December 13, 2024 • 42 mins
In our latest episode of Foxhole Symphony, we welcome Jarrett Samuels, the dynamic force behind the Pursuit of Manliness podcast, who shares his incredible journey from merely existing to living a purpose-driven life of faith. Jarrett opens up about his transformative experiences, from his childhood in the church to the birth of his son, which reignited his commitment to God. His story is a testament to how renewed faith can reshape personal roles and mission, impacting his life as a husband, father, and pastor.
Listen as we uncover Jarrett's passion for building a global community of men focused on spiritual growth and genuine connections. Learn how "The Tribe," a community that started from a simple Facebook post, grew into a comprehensive discipleship program, bringing men together through daily Bible readings and weekly challenges. Jarrett also introduces "The Herd," a platform offering exclusive content and retreat experiences, and discusses the unique challenges introverts might face in these communities. The discussion highlights the power of finding godly men who inspire and support one another, creating a kingdom-minded network that transcends generations.
Dive into a compelling exploration of authenticity, vulnerability, and heart change in men's groups, as Jarrett emphasizes the importance of honest relationships within families and communities. We discuss the significance of being proactive in one's faith journey and the need to protect one's heart from bitterness. Hear inspiring stories of men who have found strength through community connections, and discover upcoming retreats and initiatives designed to foster a stronger, more connected community. This episode is filled with practical insights and encouragement for men seeking to embrace authentic masculinity through faith and fellowship.
We have BIG plans at Foxhole Symphony and sure could use your financial support. Would you prayerfully consider a small monthly contribution to support us in our mission to catalyze transformation in the hearts of men? Support Our Mission
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Foxhole Symphony, a podcast about the
transformational value of men inauthentic community.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
In our foxhole.
Men are equipped to buildrelationships that foster
belonging, accountability andgrowth.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Stop believing the lie that you can thrive in
isolation and instead join us onthe journey from broken to
whole.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Hello everyone.
They call me the Maestro and weare back in the foxhole where
we actively pursue belonging,accountability and growth
through authentic relationships.
No masks, no agendas, just iron, sharpening iron.
Steve and Mark are in thefoxhole and they have a special
guest joining them today.
It's going to be a good one.
(00:48):
Get comfortable, open yournotes app and let's get started.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hey, welcome back to Foxhole Symphony Podcast.
I'm Sarge here with my goodbuddy, mark hey brother, how are
you?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
That's me hitting the microphone, sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, baby, hey, listen.
Normally we'll spend about fiveminutes talking about the
weather differences betweenJersey and Florida.
Instead of doing that, I'm soexcited about our guest today.
I want to jump right in andmake the most of our time.
And so why don't you?
Why don't you tee him up?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Sure, sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, this isJared Samuels.
He's the creator of the Pursuitof Manliness podcast, among
other things.
And, jared, welcome to theFoxhole.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Hey man, Thank you for letting me be on your show
with you.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Oh, it's great to have you and, as I said to you
off air, I think we have somethings in common that'll make
this fun.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, brother.
So listen, I want to just kickus off.
I mean, we, um I definitelywant to save time to get to the
pursuit of manliness, uh,because it is so close to to our
hearts, uh, the Fox hall, andMark and I personally, um, just
just love what you're doing andwant people to hear more about
that.
But I'd love to just start witha little bit about your journey
(02:01):
, man.
What brought you to the pursuitof manliness?
And just tell us a little bitabout your journey.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
You know, the truth is I was raised in church.
It didn't take.
Now it's on me and I kind ofhad to go just live this
disaster of a life.
And it got to a point on theY2K when everyone's computer was
going to go collapse.
I didn't have anything so Ididn't worry about any of my
technology.
But there was a gathering at ourlittle town a day or two after
(02:31):
January 1st 2000.
So probably January 3rd-ish,there's a guy speaking and he
has this altar call and I'mthere by myself.
I don't know what I'm doingthere, but I'm there and I
thought you know what, I knowwhat's right and I know what I
need to do.
So I went forward and God and Ikind of had a conversation,
just he and I.
Nobody was with me, nobodyhugged me, nobody touched me,
nothing.
I turned around and I think Ijust walked right out of the
(02:52):
arena.
I just walked to my car andwent home and I thought what am
I going to do now?
So fortunately I was friendswith this girl.
Her dad was my pastor and nowshe's my wife.
And so here I am, you know,fast forwarding all this time.
But man, I end up feeling thatGod's called a ministry, all
this stuff.
And the problem I'm getting tois I just was going through the
motions.
(03:12):
I wasn't a bad guy, I justwasn't a man of God.
I was a Christian man, I was apastor, I was a husband, as a
father, and it was the day thatmy son was born, where he had a
collapsed lung.
We're in the NICU.
I'm throwing off all thesepopcorn prayers and I just
prayed God, if you'll help thisboy fight, then I'll fight.
And I remember thinking that'sthe dumbest thing I've ever
heard, because there was nofight in me, I was just existing
(03:32):
.
Fast forward two years later,man, the Holy Spirit just
reminds me of those words andfrom that moment on there's been
a fire kindled inside me and mywife has told me twice now and
I don't have it recorded eithertime.
I wish I did.
She said I've been married totwo guys.
I had the guy I was married toand now I have a man of God.
And I can't make her say that.
I wish I could.
I wish I could make her saythat.
(03:53):
But that's her seeing adifference in me that she sees
day in and day out.
So, by the grace of God, Love.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
that.
That's amazing.
It's amazing.
You said a lot in that short,short bit of time, like wow.
So so what did life look like?
I mean, I think you know, whenyou say like man of God, the
words that come to mind and thewords I tend to use are you know
when, when a man's faith islike truly activated, you know
(04:22):
like there's this activationpoint where they come alive in
Christ right, and they becomeclear on their mission and
purpose, and you know who theyare in Christ and all and all
their roles, whether it behusband, dad, you know, friend,
boss, whatever it is.
What did life look like priorto that for you?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Well, like I said, I felt God's call to ministry.
I went back to school, I get mydegree, all this stuff and I'm
fast forward, a lot of thingshere but I was a good pastor.
I worked my tail off, I worked.
I was a children's pastor, Imean, I tried to do all these
good things.
But Proverbs talks about thesluggard and I definitely wasn't
a sluggard at the office, but Iwas a sluggard at home.
(05:06):
I'll give you an example.
I remember sitting in my livingroom watching a football game
I'm working on my little TV trayand my MacBook on family
ministry and how we got to getthis family ministry figured out
and my message and whatever.
And in the back room my wifewas with our one-year-old,
two-year-old daughter and she'sreading her Bible stories every
night.
And I'm sitting there thinkingyou are a hypocrite.
(05:28):
Here you are saying we need todo this.
And I always thought well,she's little, there's no.
Well, doggone it.
She's 19 years old now andgoing off to school.
It's amazing how quick thathappens.
And so I was.
Like I said, I was a Christianman.
Christian men are safe.
They don't cuss a lot, you know.
They're pretty good to bearound.
They're not going to get you introuble, whatever.
A man of God is different.
(05:49):
A man of God's presence isdifferent.
Their investment's different.
They give more than they take.
They understand the law ofcultivation Like there's a
switch that flips and I don'tthink you can go back once it
flips, once your, once yourheart is is turned that way.
Look out and you're about toget real uncomfortable, in a
good way man, that is, um, thatis so awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Um, I love just the words that you're using are so
powerful and, and you knowmark's grinning and I'm grinning
because we've seen it, we'veexperienced it and we've seen it
and and you know, we've beentalking about how men are dying
in the pews and and people kindof look at us sideways a little
bit, that you know they're likeconfused by that, you know in
some respects, but they're just,you know, a bit asleep at the
(06:35):
wheel, right, good, good, decentChristian men, right, no, no,
the Lord, but they're justchugging along, right, and um,
what you're talking about is isis very, very different.
Um, man, I just, I just lovethat, mark, jump in.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Sure I I.
What I love about Jarrett andwhat I've learned in listening
to him you know, with with otherpodcasts, guests on on his uh,
on Palm is that he doesn't spenda lot of time looking back.
You notice, like you're askinghim about who he is and what he
is, what he's done and he'stalking about from here forward,
forward, and I love that that.
(07:13):
That's so us.
We have this bias, we call it abias towards action Jared, and
it's all driven by the Holyspirit of like, well, what can
we do for the Lord next?
And we are reminded in thatconversation and Sarge is
actually very good at this, I'mnot maybe not so much me, but
the being still like just takinga deep breath and thinking
(07:34):
through, you know, giving theLord a chance and getting out of
his way.
I have a couple of bar stoolshere behind me and I always joke
with Sarge.
I'm like, lord, can you justsit right there and I'll be
right with you and I'll getright to you as soon as I need
you.
I'm going to, I'm going to dothis in my own strength and then
I'll get to you when thingsdon't work out my way.
That's one of the laments of mylife is putting putting Jesus
(07:56):
in the corner.
Can you relate to that?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Oh, a hundred percent .
I there's been so many timeswhere I've just smacked the wall
in burnout.
You know I'd have all thesetasks and all these things and
what I would recognize everyonce in a while is there's no
substance to it.
There was no growth.
I mean, you can, you can kickout, you guys can kick out a
podcast today, every day, butthat doesn't mean there's any
substance to it.
There's no real growth.
And I think you have to havesome mile markers.
You have to pause long enough.
There is a time to look back,like there's a time to say, okay
(08:27):
, where have I gone and I callit inventory your life.
Well, I've looked at like,where I've lived, my ministries,
I've been a part of thosethings, like people that God has
placed in my life.
But I need to identify the nowand the next and you can forget
all this stuff If you don't havea quiet time with the Lord
every day.
None of this is all justbravado If you don't pause long
enough, get in the word and havethat personal worship time
(08:49):
where you're in it every singleday.
I mean hardly no misses, none,if you can avoid it.
So just making that a priority,otherwise we're just doing
hoorah, we just sell t-shirts.
We just have a thing that lookslike a firework.
It goes off and then it's gone.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
The only way, any of this stuff is sustainable, is
walking with the Lord and you'regoing to go at his pace.
We agree.
Now I'm going to jump ontosomething that obviously is very
near and dear to your heart.
You pull up your webpage andit's Quiet Life Community.
You just talked about it.
Tell us what Quiet LifeCommunity is.
It says welcome to the QuietLife Community, right?
Speaker 4 (09:24):
What does that mean?
Yeah, it's from 1 Thessalonians, 4, 11 and 12, aspire to live a
quiet life, mind your ownaffairs, work with your hands,
be thought well by outsiders andto be not to be dependent on
anybody.
And that was a verse thatreally like grabbed my heart
during COVID.
You know, everything is weird.
During COVID, as a pastor, Ifelt like it was my job to
(09:44):
rah-rah the church and, come on,we can do this.
And actually I just talkedabout it Sunday, you know, just
looking back and thinking that'snot me, you know.
And so I just told them fromnow on, this is what I'm doing,
this is where we're going.
We're going to preach Jesus.
This is what we're about, andthat quiet life is.
We're not.
Most, most Christians aren'tgoing to be the loudest.
I'm never going to be on thecorner with a sandwich board and
(10:04):
a megaphone yelling at you, butI am going to look for
opportunities where I can askhow I can pray for you or
encourage you, or discipleshipis something that I'm really
about.
Looking for those things thataren't flashy, aren't fun.
It's like saving money it'snever fun until you need it.
It's like reading books.
You don't get any awards forreading books, but you're kind
of building that library ofJesus in your heart and in your
(10:24):
head.
Then you're able to pull fromthat and that's where wisdom and
application comes.
So, yeah, and I changed thename to A Quiet Life and some
guys didn't like it and I'm likeI don't know what to tell you.
This is what it is.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I love it.
I love it too, especially now,just given our culture.
You know these, these last fewyears, or even even the last 10
years, 15 years.
You know just the, the noise,the, the, the social media, the
influencer culture, the megachurch, the celebrity pastor,
the, you know all of that noise,rah, rah, rah, and and and
(11:01):
noise.
And you know, to live a life ofsignificance right, you know,
means something drasticallydifferent to different people,
Right, and and and what you'retalking about, you know, living
that, that quiet life thatyou're referring to, man,
there's, there's no greatersignificance, Right, but the
world, the world would look atthat and say what is that?
(11:25):
Right, you know?
And so, yeah, that's, it'shonorable, it's honorable and,
of course, biblical.
Absolutely, Go ahead, I'm sorry.
Well, it's honorable, it'shonorable and, of course,
biblical.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Absolutely Go ahead.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Well, it's like what you guys do.
If you guys decide to run abunch of ads, you would have
thousands of listeners, You'dhave thousands of downloads.
That doesn't mean anybody isgetting anything from it.
You know like it's not hard tothrow out the smoke and mirrors,
and so it's literally oneperson at a time.
Years ago I met this guy, DeanTroon.
He became a mentor of mine fora number of years and I didn't
(11:55):
meet him until he was 67.
And I remember I was in my 30sand I told my wife, if I don't
have an impact on anyone's lifelike Dean has on my life until
I'm 67, I'm going to be okaywith that.
And so you never know, whenthere's someone that God's going
to place in your life thatyou're going to just maybe
change the course of the waythey think or treat people, make
disciples, evangelize the losthey, in due time God cares more
(12:17):
about those people than we do.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
First of all, it took about 10 minutes for us to
realize Jared has a strongmessage.
He's just who we thought hemight be, and hallelujah for
that.
So, jared, the herd and thetribe I want you to tell us.
I looked at your site, justlooked at you know, I clicked
all through it.
But the message you clearly canarticulate and you can tell the
(12:40):
passion you have, you'resharing it with other men.
You're not keeping thisimportant message to yourself.
You're telling you're a pastor,you're telling congregation,
you're obviously telling othermen pursuit of manliness, you
have retreats, et cetera.
Tell us about the herd and thetribe and then let's talk about
the message you're giving to men, please.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Well first of all, the tribe started with a post.
I think it was December of 2017.
I made a Facebook post in ourwhat is now Quiet Life group and
just said you know, like whatdo you need in the following
year to really grow as a man?
And somebody in there left acomment who said a friend, and I
thought me too, because I wasat a new town, new ministry, new
church.
I didn't have any friends, andI thought me too.
So, within about 45 minutes,tribe was born.
(13:21):
I thought, all right, we'rejust jumping out of this
airplane.
So I started reaching out toguys.
I reached out to that guy.
We had 10 guys who committed todoing this six-month
discipleship journey.
I had it laid out, the wholedeal Within the first I don't
know month six of the 10 quit.
So I thought we're really doingsomething right here, I'm
kidding.
And so I decided, all right,let's cut that.
And then I charged money forthe next time, which is, you
(13:44):
know, but what the point was.
Looking at, what does this needto be?
So, essentially, tribe is a sixmonth discipleship community
and we have daily Bible reading.
We have weekly challenges thatwe do.
We have, you know, 20, almost30 zoom calls.
Within that six month sessionwe do a few marriage zoom calls.
They have some things whereguys can meet up.
(14:04):
It's global.
We have guys in other countriesAustralia, uk and Canada.
Right now We've had Japan andNigeria and other places but
they're all part of one tribe.
They're broken into point mangroups.
So if you're in a tribe of 100plus guys, well you're in a
point man group of like 15.
And they're based on yourregion.
So guys in Missouri and Iowa,they're all together.
So if you wanted to meet up,it's easy to do that.
(14:26):
And then that has grown andwe're getting ready to start
session 15 in a bit.
But the herd was just somethingextra.
You know, I had these guys thatwere buying the patches and the
hats and everything I did and Ithought what can I give them?
That's low hanging fruit, thatis of substance and you know,
maybe we kind of build a uniquecommunity there and that's where
the herd came and basicallythey get bonus podcast content
(14:48):
on Mondays and we've done somethings at the retreat where they
get to come early and hang outand stuff.
So yeah, it's just been neat tosee that come to fruition.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's great, yeah, very cool, okay.
So, taking simply that you haveaccess, you've decided to lead
these men and, like you said,you have it all laid out.
You have a six month plan.
You've had experience now withmore than 10 men.
Right, there are hundreds, itsounds like.
But what are you seeing?
(15:17):
What are you seeing in mentoday all around the world that
lifts your spirit?
What do you sense is happening?
And, by the way, I'm going toalso ask you what you're seeing
that deflates you.
You know what also concerns you, that you're seeing about men
around the world.
So let's start with what liftsyou.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Well, the first thing is there's some really sound
godly men out there.
I know sometimes we have thatElijah complex.
Right, there's nobody left.
Just take me now.
Lord, you know it's over andGod said I got a bunch.
You know, it's like if you wentto a church and you had two or
(15:55):
three guys who really get it,and you went to another church,
there's two or three guys thatreally get it.
Imagine if you could take allthose guys together what you
could do.
And that's kind of what tribeis in some ways.
You have these high caliberhumans.
It has never come and sit atJared's feet.
Everything is cyclical.
I do everything they do.
Everybody gets to talk on Zoomcalls.
It's not me teaching them,talking at them, and so what
(16:15):
happens is I learned thateverybody has something to add
to the conversation, but a wholebunch to take away.
We're all more insecure thanwe'd like to admit, but when we
get around other guys and you go, I got that same deal.
Yeah, I stink at praying withmy wife too.
Well, let's hold each otheraccountable and make sure we
don't keep stinking at prayingwith our wives.
We're seeing the wives start tobecome friends.
In some cases we're seeing thekids connect like these guys.
(16:39):
Kids bring them to the retreatand connect.
So that's moving out of thisman thing into a.
Now this is a kingdom thing.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
That's sorry.
Ripples, right?
Yeah, absolutely, we understand.
We did a couple of episodes.
I can't help myself, but theripple effect of what God is up
to is pretty amazing if youthink about it.
But thank you, that's a greatanswer.
So, conversely, can you speakto what you're seeing in the
men's community around the worldthat concerns you today?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Well, we hide.
Well, you know, I meaneveryone's like well, I'm an
introvert, I'm a Lone Ranger, weall are okay, like most a lot
of people are, so we hide.
Well, I think it's easy tostart things, it's hard to
finish things.
We don't really wantaccountability.
We say we do, but the realityis we oftentimes want a life
coach.
We want someone to say now, didyou tuck your kids in it?
(17:32):
No, forget that.
Like, get on, let's do thethings we said we're going to do
.
And so when those things happen, again back to that point.
Every guy's got insecurities,every guy's got things that we
worry about.
Do I measure up?
And for some men they justcan't overcome it.
I remember seeing a guy at oneof our zoom calls.
He sent me a message.
He said I think I'm in thewrong space.
And what he meant was boy, whatthey're talking about just is
I'm just not ready for this.
And I said, no, you're exactlyin the right space.
(17:52):
But I couldn't convince himotherwise.
Now this guy does something onhis side thing and I see that he
leads classes and stuff.
And I thought what would happenif someone went up to him and
said I think I'm in the wrongclass.
I think he would tell them no,you're in the right class, but
when it came to spiritual,spiritual things, he quit.
And I think it's easy to quitspiritual things, and then we
just kind of masquerade as aChristian when in reality
(18:13):
there's no fruit coming from ourlife.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Sorry, it sounds a lot like caves.
We had a.
We speak about caving up.
Men have this.
What we've learned we'recalling men out of the darkness
because we're so darn good atno-transcript.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I like to be comfortable, right, uh, and so
you know, um, you know there's Idon't know what it is exactly
other than the Holy Spirit, orjust suffering, or coming to the
end of yourself, the end ofyour rope, or some dire
circumstances, right, or severeloneliness, or whatever it is
(19:24):
that causes a man to say youknow what, I want, that I want
that you know, I want to sign upfor that painful part, you know
really what's funny is we dothis tribe and we have these
challenges and stuff andchallenge.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Some of them are really hard.
Some of them are like what sinis so easily entangling you?
You know what you know therethere's things that, like you
don't talk about in your men'sministry.
And then there's lightheartedones too, but I've seen this
every set.
We've done four retreats andevery single year there'll be a
couple of guys who will say man,I was really nervous to get out
of the car and I said we're not, eharmony, what were you
worried about?
Like well, we don't, we don't,what do you?
(20:05):
And they're like well, I justdidn't know and I just you know
they're worried about likeeveryone's a friend and I don't
care.
We got guys in all walks oflife.
Nobody is here concerned if youmeasure up to them.
No, that's not.
And the nice thing is, ifyou're willing to talk through
these things, by the time you goto grab a burger or you go for
a hike, whatever, I already knowyou're a mess man.
(20:25):
We don't have to rehash itthere's.
Let's move forward and let'sjust become better.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Right, yeah, whatever it is we're hiding, whatever it
is we're fearful of right, allthese ideas that in our head of
what we might be asked to do orwhat's going on out there, right
.
But then you know, as soon asthere's a taste of true,
authentic godly intimacy rightIn in in relationship, all of a
(20:49):
sudden it's like you knowinsatiable right, like I need
more of that, like I didn't, Ididn't realize this even existed
.
This is what I've been lookingfor, this is what God intended,
right.
And then, and then they're justall in.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Wow, yeah, I'd say you can expedite the growth in
your life by getting around highcaliber guys.
But when I started to lookaround, when I started feeling
the stirring in my spirit, Iwasn't a high caliber guy.
So you often attract what youare and so as I grew, the group
grew.
As the group grows, I grow.
It's very cyclical because Igot people on the other side of
(21:23):
this wall who need me to getthis right and if I can show up
better for them and leave alasting impact on their life,
man, this is worth it.
But if I just pump fake peopleall day long and tell you how
wonderful I am and they hate me,then I'm a fraud, you know, and
then you get to end your lifeWell it's so empty.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
What do you mean by high caliber?
What I mean?
Speaker 4 (21:44):
is like they don't settle for the crummy excuses.
You know guys will say, man, Ijust I can't get up on time.
What do you mean?
You can't get up?
Well, how old are you?
Like my 11 year old, I'm wakinghim up for school.
I, you shouldn't be waking upyour 41 year old, right?
Like well, I just can't, or Ijust don't, or I just I forgot,
or I just like.
There are people and I forgiveme how this is going to sound
(22:05):
but I've said to guys like howdid you ever make a child?
Like you can't figure out howto do basic downloadable PDFs or
to follow through on a textmessage or to reply to an email
how did?
How did you ever make a kid?
How did you ever get a job?
And some guys just live in thisacceptable incompetence their
whole life because their wifewill pick up their slack.
(22:26):
Their kids don't even expectanything out of them anymore.
Their boss knows that they'rejust going to do the minimum and
I'm like that's a crap.
And then all they're trying todo is die the safest, and that's
a terrible way to live.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Right oh man Expectation right.
Yeah, and the limiting, I meanthe limiting beliefs and the
limiting factor of that, likeyou said, I mean living in that
sort of complacency, thatcomplacent incompetence and just
you know, lie under the radar.
I mean what a waste of time andenergy and oxygen.
(22:59):
You know life.
I mean that.
I mean honestly right, likeimagine what the world would
look like if you know the, thehigh caliber, you know men with
intentionality and intensity andintimacy, were leading
themselves and those in theirsphere of influence With that
(23:20):
type of intentionality andcaliber man.
The world would be a differentplace.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
I spent about 30 some years of just going through the
motions Christian man, pastor,husband, father, whatever.
I look back on that guy now andI punch him in the face Like
there's a picture of me beforemy son was born.
I'm like that guy doesn't havea clue.
But I also look back and thinkwhat were you doing?
Like?
What did you spend your timedoing?
Like, where, where was youreffort and energy?
(23:46):
Like I can't even.
It is literally like a switchhas flipped.
You can you can turn the lighton in a dark room and you see
what's there.
You can turn it off and pretendlike it's not all there, but
it's still there.
So once that switch is flipped,you're like there's no going
back.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, Not that this even matters, but I'm just
curious.
Let me just preface it withthat Do you have a sense of, or
have you encountered, um, what?
What have you encountered inthe way of response from your
message and what you're doingwith the pursuit of manliness
(24:21):
from other sort of Christiancommunities?
Is it, is it embraced, Is it,is it welcomed or is it, you
know?
Is it, uh, not so much?
Speaker 4 (24:31):
No, I mean, hey, I'm good If you're talking like
bigger names.
No, they probably don't know Iexist and that's okay.
You guys talk about running it.
I don't run ads.
I ran one ad.
I got much like crazies I saiddelete it, I'm done running that
ad.
So it's been very much of amosaic.
You know those who are there.
It's one or two at a time.
Whatever it's guys inviting, Ithink you know we're not for
(24:56):
everybody, right, and sosometimes the way that I
communicate or whatever, somepeople think you're being phony.
I'm literally in my garage.
Tomorrow I'll put that door upand I'll make a video of me
looking out to the drivewayabout a thought for 59 seconds,
like it's real simple and basic.
But I think the key is justjust stay in the course.
You know, and like I commendyou guys for doing this for
(25:16):
three years, there's a lot ofguys that don't do it past 12
months.
I mean they don't even get thatfar down the road.
So the fact that you're doingit shows where your heart really
is.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah, yeah, it matters.
I mean we, we believe this,this, this message matters.
It matters.
I mean, we believe this messagematters and God is, you know,
raising up, you know, an army,an army of soldiers.
You know in his army, right Fora time such as this, and I
(25:51):
think it's an important time,and you know a critical point in
history and you know it's asyou look back, you know as we
look back right to our formerselves.
You know the sad part is like,you know, I would guess you know
you didn't know, you didn'tknow what you didn't know right,
and I didn't either.
Right, it took, it took.
You know me, you know reachingout to somebody saying like man,
(26:13):
I don't, I don't think this isall I'm supposed to be.
You know like there's a and youknow somebody, and then I got
connected to Mark and he ignoredmy, my phone calls and email
for about three months before hefinally responded and then
things got under way.
I deny that, but, but, but youknow, like the truth, you know
the the message does have to getout, you know, because guys
(26:36):
don't know, you know that theydon't know, they're just living
the life that they think theyshould be living, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, I'm just want to grab that Sarge because I was
thinking about what, what Jaredsaid a little bit ago about the
retreats and the guy gets outof the car and he's like I'm
nervous about doing this and I'mreminded and we've all read
John Eldredge, right, we loveWild at Heart and our brother
Chris Bruno.
Both were saying that mencontinue, adult men, good men,
(27:07):
christian men, are askingthemselves do I have what it
takes?
Right that question, do I havewhat it takes?
Do I have what it takes?
How many men over the yearshave we all met that are still
asking themselves.
Now, we've been that event thatSarge was lovingly referring to
Jared about showing up at mydoor and my ignoring him is
mostly true.
It happened about 19, 20 yearsago and I had a men's group
(27:32):
meeting in my basement which methere for 18 years Every other
Thursday, called the Band ofBrothers.
Shocking, it came out aroundthe time that the Band of
Brothers came out.
But watch, I look back and thatjust ended this past June.
I look back and say almost to aman they stop and show up, just
(27:53):
nervous wrecks, and they'reasking that key question Do I
have what it takes?
Have you seen this manifestitself in the herd and in the
tribe in your retreats.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
All the time, all the time, you know.
First of all say, if guys getin tribe and they think they're
awesome, they're not usuallylong for tribe because we don't
think you're awesome, because wedon't care, we got, we got our
stuff to worry about.
Right, I got my own junk, but Ifound, like, when guys are just
real and I use the term bluecollar I grew up in a blue
collar home and I mean you, justyou answer the bell every day,
(28:26):
you go to work, you pay yourbills, you mow your grass, you
love your whatever.
That's all.
We're not, we're just doingthat.
But what we found is evenonline and even in men's groups,
you can still pump fake peopleand you can tell them it's all
good when it's not good.
And I'll never forget a guy whohad been into my house, his wife
had been here, he'd been intribe and he's a good man, he's
a really good guy and he's ahoorah guy and he's a, he's a.
(28:48):
He had all the phrases.
And one day I got a text fromhim that he was an alcoholic and
his wife was leaving him.
I said what the heck I'm like.
This can't be the guy that youknow.
I'm like.
I'm looking at the name andyeah, yeah, he still got up and
did his Bible time and he stilldid all the challenge videos.
He still did all the things.
And it wasn't until he reallygot honest with his bride and
(29:09):
with his tribe and with didbride and with his tribe and
with did things really start toshift, because I can tell you
what you want to hear.
You know, it dawned on me oneday while I was preaching.
My kids are now all in bigchurch and they're like is he
going to use me as anillustration and is that really
who he is?
You know what I'm saying.
So if I stand there and I'm onething and I go home, I'm
something different.
I was telling you guys beforewe started it's just so much
(29:31):
easier to be the same guy atevery spot.
If you ran into me at thegrocery store or picking up my
kid at Taco Bell here in aminute or whatever, it's the
same guy.
And I don't play on you beingimpressed.
Ever, you know I've had guysshow up and go.
Oh, I thought you were taller,I thought you were based on what
Like who cares, your voicesounds taller.
(29:52):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
And someone said who takes yourpictures?
Me, I don't know, but the pointis man just being real, just
being authentic.
You're not going to be foreverybody, but you're going to
help somebody and our goalshould be all three of our goals
should be help as many peopleget to heaven as possible.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Amen, amen, brother, amen, oh man, I love it, sure
brother, Amen oh man.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I love it.
Sure do, sure do.
Can we talk about heart changefor a minute, sarge?
Yeah, so all of us haveinvested in leading other men to
Jesus right, and we've done ourtime and continue to, and it's
a joy, an absolute joy.
We do it with folks, I do itwith men that are close to me
that I consider dear friends,like Sarge, and I do it with
(30:33):
complete strangers that I oftensee for 44 hours and then I
never see again or talk to again.
So it runs the gamut and inevery case when we're leading,
we realize that we.
I spend a lot of time in my head, I'm going through my checklist
, I'm doing things that don'tinvolve a lot of depth and I'm
(30:56):
learning to teach men.
I haven't mastered this, but Irealize how important heart
change is in a man To reallyhelp that man find that path
that God wants them to be on.
Can you just, jared, grab that,because I heard you use those
words in a podcast earlier today.
As I said to you before westarted, what does heart change
(31:17):
mean to you?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Well, it means that it's like your savings account.
It's one of those things thatnobody can see, but when you
need it, you need to pull fromit.
And I remember many years ago Iwas on staff at a church.
It was really stressful andsomeone from another place came
to talk to all of us.
He was a pastor and he wouldmeet with us individually and I
remember one time he was askingabout ministry and things that
(31:40):
was going, and I said you knowwhatever I said, but he stopped
me.
He said but how's your heart?
And then he quoted Proverbs 4,23, above all, I'll guard your
heart from its wellsprings oflife.
And I was like dang, I don'tthink anyone's ever asked me
that before, and so I had tothink about it.
You know, whatever, but I'llfast forward years down the road
I find out this guy's out ofministry.
He had a moral failure and Ithought nobody ever asked him
(32:01):
how his heart was.
He's going around checking onpeople and doing that with good
intentions.
It was nothing malicious, butnobody ever checked on him.
So you're going to have to havesome people who have the right
to tell you the truth, who havethe right to tell you what's
going on.
I believe that all three of usthat were married our wives need
to know who they could call ifwe're not right.
(32:21):
I asked my wife, like do youknow who you could call if I get
in a funk, because I can be amiserable person to be around?
She named a few people.
Absolutely, those are thepeople.
She needs, people in her lifeas well.
So you got to have those peoplewho are not your fans.
They're not bobbleheads,they're your guys, they're for
you and they're with you, butthey're also not going to take
your guff either.
They're also going to say comeon, man, you're better than that
Like, or what's going on?
(32:42):
Or man, I'm sick of hearing youtalk like that or whatever,
because it was at Hebrews 12.
See to it that no root ofbitterness springs up.
And then what happens?
It affects a lot of people.
So if we don't guard our heart,we're doomed.
And so you can listen to allthe podcasts and you can buy all
the gear and you can do all thethings, but if your heart's a
mess, the whole thing willunravel.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, Amen to that.
And especially, you're bringingup the relationship we have
with our spouses and that loveand what they see in us and
being real, you know, having areal life relationship at home.
Right, it's the beginning ofeverything.
I think it's the foundation ofeverything we're talking about.
Why don't I'm not apsychologist, I'm not a
counselor, I'm not a pastor or,you know, don't have any
(33:27):
theological training, but it'snot hard to figure out that.
I think a great first step formen and we always talk about
something practical here, Sargeis getting real with the person
you love the most next to Jesus,right With your wife.
And if you're not married,there's beginning there and then
(33:53):
your kids see that and see howyou treat someone you love, that
you have a real relationshipwith.
It's a game changer, can changeeverything.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
My father-in-law was a pastor for 40 years in our
home church one of the godliestmen I've ever run up on and I
remember the week or two afterhe retired from our home church
he was at my house in Iowasitting in my basement and he
was having an identity crisis.
I couldn't believe what I wasseeing because he was such a man
in confidence and he's like amob boss for Jesus, and I
remember telling him it was aHoly Spirit moment because I
(34:24):
don't know where it came from.
But I thought there's twothings that will go with you the
whole time you're here on thisearth One, your relationship
with Christ and, if you'remarried, your bride.
That's the goal.
Those two things.
So no matter where you parkyour car or any of those things,
never get your identity fromsomething that could be taken
away from you.
And I watched this guy for thenext 10 years of his life
serving different capacities.
(34:44):
He moved whatever.
She went with him and so if youget your relationship with
Jesus right and you're married,you get it right with your bride
.
Everything else is where itneeds to be.
You get your bride wrong.
The whole thing is going to, nomatter what award you get or
accolade.
It's just not going to be right.
You got to get that marriageright.
You got to protect your home,get your camp right, and then
everything else will take careof itself.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, amen, amen, I've, I've one curve ball I want
to throw at you ball I want tothrow at you and I know, yeah, I
don't think it'll be that muchof a curveball for you, but you
know a lot of what you'retalking about is you challenge
these men and and men arechallenging each other and the
tribe, you know, can couldeasily be heard or or
(35:29):
interpreted as sort of justbehavior modification, right,
and so, like, how do you guyssort of manage that tension
between behavior modificationand, you know, you know, life
impacting heart change?
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Well, I think that comes through some of the
conversation.
You know, I think sometimes thechallenge, like for Christmas,
one of the challenges would beto write a handwritten letter,
to like I write it to my wifeand my three kids.
You know, okay, that soundslike there's some guys that are
like never going to do that.
That's fine, never do that.
But you're missing out on whatthe other guys are.
Or when you share that sin oryou talk about, what happens is
(36:09):
that challenge is presented infront of them.
Guys don't have to do it, theycan ignore it.
Same way as zoom calls.
We're studying the book of Judetonight, 80 guys will be like,
nope, not doing that Can't maketime, have to put the kids to
bed, whatever, you can do that.
But what again?
We always tell them if youengage you'll grow.
And then we start to get You'regoing to sign back up for that
(36:29):
thing, right?
Or we had a guy who had a roughday at church.
He didn't go in, he was sittingin the car, he was depressed
and when his wife came back outto the car the first thing she
said was did you reach out tothe guys in tribe?
Because she knows there is agroup of guys who will start to
circle up and pray for him, nomatter the time of day or
whatever, and so you start tohear those things.
(36:50):
Now there are guys again whojust sign up and they don't do
anything with it.
There's no secret sauce to this.
There's no secret sauce toanything we're talking about.
That simply put just get in theword.
You never have to sign up for atribe, a retreat, nothing.
Just get in the word, get incommunity.
The Holy Spirit will take careof the rest.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Amen, amen.
Well said, brother.
Could you agree more Well said.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So, uh Jar, we like to end usually by giving our
guests a minute to talk aboutwhatever God puts on their heart
, whatever you'd like our twolisteners to hear.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
We're happy to give you an opportunity, like many,
to just share your heart for Godand what is next for you, what
your kind of vision and what'shappening in Jarrett's life.
Well, let me say this to yourtwo listeners If there are two
listeners and they're notrelated to you guys and won't be
at your Thanksgiving table, itwould be nice if, every once in
a while, they would reach outand say how much they appreciate
what you guys do.
Man, every once in a while, Ihear from somebody out of
nowhere.
This guy was on USS, I don'tknow where in Japan one time and
sent me an email.
Man it made my day.
Or a young man who's thinkinghe's never going to get married.
(37:57):
Or every once in a while, youget one of those messages and
you're like that's why we dothis.
We always talk about the one.
It's nice to meet the one everyonce in a while.
Here's the thing we just cameout of an election cycle and
whether you're red or blue, Idon't know and I don't care.
I know where I'm at, but anyhow, people that supported Donald
(38:18):
Trump, for example, they wouldsay well, they're afraid to say
it because they're going to getridiculed, they're going to be
called names whatever, and Ithink that's true.
I think there was a lot of namecalling.
I think Christians are in thesame camp.
I think a lot of times,christians don't want to be
perceived as being, you know,men.
We don't want to bemisogynistic.
We don't want to be about thepatriarchy we don't want to be
about.
Be about it, just be about it.
Okay, be about the things thatGod is about and he'll take care
(38:39):
of it.
Be about the things God isabout and he'll provide you the
opportunities.
He'll set the tone.
He'll create that divineappointment He'll change the
tone of is about.
We have too many men for far toolong have been mute.
We don't need any more mute men.
We're full.
If you're two listeners or mutemen wanting to be Christian,
(38:59):
we're full.
We can't take any more.
We need guys who, like Jonathan, his armor bearer, say I'm with
you, heart and soul.
Man, let's go.
If I got to take some hits foryou, I'm willing to take some
hits and you'll know that's realwhen you go through some stuff.
Some guys go through a stormand they fold.
Some guys go through a stormand they come out stronger.
You'll know who those guys are,but we're done.
The times of being mute,putting our head in the sand,
(39:22):
hoping the world just plays nice, that's over.
We can't do that, no more.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
I love it, brother, amen, thank you for that.
Thank you for that.
It's well said, it needs to beheard and it encourages me.
Speaker 4 (39:37):
So it gets me fired up, let's go.
That was more than a minute.
I apologize, you're entitled,you can have it.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Yeah, man, this is great, Really great, to have you
in the foxhole.
Jared, we are blessed to knowyou and have met you.
Uh, that you continue to beblessed as you expand the tribe,
your tribes.
I know you got a retreat comingup, some other things that
you're doing.
We just asked that God's handwould be in everything that
you're doing.
(40:02):
Uh, it's so, so awesome to knowyou're there and we are here.
Sarge is down in in Florida,I'm in Jersey, you're in Iowa.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
I wish I'm in Indianapolis.
I'm from Iowa.
I grieve that.
Thank you for that.
You said Iowa, sorry.
That was like a little God'scountry and central time zone.
You can't get any better thanthat, and I don't.
I don't have either one of them.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
I love it.
That's great man.
We love having you.
It was so good to have you onand for our listeners.
Go to the.
Go to pursuit of manlinesscom,check out Jared's ministry,
check out the tribe.
If you're a man that justdoesn't know where to plug in
and you have no idea, and let metell you, there's a million
options right where you are, Iguarantee it.
(40:45):
But if you have no idea, go topursuit of manlinesscom, check
out the tribe and uh, and getplugged in with them.
Guys gathering on Zoom callsand you know, follow the plan,
jump in for six months, see whatGod will do with that and jump
in head first.
I'd strongly encourage that.
And we believe in what you'redoing, jared, we believe in the
ministry and really what God isdoing through you and through
(41:07):
the ministry.
So thank you, thanks for whatyou do, thanks for being with us
, and God bless your journey,bro.
Thank you, man, I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
Another beautiful example of a brother serving the
men around him by developing acommunity where men sharpen each
other and drive towardauthentic relationships.
It was refreshing to hearJared's no-nonsense approach to
all that he does.
It was refreshing to hearJared's no-nonsense approach to
all that he does.
He is pursuing what God put onhis heart with passion and,
(41:43):
whether it helps one man or amillion, he's right where he's
supposed to be.
Where are you plugged in?
Where's your authenticcommunity and how are you
getting sharpened?
Lord, please continue to usethis podcast to impact the lives
of all who listen.
I ask that you would bring hopeand healing to each and every
one of them, meet them rightwhere they are and reveal
(42:04):
yourself to them like only youcan do.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
In Jesus' name, amen.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please share it and invite
(42:35):
others to the Foxhole.
You can find us wherever youdownload your favorite podcasts
Amen, Foxhole Symphony or visitfoxholesymphonycom to make it
super easy to find us.
Drop us a line with feedback,questions, topic requests.
Who knows, Maybe you'll be aguest on a future episode.
In the meantime, prepare tomove, embrace discomfort and
just be you.
Welcome to Foxhole Symphony, a podcast about the
transformational value of men inauthentic community.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
In our foxhole.
Men are equipped to buildrelationships that foster
belonging, accountability andgrowth.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Stop believing the lie that you can thrive in
isolation and instead join us onthe journey from broken to
whole.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Hello everyone.
They call me the Maestro and weare back in the foxhole where
we actively pursue belonging,accountability and growth
through authentic relationships.
No masks, no agendas, just iron, sharpening iron.
Steve and Mark are in thefoxhole and they have a special
guest joining them today.
It's going to be a good one.
(00:48):
Get comfortable, open yournotes app and let's get started.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Hey, welcome back to Foxhole Symphony Podcast.
I'm Sarge here with my goodbuddy, mark hey brother, how are
you?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
That's me hitting the microphone, sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Yeah, baby, hey, listen.
Normally we'll spend about fiveminutes talking about the
weather differences betweenJersey and Florida.
Instead of doing that, I'm soexcited about our guest today.
I want to jump right in andmake the most of our time.
And so why don't you?
Why don't you tee him up?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Sure, sure.
Ladies and gentlemen, this isJared Samuels.
He's the creator of the Pursuitof Manliness podcast, among
other things.
And, jared, welcome to theFoxhole.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Hey man, Thank you for letting me be on your show
with you.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Oh, it's great to have you and, as I said to you
off air, I think we have somethings in common that'll make
this fun.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
Yeah, brother.
So listen, I want to just kickus off.
I mean, we, um I definitelywant to save time to get to the
pursuit of manliness, uh,because it is so close to to our
hearts, uh, the Fox hall, andMark and I personally, um, just
just love what you're doing andwant people to hear more about
that.
But I'd love to just start witha little bit about your journey
(02:01):
, man.
What brought you to the pursuitof manliness?
And just tell us a little bitabout your journey.
Speaker 4 (02:08):
You know, the truth is I was raised in church.
It didn't take.
Now it's on me and I kind ofhad to go just live this
disaster of a life.
And it got to a point on theY2K when everyone's computer was
going to go collapse.
I didn't have anything so Ididn't worry about any of my
technology.
But there was a gathering at ourlittle town a day or two after
(02:31):
January 1st 2000.
So probably January 3rd-ish,there's a guy speaking and he
has this altar call and I'mthere by myself.
I don't know what I'm doingthere, but I'm there and I
thought you know what, I knowwhat's right and I know what I
need to do.
So I went forward and God and Ikind of had a conversation,
just he and I.
Nobody was with me, nobodyhugged me, nobody touched me,
nothing.
I turned around and I think Ijust walked right out of the
(02:52):
arena.
I just walked to my car andwent home and I thought what am
I going to do now?
So fortunately I was friendswith this girl.
Her dad was my pastor and nowshe's my wife.
And so here I am, you know,fast forwarding all this time.
But man, I end up feeling thatGod's called a ministry, all
this stuff.
And the problem I'm getting tois I just was going through the
motions.
(03:12):
I wasn't a bad guy, I justwasn't a man of God.
I was a Christian man, I was apastor, I was a husband, as a
father, and it was the day thatmy son was born, where he had a
collapsed lung.
We're in the NICU.
I'm throwing off all thesepopcorn prayers and I just
prayed God, if you'll help thisboy fight, then I'll fight.
And I remember thinking that'sthe dumbest thing I've ever
heard, because there was nofight in me, I was just existing
(03:32):
.
Fast forward two years later,man, the Holy Spirit just
reminds me of those words andfrom that moment on there's been
a fire kindled inside me and mywife has told me twice now and
I don't have it recorded eithertime.
I wish I did.
She said I've been married totwo guys.
I had the guy I was married toand now I have a man of God.
And I can't make her say that.
I wish I could.
I wish I could make her saythat.
(03:53):
But that's her seeing adifference in me that she sees
day in and day out.
So, by the grace of God, Love.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
that.
That's amazing.
It's amazing.
You said a lot in that short,short bit of time, like wow.
So so what did life look like?
I mean, I think you know, whenyou say like man of God, the
words that come to mind and thewords I tend to use are you know
when, when a man's faith islike truly activated, you know
(04:22):
like there's this activationpoint where they come alive in
Christ right, and they becomeclear on their mission and
purpose, and you know who theyare in Christ and all and all
their roles, whether it behusband, dad, you know, friend,
boss, whatever it is.
What did life look like priorto that for you?
Speaker 4 (04:45):
Well, like I said, I felt God's call to ministry.
I went back to school, I get mydegree, all this stuff and I'm
fast forward, a lot of thingshere but I was a good pastor.
I worked my tail off, I worked.
I was a children's pastor, Imean, I tried to do all these
good things.
But Proverbs talks about thesluggard and I definitely wasn't
a sluggard at the office, but Iwas a sluggard at home.
(05:06):
I'll give you an example.
I remember sitting in my livingroom watching a football game
I'm working on my little TV trayand my MacBook on family
ministry and how we got to getthis family ministry figured out
and my message and whatever.
And in the back room my wifewas with our one-year-old,
two-year-old daughter and she'sreading her Bible stories every
night.
And I'm sitting there thinkingyou are a hypocrite.
(05:28):
Here you are saying we need todo this.
And I always thought well,she's little, there's no.
Well, doggone it.
She's 19 years old now andgoing off to school.
It's amazing how quick thathappens.
And so I was.
Like I said, I was a Christianman.
Christian men are safe.
They don't cuss a lot, you know.
They're pretty good to bearound.
They're not going to get you introuble, whatever.
A man of God is different.
(05:49):
A man of God's presence isdifferent.
Their investment's different.
They give more than they take.
They understand the law ofcultivation Like there's a
switch that flips and I don'tthink you can go back once it
flips, once your, once yourheart is is turned that way.
Look out and you're about toget real uncomfortable, in a
good way man, that is, um, thatis so awesome.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Um, I love just the words that you're using are so
powerful and, and you knowmark's grinning and I'm grinning
because we've seen it, we'veexperienced it and we've seen it
and and you know, we've beentalking about how men are dying
in the pews and and people kindof look at us sideways a little
bit, that you know they're likeconfused by that, you know in
some respects, but they're just,you know, a bit asleep at the
(06:35):
wheel, right, good, good, decentChristian men, right, no, no,
the Lord, but they're justchugging along, right, and um,
what you're talking about is isis very, very different.
Um, man, I just, I just lovethat, mark, jump in.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Sure I I.
What I love about Jarrett andwhat I've learned in listening
to him you know, with with otherpodcasts, guests on on his uh,
on Palm is that he doesn't spenda lot of time looking back.
You notice, like you're askinghim about who he is and what he
is, what he's done and he'stalking about from here forward,
forward, and I love that that.
(07:13):
That's so us.
We have this bias, we call it abias towards action Jared, and
it's all driven by the Holyspirit of like, well, what can
we do for the Lord next?
And we are reminded in thatconversation and Sarge is
actually very good at this, I'mnot maybe not so much me, but
the being still like just takinga deep breath and thinking
(07:34):
through, you know, giving theLord a chance and getting out of
his way.
I have a couple of bar stoolshere behind me and I always joke
with Sarge.
I'm like, lord, can you justsit right there and I'll be
right with you and I'll getright to you as soon as I need
you.
I'm going to, I'm going to dothis in my own strength and then
I'll get to you when thingsdon't work out my way.
That's one of the laments of mylife is putting putting Jesus
(07:56):
in the corner.
Can you relate to that?
Speaker 4 (08:06):
Oh, a hundred percent .
I there's been so many timeswhere I've just smacked the wall
in burnout.
You know I'd have all thesetasks and all these things and
what I would recognize everyonce in a while is there's no
substance to it.
There was no growth.
I mean, you can, you can kickout, you guys can kick out a
podcast today, every day, butthat doesn't mean there's any
substance to it.
There's no real growth.
And I think you have to havesome mile markers.
You have to pause long enough.
There is a time to look back,like there's a time to say, okay
(08:27):
, where have I gone and I callit inventory your life.
Well, I've looked at like,where I've lived, my ministries,
I've been a part of thosethings, like people that God has
placed in my life.
But I need to identify the nowand the next and you can forget
all this stuff If you don't havea quiet time with the Lord
every day.
None of this is all justbravado If you don't pause long
enough, get in the word and havethat personal worship time
(08:49):
where you're in it every singleday.
I mean hardly no misses, none,if you can avoid it.
So just making that a priority,otherwise we're just doing
hoorah, we just sell t-shirts.
We just have a thing that lookslike a firework.
It goes off and then it's gone.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
The only way, any of this stuff is sustainable, is
walking with the Lord and you'regoing to go at his pace.
We agree.
Now I'm going to jump ontosomething that obviously is very
near and dear to your heart.
You pull up your webpage andit's Quiet Life Community.
You just talked about it.
Tell us what Quiet LifeCommunity is.
It says welcome to the QuietLife Community, right?
Speaker 4 (09:24):
What does that mean?
Yeah, it's from 1 Thessalonians, 4, 11 and 12, aspire to live a
quiet life, mind your ownaffairs, work with your hands,
be thought well by outsiders andto be not to be dependent on
anybody.
And that was a verse thatreally like grabbed my heart
during COVID.
You know, everything is weird.
During COVID, as a pastor, Ifelt like it was my job to
(09:44):
rah-rah the church and, come on,we can do this.
And actually I just talkedabout it Sunday, you know, just
looking back and thinking that'snot me, you know.
And so I just told them fromnow on, this is what I'm doing,
this is where we're going.
We're going to preach Jesus.
This is what we're about, andthat quiet life is.
We're not.
Most, most Christians aren'tgoing to be the loudest.
I'm never going to be on thecorner with a sandwich board and
(10:04):
a megaphone yelling at you, butI am going to look for
opportunities where I can askhow I can pray for you or
encourage you, or discipleshipis something that I'm really
about.
Looking for those things thataren't flashy, aren't fun.
It's like saving money it'snever fun until you need it.
It's like reading books.
You don't get any awards forreading books, but you're kind
of building that library ofJesus in your heart and in your
(10:24):
head.
Then you're able to pull fromthat and that's where wisdom and
application comes.
So, yeah, and I changed thename to A Quiet Life and some
guys didn't like it and I'm likeI don't know what to tell you.
This is what it is.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
I love it.
I love it too, especially now,just given our culture.
You know these, these last fewyears, or even even the last 10
years, 15 years.
You know just the, the noise,the, the, the social media, the
influencer culture, the megachurch, the celebrity pastor,
the, you know all of that noise,rah, rah, rah, and and and
(11:01):
noise.
And you know, to live a life ofsignificance right, you know,
means something drasticallydifferent to different people,
Right, and and and what you'retalking about, you know, living
that, that quiet life thatyou're referring to, man,
there's, there's no greatersignificance, Right, but the
world, the world would look atthat and say what is that?
(11:25):
Right, you know?
And so, yeah, that's, it'shonorable, it's honorable and,
of course, biblical.
Absolutely, Go ahead, I'm sorry.
Well, it's honorable, it'shonorable and, of course,
biblical.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Absolutely Go ahead.
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (11:34):
Well, it's like what you guys do.
If you guys decide to run abunch of ads, you would have
thousands of listeners, You'dhave thousands of downloads.
That doesn't mean anybody isgetting anything from it.
You know like it's not hard tothrow out the smoke and mirrors,
and so it's literally oneperson at a time.
Years ago I met this guy, DeanTroon.
He became a mentor of mine fora number of years and I didn't
(11:55):
meet him until he was 67.
And I remember I was in my 30sand I told my wife, if I don't
have an impact on anyone's lifelike Dean has on my life until
I'm 67, I'm going to be okaywith that.
And so you never know, whenthere's someone that God's going
to place in your life thatyou're going to just maybe
change the course of the waythey think or treat people, make
disciples, evangelize the losthey, in due time God cares more
(12:17):
about those people than we do.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
First of all, it took about 10 minutes for us to
realize Jared has a strongmessage.
He's just who we thought hemight be, and hallelujah for
that.
So, jared, the herd and thetribe I want you to tell us.
I looked at your site, justlooked at you know, I clicked
all through it.
But the message you clearly canarticulate and you can tell the
(12:40):
passion you have, you'resharing it with other men.
You're not keeping thisimportant message to yourself.
You're telling you're a pastor,you're telling congregation,
you're obviously telling othermen pursuit of manliness, you
have retreats, et cetera.
Tell us about the herd and thetribe and then let's talk about
the message you're giving to men, please.
Speaker 4 (12:59):
Well first of all, the tribe started with a post.
I think it was December of 2017.
I made a Facebook post in ourwhat is now Quiet Life group and
just said you know, like whatdo you need in the following
year to really grow as a man?
And somebody in there left acomment who said a friend, and I
thought me too, because I wasat a new town, new ministry, new
church.
I didn't have any friends, andI thought me too.
So, within about 45 minutes,tribe was born.
(13:21):
I thought, all right, we'rejust jumping out of this
airplane.
So I started reaching out toguys.
I reached out to that guy.
We had 10 guys who committed todoing this six-month
discipleship journey.
I had it laid out, the wholedeal Within the first I don't
know month six of the 10 quit.
So I thought we're really doingsomething right here, I'm
kidding.
And so I decided, all right,let's cut that.
And then I charged money forthe next time, which is, you
(13:44):
know, but what the point was.
Looking at, what does this needto be?
So, essentially, tribe is a sixmonth discipleship community
and we have daily Bible reading.
We have weekly challenges thatwe do.
We have, you know, 20, almost30 zoom calls.
Within that six month sessionwe do a few marriage zoom calls.
They have some things whereguys can meet up.
(14:04):
It's global.
We have guys in other countriesAustralia, uk and Canada.
Right now We've had Japan andNigeria and other places but
they're all part of one tribe.
They're broken into point mangroups.
So if you're in a tribe of 100plus guys, well you're in a
point man group of like 15.
And they're based on yourregion.
So guys in Missouri and Iowa,they're all together.
So if you wanted to meet up,it's easy to do that.
(14:26):
And then that has grown andwe're getting ready to start
session 15 in a bit.
But the herd was just somethingextra.
You know, I had these guys thatwere buying the patches and the
hats and everything I did and Ithought what can I give them?
That's low hanging fruit, thatis of substance and you know,
maybe we kind of build a uniquecommunity there and that's where
the herd came and basicallythey get bonus podcast content
(14:48):
on Mondays and we've done somethings at the retreat where they
get to come early and hang outand stuff.
So yeah, it's just been neat tosee that come to fruition.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
That's great, yeah, very cool, okay.
So, taking simply that you haveaccess, you've decided to lead
these men and, like you said,you have it all laid out.
You have a six month plan.
You've had experience now withmore than 10 men.
Right, there are hundreds, itsounds like.
But what are you seeing?
(15:17):
What are you seeing in mentoday all around the world that
lifts your spirit?
What do you sense is happening?
And, by the way, I'm going toalso ask you what you're seeing
that deflates you.
You know what also concerns you, that you're seeing about men
around the world.
So let's start with what liftsyou.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Well, the first thing is there's some really sound
godly men out there.
I know sometimes we have thatElijah complex.
Right, there's nobody left.
Just take me now.
Lord, you know it's over andGod said I got a bunch.
You know, it's like if you wentto a church and you had two or
(15:55):
three guys who really get it,and you went to another church,
there's two or three guys thatreally get it.
Imagine if you could take allthose guys together what you
could do.
And that's kind of what tribeis in some ways.
You have these high caliberhumans.
It has never come and sit atJared's feet.
Everything is cyclical.
I do everything they do.
Everybody gets to talk on Zoomcalls.
It's not me teaching them,talking at them, and so what
(16:15):
happens is I learned thateverybody has something to add
to the conversation, but a wholebunch to take away.
We're all more insecure thanwe'd like to admit, but when we
get around other guys and you go, I got that same deal.
Yeah, I stink at praying withmy wife too.
Well, let's hold each otheraccountable and make sure we
don't keep stinking at prayingwith our wives.
We're seeing the wives start tobecome friends.
In some cases we're seeing thekids connect like these guys.
(16:39):
Kids bring them to the retreatand connect.
So that's moving out of thisman thing into a.
Now this is a kingdom thing.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
That's sorry.
Ripples, right?
Yeah, absolutely, we understand.
We did a couple of episodes.
I can't help myself, but theripple effect of what God is up
to is pretty amazing if youthink about it.
But thank you, that's a greatanswer.
So, conversely, can you speakto what you're seeing in the
men's community around the worldthat concerns you today?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Well, we hide.
Well, you know, I meaneveryone's like well, I'm an
introvert, I'm a Lone Ranger, weall are okay, like most a lot
of people are, so we hide.
Well, I think it's easy tostart things, it's hard to
finish things.
We don't really wantaccountability.
We say we do, but the realityis we oftentimes want a life
coach.
We want someone to say now, didyou tuck your kids in it?
(17:32):
No, forget that.
Like, get on, let's do thethings we said we're going to do
.
And so when those things happen, again back to that point.
Every guy's got insecurities,every guy's got things that we
worry about.
Do I measure up?
And for some men they justcan't overcome it.
I remember seeing a guy at oneof our zoom calls.
He sent me a message.
He said I think I'm in thewrong space.
And what he meant was boy, whatthey're talking about just is
I'm just not ready for this.
And I said, no, you're exactlyin the right space.
(17:52):
But I couldn't convince himotherwise.
Now this guy does something onhis side thing and I see that he
leads classes and stuff.
And I thought what would happenif someone went up to him and
said I think I'm in the wrongclass.
I think he would tell them no,you're in the right class, but
when it came to spiritual,spiritual things, he quit.
And I think it's easy to quitspiritual things, and then we
just kind of masquerade as aChristian when in reality
(18:13):
there's no fruit coming from ourlife.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Sorry, it sounds a lot like caves.
We had a.
We speak about caving up.
Men have this.
What we've learned we'recalling men out of the darkness
because we're so darn good atno-transcript.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I like to be comfortable, right, uh, and so
you know, um, you know there's Idon't know what it is exactly
other than the Holy Spirit, orjust suffering, or coming to the
end of yourself, the end ofyour rope, or some dire
circumstances, right, or severeloneliness, or whatever it is
(19:24):
that causes a man to say youknow what, I want, that I want
that you know, I want to sign upfor that painful part, you know
really what's funny is we dothis tribe and we have these
challenges and stuff andchallenge.
Speaker 4 (19:37):
Some of them are really hard.
Some of them are like what sinis so easily entangling you?
You know what you know therethere's things that, like you
don't talk about in your men'sministry.
And then there's lightheartedones too, but I've seen this
every set.
We've done four retreats andevery single year there'll be a
couple of guys who will say man,I was really nervous to get out
of the car and I said we're not, eharmony, what were you
worried about?
Like well, we don't, we don't,what do you?
(20:05):
And they're like well, I justdidn't know and I just you know
they're worried about likeeveryone's a friend and I don't
care.
We got guys in all walks oflife.
Nobody is here concerned if youmeasure up to them.
No, that's not.
And the nice thing is, ifyou're willing to talk through
these things, by the time you goto grab a burger or you go for
a hike, whatever, I already knowyou're a mess man.
(20:25):
We don't have to rehash itthere's.
Let's move forward and let'sjust become better.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Right, yeah, whatever it is we're hiding, whatever it
is we're fearful of right, allthese ideas that in our head of
what we might be asked to do orwhat's going on out there, right
.
But then you know, as soon asthere's a taste of true,
authentic godly intimacy rightIn in in relationship, all of a
(20:49):
sudden it's like you knowinsatiable right, like I need
more of that, like I didn't, Ididn't realize this even existed
.
This is what I've been lookingfor, this is what God intended,
right.
And then, and then they're justall in.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
Wow, yeah, I'd say you can expedite the growth in
your life by getting around highcaliber guys.
But when I started to lookaround, when I started feeling
the stirring in my spirit, Iwasn't a high caliber guy.
So you often attract what youare and so as I grew, the group
grew.
As the group grows, I grow.
It's very cyclical because Igot people on the other side of
(21:23):
this wall who need me to getthis right and if I can show up
better for them and leave alasting impact on their life,
man, this is worth it.
But if I just pump fake peopleall day long and tell you how
wonderful I am and they hate me,then I'm a fraud, you know, and
then you get to end your lifeWell it's so empty.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
What do you mean by high caliber?
What I mean?
Speaker 4 (21:44):
is like they don't settle for the crummy excuses.
You know guys will say, man, Ijust I can't get up on time.
What do you mean?
You can't get up?
Well, how old are you?
Like my 11 year old, I'm wakinghim up for school.
I, you shouldn't be waking upyour 41 year old, right?
Like well, I just can't, or Ijust don't, or I just I forgot,
or I just like.
There are people and I forgiveme how this is going to sound
(22:05):
but I've said to guys like howdid you ever make a child?
Like you can't figure out howto do basic downloadable PDFs or
to follow through on a textmessage or to reply to an email
how did?
How did you ever make a kid?
How did you ever get a job?
And some guys just live in thisacceptable incompetence their
whole life because their wifewill pick up their slack.
(22:26):
Their kids don't even expectanything out of them anymore.
Their boss knows that they'rejust going to do the minimum and
I'm like that's a crap.
And then all they're trying todo is die the safest, and that's
a terrible way to live.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Right oh man Expectation right.
Yeah, and the limiting, I meanthe limiting beliefs and the
limiting factor of that, likeyou said, I mean living in that
sort of complacency, thatcomplacent incompetence and just
you know, lie under the radar.
I mean what a waste of time andenergy and oxygen.
(22:59):
You know life.
I mean that.
I mean honestly right, likeimagine what the world would
look like if you know the, thehigh caliber, you know men with
intentionality and intensity andintimacy, were leading
themselves and those in theirsphere of influence With that
(23:20):
type of intentionality andcaliber man.
The world would be a differentplace.
Speaker 4 (23:25):
I spent about 30 some years of just going through the
motions Christian man, pastor,husband, father, whatever.
I look back on that guy now andI punch him in the face Like
there's a picture of me beforemy son was born.
I'm like that guy doesn't havea clue.
But I also look back and thinkwhat were you doing?
Like?
What did you spend your timedoing?
Like, where, where was youreffort and energy?
(23:46):
Like I can't even.
It is literally like a switchhas flipped.
You can you can turn the lighton in a dark room and you see
what's there.
You can turn it off and pretendlike it's not all there, but
it's still there.
So once that switch is flipped,you're like there's no going
back.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, Not that this even matters, but I'm just
curious.
Let me just preface it withthat Do you have a sense of, or
have you encountered, um, what?
What have you encountered inthe way of response from your
message and what you're doingwith the pursuit of manliness
(24:21):
from other sort of Christiancommunities?
Is it, is it embraced, Is it,is it welcomed or is it, you
know?
Is it, uh, not so much?
Speaker 4 (24:31):
No, I mean, hey, I'm good If you're talking like
bigger names.
No, they probably don't know Iexist and that's okay.
You guys talk about running it.
I don't run ads.
I ran one ad.
I got much like crazies I saiddelete it, I'm done running that
ad.
So it's been very much of amosaic.
You know those who are there.
It's one or two at a time.
Whatever it's guys inviting, Ithink you know we're not for
(24:56):
everybody, right, and sosometimes the way that I
communicate or whatever, somepeople think you're being phony.
I'm literally in my garage.
Tomorrow I'll put that door upand I'll make a video of me
looking out to the drivewayabout a thought for 59 seconds,
like it's real simple and basic.
But I think the key is justjust stay in the course.
You know, and like I commendyou guys for doing this for
(25:16):
three years, there's a lot ofguys that don't do it past 12
months.
I mean they don't even get thatfar down the road.
So the fact that you're doingit shows where your heart really
is.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Yeah, yeah, it matters.
I mean we, we believe this,this, this message matters.
It matters.
I mean, we believe this messagematters and God is, you know,
raising up, you know, an army,an army of soldiers.
You know in his army, right Fora time such as this, and I
(25:51):
think it's an important time,and you know a critical point in
history and you know it's asyou look back, you know as we
look back right to our formerselves.
You know the sad part is like,you know, I would guess you know
you didn't know, you didn'tknow what you didn't know right,
and I didn't either.
Right, it took, it took.
You know me, you know reachingout to somebody saying like man,
(26:13):
I don't, I don't think this isall I'm supposed to be.
You know like there's a and youknow somebody, and then I got
connected to Mark and he ignoredmy, my phone calls and email
for about three months before hefinally responded and then
things got under way.
I deny that, but, but, but youknow, like the truth, you know
the the message does have to getout, you know, because guys
(26:36):
don't know, you know that theydon't know, they're just living
the life that they think theyshould be living, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
Yeah, I'm just want to grab that Sarge because I was
thinking about what, what Jaredsaid a little bit ago about the
retreats and the guy gets outof the car and he's like I'm
nervous about doing this and I'mreminded and we've all read
John Eldredge, right, we loveWild at Heart and our brother
Chris Bruno.
Both were saying that mencontinue, adult men, good men,
(27:07):
christian men, are askingthemselves do I have what it
takes?
Right that question, do I havewhat it takes?
Do I have what it takes?
How many men over the yearshave we all met that are still
asking themselves.
Now, we've been that event thatSarge was lovingly referring to
Jared about showing up at mydoor and my ignoring him is
mostly true.
It happened about 19, 20 yearsago and I had a men's group
(27:32):
meeting in my basement which methere for 18 years Every other
Thursday, called the Band ofBrothers.
Shocking, it came out aroundthe time that the Band of
Brothers came out.
But watch, I look back and thatjust ended this past June.
I look back and say almost to aman they stop and show up, just
(27:53):
nervous wrecks, and they'reasking that key question Do I
have what it takes?
Have you seen this manifestitself in the herd and in the
tribe in your retreats.
Speaker 4 (28:05):
All the time, all the time, you know.
First of all say, if guys getin tribe and they think they're
awesome, they're not usuallylong for tribe because we don't
think you're awesome, because wedon't care, we got, we got our
stuff to worry about.
Right, I got my own junk, but Ifound, like, when guys are just
real and I use the term bluecollar I grew up in a blue
collar home and I mean you, justyou answer the bell every day,
(28:26):
you go to work, you pay yourbills, you mow your grass, you
love your whatever.
That's all.
We're not, we're just doingthat.
But what we found is evenonline and even in men's groups,
you can still pump fake peopleand you can tell them it's all
good when it's not good.
And I'll never forget a guy whohad been into my house, his wife
had been here, he'd been intribe and he's a good man, he's
a really good guy and he's ahoorah guy and he's a, he's a.
(28:48):
He had all the phrases.
And one day I got a text fromhim that he was an alcoholic and
his wife was leaving him.
I said what the heck I'm like.
This can't be the guy that youknow.
I'm like.
I'm looking at the name andyeah, yeah, he still got up and
did his Bible time and he stilldid all the challenge videos.
He still did all the things.
And it wasn't until he reallygot honest with his bride and
(29:09):
with his tribe and with didbride and with his tribe and
with did things really start toshift, because I can tell you
what you want to hear.
You know, it dawned on me oneday while I was preaching.
My kids are now all in bigchurch and they're like is he
going to use me as anillustration and is that really
who he is?
You know what I'm saying.
So if I stand there and I'm onething and I go home, I'm
something different.
I was telling you guys beforewe started it's just so much
(29:31):
easier to be the same guy atevery spot.
If you ran into me at thegrocery store or picking up my
kid at Taco Bell here in aminute or whatever, it's the
same guy.
And I don't play on you beingimpressed.
Ever, you know I've had guysshow up and go.
Oh, I thought you were taller,I thought you were based on what
Like who cares, your voicesounds taller.
(29:52):
Yeah, yeah, you know.
And someone said who takes yourpictures?
Me, I don't know, but the pointis man just being real, just
being authentic.
You're not going to be foreverybody, but you're going to
help somebody and our goalshould be all three of our goals
should be help as many peopleget to heaven as possible.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Amen, amen, brother, amen, oh man, I love it, sure
brother, Amen oh man.
Speaker 1 (30:12):
I love it.
Sure do, sure do.
Can we talk about heart changefor a minute, sarge?
Yeah, so all of us haveinvested in leading other men to
Jesus right, and we've done ourtime and continue to, and it's
a joy, an absolute joy.
We do it with folks, I do itwith men that are close to me
that I consider dear friends,like Sarge, and I do it with
(30:33):
complete strangers that I oftensee for 44 hours and then I
never see again or talk to again.
So it runs the gamut and inevery case when we're leading,
we realize that we.
I spend a lot of time in my head, I'm going through my checklist
, I'm doing things that don'tinvolve a lot of depth and I'm
(30:56):
learning to teach men.
I haven't mastered this, but Irealize how important heart
change is in a man To reallyhelp that man find that path
that God wants them to be on.
Can you just, jared, grab that,because I heard you use those
words in a podcast earlier today.
As I said to you before westarted, what does heart change
(31:17):
mean to you?
Speaker 4 (31:19):
Well, it means that it's like your savings account.
It's one of those things thatnobody can see, but when you
need it, you need to pull fromit.
And I remember many years ago Iwas on staff at a church.
It was really stressful andsomeone from another place came
to talk to all of us.
He was a pastor and he wouldmeet with us individually and I
remember one time he was askingabout ministry and things that
(31:40):
was going, and I said you knowwhatever I said, but he stopped
me.
He said but how's your heart?
And then he quoted Proverbs 4,23, above all, I'll guard your
heart from its wellsprings oflife.
And I was like dang, I don'tthink anyone's ever asked me
that before, and so I had tothink about it.
You know, whatever, but I'llfast forward years down the road
I find out this guy's out ofministry.
He had a moral failure and Ithought nobody ever asked him
(32:01):
how his heart was.
He's going around checking onpeople and doing that with good
intentions.
It was nothing malicious, butnobody ever checked on him.
So you're going to have to havesome people who have the right
to tell you the truth, who havethe right to tell you what's
going on.
I believe that all three of usthat were married our wives need
to know who they could call ifwe're not right.
(32:21):
I asked my wife, like do youknow who you could call if I get
in a funk, because I can be amiserable person to be around?
She named a few people.
Absolutely, those are thepeople.
She needs, people in her lifeas well.
So you got to have those peoplewho are not your fans.
They're not bobbleheads,they're your guys, they're for
you and they're with you, butthey're also not going to take
your guff either.
They're also going to say comeon, man, you're better than that
Like, or what's going on?
(32:42):
Or man, I'm sick of hearing youtalk like that or whatever,
because it was at Hebrews 12.
See to it that no root ofbitterness springs up.
And then what happens?
It affects a lot of people.
So if we don't guard our heart,we're doomed.
And so you can listen to allthe podcasts and you can buy all
the gear and you can do all thethings, but if your heart's a
mess, the whole thing willunravel.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Yeah, Amen to that.
And especially, you're bringingup the relationship we have
with our spouses and that loveand what they see in us and
being real, you know, having areal life relationship at home.
Right, it's the beginning ofeverything.
I think it's the foundation ofeverything we're talking about.
Why don't I'm not apsychologist, I'm not a
counselor, I'm not a pastor or,you know, don't have any
(33:27):
theological training, but it'snot hard to figure out that.
I think a great first step formen and we always talk about
something practical here, Sargeis getting real with the person
you love the most next to Jesus,right With your wife.
And if you're not married,there's beginning there and then
(33:53):
your kids see that and see howyou treat someone you love, that
you have a real relationshipwith.
It's a game changer, can changeeverything.
Speaker 4 (34:02):
My father-in-law was a pastor for 40 years in our
home church one of the godliestmen I've ever run up on and I
remember the week or two afterhe retired from our home church
he was at my house in Iowasitting in my basement and he
was having an identity crisis.
I couldn't believe what I wasseeing because he was such a man
in confidence and he's like amob boss for Jesus, and I
remember telling him it was aHoly Spirit moment because I
(34:24):
don't know where it came from.
But I thought there's twothings that will go with you the
whole time you're here on thisearth One, your relationship
with Christ and, if you'remarried, your bride.
That's the goal.
Those two things.
So no matter where you parkyour car or any of those things,
never get your identity fromsomething that could be taken
away from you.
And I watched this guy for thenext 10 years of his life
serving different capacities.
(34:44):
He moved whatever.
She went with him and so if youget your relationship with
Jesus right and you're married,you get it right with your bride
.
Everything else is where itneeds to be.
You get your bride wrong.
The whole thing is going to, nomatter what award you get or
accolade.
It's just not going to be right.
You got to get that marriageright.
You got to protect your home,get your camp right, and then
everything else will take careof itself.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
Yeah, amen, amen, I've, I've one curve ball I want
to throw at you ball I want tothrow at you and I know, yeah, I
don't think it'll be that muchof a curveball for you, but you
know a lot of what you'retalking about is you challenge
these men and and men arechallenging each other and the
tribe, you know, can couldeasily be heard or or
(35:29):
interpreted as sort of justbehavior modification, right,
and so, like, how do you guyssort of manage that tension
between behavior modificationand, you know, you know, life
impacting heart change?
Speaker 4 (35:46):
Well, I think that comes through some of the
conversation.
You know, I think sometimes thechallenge, like for Christmas,
one of the challenges would beto write a handwritten letter,
to like I write it to my wifeand my three kids.
You know, okay, that soundslike there's some guys that are
like never going to do that.
That's fine, never do that.
But you're missing out on whatthe other guys are.
Or when you share that sin oryou talk about, what happens is
(36:09):
that challenge is presented infront of them.
Guys don't have to do it, theycan ignore it.
Same way as zoom calls.
We're studying the book of Judetonight, 80 guys will be like,
nope, not doing that Can't maketime, have to put the kids to
bed, whatever, you can do that.
But what again?
We always tell them if youengage you'll grow.
And then we start to get You'regoing to sign back up for that
(36:29):
thing, right?
Or we had a guy who had a roughday at church.
He didn't go in, he was sittingin the car, he was depressed
and when his wife came back outto the car the first thing she
said was did you reach out tothe guys in tribe?
Because she knows there is agroup of guys who will start to
circle up and pray for him, nomatter the time of day or
whatever, and so you start tohear those things.
(36:50):
Now there are guys again whojust sign up and they don't do
anything with it.
There's no secret sauce to this.
There's no secret sauce toanything we're talking about.
That simply put just get in theword.
You never have to sign up for atribe, a retreat, nothing.
Just get in the word, get incommunity.
The Holy Spirit will take careof the rest.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
Amen, amen.
Well said, brother.
Could you agree more Well said.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So, uh Jar, we like to end usually by giving our
guests a minute to talk aboutwhatever God puts on their heart
, whatever you'd like our twolisteners to hear.
Speaker 4 (37:33):
We're happy to give you an opportunity, like many,
to just share your heart for Godand what is next for you, what
your kind of vision and what'shappening in Jarrett's life.
Well, let me say this to yourtwo listeners If there are two
listeners and they're notrelated to you guys and won't be
at your Thanksgiving table, itwould be nice if, every once in
a while, they would reach outand say how much they appreciate
what you guys do.
Man, every once in a while, Ihear from somebody out of
nowhere.
This guy was on USS, I don'tknow where in Japan one time and
sent me an email.
Man it made my day.
Or a young man who's thinkinghe's never going to get married.
(37:57):
Or every once in a while, youget one of those messages and
you're like that's why we dothis.
We always talk about the one.
It's nice to meet the one everyonce in a while.
Here's the thing we just cameout of an election cycle and
whether you're red or blue, Idon't know and I don't care.
I know where I'm at, but anyhow, people that supported Donald
(38:18):
Trump, for example, they wouldsay well, they're afraid to say
it because they're going to getridiculed, they're going to be
called names whatever, and Ithink that's true.
I think there was a lot of namecalling.
I think Christians are in thesame camp.
I think a lot of times,christians don't want to be
perceived as being, you know,men.
We don't want to bemisogynistic.
We don't want to be about thepatriarchy we don't want to be
about.
Be about it, just be about it.
Okay, be about the things thatGod is about and he'll take care
(38:39):
of it.
Be about the things God isabout and he'll provide you the
opportunities.
He'll set the tone.
He'll create that divineappointment He'll change the
tone of is about.
We have too many men for far toolong have been mute.
We don't need any more mute men.
We're full.
If you're two listeners or mutemen wanting to be Christian,
(38:59):
we're full.
We can't take any more.
We need guys who, like Jonathan, his armor bearer, say I'm with
you, heart and soul.
Man, let's go.
If I got to take some hits foryou, I'm willing to take some
hits and you'll know that's realwhen you go through some stuff.
Some guys go through a stormand they fold.
Some guys go through a stormand they come out stronger.
You'll know who those guys are,but we're done.
The times of being mute,putting our head in the sand,
(39:22):
hoping the world just plays nice, that's over.
We can't do that, no more.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
I love it, brother, amen, thank you for that.
Thank you for that.
It's well said, it needs to beheard and it encourages me.
Speaker 4 (39:37):
So it gets me fired up, let's go.
That was more than a minute.
I apologize, you're entitled,you can have it.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Yeah, man, this is great, Really great, to have you
in the foxhole.
Jared, we are blessed to knowyou and have met you.
Uh, that you continue to beblessed as you expand the tribe,
your tribes.
I know you got a retreat comingup, some other things that
you're doing.
We just asked that God's handwould be in everything that
you're doing.
(40:02):
Uh, it's so, so awesome to knowyou're there and we are here.
Sarge is down in in Florida,I'm in Jersey, you're in Iowa.
Speaker 4 (40:10):
I wish I'm in Indianapolis.
I'm from Iowa.
I grieve that.
Thank you for that.
You said Iowa, sorry.
That was like a little God'scountry and central time zone.
You can't get any better thanthat, and I don't.
I don't have either one of them.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
I love it.
That's great man.
We love having you.
It was so good to have you onand for our listeners.
Go to the.
Go to pursuit of manlinesscom,check out Jared's ministry,
check out the tribe.
If you're a man that justdoesn't know where to plug in
and you have no idea, and let metell you, there's a million
options right where you are, Iguarantee it.
(40:45):
But if you have no idea, go topursuit of manlinesscom, check
out the tribe and uh, and getplugged in with them.
Guys gathering on Zoom callsand you know, follow the plan,
jump in for six months, see whatGod will do with that and jump
in head first.
I'd strongly encourage that.
And we believe in what you'redoing, jared, we believe in the
ministry and really what God isdoing through you and through
(41:07):
the ministry.
So thank you, thanks for whatyou do, thanks for being with us
, and God bless your journey,bro.
Thank you, man, I appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
Another beautiful example of a brother serving the
men around him by developing acommunity where men sharpen each
other and drive towardauthentic relationships.
It was refreshing to hearJared's no-nonsense approach to
all that he does.
It was refreshing to hearJared's no-nonsense approach to
all that he does.
He is pursuing what God put onhis heart with passion and,
(41:43):
whether it helps one man or amillion, he's right where he's
supposed to be.
Where are you plugged in?
Where's your authenticcommunity and how are you
getting sharpened?
Lord, please continue to usethis podcast to impact the lives
of all who listen.
I ask that you would bring hopeand healing to each and every
one of them, meet them rightwhere they are and reveal
(42:04):
yourself to them like only youcan do.
Speaker 2 (42:12):
In Jesus' name, amen.
If you enjoyed today's episode,please share it and invite
(42:35):
others to the Foxhole.
You can find us wherever youdownload your favorite podcasts
Amen, Foxhole Symphony or visitfoxholesymphonycom to make it
super easy to find us.
Drop us a line with feedback,questions, topic requests.
Who knows, Maybe you'll be aguest on a future episode.
In the meantime, prepare tomove, embrace discomfort and
just be you.
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