We Have Been Trying To Reach You

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:03):
Welcome everyone, coming to you directly from the
luxurious OLR Studios, this isTempleton.
Where is Las Vegas?

SPEAKER_04 (00:10):
This is Sweet Baby Jay.
Can I see what you just saidwritten on paper?
This is Melina.
It is the biggest

SPEAKER_03 (00:17):
spider I've ever seen in my life.
This is Grizz.
After this, I'm going to get offhere and I'm going to dragon
them balls.
This is the Arrogant Yeti.
At least I know 2 plus 2 is 5.
And this is the FMJ Podcast.

SPEAKER_04 (00:36):
That is beautiful.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, serious face.
Serious face, because it'sserious time.
And welcome back to anotherbeautiful episode of Two Broke
Guys and a Microphone.

SPEAKER_01 (00:58):
Where

SPEAKER_04 (01:00):
we are absolutely struggling on this struggle bus
with just nothing more than ourmicrophone.
And that's just, uh, just how itis.
But, you know, formerly known asthe FMJ podcast.
So fucking stupid.

(01:21):
It's great.
Okay.
Well, uh, We have a wonderfulshow to get to.
First and foremost, I would liketo take roll call.
And when you hear your name,please say you're here.
Say present, okay?
Let me start with Melina.

(01:43):
Melina?
Anybody see Melina?
No?
No?
Okay.
G-Riz?
G-Riz.
Looking for a G-Riz?
Anybody?
Nobody?
Somebody?
Okay.
Moving on.
T.
Impleton?

(02:05):
T.
Impleton.
Please say present if you hearyour name.
No T.
Impleton?
Okay.
Yeti?
Here.
Present.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
what's your pulse look like

SPEAKER_03 (02:20):
it's uh it's 212 good sir 212

SPEAKER_04 (02:26):
that sounds uh sounds awfully high uh what is
that is that is that is thatboiling point of water that that
is

SPEAKER_03 (02:38):
i don't know i thought i got it right i mean i
thought 212 i mean is it I don'tknow.
It could be my stress leveltoday.
It

SPEAKER_04 (02:44):
very well could be because it's stressful right
now.
And I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know what to do with myhands.
Just don't put them in yourpants.
I'm not going to put them in mypants.
Hand check.
They're up here the whole time.
They're up here the wholefucking time.
Wait, they've gone below thecamera.
Okay.

(03:05):
So, Yeti, go ahead and tell uswhat your pulse looks like.
How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_03 (03:10):
Well, I want to share this funny little story
with you real quick.

SPEAKER_04 (03:14):
Share that story.

SPEAKER_03 (03:15):
Yeah, it kind of bled in today a little bit.
So the other night, or lastnight, I was playing some Xbox,
and I was on vacation this week,and I decided about 3 a.m.
I was going to call it quits,came upstairs.
I was like, you know, before Ido this, I have to go take a
piss.
Oh.
So I walked into the bathroom togo take a piss, and as I was

(03:36):
peeing, I was like...
Do I got a little rumble downthere?
Do I got a drop?
Do I got poo-poo?
Yeah, you know?
And I was like, you know what?
I was like, you know what?
Let me just be safe.
I don't want to wake up in anhour and be like, oh, I really
did have to go, and I just kindof pushed it underneath the rug.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was like, I have my handsin my pocket, and I was like,

(03:57):
oh, my phone's in my pocket.
I was like, you know what Idon't need?
I don't want to drop my drawersand the phone hits the ground
and it breaks, right?
Are

SPEAKER_01 (04:05):
you following?

SPEAKER_03 (04:07):
I'm with you.
So I reach in my pocket and I goto take the phone out and at 3
in the morning all I hear is

SPEAKER_01 (04:18):
BASH! I've never gotten into some nasty ass
water! So quickly in my life.
I reached in that motherfucker.
I pulled

SPEAKER_03 (04:37):
my phone out.
I'm causing up a storm.
And keep in mind, I have apregnant wife in the room next
to me.
So I'm rinsing my phone off.
I get a warning on my phone thatsays there's moisture in your
phone.
Ah!

SPEAKER_01 (04:56):
I dropped it in pee water.
There's more than moisture.
I'm

SPEAKER_03 (05:02):
rinsing the phone off because I don't want to drip
pee from the fucking bathroom tothe kitchen.
I have to fucking clean it.
So I rinse it.
I go in the kitchen and I usesome soap.
And I'm washing my phone atthree in the morning.

(05:26):
I'm elbows deep.
I've taken out the otter box.
I'm washing cracks and crevices.
And I hear feet shuffling fromthe bedroom.
And it's my wife.
And she said, she heard it.
She said, You dropped your phonein the toilet, honey.

(05:51):
I didn't answer her.
I just continued to clean andshe went back to bed.
Oh,

SPEAKER_04 (05:55):
that is too funny, bro.
You dropped your phone infucking piss water.
Like what?
What?
You know, you know, okay.
Like I thought I find it.
The reason why I think I laughso hard.
Number one is because of thefact that it's like, What did
you say, like 3 a.m.?
Something like early in themorning?

(06:15):
That's crucial.
That sucks.
Like, that fucking sucks.
That sucks to be like, okay, Irelieved myself.
I'm wrapping it up.
And then all of a sudden...
Before you flush, that's tough.
Like, that's tough.
Like, my guy, that is verytough.
But the reason why I find it themost funny is because I've

(06:37):
recently...
When I say recently, I want tosay maybe in the last three
months.
It happened one time.
It was the first time it everhappened.
I also dropped my phone in thetoilet.
Now, I didn't have anything init.
I had just got done, okay?
I had just wrapped everythingup.
Toilet was flushed.

(06:58):
I washed my hands, right?
dried them, and then I grabbedit off the counter, and somehow,
someway, I don't know, my thumbjust decided to quit.
And it just went beeline.
And you know, I was gonna diefor it, but I went, nope.
It just hit the water, and I waslike, I knew this day was gonna
come.
I knew it.

(07:23):
I was like, it's inevitable,right?
Everybody somewhere, eventually,drops their fucking phone in the
toilet, and it is the worstthing ever, because I'm like,
motherfucker! Because now I'vegot to reach in there, right?
Even though I flushed, right,even though I flushed, it's
still kind of like, ugh.

(07:43):
It is, it is.
So I tore everything off, youknow tore it all off yes yeah
and i was like okay break thisoff and then i grabbed nothing
but just lysol wipes and justwiped everything i'm like
everything's got it you got itair dry and all kinds of shit i
was like i'm taking like threefucking lysol wipes to each side

(08:04):
of this phone

SPEAKER_03 (08:06):
so after when i was washing it with the dawn soap
she came out she's like allyou're using is dawn soap she's
like you're not gonna use likeClorox or something.
So I'm like, okay, fine, I'lluse Clorox too.
So then I double cleaned it.
I used Dawn and then I usedClorox wipes.
Needless to say, I didn't getdone doing that until like 3.30
and at that point I had forgotabout my shit.

(08:29):
Go figure, right?
So then I just went to the roomand went to bed.

SPEAKER_04 (08:33):
He said, fuck it.
I don't got to shit anymore.
Fuck this whole thing.
Moments passed.
Now I just want to go to

SPEAKER_03 (08:41):
bed.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 (08:44):
That's fair.
That sucks.
That absolutely fucking

SPEAKER_03 (08:48):
sucks.
How I said it bled in today isbecause I was nervous about
waking up because I did someresearch and they said that if
you do drop your phone in water,you want to make sure it's 100%
dry before you charge it or doanything like that.

SPEAKER_04 (09:02):
Yeah, it makes sense.

SPEAKER_03 (09:03):
So it's been not charging.
I have wireless chargers thatI've been placing it on, but I
haven't been hooking it up inthe charge port.

SPEAKER_04 (09:12):
No, I got you.
Now, usually, especially withthe OtterBox, I mean, it pretty
much keeps...
save for the speaker a littlebit.
Right, right.
It keeps it pretty...
And the great part about that,though, is because you have a...
What do you have?
S23?
S22?

SPEAKER_03 (09:34):
Yeah, it's a couple years old.

SPEAKER_04 (09:37):
But it is water-resistant.
It is.
If you drop it in and then grabit out real quick, you should be
fine, but definitely be on thesafe side and let it dry out.
but that sucks.
That sucks to drop your phone inP water at 3 a.m.
Like, nah, like that, likeliterally I'm like, this is how
my day is going to fuckingstart.

(09:58):
This is how my day is going tostart before the sun comes up.
That is not like I'm calling offof work.
Any kind of activities I havefor that day canceled.
I'm going to be sleeping therest of the day.
Why?
Because I dropped my phone in Pwater.
That is a bad omen.
I'm going to stay on the streetsforever.

SPEAKER_03 (10:19):
It

SPEAKER_04 (10:19):
sucked, bro.
Yeah, I would have cried.
I will say, though, my

SPEAKER_03 (10:23):
phone is probably the cleanest it's ever been.

SPEAKER_04 (10:24):
Oh, I can imagine.
I can imagine.
It's like, this is the firsttime I've ever cleaned my phone
off.
Yeah, I bet it was fucking brownwhen you got done with it.
Like, the wipes and everything,just nasty as fuck.
Like, yeah, that's what you'reputting up to your fucking face
every day.
I

SPEAKER_03 (10:38):
found breadcrumbs in it.
No, I'm

SPEAKER_04 (10:41):
just kidding.
There was a leftover mozzarellastick in there.
And I was like, I wonder if it'sstill good.
Don't figure, right?
Right.
That's

SPEAKER_03 (10:49):
where I placed it.

SPEAKER_04 (10:50):
Yeah, that's fucking wild.
But I'm glad you retrieved yourphone from the pee water.
And

SPEAKER_03 (10:55):
it's still working, so right now I'm pretty good.

SPEAKER_04 (10:58):
Good, good.
I just

SPEAKER_03 (11:00):
have a funny story to share now.

SPEAKER_04 (11:01):
No, yeah, that's hilarious.
And I'll tell you what, goddamn, that's...
I'm sorry.
I'm so

SPEAKER_03 (11:09):
sorry.
I told our nephew that, andhe...
He cracked up laughing at me.

SPEAKER_04 (11:16):
I bet he did, because he was probably like,
oh, oh, uncle, uncle?
My uncle doing that?
Reaching into a peat water?

SPEAKER_03 (11:25):
As I was telling the story, once I said I dropped it,
he's like, I knew you were goingto say that.
And he was laughing.

SPEAKER_04 (11:34):
He's a smart one, that child.
But okay, well, unfortunately,your day kind of started off
kind of pissy.
But, you know, you made it.
Here you are, and now here weare doing all this.
Since we don't have anybody elseto talk to, I guess I can tell

(11:55):
you how I'm doing.

SPEAKER_03 (11:56):
Yeah, tell me how you're doing.

SPEAKER_04 (11:58):
I'm chilling, you know.
I've been playing a lot of GranTurismo 7 and Death Stranding 2.
I've been bouncing back andforth.
Literally, what I'll do is I'llget home, I'll shower, and then
I'll jump on Gran Turismo 7.
do my daily workout because yougot to do like i think it's 26.9
miles um in the game uh againit's cumulative and and you know

(12:23):
i just have i've been having alot of fun doing that and making
awesome liveries for so manycars and i love watching the
replays because now with this umwith this setup that i have it's
been so much fun especially likeIt is a huge difference from the
controller.
Is it?
It's a huge difference becausewhen you're oversteering or

(12:45):
understeering, you definitelyfeel it.
You feel the wheels slipping outfrom under.
Yes.
That's the feedback you get fromthe steering wheel, if you get
the right one, obviously.
When I was making some corners,especially in a lot of
rear-wheel drive cars, like yourChargers, your Challengers, the

(13:05):
Corvettes, stuff like that, WhenI'm going around a corner and I
give it a little bit too muchgas, you can feel it.
You feel the back wheelsbasically slipping.
You feel that ass end comingaround.
I was like, you don't get thatwith a controller.
You get the rumbling, sure, butto feel that slipping?

(13:27):
I was like, yo, that's dope.

SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
I wonder how that transport fires into actual
driving?
I

SPEAKER_04 (13:41):
mean, so with Gran Turismo, it is like a driving
simulator, so I would...
I mean, Gran Turismo, the moviecame out, and they literally had
people go from racing on GranTurismo to racing in real life,
so it's

SPEAKER_03 (14:00):
like...
I'm just curious if it...
If we were to throw you in acar, let's say a high output
vehicle, and you attempted to dowhat you do on Gran Turismo
without ever doing it in reallife, but since you do it on
Gran Turismo, do you think youcould do it, or do you think
you'd be too scared to do it?

SPEAKER_04 (14:18):
I wouldn't be...
I think...

SPEAKER_03 (14:23):
Scared is the wrong word to use there, but like...
I mean, I feel like you would betimid in the beginning.

SPEAKER_04 (14:29):
Yes, because the safety net is not there.
It is just a video game, and ifI crash or something, I'm not
getting injured.
But in real life, yeah, I don'tget to hit restart.
Restart?
Like old dude said in GranTurismo.
I can't do that.
Once I hit the wall, that's it.
Like, well, I don't have a carnow.

(14:52):
So, I don't know.
That was me.
Yeah, that was me.
That was me.
Sorry, guys.
Sorry.
But I don't know.
I don't know how I would do.
I think I still got some hoursto put in with it because I feel
like I can hit lines a littlebetter now.
I'm getting faster at hittingthose corners.

(15:13):
We'll see how it goes.
We'll see how it goes.
And I know that...
Who do you call it?
I know Grizz and Templeton bothsuggested, now that I've gotten
into that, to kind of start...
kind of start streaming.
I'm on the fence, but I'mgetting prepared.

SPEAKER_03 (15:28):
I mean, what do you have to lose?
If you're going to game, like,you may have, I mean, I know,
like, on one hand, I don't makeit be a job, but then on the
other hand, like, what happensif you do tend to blow up?
Because you don't know what'sgoing to happen.
Oh, man.

(15:48):
You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_04 (15:49):
No, I'm with you.
I'm with you.
And, you know, the all...
ultimately i'm gonna be gaminganyway right so

SPEAKER_03 (15:56):
right that's what it comes down to you're gonna be
gaming anyway gonna be gaminganyway

SPEAKER_04 (16:00):
but uh you know i've thought about it and i've kind
of thought of like a um my uh myschedule uh figured i'd game
monday wednesday fridays andfridays i was kind of thinking
like do like fortnight fridayslike play fortnight on fridays
and then game one day i'm out ofthe out of the weekend so have
that day kind of float If I wantto game on Saturday, I'll game

(16:23):
on Saturday and leave Sundayopen.
If I don't feel like doing itSaturday, I'll game on Sunday
and leave Saturday open.

SPEAKER_03 (16:29):
How long would you game for?

SPEAKER_04 (16:31):
So I'm thinking during the week, I might do at
max three hours.
Because that's basically whatI'm doing right now, depending
on the time I get home.
So if I get home at 6, 6.30, Ishower.
Might grab something to eat ifI'm hungry.
And then by the time I get on,it's probably about 7, 7.30.

(16:52):
And then I'll play until about11, 11.30.
And then I'll go to bed.
So, I mean, do that Monday,Wednesday, Friday.
And then Saturday or Sunday,maybe do four hours instead of
three.
And then just take the rest ofit, you know, like later on in
the day when everything's done.
Like Sunday, like if I gameSunday, it would have to be

(17:13):
early.
And not late because I got towork Monday.
It's Saturday.
I can game whatever time.
I just want to make sure I getall my shit done.
Shit around the house, cleaning,lawn done, all that.
But we'll see.
I got the capture card.
I got a little holder here formy headset and my controller.

(17:37):
Obviously, I got this guy readyto rock and roll.
I can set this thing up.
I don't know if I'll be doingTikTok.
I think I might just stick tostream.
Twitch might just stick toTwitch and see how that goes.
I know Twitch is a little bitharder to get followers at
because it's so saturated andstuff like that.

(17:58):
TikTok is usually where peoplestart at to gain those followers
and then tell everybody, moveover to Twitch.
But I don't know.
I think I'm just going to try myhand at Twitch and see what
happens.
But other than that, yeah, justbeen working and paying bills.
And yeah, that's pretty much it.
pretty much it for me nice yeahyeah yeah so uh but glad we're

(18:23):
doing good chilling um you wantsome entertainment news i can't
ask i can't ask who's ready forentertainment just you so
entertainment news uh i don'tknow if you've heard but uh
snack wraps are back i haveheard

SPEAKER_03 (18:41):
are

SPEAKER_04 (18:42):
you excited

SPEAKER_03 (18:43):
Yes.
I was told that the lines atMcDonald's, though, are
currently outrageous because ofthese little bastards.

SPEAKER_04 (18:52):
I guess it depends on what time you go, but yes,
they are pretty busy, especiallyduring lunch.
They have lines wrapping aroundthe building.

SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
Do they really?

SPEAKER_04 (19:04):
Because everybody is super stoked that the snack
wraps have returned.
Now, they're$2.99.
each and they only have twoflavors which makes me really
sad because before we had ranchbarbecue and honey mustard and

(19:25):
you had the option of eithercrispy or grilled so right now
we only have one option andthat's just the mc crispy strips
which are obviously crispy andnow we only have ranch and spicy
which is like i thought thespicy was going to be like the
um

SPEAKER_03 (19:41):
a buffalo

SPEAKER_04 (19:42):
um no i thought it was gonna i thought they were
gonna use like the creamy chilisauce that comes with the strips
because the creamy chili sauceis actually pretty good like

SPEAKER_03 (19:51):
it's not yeah i did try it's not bad it's

SPEAKER_04 (19:53):
it's pretty good and i thought that's what they were
gonna put on it because i waslike it does kind of have a
little bit of a kick i was likethat would be smart that's one
that's one hell of a way to youknow get people hooked on that
shit but it's some totallydifferent sauce that i mean it
is it's definitely spicy It's

SPEAKER_02 (20:08):
not even buffalo?

SPEAKER_04 (20:08):
It's not buffalo.
I don't know what kind of sauceit is.
It's a spicy sauce.
I don't know what kind of sauceit is, though.
So I'm like, it's probably somekind of special McDonald's spicy
sauce.
Right,

SPEAKER_03 (20:21):
it's probably like their Big Mac sauce.

SPEAKER_04 (20:23):
Right, which is basically Thousand Islands with
one or two added extras in it.
Are they good?
Because I've tried them.
I got the mix and match, so Ican try both.
They're not bad.
I...
I don't know if they're worth$2.99.
That's just me.
That's just me.
Other people might sell theirsoul for these things because

(20:45):
they were gone for 10 years orhowever long it was.
I mean, I'm not...
I feel like McDonald's kind ofhad the opportunity to bring
back some kind of deal.
Something close to a dollar

SPEAKER_03 (21:01):
menu.
To be honest...
If I was CEO of McDonald's, Iwould have made it a dollar.
Hands down.
We are going to give you thisvintage item and we're going to
try to keep it at low cost forthe consumers.
One item, dude, like the linesyou have now would be doubled.

(21:24):
I'm telling you that right nowbecause the thing about the aura
of a snack wrap is it gives youthe healthy feeling.
Right.
You don't have to pack a lunch.
You can go to McDonald's andjust get a snack.
That's the whole purpose of it.

SPEAKER_02 (21:40):
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (21:40):
Is not to get a burger, not to get fries.
Keep it light.
Keep it simple.
And I'm not gaining a bajillionpounds if I eat one or two.

SPEAKER_04 (21:51):
Yeah.
It's amazing that Um, especiallywhen they had the grilled snack
wraps, like there were, therewere actually a lot of people
that went on a weight lossjourney and that's what they did
for lunch because they didn'twant to pack anything.
And they didn't like the ideaof, uh, like making meals, like
meal prepping.
They didn't like that idea.
So what did they do?
They went to McDonald's and theygot a grilled snack wrap with,

(22:15):
and they might, they might'vedid it like, you know, no sauce,
you know, I don't want, I don'twant to age and just do the
lettuce cheese and the, and thetortilla.
And they, they, I mean, itworked it worked because it's
it's not again like you saidit's not a heavy meal and it's
definitely not something that'sgoing to stick around forever
it's not you know it's not likea fucking big mac or you know a

(22:38):
whopper or you know somethinglike that right and something
light like you said somethinglight something that you know i
can eat two of and not feelguilty

SPEAKER_03 (22:46):
Right, exactly.
And that's the whole purpose ofa snack wrap.
And here's the other thing.
Hence the name.
It's a snack.
That's why it came up with thatname.
And now you're going to chargeme$2.99?
I mean...

SPEAKER_04 (22:59):
It could be worse.
It could be worse, but$2.99 andthen you have to add tax, so
it's a$3 snack wrap.

SPEAKER_03 (23:08):
Right, and then if, I mean, granted, if you have
your own beverage, but if youdon't, you order a drink, I
mean...

SPEAKER_04 (23:15):
And if you get the meal, which I did, it's$10.
It's$10 for a fucking meal.

SPEAKER_03 (23:21):
That's crazy.
How many do you get?
One or two?

SPEAKER_04 (23:23):
You get two snack wraps, fries, and a drink.
That's

SPEAKER_03 (23:26):
still crazy.
That's insane.

SPEAKER_04 (23:28):
I know, because if you buy two snack wraps, right?
I mean, I get it, because as ameal, yeah, sure, if you buy two
snack wraps, a fry, and a drink,you're probably going to spend
about that much anyway, so I gotit.
I'm with you.

SPEAKER_03 (23:40):
But the thing is, most people who get the snack
wrap aren't going there for asnack wrap meal.
They get just a snack wrap.
Just the snack wraps.
Nobody gives a shit about thefucking meal.
No, No, nobody cares.
The people that want that, to behonest, to be fair, are probably
not even drinking soda.
The only thing that they'reingesting is going to be
probably their morning shake,protein shake, and then water

(24:03):
the rest of the day.

SPEAKER_04 (24:04):
Yep.
And then they're like, you knowwhat?
I'm a little hungry.
I'm going to go to McDonald's,get me a little snack wrap.
You know what I mean?
Because it's not a lot ofcalories, not a lot of carbs.
Yeah, I could do that.
I could do that.
I could pull that off.
I could swing that.

SPEAKER_03 (24:19):
I would be fair to say that if I had to throw a
percentage, I'd probably say atleast 80% are drinking just
water on those who order thesnack wraps.

SPEAKER_04 (24:29):
Probably.
Probably.

SPEAKER_03 (24:31):
That feels like a safe number to throw out there.

SPEAKER_04 (24:34):
I could see that.
I would be curious as to thestatistics of that and the
people ordering snack wraps forlunch and or dinner.
Are you just doing water and twosnack wraps?
Because honestly, that soundslike that would fill me.
That's what I'm saying.

(24:54):
Yeah, I'd be good.

SPEAKER_03 (24:55):
Right, and again, two snack wraps may be even
pushing it.
I don't know if I would want tospend$5,$6 for two snack wraps.

SPEAKER_04 (25:03):
Yeah, I don't know.
Again, after trying them, Idon't think I would want to
spend$6 for two snack wraps.
I think I would just want onesnack wrap and call it a day.

SPEAKER_03 (25:14):
So the snack wraps are going to be on our list to
try this weekend at some point.

SPEAKER_04 (25:17):
Yeah, I do recommend trying them just so you can have
your own thoughts about it.

SPEAKER_03 (25:23):
Now, did you try...
Okay, have you tried the BurgerKings?
What are they called?
The crispy wraps?

SPEAKER_04 (25:32):
I've tried theirs.
I have tried their wraps.
I've tried Popeye's.
Popeye's now has wraps.
Oh, I didn't know that.
I'm not going to lie to you.
I was not impressed.

SPEAKER_03 (25:46):
Really?

SPEAKER_04 (25:47):
With Popeye's wraps.
I was not impressed.

SPEAKER_03 (25:49):
It's interesting because I want to say they
probably hold the crown forchicken sandwiches.

SPEAKER_04 (25:54):
So that's where I was thrown off at.
I was like, how are you achicken joint?
And you missed on this one.
Right, right, right.
I got done with it.
I was like, I'm not.
When we tried the Popeye'schicken sandwich the first time,
You remember when we got it?
Fucking phenomenal.

(26:15):
It did something to me.
I was like, oh my god, thissandwich.
I understand the hype.
Right.
I got it.
But when I tried those snackwraps, I was just like, eh.
No.
This isn't it.
I was like, I'm sorry, Popeyes,but you missed.
You missed on this.
And I don't know what to say.
Airball.

(26:35):
Holy fucking airball.
How'd you miss on chicken, bro?
Like, What?
Right.
That's wild to me.
So, yeah, I don't know.
The snack wraps, am I excitedthey're back?
Sure, because it's like anostalgic kind of feel now.

(26:58):
But for me right now, you couldhave kept them.
You know what I

SPEAKER_03 (27:04):
mean?
Right, right.
That's fair.
And here's the other thing.
So what I've read is peoplearen't liking the chicken.
They're saying it's not ascrispy as the original.

SPEAKER_04 (27:13):
No, no.
The Chicken Selects definitelyhad thicker, more crispier
breading on it than these ones.
Now, the breading on the newstrips, the McCrispy strips they
have, are much more flavorfulthan the Selects were.
I will say that.

(27:34):
So, like, do you give a littleto get a little?
I don't know.
I

SPEAKER_03 (27:40):
mean, to be honest with you, I prefer things to be
soft when they enter my mouth.

SPEAKER_04 (27:48):
Wait.
Wait.
Wait.
Wait, wait.
Or the joke.

SPEAKER_03 (27:56):
I'm just saying that I don't want to have to fight my
food when I'm trying to eat it.
I just feel like even with hardcandy, I don't eat hard candy
often because...
Again.

SPEAKER_04 (28:10):
It's hard candy.
It's hard when it goes in yourmouth.

SPEAKER_03 (28:15):
I don't

SPEAKER_04 (28:15):
like hard things in my mouth.

SPEAKER_03 (28:17):
Glass it

SPEAKER_04 (28:17):
all day.
Anyway.
I will recommend you and Mrs.
Yeti to try out the snack wrapsthis weekend and get your take
on it.
Like I said, I'm Take it orleave it for me.
The rest of the world, I mean,if you like them, great.

(28:38):
Fire off in the comments.
Let us know how you feel aboutit.
Are you excited the snack wrapsare back?
Did you miss them?
Is it only because you'relooking at these things through
rose-colored glasses that you'relike, oh, these snack wraps are
phenomenal, or are you going tobe real with yourself and say,
they could have done better?

SPEAKER_03 (28:58):
Okay, so if you rank the...
wraps that you've had fromPopeyes, Burger King, and
McDonald's, what would you say?

SPEAKER_04 (29:05):
I'd probably say Burger King, McDonald's,
Popeyes.
First, second, third.

SPEAKER_03 (29:10):
Have you tried Chick-fil-A's?

SPEAKER_04 (29:17):
I don't know if they have a snack like that kind of
snack wrap.
They do have a chicken wrap.

SPEAKER_03 (29:22):
Yeah, they got a chicken wrap.
Is it not the same?
I think it's just bigger.

SPEAKER_04 (29:26):
No, it's got a lot.
I mean, it is literally like,it's like almost a chicken salad
in a wrap.
Oh, is it?
It's thick.
It's got a lot of lettuce.
Now, their wrap is fucking,like, you can't, nah, I'm not
even going to put that.
That's in its own category.
Chick-fil-A fucking chicken wrapis definitely in its own
category, especially with theiravocado ranch.

(29:48):
Right.
Nah, man.
Nah, nah, nah, nah.
I'm not even going to put thatin that category.

SPEAKER_03 (29:58):
But I will say...
No, I mean...
So they are bigger.
These are$8.25.
Yeah, they're much bigger.
They're not wraps, but I mean,looking at the picture, they've
got the tortilla, a circle oflettuce, a circle of cheese, and
then a circle of chicken.

SPEAKER_04 (30:15):
Yep, and let me tell you, that shit...

SPEAKER_03 (30:18):
See, but here's the thing, though.
Here's the thing, though.
These are the different saucesyou can add into it.
Avocado lime ranch.
Garden herb ranch.
Fat-free honey mustard.
Balsamic.
Zesty apple cider vinaigrette.
Creamy salad dressing.
Light Italian dressing.
I guess you could do the samething at McDonald's.
Just say no sauce and then addthe sauce on.

(30:41):
But then you're doing extrawork.
I'm not trying to...

SPEAKER_04 (30:44):
Because when you go to Chick-fil-A, the sauce they
give you or the dressing thatthey give you literally comes on
the side.
It's literally like a pack ofdressing.
So that's why I say it's like achicken salad in a wrap, in a
tortilla, wrapped in a tortilla.
So that's why I say it's in aleague of its own.
Because if you're looking atBurger King, Popeyes, and

(31:06):
McDonald's, they're literallylike, you know, they're...
You know, something just to grabon the go.
Like Chick-fil-A.
Right, Chick-fil-A.
Like, I gotta sit down and eatthat bitch, because it's

SPEAKER_03 (31:18):
going to...
I do! I do! You

SPEAKER_04 (31:22):
only get one of them bitches, and it's thick, they
cut it in half, and it takes mea minute to...
Yeah, you gotta use both hands.
Gotta use both hands.
No ditty.
No ditty.
Gotta use both hands.
So it's like...
I don't know.
I don't know.
But for me, it would be, I wouldsay Burger King, McDonald's,

(31:45):
Popeyes.
That's fair.
That's what I would say.
So just remember to try it thisweekend.
And yeah, I guess I'll wait tohear how you and Mrs.
Yeti like it.

SPEAKER_03 (31:57):
Well, the chances are you're going to be with us
since we have a fun, excitingweekend starting.

SPEAKER_04 (32:00):
Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 (32:01):
10 o'clock tomorrow morning.
10 o'clock tomorrow

SPEAKER_04 (32:03):
morning.

SPEAKER_03 (32:04):
On fucking Sunday.

SPEAKER_04 (32:05):
Well, Sunday isn't going to be as bad because it's
just one movie.
Just one movie.
It's early, but it's just onemovie.
Just one movie.
You can do one movie.
You can do one fucking movie at8.30 in the morning.
You'll be okay.

SPEAKER_03 (32:18):
Who does that?
I do! That's why we're going tobe the only ones there, because
it's fucking 8.30.
Every other person with afucking brain is like, no, fuck
that.
Perfect,

SPEAKER_04 (32:26):
because that means there's no chance, there's zero
risk of somebody being like, youguys are really loud and
obnoxious while we're laughingat funny parts.

SPEAKER_03 (32:36):
That's...
You know who I feel bad for?
Who?
This person that's sittingbetween us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tomorrow morning, they're notgoing to like us.
I'll reach over him and be like,hey, you want some chips?

SPEAKER_04 (32:51):
Hey, thanks, man.
They'll probably be like, youguys want to switch spots?
No, I like it here.
Nope.
I'm sitting exactly where I fit.
I picked these seats for areason.
I like these seats.
I like the acoustics.

SPEAKER_03 (33:10):
We're going to be such trolls.
We are, and here's the thing.
The moment we walk in there,we're going to gauge this
person.
Oh, absolutely.
We're going to look at them andbe like, or whatever.
They, whoever they are.
Whoever they are, we're going tolook at them and be like, Oh,
yeah.
You're getting judged.

SPEAKER_04 (33:29):
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (33:30):
yeah,

SPEAKER_04 (33:30):
yeah.
We're going to have fun withthis one.

SPEAKER_03 (33:33):
And that's how we're going to gauge it.
Does this person look likethey're going to be fun or are
they going to be annoyed?
Because we're Superman?

SPEAKER_04 (33:41):
Yeah, we're going to go see Superman.
So they might be like a straightSuperman diehard.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (33:48):
Leave

SPEAKER_01 (33:49):
me alone!

SPEAKER_03 (33:50):
He watched the original from 1956.
Exactly.
He grew up with this.

SPEAKER_04 (33:57):
Like, you know, you guys are really disturbing me.
I need you to stop passing thosechips back and forth in front of
me.
You guys should have bought yourtickets earlier.
We

SPEAKER_03 (34:09):
should get a small popcorn and just pass it back
and forth.
And be like, bro.
You can get some if you want

SPEAKER_04 (34:17):
some.
You want to get down on this?
Oh, that's actually funny.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a good idea.
I like that idea.

SPEAKER_03 (34:28):
Oh, fuck.
That's why God hates me.

SPEAKER_04 (34:30):
Yeah, a little bit.
Anyway...
Okay, snack wraps.
Again, talk about it.
If you love them, great.
If not...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand.
So I guess...
Milina?
You hear yet?
Milina?
No?

(34:51):
Alright, well, Yeti?
Yeah?
Yeah?
Reddit roulette.
Okay, let's go.
T.E.
Appleton.
Pick a number.
I fucking can't.

(35:14):
I can't.

SPEAKER_01 (35:15):
Pick a number one through five.

SPEAKER_04 (35:18):
What's that?
Number one through five.
I think he said four.
T.
Hamilton, is that right?
Yeah, he said four.
One.
Uno.

SPEAKER_03 (35:30):
Dos.
Tres.
Cuatro.
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (35:39):
What you got for us to discuss?

SPEAKER_03 (35:41):
Am I the asshole for prioritizing my daughter over my
partner's niece?

SPEAKER_04 (35:48):
Ooh.

UNKNOWN (35:51):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (35:51):
This could be steamy.
Yeah, let's

SPEAKER_03 (35:56):
go.
Okay, hello.
28 female.
I've been with my partner, 38male, for quite some time now.
I have a daughter with myprevious partner, and she's five
now.
Let's call her Mina.
I have twins.
One month with my currentpartner.
A little background.
Ever since I lived with mycurrent partner, I help around
the house since we're both...

(36:16):
What?
Okay.
Okay.

(36:41):
I'm going to continue on.
My partner's niece...
I can't even decipher that.
My partner's niece, sevenfemale, came to the main house
as usual and I always take note.
Always help my partner's nieceto get her food, give her water.
I'm really not complaining aboutit.
I love serving the people that Ilove.

(37:05):
My partner's parents went homefrom abroad and we...
as in all the family memberswent on a trip outside of our we
ate at a local restaurant wherewe rode a boat cruise through
the water the food was alreadyserved and we just needed to
help ourselves to get some foodto our plates one time just this

(37:27):
one time they got the baby fromme for me to do things that i
needed to be done like get foodand drinks from my daughter
after that i went and get mybaby, my partner's mom was
furious because I didn't getfood for my partner's niece.

(37:48):
Like, the niece's parents wasjust there grabbing their own
food, not knowing that their owndaughter is just waiting for
food to be served.
Now my parent's mom is blamingme because I prioritized my
daughter over my granddaughter.
So am I the asshole forprioritizing my daughter over my
partner's niece?

(38:09):
There's a language barrierthere, bro.

SPEAKER_04 (38:11):
Yeah, but I guess the gist of it is they don't
have a lot of food.
Yes.
And they have one house, Iguess, where everybody gathers.

SPEAKER_03 (38:22):
That's what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_04 (38:23):
And that's where all the food is, essentially.
Yes.
Like, that's where you go for a

SPEAKER_03 (38:27):
big meal.
Like a mess hall, almost.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_04 (38:29):
yeah, yeah, almost anyway.
So she's asking because she waslike, I need to feed my daughter
before I feed...
My niece.
Her

SPEAKER_03 (38:39):
granddaughter.
Well.
No.
Yeah.
Yes.
Partner's niece.
Yeah.
Her niece.

SPEAKER_04 (38:46):
Okay.
I mean.
That's a little sensitivesubject because me being me as a
functioning adult.
Mm-hmm.
I would prioritize both childrenbefore I prioritize myself.

(39:07):
I would make sure that both kidswould eat.
Before I do.
Because I want to make sureyou're good before I do
anything.
Right.
I'm

SPEAKER_03 (39:20):
just going to say not the asshole because she said
a sentence in all this.
The niece's parents were justthere grabbing their own food
and And not getting theirdaughter.
Why is the parents not gettingthe daughter food?
If the parents are just gettingtheir food...

SPEAKER_04 (39:38):
Yeah, if they're only worrying about themselves,
then yeah.
Then

SPEAKER_03 (39:42):
it falls on the parents, so you're not the
asshole.
The parents

SPEAKER_04 (39:45):
should have taken care of their kid.
Instead of depending on you totake care of their kid.
Because you're already theregrabbing food for yourselves.
Why not grab for your child aswell?
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (39:57):
Bingo.
So that's why I say, justbecause of that one sentence,
not the asshole, and that is ifthat sentence is true.
If that sentence is not true,then I'm going to have to say...
I

SPEAKER_04 (40:09):
would say light asshole.

SPEAKER_03 (40:13):
Yeah, because then I start to lean on the side where
you're leaning on is making surethat the younger people are
taken care of before the olderpeople are taken care of.

SPEAKER_04 (40:24):
Right,

SPEAKER_03 (40:26):
because I feel like Older people can withstand a
little bit longer of being alittle hungrier, being a little
thirsty, whereas a child may notbe able to.
Because you're talking, theyoungest I've seen was one
month, two-year-old female, orI'm sorry, a seven-year-old
female, and two twins that are,oh yeah, the niece is seven, and

(40:49):
then her kids are one month.
And they're twins.

SPEAKER_04 (40:51):
Yeah, see, that's, that's, yeah, especially
one-month-olds, they gotta eat.
Yeah.
They have to.
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (40:57):
Well, I mean, they're not eating formula, but
still.
Regardless, I mean, you

SPEAKER_04 (41:01):
know, and

SPEAKER_03 (41:02):
then

SPEAKER_04 (41:02):
the seven-year-old, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (41:03):
Well, now then, I mean, now you gotta argue
breastfeeding, because if she'sbreastfeeding, then the mother
does have to get nutrients intoher body, because then she's not
providing food

SPEAKER_04 (41:13):
for her kid.
That is, that

SPEAKER_03 (41:14):
is true.
So that's kind of a double-edgedsword there.

SPEAKER_04 (41:16):
Yeah, that is true.
That's why I said it's a kind oftouchy If you look at it from
all aspects.
But at the same time, like yousaid, that line is there where
this child's parents were theregrabbing food.
Why did they not grab food fortheir child?
Right.
So, I don't know.

(41:36):
If that is the case, then yeah,I would say not the asshole.
I would say the parents are theones that should be responsible
for making sure their childrenare fed.
Not, you know, leaning onsomebody else to take care of
the kids.

(41:56):
Obviously, I mean, I'd do it.
You know, I would take care ofit and then definitely have
something to say about it.
Like, well, you were already upthere.
Why didn't you just do it?
Why didn't you grab the food foryour child?

SPEAKER_01 (42:10):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 (42:10):
instead of just glazing over that and then
saying, oh, you'll get this, andnot even talking to me about
that.
You didn't even mention, hey,can you do this for me?
Right, right.
They're just trying to pass itoff like, yeah like this is your
responsibility like you shouldknow that no i don't write that
because i have my ownresponsibility right

SPEAKER_03 (42:31):
i'm taking care of these two other little ones
right

SPEAKER_04 (42:34):
right so i don't know like if that if that is the
case and and what she says istrue then yeah not the asshole
but if if she's kind ofembellishing and saying you know
they were getting their food butdidn't get you know but they
really didn't like okay you'rekind of kind of the asshole But
not totally, because the kidshouldn't be your responsibility
anyway, because it is theirchild.

(42:55):
But again, as a relative, takecare of your family.
And

SPEAKER_03 (43:02):
to be fair, no seven-year-old should go without
anything.
And it sounds like...
I mean, I don't know.
I mean, cause they say thatthey're struggling.
So I would like to know, Iclicked a user to see if I get
like any info, like where theywere living potentially.

(43:22):
Yeah.
Cause it sounds like, and it'sgoing to sound horrible, but I,
I, I picture like a, a fuckingencampment, you know, like a
scene from like a X-Men when,when fucking Magneto was like,

SPEAKER_04 (43:40):
I wouldn't say that extreme.
I could see it being like a soupkitchen.
Yeah.
Like downtown.
Yeah, in downtown.
I could see it being a soupkitchen or something like that.
But still, take care of yourchild.
Take care of your child.
Take care of your children,people.
Stop trying to pass it off oneverybody else.

(44:02):
It's crazy work.
Crazy work.
But if that's true, not theasshole.
If it's not true...
Light asshole.
I'll hit you a light sentence ofan asshole.

SPEAKER_03 (44:13):
So we give you the lowercase a.
Lowercase a.

SPEAKER_04 (44:16):
All lowercase, no caps.
You know, when somebody goes,asshole.
Yes, yes, yes.
A whispered

SPEAKER_03 (44:24):
asshole.
Yes.
Because you were like twoseconds away from not being an
asshole.
Right.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_04 (44:32):
yeah, yeah.
You could have easily just, youknow, I don't know.
Anyway.
Okay.
All right.
That wasn't too bad.
Not too bad at all.
I do want to ask you a questionthough.

SPEAKER_02 (44:44):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (44:45):
Have you ever just been like hanging out and, and
you're like, you know what?
I, it feels really like, itfeels really like, like, like
it's been a crazy day and mymind is just all over the place.
And I don't know, and I don'tknow how to like, Get my
thoughts clear.
And you're like, you know what?

(45:06):
Magic mind.
Magic mind.
And you're like, oh, my God.
Like this little wonderfulmental performance shot here.
And you're like, you know, if Ihad one, if I could just pop one
real quick, I'd be good.
And I'd be able to geteverything taken care of.
Because what a hell of a day.
Like, you go to work for eighthours, you come home, and you're

(45:29):
like, I got a podcast to do.
I got a show to run.
And, like, nobody shows up.

SPEAKER_01 (45:34):
Hold on.
Hold on.
No! Where's it at?
No! I can't find the button fastenough.

SPEAKER_04 (45:44):
God damn it.
I'm fucking failing.
Shit.
But magic mind.
It's a wonderful little mentalperformance shot that has...
Beautiful little new tropics init, like Lion's Mane and
Ashwagandha.
I don't know what yet he's doingright now.
Crickets.

(46:04):
It's got L-theanine, cordyceps,has matcha tea in it, which is,
you know, wonderful.
That's where you're going to getyour caffeine from.
But it does that, you know, hasthe L-theanine to kind of like
regulate that absorption ofcaffeine and make that caffeine
last a little longer for you.
But it also, you know, helpswith mental fog, gets your
mental state right.

(46:26):
And it works.
It really does work wonders.
It's like a very magical drink.
So what I'm going to do rightnow is I'm going to pop one.
There we go.
Popped.
Now my focus can go up.
We're straight.

(46:47):
We feeling good now?

SPEAKER_03 (46:49):
Feeling right?
I got a question.
When you pop this right now,because obviously you just took
it right now on the spot, howlong does it last?
Because I know it's 9.30pm So, Imean, you gotta think about bed
and stuff like that.
So how long does it last?

SPEAKER_04 (47:03):
So luckily for me, it's Friday and I don't have to
work tomorrow.

SPEAKER_02 (47:07):
Gotcha.

SPEAKER_04 (47:08):
That's, that's why I, that's why I try to, I try to
like really like, um, takethese, I gotta be strategic
with, with, with how I take thembecause I will say, um, if I'm,
if I'm kind of like feeling alittle low on energy or
whatever, Like I need a littlepick-me-up.

(47:30):
I will pop one.
And it'll probably last me...
I mean, it lasts for a while.
It really does.
I would venture to say, becauseI used to take them first thing
in the morning.
As soon as I got to work, I'dpop one.
And I would be good for theentire day.

(47:53):
I'd be straight for the wholeday.
I would not feel tired at anypoint in time.
And I'm just like, I'm ready torock and roll.
And it's not like ready to runthrough a wall type of energy.
It's like, I'm just awake.
And usually by like 2 o'clock, 3o'clock, I'm like, man, I could

(48:14):
really use a nap.
But whenever I was taking themon a daily, you know what I
mean?
And like popping them firstthing in the morning, I'd be
good.
That 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock lowenergy feeling at that time of
day, non-existent.
It does last quite a while,which I'm pretty sure has a lot

(48:37):
to do with the L-theanine andall that kind of stuff, and
allowing your body to betterregulate the absorption of
caffeine.
So if you do wind up drinkinganything that has a little bit
of caffeine in it later on, thatL-theanine will kind of help
with that.
I'm sure it does wear offthroughout the day, but that's

(48:57):
why I try to keep my caffeineintake at a minimum.
That's fair.
If you would like to try MagicMind and see how it works for
you, our lovely listeners,because we love you, You can
stop by at www.magicalmind.comand use our code FMJPOD20 at

(49:20):
checkout, and you can get up to48% off your first subscription
or 20% off first-time purchases.
So go ahead.
Give it a shot.
See what I did there?
Give it a shot.
You

SPEAKER_03 (49:35):
did.
Give it a

SPEAKER_04 (49:36):
shot.
Give it a shot.
Just give it a shot.
See how it works for you.
And yeah, I think you'll likeit.
You'll like how it tastes.
It doesn't taste awful.
You would think that it doesbecause it's green, but it
doesn't.
So don't let that turn you awayor turn you off.
I think you need to give it ashot.

(49:56):
So anyway, moving toward ourtopic for the day, what are we
talking about today, you guys?

SPEAKER_03 (50:09):
Not all at once.
Not all at once.
I'll go first.
Okay.
Scammers.
Oh!

SPEAKER_04 (50:14):
Scammers?

SPEAKER_03 (50:15):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (50:16):
Oh! Me, Lina?
Do you have scammer stories?
No.
G-Riz?
Any scammer stories?

SPEAKER_03 (50:30):
No.

SPEAKER_04 (50:30):
Why you got G-Riz?
fucking stupid.
No.
You know good and damn wellGrizz doesn't even fucking sound
like that.
What the fuck?

(50:52):
T.
Appleton?
T.
Appleton! Do you...
Wait.
For the joke.
God damn it, Yeti.

(51:14):
I don't know.
I don't know.
Anyway, moving on.
Yeah, scammers.
We're talking about scammers.
And what do we mean by scammers?
We mean like the phishingemails, the phone calls and the
text messages you get.
Those kind of scammers.
It's interesting that this issomething that we have to worry

(51:39):
about, right?
People that have no problemimpersonating somebody to get
personal information from you.
Right.
Which is really trippy.
I know we have been talkingabout it a lot lately, but I
guess we have to bring it upbecause it is very much

(52:00):
prevalent right now.
Excuse me.
It's very prevalent, butScammers use AI in nefarious
ways because they actually havea way of...
They'll give you a call on yourphone and they'll probably say
something like, you know, hello?

(52:22):
And then you'll say, hello?
And then it'll come back and thevoice will say, can you hear me?
And you'll say, yeah.
And then they'll ask, hey, canyou hear me?
Yeah.
Who is this?
And then ask for your name.
And that's all they need,because now they've got your
voice, they've got you sayingyes, they've got you saying your
name, and they can now put youinto this AI system and use it

(52:46):
to open up lines of credit, getcars, you name it.
Which is crazy to me.
It's fucking nuts.
It's fucking nuts.
And for me, I'm like, why don'tyou get a job?

SPEAKER_03 (53:03):
No, because...
I feel like to them, okay, thisis going to sound terrible, but
this is their job.
It's almost like gambling.
A gambler goes to the casino.
No, no, hear me out.
Hear me out.
They spent X, they spent Xamount of dollars just to maybe
to hit the jackpot.
And the chances are a lot oftimes they'll win.
Like my coworker, he goes to thecasino all the time, right?

(53:25):
Spends hundreds, thousands ofdollars.
I would have to.
And he just hit the jackpot forlike 1500 bucks.
In his mind, he won big.
But in the long term, he spent alot of money.
I feel like this is the samething.
They call, they waste theirtime.
They're not wasting money, butthey're wasting their time.
Because all it takes is for meto get one person, and I can get

(53:48):
a couple thousand dollars fromsaid person.

SPEAKER_04 (53:51):
Yeah, I mean, I guess I could see it from that
angle.
Okay, this is my job.
But at the same time, like,

SPEAKER_03 (54:02):
It's fucked up.
That's what it comes out.
It's just fucked up.

SPEAKER_04 (54:05):
It's fucked up because if I, because here's the
thing, if I come to you, let'ssay you're a scammer, right?
You're scamming people out ofmoney, this, that, and the other
thing.
If I, as a random stranger, cometo you and steal something from
you, you are now pissed at me.
How are you mad at me for mestealing something from you that

(54:25):
you stole from somebody else?
That shit don't make no fuckingsense to me.
To me, that sounds fuckingstupid.
You sound stupid.
dumb if you're like oh why'd youtake that from me well didn't
you take this from somebody elsethat's not the point no that is
the point because like this islike the universe writing itself
right like somebody else isstealing from the stealing from

(54:48):
you and it's like it's just nowthis huge cycle of one person
steals from one person the otherperson steals from the other
person and the other personsteals from the other person
where does it stop

SPEAKER_03 (54:58):
It stops when people stop answering the phone calls
and stop getting suckered intothese can-you-hear-me-now phone
calls.

SPEAKER_04 (55:07):
Well, yeah, but the problem is AI is getting so good
now, especially with the AIvoices, that, I mean, it's hard
to tell if it is AI.
It's hard to tell.

SPEAKER_03 (55:16):
Right, and they even make messages saying, like,
let's say that you call theperson's grandparents or their
parents and say, hey, if youhave a kid named...
Joe Baker.
They're like, hey, this is JoeBaker.
I'm in Cancun.
And he was legitimately going toCancun.
They're like, yeah, I gotarrested and I need X amount of
dollars to get me out of jail.
Send it to this right here.

(55:37):
And they'll believe it.
And then parents withoutthinking, well, wait, wait,
wait.
Scammers shouldn't know thathe's in Cancun right now.
They don't even think about thatbecause they just want their kid
home safe.
Or to be safe.
So they're just like, how muchyou need?
Bet.
Sent over right now.

SPEAKER_04 (55:51):
Yep.
Yep.
And that's where you got to stepin and kind of like I get it
because for some people, panicwill set in and be like, oh, my
kid's out in some other countrythat they're unfamiliar with and
they got arrested.
Especially if they are that kindof person that could possibly

(56:11):
wind up in prison.
You know they do some dumb shitand every now and then I gotta
bail them out.
I could see that working on somepeople.
Yeah, sure.
But it's like, sometimes youjust gotta okay let me take a
second let me call him realquick let me call let me call
him and find out if he'sactually in trouble and if

(56:33):
they're like oh yeah i'm no i'mi'm i'm not i'm not in jail i'm
not having the time of my lifeoh then i now know you know what
i mean like i know somebody'sfucking now i do know that there
are ways to combat it like youknow you have your safe words
and all that kind of your codewords or whatever and say hey um
uh just some random shit likewhat's the safe word uh sea

(56:54):
cucumber

SPEAKER_03 (56:56):
right right but you know like here's the thing like
how do you even say that in likea conversation especially if
like something's happening likein the moment like it's not a
scammer and you're just indanger you need to get like your
parents or like how are yougonna just like sue cucumber no
that's fucking code i knowthat's code let's go

SPEAKER_04 (57:20):
oh i've been here before i've heard people say see
cucumber before i know what thatmeans I mean, yeah, that is
interesting to think about.
How do you sneak that by acaptor?
How do you sneak that bysomebody?
I guess you would have to tryto...

(57:42):
Come up with some kind ofconversation that you would have
that kind of like how they do on911, where they're like, just
call and say you're ordering apizza.
So you would have to have somekind of conversation like that.
But then at the same time, youhave to hope and pray that the
other person remembers theconversation.
This is the fucking key word.

SPEAKER_03 (58:00):
You're talking to the police.
They're like, you talk to them.
Did they say anything ofimportance?
Nope, not really.
Not really.
They wanted a pizza.
Oh, you know what?
He did mention something aboutthe grass being black.
I didn't know black

SPEAKER_04 (58:19):
grass meant something.
My bad.
Like, did he say anythingimportant?
No, not really.
Like 15 minutes goes by, he'slike, You know, actually, he did
mention a pizza, which I thoughtwas weird, because he was like,
I was like, you know, this isn'tDomino's, dude, and I hung up on
him.
Like, you fucking moron! Soyou'd have to, you'd have to

(58:45):
know, like the other personwould have to be hip to that.

SPEAKER_03 (58:48):
Well, I would imagine you would have this
conversation.
So here's the thing.
Okay.
To be fair.
So like, we're trying to get mydaughter tuned to be born in a
month set up with some daycare,right?
Cause we work, whatever.
So I had to come up withpasswords or like when you
created the account, it's likepick two password or two
questions to recover yourpassword.

(59:09):
Yes.
So, and then I asked Emily, oneof them and I'm like hey what's
this and she's like and she gaveme the answer and I'm like okay
cool and she's like I'm notgonna remember that

SPEAKER_04 (59:21):
I'll never I'll never remember that shit because
I'll tell you what securityquestions they're great but I
hate them because they're likethey're like I have to remember
that I'm not gonna fuckingremember this shit big facts why
would you ask me this questionespecially in an emergency right
right right it's almost likewhen you're paying your bills

(59:42):
and they're like can you verifythis is you like does it matter
if the motherfucker wants to paymy bill let them

SPEAKER_03 (59:53):
there should be nothing protecting me or anyone
from protecting from paying mybill pay bill should be on the
fucking non cryptid internet andif it happened To get paid, he
gets paid.
Pay my bill, bro.
Pay that shit.

SPEAKER_04 (01:00:08):
Give a fuck.
What do you mean?
What do you mean verify thatit's you before I ask to get
your money?
What?
What?
What do you mean?
Like, I don't give a fuck whopays my bill if they're willing
to pay my bill.
Let them pay my bill, especiallyif it's a big bill.
They're like, oh, yeah, you owelike$4,000.
Like, yeah, I got that.
That's a drop in the bucket.

(01:00:31):
You know, if you're like, well,this is strange.
You must not be who you say youare.
Who fucking cares?
It's about to give you fourgrand.
You're going to say no?
Like, what the fuck, man?
But no, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You definitely got to becareful.
Got to watch yourself.
Protect yourself out there.
Yes, you do.

(01:00:51):
Again, I know we've talked aboutit a lot, but as you can see,
it's very prevalent.
Like the AI side of it, it'svery prevalent.
Obviously, it can be used forgood.
Obviously, it can be nefarious.
But at the same time, The oldtried and true methods, they are
still out there.
They will throw you that emailsaying, I'm a prince and I want

(01:01:13):
to give you$25,000.
But first you have to send me$2,500.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:22):
Let's do this.
I'm going to go to my spam box

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:25):
real quick.
Oh, my

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:28):
God.
Please hold.
Let me see if I can findanything.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:30):
Yeti is literally live right now on the show.
He's got scammer emails.

SPEAKER_03 (01:01:39):
Oh, here he goes.
Payment declined.
Yes.
so it says last reminder withsirens on it okay yes you know
that's coming from a legit placenow and okay it has my my email
address and then it has like a acapital a with a with a symbol
above it yep like a squigglyline has been blocked your

(01:02:02):
photos and videos will beremoved friday the 23rd may 25th
a with a symbol on the top itlooks like a book icon Take
action.
And then weird characters afterthat.
And it said, your payment hasexpired.
Please update your paymentinformation to avoid data loss.
Click here.

(01:02:24):
You want to know what's funny?
What's that?
I don't even take pictures.

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:28):
Trust me, I know.
I get the same shit.

SPEAKER_03 (01:02:34):
Delete them.
Delete them, bro.
I don't give a fuck.
You're going to deletescreenshots of the best meta
guns in Call of Duty.
Nobody

SPEAKER_04 (01:02:41):
cares.
Nobody fucking cares.
I will get random emails,especially in my junk box, spam
box, whatever, and it'll sayyour iCloud is about to lose all
of its blah, blah, blah, blah,blah.
I'll fill out this informationif you don't.
I'm like, bitch, I don't evenhave an iPhone.

(01:03:02):
Exactly.
Then

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:04):
delete

SPEAKER_04 (01:03:04):
it.
Please.
Yeah, please.
Or the one that I really lovethat I get quite often is the
email about Netflix.
Oh, your Netflix.
Update your payment for Netflixbefore it expires.
Now, I get it because there arepeople out there that will...

(01:03:27):
Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Share your story.

SPEAKER_03 (01:03:31):
So, my...
I have a lot of my accountslinked up with my debit card.
And it did expire.
Okay.
And I had to chase down.
I thought I changed them all.
And I got that Netflix fuckingemail around the same time it
was expiring.
And I was like, is Netflix setup like that?

(01:03:52):
I was like, I don't think I setit up that way.
I thought I used my checkingaccount on that one.
So I'm like, huh?
So I went into Netflix.
I didn't go through the link.
I was like, let me go to theNetflix app and look at my
account.
And sure as shit, when I went tothe Netflix app, opened it up, I
looked to see if I was current.
I was like, I'm current.
I looked to see how I pay.

(01:04:13):
Oh, it's completely different.
So then I was like, I went backto the email and they had a
period at the end of the X onNetflix.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:23):
And that's...
It's little shit like that.
Yes.
Yeah, it's little shit like thatthat they tell you to look for
because they can't necessarilyuse that specific name, Netflix,
because it is actually a thing.
Somebody owns that.
Yes, yes.
Somebody owns that.
So they can't use it.
So you've got to look for thelittle shit.

(01:04:43):
But that was one thing I wasgoing to say because people will
fall for that.
They'll be like, oh, shit, myNetflix account is about to
be...
Oh, shit, let me...
Click on this and update it realquick.
If you are unsure, if you'reever unsure, you get an email
about anything.
I'm talking to y'all, thelisteners, those listening right
now.
If you are ever unsure aboutanything that you get in your

(01:05:06):
email, go to the source.
Go to text message.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Text messages, anything likethat.
Go to the source.
If it says your Netflix is aboutto be suspended due to
nonpayment, Just jump in yourapp and see what it says.
Because literally, it willscream at you.
Because, you know, we've allbeen there where our shit
expires and it tries to fuckingcharge it.

(01:05:27):
And it's like, update yourpayments before we kick you off
of Netflix.
So it's like...
The app will tell you.
Yeah, open your app.

SPEAKER_03 (01:05:36):
The quickest way.
Fastest way.
You got two hours.
We're kicking you off,

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:46):
bro.
Update this shit before we cutyou off.
Oh, okay.
Well, let me do that becausethat's a legitimate source.
You know that is fuckingNetflix.
But it's Again, a lot of peopleare out there that will fall for
that shit, and that's the shittypart.
There's a reason why they keepdoing it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:03):
They go for the panic people, and

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:05):
they just hit that link, and that's what happens.
Click the link, put my stuff in,and usually they say it's
typically the elderly and thepeople that don't have a lot
going on that they go after themost.
They have the most success with.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:26):
the ones that kind of live underneath a rock, so to
speak.
Right,

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:31):
right.
Because they're like, oh, well,let me update this real quick.
And not even realizing that, youknow, you can just click your
app and see.
Like, it's that simple.
And, again, it sucks.
And I know, because I didwatch...

SPEAKER_03 (01:06:48):
I've heard horror stories about this shit.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:50):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Because I heard...
I don't remember if it...
Somebody was interviewingsomebody from, like, the dark
web.
And...
He asked him, because he was biginto stealing people's credit
card information and all thatkind of shit.
Yes.
And he asked him, he said, doesany part of you feel bad about
it?

(01:07:10):
You stealing money from people,is there any part of you that
feels bad about that?
And he's like, not really.
Because his reasoning was,because at the end of the day,
we're all going to get ourmoney.
yes, I took money from you, butyou're going to dispute that
charge from the bank, and thebank is going to give you your
money back.
That was his mindset.

(01:07:32):
His mindset is, you're going todispute the charge, the bank is
going to say, okay, gotcha,they'll verify, validate that it
is indeed fraudulent, and thenthey'll go ahead and give you
your money back.
Not realizing, though, that thatcould have an effect on us as a
consumer at that bank.
Right.
But the thing about that is,it's not their problem because

(01:07:55):
once they're done with you, theymay never come back to you ever
again.
They might, there, there, thereare over 8 billion people on
this planet.
So it's like, but at the sametime, like you're fucking up my
cred.

SPEAKER_03 (01:08:10):
Right.
And the other thing too, like,like you said, there's 8 billion
people and the chances of ithappening to you is probably
slim.
So that's why people alsoprobably just sweep it
underneath the rug and don'tlisten to conversations like,
Because there is some knowledgebehind this conversation we're
having right now.
Even though we're having jokesand laughing about it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:08:30):
There's knowledge and lessons to be learned at
every turn that you come to.
Again, there are people outthere that will fall for it.
People that will literally notthink twice about clicking that
link.
The best case scenario, if youdon't know who that's coming

(01:08:52):
from, Don't click that bitch.
Go to the source.
Go to the person that isliterally supposedly coming from

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:00):
here.
If you're that old school aboutit, don't even use your phone or
don't use apps.
Call the number.
Call the number.
Call the customer service numberand talk to somebody and talk.

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:12):
Yeah, they'll let you know immediately.
Oh, no, we haven't tried toreach out to you.
We haven't sent you emails.
Oh, okay.
Oh, perfect.
Now,

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:21):
have you ever answered a phone call or a text
message or an email when you'vegotten anything like that for
shits and giggles?

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:30):
Now, phone calls, I don't get them often anymore
because now that everything'sautomated and shit like that,
there's really nobody to talkto.
Now, I have answered phonecalls.
I absolutely have.
Would

SPEAKER_03 (01:09:44):
you like to share one?

SPEAKER_04 (01:09:45):
So, with phone calls, I typically, like...
Oh, my God.
I'm trying to remember...
I'm trying to remember a momentthat I had.
It was years ago.
And I, like...
I had awful...
I did not live right, okay?

(01:10:06):
Let's just start there.
I love the way you fuckingsummed that up.
I'm just going to.
A little fun fact about SweetBaby J.
I did not live right whatsoever.
So, yeah, I got payday loanslike forever ago.
I got that shit.
I dove head first into that shitand straight up.
I'm talking interest rates oflike 283%.

(01:10:28):
That is criminal.
But I was young and stupid andwanted some money, right?
So I literally was like, you oweme a thousand back.
Yeah.
Here's, here's 200 bucks.
Now you owe$2,000.
I'm like, yo, that's gotta beillegal, but I don't care.
Sign me up right now.

(01:10:50):
So again, I wasn't living right.
But after I have cleaned allthat mess up, right.
And I, and I got wiser, gotolder and just stopped being a
fucking shithead.
Um, I did get a phone call onceupon a time and I, the guy on
the other line, he was literallylike, it was, okay.
So it was basically like one ofthe, one of the payday loans

(01:11:11):
that I had back then.
Um, you know, I, I learned aboutall my rights and everything
with all that shit and, and, andgot that all taken care of just,
just to preface that.
But they called me up and it wassupposedly a, about one of the,
one of the payday loans.
And this guy was like, he'slike, so, oh shit.
I'm trying to remember.
Hang on.

(01:11:31):
Okay.
So he's like, he's like, He'slike, so you owe X amount of
dollars.
I'm like, okay, well, this iswhat I was told about this whole
thing.
And he basically tried to tellme that he was calling me
because we've been trying to geta hold of you.
I'm trying to serve you, allthat kind of stuff.
I was like, oh, okay.
Because I was told that I willnever get a phone call about

(01:11:53):
stuff like this.
You'll just show the fuck up atwhere I am because you know
where I work.
You know where I live.
You're just going to show thefuck up.
You're not going to give me aphone call and give me a heads
up.
You're going to show up and giveme papers.
That doesn't happen.
I was like, this is what Iheard.
I was like, so, I mean, what arewe going to do?

(01:12:16):
How are we going to cross thisbridge?
And Apparently, that set himoff.
Because I was told by theAttorney General of our state
that this is how you respond.
This is what the AttorneyGeneral was telling me.
He was like, this is how yourespond to this, and I promise
you it'll send them into atizzy.
And boy, was he right.
Because this dude got so pissed.
He was like, what the fuck doyou mean, how are we going to

(01:12:39):
cross this bridge?
He was like, you have somethingto pay.
You said you were going to payit.
You need to fucking pay it rightnow.
I was like, okay, cool.
I was like, I mean...
I took care of all this likemonths, years ago at this point.
I was like, so, I mean, no.
This guy literally was like, no.
Yeah, and this guy literally waslike, okay, well, you know

(01:13:00):
what's going to happen?
He's like, you still workingover at such and such?
Now, mind you, have a whole newjob, right?
And I've been working here forlike two years at this point.
He's like, you still workinghere at such and such?
I was like, yep.
No, and I don't.
Knowing I don't.
And he was like, well, I'mcoming down there right now and
I'm going to put you in cuffs.

(01:13:20):
And I hope I arrest you in frontof your supervisor so he knows
what kind of person you are.
I was like, I'll see you whenyou get here.

SPEAKER_01 (01:13:26):
He

SPEAKER_04 (01:13:32):
hung up on me so fast.
I was like, wow, they really doget pissed off when you drop
that information on them.
I was like...
That's wild.
But he was just telling me thereare predatory loans and stuff
like that.
Again, I took care of all that.

(01:13:53):
The most fun I've had so farwith all of these is the text
messages that I have received.

SPEAKER_03 (01:14:05):
See, I'm always afraid to respond to them
because I feel like my brain...
Because my brain goes, if yourespond, they can get into your
phone.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:12):
No! Listen, they're simply sending you a text
message.
Again, it's just like a phishingemail, right?
They're trying to getinformation out of you.
You know, they're basicallytrying to start a conversation.
Get your name, where you live,all that shit.
And if you don't give them that,they leave you alone.
They just disappear off into thewhatever.

(01:14:33):
They already have your fuckingnumber.
Obviously, they have informationabout you.
So what?
You

SPEAKER_02 (01:14:41):
know

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:42):
what I mean?
Like the most they're going toget from me is a fucking
headache.
And that's what I absolutelylove.
That's why I love responding tothese people over text messages.
message because it is so muchfun.
Again, nowadays, the robot callsare basically what most of them
are, but I have saved a few ofthese conversations for the

(01:15:03):
simple enjoyment that I like togo back and read some of these.

SPEAKER_03 (01:15:07):
Is this your reading material when you're taking a
shit?

SPEAKER_04 (01:15:10):
Honestly, every now and then, yes, because it makes
me chuckle.
Get the load out.
Anyway, It honestly does.
It honestly does.
It makes me chuckle, but let mesurf my messages here because I
think the audience willabsolutely love some of these
conversations.
Now, they are just totallyrandom numbers, okay, because

(01:15:31):
I'm sure whoever it is, they'reusing some kind of like VPN or
something that randomize phonenumbers.
I'm sure 80, 84, 82 all got thesame message.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Everybody's getting the sameshit I'm getting, but are they
responding?
That's going to be the question.
So I have a text message here.

(01:15:54):
I got a few that I'm going toread, and I think y'all are
going to get a kick out of this.
So they messaged me and said,how's your day going?
What are you doing?
I respond, selling drugs.
What are you doing?
They reply, LOL.
Are you mad?

(01:16:15):
I'm at office.
I know you are kidding me.
I respond.
Nope.
I'm selling hardcore drugs.
You need some?
They reply.
Really?
I'm so confused.
Hey, LOL.
I'm serious, Julia.
Where are you?
It's me, Zoya.
I reply.
At the corner.

(01:16:36):
Selling drugs.
They respond.
Three little question marks.
I reply, are you inquiring?
$10 for a dime bag.
They respond, what?
I'm totally confused.
I hate drugs.

(01:16:56):
I reply, then get off my phone.
This is my work phone.
Get off it.
I never got a reply back afterthat.
So again, it really does comedown to like, What you tell
these people.
And I have a name that I go bynow.

(01:17:18):
Whenever I get a text messagefrom these.
I'll go to my next one.
They text me.
Said hello.
I reply.
Who this is?
Who this is?
They respond.

(01:17:38):
Excuse me.
Is this Mike's phone number?
I'm Isabella.
I reply, Mike Hawk or Mike Hunt?

SPEAKER_01 (01:17:53):
That was golden.
Before you said that,

SPEAKER_03 (01:17:58):
I said I would

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:58):
respond, are you looking for Hunt or Mike Hawk?
Or Mike Hunt.
Hawk never got a response tothat.
I wonder why.
I wonder why.
So again, depending on my mood.
I will absolutely go bar forbar, word for word with these

(01:18:19):
people just to see how farthey'll take it, just to see if
they'll have as much fun as I'mhaving because they don't get
anything out of me.
I never tell them my name.
Again, they already have mynumber.
I'm sure they have my namesomewhere, right?
They're probably trying to getmore information, a credit card,
something like that, my address,anything.
So I have another one.

(01:18:40):
This one's very short.
It says, good morning.
do you have time to go shoppingwith me tomorrow?
And I reply, for drugs.
No reply after that.
No reply.
No reply after that, becausethey're like, no, not even going
to do it.
Here's another one that Ienjoyed.

(01:19:02):
It says, good morning.
Do you have time to go shoppingwith me tomorrow?
Familiar?

SPEAKER_02 (01:19:07):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:09):
I reply, where?
They respond, Alice, have youforgotten?
I reply, yeah, it's this damnedCTE.

SPEAKER_03 (01:19:25):
No reply.
I'd have been like, only if wego to Wonderland.
Only

SPEAKER_04 (01:19:33):
if we go to Wonderland.
It's fucking nuts down there.
Apparently they're all mad.
I have a lot of fun with thesepeople.
And some of them, I don't knowif I have it, but there's been a
few that are like, I had a goodtime chatting with you.
I'm like, I'm glad you did.
Now get off of my phone.
Don't text me again.

(01:19:55):
Literally, I do break some ofthem down because I'm in that
kind of mood.
So here's another one that I'vegot for you.
It says, hello.
I respond.
I said, I'm doing great.
How are you?
They reply, I'm pretty good,thanks.
I'm Bella.

(01:20:15):
Nice to meet you here.
Sends me some picture of some AIphotoed woman.
I said, neat.
Was she hot?
Oh, I mean, she's Asian and shedoes look decent.
But I'm like, okay.
I respond, neat.
Are you a little lost?
They respond, thank.

(01:20:37):
Don't know what that means.
Yeah.
I see this number in my contact,but no name, so I think we used
to talk before.
If you don't mind, may I knowyour name?
I reply.

SPEAKER_03 (01:20:50):
You gave her some fucking dumb name.
I know you did.
I don't

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:52):
want to fuck this up.
I said...
I was laughing so hard when Iwrote this.
I replied, Guadalupe Mejor RojoAntonio Banderas.

(01:21:14):
hang on wait they reply you havea nice name i like your name you
can call me bella oh okay wheredo you live i live in boston

(01:21:35):
massachusetts i reply that'snice do you ever tried sniffing
coke That's how I responded,okay?
That's how I responded.
Have you ever tried sniffingcoke?
They replied, so do you live inKentucky, right?
Now, obviously they know becausethey have my number.

(01:21:56):
It's 859.
You can look up the area.
Right.
And I replied, nah, I actuallystole this phone.
You need a hookup?
No reply after that.
I stole his phone.
He is fucking great.
So, again, they will do scaretactics.

(01:22:20):
They will absolutely try to getyou to panic, so that way you're
like, oh shit, what do I do?
Oh my god.
Again, they're texting you,they're calling you, they're
emailing you.
They have some sort ofinformation on you.
Your information is soldconstantly.
Yep.
It is just handed off toeverybody and their

SPEAKER_03 (01:22:39):
grandmother.
That wants it.
That is willing to pay for it.
They're not necessarily goingafter you.
They're buying a bag ofinformation.
Yep.
And that bag of information, youcould get passed around and
passed around and passed aroundand passed around and never get
got or get...
It's

SPEAKER_04 (01:22:55):
worse than D-Block.
You know what

SPEAKER_03 (01:22:59):
I'm saying?
Big facts.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:01):
For real, you will get passed around non-stop.
You will circulate throughoutthe dark web, wherever they pass
information.
You will circulate.
And eventually, somebody willreach out to you, especially
because we've had this numberactive for shit, almost 40 years
now.

SPEAKER_03 (01:23:20):
No, no, no.
It's been every bit of what...
25 every bit every bit that wasmy first number

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:28):
yeah that was this was your number and now i'm
using it and it's just it's justbeen active so i'm sure this
bitch has been passed around alot you know what i mean so i've
got another one and you're gonnalove this because i was totally
random on this day because i iat this point i just wanted to
see how far i could take it andjust to see if i could like just

(01:23:48):
if i can get him to quit realfast So they text me and says,
hello, how's everything been?
I reply.
I say, oh, you know, birds arescreaming for sex.
They respond.
Hi, excuse me.
I'm Tatiana.
Are you the yoga teacher Alicerecommended to me?

(01:24:10):
Apparently Alice has beentalking to everybody.
She gets around.
She gets around.
And then I reply, I love yogurt.
did you say yoga or yogurtyogurt yogurt i love i love
yogurt they respond sorry i'vejust checked the number and

(01:24:30):
realized that in my carelessnessi mixed up the area codes in the
number i hope this wrong messagedoesn't bother you i respond i
will lose sleep over this ithought i had a friend i thought
i had a friend They reply, Thankyou for understanding.
It's nice to meet someone askind and polite as you.

(01:24:52):
My name is Tatiana.
Yeah, we got that.
And I love making new friends.
What should I call you?
I reply, Neighborhood drugdealer.
Mike Hawk.
You love that

SPEAKER_03 (01:25:05):
name.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:07):
That's my name.
That's the name I go with.
They reply, I'm TatianaSmirnova, whatever name that is.
That's Russian.
Yeah, nice to meet you.
I'm 36.
I reply, I like turtles.
I like turtles.
They respond, I'm sorry, I don'tknow what you mean.
I reply, the toast will alwaysland on the dry side.

(01:25:36):
No reply.
That doesn't make any fuckingsense.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
But no reply.
No reply.

SPEAKER_03 (01:25:43):
That's hilarious, bro.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:44):
Oh, I'm not done yet, but I think I'm about
halfway through, so we'll bedone here momentarily.
This one said, long time no see.
This is my new number.
How are you doing recently?
See how that rhymed?
They made a rhyme.
Yes.
I replied, oh no, they're goingto find us.
You were supposed to keep thatnumber.

(01:26:04):
It was our only way to keep ourinformation encrypted.
No reply.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Next one.
I'm telling you, I got so manyof them.

(01:26:26):
It says, hello.
I respond, hi.
They respond, what have you beenup to recently?
Long time no see.
Oh, you know, digging up moles.
I don't know.
Just anything.

(01:26:46):
They reply.
You're not Amy?
I'm Faye.
I reply.
And I'm your typical deep seadweller, the anglerfish.
They respond.
I also like fishing very much.

(01:27:07):
And I like eating fish, lol.
I'm very sorry to bother you.
I reply.
I don't know how I'll recoverfrom this disruption.
They respond.
Where are you from?
I reply.
A pineapple under the sea.

SPEAKER_03 (01:27:28):
The next person that writes you and they say, hey,
are you such and such?
You're like, no, I'm D-E-E.
I'm D.
I'm D.
And then say, would you like mylast name too?
And if they say yes, say nuts.

SPEAKER_01 (01:27:43):
Nuts! Nuts! D-Nuts!

SPEAKER_04 (01:27:48):
That's a good one, Ashley.
So they reply, you are sohumorous.
I respond, I can also tastesounds.
They reply, I can't get bettercommunication with you.
Excuse me?
I respond, if you listenclosely, the color orange tastes

(01:28:08):
like the inside of cilantro.
If you listen closely.

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:21):
The

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:21):
fuck, dude?
They reply,

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:22):
Goodbye.
They actually responded thatthey were not going to talk to
you anymore.
That's fabulous.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:29):
I responded, farewell.

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:31):
Don't forget

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:31):
to write.
They said goodbye.
I

SPEAKER_03 (01:28:42):
wonder if these people go home after a hard day
of work.
They take their shoes off.
look at this significant otherand say, man, what a story for
you.

SPEAKER_01 (01:28:57):
This guy told me he lived in a fucking pineapple
under the sea.
Yes.
He caught himself an angler

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:09):
fish.
I didn't know what to do withthat.
I

SPEAKER_03 (01:29:15):
thought our kids were crazy because they want to
identify as a cat.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:18):
Right.
But he's over here saying, I'man angler fish, and he lives in
a pineapple under the sea.
I don't understand.
I'll take my cat kid over this.
No shit.
In a day of the week.
No shit.
No shit.
Again, depending on the moodthat I'm in, because I do get a
lot.
I will get a bunch of these, andI'll just delete them.

(01:29:39):
Delete, get out of here, block

SPEAKER_03 (01:29:41):
the number.
And that's the thing.
I just, in my brain, we alwaystalk about your time is very
valuable.
That's like the one thing you'llnever get back.
It's whatever.
Absolutely.
I just like, nope, I'm notresponding.
And I've gotten a couple ofthese, hey, and you know what's
crazy is I just deleted thesethings like a month ago.
And I didn't respond to any ofthem.

(01:30:02):
I didn't respond to them.
They were just sitting in my...
Yeah, they were just sittingthere and I finally cleaned out
my...
And stuff, but yeah.
But now, the thing is, kind ofgoing back to the phishing
emails, I was on vacation thisweek.
Literally yesterday, I spent theentire day going through the...
Junk mail that have made itthrough and I went unsubscribe

(01:30:25):
to all of them Which took I feltI felt like maybe like two hours
to do Because you have to go toeach one and I didn't check my
mail for two weeks.

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:33):
Yeah Yeah,

SPEAKER_03 (01:30:34):
so I like a thousand emails and that's not that much
compared to some people right?
But for me, that's a lot.
No, which is like when you clickunsubscribe.
They're like I We hate to seeyou go.
Well, for the record, I wasnever here.
I was kidnapped.
I never joined.
I never wanted to be here tobegin with.
So don't thank me for fuckingleaving.

(01:30:55):
I

SPEAKER_04 (01:30:56):
never joined.
I did not consciously sign upfor this.
I wound up on a list somewherebecause you got my information
from somebody and now you'relike, hey, spam emails.
I'm like, no.
Here you go.
Fuck off.

SPEAKER_03 (01:31:13):
There's some that don't even have an unsubscribe
button.
Yeah.
Like, I got one from Elon Musk.
You know him?
Apparently, bro.
Yeah, I do.
But, like, if you go to theemail, you go to the email, and,
like, it loads, like, oh, man,you know what?
I need to find it.

(01:31:34):
Please find it.
But you go to the email, and,like, you see it.
Hold on.
Let me see if I can find one.
Go ahead.
But, no, in...
It loads the top part, but theemail's like super fucking long.

SPEAKER_04 (01:31:48):
Yeah.
I'm sure when you open it, itprobably looks like code,
doesn't it?
Like somebody wrote

SPEAKER_03 (01:31:54):
code.
No, it looks normal.
Let me go to my trash.
Where's my trash email?
Because it's going to be inthere.
Because it was just recently.
When I find it...
Come on.
There it is.
Hold on.
I just seen Elon.

SPEAKER_04 (01:32:10):
I just seen Elon Musk!

SPEAKER_03 (01:32:14):
Go ahead with your thing, and I'm going to find it
real quick.

SPEAKER_04 (01:32:17):
Okay, so this one here was kind of fun.
It was a little bit different.
Now, I think this is kind of onethat I...
This was from one of the peoplethat I definitely had a
conversation with a while ago,and I wish I would have kept
that one because that one waskind of funny.
But this one says, Hey, Eric...
I'm Jay from Direct Home Buyers.
We're acquiring homes in town,and your neighborhood recently

(01:32:39):
caught our eye.
Open to discovering a new way tomove on from your property as
such and such and such and such?
I'd love to know if you're freefor a call.
And I replied, did you know thatyou can immobilize a shark for
about 10 minutes by simplyflipping it upside down?

SPEAKER_03 (01:32:57):
No reply.
I was hoping he was going to askfor your address.
And if you ever get that,fucking give him the White House
address.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:06):
Man, I'm telling you.
Yes, I want to do that.
I want to do that someday.
I'm trying to see if I gotanything else.
I think that might have been thelast one.

SPEAKER_03 (01:33:16):
Bro.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:17):
Yeah, I think that might have been the last one.

SPEAKER_03 (01:33:19):
Okay, here's what you need to do.
You need to get a president'sinformation that's like from
like 1901.
I don't know when the firstpresident was, but get it like
when it was super old or likethe 1800s president.
How far does the presidency goback?
I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:35):
I mean, our first president was George Washington.

SPEAKER_03 (01:33:39):
First president.
And what year was that?
I don't remember.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:42):
Well, we're about to find out.
He was the first U.S.

SPEAKER_03 (01:33:45):
president.

SPEAKER_04 (01:33:45):
1700s.
He was born in 1732.
Served from 1789 to 1797.

SPEAKER_03 (01:33:54):
Yeah, so what you need to say is your name is
George Washington.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Change your date of birth tosomething that's a little bit
more real.
And then when they ask where youlive, give them the fucking
White House address.

SPEAKER_04 (01:34:13):
Oh, my God.
Now that would actually befunny.
That would actually behilarious.
Because they'd be like, oh,shit.
They might panic and be like,oh, fuck, he's fed.
Delete, delete, delete, delete,delete, delete.
I was not there.
Where'd you go?
Yeah, just forget I was here.
Forget everything we just talkedabout.
So, there you go.

(01:34:34):
Found this email.

SPEAKER_03 (01:34:35):
Yeah, read your email.
So, it says verified delivery atthe top, right?
Okay.
So, like, yeah.
And it's him holding a fuckingportable AC unit.
The fuck?
I don't fucking know.
But look, it looks like normaland legit, right?
I don't know if I can turn thisdown a little bit.
So, and you can't even fuckingsee it.

(01:34:55):
Damn it.
Come on, focus, camera.

SPEAKER_04 (01:34:57):
There you go.
There it goes.
Oh, now it's...
Come on, focus.
Now you're going to have aproblem.
There you go.
There you go.
A little bit closer.
There you go.
There you go.
Nope.
Nope.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:09):
All right.
Yeah, there we go.
Did it for a second.
Anyways, but anyways, so then itjust turns black.
And it just keeps going.
And look at the...
Oops.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:17):
You

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:18):
changed.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:18):
you moved it.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:20):
Yeah.
You swiped.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:21):
You're not supposed to swipe.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:22):
Swipe

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:23):
or no

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:23):
swipey.
Okay, anyways.
So, as you're scrolling, right?
It turns black.
And you see my scroll bar?

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:30):
Yep.
Yeah, that's long.
Look at this shit.
That's long.
Look at this shit.
Look at this shit.
It's so good.
Just keep swimming.
Just keep swimming.
Just keep swimming.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:40):
Because usually you can find the unsubscribe button
at the bottom.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:43):
Yeah, that doesn't have one.

SPEAKER_03 (01:35:44):
It doesn't have one.
And it's literally just apicture.
And it says, get your portableAC now.

SPEAKER_04 (01:35:52):
That was definitely by design.
Get your portable AC.
You have no choice but to buythis AC.
Buy it.
Go buy the AC.
Buying it is a form of buyingit.
Not buying it is a form ofbuying it.
Go buy the AC.
What?
What?
No, I don't want this stupidfucking AC.

SPEAKER_03 (01:36:12):
There

SPEAKER_04 (01:36:13):
you go.
There's the fun stuff that I doevery now and then.
And I hear you when you say timeis precious.
It absolutely is.
But with text messages, again,depending on my mood, if I'm in
the mood to fuck with people, Ihave the time.
I have all day.

(01:36:35):
You want to talk to me?
Cool.
Let's make it happen.
Let's make it happen.
You're either going to, you'reeither going to love the
conversation we have, or you areabsolutely going to hate it.
Like the one that just says,just straight up says goodbye.
Like literally like.

SPEAKER_03 (01:36:48):
It's

SPEAKER_04 (01:36:49):
fucking good.
That's fucking gold.
When I read that, all I heardwas the AOL voice.
Goodbye.
Like just

SPEAKER_01 (01:36:54):
lock me out.

SPEAKER_04 (01:36:57):
That's all I heard in my head.
I was like, oh, he left thechat.
This man literally said, I'mout.
Like, I'm done.
I've tried.
I've given the old college try.
Nope.
He noped right out of thatconversation.
And that's why I'm like, for me,it's that simple.

(01:37:18):
But for other people,especially, again, elderly
people, elderly folks,especially like those ones that
are like, oh, is this Isabella?
Is this Amy?
Is this so-and-so?
It's like they're throwing out aname and hopefully get lucky,
right?
Because if it isn't Isabella,I'm going to fall for this and

(01:37:40):
say, oh, I must have met yousomewhere.
What's going on?
Oh, you want to meet me here orwhatever?
Or, hey, I have a problemgetting a cab.
You want to cash out me someapp?
You want to Venmo me?
You want to PayPal me?
And it's like, don't fall forthat shit.
Just don't fall for it.
Just give them a hard time.

(01:38:01):
Have a little bit of fun withit.
Give them a hard time.
And then go about your business.
I promise you, they mightcome...
They might come back.
I don't know.
I don't know if it's the samepeople.

SPEAKER_03 (01:38:11):
It's the same guy.
He tried...
He's staring at his fuckingwhiteboard like...
I'm gonna get this guy.
And he's just marking off eachtime he fails.
And he's just like, I will getthis motherfucker one day.
One day or another.

SPEAKER_04 (01:38:32):
I'm gonna get you.

UNKNOWN (01:38:33):
I'm gonna...

SPEAKER_04 (01:38:34):
i'm his fucking unicorn that's exactly what that
is i'm his unicorn he's like ifi keep trying one of these days
he's gonna fall for it and it'slike i don't know buddy that
many times that many times if itis one person that many times i
would chalk that up as a yeahi'm not getting anything out of
this guy

SPEAKER_03 (01:38:53):
or or he's your he's his stress reliever You're his
stress reliever.
He gets all these fucking...
Yeah, he just goes to you for achuckle at the end of the day.
You're his coffee break.

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:09):
After the first encounter, he's like, you
know...
I'm

SPEAKER_03 (01:39:13):
keeping him.

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:13):
Yeah, he's cool.

SPEAKER_03 (01:39:19):
He's cool.
At the moment you actuallyrespond with the correct
answers, he's like, wait, wait,

SPEAKER_04 (01:39:24):
what?
He's literally going to breakcharacter and be like, are you
okay?
No, for real, are you okay?
Do you need to talk?
I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm here if you need to talk.
He's like, I don't need anyinformation from you.
I just need to know, are yougood?
Like, are you cool?

(01:39:45):
You're not acting like yourself.
You're not.
Now I'm kind of hoping.
I'm kind of hoping it's the sameperson.
Oh, fuck, man.
I kind of am now.
But yeah, I just wanted to sharesome of those to give you an

(01:40:05):
idea of, like, number one, howto handle that situation.
Number two, just be aware.
Be aware of what they're tryingto do, what they're looking for,
all that kind of shit.
Because, again, it's the samething as fishing.
They're throwing a name outthere, hoping to get lucky.
um they're they're usingprobably common names that would

(01:40:26):
be used the most and and andchuck that out there and and
hopefully get lucky and andmatch a name you know what i'm
saying and

SPEAKER_03 (01:40:35):
or their response of no i'm such and such yeah

SPEAKER_04 (01:40:38):
no this is so and so oh i'm sorry it's the wrong
number then but it's very niceto meet you and then try to act
like they want to buddy you knowthey try to butter you up and
get information out of you soit's like just just don't fall
for it you know if you if you ifyou're not like Like me, you
don't want to have fun?
Delete it.
Delete

SPEAKER_03 (01:40:55):
the message.
Yeah, you want to be lame likeme, just delete it.
Ignore it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:40:58):
Delete it.
Move on.
If you want to have fun, like Ido, come on.
Have fun with it.
Just tell them stupid-assfucking shit.
Be like, you know what?
Did you know?
Did you know?
Did you know?

(01:41:19):
It just hit him with stupidrandom facts.
Tell them about how ants canlift 10 times their own body
weight.
Just do stupid shit.
And they'll be like, what thefuck?
Or they'll tell you goodbye.
Just examples of random shit todo.
But yeah, scammers, they're outthere.

(01:41:40):
Be weary.
Be aware.
Again, I know it's a littlestrange for us to talk about,
but...
I know we all have to deal withemails and text messages and
phone numbers.
Again, we've talked about it alot.
AI, people use it for nefariousshit nowadays.
So we just want you to be aware.
Be careful and protect yourself.

(01:42:02):
Protect the people you know.
And let them know.
Pass the word along.
And if they want to have funwith you, let them have fun with
them.
It's a good time.
You can absolutely get a goodlaugh out of it.
And then you can keep thosemessages and share them with
your friends, and they'll get akick out of it.
Yes, they will.
They will.

(01:42:22):
It's funny.
It's funny when you hear stufflike that.
You're like, God damn, and theywere still texting you?
Like on some of them, I'm like,you're really not going to give
up.
That's amazing.
Nope.

SPEAKER_03 (01:42:36):
Nope.
Nope.

SPEAKER_04 (01:42:37):
So...
Yeah, that's always fun.
I know I did a lot of talkingtoday, but...

SPEAKER_03 (01:42:43):
You did do a lot of talking.
It's because you fuck with

SPEAKER_04 (01:42:47):
them.
Yeah, I fuck with them.
I have stories to share.
Yes.
To me, it's entertainment.
It's entertainment.
I like to troll people anyway.
And if I can't troll peoplewithout them...
If I can't troll people...
in front of me immediately.
They come to me now.
I

SPEAKER_03 (01:43:07):
don't even leave my house.

SPEAKER_01 (01:43:09):
I ain't got to do anything.
They just come to me.

SPEAKER_03 (01:43:12):
Door dashing troll

SPEAKER_04 (01:43:13):
activities is what they're doing.
Exactly.
Straight door dashing trollactivities and I'm fine with it.
I just have to stay under myfucking troll bridge and I'm
good.
I'm good.
So there you go.
Just do with that informationwhat you will.
Be careful out there.
Protect you and your people thatyou know.
Spread awareness.
That's all I'm saying.

(01:43:34):
But other than that, good talk,Yeti.
Yes, good talk.
I know we're actually a littleover right now.

SPEAKER_03 (01:43:42):
I know, which is fucking shocking.
That's amazing.

SPEAKER_04 (01:43:47):
I'm impressed.
I am impressed.
So we'll go into some fun andgames.
Do you want some fun and games?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm the only one here.
There's only one participant.
Listen, technically, too.
Let me just ask you a question.

(01:44:08):
Let me put this out there toyou.
Okay.
I'm going to ask you to choose aside,

SPEAKER_03 (01:44:13):
and it's red pill or blue pill.
Oh, I wonder if this is afucking picture that I
screenshot, because I see someof this random shit.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Okay, it's not.
Mine are four pills.
Okay,

SPEAKER_04 (01:44:27):
go

SPEAKER_03 (01:44:27):
ahead.

SPEAKER_04 (01:44:28):
Okay.
I got a red pill side.
I got a blue pill side.
Red pill.
You ready?
These are the sides you'rechoosing.
It's going to be Adam Sandlermovies.
Big Daddy.

SPEAKER_02 (01:44:40):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:44:41):
The Waterboy.
Okay.
Happy Gilmore.
Okay.
Billy Madison.

SPEAKER_02 (01:44:47):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:44:48):
Little Nicky.
That's your red pill.

SPEAKER_02 (01:44:51):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:44:51):
Blue pill.
Jim Carrey's eye.
You got The Mask.
Ace Ventura Pet Detective.
The Cable Guy.
Liar Liar.
And Dumb and Dumber.
Which pill are you taking?
The crazy part is, I've actuallyseen every single one of these

(01:45:17):
movies.

SPEAKER_03 (01:45:18):
Yeah, same here, same here.
And I can tell you, in myopinion, and this could be the
weakest Jim Carrey movie out ofthem five, for me, would be
Cable.
Okay.
Even though it's a classic, it'sfunny as fuck.
But out of the ones that youmentioned, that's the weakest

(01:45:41):
out of the five, in my opinion.
Adam Sandler's side, again, howmuch I enjoyed it, still the
weakest, Little Nicky.
Ooh, really?
What were the other ones?
Happy

SPEAKER_04 (01:45:57):
Gilmore, Billy Madison,

SPEAKER_03 (01:45:59):
The Waterboy, Big Daddy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Little Nicky.
Yeah.
Easy.
Easy on that one.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:46:06):
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.

SPEAKER_03 (01:46:08):
And, and, and just, I'm just trying to like, I don't
know.
I'm trying to rate and see whichones I gravitate toward more and
it's going to have to be AceVentura.
I mean, the water boy had me,no, not the water boy.
Uh, Ace Ventura, paid detectivehad me in a fucking chokehold.
Oh yeah.
It still had me.
Yeah.
Still quote it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:46:27):
You still

SPEAKER_03 (01:46:27):
quote it to this day.
And that's what I'm saying.
Like fucking chokehold.
For 20 years.
I get it.
I

SPEAKER_04 (01:46:34):
get

SPEAKER_03 (01:46:34):
it.
So are you popping the blue

SPEAKER_04 (01:46:35):
pill?

SPEAKER_03 (01:46:36):
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm going blue pill.

SPEAKER_04 (01:46:38):
Okay.
Okay.
Because it would be hard to turnmy back on Ace Ventura.
You're not wrong.
It would be hard.
Right.
And I love Liar Liar.
Right.
And the mask was super zany.
And again, it fit Jim Carrey.
And I quote the mask on a daily.

SPEAKER_03 (01:46:58):
See?
I'm literally

SPEAKER_04 (01:47:00):
like...
But you told me to freeze.
He's like, all right, all right,unfreeze.
So it's like, it's hard to givethat up because Jim Carrey has
had some bangers.
But I go to the red pill sideand I'm like, Big Daddy,

SPEAKER_01 (01:47:19):
but I wipe my own ass.
I wipe my own ass.

SPEAKER_04 (01:47:25):
Hip Hop Anonymous?
Damn you, you gave him all theeasy ones.
You come to my store?
You never order BLT.
Stay away from BLT.
He's like, all right, stopscaring the kid.
The fucking water boy.
My mama said, my mama said, mymama said, stop picking on me.

SPEAKER_03 (01:47:46):
This is some

SPEAKER_04 (01:47:48):
high quality ice.
He spit in the water cooler.
happy gilmore and we're finallygetting a

SPEAKER_03 (01:48:00):
sequel and we're getting a sequel

SPEAKER_04 (01:48:02):
now

SPEAKER_03 (01:48:03):
i still think this i honestly because we had this
discussion last podcast if i'mnot mistaken uh i don't think it
will be as good as the first ithink it's just going to be a
nostalgic movie

SPEAKER_04 (01:48:15):
for the most part that's that's all it's going to
be but billy madison back toschool yes to school He's like,
everybody peacing their pants.
It's the cool thing to do.
And then he fucking pisses.
Yeah, he pisses his fuckingpants.
He gets drunk and sees thepenguin everywhere.
It's too hot out here for apenguin.
He's like, oh, I'm sorry.

(01:48:37):
I didn't know you had company.
Carry on.
Little Nicky.
Little Nicky.
I know.
Honestly, when Little Nicky cameout, I watched that movie over
and over and over again becausethat shit was fucking hilarious.
You can do it.
Cover Winkler and Bees again.
You can do it.

(01:48:57):
He's like, sorry, Henry.
Say Mr.
Beebe.
Say Mr.
Beebe.
Mr.
Beebe.
And I left.

SPEAKER_03 (01:49:10):
I mean, they're all great movies, but again, going
off of which ones, it's going tobe, I'm sorry, it's going to be
Jim Carrey.
I'm not, but I say that, but I'mnot taking anything away from
it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:49:23):
I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
Because for me, it's a toughdecision.
But I would probably have to goRed Pill.
For me, I'd have to go Red Pill.
You're going Adam.
I hate to turn my back on AceVentura like that.
That's fair.
I'd have to pop the Red Pill.
Because honestly, I'd venture tosay I've watched...

(01:49:44):
I'm just basing it off of howmany times I've watched each
movie.
That's fair.
And each movie on Adam Sandler'sside, I have watched multiple
times and have gotten a verygood guffaw out of each one.
On Jim Carrey's side, I'dprobably say the only ones I've

(01:50:05):
watched multiple times would beAce Ventura, The Cable Guy...
and maybe Liar Liar.
Like Dumb and Dumber I've seen afew times.
I didn't bother watching Dumband Dumber-er.
I heard it was kind of a miss.
I heard it was kind of a miss.
The Mask, I've watched a coupleof times here and there.

(01:50:27):
I still enjoy it.
Cause it's Jim Carrey.
You know, we watched thefucking, how the Grinch stole
Christmas.
Yeah.
Like

SPEAKER_03 (01:50:36):
three weeks ago,

SPEAKER_04 (01:50:36):
like three weeks ago.
And I fucking love it.
I'm a psycho.
No, it is.
It's, it's fucking good.
He's hilarious.
I, again, like you said, I takenothing away from Jim Carrey,
but for me, Adam said those,that, that those movies are, had
me in a chokehold for a longtime.
And that's where I'm like, I'dhave to take the red pill.

(01:50:58):
I would have to, because yeah,those would take up a lot of my
time.

SPEAKER_03 (01:51:02):
See, I lived in Pet Detective.
I mean, I don't know how manytimes.
See?
No, I couldn't even.
And then Lila, I watched quite afew also, as well as Mask.

SPEAKER_01 (01:51:20):
Mama.

SPEAKER_03 (01:51:22):
Cable Guy and Dumb and Dumber, I'd have to say,
I've watched Cable Guy just afew times, and then Dumb and
Dumber a little more than a few.
Right.
See, now, I thought you had thispicture, because I screenshot
random shit that I put up on,like, TikTok or whatever, and
I'm like, ooh, this is going tobe a good conversation to start

(01:51:44):
at some point during thepodcast.
That's what I do.
Yeah, and this one's got four...
The Martian, Superman, Goku, andOmni-Man from Invincible.
Yep.
And it says, green pill, redpill, blue pill, white pill.
Become a Martian, become aKryptonian, become a Saiyan,

(01:52:05):
become...

SPEAKER_04 (01:52:06):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, we kind of did somethinglike that a little while ago.
Yeah.
On a fun and games.
It was like either become aSaiyan or something else.

UNKNOWN (01:52:16):
Yes.

SPEAKER_04 (01:52:17):
And everybody was like, well, if you become a
Saiyan, you have the opportunityto turn into a Super Saiyan, but
you got to work for it.
Right.
Had a whole discussion aboutthat.
But no, like if ever, if everyou do hold on to them and we
can stay up for fun and games.
But yeah, there you go.
All right.
Well, we'll try to wrap this upreal quick.
Finally, we'll come to our funfact.

(01:52:38):
Do you want one?
Do you want a fun fact?

SPEAKER_03 (01:52:41):
Sure.
Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 (01:52:42):
Okay.
This is going to be, it's kindof funny that I picked this one.
Especially after the story youtold earlier about your toilet
mishap.

SPEAKER_01 (01:52:53):
Did you

SPEAKER_04 (01:52:56):
know that the largest piece of fossilized
dinosaur poo discovered is over30 centimeters long and over 2
liters in volume?
Believed to be a TyrannosaurusRex turd, the fossilized dung
also named a coprolite ishelping scientists better

(01:53:19):
understand what the dinosaurate.
So, what does that mean?
Does fossilized dinosaur pooexist?
Well, of course.
Dino dung can provide directevidence about what these
prehistoric reptiles ate.
Dinosaurs, like all animals,would have needed to expel
waste.
Sometimes pieces of dinosaurfeces turned into fossils, which

(01:53:44):
we can find today.
These are called Somepaleontologists specialize in
studying coprolites and use themto understand what food
dinosaurs ate and how they fitinto larger food chains.
The most famous dinosaurcoprolite is an enormous
specimen found in lateCretaceous rocks in Canada.

(01:54:06):
At over 30 centimeters long andmore than 2 liters in volume,
this huge piece of scat couldonly have been produced...
by the largest predator in theecosystem, and that would be the
Tyrannosaurus rex.
Although a T-Rex poo in itselfis interesting or perhaps
disgusting, depending on yoursensibilities, this fossil is

(01:54:28):
also important.
It's full of chunks of bone,which tell us that T-Rex could
bite so hard that it crushed thebones of its prey.
A highly unusual way of eatingwith no obvious modern
equivalent.
other dinosaur coprolites havebeen found with plants inside
and one even containsdecomposing wood a sign that the

(01:54:52):
dinosaur was supplementing itsnutrition with fungi and bugs
that feed on rotting logs thereyou go they can actually kind of
get an inside view of whatdinosaurs were eating back in
the day how their diet was likeBut that's crazy that the T-Rex

(01:55:12):
had enough bite force to justcrush bone.
Like, just...
Right, right.
Like, that's...
That's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 (01:55:20):
That's impressive.
So I got a question.

SPEAKER_04 (01:55:22):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 (01:55:22):
Do you think dinosaurs look the way they say
they did, or do you think we'recompletely way off?

SPEAKER_04 (01:55:28):
So when you say the way they say they did, do you
mean, like, Jurassic Park style,or do you mean, like, how
they're saying, like,legitimately they look?

SPEAKER_03 (01:55:38):
Because they've changed over the past few years.
They're saying a lot of thesedinosaurs may have had feathers.

SPEAKER_04 (01:55:46):
Not necessarily feathers, but quills, which are
similar.
But yeah, the T-Rex, theybelieve, actually had quills up
on the top of its head and kindof down its back.

SPEAKER_03 (01:56:00):
Because all those are just little, I'm going to
call them spikes, but that'swhat a quill is, right?
Kind of, sort of, yeah.
Like a soft...

SPEAKER_04 (01:56:09):
Yeah.
Because in all reality, and itwas funny because I told our
nephew that birds are dinosaurs,and he freaked out.
And he was like, I'm scared.
I was like, really?
He's like, they're dinosaurs.
Because you equate dinosaurs toa giant T-Rex.
Yes, yes, yes.

(01:56:30):
It's not that kind of dinosaur,bro.
They're avian dinosaurs.
Like, literally, birds are...
dinosaurs.
They live among us, which iskind of funny because telling
people that, they look at melike I'm some kind of weird pug.
But yeah, so they do believethat dinosaurs did have quills
on them because they stronglybelieve that a lot of dinosaurs,

(01:56:52):
a lot of dinosaurs, were veryclosely related to birds.
They had the same build as birdsdid as far as their arms and
stuff were formed and all thatkind of stuff.

UNKNOWN (01:57:05):
So

SPEAKER_04 (01:57:07):
Do I believe that's how they look?
Probably not 100%, but probablypretty close.
I'd venture to say upwards of80% and above.
Especially with today'stechnology, they're literally
capable of, and I don't know ifyou know this, but they're
literally capable of recreatingthe sound of an actual T-Rex.

SPEAKER_03 (01:57:32):
Yeah, I've heard this.
Have you heard it?

SPEAKER_04 (01:57:35):
I've not heard it.
No, I've not heard it, but I'veheard that they can do that.
Look it up, because honestly,the actual sound of a T-Rex is
more terrifying than what we gotin Jurassic Park.
Oh, my God.
Oh, yeah.
You have to listen to the wholething, because when you do,
you're like, bro, if I heardthat in the middle of the night,
I would absolutely shit myself.

(01:57:57):
All right.
He's got it up.
You can hold up to themicrophone.

SPEAKER_00 (01:58:06):
But with new fossil discoveries related to their
voice box, scientists haverecreated what the T-Rex
actually sounded like.

SPEAKER_04 (01:58:17):
Ooh.
Let it play.
Hold it closer to themicrophone.

SPEAKER_00 (01:58:39):
Why do we

SPEAKER_04 (01:58:42):
hear him so loud?
There we go.
That's at max, isn't it?
Yeah, so tell me if you heardthat in the middle of the night.

(01:59:07):
Like, while you're sleeping.
Oh, yeah, dude.
Put yourself, like, in that...
Granted, we were not around atthat time, but put yourself in
that situation.
As a caveman?
Yeah, as a caveman.
With your loincloth and spear?
And you just hear that bitch inthe middle of the night.
I'm shitting my loincloth.

(01:59:28):
I'm throwing my spear in...
Any direction.
And I'm hoping and praying thatit's hitting whatever the fuck
is making that noise.
Because absolutely fucking not.
You throw the spear, I come inpeace.
I have no weapon.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Like, bitch, you'll hear that.

SPEAKER_03 (01:59:47):
That is pretty fucking terrifying.
That's terrifying.

SPEAKER_04 (01:59:50):
And I'm telling you, if they use that in Jurassic
Park, oh my god.
Because if you hear that beforeyou see what that's attached to,
like what makes that sound.
Right.

SPEAKER_03 (02:00:01):
Nope.
But I mean, to be fair though,even the T-Rex on Jurassic Park
sounds fucking...

SPEAKER_04 (02:00:05):
I'm not taking anything away from that T-Rex
because I'll tell you what, thatloud roar, yeah, I'd shit myself
on that too.
Right.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that right there just makesme feel like it's a predator
that will stalk me for the restof my

SPEAKER_03 (02:00:20):
life.
Do you know what's crazy,though?
Like, now we're going on a wholenew topic.

SPEAKER_04 (02:00:23):
Hell

SPEAKER_03 (02:00:24):
yeah.
Have you heard, like, what theBlack Panthers sound like?
Yeah.
Or Jaguars?
Yes.
Like, bro.
Yeah.
Like, I'm good.

SPEAKER_04 (02:00:34):
Yeah.
I'm good.
They are terrifying cats.
They truly are.
That's why I'm like Pumas.
That's basically what they are.
Just leave them alone.

SPEAKER_03 (02:00:50):
Leave them alone.
I always talk about wanting togo on a safari.
I would love.
To this day, if I had the fundsand the ability to do it, I
would do it without hesitation.

SPEAKER_04 (02:01:02):
Just to see that leopard climb into the car with
me.
I want to be able

SPEAKER_03 (02:01:09):
to pickle lions nuts, okay?

SPEAKER_04 (02:01:14):
Hey, yo, Mufasa.
Hey, yo, Mufasa.
Where's Scar at?
Huh?
Where's Scar at?
You'll get eaten

SPEAKER_03 (02:01:22):
so fast.
Without a doubt.
So fucking

SPEAKER_04 (02:01:26):
fast.
Oh, shit.
So there you go.
T-Rex poop.
largest poop that they foundfrom dinosaurs.
Do with that information.

SPEAKER_03 (02:01:36):
As you will, right.

SPEAKER_04 (02:01:39):
But anyway, I know we are over, which

SPEAKER_03 (02:01:42):
is wild to me.

SPEAKER_04 (02:01:44):
Absolutely wild to me.
Again, I'm impressed and kind ofproud that I know that two of us
can carry this whole thing allthe way home.
It's fucking amazing.
So, with that being said, pleasedo not forget Magic Mind.
If you would like to try it out,please go to www.magicmind.com

(02:02:06):
and use our code FMJPOD20 atcheckout.
That is FMJPOD20 and use that atcheckout to get 48% off your
first subscription or 20% offone-time purchases.
But we'll wrap this up.

(02:02:28):
Put a pretty little bow on it.
Join us next time in two weekswhere we talk about strange
stories you won't believe aretrue.
Hopefully.
I can't wait.
Yo, I'm stoked.
I'm ready to have thisconversation.

(02:02:50):
So, you know.
Same.

SPEAKER_01 (02:02:54):
Until then.

SPEAKER_04 (02:02:54):
Until then.
Is everybody here?
Everybody, hello?
Yes.

SPEAKER_03 (02:03:00):
Yeah.
I'm here.

SPEAKER_04 (02:03:03):
I heard Grizz.
Yeah, that deep-ass voice.
So until then, say ta-ta to yourfans, everybody.

SPEAKER_03 (02:03:14):
No one talk at once.
Peace out, motherfuckers.
Oh, you didn't say bitches?
Hey, let's back it up.
Let's cut that part out.
Peace out, bitches.
I thought I was playing somebodyelse.

SPEAKER_01 (02:03:25):
You call them motherfuckers?

SPEAKER_04 (02:03:29):
Damn! We must have pissed Yeti off.
Anyway, ta-ta! Peace out,bitches.
Say that again.
A

SPEAKER_03 (02:03:41):
vain cock.
A vain cock?
V-A-I-N.
A vain cock.

SPEAKER_04 (02:03:48):
Thanks for listening.
Please remember to follow us onFacebook at FMJ Podcast Bros or
on X at Bros FMJ.
Don't forget to find the FMJPodcast on YouTube and if you
want more of us, pleasesubscribe to Extra Lives.
Today's broadcast brought to youby Toppy's Fish Sticks.
Attention all lovers of bigdelicious fish sticks.
Have we got a hot delicioustreat for you.
A fish stick sandwich.

(02:04:09):
We took our already delicioussticks and stuck them between
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We call it the Sloppy Toppy.
We know you'll be dying to getour sticks in your mouth again
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