February 14, 2024 • 64 mins
Discover how to transform the chaos of daily life into a harmonious symphony, especially for families with children with special needs. Our heartfelt stories reveal the trials and triumphs of integrating effective behavioral change programs, ensuring every family outing becomes a memory to cherish. We dive into the art of balancing professional duties with the joys and challenges of personal life, all while carving out space for self-care and ambition. Learn the secrets to creating a productive home environment and the power of prioritizing to make every moment count.
Unlock the mystery of personal productivity with our candid discussion on different organizational styles that cater to individual preferences. From contrasting approaches to conquering to-do lists to the fine art of delegation, we're sharing how to find fulfillment without getting overwhelmed. Whether you're a fan of agenda books or a proponent of writing down tasks, this episode is packed with strategies that will help you manage life's daily demands. Plus, join us as we navigate the delicate dance of asserting professional identity and earning respect in various workplace settings, sharing stories that range from surprising to affirming.
Wrapping up, we delve into the world of event planning, the nuances of balancing time and money, and the importance of supporting and connecting with the community. Whether it's planning a child's birthday party or juggling career and family aspirations, we examine the multifaceted journey towards personal fulfillment. This episode isn't just about getting things done; it's about creating a life that resonates with who you are and what you value, with a little help from those who've walked the path before you. Come be a part of our supportive community and find inspiration in our collective experiences.ration.
⏰ Chapter Markers ⏰
0:00 - Effective Time Management and Prioritization
8:11 - Different Approaches to Productivity and Organization
23:31 - Challenges and Attitudes in Professional Settings
31:17 - Professional Dress and Perceived Image
43:43 - Event Planning and Decorating Challenges
51:18 - Balancing Time and Money in Events
55:14 - Balancing Life, Career, and Family
1:03:30 - Community Support and Call for Contributions
A Podcast for the less than perfect mom!"
➣ For Guest Appearances, Sponsorship & Bookings: shxtmom@gmail.com
➣ Visit our official website: https://www.ForShxttyMoms.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This episode of FSM is brought to you by Fidelity
Behavioral Alliance, your numberone source for behavior change.
Fidelity Behavioral Alliancecreates behavior change programs
for schools, parents andorganizations looking to reduce
problem behaviors and improveperformance outcomes.
(00:20):
Find out more atwwwfidelitybehavioralalliancecom
.
If you would like to sponsor anepisode of FSM, email us at
shitmomatgmailcom.
That's S-H-X-T-M-O-M atgmailcom.
(00:43):
It's time to put the kids tobed, so y'all get ready for
another episode of For ShittyMoms.
Hey everyone, this is part twoof a two-part series, so if you
haven't listened to part one, goahead and stream that on your
favorite platform.
(01:03):
So that part of the job is alot, but the end result, when
you have children communicatingwith families, you have families
who are now able to go out andhave dinner A lot of my families
.
They can't even go to arestaurant and have dinner.
(01:24):
That's just something that theydon't do Something as simple as
going grocery shopping.
They don't go grocery shoppingwith their children.
It's too much of a challenge,it's too much of a hassle.
So when you can finally startputting things in place and you
have a parent like, oh my God,we went to the store and it was
so nice, those are the momentsthat you know to see the parents
(01:49):
now.
Yeah, it's like that pivotalmoment where now you've opened
up this family to a whole newset of possibilities, because
their kid now understands how totransition from home to a car,
to a store and back to the carRight, a sense of norm.
(02:10):
Yeah, so that's the rewardingpart.
But it's now I'm getting to thepoint where I'm like, all right
, I'm going to have to pick andchoose.
Like, is this where the timethat I'm spending on the
weekends to prepare for a weekof work and kind of missing out
and trying to squeeze my kid inon the back burner, like what's
(02:34):
the trade off going to be?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
It's not, I'm going to tell you right now is not
worth it.
The only way you're going to dobetter at what you're doing is
See, the thing is, is you workfrom home?
So create in a space that feelslike work.
You have to close the door andyou have to do an extra hour
(02:55):
whatever you can.
So that extra hour, whateveryou want it to be if it's
catching up on emails, if it'sstaffing the case, or whatever
the case you want to call it, ifit's making phone calls that
hour should be so jam packed sothat when you feel, when you
come out of it, you feel likeyou, you made a step forward.
(03:18):
If you don't feel like that,after that extra because
everyone does it Everyone has anextra hour where they actually
still work, where they don'tfeel like they work, but they
still work.
Even if it's thinking the drivehome, the commute home from your
job, you're still thinking dang, did I make that email that I
correct that thing, that I dothis, you're still working.
But that's why I said, if youcreate that hour of space where
(03:39):
you're okay with giving an houreither twice, twice a week or
three times a week, you're goingto be fine Because that's,
that's something, it's a passion.
Anyway, it's not just a career,it's a passion.
It's like you want that tohappen, so you don't mind giving
when it's a passion.
So if you give an extra hourand you say I'm jam packing that
with this, that means don'ttouch this during the day.
(04:03):
Do what you need to do duringthe day, but leave that for that
.
And the only reason why I saythat is because then, when you
have that sense of fulfillment,when you put it down, your phone
can turn off a nothingimportant past six o'clock for
your job yeah, nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
And since the clock is pushing it.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I wish you know, especially if you started at
seven.
Yeah, Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
That reminds me I was just watching a TED talk and
the lady specializes in liketime management and I said I was
going to try it, I'm going toread up on it a little bit more.
But she did a case study andhad people keeping time journals
and she was like, when youthink about it, you have 24
hours a day, seven days a week,you have 168 hours a week.
(04:52):
That 168 hours, you're onlyworking 40 hours a week.
And she was like some peopleokay, let's push it to 50.
Right, because we might be,doing a little bit more.
And she was like if you have asecond job, like a side hustle
or something like that, okay,maybe you're working 60.
(05:12):
And she's like the people whoare claiming to work 70 and 75
hours a week when they startdoing those time journals,
they're off by like 20 hours.
So no, you're not working 70 to75 hours a week, so from there
she's like okay, if you geteight hours of sleep, less, less
(05:33):
go with people, people don't.
They usually don't.
She was saying by the time youfactor in the time that you
actually spend working, the timethat you actually spend
sleeping, you still have anentire 72 hours left in your
week to do whatever you want todo.
But the determining factor whenyou run into people who are
(05:56):
saying, oh, I don't have timefor that, I don't have time for
this, it's the priority.
So she said when she startedinterviewing different people I
guess one person who you knowvery successful, that's what she
said the more successful people.
Basically, they pick and choosehow they want to spend their
(06:18):
time with every single thingthey do.
So she said one person who wasprobably the most productive and
the most successful person.
That was a part of this study.
She had to reschedule theinterview like countless times
and when she finally got theinterview with a person, the
person just told her hey, Ispend my time how I want to
(06:42):
spend my time.
If it's a priority for me, thenI'm going to do it.
But when I say I don't havetime for that, it's not that I
don't have time for it, I don'twant to do it, that's not a
priority for me, so I'm notgoing to do it and I'm like wow.
But when you look at her timejournal, her time is was used
(07:05):
the most efficiently out ofeveryone else and she had the
most fulfillment because sheprioritized every single task
that she did throughout the day.
So I just watched I didn'tfinish the TED talk, but I was
like whoa, that's eye opening.
Like maybe I'll try that first,just to see, okay, what am I
(07:29):
really doing throughout the day,because I think I spend a lot
of time like oh my God, I got somuch to do.
That's like girl, you didn'teven get started.
Go do it, stop thinking aboutit Stop agonizing over
it Girl, go do it, and I'll evensee my husband, like we are the
total opposite.
So I feel like, for me, I haveto gear up to do what I need to
(07:52):
do, right?
So I got to get my son situated.
I I try to get some kind ofexercise, yoga, something,
meditation, anything, and then Itry to make sure I have
breakfast.
Okay, now I'm ready to sit downand focus on what I have to do.
My husband is the opposite,right?
(08:15):
So he, when it's time for himto get started and tackle his to
do list, like he goes fullforce and he does not stop until
it's done.
Once it's done, then he feelslike he can relax.
And and I'm the opposite I gotto work my way up to it and he's
working his way down from itand I'm like, wow, I wonder, is
(08:40):
that more productive?
Is it more?
Is that a more efficient way towork?
And then, when he's done, he'sdone and he can do whatever he
wants to do with his qualitytime or not, like I would just
like to see you know, and beingthat, I it's not.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
It's not more productive, it's just what works
for him.
Yeah, and that's the thing youhave to find what works for you.
Like me, I was like, um, whatpeople was using a agenda book
at work and I was like, oh, Ican't stand these damage in the
book.
Right, I will write everythingdown and never look back at it.
(09:16):
Oh, I was going to do thattoday.
Okay, I totally forgot that.
Well, I'm not going to lie toyou.
I made a conscious effort toactually use it over the summer.
So, and I haven't.
What the thing is is I haven'tcompleted it, but I did say I'm
going to go back to that.
So, and the reason why I'msaying is because now I'm
(09:38):
finding a little bit morebalance within me.
So I have my app, or my agendabook.
My husband says you do it liketrying to set a senior reminder.
I haven't got that far yet.
The reminders will make me gocrazy.
So I said let me just mentallygo look at it.
Let me make a habit of going tomentally look at my book.
So I got the book, had the monthput down, people's birthdays
(10:02):
put down, you know bills and youknow what I was planning on
doing whatever.
And then the next page wasdetail, a little detail page of
the day.
So you had a deep drill.
Your day and put down what youneeded to do is like your to-do
list, and I actually startedwriting down five things to do
every single day that I need todo for the next day.
(10:23):
So I would take time out andsay, okay, this is what I didn't
finish, this is what mypriority is.
I wrote it down, all of themdown, and then beside it was
like these little boxes ofsoccer put check marks.
I did it.
Now, the reason I like that wasbecause mentally, I was
consciously thinking did I?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
oh, I didn't do none of that to go.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I got to do that tomorrow and then it was.
It brought me a sense offulfillment just to know what I
was doing the next day.
Anything can come in between,but those was my priorities for
that day Because it was all myto-do list and I wanted it done.
So I think, yeah, so I thinkthat you would have to do that
(11:09):
too.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I'm a to-do list person, even if I don't
look back at my to-do list.
But a friend of mine who doeslike professional planning she
told me she always refers backto her to-do list because it
gives her a sense ofaccomplishment and even if she
(11:33):
didn't finish her stuff on thatparticular day, even if it's a
week later, she's gonna go backto that page where she wrote
that to-do list and she's stillgonna check off that box because
that gives her a sense ofaccomplishment.
So I, when she brought that tomy attention.
I'm like oh okay, let me try it.
(11:54):
It I felt like it gave me someaccountability.
It made me feel like I wasbeing more productive, because
normally I just kind of knockout stuff and for me to remember
anything I have to transcribe,Like I have to, even if I don't
read it again.
As long as I write it down,it's in my memory, I don't have
(12:15):
to look at it again, and that'show I learn as well.
So when I'm learning something,when I'm taking classes, when
I'm studying for boards, I amthat person.
I have to write out everything.
I don't have to read it.
I never read my notes because Ialready wrote it.
Once it's written, it's in myhead, is stuck, but it was nice,
that's my kids.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
My kids are like that .
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, I don't.
I don't know what that is, Idon't know what it's called, but
I definitely learned throughtranscribing.
But that sense ofaccomplishment and I feel like
the anxiety kind of goes downwhen I can look back at what I
wrote down and it's like, oh myGod, I did all of these things.
And in some days I'm like, Okay, don't make a to do list with
(13:00):
more than 10 things on it, andsometimes I will even text
myself all of my to do list andI will knock those things out.
But I'll say, this past week Ijust got to the point where I
was like I did all of thesethings, but you're doing too
much.
(13:20):
Like this time, this particulartime, it wasn't a sense of
accomplishment, it was more like, Okay, I need to find a way to
kind of categorize these thingsthat I'm doing.
Some of this needs to go to anassistant, a virtual assistant
(13:43):
or it.
Somehow it needs to get off ofmy to do list.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Your point.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah, it's got to between juggling like lawn.
You don't even want to knowwhat the laundry looks like
right now because I'm likethat's not a priority, so it's
like a mountain of laundry.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
See, I and I watch a load of laundry in the morning
every day.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Oh, I wash the clothes, that's no problem.
But folding, putting away,hanging up, it's a wrap.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
That's another thing too.
I don't do all of that, likeliterally, I, I wash it, it goes
in a dryer and I, I've thisshot.
Well, my kids do their own.
So that takes a lot.
But what I'm worried about ismainly me, my husband and the
towels.
Okay, so, because I wash mytowels that we dry off with and
(14:34):
you know don't wash clothesthose going one, but cleaning
towels go to somethingseparately, right, and then I
have my, my dog stuff, my pets.
So me personally, likeliterally, I only have the one
thing at a time.
So if it's me and my husband'sclothes, my, my, I wash my
clothes separate from myhusband's too.
So when I finish I'm like, hey,this, all your stuff, yeah,
(14:59):
here's the basket, yeah, goodluck and it.
But we have a basket for theclean clothes.
And if it never reaches thecloset and he want to keep
digging for gold, that is hisentire purpose and plan.
And I'm okay with me personally.
I my underwear and bras and allof that.
I take all of that out becauseI fold up my underwear and I put
(15:21):
it in my thing and then afterthat, any workout clothes go in
my drawers too, and then theclothes that have to be hung up.
Unfortunately, I'm particular,so all my clothes go on black
kangaroos.
So I'm like, hey, stop using myblack kangaroos, I need my
black kangaroos, so you know.
So I take all the blackkangaroos, he get all the white
hangers, and that's when I hangup my clothes.
(15:42):
And then, once I'm done with mystuff and towels, the moment
they come out the dryer I foldthem because, because, because
it's right there next to thecloset, and it's like Okay, you
know what?
Oh, put it up.
Oh, put it up, and plus it'd bewarm to me.
So I kind of like be like alittle bit involved in that Okay
(16:02):
.
So yeah, but if I do towels thatday, towels have to go up
because we have dogs and I don'twant them on my towels because
when something smells good tothem, they like to go and smell
it too, like they got issues.
So I'm like no, I won't needyour nose on my towel.
So I put them up and they nevermake it to the sofa's nothing.
(16:24):
But if you don't want to handleit, put it in the basket and
cover it up and when you get toit, hopefully there ain't
nothing you want.
But I have enough clothes tosatisfy me.
If I didn't want to put up myclothes and I don't want to look
in that basket, I have enoughclothes that I can wear for at
least three weeks at a time Ihave.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I have too many clothes, that's the issue.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Too many, I've been every three months I've been
getting none sense what do youmean?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Oh, too many clothes.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Nonsense, nonsense, women.
I've been getting women.
There is no such thing.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, I'm like why is it so many?
But you do you need yourclothes for the gym, you need
your clothes for work.
For me I wear, like I have mywork uniforms.
But when I'm first introducingmyself, now that I'm going back
into the schools and kind ofconsulting with different
schools, those are like a that'sa different wardrobe from when
(17:22):
I'm working one on one with thekid or if I'm training my
assistant, because I just neverknow, like when I'm training my
assistant or when I'm workingwith the kid, I'm in joggers, a
t-shirt and I'll have on my longsleeves.
Because I don't know, am Ichasing a kid today?
Am I bending out?
Like what am I doing?
I don't know what I'm gettinginto.
(17:43):
So I have to be ready foranything.
But when I'm first introducingmyself to people, I've stopped
wearing like my joggers and myshirt because I've noticed and I
don't know really what this isall about, but I've noticed that
I'm treated differently.
So I have to dress a certain wayto get a certain level of
(18:11):
respect.
I feel like that level ofrespect should already be there,
but through my work experiencethat is not the case, so it's
unfortunate.
Like I would love to wearscrubs to work, right, but the
way that I'm treated when Idress that way and I'm still
(18:33):
professional when I'm a littlemore casual and in my clothes
that I would work with childrenin, but the level of respect or
the level of disrespect thatcomes from the adults and the
environment to me has becomeintolerable.
So now it's like a differentwardrobe and a totally different
(18:55):
set of clothes.
Just to introduce myself to thestaff.
You're a school administrator,so that that front desk person
that you meet, those principalsecretaries, those secretaries
in the front office, I feel likethey can make or break the
whole situation right, and theway that you are introduced to
(19:16):
that school staff, the receptionthat you get from that school
staff, really depends on thatfirst encounter with that person
that you meet at the door.
So this time around I took adifferent approach and had to go
shopping all over again.
So now I have two differentsets of clothes that I'm wearing
just to talk to adults and thena different set of clothes that
(19:40):
I'm wearing when I need to workwith a kid.
Right, it should not be thatdifficult, but I've noticed the
level of respect since I'vestarted changing my dress code
is unparalleled Before.
I would be treated likesomebody's assistant yeah, like,
and it's crazy, because youwould think you have a kid with
(20:04):
special needs.
The child is supposed to be thepriority.
You have a teacher who'sstressed out to the max.
You would think they would behappy to see you coming in to
offer them some kind of help andassistance.
And okay, let's get things ontrack.
What do you need help with?
And pretty much if I walkthrough the door and joggers,
(20:25):
unfortunately they treat me likethe help.
Just get him out of herePerception.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
What is your job?
Again?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Perception is everything that is insane to me.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Perception is everything, and people don't
respect a boss that can't.
They respect a boss that can doboth, but they don't respect a
boss that only can work one way.
You know what I mean.
Like you can only come dressedlike that.
What if I want you to meetsomeone from you know higher up
on my staff?
(20:56):
You know I'm introducing youlike this.
You know my thing is is that Ibelieve that people are, if you
do what you do, they.
This is how they might say well, she coming here in scrubs, but
she the boss.
Or it can be like this but herto be the boss, she coming
scrubs.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Oh wow, it's a perception.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, it's a perception.
Sometimes, what people used todo to show that they were of a
higher level was they had sometype of emblem on them, some
type of accountability attachedto them.
So say, you came in scrubs butyou had a name tag.
Now you're showing that I'mthis important to where I want
(21:42):
you to know who I am and I haveour badges, but I did say I was
going to put which to me.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Initially I was a little uncomfortable putting my
credentials like on my jacketright, because, like I told you,
I go in my joggers, I go in mymy jacket and I just you better
write that paragraph.
Yeah, I mean I'm gonna have tobecause the difference is insane
(22:12):
.
But to me, when, with the jobthat I do with our special needs
little ones and for the mostpart, like I, worked in early
intervention you know I need toget on their level.
I'm not here for you, I'm hereto help this child communicate
and, like immerse themselves inthe environment.
(22:32):
So, but can I be honest withyou?
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
We don't know.
I know what all yourcredentials look like yeah, we
don't know what a supervisorlook like yeah, so you could put
all that on your shirt.
If it doesn't Won't meananything to the, to the outside
world, until you let the.
I could tell you two thingsthat tells us that something
(22:57):
different is about you.
If you say I'm Miss Monteser,okay, she, just miss Monteser.
I am doctor Monteser, oh, yeah,okay, yeah, you're.
That's one way that we can knowthat there's something else
different about you.
The other thing is to literallyjust tell us you have to say I
(23:23):
am the supervisor, this is mycompany, I you know what I mean,
like you have to literally tellpeople physically this is who I
am.
Yeah, and I had to getcomfortable with that.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I had to get comfortable with it.
I I think I just did it thefirst time when I introduced
myself to this set of schoolsthat I'm working with under my
own company.
So yeah, I had to kind of growin that because I didn't want
people to think, oh, she's justthrowing this title around.
But from my experience therewere one too many instances of
(24:01):
disrespect that just didn't sittoo well with me and it was kind
of like all right, the glovesare off.
There's no more being coy or ortrying to be polite about it.
No, I'm Dr Montesier, don'taddress me as anything else Like
that.
That is no longer an option.
And once I took that approach,even two weeks ago, I just
(24:27):
started a contract with adifferent school and usually
when I go into this, the setting, to kind of analyze the
behaviors and what's going on,I'm really supposed to make
myself invisible so I can kindof see what the natural
environment looks like, so I cansee where I'm starting, what's
really going on behind thescenes and the teacher in
(24:50):
particular was like, the nexttime you come, would you mind
notify me and letting me know,like she made it clear, to kind
of mark her territory, notknowing that I had been in touch
with the school?
I had been in touch with theschool.
I've been calling them to letthem know.
Hey, I'm coming, this is what Ido, blah, blah, blah.
(25:10):
My assistant is there, but Ineed to see what my assistant is
doing in this environment.
You know, I'm just taking overfor someone else and I just kind
of sat back, I made myobservations.
She told me next time you come,you need to email me, you need
to do it, do it and I will letyou know when is a good time.
(25:31):
This is what she told me on dayone and I just, you know we're
always taught to be humble, you,you?
are in someone else's territory,you're in that teacher's
classroom.
She's the boss, you support her, you follow her lead, you help
her.
Help this child, right, that'smy role.
So I just kind of said Iunderstand, I completely
(25:54):
understand.
I will do that.
Let me get your contactinformation, because at the time
I've been in contact with theschool.
That's how it's supposed to go.
And by the time I sent my emailthat night because when I walked
in there it was yet we don'teven know why you guys are here.
What are you doing?
Because you know we provide theservices through insurance and
(26:15):
through families and throughparents and it's kind of set up
and there is a gap in thecommunication.
I will give them that.
But if you know someone isthere to help.
I'm just not understanding theattitude and the territorial I
(26:36):
don't know nature or actionsfrom these adults, because when
I was a teacher and when Istruggled, I would have loved
someone to like step into myroom and guide me and coach me
and show me how can I do better,how can I manage this.
So after I sent the email, Idid introduce myself hey, I'm Dr
(27:01):
So-and-so, this is my role.
I understand you had questionsabout my purpose in this
environment.
This is what we do.
This is what you can expect,this is what I'm looking for.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, and I copied the teacher,
I copied the principal, I copied.
You know everyone that I wouldnormally that I encountered that
(27:22):
same day I spoke to all ofthese people in person and it
was like why are you here?
We don't understand.
Who are you?
What's your purpose?
That's pretty much what theyone email said.
Quite frankly, we don't knowwhy you're here.
That was another email from aseparate group of people, but
once they got the email, when Ifollowed up that next week, so
(27:46):
many apologies.
Oh, we weren't aware.
Oh, doctor, we're so sorry.
Oh, we're so thankful thatyou're here.
And I'm like, honestly, Ishouldn't take all of that.
It is just, even if I was a,even if I was a substitute
teacher, why wouldn't you treatthat person with a level of
(28:07):
respect, right?
So now, unfortunately, I don'tgive people the benefit of the
doubt when I once I put on thatthat working professional hat.
I'm Dr, so-and-so.
This is my role, this is what Iwill be doing, and even with my
assistance, I don't alwaysbring them in.
Sometimes they come with thechild already.
(28:29):
I kind of have to set the tone.
No, this is my expectation foryou.
I will let you know what needsto be done.
You don't let me know whatneeds to be done, and I think
I've had to grow into myassertiveness and that role.
But it's so ironic to me becauseI feel like you really have
this challenge in the schoolsetting and I don't really see
(28:53):
that in other settings, in otherindustries.
But the school settings it'skind of like, from the time you
cross that threshold it is abattle and really I'm fighting
to help.
You have a lot of resistance inour field and we're really here
(29:13):
to help.
So it's just interesting tolike encounter that dynamic and
then it's interesting to alsosee how something as simple as
closing an email will changesomebody's complete attitude.
And then they're veryapologetic and they're extra
polite.
But you should have been thatway when you first met me.
(29:34):
You should have-.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Well, we got that in banking.
They did a survey with thesurvey with customers and what
they noticed was, if they cameOkay, so they turned us into
salespeople.
So, at the teller line, if theywalked up to a teller, they
(30:05):
asked what a professional tellerwould look like.
They gave their account.
They said would you take ateller's word on the same level
as a personal banker that was inthe office, got their account
on that?
And then they said why wouldyou or would you not so one if
(30:27):
you tellers as not as important,you're supposed to take my
money, make the deposit, take itaway and put it in my account.
That's all I was supposed to dothe moment I started telling
you hey, you know, I see thatyou have a credit card and may
have a better interest rate.
Why don't you go talk to one ofour personal bankers?
No, that's fine, but if I hadon a jacket, if I put on a
(30:53):
jacket and said hey, I noticedyou have a credit card, you
might have a better interestrate available to you based on
your credit and based on the oldcredit card compared to the new
credit card their lowerinterest rate.
Huh, they thought about it andthey asked what made the
difference.
I said the same thing, but itwas because I had on a jacket.
But it was because I had on ajacket.
(31:14):
And then, yeah, a jacket.
And if you notice, if you gointo Bank of America, they all
went to jackets.
We couldn't wear a jacket.
We couldn't come to workwithout a black or blue blazer
on top of our clothes.
Yep, they made that change maybethree years before I left.
So we literally now if you hadon any other color blazer, it
(31:37):
just had to be a jacket.
It could not, because theydidn't take us serious as
professional bankers.
They also take away our title.
We were first called TellerTellers okay.
We then went to professionaltellers, oh, okay.
So they added professional.
(31:57):
They did actually give a raisebecause they changed our title
Okay, they added like a dollarraise.
So they did change us to oh,that's a professional teller, or
that is, oh, yeah, they wearingjackets.
So, and then if we were in thelobby, they didn't know us
between the bankers and a tellerbecause we had a jacket, okay.
So then they said oh, why wouldyou take the person in the
office more serious than theperson at the teller line?
(32:20):
It was one because of thejacket.
We didn't wear a jacket.
So that was one of the bank.
They weren't professionallydressed, they didn't dress like
a banker.
We weren't even considered abanker.
We were just an avenue of fundsand then or an avenue of
transaction.
But in the office it showed astep up.
(32:40):
They didn't want to talk abouttheir business at the teller
line, they wanted to have apersonal conversation with the
personal banker.
So then it became professionalteller, personal banker.
So now I feel like, ooh, now Igot somebody for myself, right,
okay, that makes sense.
It was that feeling of therefor me, yeah.
So when we had to change ourconversation, we always said let
(33:03):
our professional or let ourpersonal banker help you with
your personal needs.
When we talked about personalwith personal, they equated that
.
When they talked about tellerline to office, they equated
that I can tell you right nowpeople come into my front desk
and be like they're just thefront desk people, yeah.
But then the moment that theycall me and say hey, we have an
(33:24):
irate parent now they're lookingfor me to be someone of a
different sex because I'm in adifferent office, I'm not in
just the front desk.
So what I did was I said lookat here y'all, y'all are front
desk attendants.
I say but y'all need to assertjust a little bit of power.
I say you can say no, I wouldback you up.
(33:44):
If you say no, you can giveinformation out.
Just let it be correct.
Yeah, that way they can say Ican help you.
I say I'll start telling them.
Stop saying, oh, my secretary,no, the information.
No, say I can help you.
And the moment that you startshowing accountability and that
you're more knowledgeable thanjust answering the phone and
signing up their child, peopleare going to take you to the
office and people are going totake you more seriously for
(34:07):
information.
So I believe that, in essence,professional wear does get you
places and it's all aboutperception, but it is what it is
.
People view peopleprofessionally when they dress
different and as much as Now, Ican tell you right now we had a
(34:27):
guy that came in that was brokeas a joke, but he dressed up
like he was rich and we used tolook at him like, hey, you got
42 cents.
He was like, hey, look at this,like, oh, my check didn't hit
yet, I'll be back.
He was so confident that BlackBlaser did it for him.
Ok, baby, he was on cloud, yousee me, and we were like we were
(34:49):
so broke right now, but that'swhat he did and you know what.
We respected him simply becausehe wasn't his bank account.
He was who he was.
You know what I'm saying and youhave to just know that too,
about yourself, like when I comein there sometimes on Fridays
and I wear tennis shoes.
They were like, oh, it makes meprofessionally dressed.
They'll come and get me andI'll be in my tennis shoes, some
(35:12):
jeans and a the shirt for theschool.
And now they look at me likeyou just got her.
Yeah, what you mean?
What's up?
Don't I be like in my mind.
I like don't let this get youup, get you, but what?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
happened?
What, what?
Speaker 2 (35:29):
what happened and then, when they realize I can
help them right no matter howI'm dressed.
Yeah, they do treat me a littlebit different, don't?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
change the knowledge.
But yeah, people don't, it'sjust fine.
Yeah, they don't respond.
So life has gotten a littleeasier with that and I think
I've grown a little morecomfortable In that, but
typically, in general, I'm amore casual person.
I like things to be morefunctional, so that's pretty
(35:58):
much how I dress when I dressfor work.
I have on long sleeves becauseI don't want a kid Bottley
fluids getting on me ifsomething happens.
Um, I I don't want to getscratched up or bitten if I'm
working with a kid and things gosouth very quickly.
So I wear sneakers and joggers.
(36:19):
I wear the cargo pants becauseI need pockets.
I got to have toys andreinforcers and all that stuff
and it's safer on me.
Absolutely.
And I put on those sneakersbecause I might have the sprint
and run and, you know, scoopsomebody up real quick.
But you know, unfortunatelyEveryone doesn't get that.
(36:39):
So usually on the days where Ido dress up, I try to make that
just my initial meet and greetand If something goes south
because I'm not dressedaccordingly, unfortunately I
can't help you like I'm notdressed for it, unless I kick
off my shoes and you know, takeoff, I'm not dressed for that.
(37:02):
Um, so it's just interesting tosee the shift and the dynamic.
The information hasn't changedAt all, like I know what I know,
regardless of how I'm dressed,but the level of respect that
has been established just for mewearing slack and it's not even
(37:25):
I am not the most fashionforward person.
I'm trying to put some stufftogether.
My goal is just To look decent,but it's amazing how Some
slacks and some ballet flats anda nice cardigan Makes all the
difference in the world.
So I'm kind of learning thatand putting on my business hat
(37:45):
as I go.
Um it just takes a lot.
I'm learning this year, thisyear.
I've learned a lot in Then whatit means to like call yourself
a boss, right?
I feel like Since covet,everyone became like
entrepreneurs and startedrunning businesses and everyone
loves to call themselves likethe ceo.
(38:07):
But I feel like my business issmall and I'm still wearing so
many hats.
It's just made me have so muchmore Respect for those small
business owners who have been inthe game for so long, like
Before owning your own businesswas trendy and a fad, and before
(38:31):
the pandemic, where people hadto just Hustle and put stuff
together because everything shutdown and we didn't know what
was going to happen, where thenext dollar was coming from.
Those people who have beenrunning these traditional
businesses before social media,marketing and and things like
that.
Now I'm looking at them througha whole new lens.
(38:53):
Like damn, you were doing allof that behind the scenes, with
less technology, less marketingtools, and they have been
consistent.
That is insane to me To see howmany different hats they have
to wear.
In addition to most of themProvide the service as well.
(39:15):
So not only are they the boss,the accountant, the receptionist
, like Depending on what thebusiness is.
They're the employee as well.
They're the janitor, thecustodian, like you name it.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
They do it so that the thing is is is the thing is
is making.
When you start the business,you don't start it full strong.
What you do is you layer thegrowth.
So when you start the business,you start on the one level and
(39:52):
then you add a service.
Once you master those twoservices, okay, when you add the
service, you take time.
So when I first started, I wasjust doing Event planning.
Okay, I was just planning theevent, planning the event, and
then I said, oh, but I need tocoordinate it too.
So I was doing both and then Irealized that they, they were
(40:12):
one and the same with each other.
Once I planned it, it was likeexecution was the plant, the
coordinating part.
So it was like, oh, yes, I getto see what I planned in full
motion.
And then I added decorating,slowly, so my decorations and I
didn't had, I had no inventory,so I added decorations.
And then after that I said,okay, I'm adding decorations.
(40:34):
So now that's another layer ofthought process.
I'm thinking about how theevent looks and how the flow of
the room is going to look, andthen my coordinating comes in
that day.
So it's like whoa, whoa, okay,oh, whoa, whoa, okay, oh, whoa.
It was like, okay, they gotogether.
And then I knew that eventuallyI wanted to bring in extra
revenue when I didn't have anevent.
(40:55):
So I said I want to start myrental side of the company.
So even when I had an event Iwas renting out my items.
But I said I'm not going tostart that until I have Um,
until I'm ready to do that,because that took an extra Part
of planning to do, because now Ihave to make sure that the
event that I had Wasn't usingthe items that someone wanted to
(41:16):
rent on the same day.
So it took me, it took me likescheduling, and now I'm like, oh
, but I didn't add rentals untilmy second or third year of
being in business.
Oh, okay and, and it had to beup to Five tables at first and
then by my fifth year I was upto 10 tables.
So if you wanted to getsomething from me, I knew I
(41:40):
could accommodate up to 100guests.
An inventory, okay.
So what people don't realize isthat, yeah, you can hit the
gate straight out.
You can do that, but Were youready for it?
Yeah, you handle it and I knewfor sure I couldn't handle all
of that, even though that was mygoal.
(42:00):
So I had business goals.
So the one, the way I found outthat the secret of it to it all
was to gradually add serviceson.
And then it came to the pointwhere I was like that's all the
services I want to do.
Because then I started saying,okay, now I don't want this
inventory in the one.
I need to sell a package andthen get rid of it all together.
(42:21):
So then I became now a personthat invested and now I need to
have a return on my investment.
And that was now accounting.
Oh, my gosh, I need to go homeand think about this.
I need to go home and write allthis down.
Oh, did I just sell a packagefor less than what I invested
for?
Normally you do, but At the endof then you have to stay with
the trend.
So now you're doing a wholebunch of research.
(42:42):
Then I put myself through schoolfor it.
So I was like, oh, now I haveto stop this amount of time
frame so I can have time to goto school to master my craft.
So, yeah, you, I should haveprobably went beforehand, but
then I realized that I wanted togo deeper with it, with
cultures and respect forcultures and respect for
etiquette on a table.
So then you, you start toelevate, but are you ready for
(43:04):
it?
So then, that's why I say toeverybody um, wait, think about
where you want your business atnow and where you wanted to go,
and how you want to do.
That's basically coming up witha business plan all all in one.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
So how did you get started with the event planning?
How did that come about?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
I just I've been with doing it march or make 10 years
.
But I literally dived in headfirst.
Hair got wet, shoes and clothesgot wet.
I walked out drowning.
I was like, oh baby, what was Ithinking?
And then the first Um, I wascalling one time to rent linen
(43:48):
and I said I need eight tablecosts round.
And she says what size?
What you mean, what size?
There, there's, there's a size.
Um, she says yes, there's this,there's that, there's this.
I said, um, the one that fit acircle table.
And she was like she said doyou want to call me?
(44:09):
I said I sure do.
Yes, I do.
And I hung up the phone and Isaid to myself I should have
just stuck to event planning andcoordinating, because now I'm
trying to decorate and don'teven know the size of a table.
And you know what I had to do.
I literally that's how myinventory got started.
I was like I need a rectangletablecloth.
She says what size?
Hmm, you did that again.
(44:29):
You asked that question againOkay, so I went and I bought a
rectangle table and I say thisis six feet.
Okay, this is six feet.
So I started buying all thesetablecloths and I was like it's
not going to the floor.
Okay, all right.
So what else I mean?
And so my, my diving man was atrue dive in.
(44:50):
And then when I was, it wasdeep, it was deep.
And I was like whoa, I say thisis a whole another beast.
And then that's when I said I'mnot gonna offer decorating yet,
let me put that to the side.
And then that's when I went back.
Yeah, I went back to what I knew, how I like I'm a person of
(45:12):
show, so I consider eventstheatrical.
Okay, yeah, so basicallythey're on stage and I feel like
I'm always that person, becauseI was in high school, I was in
ballet or in dance, and it wasall about stage left, stage
right, making sure that you keepthe focus on one end when
(45:35):
you're creating another space onthe other end.
So I used, you know, becausethen everyone's focusing on the
left, so when you're makingchanges over here on the right,
they're not even payingattention to that.
So I always remembered that andI like it to be a flawless
transition between things.
It's not always flawless, butit's the perfection that I aim
(45:56):
for and go to.
So when I started realizing okay, I got event planning and court
name together and I was like Ineed to take time to get my
decorating together, becausethen the beauty of it was where
I found myself creating.
I was in a space of adream-like world where I could
(46:17):
create, you know, anything thatI wanted to.
So I started off by makingpersonalized centerpieces.
So it all was personalized toyou.
So it was literally me handmaking the centerpieces and I
yeah.
But then I realized veryquickly that I wasn't charging
(46:37):
enough to do and put in thatmuch time.
So then I said, okay, I have totransition to sit down
centerpieces and go from there.
And then I started usingvendors.
And the industry was not kind tome in the beginning and it was
a lot of event planners, I'msorry.
Well, I found out that a lot ofthe decorators that were out
(47:00):
there were not planners, theywere not coordinators, they
literally were decorators only.
So when I would go to them andsay, hey, what you use for your
timeline, what you use for this,they had no idea what I was
talking about.
They had no idea.
And then they weren't.
Didn't they want, they didn'twant to share secrets, they
(47:21):
didn't want to share vendors.
So everyone who I literally amin business with were the people
that were kind enough to extendan olive branch and say I will
work with you, even though theyhadn't known me in the industry.
Some people come to me who werevery mean, very, very mean.
(47:43):
They did not want to help me.
And I look at them and I findmyself saying, should I help
them?
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
You were in the game way longer than me and wouldn't
help me, wouldn't even offerlittle advice.
Little advice.
There was only one eventplanner that helped me and to
this day I would never anythingshe asked for.
I give it to her because when Iwas starting she sat down and
(48:14):
told me about taxes.
She told me about making sure Ihave a tax exempt for this and
making sure I always carry withme, making sure I did.
And I mean she took two hoursto talk to me and I've always
said to myself I would neverleave her.
Whenever she wanted me, I wouldbe there for her.
But I literally can say thatfor her.
I literally can say that fromthe ground up.
(48:36):
I worked this whole business upfrom my own hands period.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Yeah, and that's why it's so hard to just let someone
come in and just tell me whatthey want me to do.
It's like, no, yeah, you learnthat too.
You learn no very quickly, okay, but I am never.
But I always help people whocome to me Like I have someone
that's in Georgia, she's doingphenomenal, and she always call
(49:04):
me and say, mentor, tell me whatyou want me to do.
And I'm like she called me amentor, okay, but she's so sweet
, but I've never not helped her.
I was like, hey, this is what Idid, this is what I did.
I didn't want to be like thoseother people.
Yeah, and she I've talked toher off the ledge like five
different times and she was likeI was going to throw this, all
the stuff, in the garbage.
(49:24):
I said, girl, you can't throwit in the garbage.
I say just keep going, keepgoing.
But yeah, I help people out toowith the business and I'm very
thankful, but they were notcalling to me in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
I mean, it's I never would have.
I follow you on social mediaand I feel like from the
beginning, like years ago I wasstill in undergrad and I heard
about you doing different eventsand things like that and just
hearing you break it down, Inever knew there was so many
different sides to it, just withyou explaining like the
(50:02):
coordinating the event planning,the decor decorating and
designing Like to me as aconsumer, you know it just
sounds like, oh, that goestogether.
But now hearing you explain itand break it down, it's like, oh
, I can see how they are verydifferent and I can also see how
(50:26):
it's very convenient andaccommodating to your customers
or your clients to that youoffer those things in one.
I know my husband and I we havebeen talking about a vow
renewal ceremony and I dabbleand I don't even say I won't
(50:49):
even say I dabble in decorating,but he'll see me like
decorating something for myson's birthday party or
something like that.
And he'll always joke aroundlike Do you really need somebody
to plan the vow renewalceremony?
Like look at all this stuffyou're doing.
Look at all these packagescoming to the house Like you do
(51:11):
everything yourself.
Because I'll kind of give himthe timeline while you guys are
doing this, I'm going to bebehind the scenes doing that
while you guys do.
You know I'm doing those thingsso that the birthday party can
go smoothly, right?
Because?
you got a group of rambunctious,hungry, energetic kids running
(51:31):
all around the place.
Adults really don't like goingto other kids' birthday parties
anyway, so you don't want thereto be, chaos with other parents
either.
So if you want, it to flow.
We kind of have to divide andconquer.
So, if I'm doing something likea birthday party, I'm planning
that out a month in advance.
What does the room look like?
(51:54):
What does the environment looklike so I can get in and out?
Can I set up?
Can I decorate?
Do I have to move tables?
Do I need to do so this timearound because I've gotten that
practice and experience.
I pretty much orderedeverything that I wanted.
I threw it in the wagon.
The day of the party I pickedup those cupcakes like that was
(52:16):
on the hit list and I rolledinto the party with this big,
huge, giant wagon, all the kidsand we did like a party at
Fundipo.
All the kids went and playedand did games and rides and like
maybe after an hour my husbandsent me a text like you rolled
in here with the wagon an hourago and I haven't seen you.
(52:38):
Where are you, what are youdoing?
And when he, I sent him apicture and I'm like I'm in the
party room setting up.
We're almost done.
He just text back.
Wow, I didn't even know theylet you in when you see a mom at
a birthday party with a wagonfull of stuff like she is.
(53:02):
She is on a mission.
They are not going to tell thatlady.
No, with this big grand wagonfull of stuff and all the staff,
like they would come and peepin the room to see what I was
doing, like, oh my gosh, this isso cool.
The theme was one piece.
So they were like it's a onepiece party.
Oh, this is so cool, oh, thisis so.
(53:22):
So you know, they were young orthey were like teenagers
helping out and pretty much Idon't even think my son.
Of course he didn't catch it.
His friends didn't catch it.
They just knew they showed upto a party, they got some
wristbands, they got to playlike crazy and when they got
hungry, and thirsty.
Speaker 2 (53:42):
Stage right, stage left.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
But that was just a kid's birthday party and I am
not that person.
We don't do those extravagant,I'm pretty sure.
Like the birthday parties thatyou might plan, this isn't even
on that level.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
But just think about it Now.
How much did you lose inwatching your son have fun?
Oh yeah, I didn't see him atall.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Oh no, that wasn't.
See, see him and so it's a blurto you.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
Yeah, that was a blur to you and that's the problem.
You know like, literally, I wasgoing to plan my Val Renewal
and then all of a sudden Istarted saying, oh, I'm not
having fun right now.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
Yeah, exactly Because .
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I'm not, it wasn't.
I was actually doing everythingthat I wanted and I was like,
but I don't want to think, yeah,I don't want to think about
this, yeah.
And so I literally was hiring aplanner for myself.
You know what I mean?
Because I didn't want to planit.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, and it's like that, but I'm starting to notice
it.
I don't know.
That's like the reoccurringthing to life right now.
Either you're going to take thetime to do it yourself, yeah,
or you're going to spend themoney to have somebody do it for
you so you can enjoy that time,so you're either going to spend
(55:02):
your time or you're going tospend your money, but you cannot
have both.
That has been like the commontheme, so I am so glad we had.
I feel like this is a lifecoaching session instead of like
an interview.
But before we wrap things up, Ijust want to know, because I
(55:24):
feel like you've shared so muchexperience with all of us on the
show this time around and itseems like it's been so many
tips and like gems that you havegiven us from like the
parenting side of things and thebusiness side of things.
I feel like this interview wasdefinitely twofold and you've
(55:50):
given us like parenting adviceand strategies that you have
used that works, and then you'vealso given us information on
like the business side of thingsthat have worked and kind of
like your experience and thedo's or don'ts.
So just kind of let us know ingeneral and this is a little
(56:12):
different from what we normallydo on the show but just kind of
fill us in like where are younow in life, what are the plans
or some of the goals that youhave for yourself, some of the
goals that you have for yourfamily, and give us a little
insight as to what that lookslike for you.
Speaker 2 (56:34):
Okay.
So, career wise, I'm thinkingabout going back to school and
basically pursuing probably adegree in human resources,
because I like dealing withpeople on any level, whether
they mad, sad, hurt, passed on.
I basically like to be more of.
I could be a behind the sceneshelper or I could be an upfront
(56:56):
scenes helper.
So that's where my career pathis now taking me.
I do believe that I am in myforever work environment, but if
I move up in the humanresources area with the district
, I'm okay with that too.
But I just like the feel ofworking with people, so it's
like a catch 22.
I got to figure out if I'mgoing to move maneuver in that
(57:19):
way.
Family goal wise, I plan well,now that my son is 18, and he's
going to be graduating, I planto do a little bit more
traveling, going to moreconcerts and enjoying life.
They can either get on board orthey don't.
I do want to go back to Sundaydinners because, with them being
(57:42):
older, I want them to havesomething to come back to and
just share and just have amoment that we used to have,
like right now I can cook, andthen sometimes I don't cook.
It's like, oh, fast, food it up, but I think that, you know,
creating the atmosphere back asto a one unit is something that
I'm really trying to moveforward to, and, as far as my
(58:03):
business, I am really and trulythinking about just taking a
break while I'm in school.
If I come back strong, I comeback strong.
The one thing about businessesis that the more you talk about
yourself, you keep yourself in alimelight, and I haven't been
talking about myself lately, soit's been real interesting to
(58:25):
see that people are stillreaching out and connecting with
me, even though I haven'tadvertised I haven't, I don't
have a social media for mybusiness right now.
I've been basically letting goa little bit by little bit, but
the only reason why I'm doing itright now is I'm in transition.
I just turned 40 and well, inApril I turned 40.
And, health wise, I've beentaking a little bit of a turn
(58:47):
because I'm always on the go.
So just taking more time outfor myself, enjoying life and
doing things my way for change,that's my direction and that's
what I look forward to right now.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Okay, and do you think life experience has
brought you to this point anddoing things your way?
Or do you feel like, becauseyour kids are older, now you can
kind of explore a little bitmore on your own?
Speaker 2 (59:18):
Both.
Life has made me definitely sayto myself you've always catered
to other people, even when youdidn't want to cater, and life
is also telling me that youdon't have to cater as much
because they should beself-sufficient if you did what
you did, if you did what youwere supposed to do.
(59:38):
So I put myself on a bad burnerwith a lot of things and now I
just feel like why should I now?
Like there's no reason to?
You know, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
Okay, I like that, I love that actually I hear a lot
of moms who put themselves onthe back burner for the sake of
family, kids, marriage andthings like that.
So it's awesome to hear thatnow you feel like you can pass
(01:00:15):
the baton to them and let themkind of carry the torch a little
bit and you're not completelyjust throwing them out in the
streets on their own because youknow they're 18 and 20.
It sounds like you're stillguiding them and doing some hand
holding, but you've affordedyourself the opportunity to have
enough freedom to tap back intoyourself, and I feel like a lot
(01:00:40):
of moms know that that'ssomething that needs to be done,
but a lot of the times theydon't know how to do it or what
that looks like, or when to doit, or how to be about
themselves and still care fortheir family.
So it's nice to hear that wehave someone here who's kind of
(01:01:05):
striking the balance, becauseyou're still present, you're
still mom, you still have a wayof factoring in that quality
time with your family, but nowyou can really take care of
yourself, and I feel like a lotof moms need that, but there
(01:01:25):
aren't a lot of sources orresources out there to help you
do that.
And then you've also touched ona huge part which I always talk
about in every episode thefinancial piece, because I feel
like social media will put outso many things that have you
(01:01:47):
just thinking about motherhoodand self care and self help and
all of these different resources, but it becomes so expensive
and I feel like you have givenus so many ideas and so many
creative ways to be resourcefuland work with what you have to
(01:02:10):
get your kids where they need tobe, to get your family where it
needs to be, and it sounds likenobody's suffering, nobody's
missing out on anything.
You have afforded your familywas so many invaluable
experiences that they're goingto be able to take with them.
(01:02:31):
So thank you so much.
I think that is so amazing whatyou were doing, and I had no
idea the things that you doentail so much.
So thank you so much for justgiving more insight, sharing
your story on this platform, andjust thank you for your time.
I I this was awesome.
(01:02:52):
I know we did a differentformat.
I think this was successful.
I'm so happy with theinformation that we gather, and
I'm just looking forward to justseeing what comes next for you
and what you was in store foryou.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
I appreciate you having me and I look forward to
more for shitty moms episodes,because it's awesome, because,
you know, different experiencesafford you different
opportunities to grow and I'mokay with that.
I'm definitely okay with that.
It's an open platform that, Ithink, is awesome for a lot of
(01:03:30):
moms.
We, we cry in silence and thisis kind of like our way of
saying, hey, yeah, we're crying,but we are okay now and you
know, someone else is there withme and it's okay, because we
realize that we're a communityall in our in our own self.
So, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Keep doing what you're doing too, thank you, and
power yourself.
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Thank you so much.
All right, have a good one.
Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
Thank you, you too, bye, bye.
Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Hey, everyone is your favorite BCB AD here, dr
DeLoren, and I'm here to ask youto help us continue making
great content for listenerseverywhere by visiting
www.4shittymomscom, where youcan make a monthly contribution.
Also visit us on Instagram,youtube, facebook and TikTok at
(01:04:23):
4 shitty moms and that shittywith an X, not an.
I Thank you.
This episode of FSM is brought to you by Fidelity
Behavioral Alliance, your numberone source for behavior change.
Fidelity Behavioral Alliancecreates behavior change programs
for schools, parents andorganizations looking to reduce
problem behaviors and improveperformance outcomes.
(00:20):
Find out more atwwwfidelitybehavioralalliancecom
.
If you would like to sponsor anepisode of FSM, email us at
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That's S-H-X-T-M-O-M atgmailcom.
(00:43):
It's time to put the kids tobed, so y'all get ready for
another episode of For ShittyMoms.
Hey everyone, this is part twoof a two-part series, so if you
haven't listened to part one, goahead and stream that on your
favorite platform.
(01:03):
So that part of the job is alot, but the end result, when
you have children communicatingwith families, you have families
who are now able to go out andhave dinner A lot of my families
.
They can't even go to arestaurant and have dinner.
(01:24):
That's just something that theydon't do Something as simple as
going grocery shopping.
They don't go grocery shoppingwith their children.
It's too much of a challenge,it's too much of a hassle.
So when you can finally startputting things in place and you
have a parent like, oh my God,we went to the store and it was
so nice, those are the momentsthat you know to see the parents
(01:49):
now.
Yeah, it's like that pivotalmoment where now you've opened
up this family to a whole newset of possibilities, because
their kid now understands how totransition from home to a car,
to a store and back to the carRight, a sense of norm.
(02:10):
Yeah, so that's the rewardingpart.
But it's now I'm getting to thepoint where I'm like, all right
, I'm going to have to pick andchoose.
Like, is this where the timethat I'm spending on the
weekends to prepare for a weekof work and kind of missing out
and trying to squeeze my kid inon the back burner, like what's
(02:34):
the trade off going to be?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
It's not, I'm going to tell you right now is not
worth it.
The only way you're going to dobetter at what you're doing is
See, the thing is, is you workfrom home?
So create in a space that feelslike work.
You have to close the door andyou have to do an extra hour
(02:55):
whatever you can.
So that extra hour, whateveryou want it to be if it's
catching up on emails, if it'sstaffing the case, or whatever
the case you want to call it, ifit's making phone calls that
hour should be so jam packed sothat when you feel, when you
come out of it, you feel likeyou, you made a step forward.
(03:18):
If you don't feel like that,after that extra because
everyone does it Everyone has anextra hour where they actually
still work, where they don'tfeel like they work, but they
still work.
Even if it's thinking the drivehome, the commute home from your
job, you're still thinking dang, did I make that email that I
correct that thing, that I dothis, you're still working.
But that's why I said, if youcreate that hour of space where
(03:39):
you're okay with giving an houreither twice, twice a week or
three times a week, you're goingto be fine Because that's,
that's something, it's a passion.
Anyway, it's not just a career,it's a passion.
It's like you want that tohappen, so you don't mind giving
when it's a passion.
So if you give an extra hourand you say I'm jam packing that
with this, that means don'ttouch this during the day.
(04:03):
Do what you need to do duringthe day, but leave that for that
.
And the only reason why I saythat is because then, when you
have that sense of fulfillment,when you put it down, your phone
can turn off a nothingimportant past six o'clock for
your job yeah, nothing.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
And since the clock is pushing it.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I wish you know, especially if you started at
seven.
Yeah, Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
That reminds me I was just watching a TED talk and
the lady specializes in liketime management and I said I was
going to try it, I'm going toread up on it a little bit more.
But she did a case study andhad people keeping time journals
and she was like, when youthink about it, you have 24
hours a day, seven days a week,you have 168 hours a week.
(04:52):
That 168 hours, you're onlyworking 40 hours a week.
And she was like some peopleokay, let's push it to 50.
Right, because we might be,doing a little bit more.
And she was like if you have asecond job, like a side hustle
or something like that, okay,maybe you're working 60.
(05:12):
And she's like the people whoare claiming to work 70 and 75
hours a week when they startdoing those time journals,
they're off by like 20 hours.
So no, you're not working 70 to75 hours a week, so from there
she's like okay, if you geteight hours of sleep, less, less
(05:33):
go with people, people don't.
They usually don't.
She was saying by the time youfactor in the time that you
actually spend working, the timethat you actually spend
sleeping, you still have anentire 72 hours left in your
week to do whatever you want todo.
But the determining factor whenyou run into people who are
(05:56):
saying, oh, I don't have timefor that, I don't have time for
this, it's the priority.
So she said when she startedinterviewing different people I
guess one person who you knowvery successful, that's what she
said the more successful people.
Basically, they pick and choosehow they want to spend their
(06:18):
time with every single thingthey do.
So she said one person who wasprobably the most productive and
the most successful person.
That was a part of this study.
She had to reschedule theinterview like countless times
and when she finally got theinterview with a person, the
person just told her hey, Ispend my time how I want to
(06:42):
spend my time.
If it's a priority for me, thenI'm going to do it.
But when I say I don't havetime for that, it's not that I
don't have time for it, I don'twant to do it, that's not a
priority for me, so I'm notgoing to do it and I'm like wow.
But when you look at her timejournal, her time is was used
(07:05):
the most efficiently out ofeveryone else and she had the
most fulfillment because sheprioritized every single task
that she did throughout the day.
So I just watched I didn'tfinish the TED talk, but I was
like whoa, that's eye opening.
Like maybe I'll try that first,just to see, okay, what am I
(07:29):
really doing throughout the day,because I think I spend a lot
of time like oh my God, I got somuch to do.
That's like girl, you didn'teven get started.
Go do it, stop thinking aboutit Stop agonizing over
it Girl, go do it, and I'll evensee my husband, like we are the
total opposite.
So I feel like, for me, I haveto gear up to do what I need to
(07:52):
do, right?
So I got to get my son situated.
I I try to get some kind ofexercise, yoga, something,
meditation, anything, and then Itry to make sure I have
breakfast.
Okay, now I'm ready to sit downand focus on what I have to do.
My husband is the opposite,right?
(08:15):
So he, when it's time for himto get started and tackle his to
do list, like he goes fullforce and he does not stop until
it's done.
Once it's done, then he feelslike he can relax.
And and I'm the opposite I gotto work my way up to it and he's
working his way down from itand I'm like, wow, I wonder, is
(08:40):
that more productive?
Is it more?
Is that a more efficient way towork?
And then, when he's done, he'sdone and he can do whatever he
wants to do with his qualitytime or not, like I would just
like to see you know, and beingthat, I it's not.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
It's not more productive, it's just what works
for him.
Yeah, and that's the thing youhave to find what works for you.
Like me, I was like, um, whatpeople was using a agenda book
at work and I was like, oh, Ican't stand these damage in the
book.
Right, I will write everythingdown and never look back at it.
(09:16):
Oh, I was going to do thattoday.
Okay, I totally forgot that.
Well, I'm not going to lie toyou.
I made a conscious effort toactually use it over the summer.
So, and I haven't.
What the thing is is I haven'tcompleted it, but I did say I'm
going to go back to that.
So, and the reason why I'msaying is because now I'm
(09:38):
finding a little bit morebalance within me.
So I have my app, or my agendabook.
My husband says you do it liketrying to set a senior reminder.
I haven't got that far yet.
The reminders will make me gocrazy.
So I said let me just mentallygo look at it.
Let me make a habit of going tomentally look at my book.
So I got the book, had the monthput down, people's birthdays
(10:02):
put down, you know bills and youknow what I was planning on
doing whatever.
And then the next page wasdetail, a little detail page of
the day.
So you had a deep drill.
Your day and put down what youneeded to do is like your to-do
list, and I actually startedwriting down five things to do
every single day that I need todo for the next day.
(10:23):
So I would take time out andsay, okay, this is what I didn't
finish, this is what mypriority is.
I wrote it down, all of themdown, and then beside it was
like these little boxes ofsoccer put check marks.
I did it.
Now, the reason I like that wasbecause mentally, I was
consciously thinking did I?
Speaker 1 (10:43):
oh, I didn't do none of that to go.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I got to do that tomorrow and then it was.
It brought me a sense offulfillment just to know what I
was doing the next day.
Anything can come in between,but those was my priorities for
that day Because it was all myto-do list and I wanted it done.
So I think, yeah, so I thinkthat you would have to do that
(11:09):
too.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah, I'm a to-do list person, even if I don't
look back at my to-do list.
But a friend of mine who doeslike professional planning she
told me she always refers backto her to-do list because it
gives her a sense ofaccomplishment and even if she
(11:33):
didn't finish her stuff on thatparticular day, even if it's a
week later, she's gonna go backto that page where she wrote
that to-do list and she's stillgonna check off that box because
that gives her a sense ofaccomplishment.
So I, when she brought that tomy attention.
I'm like oh okay, let me try it.
(11:54):
It I felt like it gave me someaccountability.
It made me feel like I wasbeing more productive, because
normally I just kind of knockout stuff and for me to remember
anything I have to transcribe,Like I have to, even if I don't
read it again.
As long as I write it down,it's in my memory, I don't have
(12:15):
to look at it again, and that'show I learn as well.
So when I'm learning something,when I'm taking classes, when
I'm studying for boards, I amthat person.
I have to write out everything.
I don't have to read it.
I never read my notes because Ialready wrote it.
Once it's written, it's in myhead, is stuck, but it was nice,
that's my kids.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
My kids are like that .
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, I don't.
I don't know what that is, Idon't know what it's called, but
I definitely learned throughtranscribing.
But that sense ofaccomplishment and I feel like
the anxiety kind of goes downwhen I can look back at what I
wrote down and it's like, oh myGod, I did all of these things.
And in some days I'm like, Okay, don't make a to do list with
(13:00):
more than 10 things on it, andsometimes I will even text
myself all of my to do list andI will knock those things out.
But I'll say, this past week Ijust got to the point where I
was like I did all of thesethings, but you're doing too
much.
(13:20):
Like this time, this particulartime, it wasn't a sense of
accomplishment, it was more like, Okay, I need to find a way to
kind of categorize these thingsthat I'm doing.
Some of this needs to go to anassistant, a virtual assistant
(13:43):
or it.
Somehow it needs to get off ofmy to do list.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Your point.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah, it's got to between juggling like lawn.
You don't even want to knowwhat the laundry looks like
right now because I'm likethat's not a priority, so it's
like a mountain of laundry.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
See, I and I watch a load of laundry in the morning
every day.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Oh, I wash the clothes, that's no problem.
But folding, putting away,hanging up, it's a wrap.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
That's another thing too.
I don't do all of that, likeliterally, I, I wash it, it goes
in a dryer and I, I've thisshot.
Well, my kids do their own.
So that takes a lot.
But what I'm worried about ismainly me, my husband and the
towels.
Okay, so, because I wash mytowels that we dry off with and
(14:34):
you know don't wash clothesthose going one, but cleaning
towels go to somethingseparately, right, and then I
have my, my dog stuff, my pets.
So me personally, likeliterally, I only have the one
thing at a time.
So if it's me and my husband'sclothes, my, my, I wash my
clothes separate from myhusband's too.
So when I finish I'm like, hey,this, all your stuff, yeah,
(14:59):
here's the basket, yeah, goodluck and it.
But we have a basket for theclean clothes.
And if it never reaches thecloset and he want to keep
digging for gold, that is hisentire purpose and plan.
And I'm okay with me personally.
I my underwear and bras and allof that.
I take all of that out becauseI fold up my underwear and I put
(15:21):
it in my thing and then afterthat, any workout clothes go in
my drawers too, and then theclothes that have to be hung up.
Unfortunately, I'm particular,so all my clothes go on black
kangaroos.
So I'm like, hey, stop using myblack kangaroos, I need my
black kangaroos, so you know.
So I take all the blackkangaroos, he get all the white
hangers, and that's when I hangup my clothes.
(15:42):
And then, once I'm done with mystuff and towels, the moment
they come out the dryer I foldthem because, because, because
it's right there next to thecloset, and it's like Okay, you
know what?
Oh, put it up.
Oh, put it up, and plus it'd bewarm to me.
So I kind of like be like alittle bit involved in that Okay
(16:02):
.
So yeah, but if I do towels thatday, towels have to go up
because we have dogs and I don'twant them on my towels because
when something smells good tothem, they like to go and smell
it too, like they got issues.
So I'm like no, I won't needyour nose on my towel.
So I put them up and they nevermake it to the sofa's nothing.
(16:24):
But if you don't want to handleit, put it in the basket and
cover it up and when you get toit, hopefully there ain't
nothing you want.
But I have enough clothes tosatisfy me.
If I didn't want to put up myclothes and I don't want to look
in that basket, I have enoughclothes that I can wear for at
least three weeks at a time Ihave.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
I have too many clothes, that's the issue.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
Too many, I've been every three months I've been
getting none sense what do youmean?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Oh, too many clothes.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Nonsense, nonsense, women.
I've been getting women.
There is no such thing.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, I'm like why is it so many?
But you do you need yourclothes for the gym, you need
your clothes for work.
For me I wear, like I have mywork uniforms.
But when I'm first introducingmyself, now that I'm going back
into the schools and kind ofconsulting with different
schools, those are like a that'sa different wardrobe from when
(17:22):
I'm working one on one with thekid or if I'm training my
assistant, because I just neverknow, like when I'm training my
assistant or when I'm workingwith the kid, I'm in joggers, a
t-shirt and I'll have on my longsleeves.
Because I don't know, am Ichasing a kid today?
Am I bending out?
Like what am I doing?
I don't know what I'm gettinginto.
(17:43):
So I have to be ready foranything.
But when I'm first introducingmyself to people, I've stopped
wearing like my joggers and myshirt because I've noticed and I
don't know really what this isall about, but I've noticed that
I'm treated differently.
So I have to dress a certain wayto get a certain level of
(18:11):
respect.
I feel like that level ofrespect should already be there,
but through my work experiencethat is not the case, so it's
unfortunate.
Like I would love to wearscrubs to work, right, but the
way that I'm treated when Idress that way and I'm still
(18:33):
professional when I'm a littlemore casual and in my clothes
that I would work with childrenin, but the level of respect or
the level of disrespect thatcomes from the adults and the
environment to me has becomeintolerable.
So now it's like a differentwardrobe and a totally different
(18:55):
set of clothes.
Just to introduce myself to thestaff.
You're a school administrator,so that that front desk person
that you meet, those principalsecretaries, those secretaries
in the front office, I feel likethey can make or break the
whole situation right, and theway that you are introduced to
(19:16):
that school staff, the receptionthat you get from that school
staff, really depends on thatfirst encounter with that person
that you meet at the door.
So this time around I took adifferent approach and had to go
shopping all over again.
So now I have two differentsets of clothes that I'm wearing
just to talk to adults and thena different set of clothes that
(19:40):
I'm wearing when I need to workwith a kid.
Right, it should not be thatdifficult, but I've noticed the
level of respect since I'vestarted changing my dress code
is unparalleled Before.
I would be treated likesomebody's assistant yeah, like,
and it's crazy, because youwould think you have a kid with
(20:04):
special needs.
The child is supposed to be thepriority.
You have a teacher who'sstressed out to the max.
You would think they would behappy to see you coming in to
offer them some kind of help andassistance.
And okay, let's get things ontrack.
What do you need help with?
And pretty much if I walkthrough the door and joggers,
(20:25):
unfortunately they treat me likethe help.
Just get him out of herePerception.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
What is your job?
Again?
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Perception is everything that is insane to me.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Perception is everything, and people don't
respect a boss that can't.
They respect a boss that can doboth, but they don't respect a
boss that only can work one way.
You know what I mean.
Like you can only come dressedlike that.
What if I want you to meetsomeone from you know higher up
on my staff?
(20:56):
You know I'm introducing youlike this.
You know my thing is is that Ibelieve that people are, if you
do what you do, they.
This is how they might say well, she coming here in scrubs, but
she the boss.
Or it can be like this but herto be the boss, she coming
scrubs.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
Oh wow, it's a perception.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Yeah, it's a perception.
Sometimes, what people used todo to show that they were of a
higher level was they had sometype of emblem on them, some
type of accountability attachedto them.
So say, you came in scrubs butyou had a name tag.
Now you're showing that I'mthis important to where I want
(21:42):
you to know who I am and I haveour badges, but I did say I was
going to put which to me.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Initially I was a little uncomfortable putting my
credentials like on my jacketright, because, like I told you,
I go in my joggers, I go in mymy jacket and I just you better
write that paragraph.
Yeah, I mean I'm gonna have tobecause the difference is insane
(22:12):
.
But to me, when, with the jobthat I do with our special needs
little ones and for the mostpart, like I, worked in early
intervention you know I need toget on their level.
I'm not here for you, I'm hereto help this child communicate
and, like immerse themselves inthe environment.
(22:32):
So, but can I be honest withyou?
Go ahead.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
We don't know.
I know what all yourcredentials look like yeah, we
don't know what a supervisorlook like yeah, so you could put
all that on your shirt.
If it doesn't Won't meananything to the, to the outside
world, until you let the.
I could tell you two thingsthat tells us that something
(22:57):
different is about you.
If you say I'm Miss Monteser,okay, she, just miss Monteser.
I am doctor Monteser, oh, yeah,okay, yeah, you're.
That's one way that we can knowthat there's something else
different about you.
The other thing is to literallyjust tell us you have to say I
(23:23):
am the supervisor, this is mycompany, I you know what I mean,
like you have to literally tellpeople physically this is who I
am.
Yeah, and I had to getcomfortable with that.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
I had to get comfortable with it.
I I think I just did it thefirst time when I introduced
myself to this set of schoolsthat I'm working with under my
own company.
So yeah, I had to kind of growin that because I didn't want
people to think, oh, she's justthrowing this title around.
But from my experience therewere one too many instances of
(24:01):
disrespect that just didn't sittoo well with me and it was kind
of like all right, the glovesare off.
There's no more being coy or ortrying to be polite about it.
No, I'm Dr Montesier, don'taddress me as anything else Like
that.
That is no longer an option.
And once I took that approach,even two weeks ago, I just
(24:27):
started a contract with adifferent school and usually
when I go into this, the setting, to kind of analyze the
behaviors and what's going on,I'm really supposed to make
myself invisible so I can kindof see what the natural
environment looks like, so I cansee where I'm starting, what's
really going on behind thescenes and the teacher in
(24:50):
particular was like, the nexttime you come, would you mind
notify me and letting me know,like she made it clear, to kind
of mark her territory, notknowing that I had been in touch
with the school?
I had been in touch with theschool.
I've been calling them to letthem know.
Hey, I'm coming, this is what Ido, blah, blah, blah.
(25:10):
My assistant is there, but Ineed to see what my assistant is
doing in this environment.
You know, I'm just taking overfor someone else and I just kind
of sat back, I made myobservations.
She told me next time you come,you need to email me, you need
to do it, do it and I will letyou know when is a good time.
(25:31):
This is what she told me on dayone and I just, you know we're
always taught to be humble, you,you?
are in someone else's territory,you're in that teacher's
classroom.
She's the boss, you support her, you follow her lead, you help
her.
Help this child, right, that'smy role.
So I just kind of said Iunderstand, I completely
(25:54):
understand.
I will do that.
Let me get your contactinformation, because at the time
I've been in contact with theschool.
That's how it's supposed to go.
And by the time I sent my emailthat night because when I walked
in there it was yet we don'teven know why you guys are here.
What are you doing?
Because you know we provide theservices through insurance and
(26:15):
through families and throughparents and it's kind of set up
and there is a gap in thecommunication.
I will give them that.
But if you know someone isthere to help.
I'm just not understanding theattitude and the territorial I
(26:36):
don't know nature or actionsfrom these adults, because when
I was a teacher and when Istruggled, I would have loved
someone to like step into myroom and guide me and coach me
and show me how can I do better,how can I manage this.
So after I sent the email, Idid introduce myself hey, I'm Dr
(27:01):
So-and-so, this is my role.
I understand you had questionsabout my purpose in this
environment.
This is what we do.
This is what you can expect,this is what I'm looking for.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, and I copied the teacher,
I copied the principal, I copied.
You know everyone that I wouldnormally that I encountered that
(27:22):
same day I spoke to all ofthese people in person and it
was like why are you here?
We don't understand.
Who are you?
What's your purpose?
That's pretty much what theyone email said.
Quite frankly, we don't knowwhy you're here.
That was another email from aseparate group of people, but
once they got the email, when Ifollowed up that next week, so
(27:46):
many apologies.
Oh, we weren't aware.
Oh, doctor, we're so sorry.
Oh, we're so thankful thatyou're here.
And I'm like, honestly, Ishouldn't take all of that.
It is just, even if I was a,even if I was a substitute
teacher, why wouldn't you treatthat person with a level of
(28:07):
respect, right?
So now, unfortunately, I don'tgive people the benefit of the
doubt when I once I put on thatthat working professional hat.
I'm Dr, so-and-so.
This is my role, this is what Iwill be doing, and even with my
assistance, I don't alwaysbring them in.
Sometimes they come with thechild already.
(28:29):
I kind of have to set the tone.
No, this is my expectation foryou.
I will let you know what needsto be done.
You don't let me know whatneeds to be done, and I think
I've had to grow into myassertiveness and that role.
But it's so ironic to me becauseI feel like you really have
this challenge in the schoolsetting and I don't really see
(28:53):
that in other settings, in otherindustries.
But the school settings it'skind of like, from the time you
cross that threshold it is abattle and really I'm fighting
to help.
You have a lot of resistance inour field and we're really here
(29:13):
to help.
So it's just interesting tolike encounter that dynamic and
then it's interesting to alsosee how something as simple as
closing an email will changesomebody's complete attitude.
And then they're veryapologetic and they're extra
polite.
But you should have been thatway when you first met me.
(29:34):
You should have-.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Well, we got that in banking.
They did a survey with thesurvey with customers and what
they noticed was, if they cameOkay, so they turned us into
salespeople.
So, at the teller line, if theywalked up to a teller, they
(30:05):
asked what a professional tellerwould look like.
They gave their account.
They said would you take ateller's word on the same level
as a personal banker that was inthe office, got their account
on that?
And then they said why wouldyou or would you not so one if
(30:27):
you tellers as not as important,you're supposed to take my
money, make the deposit, take itaway and put it in my account.
That's all I was supposed to dothe moment I started telling
you hey, you know, I see thatyou have a credit card and may
have a better interest rate.
Why don't you go talk to one ofour personal bankers?
No, that's fine, but if I hadon a jacket, if I put on a
(30:53):
jacket and said hey, I noticedyou have a credit card, you
might have a better interestrate available to you based on
your credit and based on the oldcredit card compared to the new
credit card their lowerinterest rate.
Huh, they thought about it andthey asked what made the
difference.
I said the same thing, but itwas because I had on a jacket.
But it was because I had on ajacket.
(31:14):
And then, yeah, a jacket.
And if you notice, if you gointo Bank of America, they all
went to jackets.
We couldn't wear a jacket.
We couldn't come to workwithout a black or blue blazer
on top of our clothes.
Yep, they made that change maybethree years before I left.
So we literally now if you hadon any other color blazer, it
(31:37):
just had to be a jacket.
It could not, because theydidn't take us serious as
professional bankers.
They also take away our title.
We were first called TellerTellers okay.
We then went to professionaltellers, oh, okay.
So they added professional.
(31:57):
They did actually give a raisebecause they changed our title
Okay, they added like a dollarraise.
So they did change us to oh,that's a professional teller, or
that is, oh, yeah, they wearingjackets.
So, and then if we were in thelobby, they didn't know us
between the bankers and a tellerbecause we had a jacket, okay.
So then they said oh, why wouldyou take the person in the
office more serious than theperson at the teller line?
(32:20):
It was one because of thejacket.
We didn't wear a jacket.
So that was one of the bank.
They weren't professionallydressed, they didn't dress like
a banker.
We weren't even considered abanker.
We were just an avenue of fundsand then or an avenue of
transaction.
But in the office it showed astep up.
(32:40):
They didn't want to talk abouttheir business at the teller
line, they wanted to have apersonal conversation with the
personal banker.
So then it became professionalteller, personal banker.
So now I feel like, ooh, now Igot somebody for myself, right,
okay, that makes sense.
It was that feeling of therefor me, yeah.
So when we had to change ourconversation, we always said let
(33:03):
our professional or let ourpersonal banker help you with
your personal needs.
When we talked about personalwith personal, they equated that
.
When they talked about tellerline to office, they equated
that I can tell you right nowpeople come into my front desk
and be like they're just thefront desk people, yeah.
But then the moment that theycall me and say hey, we have an
(33:24):
irate parent now they're lookingfor me to be someone of a
different sex because I'm in adifferent office, I'm not in
just the front desk.
So what I did was I said lookat here y'all, y'all are front
desk attendants.
I say but y'all need to assertjust a little bit of power.
I say you can say no, I wouldback you up.
(33:44):
If you say no, you can giveinformation out.
Just let it be correct.
Yeah, that way they can say Ican help you.
I say I'll start telling them.
Stop saying, oh, my secretary,no, the information.
No, say I can help you.
And the moment that you startshowing accountability and that
you're more knowledgeable thanjust answering the phone and
signing up their child, peopleare going to take you to the
office and people are going totake you more seriously for
(34:07):
information.
So I believe that, in essence,professional wear does get you
places and it's all aboutperception, but it is what it is
.
People view peopleprofessionally when they dress
different and as much as Now, Ican tell you right now we had a
(34:27):
guy that came in that was brokeas a joke, but he dressed up
like he was rich and we used tolook at him like, hey, you got
42 cents.
He was like, hey, look at this,like, oh, my check didn't hit
yet, I'll be back.
He was so confident that BlackBlaser did it for him.
Ok, baby, he was on cloud, yousee me, and we were like we were
(34:49):
so broke right now, but that'swhat he did and you know what.
We respected him simply becausehe wasn't his bank account.
He was who he was.
You know what I'm saying and youhave to just know that too,
about yourself, like when I comein there sometimes on Fridays
and I wear tennis shoes.
They were like, oh, it makes meprofessionally dressed.
They'll come and get me andI'll be in my tennis shoes, some
(35:12):
jeans and a the shirt for theschool.
And now they look at me likeyou just got her.
Yeah, what you mean?
What's up?
Don't I be like in my mind.
I like don't let this get youup, get you, but what?
Speaker 1 (35:27):
happened?
What, what?
Speaker 2 (35:29):
what happened and then, when they realize I can
help them right no matter howI'm dressed.
Yeah, they do treat me a littlebit different, don't?
Speaker 1 (35:36):
change the knowledge.
But yeah, people don't, it'sjust fine.
Yeah, they don't respond.
So life has gotten a littleeasier with that and I think
I've grown a little morecomfortable In that, but
typically, in general, I'm amore casual person.
I like things to be morefunctional, so that's pretty
(35:58):
much how I dress when I dressfor work.
I have on long sleeves becauseI don't want a kid Bottley
fluids getting on me ifsomething happens.
Um, I I don't want to getscratched up or bitten if I'm
working with a kid and things gosouth very quickly.
So I wear sneakers and joggers.
(36:19):
I wear the cargo pants becauseI need pockets.
I got to have toys andreinforcers and all that stuff
and it's safer on me.
Absolutely.
And I put on those sneakersbecause I might have the sprint
and run and, you know, scoopsomebody up real quick.
But you know, unfortunatelyEveryone doesn't get that.
(36:39):
So usually on the days where Ido dress up, I try to make that
just my initial meet and greetand If something goes south
because I'm not dressedaccordingly, unfortunately I
can't help you like I'm notdressed for it, unless I kick
off my shoes and you know, takeoff, I'm not dressed for that.
(37:02):
Um, so it's just interesting tosee the shift and the dynamic.
The information hasn't changedAt all, like I know what I know,
regardless of how I'm dressed,but the level of respect that
has been established just for mewearing slack and it's not even
(37:25):
I am not the most fashionforward person.
I'm trying to put some stufftogether.
My goal is just To look decent,but it's amazing how Some
slacks and some ballet flats anda nice cardigan Makes all the
difference in the world.
So I'm kind of learning thatand putting on my business hat
(37:45):
as I go.
Um it just takes a lot.
I'm learning this year, thisyear.
I've learned a lot in Then whatit means to like call yourself
a boss, right?
I feel like Since covet,everyone became like
entrepreneurs and startedrunning businesses and everyone
loves to call themselves likethe ceo.
(38:07):
But I feel like my business issmall and I'm still wearing so
many hats.
It's just made me have so muchmore Respect for those small
business owners who have been inthe game for so long, like
Before owning your own businesswas trendy and a fad, and before
(38:31):
the pandemic, where people hadto just Hustle and put stuff
together because everything shutdown and we didn't know what
was going to happen, where thenext dollar was coming from.
Those people who have beenrunning these traditional
businesses before social media,marketing and and things like
that.
Now I'm looking at them througha whole new lens.
(38:53):
Like damn, you were doing allof that behind the scenes, with
less technology, less marketingtools, and they have been
consistent.
That is insane to me To see howmany different hats they have
to wear.
In addition to most of themProvide the service as well.
(39:15):
So not only are they the boss,the accountant, the receptionist
, like Depending on what thebusiness is.
They're the employee as well.
They're the janitor, thecustodian, like you name it.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
They do it so that the thing is is is the thing is
is making.
When you start the business,you don't start it full strong.
What you do is you layer thegrowth.
So when you start the business,you start on the one level and
(39:52):
then you add a service.
Once you master those twoservices, okay, when you add the
service, you take time.
So when I first started, I wasjust doing Event planning.
Okay, I was just planning theevent, planning the event, and
then I said, oh, but I need tocoordinate it too.
So I was doing both and then Irealized that they, they were
(40:12):
one and the same with each other.
Once I planned it, it was likeexecution was the plant, the
coordinating part.
So it was like, oh, yes, I getto see what I planned in full
motion.
And then I added decorating,slowly, so my decorations and I
didn't had, I had no inventory,so I added decorations.
And then after that I said,okay, I'm adding decorations.
(40:34):
So now that's another layer ofthought process.
I'm thinking about how theevent looks and how the flow of
the room is going to look, andthen my coordinating comes in
that day.
So it's like whoa, whoa, okay,oh, whoa, whoa, okay, oh, whoa.
It was like, okay, they gotogether.
And then I knew that eventuallyI wanted to bring in extra
revenue when I didn't have anevent.
(40:55):
So I said I want to start myrental side of the company.
So even when I had an event Iwas renting out my items.
But I said I'm not going tostart that until I have Um,
until I'm ready to do that,because that took an extra Part
of planning to do, because now Ihave to make sure that the
event that I had Wasn't usingthe items that someone wanted to
(41:16):
rent on the same day.
So it took me, it took me likescheduling, and now I'm like, oh
, but I didn't add rentals untilmy second or third year of
being in business.
Oh, okay and, and it had to beup to Five tables at first and
then by my fifth year I was upto 10 tables.
So if you wanted to getsomething from me, I knew I
(41:40):
could accommodate up to 100guests.
An inventory, okay.
So what people don't realize isthat, yeah, you can hit the
gate straight out.
You can do that, but Were youready for it?
Yeah, you handle it and I knewfor sure I couldn't handle all
of that, even though that was mygoal.
(42:00):
So I had business goals.
So the one, the way I found outthat the secret of it to it all
was to gradually add serviceson.
And then it came to the pointwhere I was like that's all the
services I want to do.
Because then I started saying,okay, now I don't want this
inventory in the one.
I need to sell a package andthen get rid of it all together.
(42:21):
So then I became now a personthat invested and now I need to
have a return on my investment.
And that was now accounting.
Oh, my gosh, I need to go homeand think about this.
I need to go home and write allthis down.
Oh, did I just sell a packagefor less than what I invested
for?
Normally you do, but At the endof then you have to stay with
the trend.
So now you're doing a wholebunch of research.
(42:42):
Then I put myself through schoolfor it.
So I was like, oh, now I haveto stop this amount of time
frame so I can have time to goto school to master my craft.
So, yeah, you, I should haveprobably went beforehand, but
then I realized that I wanted togo deeper with it, with
cultures and respect forcultures and respect for
etiquette on a table.
So then you, you start toelevate, but are you ready for
(43:04):
it?
So then, that's why I say toeverybody um, wait, think about
where you want your business atnow and where you wanted to go,
and how you want to do.
That's basically coming up witha business plan all all in one.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
So how did you get started with the event planning?
How did that come about?
Speaker 2 (43:26):
I just I've been with doing it march or make 10 years
.
But I literally dived in headfirst.
Hair got wet, shoes and clothesgot wet.
I walked out drowning.
I was like, oh baby, what was Ithinking?
And then the first Um, I wascalling one time to rent linen
(43:48):
and I said I need eight tablecosts round.
And she says what size?
What you mean, what size?
There, there's, there's a size.
Um, she says yes, there's this,there's that, there's this.
I said, um, the one that fit acircle table.
And she was like she said doyou want to call me?
(44:09):
I said I sure do.
Yes, I do.
And I hung up the phone and Isaid to myself I should have
just stuck to event planning andcoordinating, because now I'm
trying to decorate and don'teven know the size of a table.
And you know what I had to do.
I literally that's how myinventory got started.
I was like I need a rectangletablecloth.
She says what size?
Hmm, you did that again.
(44:29):
You asked that question againOkay, so I went and I bought a
rectangle table and I say thisis six feet.
Okay, this is six feet.
So I started buying all thesetablecloths and I was like it's
not going to the floor.
Okay, all right.
So what else I mean?
And so my, my diving man was atrue dive in.
(44:50):
And then when I was, it wasdeep, it was deep.
And I was like whoa, I say thisis a whole another beast.
And then that's when I said I'mnot gonna offer decorating yet,
let me put that to the side.
And then that's when I went back.
Yeah, I went back to what I knew, how I like I'm a person of
(45:12):
show, so I consider eventstheatrical.
Okay, yeah, so basicallythey're on stage and I feel like
I'm always that person, becauseI was in high school, I was in
ballet or in dance, and it wasall about stage left, stage
right, making sure that you keepthe focus on one end when
(45:35):
you're creating another space onthe other end.
So I used, you know, becausethen everyone's focusing on the
left, so when you're makingchanges over here on the right,
they're not even payingattention to that.
So I always remembered that andI like it to be a flawless
transition between things.
It's not always flawless, butit's the perfection that I aim
(45:56):
for and go to.
So when I started realizing okay, I got event planning and court
name together and I was like Ineed to take time to get my
decorating together, becausethen the beauty of it was where
I found myself creating.
I was in a space of adream-like world where I could
(46:17):
create, you know, anything thatI wanted to.
So I started off by makingpersonalized centerpieces.
So it all was personalized toyou.
So it was literally me handmaking the centerpieces and I
yeah.
But then I realized veryquickly that I wasn't charging
(46:37):
enough to do and put in thatmuch time.
So then I said, okay, I have totransition to sit down
centerpieces and go from there.
And then I started usingvendors.
And the industry was not kind tome in the beginning and it was
a lot of event planners, I'msorry.
Well, I found out that a lot ofthe decorators that were out
(47:00):
there were not planners, theywere not coordinators, they
literally were decorators only.
So when I would go to them andsay, hey, what you use for your
timeline, what you use for this,they had no idea what I was
talking about.
They had no idea.
And then they weren't.
Didn't they want, they didn'twant to share secrets, they
(47:21):
didn't want to share vendors.
So everyone who I literally amin business with were the people
that were kind enough to extendan olive branch and say I will
work with you, even though theyhadn't known me in the industry.
Some people come to me who werevery mean, very, very mean.
(47:43):
They did not want to help me.
And I look at them and I findmyself saying, should I help
them?
Speaker 1 (47:51):
Oh, wow.
Speaker 2 (47:52):
You were in the game way longer than me and wouldn't
help me, wouldn't even offerlittle advice.
Little advice.
There was only one eventplanner that helped me and to
this day I would never anythingshe asked for.
I give it to her because when Iwas starting she sat down and
(48:14):
told me about taxes.
She told me about making sure Ihave a tax exempt for this and
making sure I always carry withme, making sure I did.
And I mean she took two hoursto talk to me and I've always
said to myself I would neverleave her.
Whenever she wanted me, I wouldbe there for her.
But I literally can say thatfor her.
I literally can say that fromthe ground up.
(48:36):
I worked this whole business upfrom my own hands period.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Wow, that's amazing.
Speaker 2 (48:43):
Yeah, and that's why it's so hard to just let someone
come in and just tell me whatthey want me to do.
It's like, no, yeah, you learnthat too.
You learn no very quickly, okay, but I am never.
But I always help people whocome to me Like I have someone
that's in Georgia, she's doingphenomenal, and she always call
(49:04):
me and say, mentor, tell me whatyou want me to do.
And I'm like she called me amentor, okay, but she's so sweet
, but I've never not helped her.
I was like, hey, this is what Idid, this is what I did.
I didn't want to be like thoseother people.
Yeah, and she I've talked toher off the ledge like five
different times and she was likeI was going to throw this, all
the stuff, in the garbage.
(49:24):
I said, girl, you can't throwit in the garbage.
I say just keep going, keepgoing.
But yeah, I help people out toowith the business and I'm very
thankful, but they were notcalling to me in the beginning.
Speaker 1 (49:38):
I mean, it's I never would have.
I follow you on social mediaand I feel like from the
beginning, like years ago I wasstill in undergrad and I heard
about you doing different eventsand things like that and just
hearing you break it down, Inever knew there was so many
different sides to it, just withyou explaining like the
(50:02):
coordinating the event planning,the decor decorating and
designing Like to me as aconsumer, you know it just
sounds like, oh, that goestogether.
But now hearing you explain itand break it down, it's like, oh
, I can see how they are verydifferent and I can also see how
(50:26):
it's very convenient andaccommodating to your customers
or your clients to that youoffer those things in one.
I know my husband and I we havebeen talking about a vow
renewal ceremony and I dabbleand I don't even say I won't
(50:49):
even say I dabble in decorating,but he'll see me like
decorating something for myson's birthday party or
something like that.
And he'll always joke aroundlike Do you really need somebody
to plan the vow renewalceremony?
Like look at all this stuffyou're doing.
Look at all these packagescoming to the house Like you do
(51:11):
everything yourself.
Because I'll kind of give himthe timeline while you guys are
doing this, I'm going to bebehind the scenes doing that
while you guys do.
You know I'm doing those thingsso that the birthday party can
go smoothly, right?
Because?
you got a group of rambunctious,hungry, energetic kids running
(51:31):
all around the place.
Adults really don't like goingto other kids' birthday parties
anyway, so you don't want thereto be, chaos with other parents
either.
So if you want, it to flow.
We kind of have to divide andconquer.
So, if I'm doing something likea birthday party, I'm planning
that out a month in advance.
What does the room look like?
(51:54):
What does the environment looklike so I can get in and out?
Can I set up?
Can I decorate?
Do I have to move tables?
Do I need to do so this timearound because I've gotten that
practice and experience.
I pretty much orderedeverything that I wanted.
I threw it in the wagon.
The day of the party I pickedup those cupcakes like that was
(52:16):
on the hit list and I rolledinto the party with this big,
huge, giant wagon, all the kidsand we did like a party at
Fundipo.
All the kids went and playedand did games and rides and like
maybe after an hour my husbandsent me a text like you rolled
in here with the wagon an hourago and I haven't seen you.
(52:38):
Where are you, what are youdoing?
And when he, I sent him apicture and I'm like I'm in the
party room setting up.
We're almost done.
He just text back.
Wow, I didn't even know theylet you in when you see a mom at
a birthday party with a wagonfull of stuff like she is.
(53:02):
She is on a mission.
They are not going to tell thatlady.
No, with this big grand wagonfull of stuff and all the staff,
like they would come and peepin the room to see what I was
doing, like, oh my gosh, this isso cool.
The theme was one piece.
So they were like it's a onepiece party.
Oh, this is so cool, oh, thisis so.
(53:22):
So you know, they were young orthey were like teenagers
helping out and pretty much Idon't even think my son.
Of course he didn't catch it.
His friends didn't catch it.
They just knew they showed upto a party, they got some
wristbands, they got to playlike crazy and when they got
hungry, and thirsty.
Speaker 2 (53:42):
Stage right, stage left.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
But that was just a kid's birthday party and I am
not that person.
We don't do those extravagant,I'm pretty sure.
Like the birthday parties thatyou might plan, this isn't even
on that level.
Speaker 2 (54:00):
But just think about it Now.
How much did you lose inwatching your son have fun?
Oh yeah, I didn't see him atall.
Speaker 1 (54:09):
Oh no, that wasn't.
See, see him and so it's a blurto you.
Speaker 2 (54:13):
Yeah, that was a blur to you and that's the problem.
You know like, literally, I wasgoing to plan my Val Renewal
and then all of a sudden Istarted saying, oh, I'm not
having fun right now.
Speaker 1 (54:23):
Yeah, exactly Because .
Speaker 2 (54:24):
I'm not, it wasn't.
I was actually doing everythingthat I wanted and I was like,
but I don't want to think, yeah,I don't want to think about
this, yeah.
And so I literally was hiring aplanner for myself.
You know what I mean?
Because I didn't want to planit.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, and it's like that, but I'm starting to notice
it.
I don't know.
That's like the reoccurringthing to life right now.
Either you're going to take thetime to do it yourself, yeah,
or you're going to spend themoney to have somebody do it for
you so you can enjoy that time,so you're either going to spend
(55:02):
your time or you're going tospend your money, but you cannot
have both.
That has been like the commontheme, so I am so glad we had.
I feel like this is a lifecoaching session instead of like
an interview.
But before we wrap things up, Ijust want to know, because I
(55:24):
feel like you've shared so muchexperience with all of us on the
show this time around and itseems like it's been so many
tips and like gems that you havegiven us from like the
parenting side of things and thebusiness side of things.
I feel like this interview wasdefinitely twofold and you've
(55:50):
given us like parenting adviceand strategies that you have
used that works, and then you'vealso given us information on
like the business side of thingsthat have worked and kind of
like your experience and thedo's or don'ts.
So just kind of let us know ingeneral and this is a little
(56:12):
different from what we normallydo on the show but just kind of
fill us in like where are younow in life, what are the plans
or some of the goals that youhave for yourself, some of the
goals that you have for yourfamily, and give us a little
insight as to what that lookslike for you.
Speaker 2 (56:34):
Okay.
So, career wise, I'm thinkingabout going back to school and
basically pursuing probably adegree in human resources,
because I like dealing withpeople on any level, whether
they mad, sad, hurt, passed on.
I basically like to be more of.
I could be a behind the sceneshelper or I could be an upfront
(56:56):
scenes helper.
So that's where my career pathis now taking me.
I do believe that I am in myforever work environment, but if
I move up in the humanresources area with the district
, I'm okay with that too.
But I just like the feel ofworking with people, so it's
like a catch 22.
I got to figure out if I'mgoing to move maneuver in that
(57:19):
way.
Family goal wise, I plan well,now that my son is 18, and he's
going to be graduating, I planto do a little bit more
traveling, going to moreconcerts and enjoying life.
They can either get on board orthey don't.
I do want to go back to Sundaydinners because, with them being
(57:42):
older, I want them to havesomething to come back to and
just share and just have amoment that we used to have,
like right now I can cook, andthen sometimes I don't cook.
It's like, oh, fast, food it up, but I think that, you know,
creating the atmosphere back asto a one unit is something that
I'm really trying to moveforward to, and, as far as my
(58:03):
business, I am really and trulythinking about just taking a
break while I'm in school.
If I come back strong, I comeback strong.
The one thing about businessesis that the more you talk about
yourself, you keep yourself in alimelight, and I haven't been
talking about myself lately, soit's been real interesting to
(58:25):
see that people are stillreaching out and connecting with
me, even though I haven'tadvertised I haven't, I don't
have a social media for mybusiness right now.
I've been basically letting goa little bit by little bit, but
the only reason why I'm doing itright now is I'm in transition.
I just turned 40 and well, inApril I turned 40.
And, health wise, I've beentaking a little bit of a turn
(58:47):
because I'm always on the go.
So just taking more time outfor myself, enjoying life and
doing things my way for change,that's my direction and that's
what I look forward to right now.
Speaker 1 (59:03):
Okay, and do you think life experience has
brought you to this point anddoing things your way?
Or do you feel like, becauseyour kids are older, now you can
kind of explore a little bitmore on your own?
Speaker 2 (59:18):
Both.
Life has made me definitely sayto myself you've always catered
to other people, even when youdidn't want to cater, and life
is also telling me that youdon't have to cater as much
because they should beself-sufficient if you did what
you did, if you did what youwere supposed to do.
(59:38):
So I put myself on a bad burnerwith a lot of things and now I
just feel like why should I now?
Like there's no reason to?
You know, I'm good.
Speaker 1 (59:54):
Okay, I like that, I love that actually I hear a lot
of moms who put themselves onthe back burner for the sake of
family, kids, marriage andthings like that.
So it's awesome to hear thatnow you feel like you can pass
(01:00:15):
the baton to them and let themkind of carry the torch a little
bit and you're not completelyjust throwing them out in the
streets on their own because youknow they're 18 and 20.
It sounds like you're stillguiding them and doing some hand
holding, but you've affordedyourself the opportunity to have
enough freedom to tap back intoyourself, and I feel like a lot
(01:00:40):
of moms know that that'ssomething that needs to be done,
but a lot of the times theydon't know how to do it or what
that looks like, or when to doit, or how to be about
themselves and still care fortheir family.
So it's nice to hear that wehave someone here who's kind of
(01:01:05):
striking the balance, becauseyou're still present, you're
still mom, you still have a wayof factoring in that quality
time with your family, but nowyou can really take care of
yourself, and I feel like a lotof moms need that, but there
(01:01:25):
aren't a lot of sources orresources out there to help you
do that.
And then you've also touched ona huge part which I always talk
about in every episode thefinancial piece, because I feel
like social media will put outso many things that have you
(01:01:47):
just thinking about motherhoodand self care and self help and
all of these different resources, but it becomes so expensive
and I feel like you have givenus so many ideas and so many
creative ways to be resourcefuland work with what you have to
(01:02:10):
get your kids where they need tobe, to get your family where it
needs to be, and it sounds likenobody's suffering, nobody's
missing out on anything.
You have afforded your familywas so many invaluable
experiences that they're goingto be able to take with them.
(01:02:31):
So thank you so much.
I think that is so amazing whatyou were doing, and I had no
idea the things that you doentail so much.
So thank you so much for justgiving more insight, sharing
your story on this platform, andjust thank you for your time.
I I this was awesome.
(01:02:52):
I know we did a differentformat.
I think this was successful.
I'm so happy with theinformation that we gather, and
I'm just looking forward to justseeing what comes next for you
and what you was in store foryou.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
I appreciate you having me and I look forward to
more for shitty moms episodes,because it's awesome, because,
you know, different experiencesafford you different
opportunities to grow and I'mokay with that.
I'm definitely okay with that.
It's an open platform that, Ithink, is awesome for a lot of
(01:03:30):
moms.
We, we cry in silence and thisis kind of like our way of
saying, hey, yeah, we're crying,but we are okay now and you
know, someone else is there withme and it's okay, because we
realize that we're a communityall in our in our own self.
So, yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Keep doing what you're doing too, thank you, and
power yourself.
You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Thank you so much.
All right, have a good one.
Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
Thank you, you too, bye, bye.
Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Hey, everyone is your favorite BCB AD here, dr
DeLoren, and I'm here to ask youto help us continue making
great content for listenerseverywhere by visiting
www.4shittymomscom, where youcan make a monthly contribution.
Also visit us on Instagram,youtube, facebook and TikTok at
(01:04:23):
4 shitty moms and that shittywith an X, not an.
I Thank you.
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