mindsharing just a little bit about
who you are and why you lookedforward to back to school, Not
at all.

Ashley (00:53):
Thank you, brooke.
I'm Ashley Castles.
I am a fifth grade teacher atRuth Hill Elementary and I get
really excited about back toschool because I appreciate
being back with my students andhaving the purpose and structure
back in my life after a long.
This summer felt short, butusually a very long summer.

Clint (01:12):
What are summers as a teacher?
For those who are like teachersonly teach and that's all they
do Like.
What did you do this summer?

Ashley (01:19):
I was a student this summer.
I was attending doctoralclasses at University of West
Virginia Shut your mouth, let'sgo so.

Brooke (01:29):
All right, I was a student and teacher.

Clint (01:31):
Yes, how much longer do you have now?

Ashley (01:34):
I think a year and a half.
A year and a half, okay, yes.

Clint (01:37):
Let's go.
How about that?

Ashley (01:38):
It's my second semester this summer, yeah.

Clint (01:40):
Yeah, that is exciting.
Wow, A whole semester and justcram it in.

Ashley (01:44):
Yeah, go Fast.

Clint (01:45):
That's right.
That's right.
No Lake Life for you.

Ashley (01:47):
I start next week.

Clint (01:48):
Okay, oh gosh, Okay so you're full-time teaching and
doing doctrinal program.

Becca (01:53):
Yes, sir.

Brooke (01:53):
Yeah.

Clint (01:53):
That's cool.

Brooke (01:54):
Wow.

Clint (01:55):
That's exciting.

Brooke (01:56):
Yeah, that's cool yeah.

Clint (02:00):
Oh me, my name's Clint.
My name's Clint and I am apastor at Foundation in downtown
Noonan.

Brooke (02:08):
Nice, yeah, nice, ta-da.
And then, last but certainlynot least, we have I'm Malinda,
Malinda Moore.

Malinda (02:16):
I'm a mom of four kids.
Four different schools college,high school, middle school and
elementary.

Clint (02:22):
Let's go oh that's nice.

Brooke (02:23):
Yeah, that's good.
Whatever they could be goingthrough, we're doing it all at
the same time.
Yes.

Clint (02:29):
So the ages walk us through that.

Malinda (02:32):
My oldest is almost 19, and then I have a 16-year-old,
12, and 9.

Clint (02:37):
Gotcha.

Malinda (02:37):
Wow, I have to think about it.
That's a spread For sure so.

Becca (02:40):
So your mornings are a little hectic.
Yes, All over the place.
Drop off.

Brooke (02:45):
Yes, yeah, so I imagine that is probably getting in the
groove of back to school.
Obviously, your older kids canprobably help a wee bit with the
younger ones if they feel soinclined, but I can imagine
walking through back to school,especially with the different
age groups.
There's all kinds of differentthings rambling through your
head at the same time.

(03:06):
Yes, now do you just wake up onlike July 31st and you're like
you know what Tomorrow's back toschool.
I'll start worrying today.
No, not at all, probably.
So I mean when, like, as you'regearing up, I know for us it's
like okay, the two weeks beforeis when you start.
Oh, we got to get ourselvestogether.
We got to get it back in gear,so what?

Malinda (03:29):
does that look like for you typically?
Well, it's been.
I guess this summer has feltreally fast to me.
It was, it felt really fastyeah.

Becca (03:36):
Agreed, we blinked.

Malinda (03:38):
Yes, but the last couple of weeks I've just been
trying to plan, make sure myoldest has all of her college
stuff.
She's gotten most of that stufftogether, but when I took her
today actually to get her allmoved in, we had to go buy a
couple stores and she stillmight need some more things.

Brooke (03:56):
Last night on Target right.

Becca (03:58):
Yes, we went to Target.

Malinda (04:01):
But I try to make sure we have all the things that we
need and just be prepared.
Prepared because I want themto—I prayed a lot because I want
them to enjoy it, but I wantthem to stay with their faith
and stay focused and be learningand I want it to be a good year
, so I'm hoping for that, Ofcourse.

Brooke (04:20):
For sure Are there some worries and concerns that are
mixed into that of just hey,we're moving into new school
year and just some fears thatyou have as a mom.
Like I said, you have kids onthe map with all the things.
So I'm sure they range, butthere's some that are probably
consistent for all.

Malinda (04:34):
Yes, Probably for me.
Well, speaking of my youngerchildren especially, just like
wanting them to be able to learnand like and not be.
You know, I think about all thestuff that they're exposed to,
different kinds of things, andactually I I grew up, I was
homeschooled, so for me, publicschool still is like my kids

(04:56):
have been in for a few years,but just all the different
things that they're going to,you know, have to deal with and
I want them to.
You know, I want it to besuccessful and I want them to
grow and I don't want, you know,I want to deal with and I want
them to.
You know, I want it to besuccessful and I want them to
grow and I don't want, you know,I want them to go forward.

Brooke (05:09):
Yeah, yeah, definitely having two sides of the coin, of
that of you having thehomeschool experience for
yourself.
So did you homeschool them aswell at some point?

Malinda (05:17):
My first two, yes, and my third one for just like a
year.
So, and the youngest one stillwishes he was homeschooled.

Clint (05:27):
The other three are they don't want to be homeschooled
what made you decide to go fromhomeschooling and and go into
the public school system?
Well, when I started workingfull-time, okay, so yes, yeah,
yeah, that's hard to workfull-time and full-time teach
your kids.
Yes, yeah, and so would you saythat your experience so far has

(05:47):
been one of.
This is a great decision, orare there times when you're like
, oh, I don't know if this is agreat decision.
Where are you at?
How many years are you intothis?

Malinda (05:58):
I think I'm about five years in.
Yeah, I have mixed feelingsabout it.

Clint (06:04):
Yeah.

Malinda (06:05):
I appreciate you know you talking about stuff, because
these things are always on mymind.
This is grow with my familygrowing up, um, going public
school was always just, you knowthey, they didn't believe in it
, so it kind of makes me nervous, but there's been some good
things.
I would definitely saydefinitely.
I think some of theopportunities for different
things that they're doing likeyou know, they get to hear,

(06:27):
learn from different teachers,different kids, different
activities there's definitelypositive things, but there's
some things that do make menervous too.

Clint (06:35):
So, yeah, what are those things that make you nervous?

Malinda (06:41):
I think, just like them being exposed to a lot of
different types of people anddifferent, you know, different
values that people have.
And also, you know, I wouldlike to know more of like what
is being taught.
Like you know, I mean, Iactually as a hairstylist, I do
a lot of teachers hair and Ilove a lot of the teachers,

(07:02):
which makes me that, makes mefeel good that there's good
people in the schools teachingthem.
But I get nervous about youknow things they may be exposed
to.
Like you know, now that mymiddle schooler I worry about,
like you know vapes and like youknow drugs possibly, and stuff
like that.
Those things make me nervous.

Clint (07:22):
When you think through that, how are you having or how
are you handling that with,especially the kids that are
obviously your college studenthas probably already had to
wrestle with hey, is this goingto be for me or not?
For me Probably has a lot oflife experience, just because of
you know, because of age.
But then the boys that areyounger, in elementary, middle

(07:43):
school Are you havingconversations with them about it
?
How are they responding to it?
Do their responses make youfeel better or worse about you?
Know the potential for theirexposure and the decisions
they'll have to make when you'renot there.

Malinda (07:58):
I would say a little of both.
We do talk about it a lot.
One thing that you told me,that really you know keeping the
conversation open.
I feel that's one thing that isgoing better with my boys, with
my girls.
I don't feel like we talkedabout enough stuff and they were
homeschooled when they wereyounger.
But I also have to rememberwhen I was, I was homeschooled

(08:19):
and when I was probably around18, I did get into a lot of
trouble and stuff and I washomeschooled.
So it's not a guarantee thatthey wouldn't get in trouble,
but I have been trying to talkto them about a lot of stuff and
the fact that they are talkingto me does give me hope that
we're talking about the things.

Clint (08:39):
Yeah, for a lot of moms that maybe are worried that
they're especially when we'retalking about moms to boys it's
like, okay, well, I don't.
I don't know if my boy willshare with me some of these
things, because maybe he wouldwant to share it with his dad or
fill in the blank, whatever.
How have you found or what,what strategy or technique or

(09:00):
have you gotten to get them tohave conversations and to open
up about some of those biggerthings?

Malinda (09:05):
Well, I think some of it may be the personalities of
my boys.

Becca (09:12):
I also do tell them.
Sometimes you could talk toyour dad about that.

Malinda (09:17):
There's some things I'm like, yeah, he probably knows a
little more about.
I'm just kidding.
You might not want that, but Ifeel like at this point I do
feel like my boys talk to me alot.
I do know that my older son Ifeel like he keeps a little bit
more things that he probablydoesn't.
He's very curious about thingsand that's something that makes

(09:42):
me a little nervous, but I dofeel like they're pretty open
and I'm grateful for that.

Clint (09:45):
Yeah, yeah, when you think through the role of faith,
and I mean, obviously you knowyou've put yourself in a
position to say, I want to alignmy life with Jesus.
It's your hope that your kidswould align themselves with
Jesus, but obviously that'stheir choice.
You know, certainly you have anenormous amount of influence as

(10:12):
a parent, but we all know thatwhen our kids leave our sight,
that they're going to choosewhat they choose moment to
moment, you know how has faithplayed a role in both shaping or
influencing, but also kind ofreleasing a little bit them into
.
I don't want to say the publicschool system is the wild.

Brooke (10:33):
I mean my teacher.

Clint (10:34):
You know what I'm saying For sure, but you know how has
faith played a role in that foryou?

Malinda (10:39):
Well, you know, as I got out of the car today,
actually I was thinking aboutjust the fact that we have to
trust God, and that's what I'mtrying to do, truly, like
believing that my children arenot my children, that they're
God's children, Like that's whatI try to remember.
And you know, when you asked meto do this, it's crazy because
at this point in my life, thisis like the perfect time,

(11:00):
because there's all thosethoughts and I do worry about it
, like it's the thing that Iworry about with my children.
But I do think continuing tobring that back to this is not
all in my control.
Really, these are God'schildren.
They're not, you know so yeah,I think.

Clint (11:17):
I think your answer is the best answer anyone can give.
Pulling that off is a wholenother level, though, right Like
waking up every day in themidst of the reality that it's
not just conceptual, thatthey're going to be exposed to
some things that we know areunhealthy for them, or maybe not
even just unhealthy butenormously detrimental to their

(11:40):
development and maybe even totheir legal career, or,
hopefully, lack of legal career.
There's a lot of things that canhappen, especially in a middle
school or a high school, thatcan just go sideways and still
saying, yeah God, they're yourkids even more than my kids.
That's extremely difficult, butI think you're on the money.

(12:06):
I don't know that you can havea better approach than that.
You know, I think we can get inthis conversation of is
homeschooling better than publicschooling or vice versa, and
you know it's certainly I.
My wife, is a public schoolteacher, and so I get to
experience the magic she createsfor students, and I see the

(12:30):
overflow of that when we're outin public and the joy that kids
have when they see her, andsometimes the dread she has when
she sees that they're going tosee her.
But just this I love to put heron the spot and she knows it's
coming, because every studentthat comes up to her, I wait for
them to do their whole thing,and so it's obvious that she's

(12:51):
taught them.
And so I'll say, hey, when didshe teach you?
And they'll say, oh, five yearsago, six years ago, last year.
She's my teacher now and Ialways ask be honest with me, is
she any good as a teacher?
And the reviews are just likethrough the roof, which I'm not.
I mean, she's obviouslystanding there right, so it's
kind of a you know, but it'sjust.
There's never a hesitation,it's always no.

(13:14):
I mean, she's one of my favoriteteachers and when I think about
and I know not all teachers,just like any profession, wake
up every morning thinking thisis the reason God put me on the
planet.
For some people it's turnedinto this is how I get by and
this is how I'm going to make aliving.
And that's a tough place to bewhen you do anything, much less
when you're going to teachsomeone else's kids.

(13:35):
But, that being said, I look atpeople like my wife and other
teachers that I know I thinkAshley falls in this category
and just think man God has usedthem to bring so much more value
to their life than they wouldhave ever had the opportunity,
because the public school systemis such an incredible tool, and

(13:57):
we've got a ton of homeschoolfamilies in our church and the
cohorts that they're a part of.
I think they do an incrediblejob, and obviously there's a lot
of kids that have now growninto high school students that
are volunteering and are a hugepart of our church.
So, 100%, I think homeschoolinghas an enormous amount of

(14:17):
benefits, but I love the publicschool system, and with that,
though, you've got to love thepublic school system and know
that the public school systemisn't the church and that it
isn't actually supposed to be,that the church, the church
itself, are the people that areconnected to Jesus, and we carry

(14:39):
that wherever we go, and so ourexpectations can't even be that
the public school system wouldmeet our standards of the church
or meet the expectations wewould have of the church.
People say, well, it's aseparation of church and state.
All good Jesus followers knowthat there's nothing that can
separate us from the good workGod has called us to do, whether

(15:00):
it's in the government or inthe school system or wherever.
Wherever we go, we carry thevalues and the heart of Jesus
with us and we can't put thatdown Now.
It might influence how teacherswill respond or react or the
words that they use, but thesame way, just because it's not
as overt, the heart of Jesus isin the hands of teachers and in

(15:22):
the words of teachers as theyspeak life into kids and I think
it's great and incredible whenour kids are fortunate enough to
have a Jesus follower teachthem algebra or teach them how
to subtract or how to write incursive, which I don't know if
they actually do that anymore.

Becca (15:41):
I don't think so.

Clint (15:42):
My kids for sure can't write in cursive and they make
good grades.

Brooke (15:45):
I don't think so.
My kids for sure can't write incursive and they make good
grades.
I don't think that's a thing.
Is writing even a thing thatthey work on now, past
kindergarten or first grade?

Becca (15:51):
They're like Chromebooks.
It's fine, that's right.

Clint (15:56):
So the other day Hadley, my daughter, she was actually
she's a little impatient.
Her complaint for the day wasthat people were not taking
notes fast enough.
She was like you know, she's onthis little computer and I'm
assuming it was the computer.
I mean, I've never seenhandwritten notes.
I mean, yeah, I'm assuming it'sthe computer, and she was upset

(16:18):
that there was a long pausefrom the time they put the stuff
up.
Here's the notes and she'slooking around.
She's like they were on likethe second word.
You know what I'm saying.
She's like I was already donewith the whole sentence.
Why does it take so long?
I was like, whoa girl, slowdown.
You got a whole 180 days, 178days now to go.
They'll be okay.
Anyway, I don't know where Iwas going with that, but

(16:39):
nevertheless, that's yourconcern is that she won't slow
down.

Ashley (16:42):
Yeah, that is my concern , that's also a beautiful thing
about public schools.
I was raised in public schooland I choose to be a public
school teacher and I wouldn'twant to be outside the public
school system.
But that and I have a daughterin fifth grade.
But they're exposed to thingsthat do try their character.
You know, you do have to slowdown for the other kids around

(17:03):
you who are not like you, you dohave to be patient.
Brianna's very similar toHadley.
She's a high achiever and shewants to be done and be done
quickly and things come easily.
But learning the patience,learning to take your turn,
learning it's not all about you.
You know that we are one pieceof a puzzle and you don't just
get that immediate attention andyou can't lead everything every

(17:26):
time.
You know it humbles them to bein a classroom where they're one
of several instead of thiswhole environment operates
around you.
So I do love that part ofpublic education a lot.

Clint (17:38):
Yeah, I think, yeah, I think it's a nail on the head.

Brooke (17:40):
Well, and I think too, like the difference in exposure
from like a you hate to talk, amoral standpoint, but like that
you have.
Hey, these are the rules withinmy household that we want to
make sure we uphold.
And then, if there's kids thatmaybe I mean, I was for sure a
kid that had very few roles andthankfully I wasn't a wild and

(18:01):
crazy child, but you know, Ididn't have a ton of rules
growing up, and so I would havebeen the morally corrupt kid
that everyone was like we're notletting our kid go to that
kid's house.
That would have been me.
But knowing that that it isthat catch, 22 of you want them.
I mean, my kids go to publicschool as well.

(18:22):
So, like you, want them to havethat exposure because it
creates character and life andjust how to deal with things.
And again, not to say, okay,homeschool kids don't have that
at all, because I think you cancreate that exposure.
But it's such a catch of itthat, yes, you want your kids to
have this exposure while at thesame time you also want to keep
safe the morals and the valuesand the things that are so

(18:46):
important to your faith or yourhome, just in general.
Those are so important and itis.
It's a hard thing, but I thinkthe both of you hit the nail on
it with saying it's a concernfor you as a parent, it's a
concern for you as a teacher ofjust hey, I want to make sure
they're exposed, but they'reexposed healthily and it's the
right way.
And again, it's the exact samething for you and those fears

(19:08):
and concerns.

Clint (19:13):
Yeah, I think you know you mentioned homeschool can
create it.
It requires a lot ofintentional effort and all of my
friends that were homeschooledgrowing up they'll I mean
they'll tell me homeschoolingnow is very different than when
they were homeschooled growingup, that there's so many more
opportunities athletics andopportunities to get in which.
I mean I don't actually have alot of interaction on a regular
basis with the homeschoolcommunity other than from a

(19:33):
church standpoint, and we have alot of friends but I don't
watch and see what those thingsare happening.
But I do know that myhomeschool friends are some of
the busiest nonstop always onthe move, people with lots of
other kids and it seems like allmy homeschool friends also
really love the woods and theyare constantly at a Creek or

(19:53):
something like that Nature iseducating you know, so I think I
think that's.
I think it's good too.
I I think you know publicschool has got such a negative
rap with it, oftentimes becauseof the things you're concerned
about and I know from a pastor'sperspective it's what I'm

(20:14):
supposed to say because just thestereotypical thing that comes
with it.
It's my hope and my dream, myprayer, that my kids would be
influential enough to changeculture, even if the culture is
absolutely rotten.
That's my hope for my kids.
Now, I don't know if my kidshave that ability.

(20:35):
I don't know if they have thatskill set in them.
They're still developing thosethings.
But that's my hope.
My hope is that when he walks ina classroom, that he sees the
marginalized or the forgottenabout and he befriends them.
My hope is that when he seessomeone being bullied, that he's

(21:00):
not the cause of it but he's acatalyst for putting a stop to
it.
My hope is in my daughter.
I think she's gorgeous.
We have lots of mean girlconversations with her about.
These are life that are leadingin a way that's so contrary to
what I think is easy for somegirls to fall into in the mean

(21:33):
girl world, and that she becomessomeone that, even though she
is crazy, feisty, very spicylittle girl that she becomes
someone that leads withcompassion.
And I know that I don't havethat expectation, that they're
flawless at that, but I do havethe expectation that they
understand that that is anexpectation Jesus has of them

(21:55):
and that they ought to beworking towards it.
And, at the end of the day, ourmission whether we're going to
do it through homeschooling orthrough the public school system
is, whatever venue we're goingto subject ourselves to, we have
to know it should not be solelyChristians.
We should not insulateourselves.

(22:17):
Having a group of only peoplewho think just like I do believe
the exact same things I do areanti, the same things that I'm
anti.
If we insulate ourselves withonly that crew, then we have
fallen short of the mandate thatJesus gives us to go into a

(22:37):
world that doesn't know him andintroduce them to him, and I
think that takes time and aprocess.
But it also requires a risk forparents like you, and that's a
scary thing to think.
I'm teaching my kids to be attimes in a place where I

(23:00):
probably could protect them alittle bit better if I
micromanaged everything.
But I'm going to have faiththat I've done my part as a
parent as best I can, and thatthese kids are God's kids.
You put it perfectly From ateacher's standpoint.
When you hear a parent which I'msure you talk to parents often

(23:23):
but when you hear a parent,that's apprehensive sure you
talk to parents often, but whenyou hear a parent that's
apprehensive or just maybe notapprehensive but like nervous
about the school you're gettingstarted and just some of the
things that her boys might comein contact with, how does it
make you feel as someone thatultimately, it's not you you
don't teach her boys, butsomeone like you she's trusting,

(23:45):
is going to act on her behalfin terms of their safety and
their well-being, which could bevery similar to safety, but
mental well-being, mental health, all those things she's like.
You know what?
I think these teachers aregoing to treat my kids in a way
that they would want their kidsto be treated.

(24:06):
How does that sit with you?
Does it bring extra pressure orit's like?
No, I don't even think aboutthat.
I'm just trying to make sure myscores get good Diagnostic test
.

Brooke (24:15):
That's right Today.

Clint (24:16):
Yeah.

Malinda (24:16):
So, walk us through that.

Clint (24:22):
How does it feel?
Just pretend you're not aparent, but yeah.

Ashley (24:26):
I love that part of of the career that I get to be a
part of, like that hypes me up.
Um, and I think that's you whatyou.
You are correct that there aresome educators that have either
lost their passion or they kindof fell into, they got a degree
in something and then this kindof was the career that was open
and they had to work.
But I will say that a majority,a vast majority of the

(24:49):
educators that I'm connected toare very passionate, purposeful
teachers, both male and female,in the public school system.
And there is a drive when yourealize, when you drop your kids
off at school or when they getoff the school bus, that you are
trusting me to be the pseudoparent, the pseudo authority,

(25:09):
the caregiver, the protector,and I take it very seriously.
I love it and I do think a lotof that comes from the number
one job being safety, becausethe standards are going to
change, the tests change often,the curriculum changes often and
I joke that you know I'm decentat my job, but it's not.

(25:30):
I'm kind of a jack of alltrades when it comes to
curriculum.
I've done across the board, butit's the relationships and the
concern for safety and realizingthe value of that role in our
job.
So for me personally,professionally, I get very
excited to know that I can bringyou that comfort and that I can
connect with families that wayas a teacher.

(25:51):
My advice to parents who wouldhave that concern would be to go
ahead and make that you're notbothering us.
Make that connectionspecifically with the teacher
and share your story with themand say you know, this is the
past that I came from, andhere's my hesitancies and here's
my hope.
Because when you have arelationship with a teacher,

(26:12):
it's just different.
And I teach in a school wherethere's not necessarily a lot of
parent involvement and I'm veryconnected to all of my students
, or try to be.
I try my best to be veryconnected, even if I wanted to
be completely unbiased in allways.
When a parent extends the timeand effort to tell me, this is
my insecurity, this is where Istruggle and I'm looking for you

(26:36):
to give me reassurance.
It just makes it different.
So I appreciate the trust andvalue.
I think that's one thing for forteachers to understand that
parents are handing over theirkid and you're putting this
trust in us all day and withsociety.
Now, when you talk about safety.
It's not just the mental,emotional bullying.
We have the physical safetyconcerns.

(26:57):
You know doing code red drillswith other people's kids Every
single time.
We do that throughout the year.
It makes my heart stop a littlebit.
To know one what it would belike for me to be with these
children who are fearful, butwhat it would be like for the
parents.
And how do I do I have thetrust that they would know I
would be doing everything Icould to nurture and take care
of their kids.

(27:18):
But I get a thrill from it.
I love it.
I love that value of that role,but I think the relationship is
so important.
So, yeah, connect, connect withthe teacher.

Becca (27:28):
That's so refreshing to hear because even as a parent,
you know it's a vulnerability ina lot of ways to be like, hey,
this is what our weakness is.
I'm showing up the first day ofschool and I'm trying to, you
know, not unload on this newteacher that I don't know.
She doesn't know my children,and it's difficult because I

(27:49):
don't want to be judged in a way, or this is my past or I got to
play it cool for this newteacher.
She doesn't know us.
So to know that you're alreadylooking for that reassurance
that does everything for me as aparent too.

Brooke (28:06):
Yeah, even the vulnerability from the
standpoint of the child, thatyour child has to be a bit
vulnerable as well.
When you're having those, someof those conversations of hey,
I'm going to pull the curtainback on some of their struggles
and hope that we're going to beable to work together to make
this the best year they've everhad.

Ashley (28:21):
Yes, so that is, and I would recommend not doing those
things in front of your student,and I don't mean that like no,
for sure, but that does happen,and then that kind of it doesn't
really build our relationship.
And now I don't really know howto approach if the kid's
sitting there hearing all butyes, to say this is the past of
my child, this is the past of myfamily, even just a note or an

(28:43):
email, just casual, and that Ithink as a teacher, it also
allows me the opportunity to behuman with you.
You know so when you have shownthat maybe everything's not
perfect or you're a littlenervous, or these are some
things you need from me, it letsme know you're not judging me
and that we can be open andconnected together.
So it is powerful.

Brooke (29:03):
Yeah.

Ashley (29:04):
And we know we don't have it together either.
So, don't feel like you have tobe perfect for the teacher.

Becca (29:09):
I'm already like I'm sorry we're on the struggle bus
this morning, whatever, andthey're like girl, it's okay.

Ashley (29:14):
We're all in this together.
Yes, we are.

Becca (29:16):
And I'm just like oh, thank you, Because that just
takes an automatic weight off.

Brooke (29:21):
Yeah.

Becca (29:23):
When you feel like they've got your back.
We're on the same team feellike they've got your back,
we're on the same team.
They've got extra pencils.
It's okay, because I'm like ohgosh, I forgot.
That's the one thing I forgoton their school list this year.
I'm like pencils Break yourfinger, use your foot.
No, I'm kidding, I know.

Clint (29:38):
My son was like they might not use pencils, though I
don't know the Chromebook,they're like two packs of these
pencils, and I did.

Becca (29:50):
We've already lost them, it's fine, Right?
And Logan told me yesterdayhe's like oh, yeah, I've gone
this whole time without pencils.
He's like, yeah, the teachergives me one every day, it's
fine.
And I'm like oh bless.
It's okay, but I did, I respondor you know, emailed her and
she's like it's fine, we havenot even worried about it, these
are no concerns.
So teachers like that, I justadore and appreciate.

Clint (30:14):
There's a lot of schools represented.
So my kids for the first timewere at Majors.
They've been at Arnold andWhite Oak for the last seven
years, I guess, and you're atRuth Hill Elementary School, so
yours are at Western.

Malinda (30:32):
Arnold and White Oak and East Coweta.

Clint (30:35):
And East Coweta.
Oh, we've got an Indian ACIndian.

Brooke (30:37):
How about that?
We've got to get you over here.

Clint (30:40):
And then Brooke Ella's at Atkinson, atkinson and right
here in downtown New York, sothere's all kinds of schools
here in the Coweta county that'srepresented.
I you know my experience so farwith coweta county school
system.
Um, it's rare that I've metsomeone in the conversations
that's working for the schoolthat doesn't want what's best

(31:04):
for the kids that are in theirclassroom, and sometimes,
honestly, with having kind of aninside view with my wife
working in the Coweta CountySchool System, but then also
just my role here in thecommunity and our role with
teachers, I found that sometimesteachers' hopes and their

(31:27):
dreams and their wishes fortheir kids are very aligned with
parents in terms of safety andlearning, and not just physical
safety but like just feelinglike they have a safe place to
learn, like those align.
So often the thing thatdistracts us most is teachers
are overwhelmed with a lot ofother things to do that have

(31:50):
nothing to do with that for thekids and sometimes they're a
little unsupported.
And I know I've seen that mywife's been teaching for 16, 17
years and so when we plantedfoundation, one of the things
that I knew that I thought, orat least I felt that if we could
make a difference if we wantedto change things in our

(32:12):
community and when I say change,I don't mean noon, that's
broken, but I do mean that anycommunity has a lot of
brokenness in it, regardless ofwhere you go, that it would
start in the heart of whatNoonan is, which is any thriving
city is their children.
And when you think through, howdo you impact children in a very

(32:33):
positive way?
The no-brainer thing to me isto support teachers, because
teachers spend an exorbitantamount of time with those
children that are the heart ofany thriving community.
And so when we think through,hey, how do we take care of
teachers?
Obviously I think there's 32public schools, maybe in Coweta
County, and so you know you cango a mile wide and then only be

(32:59):
an inch deep, and so we haven'tbeen able to figure out how do
we do this for 32 schools.
So we just picked one or twoand now it's grown to three or
four where we just want toinvest heavily and do our very
best to make the teachers thereand the administration there the
lunchroom ladies, janitorialstaff, parapros, like the whole

(33:20):
thing just make them feel like,hey, someone else has got my
back and maybe let them knowthat people are seeing all the
hard things and that it's worthpushing through the hard things
to get back to the main thing,which is educating kids not just
with standards, but eventuallyyou're going to grow up and be a

(33:44):
really great human being.
That's then our community isgoing to benefit from who God's
made you to be, and so I thinkone of the things that everyone
needs to hear is we need to finda way to bring more
encouragement to the educatorsin our life, whether that's
people that are doing ithomeschool and leading those

(34:06):
cohorts and creatingopportunities for all these
homeschool crew to get together,public school teachers the
whole thing.
We need to be thinking more inthat vein of.
If we honestly want to do thevery best job at setting our
kids up for the greatest success, then we need to make sure
we're enormous encouragers ofthose who are driving the

(34:27):
majority of that time, which arethose people at the schools.
And so I know sometimes, whenwe're anxious about things, a
lot of times the negativeovershadows anything.
Something bad happens andsuddenly we're on a rampage
because not my kid and wesometimes have the ability to

(34:49):
ignore all of the other reallygreat things that have gone
right in the school system forour kids, because this is a
glaring thing and I think we'vegot to be careful as just human
beings and community members, tomake sure that we're doing our
part.
On the encouragement side, Ithink no one's going to fight

(35:11):
for your kid more than youshould and you shouldn't expect
anyone else to.
They're not.
You know that kid's not anyoneelse's kids.
No one's going to fight harderfor you, so you should fight
extremely hard mama bear, papabear, whatever analogy you want
to use but I think we need tomake sure that same intensity is
put into the encouragement ofteachers as it is into the hey,

(35:35):
you know not with my kid kind ofthing.
Have you experienced likepositive, negative things from
parents?
Is that one of the things youstress about when you're
thinking about the school year?
I know you mentioned thatsometimes there's a little bit
of a at your school inparticular, there's a little bit

(35:55):
of lack of parent engagement orparent involvement.
But how do you handle that whenyou're thinking like I mean,
obviously your heart's ondisplay.
You shared kind of your heartwith us, but still, like you're
a teacher of the year and thenteacher of the year for the
county and like almost like forthe whole freaking country.

Brooke (36:12):
Yes.

Clint (36:13):
But that doesn't mean that you're perfect, right.
So I'm sure at some point Imean maybe I mean pretty awesome
things nonstop about you, butlet's just pretend for a second
that one person was angry atsome point.

Ashley (36:25):
My husband could give you examples.
He's not here, so we have none,that's right.

Clint (36:31):
How do you deal with that from a teacher standpoint?
And the heart for kids, butalso the reality that it is.
I mean, how many kids do youhave right now?

Ashley (36:40):
I'm fortunate this year I'm starting off with only 16.

Clint (36:43):
Oh, let's go.
So I have a small beautifulnumber that's a great

Becca (36:47):
ratio Today, today, yes, today, it could be today.
Next week, my stepdad wouldknock on.

Ashley (36:52):
So we are blessed we have really small class sizes
but yes, I think my very big.
I love teaching.
I feel like I was.
You know you spoke to when youfound your purpose, like
teachers who know that this iswhat they're meant to do.
I know the exact instant Idecided I grew up thinking I
wanted to.
I always knew I wanted to workwith children and make

(37:13):
children's lives better.
I thought I wanted to be inchild advocacy.
I went to college to go.
I was getting a degree in childpsychology.
I wanted to apply to law schooland I sat in one teacher's
classroom kindergarten teacher,ms Olson and she taught in Bibb
County schools, near Maconpublic schools, and she was very
different than the dynamic ofthe families that she interacted

(37:35):
with and taught.
She was very quiet.
She was so powerful and theconnection, how you saw the joy
that students show Brooke whenthey see her.
The kids would walk into herclassroom and there would just
be this joy and my hours I hadto put in her room changed my
career path.
Like that's what I want, likethat's the front line.
You know if I'm a lawyer I'mgoing to be so.
I love coming to work.

(37:56):
I really do love.
When summer break ends, I usedto cry over school breaks.
I don't do that anymore Now I'mthankful for them.
But it is very intimidating andoverwhelming when you really
feel like you are doing the verybest you know to do and you are
hit with what feels to becriticism or just an

(38:22):
unsupportive, almost aggressionfrom a parent that you would
literally and have to train forand not like step in front of a
bullet for I would not go hometo make sure your kid goes home
and I feel like I'm beingattacked and I think that's why
it feels so personal to me whena parent is unpleased.

(38:42):
Because my job is so personalto me, I put so much of my heart
in it.
But yes, I recently it wasn'tto me directly, it was just to
my school but recently hadparent displeasure with an event
we were trying to host atschool and really trying to make
it different and moreapproachable for our families,
because the classroom can bepretty intimidating for parents

(39:04):
too, especially if parentsweren't successful as students.
So, instead of the first time,you meeting me coming into my
classroom where I look like theexpert and you're coming into my
territory and you feel maybejudged or want to be the perfect
parent.
I was part of a team that weplanned.
We called it a block party.
Outside it did end up beingrather warm.

(39:24):
So the weather was not in ourfavor August in Georgia.
But instead of like aconstructive criticism, of thank
you for the effort, but nexttime can we reconsider.
Maybe the time of day it wasmet with some pretty
non-supportive almost like itwas like thoughtless that the

(39:45):
school would do this one.
Really it was like thoughtlessthat the school would do this
one.
Really it was very thoughtful.
So I think that's the hardestpart is, no matter how
passionate or purposeful orwell-intended you are, to
understand that there is, thereare people out there who are
going to let their, theirfrustrations, their anxieties
speak for them more than they'regoing their gratitudes, and I

(40:07):
think in public school that's abig thing.
And the way society is now andwhat the news shows and the
things you see, I think parentsare afraid of, like how do I?
There's no cameras in theclassroom.
How do I even know that mychild is being well spoken to,
respected, loved?
Maybe they've had badexperiences themselves and so,
as a teacher who would neverlike I, I do make mistakes, but

(40:29):
I would never disrespect astudent.
When I met with a parent whojust seems extremely frustrated
or upset with me, it stops me inmy tracks, it breaks my heart.
To be honest, I carry it home.
I can't sleep.
So I think, yeah, that is a biganxiety of the start of a

(40:51):
school year, especially becauseyou don't know the parents yet
and they don't know you yet.
So if I mess up in these firstcouple of weeks it might damage
the whole year of relationship.
So when a parent reaches out tome and says this is where we're
coming from, this is what Ineed from you.
That allows me the opportunityto build that connection also.
But I think I'm rambling, but Ido.

Clint (41:11):
That makes sense?

Brooke (41:12):
No, it does for sure.

Ashley (41:13):
It's very nerve wracking it's overwhelming.

Clint (41:16):
How is your faith playing a role in that conflict when,
obviously, you feel like, hey, Iwas a part of a team that made
a really great decision that wewere thinking about I mean,
honestly, it sounds like youwere thinking about people who
would typically be disconnectedfrom the educational system as a

(41:38):
whole and trying to prioritizethem over anything else.
Yes, and you feel like I've gota really good case, and then,
obviously, whoever has thecomplaints also feels like
they've got a really good case,and then, obviously, whoever has
the complaints also feels likethey've got a really good case.
So how does faith play a rolein how you handle conflict, even
when you think this is stillthe right thing to do?

Ashley (42:00):
I have learned, as my faith has and I'm new to faith a
redeveloping, regrowing myrelationship with God.
It abruptly stopped about sixyears ago, so I've kind of over
the last year, startedrebuilding.
But through that, through thecommunity of faith-goers that
are around me and the supportthat a church-like foundation

(42:23):
and being part of that, and howy'all pour into teachers to know
that I'm not alone, I don'thave to be so protective and
feisty the word that you used Ican take a breath and I've
learned how to just try to seeit from their eyes.
So before I respond, I feel allthe things, but just breathing
and really thinking throughtheir perspective and is there

(42:46):
legitimacy to it?
Because there's going to be,there's going to be something
that they're right about andthey have a good case.
So trying to see that validatethat you're right, it was hot or
you're.
You know you are correct, thiscould have been better, it
wasn't a perfectly ran event andthen just trying to stay
encouraging and moving forwardbecause I don't want to break
that relationship.

(43:07):
So I don't want.
I want it to get closer to themand very similar to what you
speak to of.
You know, we don't want to bearound people who just are just
like us or believe like that, orwho just want to cheerlead for
us.
We need to bring in the peoplewho you know this could be an
opponent, and so, let's, we wantto get on the same team.
So I think it just, especiallyif it's a parent.

(43:29):
That's our community, that'swho I'm here for, for their kids
.
So I need, I need to heal thatrelationship.
So I think faith gives me thatthe ability to step outside
myself and think about thebigger picture and really what's
my purpose in this role, and soI can tell them all my personal
concerns with what they said.
But that relationship will becompletely broken.
Or I can try to take a breath,see it from their side, and how

(43:52):
do we move forward?
I can't, I'm not going to fixwhat they're upset about, but
what?

Brooke (44:00):
can I do moving forward to bring them in and to comfort?
I love that you brought up themoving forward part, because
immediately hearing the story ofthis is what happened.
It had the very best intentionand a parent came in hot and I
immediately thought there havebeen times that, as a parent, I
have come in hot and then goingback and I hope, I would hope

(44:20):
that once the parent heard thestory of, hey, this is why, this
is why we did it, Like we weretrying to be more engaging, more
just, inclusive, like all thesethings that they were like oh,
let me take my little chill pillfor a minute, you know, but
then thinking through as well,coming back after that.
That's a bit embarrassingbecause I don't know how they

(44:42):
acted, but there for sure havebeen times where I have showed
my tail and having to come backafter that and rebuild that
relationship from my standpointand not think I'm going to come
in here and I'm either going tocontinue the way I'm acting or
I'm going to have to eat crow.
But like, how is the best casescenario of a parent flipping

(45:05):
the switch on that, Of it notbeing oh, that's that mom that
lost her poo about the cookoutyou know like how do you rebuild
that to?
get in that healthy place of hey, we're a community here, we're
here for each other, we want totrust each other.
I want to bring to you myconcerns and I want to be in a
place where I'll receive yourconcerns.
Like, how, how do we come backfrom that, that hot moment,

(45:26):
literally, and you know,metaphorically, like, how do we
come back from that, that hotmoment, literally?
And you know, metaphorically,like, how do we come back from
that as a parent?
How do people come back fromthat as a teacher standpoint?
Like, what does that look like?

Ashley (45:38):
I think that is the team mentality and I think we've
lost that and that's where wereally need to rebuild is that
we are all on the same team andwe are all working.
Like you said, teachers aretrying to keep safe and protect
and build character and allthose things, and that's what
parents want for their kid.
And so, just like if youdropped a pass in the big game
and the quarterback threw thatperfect spiral and you're in the

(46:00):
end zone and then you're theone with the you know the
butterfingers and you drop it,there might be some discomfort
and some animosities and some,but at some point we've, we've
got to just hey, my bad.
I mean, to me it's that easy.
Like my bad, I was out of line,or I do feel like I was right,
but maybe I could havecommunicated, because I do

(46:21):
respect you and I do know thatyou're important for my child,
um, and so what can we do?
I think just those words.
We don't even have to talkabout that.
But what can we do?
I think just those words, wedon't even have to talk about
that.
But what can we do, movingforward to get to a good place
where we are both on the samepage.
You do.
You do have my respect,hopefully, and I do think
there's teachers who loseparents' respect and lose

(46:45):
parents' trust.
So I think teachers being ableto say that same thing hey, you
caught me on an off day andthere's no excuse for the way I
spoke to you, my tone, mydismissiveness I think that's
probably more of a one thatparents want to be validated and
seen.
Teachers do as well, I'm sure,and teachers yes yes, you're
human.
That moment wasn't our brightest.
I know it was uncomfortable forall of us.

(47:06):
But what can we now do?
You know, moving forward.
I was, you know, you and I haveshared a conversation where I
was like Brooke, I think I was alittle childish and I was, you
know, I was a little judgmentaland I am sorry, and let's move
forward and build a relationship.
So I think when you makerelationships the center,
especially when it comes toparent and teacher, your ego has

(47:28):
to step aside.
What you want is the best foryour kid.
As a parent, you have to beconnected to that teacher and as
a teacher, what I want is themost growth, success, learning,
outcome.
I need to be as connected as Ican be to the parent.

Clint (47:42):
Yeah, I agree, I think you can do it that way, or a
year and a half from now.
You can also just say next timeyou address me, call me Dr
Castle.

Brooke (47:54):
So you can write that down as well for your next
response.

Clint (47:57):
I hear you, but I actually didn't hear you because
don't call me Ashley, don'tcall me Ms Castles, it's Dr to
you there you go Doctor.
You write that in cursive foryou.

Ashley (48:08):
I got pretty handwriting .
I didn't practice cursive inschool.

Clint (48:11):
We don't teach that anymore.

Brooke (48:12):
That's right, it's out of here, If you want to send me
an email on your Chromebook,though we would know.

Clint (48:18):
That's right, that's a whole other conversation.
I'm 100% against Chromebooks.
I them same.
I.
I wish join the club like if itwasn't for my wife, who is an
advocate for teachers.

Brooke (48:32):
Go figure, as a teacher we'd set them on fire?

Clint (48:33):
I would, I would, I would tell, I would tell the whole
public school system.
My kids are not using them.
Yep, zero chances.
Uh, they're not coming, they'renot allowed in my house.
Don't, don't do it, I don'twant them.
Yeah, we're not going to do it,I don't.
I'm not signing a piece ofpaper saying I'm responsible for
them.
It breaks it.
It's your problem if you giveit to them Zero.
I wish I could say that.

Brooke (48:53):
But we just signed the paper and then we let our kid
run away from home.

Clint (48:56):
That's right.
Get on it.
It's fine.
We're fine, it's fine.
How do you feel as a teacher?
How do you feel about Chrome?

Ashley (49:12):
I think also elementary school is different.
I just think there's somethingvery authentic about
paper-pencil, about hands-on,about manipulatives, about
conversation.
So my classroom is a lot morediscussion-based, it's a lot
more doing projects.
We don't use the Chromebooks,dr.

Clint (49:33):
Horton, I'm going to ask that you would step down, and
Ashley is going to take your.
I'm just kidding.

Brooke (49:39):
Yes, where do we sign?

Ashley (49:40):
And there's some things that we have to with the
decisions being made and I think, cost-effectiveness being one
of them, not having textbooks,not having Sure, which I think
have made a way to, they'restarting to come back.
Yay, I'm sorry.
Reading curriculum and stuff ismore in your hands, but a lot
of the programs and that kind ofthing.

(50:01):
So it's easier to have kids logon and no matter where your
kids are or what they have.
They can have access and thosekind of things.
But as far as instruction inyour classroom, you lose the
relationship piece when we'reall looking here instead of up
here.
And one thing one of ourspecific goals at our school
this year is increasing theverbal communication within our

(50:23):
students.
And I know, I noticed that athome as a mom with Brianna.
She'll be in the backseat withher friends and she's raised as
an only child.
All her siblings are out ofthat, you know, grown, and so
it's just us and we'll.
She'll be in the backseat ofthe friend and they'll just be
silent, like she just got in thecar, like how?

Becca (50:40):
are you not beaming with things Right, not going?

Ashley (50:41):
crazy but it's, and I noticed that in the class they
don't really know how tocommunicate.
They watch other families ontheir devices and watch what
other people do, and they're notreally learning how how to do
it themselves.
So I think in the classroom,especially as much technology as
most kids do have at home andthe time they spend on at home,
I do intentionally try to limitthat so we have more of the eye

(51:04):
contact, the conversation, andI'm developing as your teacher.
I get to know you much betterif I'm watching you write,
watching you talk, watching youparticipate, not participate,
lead not lead those kind ofthings that a Chromebook stifles
sometimes which grade are youteaching?

Clint (51:19):
this year You're teaching .

Ashley (51:20):
Fifth grade this year.
Fifth grade this year.

Clint (51:21):
So I'm taking my kids out of sixth and eighth grade.
We're going back to fifth gradeIn my head.

Brooke (51:26):
I'm like how do we just like duplicate Ashley, that's
right.

Ashley (51:30):
How do we just?
You mentioned Western.
Dana DiGennaro, the assistantprincipal at Western, is to me
like such a mentor.
She's a dear friend but a hugementor.
Cheryl McCharge is very smartand gifted in education at
Western Elm Street that's rightacross the corner.
I'm just giving shout-outs tovery passionate Molly Bryant at
Elm Street.
Super purposeful, passionateRebecca Craver, who just became

(51:58):
the math specialist for CowetaCounty, the content specialist,
Huge, passionate, purposefulpeople in education.
Austin Martin at Moreland sothroughout the county, at least
I can speak for elementaryschool Purposeful.

Clint (52:12):
Paula.

Ashley (52:12):
Corley, who I believe is at White Oak, just implanted
throughout, and some of themhuge advocates of technology.
Chromebooks, sure, but I thinkit's also the way in which it's
implemented.
Yes, and how it's being used.
If you are working with apartner and y'all are developing
a project through yourtechnology a Google Slides, a
Canva that's very different thanlog on and do these problems.

(52:34):
So I think the intention andthe use of the technology in the
classroom because a lot ofthose people are techie and they
love it, but it's not a sit anddo, it's a collaborate.

Brooke (52:45):
Well, and the reality is , we are in a world where things
are becoming moretechnologically advanced, and so
those skill sets are important.

Clint (52:54):
However, yeah, my son loves them just to play games,
yes, and so those skill sets areimportant.
However, yeah, my son lovesthem just to play games?
Yes, and so he sits in thepenalty box, that's whatever I
don't know, that's what theycall it when he's they like lock
his Chromebook down.
Sorry, I'm just throwing youall over the internet, but he
just loves like he does his work, he gets done and then he just
plays games.
And then he is, he's lockedinto whatever game, which at
first it was like these areeducational games.

(53:16):
I can't remember what were theycalled Gallopade or something?
No, like they're games that youcan earn things.
He's like I'm earning stuff andI'm doing math problems, and
it's like that's 4% learning,like 96%, you're just playing
some kind of whatever.
And so he kind of stays lockeddown on that Chromebook every
once in a while, which makes itmore difficult for teachers
because they tell him to dosomething he doesn't have access

(53:37):
to it.
It's so.
So it's a little frustrating,but I would for sure be a huge
advocate of of Chromebooks thathad to stay at school and only
were used minimally.
I also fan of banningsmartphones at school.
I'm a huge fan.
I don't know if, uh, if, we'rey' sit on it, but I just I like,
hey, look, I get it.

(53:57):
Kids need to be able to calltheir parents if there's an
emergency, which a normal dumbphone can do, but the smartphone
is unrestricted access to theinternet for kids.
As a pastor who sits with a lotof families, it's pretty rare
that I'm sitting with a familythat says this smartphone has

(54:19):
changed my kid's life for thebetter.
When I say rare, I actuallydon't have one single
conversation I can think of.
It is always the Internet orsomeone on the Internet or
something on the Internet hascaused a lot of heartbreak or
dysfunction, dysfunctionalthoughts or just no good.

(54:42):
So I there's a site called waituntil eighth that I'm a huge
advocate for.
I tell as many people aspossible and their whole thing
is they're trying to gatherpeople that will in community
say hey, we want to supporteducators that want phones,
smartphones, not to be a part ofthe classroom setting.
And I wish Coweta County wouldget behind it.

(55:04):
Which parents would be lividright, I get it.

Brooke (55:07):
I already know like my kid.

Clint (55:09):
It's like all right, cool , your kid can still text.
You call you.
All those things you know,they're just, they're just not
going to be able to.
You know all those things youknow they're just not going to
be able to.
You know, watch porn on theirphone when it's, you know, when
the teacher's teaching with ahoodie up and an AirPod in, you
know, or any other situationthat might come up, which is a

(55:32):
completely different thing.
So how do you feel about thatas a parent?
You don't have to agree with meat all.
There's no pressure.
I'm just curious.

Malinda (55:39):
I think it would be a great idea.
All right, there's two of us.

Clint (55:42):
There's two of us, Clint and Melinda.
We are leading the charge.
That's it.
As a teacher, where do you fall?
On that Again, you don't haveto agree at all.

Ashley (55:51):
Well at allow our students to access their phones
during the school day.
Okay, so they can stay in theirbook bags because we understand
you might go home and you needto let your parent know you're
safe, but they come in there.

Clint (56:00):
Is that just Ruth Hill?
Or are all schools typicallysaying hey, that's my?

Ashley (56:04):
understanding is that's that the County standard is my
understanding.
I know at Evans and Smokey umSmokey road middle school.
I think that's been a big pushto keep those distractions away.
My biggest concern with cellphones as a teacher is last year

(56:24):
was my first year in fifthgrade since cell phones.
I did it many moons ago and itwas the sole biggest contributor
to bullying fights, unsafety inthe classroom.
A feeling of insecurity waswhat was happening at home on

(56:47):
the smartphones when the kidsare in their rooms or hanging
out with friends and it's notbeing super.
You know we have fifth graderswith Snapchat and it would.
So things would come in theclassroom that I have no even
awareness of and it would justblow up.
And if that cell phone wasremoved, there is no doubt that
those problems wouldn't haveeven existed.

Brooke (57:08):
You know.

Ashley (57:08):
So just that I have a I like the wait until eighth.
First, kids even havesmartphones, let alone them be
in the classroom.

Brooke (57:16):
Yeah, sure, which it is a, let alone them be in the
classroom.
Yeah, for sure which.

Clint (57:18):
it is a go ahead.
No, you go ahead.

Brooke (57:19):
It is a super hard thing , I know, for us.
We have a blended family and so, whereas with Ella, who is in
her mom and dad are in the samehome, we have a lot more control
over.
You don't need a cell phone,you can walk, we have a
relationship with someone at theschool, you can, they can call

(57:39):
me, that kind of thing, whereaswith our boys and my daughter
they would go to their otherparents home or like there was
and a phone wouldn't always beavailable for them to call me
and like all those things.
And so there definitely is that.
Sure you hate to say exceptionto the rule, because there's
really a really good exceptionto the rule, but for sure we

(58:00):
should have just gotten, youknow, a jitterbug or caroline or
a firefly, whatever they'recalled.
Like we should have gotten thatfor them at that age instead of
a smartphone.
Um, I think the hard thing isand car Caroline is a sweet
Caroline.
She's a tender heart and forsure she would have gotten

(58:20):
bullied horribly if I had senther to school with that.
You know, you can call thesefour people.
One of them is 9-1-1.
Like she would have been sobullied, or one of those little
Nokia's Right, like it wouldhave been so bad and she
wouldn't have said a word.
She just would have gottenbullied and not said anything.
And then I would have found outand I would have been livid and
shown my parent tail.

(58:41):
But you know, that is such thehard thing that when you have
kiddos that aren't going to bethe spicy kids that speak up and
say you're not going to believewhat someone said to me today,
they're going to be the onesthat you're like baby, why are
you crying?
Nothing, I just had a bad day.
And they keep it to themselveswhen really you know she had
that four person phone call.

Ashley (59:02):
That, which is also another uh, like to keep the
phones away?
Yep, like.
So there's not comparing ofwhat apps I have and what you're
not overly exposing.
I got iPhone 15, 15, what yougot, yes, no, and they do know
they do If I get a new phone,miss Castles, is that and I
don't have a new phone now, butis that a da-da-da Like?

Brooke (59:20):
you are seven Like they'll come in off the bus.

Ashley (59:23):
knowing the name, the type, yes.

Becca (59:25):
How do you use it?

Brooke (59:27):
Yeah, yeah, they'll show you things.
Yeah, and you're like, how'dyou call from?

Ashley (59:32):
there, brianna has, like the Inspector, gadget watch,
the Gizmo watch from Verizon andso that way when she goes to
friends and stuff she can, butit is, I mean, and it's all out
loud, so there's no privacy.
So yeah, when she's 13, thatwould be a little different, it
would be hard.

Brooke (59:47):
Yeah, how is it, from your perspective, thinking
through the lens of havingkiddos, that do your kiddos have
phones and all that?

Malinda (59:59):
kind of stuff, not now.
They did.
Well, my older son did.
I wish there was an option forhim, because I'm divorced and so
it would be nice to have it'skind of like.
It's difficult for me, you know, I can call his dad to talk to
him, but sometimes his dad's notat home and he doesn't have a
home phone, and so something I'mjust trying to look into is

(01:00:19):
something I can have at home.
But, yeah, going into that'sthe one thing for my older son,
like he's brought it up againbecause he's like probably the
only kid now that your son's notat school that doesn't have a
phone.
But right now we're just, youknow, we're just going with it,
and he's in seventh grade andI'm trying to hold out as long
as I can, but I think that it's.

(01:00:41):
It is difficult to make thatdecision, but I do think, like
internet, social media, there'sno reason.
No, my daughters had um, socialmedia, not all of them, but
like, like instagram, and stillI feel like that just sucked
them in.
I I think for boys and girlsit's different, like I noticed
different things, like mydaughter's, just like you know

(01:01:02):
the comparing and all that stuff, and I feel like I wish I would
not have let her have that.
So young, my oldest and yeah,but I feel like now I feel like
our generation, with the kidsyou know, my older, that's when
it was first coming out andnobody really knew.

Brooke (01:01:17):
And then now like yeah, my nine-year-old said I'm about
to be the only kid without aphone and I'm like what it's
crazy, but I will say as anencouragement to you you said
your son doesn't have his phoneright now.
Our 23-year-old lost his phonefor an entire school year and
anytime anything has ever beenbrought up with a discipline

(01:01:37):
issue, like a school issue,anything he's like, take the
phone away, take the phone away.
That's the best decision you'reever going to make, brooke.
Just take the phone away.
And he still says it was one ofthe best things we ever did for
him to take his phone away.
And he just didn't have accessto it for a year, so
encouragement for you thatthey're not going to say it
right now, but when they're intheir twenties they will be so
thankful.

Clint (01:02:00):
On the wait till eighthorg website.
It's got a list of phones thatare not internet capable.
They're not smartphones at all.
They function like like.
I guess phones used to be likethe next tail.
I don't know if y'all had anext tail.
They don't have the DD, butthey have.
You know, they function like adumb phone, and so they've got a
list of them and they've got acouple of them that are legit.

(01:02:23):
The problem is they're notgoing to be blue bubbles if
they're friends or iPhone users,just the worst, they're going
to be green bubble people, whichI make fun of in my friend
circle.

Brooke (01:02:33):
It's like dude you are ruining my group message.

Clint (01:02:38):
So get with the iPhone and figure it out quick.
You know what I'm saying.
I mean I'm not saying we can'tbe friends because I'm a pastor
and I'm biblical, but in myheart that's what I feel.
So for sure.
I mean I'm putting them on that, but when I think about it,
when I think about it, when Ithink about the lack of phone
smartness, smartphones orwhatever, whenever we make that

(01:02:59):
step with E because he's ouroldest, he's 13, I know, like
you said, that there are goingto be people that are like
that's the dumbest thing I'veever seen.
Your phone doesn't X, y, z,whatever.
You're not on this, that andthe other.
I know that's going to happen.

(01:03:19):
E is not as outspoken as I am.
He internalized a lot of things.
Hadley is completely different.
She will say anything to anyoneat any time, but E won't.
However, as I've processed it,the conclusion I've come to as a
dad is I know that very wellabout E and I also know that

(01:03:42):
will be a problem he will face.
But those two things I feellike I have a much better
opportunity at leading himthrough than the unknown of
unrestricted internet access,which also guarantees that
anyone else in the entire worldcould have unrestricted access

(01:04:03):
to him.
That's a battle I don't knowhow to fight, because it's a
battle.
I don't know when it starts orif he even realizes it started.
But the other two, I can preparehim for the other two.
I can remind him hey, dude,you've got goals about being a
Division I athlete, and so whenpeople say, hey, why don't you

(01:04:23):
have social media, this andother, you just simply tell them
I don't have time because mygoals are too big to allow me to
have time to do those things.
I can prepare him with answers.
I can prepare him to say hey,you've got to be comfortable in
your own skin, even when you'renot comfortable in your own skin
, and you've got to show someconfidence, even sometimes when
you're not confident, justbecause God's never going to

(01:04:49):
leave you and walk by yourselfall alone through anything.
And even if it doesn't feellike it, he still made a promise
he's with you through anything.
And even if it doesn't feellike it, he still made a promise
he's with you.
And then I also want that mykids to know that there's not a
single school policy on theplanet that would keep me from
protecting my children.
It doesn't exist and I know, asembarrassing as that would be

(01:05:11):
for me to show up on campus andprobably breaking a law at some
point for me to show up oncampus and probably breaking a
law at some point they're goingto be okay, they're going to be
all right and I'm going to fightfor them and I want them to
know that I'll fight for themand I also want them to know
that they've got incredibleteachers that also will fight

(01:05:33):
for them, that when they show up, their thought is I want every
one of my kids, which includesEmerson and Hadley, to have a
really great day at school todayand that when the school year
begins to come to a close, thattheir hope is.
I hope this school year is onethey'll never forget and was
impactful, and I hope that thework I did as a teacher has set

(01:05:57):
them up for the grade to come,because every year builds on one
another and slowly but surely,each teacher gets to have a
small say in the building blocksthat create the human being
that they're going to become,and sometimes those building
blocks are a little shaky.
Not every teacher again wakesup in the morning and eats and

(01:06:22):
sleeps and breathes the idea ofstudent success and passion for
it.
But most of the teachers I'vemet that's their hope and if we
can keep encouraging andequipping them, caring for them
puts them in the very best placeto do that for the kids that
honestly we would do anythingfor.
And then, as parents, if we canlimit their obstacles and not

(01:06:45):
add to it as best we can, toknow the battles they're going
to fight, before they have tofight them as best we can, so
that we can prepare them as bestwe can, as best we can, so that
we can prepare them as best wecan.
And then at the end of the dayMelinda, I think honestly you
said it at the beginning likethey're my kids, but even before
they were my kids they wereGod's kids.

(01:07:06):
And long after I'm gone I willhave no ability to protect them
when I breathe my last breath,but he still will, and so I
think my faith's just got togrow.
I've got to prepare like Godwill never intervene, but then
have faith like he could doanything without me, without me

(01:07:28):
ever have done any preparationat all, and that's kind of the
approach we've got to take.
I'm super pumped that the twoof you came and joined us today.

Ashley (01:07:38):
Yeah thanks.

Clint (01:07:39):
Thanks for hanging out and having a school discussion.
For those of you who arelistening or watching, we're
going to be having someconversations this fall as we
move forward with, I think, somepretty interesting guests.
This was just kind of thekickoff of our fall podcast

(01:08:00):
season with the Flatbill Pastorpodcast, and I enjoyed our
conversation.
This is good.
I did too, Becca Brooke, anyclosing thoughts?

Brooke (01:08:08):
Yeah, I'm again just to kind of reiterate what he said.
I'm super thankful for just thewillingness to be transparent
about some parent concerns thatare some of my parent concerns
as well, that we are in thistogether and it's not just me
being crazy, that these arelegitimate.
And two again, you hit the nailon the head.
One of the biggest things issaying, hey, these are God's

(01:08:31):
kids.
One of the hardest things isliving that out, but again, with
community and reminding myselfand others of that, it'll just
be a habit you have to create.
I'm also super pumped andexcited and ready to have
conversations that scared thebejesus out of me with Ella's

(01:08:51):
teachers, but I know, if I wantto set her up for success, it's
one of the most important thingsand to look at it as a glass
half full thing instead of aglass half empty because, my
kiddos' teachers are probablyhoping the exact same thing.

Becca (01:09:06):
Absolutely yes, they are that relationship yes.
Yes, I definitely feelencouraged after this
conversation, as a parent too,and know that I'm not alone.
So I thank y'all for coming andhaving this talk.
Yep, thank y'all, thank you.

Brooke (01:09:25):
Cool Until next time.

Clint (01:09:27):
Episode Lucky 13.
Lucky 13.
Comes to a close.