May 3, 2025 • 25 mins
The rollercoaster of parenthood hits different when you're watching your children approach major life transitions. In this raw, unfiltered episode, I dive deep into the emotional whirlwind of having my son graduate high school while my daughter prepares to enter the jungle of middle school.
What happens when our children reach these pivotal moments, and we suddenly realize just how unprepared they might be for what's coming next? I share the text from my son that stopped me in my tracks: "Dad, I don't know what I'm going to do." After 12 years of structured education, many young adults feel completely lost about their next move—a feeling I remember all too well from my own graduation.
Parenthood comes with horror stories that keep us up at night. From shocking teenage behaviors to predatory adults targeting our children, the world can feel like a horror movie that our kids are walking into unprepared. But through these fears, we must remember our crucial role: teaching our children that failure isn't fatal—it's formative.
The sun doesn't shine every day for a reason. Rain is necessary for growth. Similarly, our children need both successes and failures to develop resilience and character. As parents, we can't prevent every hardship, but we can teach them how to stand back up, dust themselves off, and move forward with the wisdom gained from each fall.
Life is a chessboard requiring strategy, foresight, and adaptability. Some of us start as pawns but can evolve into more powerful pieces through experience and learning. Are you teaching your children to play checkers, reacting to one move at a time, or chess—thinking several moves ahead?
Tune in for an honest conversation about navigating parenthood's most challenging transitions and preparing our children for a world that won't always be sunshine and rainbows. Because sometimes the most important parenting happens when we let our children face the rain.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, we recording.
Okay, let me get ready, let meget ready, let me get ready.
Hey, I just want to tell you tosit down and watch a
step-by-step and welcome to FauxSteps.
Only I'm Jack.
Oh, I got to get motivated thismorning.
Shit, it's dreary, it's raining, shit.
(00:21):
I had to ask my own self andtalk to my own self Do I really
feel like recording?
Do y'all really feel likelistening?
Shit, I don't know and reallydon't care, because I mean,
steppers do what the steppers do.
We step when all the odds areagainst us.
So I got this dilemma.
So I was told the other day,sent a text message From my
(00:43):
daughter's mom and she told mehey, tink's graduation is next
week.
I'm like what?
Oh, I'm sorry, not next week,but you know, in may.
And I'm like, what's shegraduating from?
Because I know I got my oldestson.
He's graduating from highschool.
If y'all only knew the trialsand tribulations that we went
through to get to that point,it's, it's a long story, and you
(01:04):
got to know me, to know me, tounderstand the trials and
tribulations that we wentthrough to get to that point.
It's, it's a long story, andyou got to know me, to know me,
to understand the trials andtribulations that we went
through, um, from him not livingin my house to him now living
with me and me being a singlefather.
Um, but she's telling me thatmy baby going to the sixth grade
she going to what?
(01:25):
And?
And the fucked up part thatwent through my mind is all the
bullshit I was exposed to when Iwent to middle school.
You know what I'm saying.
So, and my partners andeverybody, you know they got
girl, little girls, that areeither in that age bracket or
they got little boys.
(01:45):
Man, you know we texting backand forth and I'm thinking.
I keep thinking I'm gonna haveto goddamn, fuck somebody son up
.
I mean I got boys, but I meanboys are different.
I'm gonna have to.
I'm gonna have to fuck somebodyup for trying my daughter in
(02:06):
that type of way or in that typeof light, because I hear some
horror stories all the time.
Man, I told my mama hearinghorror stories, like one of my
partners called me, freaking outbecause his stepdaughter got
down, got caught in the bathroomwith two boys while she was on
her knees.
Who, what the fuck are youdoing in high school on your
(02:28):
knees in the bathroom with twoboys standing on each side of
you, what you about to do, Imean I.
I mean I have an idea what youfinna do, but I mean I ain't
trying.
I ain't trying to go therethinking about some jit, some
some child, but it's it's.
It's, it's scary, and I likehorror movies.
I cannot compare my life to ahorror movie.
(02:48):
That is scary to even think mydaughter is about to be exposed
to bullshit like that and underpeer pressure and shit.
Then I hear other horror stories, like the other day, me and my
partner chilling.
He called me on the phone Bro,what's up?
(03:09):
Man, bro, you won't believewhat the fuck I just heard.
I said what you just hear, mangod, now let's keep it straight,
keep it pimping, bro.
So you know, when my littlegoddamn whoop, whoops, you know
she took her daughter to thegoddamn, you know, to the little
clinic and shit, I'm like, okay, thank you, she had a little
sore throat or some shit.
She was sick.
She's been sick for about twomonths, you know, shit like that
(03:31):
.
I said okay, take shit, takeshit, bruh.
And then this story took a wildfucking turn.
So tell me why they get theresults back.
The doctor looked at the littlegirl.
So the first thing she said todo the doctor said was oh shit,
(03:52):
oh man, this don't look like uhstrep throat.
She said what you mean?
This shit got bumps andblisters on it.
She said what hell?
Yeah, you got bumps andblisters.
She's like oh my god, my babygot something serious.
Oh my god, what, what is itsevere?
Is it what?
What?
What?
You know, she thinking likenormal parents do like shit.
(04:16):
Okay, she'll be all right.
She got a little goddamn virus.
She gotta be on iv fluids, shegotta go to the specialist, some
shit like that.
Nah, motherfucker, nahmotherfucker.
So tell me why they talkingabout the damn sore throat been
going on for two months, two orthree months.
(04:38):
They talking about the littlegirl got chlamydia in the
esophagus.
The chlamydia in the esophagus,the chlamydia, the clap that
oof, oof and it's like how doyou digest that as a parent?
How do you make that twerk inyour brain as a fucking parent,
(05:01):
brain as a fucking parent?
Then you hear other hardstories where, like these
goddamn chest of chest of childmolesters out here and they got
them swooping down on theseyoung girls and the little girl
might be, we'll say 13, thenigga about 30, bro.
(05:22):
I had to tell somebody the otherday, bro, that happened to my
daughter, or some shit like that.
You can just go ahead and putme in the goddamn thing, because
that's all shit I'm.
I'm being there for attemptedmurder because I know, already
know what you're trying to getout.
My daughter and you, nasty,ain't no telling what you fuck
you trying to put in her head,what you're trying to swing,
swing to her to do this, thatand the third.
But it's, and we know when youdare trying to manipulate and
(05:47):
trying to take advantage of thesituation.
Because, like I tell people allthe time, just by a brief
conversation you can tell theage and mental capacity certain
people are on and people don'tget that.
You can, you man, I don't givea fuck if you got them 16 or 30.
You can have a conversationwith a motherfucker that's got
down 45 to 60.
But you will see what theirmental status is, you will see
(06:09):
what their brain functions, thatyou will see if they dumb,
stupid, retarded or they lickwindows on weekends.
That's all I'm saying.
It doesn't matter on a sexagenda, but you can see what
they've been exposed to, whattheir growth is and certain
people they've been aroundbecause certain mind frames are
controlled when you're incertain atmospheres.
(06:29):
That's like I tell people allthe time you can tell which
environments you're comfortablein because of the way people
interact.
Um, my father, thank you, thankgod, his soul, god rest his
soul.
Um, he told me that when you'rein certain environments that
you have to blend, that you haveto do these things to whatever,
(06:51):
whatever.
Whatever, so it is is is trying, because sometimes people will
look at me and say, oh, youcountry is here.
People will look at me and say,oh, you country is hell.
(07:25):
But then I tell them, well, how?
So?
How am I country?
I'm just wondering, because Ican switch my vocal patterns to
where I am actually veryintelligent, to where I can
interact with you in this light,because it depends on who I'm
talking to and what comfort zoneI'm in to switch it up, because
a lot of people think that,just because you talk a certain
way, that you're uneducated oryou're illiterate or you don't
have high school education thatyou are requiring.
Do, because a lot of peoplebased off a poem, product of my
environment.
Because if y'all can't say, Ican switch up depending on which
(07:45):
environment I'm in, um, which alot of people fail to realize.
But back to this wholegraduation thing, and it's it's
like, oh my god, I'm about tohave one that's going to sixth
grade and I'm about to have onethat's transitioning out of high
school, which is he'sgraduating, which I'm so proud
(08:06):
of him.
If y'all, if y'all don't knowhow proud I am as a father to
see this to happen, it's amazing, because this ain't been no
easy road.
I go ahead and tell you me andhim bump heads a lot, a lot, a
lot, a lot.
But it's like I texted himyesterday.
(08:28):
I said, damn, dude, I just gotan email saying that you're
graduating and I already knewthat you were, but this is
Confirmation.
He said, yeah, dad, but I don'tknow what I'm going to do.
I said what you mean?
I said, well, man, you need totalk, sit down and talk and
figure this out.
Because he said, I don't knowwhat my next steps are, because
(08:50):
school has taken so much of mylife and now I'm not about to
have that aspect.
What do I do?
I said we're going to have tosit down and talk about it
because, honestly, I didn't knowwhat I was going to do when I
left high school.
Most people have this shitfigured out.
Man, I ain't know what the fuckwas going on.
(09:11):
I think my mother was justhappy just to see me graduate,
because it's like crisis averted, he ain't drop out.
He graduated, he got what thefuck he had to get and now we're
on to a better life.
But it's like now.
I don't want to see my kidslost out here because, like I
tell people all the time um,people tell you that when you're
(09:33):
18, that you're grown, you'rean adult man.
I felt like a fucking infant inthis fucking world.
I didn't know shit.
I didn't know what the fuck wasgoing on.
I had got my first job and I'mjust working, my ass off, just
working, and I didn't haveanybody to tell me this, ain't
(09:54):
it?
This is what you want to do forthe rest of your life?
I didn't have those people inmy life to understand.
Your first job is usually abullshit job to get you
introduced to the workforce, toget you to understand where you
have to be to be a productivemember in a society.
But this is just a startingblock.
(10:14):
Instead of you build on thisand you still try to find
yourself in these aspects onthis, and you still try to find
yourself in these aspects.
And when you look back atschool, a lot of things that
these kids are offered now, um,weren't offered.
Where I went to school, likeyou told my motherfuckers
getting offered accounting,engineering, uh, marketing, uh,
(10:36):
man, I got offered how tofucking bake a fucking cake and
I still don't know how to bake afucking cake.
Man, I tried to bake cookiesthe other day.
Them bitches came out lookinglike brownies.
But just to get back on thesubject, it's like they're
getting placed through thesetools and these resources that a
lot of times they don'tunderstand how to take advantage
of those things and how to putthemselves in position to win
(10:59):
and to build upon that.
It is scary because that's whatparents are for.
But a lot of people saying thisbecause you can birth them
makes you a parent.
No, it really don't, because Iknow some trash-ass parents.
I know some ain't shit-assparents and it's the ones that
actually try.
Because you can give up on achild, you can pass them off on
(11:21):
somebody else.
Them pass them off on somebodyelse, you can pawn them off on
somebody else, but it's thoseones that struggle every day to
make sure the lights stay on,there's food in the fridge, they
have a comfortable place tolive, they have no worries,
except for what their main goalis or the tools and resources
they are to grow as a humanbeing.
To understand that they have,like you're going to get your
(11:41):
dick knocked in the dirt To thepoint where you got to learn how
to stand back up, because thoseparents are put in those places
to teach you how to grow up.
Teach you how to stand back up.
Because don't get this twist,don't get this misconstrued A
parent does not have to be yourbiological parent, because my
father told me a long time agowhich is not my biological
(12:03):
father.
He was the person that picked upthe pieces where my father
never wanted to be there, so hewanted to see me grow and be
more productive.
So look at this this is whatI'm saying.
It could be my uncle, it couldbe my, my aunt, my grandmother,
(12:26):
my mother, my sister, my brother.
Anybody, anybody placed in yourlife, can take the role as a
parent, but it's the, it's the,it's the methodology and the
tools that they give you to besuccessful.
Because, like I tell people allthe time.
The biggest thing about being aparent is you got to tell them
(12:48):
it's okay to fail.
It's okay, but as long as youfail and you learn from it,
because a loss is never a loss.
It's called a lesson for areason Because you have to learn
how to grow from that situation.
You have to build from thatsituation.
You have to put yourself in abetter position than you were in
yesterday, um, and you have tobe encouraging, because
(13:11):
everything's not going to bedefinite, everything's not going
to be concrete.
Sometimes you got to give themlike a lot of times, like I
thought that you could you.
It's frustrating to you becausethey don't want to listen, but
guess what you got to do?
Let them learn.
I mean, god forbid, they'regoing to fail, they're going to
learn.
Either they're going to do itthe right way, the wrong way.
(13:32):
It might be the wrong way inyour eyes, but it might be the
right way in theirs, but itmight still succeed.
They might not fail, but thebest teacher in life is failure.
So where do you go from there?
You have to allow them to grow,because if you don't learn from
(13:52):
your mistakes, you will nevergrow as an individual in society
.
And people fail to realize this.
Like I tell people all the timelike it's, it's, it's
throughout.
Without experiences, you don'tlearn to grow.
Because, like people ask me allthe time how did I learn that I
like doing certain jobs?
(14:14):
How did I not learn like Ididn't like this situation?
Shit, I had to go through it, Ihad to suck it up.
I learned that I don't likeworking in plants.
That fucking shit is fuckingass.
That shit ain't for me, thatshit is not for fucking me.
I said because I mean I workedat one place I thought the
fucking uh, managers werefucking retarded, because I mean
(14:36):
shit, you, you, um, because Imean I'll tell you a situation.
We were working blah, blah,shit.
Somebody had just got.
This dude came in working allthe fucking time, hard as fuck,
never had a fucking plane.
This motherfucker never waslate, always on time.
He fucking around and hit afucking pole on a forklift boom.
Didn't fuck up the forklift,but he fucked the shit out that
(14:58):
goddamn pole.
You hear me.
Next thing, you know they tookhim to the place.
He popped positive for meth.
He was the hardest workingmotherfucker in that plant.
Do I condone him doing meth?
No, but everybody has differentband-aids for their traumas.
They have different things fortheir their aches and pains.
(15:19):
They they self-medicate a lotof times.
Some people do it with meth,some people do it with marijuana
, some two people do it withretail therapy, some people do
it with different vices in theirlife.
Um, but lo and behold, somebodyelse had an accident on a
property.
So these motherfuckers got thebright idea to drug test the
(15:42):
entire fucking plant, the entirefucking plant.
So say.
They had 60 workers in theplant, motherfucking goddamn 25
of them bitches just poppositive for goddamn drugs.
So these motherfuckers startedpanicking because this now has
(16:04):
made the entire staff short.
You can't just, I mean.
And now you want to.
You you're in full panic modeand and you want to send
everybody to rehab saying it oh,you can't, you can't do this,
you can't do that, you can't dothat now because according to
your policy and procedure, it'sa zero tolerance campus.
So what do you do now?
(16:25):
What do you do?
Because now your workforce hasdiminished, your, your constant
rate, like your production rate,has decreased.
Now you got to tell yourclients you got, you got longer
deadlines.
What do you do?
These motherfuckers came back,said, oh, we will never drug
(16:45):
test the entire plant again.
Oh, I forgot to say they foundan eight ball of meth in a pipe
somewhere on the floor in thefacility.
So that's that's what happened,um, but that shit was wild.
Back then, when I was working inthat plant, though, I mean, I
walked out one day, you know,just for a little break, and I
(17:07):
saw somebody getting ate outbehind the guy that, like like
shot, it was spread out on thepicnic table.
Getting ate out just in theopen, um, with drugs about.
As a result of it, I don't know, not my judgment, only thing I
ain't say nothing.
I ain't say nothing.
I just turned around and walkedoff opposite direction because,
lo and behold, that is not mybusiness, shawty, hey you, hey,
(17:31):
y'all.
Y'all doing whatever y'all wantto do and y'all break.
I ain't finna do it, becauseain't no time telling what kind
of worms or spiders or creepycrawlers crawling up in it or
crawling up out of it, but y'alldoing you.
Not my judgment, not my problem.
I'm not y'all's boss, y'all dowhatever y'all got to do to
(17:51):
relax.
No judgment here.
I just got to fuck on becausethere's certain things that you
got to realize in life.
Everybody.
Hey, your lane is your lanesomething.
Everything ain't got to be told, everything ain't got to be
seen.
Hey, like I told somebody oneday, that's your business, I
(18:12):
ain't got shit to do with it.
They don't pay me no extra totell on you.
They ain't giving no bonusesfor how many niggas I snitch on.
I don't give a fuck.
Not my problem, not concerned.
All I can know is what the fuckis going on with me.
As long as it don't affect me,it don't concern me.
Um, like, I don't give a fuck.
Who you fucking?
Who you sleeping with?
Who pissing on you?
(18:33):
Who, goddamn, who's stealingmoney from?
I ain't got no concerns with it.
That ain't none of mymotherfucking business.
But it's just like in life.
What do we tell these kids?
Certain situations you're goingto be thrown in that you will
have zero control over, zeroeffect, zero gripes, zero
(19:01):
information on.
And they just got to play outthe way they play out, because
everyone like.
It's just like playing cards.
You don't know the hand thatyou're dealt.
You just got to make it workwith whatever you're dealt.
That's why I like Uno so good,that's why I like Spade so good,
that's why I like Tonk or weshooting crap, 7-11, 2-3-12.
(19:26):
Because you don't know what theroll of dice going to throw you.
You just got to either take iton the chin and take it as a
loss or take it as a win, or youkeep rolling them dice until
you hit, or you keep playingyour spades until you got.
Now you, you went.
You go for wins.
Sometimes your biggest wins areyour biggest losses, and you
(19:46):
just got to understand.
It's all about a scale.
Sometimes you just got to learn.
Go through, go through thebullshit, just to learn.
And that's what we got to tellour kids.
Everything, everything ain'tgonna be sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes something's gonna bebullshit and bullshit and
bullshit.
(20:07):
No matter which way you paintit, no matter which way it comes
, it's going to be bullshit.
Because, as you, as they say,man, they wonder why the sun
don't shine everyday.
Why doesn't the sun shineeveryday?
Because you got to have timeFor it to rest.
(20:27):
Sometimes it's going to begloomy.
You got to have rain To makeshit grow.
You got to have rain to makeshit grow.
You got to have water.
And if you always had sunshine,every day, shit things will
wither up.
Things wouldn't have time torest, things wouldn't have to be
re-evaluated.
You wouldn't have to take astep back to re-evaluate your
(20:50):
situation, because a lot oftimes people don't do that.
They don't take the good withthe bad, they don't take the
ugly with the sad, they justtake it as they take it and they
don't know how to, you know,play chess and never checkers.
They don't understand everybodycan't be a pawn all the time.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their rook.
Some people got to elevate tothe time.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their rook.
(21:12):
Some people got to elevate tobecome their bishop.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their queen.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their king.
Because everybody cannot be apawn, because, well, I'm sorry,
let me refrain that Everybodycan't be a king or queen or rook
or bishop.
Because you got to know how tomaneuver on the chessboard and
(21:34):
you got to understand certainmoves you can make and certain
moves you can't make.
But it's about strategy, it'sabout life, and life is a
humbling motherfucker.
Like I tell people all the time, life's a bitch.
You just got to learn which wayto fuck her.
And a lot of people don'tunderstand that concept and that
(22:00):
drive and that motivation andwhere that headspace comes from,
because they're so focused onoh my God, I just fucked up
again.
I just fucked up again.
Yeah, you might have fucked up,but how do you stand back up?
Fucked up again.
I just fucked up again.
Yeah, you might have fucked up,but how do you stand back up?
How do you change that coinfrom a negative to a positive,
to where now you're in a bettersituation because of that fuck
up?
Because, hell, like I tellpeople all the time, my shit I
(22:22):
done, lost jobs.
I done had to move jobs.
I had to eat shit because myjob wasn't paying enough.
So I had to go do some bullshitto make sure, like, go do a job
I didn't want to do, just tomake sure shit was rolling in,
bills were getting paid.
So you got to take that prideand put it to the side and just,
(22:45):
you know, do some shit for thetime being, just to say it's
going to be okay, it's going tobe all right.
This is where we get, this iswhere we move, this is where our
journey is taking us.
We're not going to be hereforever.
We're going to be makingprogression.
We're going to be makingprogress and a lot of people
(23:05):
fail to realize that and theydon't know where the hell it's
going, because they just feellike doors are closing, walls
are closing in, they can'tbreathe, they suffering, ok,
shit, like I said, it ain'tgoing to shine forever.
That's like when my partnersasked me the other day hey bro,
shit, if you catch a win at thewin, at the win, do you expect
(23:26):
the downfall?
No, because life is a rollercoaster.
You're going to have its ups,you're going to have its downs.
Coaster, you're gonna have itsups, you're gonna have its downs
, you're gonna have its lefts,you're gonna have its rights,
you're gonna have its spirals,you're gonna have its like.
You're gonna have its stops andgoes, you're gonna have this,
you're gonna have shit thathappens.
But it's all about how you playthat bitch, like a chessboard
(23:47):
to where you make your next moveand where you make your next
play, because you can't thinkabout the here and now.
You always got to plan for thefuture, like they say with chess
.
You got to plan two steps ahead, three steps ahead, four steps
ahead, and that's all for ustoday, here, on Four Steps, only
(24:08):
we out.
Peace.
We'll see you next time, oh, oh.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, we recording.
Okay, let me get ready, let meget ready, let me get ready.
Hey, I just want to tell you tosit down and watch a
step-by-step and welcome to FauxSteps.
Only I'm Jack.
Oh, I got to get motivated thismorning.
Shit, it's dreary, it's raining, shit.
(00:21):
I had to ask my own self andtalk to my own self Do I really
feel like recording?
Do y'all really feel likelistening?
Shit, I don't know and reallydon't care, because I mean,
steppers do what the steppers do.
We step when all the odds areagainst us.
So I got this dilemma.
So I was told the other day,sent a text message From my
(00:43):
daughter's mom and she told mehey, tink's graduation is next
week.
I'm like what?
Oh, I'm sorry, not next week,but you know, in may.
And I'm like, what's shegraduating from?
Because I know I got my oldestson.
He's graduating from highschool.
If y'all only knew the trialsand tribulations that we went
through to get to that point,it's, it's a long story, and you
(01:04):
got to know me, to know me, tounderstand the trials and
tribulations that we wentthrough to get to that point.
It's, it's a long story, andyou got to know me, to know me,
to understand the trials andtribulations that we went
through, um, from him not livingin my house to him now living
with me and me being a singlefather.
Um, but she's telling me thatmy baby going to the sixth grade
she going to what?
(01:25):
And?
And the fucked up part thatwent through my mind is all the
bullshit I was exposed to when Iwent to middle school.
You know what I'm saying.
So, and my partners andeverybody, you know they got
girl, little girls, that areeither in that age bracket or
they got little boys.
(01:45):
Man, you know we texting backand forth and I'm thinking.
I keep thinking I'm gonna haveto goddamn, fuck somebody son up
.
I mean I got boys, but I meanboys are different.
I'm gonna have to.
I'm gonna have to fuck somebodyup for trying my daughter in
(02:06):
that type of way or in that typeof light, because I hear some
horror stories all the time.
Man, I told my mama hearinghorror stories, like one of my
partners called me, freaking outbecause his stepdaughter got
down, got caught in the bathroomwith two boys while she was on
her knees.
Who, what the fuck are youdoing in high school on your
(02:28):
knees in the bathroom with twoboys standing on each side of
you, what you about to do, Imean I.
I mean I have an idea what youfinna do, but I mean I ain't
trying.
I ain't trying to go therethinking about some jit, some
some child, but it's it's.
It's, it's scary, and I likehorror movies.
I cannot compare my life to ahorror movie.
(02:48):
That is scary to even think mydaughter is about to be exposed
to bullshit like that and underpeer pressure and shit.
Then I hear other horror stories, like the other day, me and my
partner chilling.
He called me on the phone Bro,what's up?
(03:09):
Man, bro, you won't believewhat the fuck I just heard.
I said what you just hear, mangod, now let's keep it straight,
keep it pimping, bro.
So you know, when my littlegoddamn whoop, whoops, you know
she took her daughter to thegoddamn, you know, to the little
clinic and shit, I'm like, okay, thank you, she had a little
sore throat or some shit.
She was sick.
She's been sick for about twomonths, you know, shit like that
(03:31):
.
I said okay, take shit, takeshit, bruh.
And then this story took a wildfucking turn.
So tell me why they get theresults back.
The doctor looked at the littlegirl.
So the first thing she said todo the doctor said was oh shit,
(03:52):
oh man, this don't look like uhstrep throat.
She said what you mean?
This shit got bumps andblisters on it.
She said what hell?
Yeah, you got bumps andblisters.
She's like oh my god, my babygot something serious.
Oh my god, what, what is itsevere?
Is it what?
What?
What?
You know, she thinking likenormal parents do like shit.
(04:16):
Okay, she'll be all right.
She got a little goddamn virus.
She gotta be on iv fluids, shegotta go to the specialist, some
shit like that.
Nah, motherfucker, nahmotherfucker.
So tell me why they talkingabout the damn sore throat been
going on for two months, two orthree months.
(04:38):
They talking about the littlegirl got chlamydia in the
esophagus.
The chlamydia in the esophagus,the chlamydia, the clap that
oof, oof and it's like how doyou digest that as a parent?
How do you make that twerk inyour brain as a fucking parent,
(05:01):
brain as a fucking parent?
Then you hear other hardstories where, like these
goddamn chest of chest of childmolesters out here and they got
them swooping down on theseyoung girls and the little girl
might be, we'll say 13, thenigga about 30, bro.
(05:22):
I had to tell somebody the otherday, bro, that happened to my
daughter, or some shit like that.
You can just go ahead and putme in the goddamn thing, because
that's all shit I'm.
I'm being there for attemptedmurder because I know, already
know what you're trying to getout.
My daughter and you, nasty,ain't no telling what you fuck
you trying to put in her head,what you're trying to swing,
swing to her to do this, thatand the third.
But it's, and we know when youdare trying to manipulate and
(05:47):
trying to take advantage of thesituation.
Because, like I tell people allthe time, just by a brief
conversation you can tell theage and mental capacity certain
people are on and people don'tget that.
You can, you man, I don't givea fuck if you got them 16 or 30.
You can have a conversationwith a motherfucker that's got
down 45 to 60.
But you will see what theirmental status is, you will see
(06:09):
what their brain functions, thatyou will see if they dumb,
stupid, retarded or they lickwindows on weekends.
That's all I'm saying.
It doesn't matter on a sexagenda, but you can see what
they've been exposed to, whattheir growth is and certain
people they've been aroundbecause certain mind frames are
controlled when you're incertain atmospheres.
(06:29):
That's like I tell people allthe time you can tell which
environments you're comfortablein because of the way people
interact.
Um, my father, thank you, thankgod, his soul, god rest his
soul.
Um, he told me that when you'rein certain environments that
you have to blend, that you haveto do these things to whatever,
(06:51):
whatever.
Whatever, so it is is is trying, because sometimes people will
look at me and say, oh, youcountry is here.
People will look at me and say,oh, you country is hell.
(07:25):
But then I tell them, well, how?
So?
How am I country?
I'm just wondering, because Ican switch my vocal patterns to
where I am actually veryintelligent, to where I can
interact with you in this light,because it depends on who I'm
talking to and what comfort zoneI'm in to switch it up, because
a lot of people think that,just because you talk a certain
way, that you're uneducated oryou're illiterate or you don't
have high school education thatyou are requiring.
Do, because a lot of peoplebased off a poem, product of my
environment.
Because if y'all can't say, Ican switch up depending on which
(07:45):
environment I'm in, um, which alot of people fail to realize.
But back to this wholegraduation thing, and it's it's
like, oh my god, I'm about tohave one that's going to sixth
grade and I'm about to have onethat's transitioning out of high
school, which is he'sgraduating, which I'm so proud
(08:06):
of him.
If y'all, if y'all don't knowhow proud I am as a father to
see this to happen, it's amazing, because this ain't been no
easy road.
I go ahead and tell you me andhim bump heads a lot, a lot, a
lot, a lot.
But it's like I texted himyesterday.
(08:28):
I said, damn, dude, I just gotan email saying that you're
graduating and I already knewthat you were, but this is
Confirmation.
He said, yeah, dad, but I don'tknow what I'm going to do.
I said what you mean?
I said, well, man, you need totalk, sit down and talk and
figure this out.
Because he said, I don't knowwhat my next steps are, because
(08:50):
school has taken so much of mylife and now I'm not about to
have that aspect.
What do I do?
I said we're going to have tosit down and talk about it
because, honestly, I didn't knowwhat I was going to do when I
left high school.
Most people have this shitfigured out.
Man, I ain't know what the fuckwas going on.
(09:11):
I think my mother was justhappy just to see me graduate,
because it's like crisis averted, he ain't drop out.
He graduated, he got what thefuck he had to get and now we're
on to a better life.
But it's like now.
I don't want to see my kidslost out here because, like I
tell people all the time um,people tell you that when you're
(09:33):
18, that you're grown, you'rean adult man.
I felt like a fucking infant inthis fucking world.
I didn't know shit.
I didn't know what the fuck wasgoing on.
I had got my first job and I'mjust working, my ass off, just
working, and I didn't haveanybody to tell me this, ain't
(09:54):
it?
This is what you want to do forthe rest of your life?
I didn't have those people inmy life to understand.
Your first job is usually abullshit job to get you
introduced to the workforce, toget you to understand where you
have to be to be a productivemember in a society.
But this is just a startingblock.
(10:14):
Instead of you build on thisand you still try to find
yourself in these aspects onthis, and you still try to find
yourself in these aspects.
And when you look back atschool, a lot of things that
these kids are offered now, um,weren't offered.
Where I went to school, likeyou told my motherfuckers
getting offered accounting,engineering, uh, marketing, uh,
(10:36):
man, I got offered how tofucking bake a fucking cake and
I still don't know how to bake afucking cake.
Man, I tried to bake cookiesthe other day.
Them bitches came out lookinglike brownies.
But just to get back on thesubject, it's like they're
getting placed through thesetools and these resources that a
lot of times they don'tunderstand how to take advantage
of those things and how to putthemselves in position to win
(10:59):
and to build upon that.
It is scary because that's whatparents are for.
But a lot of people saying thisbecause you can birth them
makes you a parent.
No, it really don't, because Iknow some trash-ass parents.
I know some ain't shit-assparents and it's the ones that
actually try.
Because you can give up on achild, you can pass them off on
(11:21):
somebody else.
Them pass them off on somebodyelse, you can pawn them off on
somebody else, but it's thoseones that struggle every day to
make sure the lights stay on,there's food in the fridge, they
have a comfortable place tolive, they have no worries,
except for what their main goalis or the tools and resources
they are to grow as a humanbeing.
To understand that they have,like you're going to get your
(11:41):
dick knocked in the dirt To thepoint where you got to learn how
to stand back up, because thoseparents are put in those places
to teach you how to grow up.
Teach you how to stand back up.
Because don't get this twist,don't get this misconstrued A
parent does not have to be yourbiological parent, because my
father told me a long time agowhich is not my biological
(12:03):
father.
He was the person that picked upthe pieces where my father
never wanted to be there, so hewanted to see me grow and be
more productive.
So look at this this is whatI'm saying.
It could be my uncle, it couldbe my, my aunt, my grandmother,
(12:26):
my mother, my sister, my brother.
Anybody, anybody placed in yourlife, can take the role as a
parent, but it's the, it's the,it's the methodology and the
tools that they give you to besuccessful.
Because, like I tell people allthe time.
The biggest thing about being aparent is you got to tell them
(12:48):
it's okay to fail.
It's okay, but as long as youfail and you learn from it,
because a loss is never a loss.
It's called a lesson for areason Because you have to learn
how to grow from that situation.
You have to build from thatsituation.
You have to put yourself in abetter position than you were in
yesterday, um, and you have tobe encouraging, because
(13:11):
everything's not going to bedefinite, everything's not going
to be concrete.
Sometimes you got to give themlike a lot of times, like I
thought that you could you.
It's frustrating to you becausethey don't want to listen, but
guess what you got to do?
Let them learn.
I mean, god forbid, they'regoing to fail, they're going to
learn.
Either they're going to do itthe right way, the wrong way.
(13:32):
It might be the wrong way inyour eyes, but it might be the
right way in theirs, but itmight still succeed.
They might not fail, but thebest teacher in life is failure.
So where do you go from there?
You have to allow them to grow,because if you don't learn from
(13:52):
your mistakes, you will nevergrow as an individual in society
.
And people fail to realize this.
Like I tell people all the timelike it's, it's, it's
throughout.
Without experiences, you don'tlearn to grow.
Because, like people ask me allthe time how did I learn that I
like doing certain jobs?
(14:14):
How did I not learn like Ididn't like this situation?
Shit, I had to go through it, Ihad to suck it up.
I learned that I don't likeworking in plants.
That fucking shit is fuckingass.
That shit ain't for me, thatshit is not for fucking me.
I said because I mean I workedat one place I thought the
fucking uh, managers werefucking retarded, because I mean
(14:36):
shit, you, you, um, because Imean I'll tell you a situation.
We were working blah, blah,shit.
Somebody had just got.
This dude came in working allthe fucking time, hard as fuck,
never had a fucking plane.
This motherfucker never waslate, always on time.
He fucking around and hit afucking pole on a forklift boom.
Didn't fuck up the forklift,but he fucked the shit out that
(14:58):
goddamn pole.
You hear me.
Next thing, you know they tookhim to the place.
He popped positive for meth.
He was the hardest workingmotherfucker in that plant.
Do I condone him doing meth?
No, but everybody has differentband-aids for their traumas.
They have different things fortheir their aches and pains.
(15:19):
They they self-medicate a lotof times.
Some people do it with meth,some people do it with marijuana
, some two people do it withretail therapy, some people do
it with different vices in theirlife.
Um, but lo and behold, somebodyelse had an accident on a
property.
So these motherfuckers got thebright idea to drug test the
(15:42):
entire fucking plant, the entirefucking plant.
So say.
They had 60 workers in theplant, motherfucking goddamn 25
of them bitches just poppositive for goddamn drugs.
So these motherfuckers startedpanicking because this now has
(16:04):
made the entire staff short.
You can't just, I mean.
And now you want to.
You you're in full panic modeand and you want to send
everybody to rehab saying it oh,you can't, you can't do this,
you can't do that, you can't dothat now because according to
your policy and procedure, it'sa zero tolerance campus.
So what do you do now?
(16:25):
What do you do?
Because now your workforce hasdiminished, your, your constant
rate, like your production rate,has decreased.
Now you got to tell yourclients you got, you got longer
deadlines.
What do you do?
These motherfuckers came back,said, oh, we will never drug
(16:45):
test the entire plant again.
Oh, I forgot to say they foundan eight ball of meth in a pipe
somewhere on the floor in thefacility.
So that's that's what happened,um, but that shit was wild.
Back then, when I was working inthat plant, though, I mean, I
walked out one day, you know,just for a little break, and I
(17:07):
saw somebody getting ate outbehind the guy that, like like
shot, it was spread out on thepicnic table.
Getting ate out just in theopen, um, with drugs about.
As a result of it, I don't know, not my judgment, only thing I
ain't say nothing.
I ain't say nothing.
I just turned around and walkedoff opposite direction because,
lo and behold, that is not mybusiness, shawty, hey you, hey,
(17:31):
y'all.
Y'all doing whatever y'all wantto do and y'all break.
I ain't finna do it, becauseain't no time telling what kind
of worms or spiders or creepycrawlers crawling up in it or
crawling up out of it, but y'alldoing you.
Not my judgment, not my problem.
I'm not y'all's boss, y'all dowhatever y'all got to do to
(17:51):
relax.
No judgment here.
I just got to fuck on becausethere's certain things that you
got to realize in life.
Everybody.
Hey, your lane is your lanesomething.
Everything ain't got to be told, everything ain't got to be
seen.
Hey, like I told somebody oneday, that's your business, I
(18:12):
ain't got shit to do with it.
They don't pay me no extra totell on you.
They ain't giving no bonusesfor how many niggas I snitch on.
I don't give a fuck.
Not my problem, not concerned.
All I can know is what the fuckis going on with me.
As long as it don't affect me,it don't concern me.
Um, like, I don't give a fuck.
Who you fucking?
Who you sleeping with?
Who pissing on you?
(18:33):
Who, goddamn, who's stealingmoney from?
I ain't got no concerns with it.
That ain't none of mymotherfucking business.
But it's just like in life.
What do we tell these kids?
Certain situations you're goingto be thrown in that you will
have zero control over, zeroeffect, zero gripes, zero
(19:01):
information on.
And they just got to play outthe way they play out, because
everyone like.
It's just like playing cards.
You don't know the hand thatyou're dealt.
You just got to make it workwith whatever you're dealt.
That's why I like Uno so good,that's why I like Spade so good,
that's why I like Tonk or weshooting crap, 7-11, 2-3-12.
(19:26):
Because you don't know what theroll of dice going to throw you.
You just got to either take iton the chin and take it as a
loss or take it as a win, or youkeep rolling them dice until
you hit, or you keep playingyour spades until you got.
Now you, you went.
You go for wins.
Sometimes your biggest wins areyour biggest losses, and you
(19:46):
just got to understand.
It's all about a scale.
Sometimes you just got to learn.
Go through, go through thebullshit, just to learn.
And that's what we got to tellour kids.
Everything, everything ain'tgonna be sunshine and rainbows.
Sometimes something's gonna bebullshit and bullshit and
bullshit.
(20:07):
No matter which way you paintit, no matter which way it comes
, it's going to be bullshit.
Because, as you, as they say,man, they wonder why the sun
don't shine everyday.
Why doesn't the sun shineeveryday?
Because you got to have timeFor it to rest.
(20:27):
Sometimes it's going to begloomy.
You got to have rain To makeshit grow.
You got to have rain to makeshit grow.
You got to have water.
And if you always had sunshine,every day, shit things will
wither up.
Things wouldn't have time torest, things wouldn't have to be
re-evaluated.
You wouldn't have to take astep back to re-evaluate your
(20:50):
situation, because a lot oftimes people don't do that.
They don't take the good withthe bad, they don't take the
ugly with the sad, they justtake it as they take it and they
don't know how to, you know,play chess and never checkers.
They don't understand everybodycan't be a pawn all the time.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their rook.
Some people got to elevate tothe time.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their rook.
(21:12):
Some people got to elevate tobecome their bishop.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their queen.
Some people got to elevate tobecome their king.
Because everybody cannot be apawn, because, well, I'm sorry,
let me refrain that Everybodycan't be a king or queen or rook
or bishop.
Because you got to know how tomaneuver on the chessboard and
(21:34):
you got to understand certainmoves you can make and certain
moves you can't make.
But it's about strategy, it'sabout life, and life is a
humbling motherfucker.
Like I tell people all the time, life's a bitch.
You just got to learn which wayto fuck her.
And a lot of people don'tunderstand that concept and that
(22:00):
drive and that motivation andwhere that headspace comes from,
because they're so focused onoh my God, I just fucked up
again.
I just fucked up again.
Yeah, you might have fucked up,but how do you stand back up?
Fucked up again.
I just fucked up again.
Yeah, you might have fucked up,but how do you stand back up?
How do you change that coinfrom a negative to a positive,
to where now you're in a bettersituation because of that fuck
up?
Because, hell, like I tellpeople all the time, my shit I
(22:22):
done, lost jobs.
I done had to move jobs.
I had to eat shit because myjob wasn't paying enough.
So I had to go do some bullshitto make sure, like, go do a job
I didn't want to do, just tomake sure shit was rolling in,
bills were getting paid.
So you got to take that prideand put it to the side and just,
(22:45):
you know, do some shit for thetime being, just to say it's
going to be okay, it's going tobe all right.
This is where we get, this iswhere we move, this is where our
journey is taking us.
We're not going to be hereforever.
We're going to be makingprogression.
We're going to be makingprogress and a lot of people
(23:05):
fail to realize that and theydon't know where the hell it's
going, because they just feellike doors are closing, walls
are closing in, they can'tbreathe, they suffering, ok,
shit, like I said, it ain'tgoing to shine forever.
That's like when my partnersasked me the other day hey bro,
shit, if you catch a win at thewin, at the win, do you expect
(23:26):
the downfall?
No, because life is a rollercoaster.
You're going to have its ups,you're going to have its downs.
Coaster, you're gonna have itsups, you're gonna have its downs
, you're gonna have its lefts,you're gonna have its rights,
you're gonna have its spirals,you're gonna have its like.
You're gonna have its stops andgoes, you're gonna have this,
you're gonna have shit thathappens.
But it's all about how you playthat bitch, like a chessboard
(23:47):
to where you make your next moveand where you make your next
play, because you can't thinkabout the here and now.
You always got to plan for thefuture, like they say with chess
.
You got to plan two steps ahead, three steps ahead, four steps
ahead, and that's all for ustoday, here, on Four Steps, only
(24:08):
we out.
Peace.
We'll see you next time, oh, oh.
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