September 17, 2025 • 23 mins
Navigating the complex journey of being an "outside father" requires extraordinary commitment, unconditional love, and raw honesty. This deeply personal episode pulls back the curtain on fatherhood from a distance, revealing both its heartbreaking challenges and profound rewards.
When my daughter called me upset because a boy at school called her unattractive, I responded with straightforward wisdom rather than empty comfort. "Is he attractive?" I asked. When she said no, the lesson was clear: "Then what does his opinion matter?" These moments of unfiltered guidance create the bedrock of trust our children need, especially daughters growing up in a world constantly testing their self-worth.
The distinction between being a biological father and being a true "daddy" forms the emotional core of this conversation. As I learned from my own godfather who told me at my lowest moment, "I'm your daddy, I love you, and I'll love you until the day I die," real fatherhood transcends blood. This powerful truth—that blood doesn't make family, bonds do—shapes how I parent my own children despite the physical distance between us.
Perhaps most gut-wrenching is the reality of temporary time together. When your child looks up with tears saying, "I don't want to go back, daddy, I want to stay with you," there are no perfect words. But through consistent calls, unwavering support, and showing up however possible, we demonstrate that love isn't diminished by distance. For anyone navigating co-parenting, separation from their children, or wondering how to maintain meaningful connections despite physical absence, this raw conversation offers both comfort and practical wisdom.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Ice, motherfuckin' cold.
That boy here, pengu he alittle cold.
Oh my gosh, I'm tired of youplayin' your music.
I need you to play my music,cause I'm so sick and tired of
you playin' your music.
This one for you, tink.
So please, I'm begging you,play my music.
A little linen, a little linen.
(00:35):
Hey, welcome to Fo' Stompers.
Only where we tell you to sitdown and watch a motherfucking
step-by-step.
Hey, I'm that little niggathat's kind of getting
slim-niggled now.
Hey, check me out.
(00:56):
I'm motherfucking Jack.
Hey, I had to do that for mydaughter Because I mean, I got
some daughters, I got somespecial daughters.
I ain't even going to hold you.
I got some special daughters.
Those individuals are sofucking special.
So it's Tink and Dallas, butTink is 12.
(01:22):
Well, she's 11 by the go 12.
So I make sure I call my babyeveryday.
We have conversations.
The way you talk to yourdaughter Is different from the
way I talk to my daughter,because I'd rather me come
straight out to my daughterVersus On some Huggy love, love
(01:47):
type shit, because, like, I goahead and I peep you on some
shit.
So my daughter called me one day.
No, I called her on my way towork one day and we talking on
the phone, my daughter soundssad.
So I was like hey, baby, what'swrong.
What's wrong?
Tink?
No, that is not her real name,but Tink is what I call her.
(02:11):
She's like daddy.
I'm sad.
Baby, why you sad?
Because some little boy told meat school that I wasn't
attractive Before I knew it.
I said baby, is he attractive?
He attractive, daddy, no, he'snot attractive.
I said then, what the fuck doeshis opinion matter?
(02:31):
She bust out laughing.
I said baby, let me go aheadand tell you some shit.
There's some real shit.
The way I had to learn when Iwas older, the folks I thought
that was so attractive in highschool, what aers looking like
bums and crackheads now and Imean a lot of y'all can relate,
because I mean the all-starplayers, the jocks that were
like the epitome of everybody,the top-tier niggas.
(02:53):
Like we already know, we hadtop-tier niggas in school and
everybody was sought out forthem and sought out for the
females and shit like that.
Like I'm going to go ahead andtell you I wasn't no top tier
nigga, but I had to tell my baby, I had to let my baby know that
a lot of people's opinionsain't gonna fucking matter
because I mean shit like I.
(03:14):
I mean like I know one dude Iwent to school with we ain't
gonna say no names, but I caughtthe nigga one day.
I he went on Backstreet Boy.
The nigga looked like his jawsall sunk in face, all sunk in
eyes, all sunk in Boy.
That boy was over there tryingto get a double eye.
I said, oh my God, that boy overhere smoking on a glass dick,
(03:37):
that boy, goddamn, doing thatchoo-choo magoo, that boy over
here, goddamn, I think he'll doit for $20, for some goddamn,
for some goddamn bass.
I mean shit.
If y'all don't know what thehell lingo, I'm talking about
shit.
The nigga was over theresmoking crack.
A double out is a 20 to 20grand.
I'm sorry, a two gram rock thatyou sell for 20.
(03:57):
I mean shit, but that's what hewas on.
And a glass dick is the pipethat they used to soak Smoke out
of, because they suck it sohard that they got down.
Shit.
Look like they suckin dick.
I'm just saying I mean shit.
That's what I get the analogyfor sucking on a glass dick.
You give them a saying, but Ihad to let my baby know hey,
baby, fuck that nigga.
(04:18):
Shit, you got it.
You got a walk in thatmotherfucker like Carlton on
Fresh Prince when he was in thepeacock suit Peacocks, we're
watching down the street,peacocks, like I mean some real
shit, because if I don't tell mybaby to look at this shit, it's
, it's, it's some, it's somebullshit.
In my eyes that's like she wastelling me about some other
(04:40):
little boy talking about somedaddy.
Um, little boy, he, he be, hebe like, he be trying to talk to
every girl at the school andand he just to be like, as soon
as he see a new girl, he's athim.
I said baby, let me go and tellyou some shit.
They're gonna be the firstperson in your grade level to
have an std.
(05:02):
I had to explain to my baby.
I said let me tell yousomething, baby, I'm going to
give you an analogy about somethings we talk about.
We talk about cars, sometimeswe talk about clothes, we try to
hip them on and shit.
You know.
And when I was sitting up theretalking to my daughter, I used
the analogy.
I said hey, baby, let me tellyou something.
Let me tell you something aboutthat little boy.
(05:22):
I said that, baby, let me tellyou something.
Let me tell you something aboutthat little boy.
I said that boy on the hunt,that boy, just he has an idea in
his mind that he has to get hisdick wet.
He has to go hunt this shit out, he has to go search this shit
out.
And in real actuality it's notthat fucking important.
The sustenance in a person ismore important than you just got
damn, getting your pita snitch,your little wet Noodle, the
(05:47):
shit that you still Not dogwater.
You know what I'm saying, butthis is what I had to tell her.
I said let me tell you.
I said how many charges you seeon the road?
She said, daddy, I see a lot.
I said, baby, it don't matterIf it's Hellcat or GT or
whatever.
How many do you see?
I said I see a lot, dad.
Every time I turn around it'sanother charge.
Okay, cool.
(06:07):
I said.
So how many Ferraris andLamborghinis do you see?
She said I don't see too manyof that baby.
I said let me, I'm going to goahead and tell you, babe, the
Ferrari and Lamborghinis is whatyou need to be, because when
you look at it you don't want tobe like them girls that
everybody say, oh, I've beenwith him.
(06:28):
I've been with her, I've beenwith him, I've been with her.
I said ain't nobody know what itis like to kick it with autumn,
ain't nobody knows what itlikes to have a conversation
with autumn?
I mean shit, it's just likethat's the way I had to kick it
to her, because to me I ain'thad them type of talks, I ain't
(06:53):
had that type of vibe with mymama, because my mama was pretty
much the only one there.
I mean, my godfather was thereand my daddy was there, my
uncles were there, but I didn'tget to have those heart-to-heart
conversations.
So I had to learn a lot of shiton my own and like my daughter,
like me and my daughter wereriding and she told me some
(07:13):
daddy play, play whammy.
I said, all right, shit,whatever.
So I'm listening to the lyricsand shit, I'm like shit, she
over here, she over here jammingto this shit.
But I'm thinking back in myprime Shit.
I'm listening to trap shit.
I'm listening to money makingshit and the only thing I can
(07:34):
think in my head Is this her newmoney making shit.
But the only thing I can do isPut the ideals and goals and
give her the right guidance Tomake her make the right
decisions.
But the way I kick it, it can'tbe like that.
Everybody talking aboutsomething and give her the right
guidance to make her make theright decisions, but the way I
kick it, it can't be like that.
Everybody talking aboutsomething, hey, you can't talk
like that man.
Let me tell you something mydaughter tells me, hears me talk
(07:56):
different ways in differentmanners.
Like I tell my daughter all thetime I don't yell too much, but
I'm going to tell you like thishey, I asked you to go do
something, go handle that.
I asked you to go do something,go handle that.
Now, when I raise my voice andI elevate, hey, that's when you
know you done fucked up.
But 90% of the time I ain't gotto yell, I just got to cut my
(08:18):
eyes and look at you a certainway, knowing that you done
fucked up.
Like her mama even tells oh,don't make me call your daddy.
Oh, she tells the teachersdon't let him call your daddy.
Because of the relationship thatwe have with each other,
because the one person that youdon't want to disappoint is me,
because I'm your biggest personin the fan.
(08:39):
I'm going to be thatmotherfucker holding that sign.
I'm going to be thatmotherfucker cheering you on.
I'm going to be themotherfucker there when you get
your lowest.
I'm going to be at the.
I'm going to be thatmotherfucker that's when you at
your highest.
Because, like I tell people,like I had to have a
conversation with my oldest son,I said I said I'm that father
that wants to see you win, nomatter what it takes.
(09:00):
I said, no matter whatsacrifice it takes, takes, I'm
going to be that person thatwants to see you win in life.
Yes, we will fall, yes, we willfumble, but yeah, I want to see
you motherfucking win.
I don't want to see you fail.
So I'm never going to try toscrew you over.
I'm never going to try togoddamn shortcut you because I
(09:20):
want to see you win.
And a lot of people fail torealize that because some people
be getting envious and jealousof their sons and daughters and
shit like that.
Man, I ain't on.
None of that shit.
Man, I'm trying to be ateverything.
I'm trying to be there when youhappy.
I'm trying to be there when yousad, because I know what it's
like not to have somebody therein your corner when you need
(09:44):
them or you don't need.
You have somebody that you goto for guidance that one time
out your life and they ain'tthere.
Then somebody else tells youfuck that, nigga, I'm your daddy
, I love you and I'll never letyou down.
I had somebody do that for mebecause from that day forth, I
(10:06):
realized everything that he wasteaching me all through life was
he was teaching me because hedidn't have a son of his own and
viewed me as his son.
But for all them years I calledhim daddy with no like yeah, he
did this, he did that.
But that day, when I was 23years old, when he said that,
(10:27):
when I was at my motherfuckinglowest and I wanted to crash the
fuck out, he told me fuck that,nigga, I'm your daddy, I love
you, and I love you to the day Idie.
And that's what he did.
He made sure I knew that shit.
So that's what I pass on to mykids and my daughters.
(10:49):
Because let me tell yousomething Blood don't make you
family, and family don't makeyou blood.
It's the bonds that you makewith individuals that make you
family, and family don't makeyou blood.
It's the bonds that you makewith individuals that make you
motherfucking family.
You get what I'm saying becausea lot of people fail to fucking
realize that and they thinkthey're just old.
Nigga, blood thicker than water.
Nigga, that's a motherfuckinglie.
Sometimes, blood the firstthing, that's fuck you over and
(11:10):
screw you over and goddamn andand want to see you fail.
Nigga, just because they blooddon't mean they want to see you
fail.
Nigga, just because they blooddon't mean they want to see you
win.
Just because they gave birth toyou don't mean they want the
best for you.
But that's what I show my kidsevery day.
Because let me tell yousomething, because, like I tell
people all the time, jack,what's your happy place?
(11:31):
I say when I'm having my worstdays, I call my kids, I have
conversations with my kids andthey usually brighten my day,
make my day lighter, help meknow that everything that I'm
doing is worth it, that I knowit's worth it, that it's paying
(11:54):
off, because they see, oh, dad,I see you grinding.
I see you out here hustling.
I see you out here shaking andmoving.
Like I told my daughter, like Ijust got invited to an Indycon
for creators that I'll be on theplatform my first ever Indycon
since doing this platform andI'm gonna be one of the like one
of the featured guests, and Isent that to my daughter.
(12:19):
She said, daddy, I'm so proudof you.
I'm so proud of you.
You show me that, no matterwhat you put your mind to, as
long as you're consistent andlong as you have, like, the
drive behind it and long as youhave the support, you can get
anything accomplished.
As you have the support, youcan get anything accomplished.
I think I said thank you, baby,because when I do certain
things, like man, I try to goagainst the grain.
(12:43):
I mean shit like my.
I'm gonna tell y'all a funnystory.
So my daughter called me up theother day talking about
something.
Daddy, I got my first deathnote.
Bitch, what, uh, what you mean?
You got your motherfuckingfirst death note.
Well, I had what you mean?
You got your motherfuckingfirst death note.
Well, I had to go get mysidekick right there.
Right there, as y'all can see.
That's why he's sitting overthere.
(13:03):
I had to go get my sidekick andshe said want some, daddy, what
you doing?
I said, shit, I'm trying tofigure out who the fuck I'm
finna fuck up.
Then I sent my baby a deathnote.
She said no, baby, no daddy, nodaddy, no daddy death note is
an anime.
Oh you talking about that typeof death note.
Oh, you talking about the onewe watched the other day?
She said yeah, oh, I didn't putthe analogy together.
(13:25):
I thought I was gonna have to goget and see about somebody,
about my baby.
I'm just letting you know.
But my dad, my baby, knows thatthat's how I feel about her
because, like I, like I sent hera picture one day like spin
about you.
That's me and my daughter'ssong, that's our song.
Because my daughter knows, hey,I don't play about her, I don't
(13:50):
play about none of my kids.
Hey, I pop a nigga top for you,baby girl.
I spin this nigga's block foryou, baby girl, because that's
how my daughter knows, that Ifuck with her, that I'm always
going to be there Until the dayI die, like my godfather.
My father was Not my real fatherfuck that nigga but my father,
(14:15):
my daddy, because you can be adad.
Not my real father Fuck thatnigga.
But my father my daddy, becauseyou can be a dad.
I'm sorry, let me break thisshit down for y'all, so y'all
niggas will understand.
You can be a father, but noteverybody can be a daddy.
You get what I'm saying,because a father, can you know,
(14:39):
can bust a nut and get your mamapregnant, or he can do that
little like that turkey base ofshit and get a motherfucker
pregnant, but a daddy wants tosee you win and wants to always
see you, never wants to see youstruggle and and it's
(14:59):
disheartening because a lot ofpeople don't understand that,
can't wrap their heads aroundthat, can't grasp that notion,
because it's a lot of us didn'thave those growing up.
So, like, like, right shit, I'mtrying to learn how to be one
based off the things my daddyshowed me.
(15:22):
Jimmy showed me.
Now whom?
Who?
Now whom Jimmy who showed me,was I the best kid?
Fuck no, but I was a demon.
A demon, you hear me.
(15:45):
But he told me if you're goingto do certain things and move
certain ways, you got to do itthe right way, because there's a
right way to move and there's awrong way to move in life,
because a lot of times, like Itell people all the time, the
loudest one in the room is theweakest, because, man, you can
tell when certain niggas walkinto rooms and certain energies
walk in the room, because theyshake everybody to their soul.
And that's what I tell my kidsall the time.
(16:05):
You ain't got to be the loudest, you ain't got to be the one,
you ain't got to be the goddamn,that nigga.
But you will pop your shit whenyou walk in that motherfucking
room.
You will let niggas know nigga,knock, knock, knock, knock,
knock.
Nigga.
I'm here, you hear me.
And that's what I tell my kids.
You will never take my light,you will never take my aura, you
(16:27):
will never take my glow.
Yeah, people try to do that toyou.
People try to make you feellike you're the biggest piece of
shit.
All this woo, woo, woo, woo.
Good try, good try.
But I know where my heart is, Iknow where my intentions were.
Just because you were on somefuck shit don't mean I have to
entertain that shit.
(16:48):
You get what I'm saying.
But a lot of motherfuckers failto realize how shit's really
supposed to work.
Because I mean shit like, yeah,you can take pictures with your
kids, you can show the dad hisbreakfasts, you can pay a little
child support, but what elseare you doing?
(17:10):
Shit, my kids be having events?
Hey, shit.
If I can't be there, hey,facetime me so I can watch.
But you at work, I don't care,I'm still going to try to
goddamn watch my shit.
I'm going to let my kids knowthat daddy is.
I'm not there physically butI'm watching.
(17:30):
I'm proud of you.
I can't be there because anigga got to work.
A nigga got to eat.
A nigga got to nigga gotta work.
A nigga gotta eat.
A nigga gotta pay bills.
A nigga gotta pay that childsupport.
But Okay, let's go ahead andbreak this shit down.
There's more to being a fatherthan paying a little
Motherfucking child support.
I'm gonna go ahead and telly'all that that shit suck.
I ain't gonna lie.
(17:50):
That shit suck Because the wayI look at child support is I can
do more for my kids off ofchild support than on it.
But once you put me on thatshit to you and you ask me to do
anything, that's all I'm doing.
But my child, hey, baby, whatyou need, you need clothes, I
(18:14):
got you.
You need shoes, I got you, youneed shoes, I got you.
Daddy can't do a lot, but yourmama get child support For you,
for that's supposed to subjugateSome of that shit I can't do.
I don't never want to hear yousay I can't, I ain't got Bitch,
you better got it.
You better have it, becauseit's called child support, not
spouse support, because this isthe catch-22.
(18:42):
When your kids come to spendtime with you, like my kids, I
don't get no fucking monetarycompensation.
I still got to have a roof overtheir head.
I still got to be able to feedthem.
I still got to have a roof overtheir head.
I still got to be able to feedthem.
I still got to make sure thewater's on clothes, lights and
all that shit, and my kids mightbe here two months.
(19:02):
My kids might be here for thesummer.
My kids might be here forThanksgiving.
My kids might be here for theholidays.
My kids might be out forgoddamn Martin Luther King Day.
My kids might be out for anyfucking day School, fucking,
resource day, whatever the fuckyou want to call it.
They're still here.
(19:22):
I don't get no kickbacks, butyou still getting that.
So when you going to thatschool break and you got
whatever, whatever shit, that'swhat you got.
Oh and, by the way, y'all I'mdrinking beet juice and apples
shit.
You got to be a man out therethat know what beet juice and
apples, apple juice does, andI'm about to go eat my ruby red
grapefruits in a second, if youknow, you know, if you know, you
(19:44):
know.
But anyway, but that's whatpeople fail to realize,
regardless of how much childsupport I pay.
When that baby, when thatdaughter or son comes to you and
they look at you and say, daddy, I want, I need my birthday's
coming up, you better bust yourass and make sure you get them
(20:04):
something.
Something, because you gottaunderstand that you don't wanna
be like no bum ass nigga.
Because, let me tell yousomething, I had to go through
that shit At one point in time.
They painted me out to be likeno bum ass nigga.
Because, let me tell yousomething, I had to go through
that shit At one point in time.
They painted me out to be theworst motherfucking person in
the world and they tried to saythat I wasn't doing shit, I
(20:25):
wasn't paying shit.
Blah, blah, blah.
Even though you were getting achunk a month, and this didn't
come from the mother's mouth, itcame from my kid's mouth.
Oh, you ain't never did shitfor me, blah, blah.
But what are you talking about?
(20:46):
I'm paying every month,faithfully.
I'm going broke some months,I'm having to work overtime just
to make sure you get that andmy lights don't get turned off
you get before I even get.
So what are you talking about?
It's the fucked up notion thatkids don't know it because
(21:09):
parents don't tell it, because alot of parents thinking that's
their money, they're entitled tothat.
Whatever, I got to salute mymama when I was growing up
Because when I did get, when mydaddy would pay in child support
or whatever Boy, she threw me achunk every month.
(21:32):
What you need some more shoes,you need some more clothes?
There you go.
What this for mama, that's yourmoney.
Daddy sent you.
She let me know.
This nigga sent me money.
I'm sorry, not my daddy, myfather, but that's all he was
doing.
But sometimes to these kids, wedon't tell them behind the
(21:54):
scenes.
Do I think we should At acertain behind the scenes?
Do I think we should at acertain age?
Yes, I think we should, becausea lot of times they're gonna
think that you don't do shit anda lot of these parents ain't
gonna let them know you do shitbecause and and I and I don't
know whether that's right orwrong my opinion, that opinion
that's wrong.
But at a certain age you doneed to inform that child that,
(22:17):
hey, your daddy has been therefor you.
Your daddy made sure thishappened.
This happened.
This happened Even though hewasn't physically in the
household.
He still made sure you had.
And just don't try to picturethe daddy out to be a bum-ass
nigga, because hey, the niggamight actually be trying.
Be a bum ass nigga because, hey, the nigga might actually be
(22:38):
trying, he might not be able tosee his kids as much as you want
to.
Because you got to understandthat child support kick you in
the dick.
Because, like I was explainingto somebody the other day that,
um, one of my partners he wastalking about leaving his old
lady and they got a child I said, bro, let me tell you something
the hardest thing you will everdo in life is be an outside
father.
Because now you got to playdouble duty.
Now the only time you're goingto be able to see your kids is
through facetime phone calls onweekends.
(23:01):
Are you ready to see that?
Because I said it hurts sendingthem back on that last day and
they tell you I don't want to bewith my, I don't want to go
back, dad, I want to stay withyou.
I mean, what do you say?
What do you say to your kidswhen they say I don't want to go
back, daddy, but I want tothank with you.
I mean, what do you say?
What do you say to your kidswhen they say I don't want to go
back there?
But I want to thank you all forlistening to four step was only
(23:23):
we out Peace, Thank you.
Ice, motherfuckin' cold.
That boy here, pengu he alittle cold.
Oh my gosh, I'm tired of youplayin' your music.
I need you to play my music,cause I'm so sick and tired of
you playin' your music.
This one for you, tink.
So please, I'm begging you,play my music.
A little linen, a little linen.
(00:35):
Hey, welcome to Fo' Stompers.
Only where we tell you to sitdown and watch a motherfucking
step-by-step.
Hey, I'm that little niggathat's kind of getting
slim-niggled now.
Hey, check me out.
(00:56):
I'm motherfucking Jack.
Hey, I had to do that for mydaughter Because I mean, I got
some daughters, I got somespecial daughters.
I ain't even going to hold you.
I got some special daughters.
Those individuals are sofucking special.
So it's Tink and Dallas, butTink is 12.
(01:22):
Well, she's 11 by the go 12.
So I make sure I call my babyeveryday.
We have conversations.
The way you talk to yourdaughter Is different from the
way I talk to my daughter,because I'd rather me come
straight out to my daughterVersus On some Huggy love, love
(01:47):
type shit, because, like, I goahead and I peep you on some
shit.
So my daughter called me one day.
No, I called her on my way towork one day and we talking on
the phone, my daughter soundssad.
So I was like hey, baby, what'swrong.
What's wrong?
Tink?
No, that is not her real name,but Tink is what I call her.
(02:11):
She's like daddy.
I'm sad.
Baby, why you sad?
Because some little boy told meat school that I wasn't
attractive Before I knew it.
I said baby, is he attractive?
He attractive, daddy, no, he'snot attractive.
I said then, what the fuck doeshis opinion matter?
(02:31):
She bust out laughing.
I said baby, let me go aheadand tell you some shit.
There's some real shit.
The way I had to learn when Iwas older, the folks I thought
that was so attractive in highschool, what aers looking like
bums and crackheads now and Imean a lot of y'all can relate,
because I mean the all-starplayers, the jocks that were
like the epitome of everybody,the top-tier niggas.
(02:53):
Like we already know, we hadtop-tier niggas in school and
everybody was sought out forthem and sought out for the
females and shit like that.
Like I'm going to go ahead andtell you I wasn't no top tier
nigga, but I had to tell my baby, I had to let my baby know that
a lot of people's opinionsain't gonna fucking matter
because I mean shit like I.
(03:14):
I mean like I know one dude Iwent to school with we ain't
gonna say no names, but I caughtthe nigga one day.
I he went on Backstreet Boy.
The nigga looked like his jawsall sunk in face, all sunk in
eyes, all sunk in Boy.
That boy was over there tryingto get a double eye.
I said, oh my God, that boy overhere smoking on a glass dick,
(03:37):
that boy, goddamn, doing thatchoo-choo magoo, that boy over
here, goddamn, I think he'll doit for $20, for some goddamn,
for some goddamn bass.
I mean shit.
If y'all don't know what thehell lingo, I'm talking about
shit.
The nigga was over theresmoking crack.
A double out is a 20 to 20grand.
I'm sorry, a two gram rock thatyou sell for 20.
(03:57):
I mean shit, but that's what hewas on.
And a glass dick is the pipethat they used to soak Smoke out
of, because they suck it sohard that they got down.
Shit.
Look like they suckin dick.
I'm just saying I mean shit.
That's what I get the analogyfor sucking on a glass dick.
You give them a saying, but Ihad to let my baby know hey,
baby, fuck that nigga.
(04:18):
Shit, you got it.
You got a walk in thatmotherfucker like Carlton on
Fresh Prince when he was in thepeacock suit Peacocks, we're
watching down the street,peacocks, like I mean some real
shit, because if I don't tell mybaby to look at this shit, it's
, it's, it's some, it's somebullshit.
In my eyes that's like she wastelling me about some other
(04:40):
little boy talking about somedaddy.
Um, little boy, he, he be, hebe like, he be trying to talk to
every girl at the school andand he just to be like, as soon
as he see a new girl, he's athim.
I said baby, let me go and tellyou some shit.
They're gonna be the firstperson in your grade level to
have an std.
(05:02):
I had to explain to my baby.
I said let me tell yousomething, baby, I'm going to
give you an analogy about somethings we talk about.
We talk about cars, sometimeswe talk about clothes, we try to
hip them on and shit.
You know.
And when I was sitting up theretalking to my daughter, I used
the analogy.
I said hey, baby, let me tellyou something.
Let me tell you something aboutthat little boy.
(05:22):
I said that, baby, let me tellyou something.
Let me tell you something aboutthat little boy.
I said that boy on the hunt,that boy, just he has an idea in
his mind that he has to get hisdick wet.
He has to go hunt this shit out, he has to go search this shit
out.
And in real actuality it's notthat fucking important.
The sustenance in a person ismore important than you just got
damn, getting your pita snitch,your little wet Noodle, the
(05:47):
shit that you still Not dogwater.
You know what I'm saying, butthis is what I had to tell her.
I said let me tell you.
I said how many charges you seeon the road?
She said, daddy, I see a lot.
I said, baby, it don't matterIf it's Hellcat or GT or
whatever.
How many do you see?
I said I see a lot, dad.
Every time I turn around it'sanother charge.
Okay, cool.
(06:07):
I said.
So how many Ferraris andLamborghinis do you see?
She said I don't see too manyof that baby.
I said let me, I'm going to goahead and tell you, babe, the
Ferrari and Lamborghinis is whatyou need to be, because when
you look at it you don't want tobe like them girls that
everybody say, oh, I've beenwith him.
(06:28):
I've been with her, I've beenwith him, I've been with her.
I said ain't nobody know what itis like to kick it with autumn,
ain't nobody knows what itlikes to have a conversation
with autumn?
I mean shit, it's just likethat's the way I had to kick it
to her, because to me I ain'thad them type of talks, I ain't
(06:53):
had that type of vibe with mymama, because my mama was pretty
much the only one there.
I mean, my godfather was thereand my daddy was there, my
uncles were there, but I didn'tget to have those heart-to-heart
conversations.
So I had to learn a lot of shiton my own and like my daughter,
like me and my daughter wereriding and she told me some
(07:13):
daddy play, play whammy.
I said, all right, shit,whatever.
So I'm listening to the lyricsand shit, I'm like shit, she
over here, she over here jammingto this shit.
But I'm thinking back in myprime Shit.
I'm listening to trap shit.
I'm listening to money makingshit and the only thing I can
(07:34):
think in my head Is this her newmoney making shit.
But the only thing I can do isPut the ideals and goals and
give her the right guidance Tomake her make the right
decisions.
But the way I kick it, it can'tbe like that.
Everybody talking aboutsomething and give her the right
guidance to make her make theright decisions, but the way I
kick it, it can't be like that.
Everybody talking aboutsomething, hey, you can't talk
like that man.
Let me tell you something mydaughter tells me, hears me talk
(07:56):
different ways in differentmanners.
Like I tell my daughter all thetime I don't yell too much, but
I'm going to tell you like thishey, I asked you to go do
something, go handle that.
I asked you to go do something,go handle that.
Now, when I raise my voice andI elevate, hey, that's when you
know you done fucked up.
But 90% of the time I ain't gotto yell, I just got to cut my
(08:18):
eyes and look at you a certainway, knowing that you done
fucked up.
Like her mama even tells oh,don't make me call your daddy.
Oh, she tells the teachersdon't let him call your daddy.
Because of the relationship thatwe have with each other,
because the one person that youdon't want to disappoint is me,
because I'm your biggest personin the fan.
(08:39):
I'm going to be thatmotherfucker holding that sign.
I'm going to be thatmotherfucker cheering you on.
I'm going to be themotherfucker there when you get
your lowest.
I'm going to be at the.
I'm going to be thatmotherfucker that's when you at
your highest.
Because, like I tell people,like I had to have a
conversation with my oldest son,I said I said I'm that father
that wants to see you win, nomatter what it takes.
(09:00):
I said, no matter whatsacrifice it takes, takes, I'm
going to be that person thatwants to see you win in life.
Yes, we will fall, yes, we willfumble, but yeah, I want to see
you motherfucking win.
I don't want to see you fail.
So I'm never going to try toscrew you over.
I'm never going to try togoddamn shortcut you because I
(09:20):
want to see you win.
And a lot of people fail torealize that because some people
be getting envious and jealousof their sons and daughters and
shit like that.
Man, I ain't on.
None of that shit.
Man, I'm trying to be ateverything.
I'm trying to be there when youhappy.
I'm trying to be there when yousad, because I know what it's
like not to have somebody therein your corner when you need
(09:44):
them or you don't need.
You have somebody that you goto for guidance that one time
out your life and they ain'tthere.
Then somebody else tells youfuck that, nigga, I'm your daddy
, I love you and I'll never letyou down.
I had somebody do that for mebecause from that day forth, I
(10:06):
realized everything that he wasteaching me all through life was
he was teaching me because hedidn't have a son of his own and
viewed me as his son.
But for all them years I calledhim daddy with no like yeah, he
did this, he did that.
But that day, when I was 23years old, when he said that,
(10:27):
when I was at my motherfuckinglowest and I wanted to crash the
fuck out, he told me fuck that,nigga, I'm your daddy, I love
you, and I love you to the day Idie.
And that's what he did.
He made sure I knew that shit.
So that's what I pass on to mykids and my daughters.
(10:49):
Because let me tell yousomething Blood don't make you
family, and family don't makeyou blood.
It's the bonds that you makewith individuals that make you
family, and family don't makeyou blood.
It's the bonds that you makewith individuals that make you
motherfucking family.
You get what I'm saying becausea lot of people fail to fucking
realize that and they thinkthey're just old.
Nigga, blood thicker than water.
Nigga, that's a motherfuckinglie.
Sometimes, blood the firstthing, that's fuck you over and
(11:10):
screw you over and goddamn andand want to see you fail.
Nigga, just because they blooddon't mean they want to see you
fail.
Nigga, just because they blooddon't mean they want to see you
win.
Just because they gave birth toyou don't mean they want the
best for you.
But that's what I show my kidsevery day.
Because let me tell yousomething, because, like I tell
people all the time, jack,what's your happy place?
(11:31):
I say when I'm having my worstdays, I call my kids, I have
conversations with my kids andthey usually brighten my day,
make my day lighter, help meknow that everything that I'm
doing is worth it, that I knowit's worth it, that it's paying
(11:54):
off, because they see, oh, dad,I see you grinding.
I see you out here hustling.
I see you out here shaking andmoving.
Like I told my daughter, like Ijust got invited to an Indycon
for creators that I'll be on theplatform my first ever Indycon
since doing this platform andI'm gonna be one of the like one
of the featured guests, and Isent that to my daughter.
(12:19):
She said, daddy, I'm so proudof you.
I'm so proud of you.
You show me that, no matterwhat you put your mind to, as
long as you're consistent andlong as you have, like, the
drive behind it and long as youhave the support, you can get
anything accomplished.
As you have the support, youcan get anything accomplished.
I think I said thank you, baby,because when I do certain
things, like man, I try to goagainst the grain.
(12:43):
I mean shit like my.
I'm gonna tell y'all a funnystory.
So my daughter called me up theother day talking about
something.
Daddy, I got my first deathnote.
Bitch, what, uh, what you mean?
You got your motherfuckingfirst death note.
Well, I had what you mean?
You got your motherfuckingfirst death note.
Well, I had to go get mysidekick right there.
Right there, as y'all can see.
That's why he's sitting overthere.
(13:03):
I had to go get my sidekick andshe said want some, daddy, what
you doing?
I said, shit, I'm trying tofigure out who the fuck I'm
finna fuck up.
Then I sent my baby a deathnote.
She said no, baby, no daddy, nodaddy, no daddy death note is
an anime.
Oh you talking about that typeof death note.
Oh, you talking about the onewe watched the other day?
She said yeah, oh, I didn't putthe analogy together.
(13:25):
I thought I was gonna have to goget and see about somebody,
about my baby.
I'm just letting you know.
But my dad, my baby, knows thatthat's how I feel about her
because, like I, like I sent hera picture one day like spin
about you.
That's me and my daughter'ssong, that's our song.
Because my daughter knows, hey,I don't play about her, I don't
(13:50):
play about none of my kids.
Hey, I pop a nigga top for you,baby girl.
I spin this nigga's block foryou, baby girl, because that's
how my daughter knows, that Ifuck with her, that I'm always
going to be there Until the dayI die, like my godfather.
My father was Not my real fatherfuck that nigga but my father,
(14:15):
my daddy, because you can be adad.
Not my real father Fuck thatnigga.
But my father my daddy, becauseyou can be a dad.
I'm sorry, let me break thisshit down for y'all, so y'all
niggas will understand.
You can be a father, but noteverybody can be a daddy.
You get what I'm saying,because a father, can you know,
(14:39):
can bust a nut and get your mamapregnant, or he can do that
little like that turkey base ofshit and get a motherfucker
pregnant, but a daddy wants tosee you win and wants to always
see you, never wants to see youstruggle and and it's
(14:59):
disheartening because a lot ofpeople don't understand that,
can't wrap their heads aroundthat, can't grasp that notion,
because it's a lot of us didn'thave those growing up.
So, like, like, right shit, I'mtrying to learn how to be one
based off the things my daddyshowed me.
(15:22):
Jimmy showed me.
Now whom?
Who?
Now whom Jimmy who showed me,was I the best kid?
Fuck no, but I was a demon.
A demon, you hear me.
(15:45):
But he told me if you're goingto do certain things and move
certain ways, you got to do itthe right way, because there's a
right way to move and there's awrong way to move in life,
because a lot of times, like Itell people all the time, the
loudest one in the room is theweakest, because, man, you can
tell when certain niggas walkinto rooms and certain energies
walk in the room, because theyshake everybody to their soul.
And that's what I tell my kidsall the time.
(16:05):
You ain't got to be the loudest, you ain't got to be the one,
you ain't got to be the goddamn,that nigga.
But you will pop your shit whenyou walk in that motherfucking
room.
You will let niggas know nigga,knock, knock, knock, knock,
knock.
Nigga.
I'm here, you hear me.
And that's what I tell my kids.
You will never take my light,you will never take my aura, you
(16:27):
will never take my glow.
Yeah, people try to do that toyou.
People try to make you feellike you're the biggest piece of
shit.
All this woo, woo, woo, woo.
Good try, good try.
But I know where my heart is, Iknow where my intentions were.
Just because you were on somefuck shit don't mean I have to
entertain that shit.
(16:48):
You get what I'm saying.
But a lot of motherfuckers failto realize how shit's really
supposed to work.
Because I mean shit like, yeah,you can take pictures with your
kids, you can show the dad hisbreakfasts, you can pay a little
child support, but what elseare you doing?
(17:10):
Shit, my kids be having events?
Hey, shit.
If I can't be there, hey,facetime me so I can watch.
But you at work, I don't care,I'm still going to try to
goddamn watch my shit.
I'm going to let my kids knowthat daddy is.
I'm not there physically butI'm watching.
(17:30):
I'm proud of you.
I can't be there because anigga got to work.
A nigga got to eat.
A nigga got to nigga gotta work.
A nigga gotta eat.
A nigga gotta pay bills.
A nigga gotta pay that childsupport.
But Okay, let's go ahead andbreak this shit down.
There's more to being a fatherthan paying a little
Motherfucking child support.
I'm gonna go ahead and telly'all that that shit suck.
I ain't gonna lie.
(17:50):
That shit suck Because the wayI look at child support is I can
do more for my kids off ofchild support than on it.
But once you put me on thatshit to you and you ask me to do
anything, that's all I'm doing.
But my child, hey, baby, whatyou need, you need clothes, I
(18:14):
got you.
You need shoes, I got you, youneed shoes, I got you.
Daddy can't do a lot, but yourmama get child support For you,
for that's supposed to subjugateSome of that shit I can't do.
I don't never want to hear yousay I can't, I ain't got Bitch,
you better got it.
You better have it, becauseit's called child support, not
spouse support, because this isthe catch-22.
(18:42):
When your kids come to spendtime with you, like my kids, I
don't get no fucking monetarycompensation.
I still got to have a roof overtheir head.
I still got to be able to feedthem.
I still got to have a roof overtheir head.
I still got to be able to feedthem.
I still got to make sure thewater's on clothes, lights and
all that shit, and my kids mightbe here two months.
(19:02):
My kids might be here for thesummer.
My kids might be here forThanksgiving.
My kids might be here for theholidays.
My kids might be out forgoddamn Martin Luther King Day.
My kids might be out for anyfucking day School, fucking,
resource day, whatever the fuckyou want to call it.
They're still here.
(19:22):
I don't get no kickbacks, butyou still getting that.
So when you going to thatschool break and you got
whatever, whatever shit, that'swhat you got.
Oh and, by the way, y'all I'mdrinking beet juice and apples
shit.
You got to be a man out therethat know what beet juice and
apples, apple juice does, andI'm about to go eat my ruby red
grapefruits in a second, if youknow, you know, if you know, you
(19:44):
know.
But anyway, but that's whatpeople fail to realize,
regardless of how much childsupport I pay.
When that baby, when thatdaughter or son comes to you and
they look at you and say, daddy, I want, I need my birthday's
coming up, you better bust yourass and make sure you get them
(20:04):
something.
Something, because you gottaunderstand that you don't wanna
be like no bum ass nigga.
Because, let me tell yousomething, I had to go through
that shit At one point in time.
They painted me out to be likeno bum ass nigga.
Because, let me tell yousomething, I had to go through
that shit At one point in time.
They painted me out to be theworst motherfucking person in
the world and they tried to saythat I wasn't doing shit, I
(20:25):
wasn't paying shit.
Blah, blah, blah.
Even though you were getting achunk a month, and this didn't
come from the mother's mouth, itcame from my kid's mouth.
Oh, you ain't never did shitfor me, blah, blah.
But what are you talking about?
(20:46):
I'm paying every month,faithfully.
I'm going broke some months,I'm having to work overtime just
to make sure you get that andmy lights don't get turned off
you get before I even get.
So what are you talking about?
It's the fucked up notion thatkids don't know it because
(21:09):
parents don't tell it, because alot of parents thinking that's
their money, they're entitled tothat.
Whatever, I got to salute mymama when I was growing up
Because when I did get, when mydaddy would pay in child support
or whatever Boy, she threw me achunk every month.
(21:32):
What you need some more shoes,you need some more clothes?
There you go.
What this for mama, that's yourmoney.
Daddy sent you.
She let me know.
This nigga sent me money.
I'm sorry, not my daddy, myfather, but that's all he was
doing.
But sometimes to these kids, wedon't tell them behind the
(21:54):
scenes.
Do I think we should At acertain behind the scenes?
Do I think we should at acertain age?
Yes, I think we should, becausea lot of times they're gonna
think that you don't do shit anda lot of these parents ain't
gonna let them know you do shitbecause and and I and I don't
know whether that's right orwrong my opinion, that opinion
that's wrong.
But at a certain age you doneed to inform that child that,
(22:17):
hey, your daddy has been therefor you.
Your daddy made sure thishappened.
This happened.
This happened Even though hewasn't physically in the
household.
He still made sure you had.
And just don't try to picturethe daddy out to be a bum-ass
nigga, because hey, the niggamight actually be trying.
Be a bum ass nigga because, hey, the nigga might actually be
(22:38):
trying, he might not be able tosee his kids as much as you want
to.
Because you got to understandthat child support kick you in
the dick.
Because, like I was explainingto somebody the other day that,
um, one of my partners he wastalking about leaving his old
lady and they got a child I said, bro, let me tell you something
the hardest thing you will everdo in life is be an outside
father.
Because now you got to playdouble duty.
Now the only time you're goingto be able to see your kids is
through facetime phone calls onweekends.
(23:01):
Are you ready to see that?
Because I said it hurts sendingthem back on that last day and
they tell you I don't want to bewith my, I don't want to go
back, dad, I want to stay withyou.
I mean, what do you say?
What do you say to your kidswhen they say I don't want to go
back, daddy, but I want tothank with you.
I mean, what do you say?
What do you say to your kidswhen they say I don't want to go
back there?
But I want to thank you all forlistening to four step was only
(23:23):
we out Peace, Thank you.
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