Ep 55: With Siblings ~ Daniela Coats

Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Fostering Conversations, host Amy and co-host Liz Rivera welcome Daniela, founder of With Siblings. Daniela shares her unique perspective as a former biological child (“bio kid”) in a foster family and now as a foster/adoptive parent, social worker, and therapist. Together, they dive into the complex dynamics of supporting bio kids in foster and adoptive families, exploring their experiences, emotions, and needs.

Topics Covered:

• Daniela’s journey growing up as a bio kid in a fostering family and how it shaped her professional path and personal life.
• The importance of giving bio kids a voice in fostering and adoption decisions.
• The challenges bio kids face, from feelings of being replaced to adapting to shifting family dynamics.
• Insights on fostering strong sibling relationships and managing grief and loss within the family.
• The significance of balancing bio kids’ needs with those of children in care.
• How parents and professionals can better support bio kids using tools, training, and open communication.
• Daniela’s resources, including her trainings, worksheets, and her book, The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible, inspired by real bio kid experiences.

Key Takeaways:

• All Kids Matter: Supporting children in foster care is essential, but bio kids also face unique challenges and deserve attention, empathy, and resources.
• Open Communication: Parents should involve bio kids in decisions and validate their feelings to foster a sense of inclusion and understanding.
• Realistic Expectations: Foster parenting is hard but rewarding. Embrace the challenges with knowledge, tools, and the shared experiences of others.
• Educational Resources: Daniela’s work fills a crucial gap in the foster care space, providing actionable insights and support for both families and professionals.

Connect with Daniela:

• Website: WithSiblings.org
• Instagram: @WithSiblings
• Explore her book: The Day Lily Turned Uninvisible and other free resources on her site.

Special Thanks: Thank you to Daniela for her candid and invaluable insights and for the incredible training and resources she provides for Utah Foster Care and families everywhere.

Stay Connected: For more episodes, visit Utah Foster Care. Don’t forget to follow us on social media and subscribe to Fostering Conversations wherever you get your podcasts!

Guest Bio

“Daniela is the founder of With Siblings, an organization that exists to support the birth children in foster and adoptive families by equipping parents and professionals through training and resources. 

Daniela is a self-identified birth kid. Her parents fostered when she was a child, and eventually adopted her youngest sibling. Having grown up in a home that fostered and adopted, Daniela was a temporary sibling to many children. Now, Daniela and her husband have children by both birth and adoption. 

While Daniela has a variety of experience in social work contexts, she has spent most of her career working in foster care and adoption. Daniela Coats is a Licensed Master Social Worker in the state of Texas. She is currently a therapist under supervision at Be Still Counseling and Consulting in Texas.  She has contributed to professional writings on the subject, and is the author of The Day Lily Turned (un)Invisible, a children’s book written specifically for biological kids in