One-Act Play Collections - Book 12, Part 3 - Free Audiobooks

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(00:00):
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern by WS Gilbert.
This is a LibriVox recording allLibriVox recordings are in the
public domain for more information or to volunteer,
please visit librivox.org. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern and
original tragedy in three acts founded on an old Danish Legend

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players. King Claudius, read by Erin
White Queen Gertrude read by Sonia, rosenkranz read by Kevin,
S, guildenstone, read by Thomas.Peter, Ophelia, read by film
Hamlet. Read by Alan mapstone.

(00:49):
First player read by Campbell shelp.
He read by Peter years lie. She read by Sandra Schmidt stage
directions, read by Todd. Argument King, Claudius, when a
young man, wrote a five act tragedy, which was damned and

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all reference to it, forbidden under penalty of death, the King
has a son Hamlet whose tendency to Soliloquy.
Has so alarmed his mother Queen Gertrude that she has sent for
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to devise some Court.
Rebels, for his entertainment, rosenkranz is a former lover of
a philia to whom Hamlet is betrothed and they lay their

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heads together to develop. Sighs a plan by which Hamlet may
be put out of the way. Some Court theatricals are in
Preparation, Ophelia, and Rosencrantz.
Persuade Hamlet to play his father's tragedy before the king
and Court Hamlet who was unawareof the prescription does so and
he is banished and Rosencrantz heavily United to a filia Act

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one interior of King Claudius has Palace Claudius discovered
seated in Gloomy attitude, QueenGertrude At His Feet, consoling
him, maybe not sad, My Lord sad loved Queen if by an effort of
the will. I could revoke the ever-present

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past disperse, the gawked, and gloomy ghosts of bygone, Deeds
or bind them with unparished, able chains.
In caverns of the past in cursor.
It then could I smile again? But not till then?
Oh my dear Lord, if oughta be that gives thy Soul, unrest.

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Tell it to me. Well, loved and faithful wife
tender companion of my falteringlife.
Yes, I can. Trust the Listen then, to me 50
years since when butterhead strong lad, I wrote a five-act,

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tragedy Queen interested. Indeed a play writ by a king and
such a king finds ready Market. It was read at once but are twas
red accepted. Then the Teamed with portentous

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import Elsinore was duly placated by willing hands.
We know that walls have ears. I gave them tongues and they
were eloquent with promises. Even the dead walls.
I the dead. Are they?
The louder they proclaimed? Queen appalled.

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Oh, marvelous the day approached.
All Denmark stood again ape. Arrangements were devised At
Once by which seats might be booked a 12 month in advance.
The first night came and did theplay succeed in one sense?

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Yes. Oh, I was sure of it.
The fuss was given to play the people in My Tragedy succeeded
that that's all. And how long did it run about 10
minutes? The First Act had traced
one-half, its course. The curtain fell never to Rise

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again, and did the people his noworse than that.
They laughed sick with the shamethat covered me.
I knelt down palsied in my private box and pray the Hearst
and catacomb dead. Dead might quit, their vault and

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claim me for their own, but it was not to be oh my good Lord.
The house was surely pass. It was by me, my favorite
courtiers crowded every place from floor to floor.
The house was peopled by the sycophantic crew, My Tragedy was

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more than even sick. Events could stand, was it
milord self? Very, very bad not to deceive,
my trusting Queen, it was at when the prey fail.
Old did Stout take no steps to set thyself right with the
world. I did.

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The Acts were five though by five acts too long.
I wrote an act by way of epilogue in act by which the
penalty of death was meted out to all who sneered at it, the
play was not good but the punishment of those that laughed
at. It was Capital sync on it?
No more. My Lord.

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Now Mark me Well, to cheer our son who's solitary tastes and
tendency to Long Soliloquy have much alarmed us.
I am known to be have sent for Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to
marry knave, skin to Polonius, who will devise such Revels in

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our court, such Antics schemes of harmless merriment, as shall
abstract his meditative mind from sad employment claw Odious,
who can tell, but that they madedivert my Lord as well.
They are here enter Guildenstern, who kneels my

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homage to the queen and her rosenkranz in hot obedience to
the Royal chest. We have arrived prepared to do
our best. We welcome you to court.
Our Chamberlayne shall see that you are suitably disposed here
is his daughter. She will hear you.
Will and see that it receives Fair, countenance exit king and

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queen enter Ophelia who philia all Embrace her Ophelia
delighted and surprised Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.
This meeting likes me much. We have not met.
Since we were babes, the queen has summoned us and I have come
in a half-hearted hope that, I may claim once more my baby love

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alas. I am betrothed betrothed to whom
to handle it. Oh in comprehensible thou lovest
Hamlet nay. I said not.
So I said we were betrothed and what's he like a like for no two
seasons at a time. Sometimes he stole sometimes is

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very short now with black hair. Now, with a flaxen wig,
sometimes an English accent Thena French and English with a
strong provincial Burr Once An American and once a Jew but
Danish never taken how you will and it's strange to say.

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What are his tongue? Maybe whether he's darker.
Flexin English French though? We're in Denmark, a d-10 62.
He always stresses as King James.
The first, oh, he is sure. We mad.
Well, Derek gettin opinion is divided, some men, hold that

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he's the sanest for of all sane men.
Somebody's really sane the Charming Man and something that
he's really mad, but shaming seen some, that he will be mad
some that he was something that he couldn't be, but on the haul
as far as I can make out what they mean.

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The favorite theories somewhat like this Hamburg is idiotically
seen with Lucid intervals of lunacy.
We must devise some plan to stopthis match.
Stay many years ago, King Claudius, was guilty of a
five-act tragedy. The play was damned and none may

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mention it, under the pain of death, we might contrive to make
him play this piece before the king and take the consequence
impossible for every copy was Destroyed.
But one my father's mmm in his capacity as Chamberlain.
He has one copy I that's not it.When all the court is drowned in

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sleep, will creep with stealthy foot into his den and dare
abstract de precios manuscript. That's well, be thought in truth
but take a good heat. Your father May detect you.
Oh dear. No, my Father Spends His Long
official days in reading all therubbishing, new plays from 10 to

(10:00):
4 at work. He may be found and then my
father sleep succeeding send, Act 2 apartment in the castle
chair, right? Enter Queen Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern have u.s. yet planned.
All that may relieve our poor Afflicted Sons.

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Despondency Madam we have lost. No time already.
We are getting up. Some Court theatricals in which
the prince will play a leading part.
That's well be thought it will divert his mind.
See here, he comes how gloomily stocks as one or whelmed with
weighted better care. He thrust Just handed to his

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bosom, thus starts looks around then, as if reassured, rumple's
his hair and rolls his glassy eyes, that means he's going to
soliloquize. Prevent this gentleman by any
means, we will, but how anticipate his points and follow

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out his argument for him bus. Will you cut the ground from
Neath his feet and leave him notto say we will We will we will a
mother's blessing be upon you. Sirs exit, no Guildenstern.
Apply the you to this task enterHamlet.
He stalks to the chair throws himself into it to be or not to

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be Rosencrantz right of chair. Yes, that's the point.
Whether he's bravest who will cut his throat rather than
suffer all Guildenstern left herchair.
Suffer all rather than cut his throat Hamlet annoyed, an
interruption resumes to darlie to sleep.

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Nothing more death is but sleep spun out.
Why has it take offers him a dagger, the only question is
between the choice of deaths, which death to choose offers.
Another hamlet in great Terror do take those Dreadful things
away. They make my Blood run cold,

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resumes to sleep, perchance to dream.
That's very true. I never dream myself.
But guilder Stern dreams all night.
Long out loud with blushes sir. I do confess it true.
This question gentlemen concernsme not resumes for who would

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bear the whips and scorns of time Rosencrantz as guess.
A riddle. Who would bear the whips and
scorns now? Let me see who bear them.
A golden star same business, whowould bear the scorns of time
Rosencrantz, correcting him, whowhips and scorns the whips and

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scorns, of course, Hamlet about the protest.
Don't tell us, let us guess the whips of time.
Osers, this Interruption likes us not.
I pray, you give it up my Lord, we do.
We cannot tell who Bears these whips and scorns Hamlet, not

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heating them resumes but that the dread of something after
death that's true, post more. And the coroner fellow this a
Crossroads at 12 p.m. and then the forfeited life policy
exceedingly, unpleasant Hamlet, really angry gentlemen, it must

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be To the merest Dunst three persons can't soliloquize at
once Rosencrantz and Guildenstern retire up Hamlet,
aside, they're playing on me playing upon me who are not
fashioned to be played upon showthem a pipe.

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A thing of poles and stops made to be played on, they'll shrink
abashed and swear they have not skill on that.
Now Mark all Rosencrantz here producing a flute.
As rosenkranz comes down exit, cold and Stern.

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This is a well-toned flute. Play me are upon it sneeringly.
Do not say you know not how namebut I do know how I'm rather
good upon the flute. Observe plays an elaborate roll
ad. Hamlet, snatching it from him,
he virtually. Huh?

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Everything goes wrong, throws himself into a chair as if
buried and Soliloquy and to realphilia, white with Terror who's
in prawns. Well, I found a manuscript but
never put me to such work again.Why, what has happened?
That you tremble? So, last night, I stole them

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from my room alone and sold my father's Den.
I entered it the Clock Struck twelve and then oh horrible from
chest and cabinet are issued forth.
The Moldy specters of 5,000 plays all dead and gone and many
of them. Damned I shook with horror,

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encompassed me chattering forth,the sayings and parts of seems
which my poor father wisely had cut out.
Oh horrible. 002 was most horrible covering her face.
What was the uttered? A failure severely?
I decline to say, the more I heard, the more convinced was I,

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my father acted most judiciouslybut that's a feisty.
Give me them, the play. And I'll submit it to the
prince, but stay to not appear to urge him, hold him back or
he'll decline to play the piece.I know him Hamlet who has been
soliloquizing under his breath and lose the name of action

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Rises. Why what's that?
We have been looking through some dozen place to find.
One suited tour company, this ismy Lord, our fireback tragedy,
it is called gonzago but it willnot serve tis very long Hamlet.
Interested, is there a part for me there is My Lord, the most

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important part and that Archbishop who becomes a Jew
despite his diocese that's very good Rosencrantz.
Taking manuscript here you go mad and then serve rule applies.
Here you are the sane again. And then you don't then later

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on, you stabbed your aunt because well, I can't tell you
why you stabbed your aunt but still you stabbed her That he's
quite enough when you become theleader of a troop of Greek band,
ETA and soliloquize after a longand undisturbed career of murder
tempered by Soliloquy. You see, the sin and Folly of

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your ways and offer to resume your diocese but just too late
for terrible to tell as you wererepenting and Soliloquy the
bench of Bishops. He's you unawares and blow you
from a gun. One.
That's excellent. That's very good indeed.

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We'll play this piece. Let's pray.
Consider all the other parts areinsignificant.
What matters that will play thispiece.
The blacks and possible and all the dialogue bombastic stuff.
I tell you sir that we will playthis piece.

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Bestir yourself about it and engage all the most, fairly Fame
tragedians to play the small parts as tragedians.
Should a mad Archbishop. Yes, that's very good.
Act, 3 room in the palace prepared for a stage

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performance. Enter King Claudius and queen
meeting Rosencrantz. Affair, good.
Morrow to you rosenkranz how much the Royal Revels lamely
Madam lame, leap like a one-legged duck.
The princess discovered a strange play.
He hath called it a right Reckoning long-delayed and of

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what fashion is the princes play.
Does an excellent poor tragedy, my Lord, the thing of shreds and
patches welded into a form that have And mass without
consistency, like an ill built Villa.
But, sir, you should have used your best Endeavors to win his
fantasy from such a play. Madam, I did, and with some

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success for he, now see if the absurdity of its tragical
catastrophes, and laughs at it as freely as we do.
So I'll be at the poor author. Had hoped to have drawn tears of
sympathy, the prince has resolved to present it as a
piece of pie. His folly and tended to excite
no lofty or emotion than laughter and surprise.

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Here comes the Royal tragedian with his troupe, enter Hamlet
and players. Good, morrow, sir.
This is our company of players. They have come to town to do
honor and add completeness to our Revels.
Good says, we welcome you to Elsinore prepare you.

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Now we are a go Dog to taste theintellectual treat in store for
us. We are ready sir.
But before we begin I would speak a word to you who are to
play this piece. I have chosen this play in the
face of sturdy opposition from my well.

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Esteemed friends who were for playing a piece with less
bombastic Fury and more froelichBut only have thought this a fit
play to be presented by reason of that very pedantic bombast
and windy obtrusive rhetoric that they do.

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So rightly despise For I hold that, there is no such antique
fellow as your bombastic, all Hero who doth so earnestly spout
forth, his folly, as to make hishearers believe that he is,
unconscious of all incongruity, whereas he who doth?

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So, Mark, label and underscore his antique speeches as to show
that he is alive to there. Are absurdity seemeth to utter
them under protest and to take part with his audience against
himself for which reason, I pray, you let there be no huge

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red noses, nor extravagant monstrous weeks, nor course, men
grabbed as women in this commie tragedy for such things are as
much as to say. I am a comic fellow Only pray,
you laugh at me and whole what Isay to be cleverly, ridiculous.

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Such labeling of humor is an impertinence to your audience
for it. Seemeth to imply that they are
unable to recognize a joke, unless it be pointed out to
them. I pray, you avoid it.
Sir, we are beholden to you for your good counsels, but we would

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urge upon your consideration that we are accomplished
players, who have spent many years in learning our
profession, and we would ventureto suggest that it would better
be fit your lordship to confine yourself, to such matters, as
your lordship. May be likely to understand, we

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on our part may have our own ideas as to the duties of heirs.
Apparent. But it was Ill become us to air
them before your lordship, who may be reasonably supposed to
understand such matters, more perfectly than you're very
humble servants actually got Hamlet and players, right?
And left, come let us take our places call the court, that all

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may see. This fooling here's a chair.
The court enter. In which I shall find room to
roll about when left. It takes possession of my soul.
Now, we are ready. The curtain Rises enter a loving
couple lovingly. Should stop prove.

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Faceless if I do then let the world forget to woo the
mountaintops bow down in fears. The midday Sun dissolve in tears
and outraged nature pale and bent fall prostrate in
bewilderment Altair, if you thisbreaking into a laugh at the

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end, the king enjoying it, as much as anyone truly sir.
I hope he will prove faithful list.
We should all be involved in this catastrophe.
Much indeed depends upon his constancy, I am sure.
You have all our prayers. Gentlemen, aside Rosencrantz.

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Is this play well. Known it is not my Lord.
Ha I seem to have met with theselines before.
Go on. Ugh Dost.
Thou hear those trumpets and Andthey hated rival Stern.
Gonzago comes and where for Commerce, gonzago he come at

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here to woo cannot hear. Ooh, without an orchestra at his
elbow. The FICO for such a wooing.
Say, I Claudius rather alarmed aside to Rosencrantz, who is
gonzago. He's a mad Archbishop of
Elsinore tis. A Most ridiculous and mirthful
character and the more so that the poor author had hoped to

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have a Paul chew with his tragical.
And during this, the King has shown that he has recognized his
tragedy. He is horrified at the discovery
enter Hamlet as Archbishop all laugh.
Except a king, who is miserable free from the cares of church
and state Holly come to wreak mylove and hate.

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Love world's me to the lofty. Skies hate drags me where dark,
Pluto lies all laugh except KingMary but he must have a nice
time of it between them. Oh sir this path is the bounce
of ridicule. And to think that these lines

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were to have drawn our tears, truly mine eyes, run with tears.
Yes, but they are begotten of laughter gently.
Gently spare, your ridicule. Lest you have none left for the
latest scenes. This tragedy is full of such
windy. Fooling you shall hear more.

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And on there are five acts of this are grown.
Hamlet resumes for to Great ends, I daily fume, The Altar
and the deadly tomb. How can I live in such a state
and hold my Arch episcopate. Oh, my Lord, I pray.

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You understand? Or I shall die.
Would laughter, did Mortal ever hear such metrical fully?
Stop it. My good.
Lord, for he shall assuredly to myself some injury.
Oh, sir. Pretty have mercy on us.

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We have Loft and we can laugh nomore.
The troll is seen is coming. Now, listen, Claudia's Rises
stop Hamlet about to resume stop.
I say, cast off those memories come hither Hamlet.
Hamlet takes off, robes and comes down.
Well, I, what are you sir? Claudia's with suppressed Fury.

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Knowest. Thou, who wrote this play.
Not are indeed, nor do I care toknow.
I wrote this play to mention it is death by Denmark's law.
Spare him for he is then only child.

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No, I have to My son, my play both worthless.
Both shout together, Parish draws dagger Hamlet on his
knees. Hold the hyena and I can't bear
death. I'm a philosopher Apollo son.

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Luckiest built a phenotype Athens for philosophers dispute.
Because known as the lyceum senthim there.
He will find such a hearty. Welcome sir that he will stayed
at her. Goodness knows how long well be
it. So and Hamlet get you gone.

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He goes to the lyceum where he is much, esteemed curtain and of
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern by WS Gilbert.
First come first served by John medicine Morton.

(28:48):
This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
the public domain for more information or to volunteer.
Please visit librivox.org dramatis personae, Colonel
Challenger, read by Lori Wilson,Harry, Barton read by Max
shouting answer Royston, read byThomas.

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Peter me Mrs. Templeton read by Sonia, Julia Templeton read by
devorah Alan Josephine Templetonread by LC Selwyn stage
directions by David Olson. Seen mrs.
Templeton's Villa at Roehampton,handsomely furnished apartments

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large, french window at Center looking on a garden doors, right
hand, and left hand at right hand a table.
On which is an open album, at left-center, another table
covered with papers Etc table sofa, chairs Etc, enter mrs.

(29:55):
Templeton at Center followed by Colonel Challenger.
Cousin Martha, you are wrong, wrong wrong, a thousand times
wrong cousin Samuel. I'm right.
Right? Right.
Ten thousand times right? Obstinate old.
Old woman pigheaded, old men, what possible reason can you

(30:19):
have for setting your face again?
Josephine getting married It's downright tyranny, call yourself
aren't indeed. My reason is a very simple one.
Her elder sister Julia must finda husband.
First, first come first served and really you, my dear Mother,

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I must say that for a sensible woman.
You are by many degrees, the most Prejudiced, and most
self-willed, the most, of courseI am.
But I know very well that when Ionce do make up my mind to
anything, you stick to it like afly to a catch em alive.

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Oh, I don't choose that Julia. Should suffer what I did?
I had a sister Dorothy. Jane for years, my junior, who
married, before I did. Do you think that was pleasant
who supplied me with a sprinkling of nephews and nieces
before I had husband? And do you think that was

(31:26):
pleasant who gave Garden partiesballs, concerts to, which all
the world flocked and surrounded?
Her with flattery adulation while I was neglected
extinguished, regularly, snuffedout?
Do you think that was pleasant? Well, it is this humiliation

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that I am determined to spare Julia.
Well, you didn't lose It's by waiting, I'm sure Tom Templeton
was as good a creature as ever. Breathed didn't love long, poor
fellow but cut up remarkably. Well considering leaving his two
nieces his brother's children tomy charged with 10,000 pounds

(32:12):
each as a wedding portion, whichI must say, you didn't seem in a
hurry to part with. You know, my conditions, you
have only to find a husband for Julia.
When she refused half the good-looking fellas within 10
miles round, if she does mean tomarry, she takes her time about
it that I will say never seems to occur to her that she's

(32:37):
keeping her poor sister out in the cold.
Oh you may be mistaken cousin. I spoke to Julia only yesterday
and she expressed herself in terms which convinced me that
were she to A suitable, offer shoot, accept it.

(32:58):
Well, I'm glad she's coming to her senses at last and I shall
go away all the more comfortablein my mind.
Go away. Yes, I'm off back again to
Chilton him, touch of gout liverqueer.
Besides my work here is done your husband's Affairs which I

(33:19):
confess it's appeared to me at first sight to be in a state of
hopeless, confusion. Ian or no ordinary and
satisfactorily arranged. Thanks to my young colleague.
Gary Barton, who I must say, worked like a nigger over them.
By-and-by, he's another victim to miss Julius Caprice.
And fastidiousness, as she actually snubbed the poor fellow

(33:42):
before she had time even to lookat him much less know him.
Oh well you'll confess he Bears his disappointment with becoming
resignation. Yes, he's getting used to it
like the eels, he doesn't see the use of crying over spilt,
milk by the bye. And there's another matter of

(34:03):
5,000 pounds, coming to the girls out of the Hampshire
property but Barton will give you all the particulars.
I'm sure cousin I feel deeply indebted to you.
Not half as much as you ought tofeel to Harry Martin.
Hasn't he been here twice a weekfor the last month up to his
elbows in Lisa's? Loans mortgages in the deuce.

(34:25):
Those what? Oh here he comes.
Enter Harry Barton at Center a roll of papers under his arm a
lawyer's blue bag in his hand which he deposits on chair.
Bowing to mrs. Templeton you know 7th Madam to
Colonel my dear Colonel I hope you're well but perhaps I will

(34:48):
topologies friends again announced.
You may be engaged not at all. I am.
Aware mr. Barton.
How deeply I am in your debt butnow that the business which
served as your first introduction here is
satisfactorily, concluded. Pray, remember my house is open
to you as before Martin Mi, he will kindly excuse me.

(35:11):
Now, a few orders to give her two seats and exit left hand at
the same moment. The door and right hand opens
and Josephine peeps. In is the coast clear watching
Mrs. Templeton is, she goes out she's gone at last runs in
Martin meeting her Joe. Dear Joe taking her hand, which

(35:35):
she is about to kiss. Wait a minute looking after mrs.
Templeton, she's quite disappeared.
Now, you may holding out her hand to Barton, who kisses it
and now turning to Colonel you dear good.
Kind old. Uncle uncle, is it her cousin?
I never know. Which don't do is simple enough.

(35:57):
Your mother's Elder Brothers. Second ha.
Ha, never mind. Call me Uncle.
Well, have you spoken to Aunt? Martha?
Yes. Have you broken the ice cracked
it? That's all.
And what was the result? Did she consent or not?
Did you say yes or no? Why don't you speak?
Why don't you say something? How the deuce can I when you

(36:20):
won't let me get in a word edgewise.
Well, then my poor young, friends.
Sorry, I've no good news for you.
The old story over again. Miss Julia stops the way and yet
mrs. Templeton's pressing, invitation
to me to visit at her house is easily explained.

(36:41):
She doesn't even suspect that your affections have been
transferred from her Elder to her younger niece.
Then you should have told her. Then there would have been an
explosion. Yes.
Would you would have blown Master Harry clean out of the
street door? No, no, don't despair giulio.
Find a husband, the sooner or later sooner or later, but what

(37:06):
am I to do in the meantime? Yes.
What are we to do in the meantime?
I'm sure she's had plenty of offers, but one was too young.
Another was 20. Old one was too rich and other
wasn't Rich enough. Even poor Harry here, though.
He followed her around like a shadow and I'm sure made himself
sufficiently ridiculous. Even he wasn't good enough for

(37:29):
her. Ladyship it's downright absurd
being so particular. I'm sure I wasn't no deer.
Joe you took pity on me at once.No, not quite once.
I didn't jump at you but what what is to be done?
I've patience. And haven't I been patient for

(37:50):
the last five weeks, five weeks,and three days, five weeks, and
three days. Such an idea, such a capital
notion. Listen, Julia must find a
husband or a husband must be found for Julia.
That's a subtle Point, quite so.Well then, as she sets, her

(38:12):
face, against a young one. Yes.
As she says, her face, against the young ones and turns up her
nose at a handsome one, and turns up her nose at ahead.
Someone to Colonel. She might find you more to her
taste. She might find me more to her.
Her seen Josephine laughing. So Miss Sassy one, you're

(38:34):
poking. Fun of me.
Are you then you'll be good enough to find another victim.
I mean another admirer for Miss Julia.
He God. I must make haste to pack up or
I shall lose my train. Come along with me.
Little one. Goodbye, Barton.
Keep up your spirits. Recollect.

(38:55):
You've still got me and me Harry, not yet.
But Will excellent Colonel and Josephine at door, right?
Hand. Dear Josephine.
What a contrast to her cold insensible.
A pathetic sister. I who loved her.
So, sincerely. So, devotedly made such a

(39:18):
thorough spoon of myself. I was even weak enough to
believe, I was not quite indifferent to her.
I confess. I felt hurt considerably hurt,
infernal e, hurt. But if she flattered herself I
should be inconsolable. She never was more mistaken in

(39:39):
her life. She little dreamt.
How soon I should find a cure for my infatuation in the charms
of her Angelic sister, dear Josephine, and to think there's
no hope of my calling her mine till we find somebody to call
her sister his, by, the by here are a few papers.

(40:00):
I must look over. She didn't himself at table and
opening. Bruce Royston heard without very
well, take my cards to mrs. Templeton.
I'll wait, I'm in, no hurry. Hey, Dee who have we here?
Enter, basil Royston, It Center coming down seen Barton, I think

(40:21):
pounds Barton Rising. Say I be seated, I think not
till you set me. The example for it into chair,
they seat themselves. Let me say you are doubtless
waiting to see mrs. Templeton.
No sir. Oh, one of the family.
Perhaps, possibly a friend. Yes, a friend.

(40:45):
He's very inquisitive Royston. Looking at album.
But Charming watercolors. Perfect gems.
They are the work of mrs. Templeton Zelda.
Nice, are you an artist now? Merely an amateur and you humble
member of Of the legal profession.

(41:06):
Lawyer a Achieve is a chance forme, I've half a mind to looks
very picture of good nature in 6and 8 been so and ruin me.
Might have been just I'm so veryslight and acquaintance to
solicit. Your professional opinion Barton
bowels. It is rather a delicate subject,

(41:28):
a very peculiar subject. I'm all attention, sir, merely
observing that the sooner you begin the sooner I should have
done exactly. Then I'll come to the point dead
ones. I would ask you whether in your
opinion a promise of marriage written under the certain Dances

(41:49):
and under certain conditions, must necessarily be binding,
such conditions being first and foremost, that the lady should
have a head, altered, have her head, altered, I mean, have a
hair dyed, which condition the lady has not complied with no

(42:10):
sir. It is ready as ever.
Then some have no hesitation in saying that the promise falls to
the ground. You sir seizing Barton's hand
and shaking it aside and sighing?
Well, Sofia may I inquire the name of my new client Smiley

(42:31):
Royston, the Roy sense of bambury.
Yes, Anne-Marie when the cakes come from, I was aware that mrs.
Templeton expected you on a matter of business, a certain
sum of money. I believe yes coming to the
family from some Hampshire property.
I imagined mr. Royston was a much older person.

(42:52):
I see you mean. Jonathan Jonathan, yes, my
brother. The head of the firm.
He's 20 years, my senior, but ashe could not spare, the time to
come. He sent to me.
It's worth to trial decidedly worth it.
Look in the side at Royston. Young gentlemanly.
Sufficiently good. Looking good family.

(43:16):
Here goes, excuse my can do. But I think I guess your motive
in putting the professional question, you did just.
Now you are the writer of the promise of marriage in your
desires of Contracting. Another Alliance a I don't care
about it but Jonathan does or safe.
Yeah. Perhaps you have some party in

(43:40):
view. No.
But I'm on the lookout and no doubt.
Anxious to succeed not particularly but Jonathan is
perhaps that is object of your visit here.
Is that a marriageable young lady here?
Yes. I should like to see her.

(44:02):
Nothing more easy. What age, 20 and if Fortune
10,000 that adjust suit Jonathanpretty Charming, had a just
suited me. He got, suppose, I try my luck.
I've half a mind, have a whole one.

(44:22):
I've notion you'll succeed, but I know nobody here.
I beg your pardon, you know, me a know me for years Royston,
suddenly seen Barton's. Meaning of course I have ever
since we were children, babies We went to the same school

(44:44):
together. Of course we did at Tunbridge
Wells. Yes, that's bag ninja Wells.
And we have been friends ever since bosom friends and you
really do all you can to serve me.
Of course I will and myself at the same time thousand.

(45:04):
Thanks my dear by the by what should I call you Harry.
And you Basile grasp. Martin's hand, Sophia might
scratch your eyes out, but Jonathan will bless you hush.
Seeing miss Templeton who entersat left hand.
Sorry to have kept, you waiting mr.
Royston. I'm here Madam as my brother's

(45:27):
representative, I am aware of it.
Mr. Burton allow me to introduceto you.
No necessity for it. Madam basil is an old friend of
mine. Yes.
Madam. I little thought of meeting an
old schoolfellow here. Here Royston, shaking Barton's
hand warmly some years ago now hey Tom Harry Harry, so you were

(45:53):
schoolfellows say yes. Ma'am at back ninja Bells,
Tunbridge of course. Tunbridge, you must have had
some difficulty in recognizing each other.
I had very considerable difficulty.
I assure you We should have met earlier, no doubt, but for my

(46:16):
friends lengthened absence in Italy, significantly to Royston.
Yes. Ah, Charming country for those
who don't mind the cold, I'll assign from Barton.
I mean, the heat mrs. Templeton aside, and looking at
Royston, really a vastly agreeable, young men enter.

(46:39):
Curdled it right hand. So rice didn't has Arrive.
Has he seen basil? Hay Day, why?
This is basil? His younger brother.
That's your service. Colonel you are acquainted.
Then I was intimate with his mother's family.
Indeed, I may say I was the means of getting him a
nomination to the blue coat school.

(47:02):
This is Juiced awkward. The blue coat school.
I thought you said Tunbridge Wells Royston.
Recollecting. Yes, that was For I mean after I
suspect these young fellows are playing some little game of
their own and what's more I can pretty well guess what?

(47:22):
It is mrs. Templeton to Colonel as mr.
Royston is an entire stranger tome?
May I ask you, cousin Samuel. What is the opinion?
You have formed of him. Oh, a very Charming young man,
indeed who's respectable family and ample income.
I'm already with Great Expectations from a couple of

(47:45):
aunts and a godmother a little while the present, perhaps, but
he'll soon settled down when he's buried, happy the woman who
makes the conquest of such a man.
There. Now I'm in the conspiracy to
mrs. Templeton to Royston your
friend. Mr. Barton does not leave here

(48:06):
till tomorrow, you, I hope will also defer your departure till
then Barton quickly to Royston. Of course, you will to mrs.
Templeton, of course, he will toRoyston killed only be too
delighted to mrs. Templeton, he'll only be too

(48:26):
delighted. He is mine.
He's going up to meet Julia. Who enters its Center Royston?
Seeing Josephine, who had the same moment enters at right
hand, look what a Charming creature?
No, no, it isn't she, it's the other.
Look, they're pointing to Julia.There's a figure.

(48:49):
There's a symmetry. Look at all those finely
chiseled features. Yes yes.
But still in my opinion, Lookingat Meijer Elia Josephine your
opinion. Indeed.
What do you know about it Josephine aside the kernel and
pointing to Royston. Quiet has Harry found somebody

(49:10):
already Julia my dear allow me to present mr.
Royston, an old friend of mr. Barton's, Julia, courtesy
stiffly to Royston. Martin to Royston.
There's a curtsy, that's what I Curtsy.
Yes, but as I said before, of the, to I prefer looking at

(49:33):
Josephine, you prefer indeed, surely.
I must know better than you to Julia my friend Royston.
A distinguished amateur of the Fine Arts is in raptures with
your sketches. Miss Julia, Julia courtesy
stiffly again, why don't you think, mr.
Royston. Sister Royston aside to Barton.

(49:56):
She's a A sister. Hey yes a little harmless
insignificant schoolgirl. Still.
I repeat if I had to choose between them, my dear fellow, if
you only knew what nonsense you are talking Zounds.
I hope isn't going to fall in love with Josephine sorry to
interrupt but my time is precious and business must be

(50:18):
attended to mr. Royston will you step into the
dining room with your papers Barton?
You'll come to Josephine. Hastily aside to Barton.
I understand it all here you area very nice young man, indeed,
and likely to stand a good chance.
Don't you think so, where did you pick him up?

(50:38):
So soon, hush, I'll explain. Nothing another time, Colonel
and mrs. Templeton exeunt at right hand
followed by Barton and Royston Royston.
Stops turns and makes a profoundbow to Josephine.
Parton pushes him out. I wonder what she thinks of him.
A very gentlemanly young, man, mr.

(51:00):
Royston. Don't you think so?
Julia, I scarcely looked at him.That's not very encouraging.
How do you manage to find so many admirers?
I can't. Julia smiling hitherto perhaps,
I may have had the Lion's Share of attention, homage and
professed admiration, but your turn will come.

(51:21):
It's a long time about it. You're so difficult to please.
And poor mr. Royston.
I suppose, we'll be snubbed likethe rest Josephine.
Surely you don't? Imagine that there are some
attraction for him. Here, of course, I do.
It can't be at Martha. Nor I, I'm only a child.

(51:42):
Josephine you speak as though you are peaked vexed.
I might almost say envious envious.
I of what of what? Indeed, dear one, the Privileges
of an elder sister are not. So enviable after all, what is
often her lot to be constantly exposed to flattery adulation

(52:04):
from the lips of strangers compelling her to assume an
extreme Reserve in order to modify the exaggerated.
And at times in Delicate and call me names of relatives and
friends. What is the necessary?
Result? Doubt, distrust suspicion, nay,
even Prejudice, often times unjust against those who profess
a desire to please on this impulse.

(52:25):
I have acted an Impulse dictatedby self respect and do sense of
my own dignity. What a serious tone.
But just think how cruelly how unjustly you may have acted and
I'm sure as for mr. Royston.
To Royston again, silly child. Child perhaps, I could mention a

(52:46):
little fact that but I won't goodbye to my secret.
If I did goodbye, are you going to leave me too?
Haven't I got to write out all the invitations for our ball on
the 23rd. You birthday true?
Yes, that is the professed reason, but of course, it is on

(53:07):
your account that it is given Josephine.
I know a younger sisters Duty, Miss Templeton makes a low
courtesy, and exit left hand, Josephine sister.
Did she but know how she missed?Judges me?
How heavily I've been punished for that.
Pride, that apparent in sensibility with, what?

(53:29):
She approaches me. Oh, Harry Harry.
Could you book tell how bitterlyI have?
Repented, but surely surely. The cruel.
Wicked indifference with, which I treated his affection, his
devotion cannot have entirely destroyed them.
Some little spark of the old flame, must still remain else.

(53:49):
Why is he? So constantly here, Why does he
still seemed to seek my presenceat any rate?
He shall see that I am no heartless Coquette.
And when this mr. Royston, presents himself, as
I'm sure he will see in Royston who enters from right hand, I
thought so she's an M. He's decided to handsome gets.

(54:11):
As I said the fool, there's something about the other that
that wow, into Julia Miss Templeton Julia courtesy sir.
The business matter in which youare engaged.
Is I presume settled. Yes.
The signatures alone are required.
In that case. Perhaps I had better about to
retire one moment, I bake. he's decided to leave that it has

(54:37):
still don't know how it is, but there is certainly something
about the other that that's Before leaving his house
tomorrow with my new acquaintance.
I mean my old friend Barton. Mr. Burton leaves tomorrow.
Yes. The last I'm saying alas because
one day only is now left with meto admire your physical,

(54:59):
attractions your mental accomplishments.
Oh sir believe me, my sister is far more accomplished than I am
far. Be it from me, to deny it, still
from the highly eulogistic termsin which everyone speaks of you
your sister among the first, Sir, dear Josephine is so
amiable, so affectionate so good.

(55:21):
So loving so Angelic. He sticks up for her sister that
I will say. Still there are certain
attractions which we can only judge us by our own eyes and who
can possess them to a greater degree than Josephine such
Exquisite Grace such absolute perfection of form.
And feature this sister again, if we go on at this rate, we

(55:43):
shan't get on very fast. Allow me to be frank with you,
my brother Jonathan but perhaps you've never heard of Jonathan
Jonathan Royston of Banbury witha cakes.
Come from. Well he often reproaches me was
being what he calls, rather wildand fast and flighty.
The only fault I find with Josephine.
Dear child, she is so giddy. So thoughtless so excitable what

(56:07):
a capital match? You'd make that's a pretty broad
hint. And he I mean Jonathan is says
that the best thing I could do would be to get married.
The very conclusion I have come to about Josephine training
looks as if she wanted to turn me over to his sister.

(56:27):
And having received the flattering assurance that my
pretensions to your hand might possibly not be unsuccessful
from home, cray doubtless, from my aunt.
Oh no, from my dear old friend Barton, mr.
Burton he, no, no. I cannot will not believe it.
I'm sure he will. Not deny it and see.

(56:50):
Fortunately, he's here, enter Barton.
It right-hand, door, Miss Templeton.
Your presence is required in thedrawing room, Julia.
Very coldly and seating herself at table.
Presently. Barton aside to Royston.
Well, what news? All right.

(57:11):
At least if it isn't this one, it'll be the other one of the
two. What do you mean by the other?
The little harmless insignificant schoolgirl?
You know, come found a fellow, he says for the notion of
marriage into my head and I won't leave this house The
Bachelor. Yeah, I'll marry somebody, I
leave you together. You plead my cause when she and

(57:31):
pictured strong went, you shall be all anxiety to know the
result because if she won't haveme, I can fall back on the
other. Don't you see choking Burton's
hand and runs out at Center, Barton, aside, and looking at
Julia to have to plead the causeof another.
When, in spite of me, her presence will recall the past.

(57:56):
Painful humiliating as it is. Your friend has left you mr.
Barton. He has Miss Templeton but he has
left an advocate to intercede with you on his behalf.
A willing and an Earnest one. No doubt who probably has
already furnished him with a detailed catalog of my tastes
habits, Pursuits disposition, he's been blabbing.

(58:18):
Surely he cannot have betrayed my confidence, the charge of
betrayal of confidence should rather be leveled at one who by
his intimacy. With a family into which he is
admitted on terms of friendship,isn't able to study the
characters of its members for the purpose of retailing.
The result of his observations to others, I would not affect to
misunderstand your approve. It is true that I spoke of you

(58:40):
to mrs. Royston.
In terms which you fully Merit that even told him your heart
was free perfectly absolutely free you undertook to be his
Advocate with such Zeal such earnestness.
One might almost imagine you hadsome Personal interest.
And what? If I had an interest, a powerful

(59:01):
interests. Indeed, yes.
And after this, somewhat harsh rejection, I met with that your
hands which no doubt a fully merited.
What greater proof can I give ofthe scene?
We shall still hold you then to confide my secret to you secret.
What can he mean that on the eveof leaving your family, I should

(59:24):
feel far less regret. Could I but indulge in the hope
of ever becoming connected with it by a close that I can?
It be has he forgotten forgiven?Can he still care for me?
But why this silence? This want of confidence in me?
Frankly because we feared you would oppose our wishes, our

(59:46):
hopes, our hopes. We feared.
Yes, she especially she of whom are you speaking?
Name. Surely I must have mentioned it.
Your sister Julia starting from her chair Josephine.
Yes, rejected by her elder sister, I sought, and found

(01:00:11):
solace and consolation in her goodness and sympathy.
So your frequent visits your constant presence here.
Apparently, so inconsistent withyour wounded feelings, are now
explained, it was for her. And I was to be kept in
ignorance too fancy to believe to hope Miss Templeton.

(01:00:33):
I Now understand this anxiety todispose of my hand.
This crowd of admirers thrown inmy way, What mattered?
My feelings, my happiness. I was an obstacle to be removed.
I implore you Julia stamping herfoot silencer.
Enter, mrs. Templeton hurriedly.
Ed right hand. What is the meta here, Julia?

(01:00:56):
What means this excitement this agitation to Barton, perhaps you
so I am as much surprised as yourself Madam.
I venture to confide to Miss Julia, my pretensions to the
hand of her sister. What you had the cruelty, the

(01:01:16):
barbarity to make such an avowalto her elder sister advancing
upon Barton. Who retreats Two lesser ate her
feelings to wound her bride. Yes, that's it to wound my pride
but really silence young men. I remember what my feelings

(01:01:41):
were. When my younger sister was
married before me, I was chokingsir.
Suffocating sir. I turned positively purple.
All sorts of colors and here is a little Put forward chit daring
to follow her and Dorothy, Jane's example.

(01:02:02):
But here she comes, enter kernelfor right hand and Josephine
from left hand. So miss advancing angrily, I'm
Josephine a pretty account. I've heard of you to mix
yourself up at your age in a silly romance and nonsensical of
intrigue with my dear Martha. Mrs. Templeton turning sharply

(01:02:28):
on him, hold your tongue cousin Samuel, but and if you only
allow me, but I won't allow you to Julia.
Keep up your spirits poor persecuted victim victim.
It seems to me that I'm the victim.
Just as I thought I was going tobe married and saddled beginning

(01:02:52):
to sob, Colonel tries to pacifier Married and settled.
Indeed, a child, a baby like youto Barton after what has
occurred, sir. You will see that your further
presence and that this roof Barton bowing.
I am fully understand Madam. Mrs. Templeton to Josephine come

(01:03:17):
Miss, follow me Josephine about to speak.
Not a word. It is for me too.
Speak as you will find, I intendto do.
And to some purpose, this way making Josephine passed before
her. She and Julia follow her out at
right hand. Whew, here is a pretty piece of

(01:03:41):
business. Not satisfied, which rejecting
me herself, she carries her Prejudice her hate so far as to
hate nonsense. Bye.
A job. I have it.
At least, I think I have what ifshe should feel a sneaking

(01:04:02):
kindness for you, after all sure.
But what about friend? Royston, hang friend Royston,
with all my heart but where the deuce is?
He waiting somewhere? Other to hear the result of my
interview with Miss Templeton inwhich you undertook to plead his
cars are? Yes, and forgot all about it.

(01:04:26):
My excited to plead my own. What's that?
Do you mean to say you can fightit to her?
The secret between you and Josephine?
Yes. Trusting in her generous nature
and her sisterly affection, I certainly did and a pretty mess
you've made of it. Well, I must find Royston and

(01:04:48):
let him know as for you as you've received orders to March
the sooner you pack up and pack off The better hurries out at
Center door it right? Hand opens and Josephine peeps
in Harry. Are you alone?
Quite alone Reese forward? Yes.

(01:05:08):
What is it? Such a discovery.
She's got one. She who Julia got one, but what
I can man, shut up in a box in abox, listen, after being well,
scolded by Aunt Martha. I follow Julia to her room.

(01:05:28):
There she was with a little openbox before her out of what she
took something. Looked at it then pressed her
lips to it gave such a sigh. You might have heard it here,
perhaps you did. Well, then aunt called her and
she hurried out of the room, leaving the box on the table and
then, and then somehow or other here, it is producing a small

(01:05:50):
casket. It looks as if there was a young
man inside, I mean, a portrait, doesn't it?
You've Not open it. No that's for and Martha to do.
Surely you would not betray yoursister secret?
Perhaps her happiness not she cared about mind and she Aunt
Martha must and shall see it going Martin stops, her the Box

(01:06:13):
falls on stage and opens their their, how clumsy you are.
Martin picks up the box and thensuddenly starting what do I see?
That's what I want to know. No, it is a portrait, isn't it?
Yes. No, I'm a fancy sketch.
Nothing more taking miniature from box and hastily concealing

(01:06:37):
it. In his breast pocket, be
persuaded by me, replace the boxwhere you found it.
Giving box to her, man to our take, just one little peep Not
that I've an atom of curiosity. No, no.
Well, if you insist on it, I do not insist.
I beg implore of you very well Josephine hurries out at right.

(01:07:02):
Hand Barton watching her out, then taking miniature out and
looking at it, my portrait. And what is written here?
Reading from memory, What am I to think?
Can I dare to hope that her indifference was assumed that

(01:07:23):
she ever loved me? That she loves me still can such
happiness be mine. Dear dear Julia, but sounds what
about Josephine poor little girl, I can't marry them both.
What? What is to be done?

(01:07:46):
Walking up and down. Will anybody tell me what's to
be done? Enter Royston Hurley at Center
Royston? Coming down.
Oh, here you are. I couldn't wait any longer
following Barton up and down. Don't worry, don't bother do
that. When I want to thank you for
introducing me to this charming amiable family.

(01:08:08):
And to tell you, I don't despairof becoming one of it.
What word? I'm in love.
There's no mistake about it. Over head and ears in love.
What sir you persist in carryingon this absurd.
Ridiculous joke, joke. Yes sir.
I beg to tell you I'll not allowI'll not permit you to annoy

(01:08:30):
poor. Dear Julia I mean Miss Templeton
with your unwelcome attention sir, your absurd, input unities,
sir, Miss Templeton a mighty That fellow she's nothing
whatever to do with it. It's the other the little one
Josephine. Yes, my dear fellow.

(01:08:52):
Come to my arms, throwing his arms about Royston.
Who struggles. I congratulate you, I give you
Joy. Such a sweet Charming.
Amiable creature brimful of talent, overflowing with
tenderness. Come to my arms again.
Embracing roasted again then you'll speak to me.

(01:09:14):
Hey speak for yourself. Here she comes.
Enter Josephine, hurriedly it right stopping unseen Royston.
Mr. Royston. Martin aside to Royston.
Now, then speak out, don't be afraid, but on the sentimental
look, Royston. Assuming a very lackadaisical

(01:09:37):
look, this sort of thing, Miss Josephine Aye-Aye.
It's very awkward. If I only knew how to begin go
on, pardon my frankness, but it has been impossible for me to
find myself in your Charming Society of have been captivated
Enchanted by a Fascinations. Your I thought it was my sister

(01:10:02):
who said it was but she wouldn'thave me.
That's why I know that won't do.No, that won't do.
And you don't hesitate to address me in this language.
Before we came to Barton, beforemy friend, my bosom friend that
I went to school with that bag needs Wales.

(01:10:22):
Why should I it is he who encourages me, who tells me to
go on? You told me to go on?
Didn't you Josephine looking at Barton but has it never occurred
to you that you might have a rival so much, the better I
should make it, my immediate business to sweep him off the
face of the Earth Josephine. Barton and you sir, you can

(01:10:47):
listen with perfect calmness anddifference.
Have you nothing to say, yes, have you nothing?
Hold your tongue, ah, who can anticipate events?
How little do we know what? The few hours may bring forth?
Yes. How little do we know the hold

(01:11:08):
your tongue in a word? What if circumstances compelled
me to leave England? And for considerable time a
considerable time. Yes.
For two years at least possibly more two or three years could I
venture to hope that you would submit to such attacks on your

(01:11:29):
goodness, your patients? I should think not indeed, she
doesn't love me huzzah. What?
Cause is then open to me one, only one to sacrifice myself to
the happiness of my friend Royston, grasping, his hand

(01:11:52):
glorious creature. But what about your own
happiness? It isn't likely you could give
me up so quietly without some other reason some other motive I
have another motive which for your sisters sake, you Respect.
In a word that portrait in Julia's box.

(01:12:14):
Yes, well was mine. See, two keynote portrait and
showing it yours. It is yours is he is then then
you are her young man after all.Yes.
You are her young man of course now I understand.

(01:12:36):
Now, I see it all. So, do I know I didn't at least
not quite enter, Colonel Hurley.It's enter singing as he comes
in. See the Conquering Hero Comes
victory victory. Everything settled.
And now, my dear young friends shaking Barton's and Josephine's
hands. You can get married as soon as

(01:12:59):
you like married. Yes, I had a devil of a fight
for it, but I've carried the day.
Aunt Martha can since Julia kid sits, everybody can since I
think your pardon, I doomed, I forbid the banns enter mrs.
Templeton followed by Julia at right hand Julia aside.

(01:13:23):
It she sees Barton still here. So Aunt Martha, you've given
your consent and you to Julia. Julia endeavoring to conceal her
emotion. Yes, Josephine willingly.
Gladly, can I be indifferent to your happiness smiling?
Sadly, how bravely she Bears herself.

(01:13:44):
And yet just now, you were so indignant.
So, angry with me a momentary, Caprice and unworthy jealousy.
But no more of that. Kiss me.
Dear sister kissing, Josephine and moving away but here, but
you won't suffer long. Poor dear martyr.
Suddenly bursting into loud laughter.

(01:14:05):
Aside to Colonel laughs. Colonel forcing laughs.
Ha ha. Ha laughs, ha ha.
Ha laughing about. What is the matter?
You don't mean to say, you've all been taken in, did you think

(01:14:26):
we were in Earnest all the time?Let's decide to Colonel laughs.
Ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha Josephine.
I insist on you explaining this extraordinary, Behavior
instantly, nothing so simple to Colonel and Barton.

(01:14:48):
There's no necessity for are carrying on this innocent little
jest. Any longer is there just yes
this harmless conspiracy to makeeverybody happy?
It dear, it was to test your love for me that I pretended to
be so very anxious to get married.
Which I wasn't the least little bit in the world with a Sly.

(01:15:09):
Look at Royston. I mean, I wasn't then my fellow
conspirator mr. Barton fearing that your
rejection of him might proceed from a preference for another
joined in the plot, but very unwilling for it.
Is you Julia, you've along that he has ever loved you alone that
he loves still. What is it?
I hear. The truth Madam to Julia may.

(01:15:33):
I hope or must I Endure a secondrefusal.
I suffered Too Much from the first Harry giving her hand to
Barton. That's one couple but there's
room for another to mrs. Templeton matin, I have the
honor to solicit the hand of your younger niece, Miss
Josephine. With all my heart, mr.

(01:15:57):
Royston. That is unless Josephine objects
but she doesn't give in her handto Royston.
You see, Jonathan would be satisfied after all.
Yes, let's pull a severe brush, aside to Josephine and slipping
the portrait into her hand. You'll put this portrait back in

(01:16:21):
its place. She won't care to look at it
now. She's got the original.
The curtain Falls. End of first come first served
by John Madison Morton. Wanted a male cook a forest by

(01:16:45):
George Melville Baker. This is a LibriVox recording all
LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more
information or to volunteer, please visit librivox.org.
Characters mr. Hartwell an old Bachelor read by

(01:17:06):
Lori Wilson Joshua, Slocum from Greenville, Maine read by Todd,
Teddy, Ryan, a native of Ireland, read by Thomas Peter
Francois, a French cook read by pulling that ornery stage

(01:17:27):
directions, read by Max shearling, you Seen room in mr.
Hartwell's house entrances, right and left, table and
chairs. Enter mr.
Hartwell left. Sure, this is a cold morning to

(01:17:49):
pee without a servant since my Irish servant, took it into her
head to leave me because I objected to her having the
Parlor for her company every night in the week.
I am determined to have no more of the female sex in the house.
Consequently I have inserted an advertisement in the papers for

(01:18:13):
a male cook and a male cook. I suppose, I shall see this
morning. Racket outside.
Joshua outside tanks on your blasted stairs are nearly broke
my neck and to Joshua left, rubbing his shins.
What do you mean by coming into a man's house in this matter?

(01:18:34):
Wow. You see your horse.
I couldn't And in locker. So I just opened the door and
walked in. Why didn't you ring the bell?
No, you don't. I don't ring no Bells.
I reckon, I ain't called The Shootist young, man in
Greenville. That's where I come from for

(01:18:57):
nothing. I reckon y'all.
Don't catch me ringing Bells. I was coming along the road this
morning and I see on a door. Please.
Ring the bell. Well as I am considered in
Greenville that's where I come from about their politest fell

(01:19:17):
in town. I steps up and rings the bell
birdie soon. A big black nigger stuck his
head out and wanted to know whatI was ardour.
O says, I know nothin, I'm bleach to you.
What did you ring the bell for then, says he because you sign
here xp2 says, I go away says heshit says, I with that out he

(01:19:47):
comes and gives me the all firedas kick that made me see more
stars and there aren't all the Palmetto Flags in South
Carolina. So I guess I shouldn't trouble
anymore Bells. Well sir, what do you want with
me? Well, you see Squire, I come
here from Greenville, that's where I belong, Greenville.

(01:20:09):
Maine some folks to say it's Downey's.
But but this is, we don't calculate we begin to be down
east. Well, as I said, a, for a
suppose, you don't mind me eating a little sampled.
Purse out the donut breaks one and a half of it to mr.
Hartwell weren't you have a piece choir?

(01:20:31):
No, sir. Obliged to you.
I'm afraid you'll Rob yourself. Look, I know.
I got a heap more in this year bundle these are of moms, she
belongs in Greenville to As I said, a for dad, says he to me,
he belongs in Greenville to says, he to me, George War.

(01:20:56):
He always called me Mama whole first name though, the fellas
and gals here in Greenville. That's where I come from used to
call me Josh, for short, says Dad to me.
Joshua work is getting slack with me.
Just about this time. So I reckon you had better do up
your sunday-go-to-meeting clothes in a bundle and start

(01:21:19):
off to Boston to seek your fortune.
So Dad, give me a dollar. Mon fraud me some doughnuts and
sister derusha. She belongs in Greenfield to
iron to be a clean Dickie and here I am in Boston.
Wow. Well, what's all this to me?
Hold on Squire. Oh, y'all, Isis.

(01:21:42):
And I'll tell you. I was reading a newspaper and
and I come across your card and want a milk cook.
So I thought I'd just step up and and see what kind of looking
cut, are you be? And what you will give the
tallest woodchopper the spry as cattle driver, and the greatest
fella among the girls in all Greenville.

(01:22:04):
Maine. That's where I come from.
Can you cook? Look here, Squire come to talk
about cooking of you. Hire me.
I reckon you get about the smartest hour to cook clam
chowder, big Pan, Dowdy the fried donuts, there is this side
of Greenville. Maine, that's where I come from.

(01:22:26):
And as the soup mocktail a cow tail.
I reckon I can whip all salad. Doolittle.
All holler and she is reckoned about this - cook in our town.
Well Joshua has you seem to be an honest sort of chap.
I don't mind trying new it a dollar. 50, a week and board
till I find out how much you areworth.

(01:22:48):
Will that do one dollar and a half and board?
Wow, I swore dad did say I should make an eternal Fortune
here in this Boston, but I reckon he didn't expect such a
pile of that. Yes, quiet.
I'll let you boss me at that rate.

(01:23:08):
Well, then just go down into thekitchen and build a fire and I
will come down until tell you where to find the things for
breakfast. Yes, choir.
I'll fix it in a minute. One dollar and a half, n board.
What would our jerusha's, say, exits, right?
Leaving his bundle on the table.Well, I have got a mail cook at

(01:23:32):
last rather agree one to be sure, but then he's so honest,
he won't steal my eggs, nor present, rather large samples of
my sugars to his cousins. I think you'll prove a treasure
barking of dogs outside, Teddy outside.
Out of that's your spot. He's murder.

(01:23:54):
Murder comes tumbling in and rolls on the floor left.
Hello. Who have we here?
The top of the morning to you. Where's your father?
My father. Yes, mr.
Cartwheel, I am mr. Hartwell this Diwali.
See faith. I thought it was your
grandmother and a Calico nose cone.
What do you want? If you please sir, I'm the cook.

(01:24:17):
Oh, another applicant. You are too late.
Eight, I'm supplied and sure ain't it in the papers.
I Look to know. Do you think I came all the way
from Ireland to be trifled with,in this way.
But I tell you, I am supplied, got a supply of you, then the
more need of someone to cook it up for you.
But I tell you, I have just hired a cook.

(01:24:39):
And what did you stick that? Bit of a nose.
Is for a cook in the paper for bad luck to you.
When I put that in, I was in whatever, Cook young, man,
applied. And I hired him thing you don't
want to Your honor that look to you to be Ryan.
You're always soon enough to be too late.
I suppose. I must have been born the next
year. After I first saw the light

(01:25:01):
here, is some self that is just left to a door Ireland and the
little thatched cottage, which only leaves when it's rained.
Where the pig, myshelf got too long so happily together,
rolling in the mud and fighting a, to loving Brothers, to come
to this America, what they call the land of liberty.
It's a great land of liberty by Marshall.
And I first set my My foot on the Solid Ground, the dry land

(01:25:23):
of Boston, which by the way, wasin the water over my head
because do your mind, I tumbled over boards.
When I was to come ashore a gray, dog liquor not knowing the
looks of a gentleman like myselfcame at me stooped down in the
street to pick up a store and Big Daddy were all fastened
down. It's a great land of liberty by
my soul. With a dogs are all like loose

(01:25:46):
and stones are all tied down so you don't want to cook your
honor. No Teddy, no cook.
Don't you want a chambermaid? You see an old Ireland, the pig?
And I had one bed together and just it was might inconvenience
her. The PA guide on the chamber
work. No young man.
No chambermaid. Then good day, your honor.

(01:26:08):
You say you have a cook. Yes.
Yes. And here he comes.
Is that a cook, faith is forgot to comb his head and told Joshua
left. Well Joshua fire built Yes,
choir after he but trouble. You see I went down where you
said the world was and I couldn't find Nothin But A lot

(01:26:31):
of boards and these were all covered up with a pile of stones
black as your hat. So I just stepped out to the
back gate and I see the fellow going by what a wheelbarrow.
So I just sung out to him say what are your card off?
A lot of stones for Well, he looked into stones and then hit

(01:26:51):
me. And then he laughed and said, c
units you I'll quarter ball for Nothin and I'll be blamed at the
Boston. Fool didn't load him up and car
to be off and Nothin why. It's worth a dollar if it's
worth a cent concert it off. You fool, you've given away all
my coal. Call what do you do with call

(01:27:16):
burn it to be sure and then Stones.
Wow. Perhaps you do but down in
Greenville we burn. Slabs and Birch, mr.
Hartwell aside, this green hordewill never do for me now.
Just take your hat and go to mr.Prentice in C Street and tell

(01:27:40):
him to send me a ton of coal to Once aside.
When you get back I'll settle with you.
Yes, choir aside. I wonder where C Street is.
It won't do Let The Squire know.I don't know where it is for his
Dreadful riled. Now, I say Pat, where is C

(01:28:03):
Street? How did you know my name is Pat
and guessed it to be sure then since you're so good at
guessing, just guess the way to say street.
Oh are you get out? Well, so I can't find out, I
must hunt it up. So here goes exit left well
young man I suppose I shall haveto try you.

(01:28:27):
Bahama so sir, I don't think youcould do better.
Can you cook? Can I cook?
Is it Faith? Give me something to cook.
And if I don't what handsome man, named is not today.
Ryan. Well then Teddy Ryan.
I'll give you a dollar fifty a week and you're bored. $1.50.
Terry Ryan give been knocked about to fall on your fate at

(01:28:49):
last faith. I should be going to Ireland in
a few weeks, a millionaire. Well, go down into the kitchen
and boil the tea kettle, All thefirst thing Teddy aside.
I wonder what she means by buying the teakettle by your
something, anyhow exit, right? Well, I'll give number to a

(01:29:09):
trial at any rate though. I've not much faith in him, I
began to think a male cook, willnot quite suit Me Knocking.
Ah, another application. Let's see who this is exit left.
Francois outside. Although it is a pleasure to
speak with Monsieur art. Well mr.

(01:29:31):
Hartwell outside. Yes, sir.
Will you walk in? Francois outside.
I thank you very much. You do me one, great honor,
enter mr. Hartwell and Francois left, mr.
Hartwell aside. I wonder who this could be.

(01:29:52):
He is too fine for Cook to Francois to.
What do I owe the honor of this visit?
I miss you, you do me what you call too much proud.
It is, I who has the owner, I come sir to make application for
the Tuition of the cook. You have note in the paper.

(01:30:13):
I am one ground. Cook from La, Belle, France.
France is a country of my home. France.
The proud of my heart France, where I have leaves a little
wife and the five child, who called me by the name of Papa, I
have come to this country to cook the fine dishes, for the

(01:30:35):
find people who will pay me the find money.
Shall I serve you? Miss you?
I have just engaged to cook. Ah, saki is that is what you
call the very much too bad. That is worser than know better.
I have lived my own country to come to this.

(01:30:56):
Great Republic for the employment.
I go to the lodge establishment and I say sir, I wish to employ
you. He say very well, can you cook?
We must you. Very well, can you roast the
chicken? Oui Monsieur?
They're well, can you boil? The Mouton oui Monsieur very

(01:31:20):
well by girl, is a very well, all the time.
All too much. Can you whistle the Dixie Sacre?
I be very astonished. I have cooked the mutant and the
chicken but by God, I never before he Rob's a dish.
What you call the Dixie never. Oh he say you know comprehend, I

(01:31:42):
mean the song, the tune, what you blow with your mouth.
Zachary I see all over in 1 minute.
That he poked, what you call thefun at me, I be very much ending
Young by God the ingenious, you stick out of my face all over
and I say Zachary you be one grand Homme, the bug.

(01:32:07):
I will cook for you. The chicken.
Although Mouton, but saki, I will never blow for you.
The Dixie with my mouth. Never, I shake the dirt of his
infernal house from the roof of my feet and I come to you.
And when I said the eye of my head on you I say hey is one

(01:32:29):
kind gentle, Autumn the Auntie Jean stick right out of him all
over, right? From the end of his nose and I
should cook for him. In the highest title of the ACT
such as I have learned in La Belle France I am sorry but I
have just engaged to cook. Look at that fellow be Teddy.

(01:32:53):
Teddy without combing, your needmakes Jolla blue and to Teddy
right. Where's the hot water?
I ordered hot water. Didn't I tell you to boil the
tea kettle and shirt into that same.
I took the big Feller with a nose that a kettle, and as I
couldn't find in the report, bigenough to hold him, I put in the

(01:33:15):
brighter but by my soul, if it was to biotin next michaelmas, I
don't believe you can make Make it the least Pretender, what
boil and Iron Kettle? I thought you could cook Seth
and so I can if you'd want some fan, big Pirates and the boy
they can do and for your quick as a cat, can jump.
Oh, so clearly he is one stupid Foreigner.

(01:33:41):
This fellow will never do for me.
Look, you teddy, you don't just suit me.
So here's a dollar and I shan't want you.
Any longer now, mr. Frenchman, you can try what you
can do. You will find all you want in
the kitchen. Let me have something for
breakfast in five minutes. Ah, thanks miss.

(01:34:03):
You. I feel like to do your bidding.
I shall give you the breakfast fit for the king of the United
States. Such as I have learned in La,
Belle, France, exit left. Well, this fellow does not suit.
I shall have to get her female cook.
Again, had begin to feel hungry but thanks to Frenchy.

(01:34:28):
I shall soon have some breakfast.
Exit left, Teddy, Solace, Aurora.
Ted in my boy nature, never intended for a cook.
And if nature is ever going to do anything for you, here is the
time perceiving, the bundle of dough nuts on the table, which
he commences devouring. NG hmm.

(01:34:49):
Faith. Here's an intelligent.
No chili. Ha ha ha.
Here is the green. Let's give away old heart was
cool. Bad luck.
Tim and to Joshua left. While I reckon, I found the
right place that time, I found the man that keeps the rocks
seeing Teddy. Well, oh bad.

(01:35:10):
Ain't you're gone yet Dibble step and waiting for a
situation. Oh hello.
I hope you ain't. Run to get mine fish that it and
retired as the man in the paper says to recruit my shattered
energies enter, mr. Hartwell right.
Wow. See here.

(01:35:31):
You just retire for them. I Donuts seizing them, mr.
Hartwell rubbing his hands. Ha ha.
There's a cook worth having sucha breakfast.
I have not 84 Fortnight. What?
A treasure I have got By the way, I wonder where he got that
meat. He's so nicely fricasseed.

(01:35:52):
I was not aware there was a bit in the house.
Hello Francois enter Francois, right?
Did Monsieur corn. Where did you find the meet?
You sent up so nicely cooked? I was not aware there was a bit
in the house saki. Did I not give you the fine
breakfast? But the M.

(01:36:13):
Where did you get the meat? Was it, not an elegant
breakfast? Yes.
But the meet the coffee, tell mequick, where did you get the
meat? I miss you.
I shall tell you you say You must have the meat.
So I go downstairs. I look in the closet.

(01:36:34):
No meat in the pantry. No meat.
I look under the chairs and of the table.
No meat Zachary. I must have the meat.
What do I see the little gray? Pussy?
What you call meow, meow Isis him, I shop of his head and I
have the meat and I give you thebreak.

(01:36:56):
First, what you call Splendid cooked my cat.
Wow. Hi swore.
If that don't turn his stomach, he's a heathen.
Cannibal get out of my house. All of you Mel Cooks mail
Fiddlesticks, I'll have no more of them.

(01:37:18):
I'll have a female cook tomorrow, if she has to have the
house full every night in the week, As for you, come into my
office and I'll settle with you provided.
You say nothing about my advertising in search of a male
cook. Wow.
I won't say anything only keep mum.
About Cole's Nortel, how? I boil the tea kettle?

(01:37:42):
Know how I cook the pussy, what you call meow, meow.
End of wanted a male cook by George Melville.
Baker. End of wanted a male cook by
George Melville. Baker.

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One-Act Play Collections - Book 12, Part 3

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