August 4, 2025 • 53 mins
What if your clothing choices were a gateway to personal transformation? In this conversation with stylist Carla Biasi, "The Closet Queen," we uncover how authentic style isn’t about trends… it’s about unlocking your value and beauty.
Carla shares her journey from teen fashion lover to financial advisor before launching her styling business at 53, inspiring anyone who feels it might be “too late” to pursue a creative calling. As she says, “I couldn’t have done this 20 years ago because I wouldn’t have had that financial education and experience to set myself up.” Every step prepared her for this path.
Carla reveals how styling goes beyond flattering body types, showing how differently we move through life depending on what we wear: “Think about how you walk in sneakers vs. pumps.” Through touching client stories — especially postmenopausal women struggling with body image — she shows how shifting focus from flaws to beauty creates change. One exercise she offers: looking in the mirror and saying “I am beautiful,” emphasizing a different word each time.
Her refreshing approach encourages experimenting and failing as part of growth: “Style is art, not science.” In a world obsessed with perfection, this grace-filled perspective is liberating. If you’ve struggled with self-image or wondered how to authentically express yourself, this episode will leave you seeing yourself… and your closet… in a whole new light.
Subscribe now and join our community exploring how creativity transforms lives in unexpected ways. We’d love to hear how this episode impacts your relationship with personal style!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
it's okay to make mistakes.
That's how you learn.
It's the joy of doing, ofexpressing yourself, kind of
like maddox, what you weresaying earlier, like when
somebody has a really poorly puttogether outfit and is not
projecting the right image, whydo do they even do that, right?
Why do they not know?
It's okay, you guys, it's amistake, right, you wore
(00:31):
something that just didn't work,but you're willing to put
yourself out there, right,dwight?
Because we hear this quite abit.
It's putting yourself out thereto say I'm not the best dressed
, and that's okay, because I'mnot trying to be the best
dressed, but I'm trying to bethe best version of myself and
(00:51):
it's a process.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Welcome to another edition of For the Love of
Creatives podcast.
I am your co-host, dwight, andI'm joined by our co-host,
maddox, and today we have ourfeatured guest, carla Biasi.
Hi, carla.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Hey, good morning.
How are you all?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Wonderful.
We're so glad that you can behere.
I know that we're just poppinginto people's earbuds and they
may not have any idea whatthey're in for, but could you
kind of orient our listener andjust tell them a little bit
about yourself?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Sure, little bit about yourself.
Sure, dwight, I'll do the briefversion since we only have an
hour.
But I'm a personal stylist andwhat I think is a little
different about me is I startedmy love of fashion as a teenager
.
I was just doing some localmodeling, working a little bit
in retail.
So, to use the cliche term, Iwas bitten by the fashion bug at
(02:07):
that point in my life and Igraduated from college, went to
work for an upscale departmentstore, loved it, just went some
different ways in my career intoadvertising, financial services
.
But I knew that I always wantedto get back into fashion.
So I decided in my 40s I had tostart working toward that goal
(02:33):
and at 53, I was able to leavecorporate America in the
financial industry and start mypersonal styling business and
doing something that I don'tonly truly love.
I really feel like this is whatI was meant to do.
It's something that comes easyto me.
I feel like I'm very good atwhat I do.
(02:53):
I think that I can educatepeople as well as entertain a
little bit, but really help themmake that shift into what they
need me to do, which is usuallysome type of image creation,
right.
So I try to talk a lot abouthow you present yourself and how
(03:17):
that affects your life, becauseI feel like that's truly what I
do.
It's not so much about matchingpieces and colors, it's really
about affecting people in theway they live.
So that's a little bit about meand why I'm here, what I do,
and I hope that's answered yourquestion well.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Beautifully, beautifully, and it really makes
me kind of curious about how itis that you were able to carry
that, that spark for so long.
I mean you, you mentionedhaving that draw toward toward
fashion as a little girl, butyou, you walked a very
(03:59):
traditional path and didn't findyour your way back to what it
was you wanted to do until muchlater in life.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Um, what was that process of, of unfolding and
getting back to it, like thefunny thing to write is that I
really feel like I never left it.
So, even though I was workingoutside of the fashion world, I
was still.
I tell people I unofficially,was styling people for decades.
(04:28):
So even if you know I was doingsomething completely out of
fashion, I was still, you know,dressing the part and helping my
colleagues.
You know dress well.
So I feel like I never reallyleft it.
It's just now I can really kindof own it and do only that and
get paid for it, versus all thatfree advice I gave away for
(04:52):
years.
But you know, I think, whenit's something that you love and
probably you and Maddox feelthat about you know this podcast
it's just something you enjoy.
It's, you know, something thatcomes easy and natural and you
feel like you're giving toothers and just giving, you know
, allowing this kind of outletfor your talent, and so I feel
(05:15):
like it's always been there,like I've always been doing it,
but I finally got to, you know,shut everything else out and
just really focus on this.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
And that's amazing.
It sounds like you, you reallyhad a sense of that was what you
needed to do and what you weredoing all along, and it's a
little different from the kindsof things that we usually hear
where everyone's just kind ofgun shy or they, you know, they
think well, you know, no one'sreally going to care what I've
(05:47):
got to say, or I'm just not goodenough yet.
Did you ever have any of thosemoments of self-doubt?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
No, not as far as my career I.
It just is something that's soNatural to me.
You know, I get up in themorning and I start my day and
getting ready, just puttingtogether that image and that
mindset I need for the day to dowhat I want to do is so
(06:19):
ingrained in me.
Probably the biggest challenge,being a former financial
advisor, I did have to reachsome financial goals before I
could leave the corporate world.
And that was really hard,Dwight, because that's all I'd
ever done.
I mean, for 30 plus years I'vebeen employed by a corporation,
(06:40):
had full benefits, very used tothat kind of structure.
So I have to give big kudos tomy husband on that one.
You know, leaving that security, but I had to make sure he was
comfortable with that as welland he's just such a lovely,
like easygoing guy.
(07:01):
You know he's not the kind ofperson that will ever say no,
but it is a responsibility whenyou have other people in your
life a spouse, children you knowthe bills are coming in.
I mean there's just a certainamount of responsibility.
But because of that financial Icould do it and I could do it
(07:24):
safely, safely and securely,because that would have been the
tough part.
You know, if I couldn't havepulled the trigger on that, then
there probably would have beena lot of self-doubt and a little
fear every month on the firstwhen the bills come in and that
kind of thing.
But I do truly believe in whatI do and I think when you hear
(07:48):
people say and I've heard someof your past podcasts, that is,
I think, a common thread withpeople is I believed in what I
was doing, I believe I had to doit, I believed it was a calling
and I feel that that way.
So you know, the self-doubt wasnot so much there, but it was
the you know, earning the incomefactor that had to come quick.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
And it's great that you had that set of skills that
you honed from working infinancial services.
Financial services, I mean, youreally set yourself up to be
well you know, uniquely equippedwhen going into, looking at,
going out on your own.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yes, and I'll say this too, because my best friend
and I have this conversationall the time about why didn't I
know that then?
But I believe that life is ajourney.
I think you know God has laidout this path for us.
So I'll tell her things likewell, I couldn't have done that,
I couldn't do this, if I didn'thave that right.
(08:56):
So I couldn't have done this 20years ago because I wouldn't
have had that financialeducation and experience to set
myself up to do this.
So I say that because peoplelistening might say, oh gosh,
you know it's too late for me tostart, or they kick themselves
(09:18):
for not doing it at an earlierpoint in their life.
But you've got to rememberevery little thing that you've
gone through has put you towhere you are now.
It's steps we have to gothrough this right.
Not all of us came, you know,out of school and just
immediately lived our dream, butI think every bit of that just
(09:39):
makes you more comfortable.
You know, using kind of yourwords, self-doubt and taking
that away, because you'vetraveled, you know, to get where
you are, and without the travelI just don't know that you'd
have the success.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I agree.
I believe that everythinghappens in its own time and had
it come about back then youwouldn't have been ready and
likely wouldn't have beensuccessful.
Agreed, carly, you saidsomething that I really, really
resonate with.
I don't know if Dwight has toldyou this, but I had a 40-year
career as a hairdresser, makeupartist, and at one point during
(10:17):
that career I did some fashionconsulting for a period of time,
and I love what you said aboutthe philosophy of it's just not
putting colors together and thethings that we think of.
It's not just the pieces, parts, it's the energy behind it.
(10:39):
In my career as a hairdresser, Imet few, few colleagues that
saw it that way.
You know, it was like a new,fresh haircut would come on the
scene, some celebrity would popout with a new, fresh haircut
and, you know, every client gotsome version of that, and I
(11:01):
would watch this in the salons Iworked in and I always felt
like, you know, what's going onon the outside needs to be a
reflection of what's going on onthe inside, and I can see that
that's part of your philosophy.
But what I'd like to know isbut what I'd like to know is how
(11:29):
did you come to that?
Was it something that justnaturally flowed it was no
question or was there somethingthat taught you that there was
this deeper meaning and that youknow?
I've always said to clients.
You know, our appearance plays areally huge impact on the way
we move through life, and one ofthe things that I always say is
think about how you walk in apair of sneakers.
You walk a certain way in apair of sneakers.
(11:52):
Think about how you walk in apair of pumps.
You walk completely differentin a pair of pumps, and that's
just a metaphor, for you know, acasual outfit to a dressy
outfit, or a down hairdo for anup hairdo, or evening makeup
with daytime makeup it allaffects the way we respond to
(12:17):
life, and so I get that that'spart of what you're doing, but
I'm curious as to how youdiscovered that deeper meaning.
Your cat's going crazy with oneof your garments back there.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I would say this For me it was very personal.
I felt it, I lived it.
When I started and I was beingstyled for fashion shows, I
could relate to the way I feltwhen I wore certain things, when
(12:54):
people who haven't gone throughthe experience may not realize
the powerful impact of image.
And once you have the rightimage and yes, that's wearing
the clothes and having the rightyou know hair and makeup and
colors but you get a differentresponse from people.
And when I started seeing itmyself, that's how I realized
(13:19):
this is making a wholedifference in the way people see
me.
But it's also, and mostimportantly, the way I felt
about myself feeling confident,feeling pretty, being noticed.
You think about the days thatyou've gone out and people have
complimented oh my God, I lovethat color on you, you look
(13:42):
great today, and sometimes theycan't even put their finger on
it.
You know it's like, oh, how youdoing you look so good, I don't
even know why.
So I think for me it was livingthat image creation and seeing
how the world responded to meand how I felt about it, that I
(14:03):
just believe in it so much, youknow, and how it can affect your
life.
It's just a great experience,for you know people that haven't
gone through it, just to seethat and to feel it, and it does
affect your self-confidence.
I mean, let's just be honest,right, who doesn't want to feel
better about themselves?
(14:23):
And a lot of that can be theway the world perceives us and
the response that you get fromothers.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I do think that response that we get is only
partially because of the visualaspect.
I think it's more about that weshow up differently.
Yes, you know, our energy isdifferent and that's what
they're really responding to.
The visual is a part of it, alittle part of it, but yeah, oh,
I love what you're saying and I, you know, I just love that you
(14:56):
are really approaching thisfrom a true sense of creativity.
You are creating something foreach client that is specifically
for them and suited to them.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yes, because it's all personal, it's really built
about that person.
You know, I was reading anarticle and I'm sure you're
familiar with the actress, meganFox, who I just think is one of
the most beautiful women in theworld and she was saying at one
time she had worked with astylist and she couldn't stand
(15:36):
anything that she was wearing.
She didn't like a bit of it.
And I thought here's one of themost beautiful women in the
world who's unhappy with herimage.
She's unhappy with the way shelooks, she's unhappy in those
clothes.
And I thought what a shame.
You know, it's our job not onlyto create the right image, but
(15:59):
you have to own it, you have tofeel comfortable in it.
I can tell women a hundredtimes what to put on, but if
they don't feel it and see it,it's not going to make a
difference.
So for me, when I'm helping aclient, I ask them a lot of
questions how do you feel inthis?
(16:20):
How do you think this looks?
If I'm doing something to slimor to shape or to highlight, I
explain that because I want themto see what I see.
I say this a million timesEvery single person in this
world is beautiful, every singleone, because God only makes
beautiful things.
We as humans can ugly it up realquick, but we're not ugly,
(16:45):
we're beautiful, and when I workwith a client, the first thing
I see is how beautiful they are.
It could be a facial feature,it could be their shape, their
hair color, it could be anything, but that's what hits me first,
and I make sure that they seewhat I see, because so many of
(17:08):
us have a tendency to focus onwhat we don't like.
Right, especiallypostmenopausal women, and that's
kind of a focus for me.
You know, that's really a nichethat I like to work with,
because of that whole shift inbody and mind that happens to a
woman, and I hate the fact thatthey think that there's an extra
(17:28):
five or 10 pounds.
So now I am less than that.
Right, I don't look the way Iused to look.
I don't feel the way I used tofeel.
It doesn't discount you at all.
You are still the beautiful,vibrant woman you used to be,
and so now my job is to makesure you see it the way I do,
that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh my gosh, that's really beautiful, carla.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
That really hits me and I love the way that you just
you called it out you didn'tuse the overused euphemism a
woman of a certain age.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, no, and I'll say, you know, women hit menopause
at different times in their life.
I mean, some women hit it intheir 40s.
I mean I know people who areclose to 60 who are dealing with
it.
But it's not just that, it'snew moms, you know, they have a
lot of body issue because, youknow, now I have the baby belly.
(18:26):
Well, you know what you have abeautiful baby, celebrate your
body.
You know, love who you are andwhat you have.
You know, yes, nobody likes togain weight, none of us like the
you know postmenopausal pooch.
But look what it took to getyou there.
You've had this amazing,beautiful journey through life.
(18:46):
You've probably, you know, hada spouse and a career and
children and these things thathave brought you so much immense
joy.
So why would we discount thatbecause of our shape or some
extra skin?
But you can hide those thingseasily and especially, you know,
(19:08):
maddox, with your background,I'm sure you can attest to that.
It's all an optical illusion.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
It is all an optical illusion, it is all an optical
illusion Hair, makeup, color youname it and the clothing.
You can change somebody'scomplete figure by just the
right shape of outfit, the rightsilhouette.
I want to shift gears for aminute.
I want to go back to a really,really early time in your life
(19:40):
and hear what your first.
If you look back, what was yourfirst introduction to?
Whether it had anything to dowith with wardrobe or clothing,
but your first introduction Ican't talk today introduction to
anything that looked or tastedor smelled like creativity.
What was that like?
(20:01):
How old were you and what wasit?
So those, those fond memories,you know.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yes.
So what's really funny, maddox,is I do not see myself being a
creative person.
I because I'm very, in certainaspects of my life, very black
and white.
Right, and that comes from thefinancial side of me right, it's
all black and white, it'snumbers.
They have to add that wholewhatever.
(20:27):
Right brain versus left brain.
So for creativity, that eventhough I know for what I do I am
creative, I don't know thatI've ever had that moment of, oh
my gosh, I just createdsomething.
You know where I think thingscame together for me were when I
(20:52):
was, I'm going to say, juniorhigh and I was doing some
modeling and to see how thestylist would put things
together.
That I thought, oh, that'sinteresting.
And then I started seeing, youknow, colors and shapes and
(21:14):
things like that a littledifferently, instead of being so
, you know, structured, and thisgoes with this.
You know it's seeing it throughother people's eyes, and I am
just a firm believer in that'swhy God put us here right.
(21:39):
He wanted us to create acommunity and there's so much
value in learning from others,and that's, I think, what really
formed me into what I'm doingnow is watching other people do
it, seeing it through their eyes, learning and observing from
other people.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Do it, seeing it through their eyes, learning and
observing from other people,and I think a lot of people find
themselves, especially now thatwe've been we've all been
wrecked by the pandemic andlockdowns They've.
They really are out of touchwith what it is to be in
community.
What advice would you give tosomeone who wants to join a
(22:21):
community, creative or otherwise, that feels like they just
can't, for whatever reason?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Gosh, I mean really, dwight, that's such a good
question, because I do seepeople in my life that are so
just against asking for helpwhen they need help.
Let me just say that I thinkpeople have to realize that God
didn't mean for us to do thisjourney alone.
(22:50):
And I don't mean necessarily,you know, romantically, like
with spouses, but he created usto be social creatures, and the
minute you start seeingcommunity as a strength and not
a weakness, you know, oh, Ican't do it on my own, I'm
(23:13):
expected to do this.
You know, I have to learn it bymyself.
When we can get past that andsee the beauty, and the value of
others, helping us succeed, andyou know it's like a domino
effect.
You know it's like a dominoeffect when you can really
(23:34):
understand that that communityis a source for you and not a
hindrance or anight, becausenowadays everything is so DIY,
(23:55):
right, even when you get hiredby a company, you're supposed to
do all your own onboarding.
You know it's so, you have toknow it, do it, learn it,
produce it, and I think that'spart of what takes away from
people wanting to be part of acommunity because it's looked at
as a fault.
Right, I should know how to dothis.
(24:16):
If I don't know how to do it, Ibetter get on social media,
better look it up, better get onchat, gpt, because that's what
I do and it's just.
It's such a problem to mebecause we've taken that
connection.
I'm just going to use that wordbecause that's such an
important word to me, bothprofessionally and personally.
(24:39):
We've lost the value ofconnection.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I love that you use that word, because a running
joke that we have is that wedon't use the N word in in our
household, and that's that'snetwork so you know I have lost
count on the number of featuredguests that we've had on the
podcast that have said, handsdown, their most successful
(25:08):
projects have beencollaborations.
Yeah, you said something a fewminutes ago.
I'm going to backtrack aconversation back.
I just want to say, from myperspective, you are highly
creative.
Oh, thank you.
(25:28):
You know, and I encourage youand this is a conversation I
have a lot.
I encourage you and this is aconversation I have a lot.
I encourage you to own that.
You know more so than just I'ma wardrobe consultant or a dress
or whatever people usedifferent terms.
I would encourage you to ownthat.
You're a creative.
(25:49):
I mean, look, you've got abackdrop of a rack and clothing
behind you.
It's part of building yourbrand and you have completely
curated your look for our calltoday and you know you are
highly creative, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
And.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I think there's something very magical about
when we can own something likethat, that it becomes something
that's intentional rather thanjust happens naturally.
It becomes something that wecan wield like a sword rather
than just wondering is it goingto happen this time or is it not
going to happen this time, ifthat makes sense.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Oh, yes, absolutely, Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Yeah, and I love the way you own it fully.
When we go and check you out onsocial media, you are the
closet queen.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Thank you, Dwight.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I love that, you know , as two gay men, we love that.
As two gay men, we love thatCloset and queen are two terms
that are very, very well knownin our lives.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
So how has creativity changed the way you understand
yourself?
I think one thing, probably themost, max, is what you just hit
on Me always thinking I'm notcreative, but knowing that, yes,
I am right, in order to do whatI do, I need to be creative.
But I have never thought ofmyself in that way.
(27:37):
So to, I guess, to acknowledgethat I'm creative is I don't,
it's probably a little hard forme.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I just You're not alone, it is.
I have this conversation a lot,you know.
I literally will cornersomebody and say look me in the
eyes and say with conviction, Iam creative, or I am a creative.
And there's always this massiveshift as soon as they do.
I can feel it, I can see it andtheir shoulders drop a little
(28:14):
bit.
As they do.
I can feel it, I can see it andtheir shoulders drop a little
bit and they exhale and it'sjust like it's magic.
It's magic.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
It is.
I do that exercise.
I did a post on this probably acouple of years ago with women
postmenopausal women inparticular looking in the mirror
and saying to themselves inparticular, looking in the
mirror and saying to themselvesI am beautiful.
And being very serious aboutthat, because you know,
sometimes that's hard to do.
It sounds simple, I know, itsounds a little silly, but to
(28:43):
look at yourself in the mirrorand say I am beautiful, and then
I ask them to run through thatsentence emphasizing different
words.
So we start with I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful
and I am beautiful.
It's so empowering and justthat simple exercise can really
(29:10):
make people see themselvesdifferently because they're
believing it.
And I'm probably aging myselfwhen I say this, but there used
to be a sketch on Saturday NightLive.
I can't remember the character,stuart.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yes, Stuart Smalley.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
He would do his daily affirmations, was it?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Stuart Smalley.
Was that what his name was?
Yes, I can't believe.
I even remember that.
I wasn't even a big fan ofSaturday Night Live, but I
remember Stuart Smalley.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yes, we just need to all Stuart Smalley a little bit
in our lives.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
You know, I think most human beings struggle just
to look into their own eyes in amirror and say nothing.
I agree, but to speak tothemselves on that level is
increasingly even morechallenging.
Yes, yeah, you know.
(30:05):
I know from my own experiencethat when you're working with a
client, you work with somepeople who have not just no
image, but they have a reallybad image, and what you do is,
(30:25):
in the truest sense of the word,transformation.
Yes, because it doesn't onlychange the way they look.
It changes the way they feelabout themselves and in turn it
changes the way people see them.
It is truly transformational.
I had a young woman one timethat after I finished cutting
(30:46):
her hair, I said just let metouch up your makeup.
She wasn't wearing any makeup,there wasn't really anything to
touch up.
So I put a little makeup on herand turned her back around to
the mirror and she was like oh,oh, that's not me.
And I could tell she was reallynervous and I just put just a
little bit on her and I squatteddown the chair next to her and
I looked her in the eyes and Isaid why are you so unwilling to
(31:10):
be pretty?
And she burst into tears andjust sat there and sobbed and I
just held space for her.
I never saw her again that shedidn't have just a little bit of
makeup on her face.
It changed something for her.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, I think that's so important with what you just
said, because it's the allowingthemselves to be pretty, because
for some people, men and womenthey have not allowed themselves
to be that way, to feel thatway.
You know, it's kind of goesback to it's it's all in here,
(31:50):
right?
What's in here produces what'sout here.
So that's one reason I lovewhat I do, because I get to know
people.
So it's something as simple asa closet audit.
As we're talking, I'm startingto see the internal.
You know, I can't let go ofthose.
(32:11):
Carla, those are clothes I'mgoing to wear when he'll lose 40
pounds.
Oh, bite a nickel for everytime I'd be retired.
We don't hold on to thosethings because they're making
you just feel bad Every time youlook at those clothes you're
looking at I'm a failure, I'moverweight, I don't deserve.
(32:33):
We let go of all of that.
But all of that is emotional.
Yes, it is In our mind, it's inour heart and it shouldn't be
that way.
We should love who.
We are right there in theminute because, again, we're
beautiful.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I have a burning question and this is a little
bit off topic.
It's less about creativity andmore just about what you do.
But when you see somebody thathas gone out of their way to
create an unattractive image andI see a lot of this, especially
in the creatives community whatdoes that tell you about them?
(33:16):
When you see somebody that'syou know, I laughingly and this
is probably I shouldn't feelgood about this, but I
laughingly will say to Dwight ohmy God, look at that outfit.
I mean, did they just stand inthe mirror this morning and say,
oh my God, I look fabulousBecause it's just the worst
(33:39):
outfit that you can possiblyimagine?
I mean, how did they look inthe mirror and walk outside
wearing that?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
What does it tell you when somebody goes out of their
way to look unattractive.
It's usually come from one oftwo places and I would say 99%
of it happens this way.
One is that it's something theywere told or taught from their
past.
So they're typically holding onto something that was told to
them 20 years ago, 30 years ago.
(34:13):
Told to them 20 years ago, 30years ago, and again it's the
emotion.
You see it a lot with folks whoyou know hey, the 80s or their
90s was their heyday, right?
That's when they were young andhip and attractive and living
the life.
And they're just not reallyaccepting getting older.
(34:33):
So they're hanging on to thatold style, thinking they look
younger, better, more attractiveand all you know mags from what
you did.
All it's doing is aging themand it gives that little sense
of desperation.
But it says I'm not happy withwho I am.
I want to go back into the daywhere I was.
(34:55):
That that's where I was happy.
So it's either that where thereit was something from their
past, or I see a lot of I justdon't know you and I have that
creative eye to look and say,hey, we can do better, right,
this isn't flattering, but forso many people they honestly,
(35:19):
truly just do not know, and Imean either they don't have the
eye for it or you know, I'mgoing to go back to kind of the
right and left brain.
You know where some people are,just more kind of that right
brain.
I think was not the creativeside.
(35:39):
So image is a something they dobecause they have to right, I
have to get understand or wantto do better.
But when I start asking thequestions, what are your goals?
Oh, I want to get promoted.
You know, I want to meetsomebody special when you start
(36:02):
asking those questions and thenyou can kind of relate what
their image is to where they areand help them see that that's
where the change starts, likewhen I do a lot of public
speaking, and so one of thefirst things I do when I sit
with a group is I'll say let'sdo an exercise.
I want everybody to write downthree things about themselves.
(36:25):
Right, so three words orphrases.
If you met somebody new andthey said, hey, maddox, tell me
about you.
What are three things that youwould say?
Right, then I ask them just totake a selfie.
Simple, let's just take aselfie.
And then I'll say, before youend your workday, I want you to
pull out that card of yourdescriptions and I want you to
(36:48):
pull out your phone of yourselfie and I want you to look at
those things and tell me ifthey match.
Do the three things that youhave said about yourself
describe the picture of you?
If there's a disconnect, thenwe need to talk right, we need
to fix that.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Oh honey, you are so creative.
Oh my gosh.
I mean that's brilliant.
And you know, I'm sitting hererealizing that one of the hats
that you wear as a professionaldresser is you're coaching these
people yes, absolutely.
(37:31):
And not just on what to wear.
You're coaching them onsomething that's going on more
deeply inside of them.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yes, my goal is to educate my client.
I don't want you to hire me fora job.
I come in and do it leave andthen we don't speak.
I want to educate you.
So if I'm telling you ahigh-rise dark wash jean is what
looks best for you, I'm goingto tell you why.
And I'm going to show you why.
Because I want you to be ableagain see what I see, know what
(38:05):
I know.
If I've done that for you, thenI've done my job.
Anybody can come in into acloset and walk out the door.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
We are twins that were separated at birth.
This is exactly what I did withmy clientele.
I literally believed aneducated client is a better
client.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
And I constantly got comments like no hairdresser's
ever told me this before ornobody's ever taken this much
time with me.
It was the way I set myselfapart and sounds like the way
you set yourself apart.
It's brilliant and it'screative.
Learning how the ways to setyourself apart is part of the
(38:44):
creativity.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
You're right, it is yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Hugely Wow.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
I love the way that the work that you do is so it's
like, internally driven, likethe way that you phrased that
people have that innate beauty,that that innate worth, and
somehow along the way they lostsight of it.
Somehow they're they're notable to appreciate it, and you
(39:17):
keep steering them there.
What do you do to overcomethose people who are so wounded
that it's hard for them to makethat connection, to really have
a chance of being able to seethat spark and that beauty that
you see?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
That.
I will tell you this, dwight.
I really had this experience.
So I had this client, beautifulwoman, had the most beautiful
blue eyes, amazing skin and thisdark red hair, and I mean I
really couldn't stop looking ather.
I just thought, oh my God,you're beautiful.
(39:56):
She had gone through menopause,had gained some weight and, as
we're talking and workingtogether, all she could do was
focus on her weight.
If I heard one time that shegained 20 pounds, I heard a
hundred times.
So I realized this is not aneasy.
I'm just going to tell you andshow you why this looks good on
(40:17):
you.
We have to dig deeper and, ofcourse, I don't have that much
time.
So what I really try to do inthat situation is focus on one
thing that they can agree with.
So I put it in front of amirror and I said okay, I get it
right.
We go through menopause, we'renot happy with our body Totally
understandable.
But tell me one thing you dolike about yourself.
(40:39):
Tell me one thing that youthink is truly attractive about
you, regardless of the weightgain.
There's got to be somethingthat you think is pretty.
Well, I like my hair color.
I agree with you.
So I told her all the reasonsthat I loved her hair color and
what it did for her.
So I said then why don't welook at some things that really
(41:00):
play up your hair color, right,don't?
Let's not look at tags andnumbers and letters.
Let's just focus right now onsome things that really play up
your hair color.
Because, I agree with you, Ithink you have the most
beautiful hair color.
So we took it that way and I'vehad people come back to me I
(41:22):
style for a boutique here athome that I haven't seen in a
year and they remember mebecause of that.
Why?
It's not because I put her inthe right color, it's because of
the way I made her feel.
It's because of what I showedher that she sees.
Is that woman still complainingabout her weight gain?
Probably, as we all would, butI hope I left her with a bit of
(41:47):
beauty, something that shewasn't focusing on that she can
focus on now.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Carla, creativity is oozing out of every pore of your
entire body.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Max, you are so good for my ego, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I mean just your way of looking at things and your
way of relating andcommunicating.
It's all highly creative ofrelating and communicating.
It's all highly creative.
I mean you are a master atproblem solving.
They come in, they've got aproblem and you are immediately
working to solve that problem.
(42:26):
The workarounds, the thingsthat, wow, you know I can tell
you're very good at what you do.
Thank you, thank you so as acreative, as a stylist.
What does success look like toyou?
(42:47):
How do you define success?
Find, success?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
You know I have struggled with that question.
In fact today on the way home Iwas thinking about that and I
thought to be successful and I'msure a lot of us go there is
these things would have tohappen right, and part of it is
(43:13):
usually financial, part of it'sprofessional.
As a Christian I know that's notthe right answer.
I know to be truly successfulis to.
I believe, for me to leavepeople feeling their best, not
(43:34):
even so much looking their best,but I think about my friends
and how much I love them and howmuch they mean to me and I hope
that I give them the joy andthe love that they bring to me.
So success on the personal endis that, but professionally as
well, I hope that when I workwith people I have made a
(43:59):
difference, a positive change,even if it's small, something
that they walk away with, andnow they're a little bit better
off than when they first came tome.
If I could do that for everyclient I have, I really feel
like I'd be successful, becauseI believe if you do the work and
you do it right and you do itwell, the other stuff comes the
(44:21):
income, the money, therecognition, all of that, but
you got to get it right on thefront end.
So that's what I hope that I'mdoing.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
You know the money comes and goes and at the end of
your life you won't be lookingback on how much money you made,
but you'll be thinking aboutthe people whose lives you've
touched.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
The impact and that ripple effect.
I think that now would be a agood time to take a look at your
definition of success and thinkabout how there might just be
the right person listening thatcould do things to really push
(45:15):
you toward what it is, that youneed to really be at the
pinnacle, to have achievedeverything that you want, to
unlock everything, and so I'llpose what's really kind of the
big question what is yourbiggest pain point?
What is the challenge that, ifsolved, would be the game
(45:41):
changer?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Of course, dwight, you had to ask me that hard
question.
So I would really say the painpoint for me is to for it's
getting people to realize thevalue of themselves, to
understand how strong andpowerful their image is and,
(46:10):
again, not to talk about theclothes.
And I'm going to quote one ofmy very favorite icons in the
world, stacey London, who Idon't know if y'all know who she
is, but she's a professionalstylist.
She used to co-host what Not toWear and she said it a hundred
times it's not about the clothes, it's never been about the
clothes, I agree.
(46:32):
Clothes, it's never been aboutthe clothes, I agree.
What I wish is that I could getevery person to see their own
inner strength, their own innerbeauty and therefore liberate
themselves and I use that wordquite a bit from you know the
chains of life, if you will.
You know the chains of life, ifyou will.
(46:53):
But the things holding themback insecurity, self-doubt, not
knowing their self-worth, notknowing their own inner strength
and value to others, how theycan positively affect their
community, whether it's family,friends, whatever.
If I could really get people tounderstand that, that's truly
(47:15):
what I do, dwight.
That is my pain point.
It's really getting people pastthe idea of Carla can put me in
clothes.
I mean, anybody can put you inclothes.
An app can put you in clothes.
You know, it's kind of thatwhole like AI can do what I do,
but I can truly make a personaldifference in your life that
(47:41):
makes a personal difference toothers.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Wow, I think you've just sold it.
I mean what you just said ifit's not already needs to be
part of your marketing.
I love the quote, your icon.
It's not about the clothes.
That's a beautiful starter.
It's not about the clothes.
(48:08):
Let me tell you what I do andwhy it's so valuable.
We do do clothing and it's notabout the clothes.
Yeah, you will crack that nut.
As creative as you are and youknow you get the value of
(48:28):
community and not trying tofigure it all out on your own,
there'll be somebody that willcontribute and help you crack
that nut.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
I've got to say that this has been a wonderful and
moving experience for us, and Iwould hope that anyone who is
listening might listen a fewtimes, because there are lots of
beautiful pearls in this andplease share this with people
(49:07):
who need to hear it.
I think that there are a lot ofpeople who have a lot of things
that are holding them back andmaking them feel less than and
they they really need the kindof encouragement and the kind of
way that you shine a light onon their beauty, to show them
(49:28):
there's another way.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Thank you, dwight.
Yes, and I did want to just addthis one thing too If you look
at really successful people inlife, they will tell you this
it's okay to fail.
To fail means you tried.
So I tell people experimentwith your style.
It's style is an art, right,maddox, it's.
(49:51):
This is art.
This is not science, it's art.
I tell people.
Look at some of my past posts.
I posted stuff and thought what, why, why was I even wearing
that?
Like, what did I have on thatday?
I specifically remember drivinghome one day and I called my
best friend.
I was like, if you could seewhat I have on today and I told
somebody what I do, they wouldbe like get out of here you.
(50:14):
It's okay to make mistakes.
That's how you learn.
It's the joy of doing, ofexpressing yourself, kind of
like, maddox, what you weresaying earlier.
Like when somebody has a reallypoorly put together outfit and
is not projecting the rightimage, why do they even do that,
right?
Why do they not know?
It's okay, you guys, it's amistake, right, you wore
(50:35):
something that just didn't work,but you're willing to put
yourself out there, right,dwight?
Because we hear this quite abit.
It's putting yourself out thereto say I'm not the best dressed
, and that's okay, because I'mnot trying to be the best
dressed, but I'm trying to bethe best version of myself and
(50:55):
it's a process and it's okay ifI'm not there today.
It might take me years to getthere, but I can have the joy of
going through the journey,getting there and making some
really lovely contacts along theway and making some really
lovely contacts along the way.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Beautiful, you know, I just want to leave you with
this, carla, you absolutely arechanging lives.
You know, I think it's MayaAngelou who says people won't
remember what you did, peoplewon't remember what you said,
but they'll remember how youmade them feel, and I know how
you have made me feel in thishour of being with you.
(51:39):
And we didn't touch my wardrobe.
So, you know, I just think thatyou are on track.
You know, I just hope you hearthat you are really on track.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
This has been such a pleasure.
I've so enjoyed thisconversation.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
I have too.
I have too.
I just cannot thank you bothenough for allowing me to come
in and pop into your world foran hour today.
I've just, I've truly enjoyedit and very honored and blessed
to be here.
So thank you.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
Thank you.
it's okay to make mistakes.
That's how you learn.
It's the joy of doing, ofexpressing yourself, kind of
like maddox, what you weresaying earlier, like when
somebody has a really poorly puttogether outfit and is not
projecting the right image, whydo do they even do that, right?
Why do they not know?
It's okay, you guys, it's amistake, right, you wore
(00:31):
something that just didn't work,but you're willing to put
yourself out there, right,dwight?
Because we hear this quite abit.
It's putting yourself out thereto say I'm not the best dressed
, and that's okay, because I'mnot trying to be the best
dressed, but I'm trying to bethe best version of myself and
(00:51):
it's a process.
Speaker 3 (01:04):
Welcome to another edition of For the Love of
Creatives podcast.
I am your co-host, dwight, andI'm joined by our co-host,
maddox, and today we have ourfeatured guest, carla Biasi.
Hi, carla.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Hey, good morning.
How are you all?
Speaker 3 (01:23):
Wonderful.
We're so glad that you can behere.
I know that we're just poppinginto people's earbuds and they
may not have any idea whatthey're in for, but could you
kind of orient our listener andjust tell them a little bit
about yourself?
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Sure, little bit about yourself.
Sure, dwight, I'll do the briefversion since we only have an
hour.
But I'm a personal stylist andwhat I think is a little
different about me is I startedmy love of fashion as a teenager
.
I was just doing some localmodeling, working a little bit
in retail.
So, to use the cliche term, Iwas bitten by the fashion bug at
(02:07):
that point in my life and Igraduated from college, went to
work for an upscale departmentstore, loved it, just went some
different ways in my career intoadvertising, financial services
.
But I knew that I always wantedto get back into fashion.
So I decided in my 40s I had tostart working toward that goal
(02:33):
and at 53, I was able to leavecorporate America in the
financial industry and start mypersonal styling business and
doing something that I don'tonly truly love.
I really feel like this is whatI was meant to do.
It's something that comes easyto me.
I feel like I'm very good atwhat I do.
(02:53):
I think that I can educatepeople as well as entertain a
little bit, but really help themmake that shift into what they
need me to do, which is usuallysome type of image creation,
right.
So I try to talk a lot abouthow you present yourself and how
(03:17):
that affects your life, becauseI feel like that's truly what I
do.
It's not so much about matchingpieces and colors, it's really
about affecting people in theway they live.
So that's a little bit about meand why I'm here, what I do,
and I hope that's answered yourquestion well.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
Beautifully, beautifully, and it really makes
me kind of curious about how itis that you were able to carry
that, that spark for so long.
I mean you, you mentionedhaving that draw toward toward
fashion as a little girl, butyou, you walked a very
(03:59):
traditional path and didn't findyour your way back to what it
was you wanted to do until muchlater in life.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Um, what was that process of, of unfolding and
getting back to it, like thefunny thing to write is that I
really feel like I never left it.
So, even though I was workingoutside of the fashion world, I
was still.
I tell people I unofficially,was styling people for decades.
(04:28):
So even if you know I was doingsomething completely out of
fashion, I was still, you know,dressing the part and helping my
colleagues.
You know dress well.
So I feel like I never reallyleft it.
It's just now I can really kindof own it and do only that and
get paid for it, versus all thatfree advice I gave away for
(04:52):
years.
But you know, I think, whenit's something that you love and
probably you and Maddox feelthat about you know this podcast
it's just something you enjoy.
It's, you know, something thatcomes easy and natural and you
feel like you're giving toothers and just giving, you know
, allowing this kind of outletfor your talent, and so I feel
(05:15):
like it's always been there,like I've always been doing it,
but I finally got to, you know,shut everything else out and
just really focus on this.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
And that's amazing.
It sounds like you, you reallyhad a sense of that was what you
needed to do and what you weredoing all along, and it's a
little different from the kindsof things that we usually hear
where everyone's just kind ofgun shy or they, you know, they
think well, you know, no one'sreally going to care what I've
(05:47):
got to say, or I'm just not goodenough yet.
Did you ever have any of thosemoments of self-doubt?
Speaker 1 (05:56):
No, not as far as my career I.
It just is something that's soNatural to me.
You know, I get up in themorning and I start my day and
getting ready, just puttingtogether that image and that
mindset I need for the day to dowhat I want to do is so
(06:19):
ingrained in me.
Probably the biggest challenge,being a former financial
advisor, I did have to reachsome financial goals before I
could leave the corporate world.
And that was really hard,Dwight, because that's all I'd
ever done.
I mean, for 30 plus years I'vebeen employed by a corporation,
(06:40):
had full benefits, very used tothat kind of structure.
So I have to give big kudos tomy husband on that one.
You know, leaving that security, but I had to make sure he was
comfortable with that as welland he's just such a lovely,
like easygoing guy.
(07:01):
You know he's not the kind ofperson that will ever say no,
but it is a responsibility whenyou have other people in your
life a spouse, children you knowthe bills are coming in.
I mean there's just a certainamount of responsibility.
But because of that financial Icould do it and I could do it
(07:24):
safely, safely and securely,because that would have been the
tough part.
You know, if I couldn't havepulled the trigger on that, then
there probably would have beena lot of self-doubt and a little
fear every month on the firstwhen the bills come in and that
kind of thing.
But I do truly believe in whatI do and I think when you hear
(07:48):
people say and I've heard someof your past podcasts, that is,
I think, a common thread withpeople is I believed in what I
was doing, I believe I had to doit, I believed it was a calling
and I feel that that way.
So you know, the self-doubt wasnot so much there, but it was
the you know, earning the incomefactor that had to come quick.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
And it's great that you had that set of skills that
you honed from working infinancial services.
Financial services, I mean, youreally set yourself up to be
well you know, uniquely equippedwhen going into, looking at,
going out on your own.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Yes, and I'll say this too, because my best friend
and I have this conversationall the time about why didn't I
know that then?
But I believe that life is ajourney.
I think you know God has laidout this path for us.
So I'll tell her things likewell, I couldn't have done that,
I couldn't do this, if I didn'thave that right.
(08:56):
So I couldn't have done this 20years ago because I wouldn't
have had that financialeducation and experience to set
myself up to do this.
So I say that because peoplelistening might say, oh gosh,
you know it's too late for me tostart, or they kick themselves
(09:18):
for not doing it at an earlierpoint in their life.
But you've got to rememberevery little thing that you've
gone through has put you towhere you are now.
It's steps we have to gothrough this right.
Not all of us came, you know,out of school and just
immediately lived our dream, butI think every bit of that just
(09:39):
makes you more comfortable.
You know, using kind of yourwords, self-doubt and taking
that away, because you'vetraveled, you know, to get where
you are, and without the travelI just don't know that you'd
have the success.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I agree.
I believe that everythinghappens in its own time and had
it come about back then youwouldn't have been ready and
likely wouldn't have beensuccessful.
Agreed, carly, you saidsomething that I really, really
resonate with.
I don't know if Dwight has toldyou this, but I had a 40-year
career as a hairdresser, makeupartist, and at one point during
(10:17):
that career I did some fashionconsulting for a period of time,
and I love what you said aboutthe philosophy of it's just not
putting colors together and thethings that we think of.
It's not just the pieces, parts, it's the energy behind it.
(10:39):
In my career as a hairdresser, Imet few, few colleagues that
saw it that way.
You know, it was like a new,fresh haircut would come on the
scene, some celebrity would popout with a new, fresh haircut
and, you know, every client gotsome version of that, and I
(11:01):
would watch this in the salons Iworked in and I always felt
like, you know, what's going onon the outside needs to be a
reflection of what's going on onthe inside, and I can see that
that's part of your philosophy.
But what I'd like to know isbut what I'd like to know is how
(11:29):
did you come to that?
Was it something that justnaturally flowed it was no
question or was there somethingthat taught you that there was
this deeper meaning and that youknow?
I've always said to clients.
You know, our appearance plays areally huge impact on the way
we move through life, and one ofthe things that I always say is
think about how you walk in apair of sneakers.
You walk a certain way in apair of sneakers.
(11:52):
Think about how you walk in apair of pumps.
You walk completely differentin a pair of pumps, and that's
just a metaphor, for you know, acasual outfit to a dressy
outfit, or a down hairdo for anup hairdo, or evening makeup
with daytime makeup it allaffects the way we respond to
(12:17):
life, and so I get that that'spart of what you're doing, but
I'm curious as to how youdiscovered that deeper meaning.
Your cat's going crazy with oneof your garments back there.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I would say this For me it was very personal.
I felt it, I lived it.
When I started and I was beingstyled for fashion shows, I
could relate to the way I feltwhen I wore certain things, when
(12:54):
people who haven't gone throughthe experience may not realize
the powerful impact of image.
And once you have the rightimage and yes, that's wearing
the clothes and having the rightyou know hair and makeup and
colors but you get a differentresponse from people.
And when I started seeing itmyself, that's how I realized
(13:19):
this is making a wholedifference in the way people see
me.
But it's also, and mostimportantly, the way I felt
about myself feeling confident,feeling pretty, being noticed.
You think about the days thatyou've gone out and people have
complimented oh my God, I lovethat color on you, you look
(13:42):
great today, and sometimes theycan't even put their finger on
it.
You know it's like, oh, how youdoing you look so good, I don't
even know why.
So I think for me it was livingthat image creation and seeing
how the world responded to meand how I felt about it, that I
(14:03):
just believe in it so much, youknow, and how it can affect your
life.
It's just a great experience,for you know people that haven't
gone through it, just to seethat and to feel it, and it does
affect your self-confidence.
I mean, let's just be honest,right, who doesn't want to feel
better about themselves?
(14:23):
And a lot of that can be theway the world perceives us and
the response that you get fromothers.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
I do think that response that we get is only
partially because of the visualaspect.
I think it's more about that weshow up differently.
Yes, you know, our energy isdifferent and that's what
they're really responding to.
The visual is a part of it, alittle part of it, but yeah, oh,
I love what you're saying and I, you know, I just love that you
(14:56):
are really approaching thisfrom a true sense of creativity.
You are creating something foreach client that is specifically
for them and suited to them.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yes, because it's all personal, it's really built
about that person.
You know, I was reading anarticle and I'm sure you're
familiar with the actress, meganFox, who I just think is one of
the most beautiful women in theworld and she was saying at one
time she had worked with astylist and she couldn't stand
(15:36):
anything that she was wearing.
She didn't like a bit of it.
And I thought here's one of themost beautiful women in the
world who's unhappy with herimage.
She's unhappy with the way shelooks, she's unhappy in those
clothes.
And I thought what a shame.
You know, it's our job not onlyto create the right image, but
(15:59):
you have to own it, you have tofeel comfortable in it.
I can tell women a hundredtimes what to put on, but if
they don't feel it and see it,it's not going to make a
difference.
So for me, when I'm helping aclient, I ask them a lot of
questions how do you feel inthis?
(16:20):
How do you think this looks?
If I'm doing something to slimor to shape or to highlight, I
explain that because I want themto see what I see.
I say this a million timesEvery single person in this
world is beautiful, every singleone, because God only makes
beautiful things.
We as humans can ugly it up realquick, but we're not ugly,
(16:45):
we're beautiful, and when I workwith a client, the first thing
I see is how beautiful they are.
It could be a facial feature,it could be their shape, their
hair color, it could be anything, but that's what hits me first,
and I make sure that they seewhat I see, because so many of
(17:08):
us have a tendency to focus onwhat we don't like.
Right, especiallypostmenopausal women, and that's
kind of a focus for me.
You know, that's really a nichethat I like to work with,
because of that whole shift inbody and mind that happens to a
woman, and I hate the fact thatthey think that there's an extra
(17:28):
five or 10 pounds.
So now I am less than that.
Right, I don't look the way Iused to look.
I don't feel the way I used tofeel.
It doesn't discount you at all.
You are still the beautiful,vibrant woman you used to be,
and so now my job is to makesure you see it the way I do,
that's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh my gosh, that's really beautiful, carla.
Speaker 3 (17:50):
That really hits me and I love the way that you just
you called it out you didn'tuse the overused euphemism a
woman of a certain age.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
No, no, and I'll say, you know, women hit menopause
at different times in their life.
I mean, some women hit it intheir 40s.
I mean I know people who areclose to 60 who are dealing with
it.
But it's not just that, it'snew moms, you know, they have a
lot of body issue because, youknow, now I have the baby belly.
(18:26):
Well, you know what you have abeautiful baby, celebrate your
body.
You know, love who you are andwhat you have.
You know, yes, nobody likes togain weight, none of us like the
you know postmenopausal pooch.
But look what it took to getyou there.
You've had this amazing,beautiful journey through life.
(18:46):
You've probably, you know, hada spouse and a career and
children and these things thathave brought you so much immense
joy.
So why would we discount thatbecause of our shape or some
extra skin?
But you can hide those thingseasily and especially, you know,
(19:08):
maddox, with your background,I'm sure you can attest to that.
It's all an optical illusion.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
It is all an optical illusion, it is all an optical
illusion Hair, makeup, color youname it and the clothing.
You can change somebody'scomplete figure by just the
right shape of outfit, the rightsilhouette.
I want to shift gears for aminute.
I want to go back to a really,really early time in your life
(19:40):
and hear what your first.
If you look back, what was yourfirst introduction to?
Whether it had anything to dowith with wardrobe or clothing,
but your first introduction Ican't talk today introduction to
anything that looked or tastedor smelled like creativity.
What was that like?
(20:01):
How old were you and what wasit?
So those, those fond memories,you know.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Yes.
So what's really funny, maddox,is I do not see myself being a
creative person.
I because I'm very, in certainaspects of my life, very black
and white.
Right, and that comes from thefinancial side of me right, it's
all black and white, it'snumbers.
They have to add that wholewhatever.
(20:27):
Right brain versus left brain.
So for creativity, that eventhough I know for what I do I am
creative, I don't know thatI've ever had that moment of, oh
my gosh, I just createdsomething.
You know where I think thingscame together for me were when I
(20:52):
was, I'm going to say, juniorhigh and I was doing some
modeling and to see how thestylist would put things
together.
That I thought, oh, that'sinteresting.
And then I started seeing, youknow, colors and shapes and
(21:14):
things like that a littledifferently, instead of being so
, you know, structured, and thisgoes with this.
You know it's seeing it throughother people's eyes, and I am
just a firm believer in that'swhy God put us here right.
(21:39):
He wanted us to create acommunity and there's so much
value in learning from others,and that's, I think, what really
formed me into what I'm doingnow is watching other people do
it, seeing it through their eyes, learning and observing from
other people.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Do it, seeing it through their eyes, learning and
observing from other people,and I think a lot of people find
themselves, especially now thatwe've been we've all been
wrecked by the pandemic andlockdowns They've.
They really are out of touchwith what it is to be in
community.
What advice would you give tosomeone who wants to join a
(22:21):
community, creative or otherwise, that feels like they just
can't, for whatever reason?
Speaker 1 (22:28):
Gosh, I mean really, dwight, that's such a good
question, because I do seepeople in my life that are so
just against asking for helpwhen they need help.
Let me just say that I thinkpeople have to realize that God
didn't mean for us to do thisjourney alone.
(22:50):
And I don't mean necessarily,you know, romantically, like
with spouses, but he created usto be social creatures, and the
minute you start seeingcommunity as a strength and not
a weakness, you know, oh, Ican't do it on my own, I'm
(23:13):
expected to do this.
You know, I have to learn it bymyself.
When we can get past that andsee the beauty, and the value of
others, helping us succeed, andyou know it's like a domino
effect.
You know it's like a dominoeffect when you can really
(23:34):
understand that that communityis a source for you and not a
hindrance or anight, becausenowadays everything is so DIY,
(23:55):
right, even when you get hiredby a company, you're supposed to
do all your own onboarding.
You know it's so, you have toknow it, do it, learn it,
produce it, and I think that'spart of what takes away from
people wanting to be part of acommunity because it's looked at
as a fault.
Right, I should know how to dothis.
(24:16):
If I don't know how to do it, Ibetter get on social media,
better look it up, better get onchat, gpt, because that's what
I do and it's just.
It's such a problem to mebecause we've taken that
connection.
I'm just going to use that wordbecause that's such an
important word to me, bothprofessionally and personally.
(24:39):
We've lost the value ofconnection.
Speaker 3 (24:44):
Yes, I agree.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I love that you use that word, because a running
joke that we have is that wedon't use the N word in in our
household, and that's that'snetwork so you know I have lost
count on the number of featuredguests that we've had on the
podcast that have said, handsdown, their most successful
(25:08):
projects have beencollaborations.
Yeah, you said something a fewminutes ago.
I'm going to backtrack aconversation back.
I just want to say, from myperspective, you are highly
creative.
Oh, thank you.
(25:28):
You know, and I encourage youand this is a conversation I
have a lot.
I encourage you and this is aconversation I have a lot.
I encourage you to own that.
You know more so than just I'ma wardrobe consultant or a dress
or whatever people usedifferent terms.
I would encourage you to ownthat.
You're a creative.
(25:49):
I mean, look, you've got abackdrop of a rack and clothing
behind you.
It's part of building yourbrand and you have completely
curated your look for our calltoday and you know you are
highly creative, thank you.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
And.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I think there's something very magical about
when we can own something likethat, that it becomes something
that's intentional rather thanjust happens naturally.
It becomes something that wecan wield like a sword rather
than just wondering is it goingto happen this time or is it not
going to happen this time, ifthat makes sense.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Oh, yes, absolutely, Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (26:33):
Yeah, and I love the way you own it fully.
When we go and check you out onsocial media, you are the
closet queen.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Thank you, Dwight.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
I love that, you know , as two gay men, we love that.
As two gay men, we love thatCloset and queen are two terms
that are very, very well knownin our lives.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
So how has creativity changed the way you understand
yourself?
I think one thing, probably themost, max, is what you just hit
on Me always thinking I'm notcreative, but knowing that, yes,
I am right, in order to do whatI do, I need to be creative.
But I have never thought ofmyself in that way.
(27:37):
So to, I guess, to acknowledgethat I'm creative is I don't,
it's probably a little hard forme.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I just You're not alone, it is.
I have this conversation a lot,you know.
I literally will cornersomebody and say look me in the
eyes and say with conviction, Iam creative, or I am a creative.
And there's always this massiveshift as soon as they do.
I can feel it, I can see it andtheir shoulders drop a little
(28:14):
bit.
As they do.
I can feel it, I can see it andtheir shoulders drop a little
bit and they exhale and it'sjust like it's magic.
It's magic.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
It is.
I do that exercise.
I did a post on this probably acouple of years ago with women
postmenopausal women inparticular looking in the mirror
and saying to themselves inparticular, looking in the
mirror and saying to themselvesI am beautiful.
And being very serious aboutthat, because you know,
sometimes that's hard to do.
It sounds simple, I know, itsounds a little silly, but to
(28:43):
look at yourself in the mirrorand say I am beautiful, and then
I ask them to run through thatsentence emphasizing different
words.
So we start with I am beautiful, I am beautiful, I am beautiful
and I am beautiful.
It's so empowering and justthat simple exercise can really
(29:10):
make people see themselvesdifferently because they're
believing it.
And I'm probably aging myselfwhen I say this, but there used
to be a sketch on Saturday NightLive.
I can't remember the character,stuart.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Yes, Stuart Smalley.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
He would do his daily affirmations, was it?
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Stuart Smalley.
Was that what his name was?
Yes, I can't believe.
I even remember that.
I wasn't even a big fan ofSaturday Night Live, but I
remember Stuart Smalley.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yes, we just need to all Stuart Smalley a little bit
in our lives.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
You know, I think most human beings struggle just
to look into their own eyes in amirror and say nothing.
I agree, but to speak tothemselves on that level is
increasingly even morechallenging.
Yes, yeah, you know.
(30:05):
I know from my own experiencethat when you're working with a
client, you work with somepeople who have not just no
image, but they have a reallybad image, and what you do is,
(30:25):
in the truest sense of the word,transformation.
Yes, because it doesn't onlychange the way they look.
It changes the way they feelabout themselves and in turn it
changes the way people see them.
It is truly transformational.
I had a young woman one timethat after I finished cutting
(30:46):
her hair, I said just let metouch up your makeup.
She wasn't wearing any makeup,there wasn't really anything to
touch up.
So I put a little makeup on herand turned her back around to
the mirror and she was like oh,oh, that's not me.
And I could tell she was reallynervous and I just put just a
little bit on her and I squatteddown the chair next to her and
I looked her in the eyes and Isaid why are you so unwilling to
(31:10):
be pretty?
And she burst into tears andjust sat there and sobbed and I
just held space for her.
I never saw her again that shedidn't have just a little bit of
makeup on her face.
It changed something for her.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
Yeah, I think that's so important with what you just
said, because it's the allowingthemselves to be pretty, because
for some people, men and womenthey have not allowed themselves
to be that way, to feel thatway.
You know, it's kind of goesback to it's it's all in here,
(31:50):
right?
What's in here produces what'sout here.
So that's one reason I lovewhat I do, because I get to know
people.
So it's something as simple asa closet audit.
As we're talking, I'm startingto see the internal.
You know, I can't let go ofthose.
(32:11):
Carla, those are clothes I'mgoing to wear when he'll lose 40
pounds.
Oh, bite a nickel for everytime I'd be retired.
We don't hold on to thosethings because they're making
you just feel bad Every time youlook at those clothes you're
looking at I'm a failure, I'moverweight, I don't deserve.
(32:33):
We let go of all of that.
But all of that is emotional.
Yes, it is In our mind, it's inour heart and it shouldn't be
that way.
We should love who.
We are right there in theminute because, again, we're
beautiful.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
I have a burning question and this is a little
bit off topic.
It's less about creativity andmore just about what you do.
But when you see somebody thathas gone out of their way to
create an unattractive image andI see a lot of this, especially
in the creatives community whatdoes that tell you about them?
(33:16):
When you see somebody that'syou know, I laughingly and this
is probably I shouldn't feelgood about this, but I
laughingly will say to Dwight ohmy God, look at that outfit.
I mean, did they just stand inthe mirror this morning and say,
oh my God, I look fabulousBecause it's just the worst
(33:39):
outfit that you can possiblyimagine?
I mean, how did they look inthe mirror and walk outside
wearing that?
Speaker 1 (33:51):
What does it tell you when somebody goes out of their
way to look unattractive.
It's usually come from one oftwo places and I would say 99%
of it happens this way.
One is that it's something theywere told or taught from their
past.
So they're typically holding onto something that was told to
them 20 years ago, 30 years ago.
(34:13):
Told to them 20 years ago, 30years ago, and again it's the
emotion.
You see it a lot with folks whoyou know hey, the 80s or their
90s was their heyday, right?
That's when they were young andhip and attractive and living
the life.
And they're just not reallyaccepting getting older.
(34:33):
So they're hanging on to thatold style, thinking they look
younger, better, more attractiveand all you know mags from what
you did.
All it's doing is aging themand it gives that little sense
of desperation.
But it says I'm not happy withwho I am.
I want to go back into the daywhere I was.
(34:55):
That that's where I was happy.
So it's either that where thereit was something from their
past, or I see a lot of I justdon't know you and I have that
creative eye to look and say,hey, we can do better, right,
this isn't flattering, but forso many people they honestly,
(35:19):
truly just do not know, and Imean either they don't have the
eye for it or you know, I'mgoing to go back to kind of the
right and left brain.
You know where some people are,just more kind of that right
brain.
I think was not the creativeside.
(35:39):
So image is a something they dobecause they have to right, I
have to get understand or wantto do better.
But when I start asking thequestions, what are your goals?
Oh, I want to get promoted.
You know, I want to meetsomebody special when you start
(36:02):
asking those questions and thenyou can kind of relate what
their image is to where they areand help them see that that's
where the change starts, likewhen I do a lot of public
speaking, and so one of thefirst things I do when I sit
with a group is I'll say let'sdo an exercise.
I want everybody to write downthree things about themselves.
(36:25):
Right, so three words orphrases.
If you met somebody new andthey said, hey, maddox, tell me
about you.
What are three things that youwould say?
Right, then I ask them just totake a selfie.
Simple, let's just take aselfie.
And then I'll say, before youend your workday, I want you to
pull out that card of yourdescriptions and I want you to
(36:48):
pull out your phone of yourselfie and I want you to look at
those things and tell me ifthey match.
Do the three things that youhave said about yourself
describe the picture of you?
If there's a disconnect, thenwe need to talk right, we need
to fix that.
Speaker 2 (37:09):
Oh honey, you are so creative.
Oh my gosh.
I mean that's brilliant.
And you know, I'm sitting hererealizing that one of the hats
that you wear as a professionaldresser is you're coaching these
people yes, absolutely.
(37:31):
And not just on what to wear.
You're coaching them onsomething that's going on more
deeply inside of them.
Speaker 1 (37:41):
Yes, my goal is to educate my client.
I don't want you to hire me fora job.
I come in and do it leave andthen we don't speak.
I want to educate you.
So if I'm telling you ahigh-rise dark wash jean is what
looks best for you, I'm goingto tell you why.
And I'm going to show you why.
Because I want you to be ableagain see what I see, know what
(38:05):
I know.
If I've done that for you, thenI've done my job.
Anybody can come in into acloset and walk out the door.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
We are twins that were separated at birth.
This is exactly what I did withmy clientele.
I literally believed aneducated client is a better
client.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (38:23):
And I constantly got comments like no hairdresser's
ever told me this before ornobody's ever taken this much
time with me.
It was the way I set myselfapart and sounds like the way
you set yourself apart.
It's brilliant and it'screative.
Learning how the ways to setyourself apart is part of the
(38:44):
creativity.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
You're right, it is yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:48):
Hugely Wow.
Speaker 3 (38:52):
I love the way that the work that you do is so it's
like, internally driven, likethe way that you phrased that
people have that innate beauty,that that innate worth, and
somehow along the way they lostsight of it.
Somehow they're they're notable to appreciate it, and you
(39:17):
keep steering them there.
What do you do to overcomethose people who are so wounded
that it's hard for them to makethat connection, to really have
a chance of being able to seethat spark and that beauty that
you see?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
That.
I will tell you this, dwight.
I really had this experience.
So I had this client, beautifulwoman, had the most beautiful
blue eyes, amazing skin and thisdark red hair, and I mean I
really couldn't stop looking ather.
I just thought, oh my God,you're beautiful.
(39:56):
She had gone through menopause,had gained some weight and, as
we're talking and workingtogether, all she could do was
focus on her weight.
If I heard one time that shegained 20 pounds, I heard a
hundred times.
So I realized this is not aneasy.
I'm just going to tell you andshow you why this looks good on
(40:17):
you.
We have to dig deeper and, ofcourse, I don't have that much
time.
So what I really try to do inthat situation is focus on one
thing that they can agree with.
So I put it in front of amirror and I said okay, I get it
right.
We go through menopause, we'renot happy with our body Totally
understandable.
But tell me one thing you dolike about yourself.
(40:39):
Tell me one thing that youthink is truly attractive about
you, regardless of the weightgain.
There's got to be somethingthat you think is pretty.
Well, I like my hair color.
I agree with you.
So I told her all the reasonsthat I loved her hair color and
what it did for her.
So I said then why don't welook at some things that really
(41:00):
play up your hair color, right,don't?
Let's not look at tags andnumbers and letters.
Let's just focus right now onsome things that really play up
your hair color.
Because, I agree with you, Ithink you have the most
beautiful hair color.
So we took it that way and I'vehad people come back to me I
(41:22):
style for a boutique here athome that I haven't seen in a
year and they remember mebecause of that.
Why?
It's not because I put her inthe right color, it's because of
the way I made her feel.
It's because of what I showedher that she sees.
Is that woman still complainingabout her weight gain?
Probably, as we all would, butI hope I left her with a bit of
(41:47):
beauty, something that shewasn't focusing on that she can
focus on now.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
Carla, creativity is oozing out of every pore of your
entire body.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (42:02):
Max, you are so good for my ego, I'm telling you.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
I mean just your way of looking at things and your
way of relating andcommunicating.
It's all highly creative ofrelating and communicating.
It's all highly creative.
I mean you are a master atproblem solving.
They come in, they've got aproblem and you are immediately
working to solve that problem.
(42:26):
The workarounds, the thingsthat, wow, you know I can tell
you're very good at what you do.
Thank you, thank you so as acreative, as a stylist.
What does success look like toyou?
(42:47):
How do you define success?
Find, success?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
You know I have struggled with that question.
In fact today on the way home Iwas thinking about that and I
thought to be successful and I'msure a lot of us go there is
these things would have tohappen right, and part of it is
(43:13):
usually financial, part of it'sprofessional.
As a Christian I know that's notthe right answer.
I know to be truly successfulis to.
I believe, for me to leavepeople feeling their best, not
(43:34):
even so much looking their best,but I think about my friends
and how much I love them and howmuch they mean to me and I hope
that I give them the joy andthe love that they bring to me.
So success on the personal endis that, but professionally as
well, I hope that when I workwith people I have made a
(43:59):
difference, a positive change,even if it's small, something
that they walk away with, andnow they're a little bit better
off than when they first came tome.
If I could do that for everyclient I have, I really feel
like I'd be successful, becauseI believe if you do the work and
you do it right and you do itwell, the other stuff comes the
(44:21):
income, the money, therecognition, all of that, but
you got to get it right on thefront end.
So that's what I hope that I'mdoing.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
You know the money comes and goes and at the end of
your life you won't be lookingback on how much money you made,
but you'll be thinking aboutthe people whose lives you've
touched.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
The impact and that ripple effect.
I think that now would be a agood time to take a look at your
definition of success and thinkabout how there might just be
the right person listening thatcould do things to really push
(45:15):
you toward what it is, that youneed to really be at the
pinnacle, to have achievedeverything that you want, to
unlock everything, and so I'llpose what's really kind of the
big question what is yourbiggest pain point?
What is the challenge that, ifsolved, would be the game
(45:41):
changer?
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Of course, dwight, you had to ask me that hard
question.
So I would really say the painpoint for me is to for it's
getting people to realize thevalue of themselves, to
understand how strong andpowerful their image is and,
(46:10):
again, not to talk about theclothes.
And I'm going to quote one ofmy very favorite icons in the
world, stacey London, who Idon't know if y'all know who she
is, but she's a professionalstylist.
She used to co-host what Not toWear and she said it a hundred
times it's not about the clothes, it's never been about the
clothes, I agree.
(46:32):
Clothes, it's never been aboutthe clothes, I agree.
What I wish is that I could getevery person to see their own
inner strength, their own innerbeauty and therefore liberate
themselves and I use that wordquite a bit from you know the
chains of life, if you will.
You know the chains of life, ifyou will.
(46:53):
But the things holding themback insecurity, self-doubt, not
knowing their self-worth, notknowing their own inner strength
and value to others, how theycan positively affect their
community, whether it's family,friends, whatever.
If I could really get people tounderstand that, that's truly
(47:15):
what I do, dwight.
That is my pain point.
It's really getting people pastthe idea of Carla can put me in
clothes.
I mean, anybody can put you inclothes.
An app can put you in clothes.
You know, it's kind of thatwhole like AI can do what I do,
but I can truly make a personaldifference in your life that
(47:41):
makes a personal difference toothers.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Wow, I think you've just sold it.
I mean what you just said ifit's not already needs to be
part of your marketing.
I love the quote, your icon.
It's not about the clothes.
That's a beautiful starter.
It's not about the clothes.
(48:08):
Let me tell you what I do andwhy it's so valuable.
We do do clothing and it's notabout the clothes.
Yeah, you will crack that nut.
As creative as you are and youknow you get the value of
(48:28):
community and not trying tofigure it all out on your own,
there'll be somebody that willcontribute and help you crack
that nut.
Speaker 3 (48:46):
I've got to say that this has been a wonderful and
moving experience for us, and Iwould hope that anyone who is
listening might listen a fewtimes, because there are lots of
beautiful pearls in this andplease share this with people
(49:07):
who need to hear it.
I think that there are a lot ofpeople who have a lot of things
that are holding them back andmaking them feel less than and
they they really need the kindof encouragement and the kind of
way that you shine a light onon their beauty, to show them
(49:28):
there's another way.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Thank you, dwight.
Yes, and I did want to just addthis one thing too If you look
at really successful people inlife, they will tell you this
it's okay to fail.
To fail means you tried.
So I tell people experimentwith your style.
It's style is an art, right,maddox, it's.
(49:51):
This is art.
This is not science, it's art.
I tell people.
Look at some of my past posts.
I posted stuff and thought what, why, why was I even wearing
that?
Like, what did I have on thatday?
I specifically remember drivinghome one day and I called my
best friend.
I was like, if you could seewhat I have on today and I told
somebody what I do, they wouldbe like get out of here you.
(50:14):
It's okay to make mistakes.
That's how you learn.
It's the joy of doing, ofexpressing yourself, kind of
like, maddox, what you weresaying earlier.
Like when somebody has a reallypoorly put together outfit and
is not projecting the rightimage, why do they even do that,
right?
Why do they not know?
It's okay, you guys, it's amistake, right, you wore
(50:35):
something that just didn't work,but you're willing to put
yourself out there, right,dwight?
Because we hear this quite abit.
It's putting yourself out thereto say I'm not the best dressed
, and that's okay, because I'mnot trying to be the best
dressed, but I'm trying to bethe best version of myself and
(50:55):
it's a process and it's okay ifI'm not there today.
It might take me years to getthere, but I can have the joy of
going through the journey,getting there and making some
really lovely contacts along theway and making some really
lovely contacts along the way.
Speaker 2 (51:16):
Beautiful, you know, I just want to leave you with
this, carla, you absolutely arechanging lives.
You know, I think it's MayaAngelou who says people won't
remember what you did, peoplewon't remember what you said,
but they'll remember how youmade them feel, and I know how
you have made me feel in thishour of being with you.
(51:39):
And we didn't touch my wardrobe.
So, you know, I just think thatyou are on track.
You know, I just hope you hearthat you are really on track.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
This has been such a pleasure.
I've so enjoyed thisconversation.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
I have too.
I have too.
I just cannot thank you bothenough for allowing me to come
in and pop into your world foran hour today.
I've just, I've truly enjoyedit and very honored and blessed
to be here.
So thank you.
Speaker 3 (52:17):
Thank you.
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