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May 27, 2025 50 mins


What exactly do foster youth age out of? In this powerful episode, we step inside the foster care system to understand the lived reality behind the statistics—and why so many youth, especially young men, end up incarcerated after leaving care.

Through raw, honest stories, we witness the hidden toll of growing up in a system designed to protect, but often failing to provide what children need most: consistency, safety, and belonging. From 30 different placements to nights spent at government offices, these aren't just statistics—they're lives shaped by constant upheaval.

We open with a haunting scene: four-year-old Harmony, sleeping under fluorescent lights in a Memphis DCS office. She’s about to be separated from her sister because no foster home can take them both. It’s a moment that reveals just how stretched—and broken—the system can be.

We explore the devastating symbolism of the trash bag: how being told to carry your life in something meant for garbage sends a message no child should ever receive. We hear about the hypervigilance these children develop, being constantly on edge, always ready for, and how it becomes a survival skill that leaves lasting emotional scars..

But this isn't just a story of failure. Crystabella's journey from addiction and incarceration to recovery and purpose shows the transformative power of having even one person show up and stay. Lance Villio shares a powerful shift in perspective when community leaders stopped seeing these youth as “the state’s problem” and started seeing them as our kids.

The episode challenges a deeply held myth: that independence means going it alone. These young people don't need pity. They need presence. They need us to understand that no one thrives in isolation, and that real, lasting change happens when communities decide to show up.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of trauma, abuse, addiction, and incarceration.

For additional resources and stories featured in this episode, visit: fracturetoflourish.com


(00:00) Introduction and Content Warning

(01:23) Inside the Foster Care System

(03:11) Harmony's Story: Sleeping in DCS Offices

(06:03) Gabe's Start: From Chaos to Care

(11:25) Crystabella's Journey - 30 Placements Before 18

(17:26) How Instability Disrupts Education

(22:13) The Trash Bag: A Devastating Symbol

(26:56) Heather's Story: Growing Up Isolated

(29:18) Vulnerability and Exploitation in Care

(34:45) The Foster Care to Prison Pipeline

(37:26) Trauma and the Need for Mental Health Support

(41:59) The Power of Showing Up

(44:23) These Are Our Kids: Community Responsibility

(47:17) A Call to Action

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