One-Act Play Collections - Book 14, Part 3 - Free Audiobooks

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(00:00):
In 1999 or problem player, the future by William, Churchill to
meal, this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox
recordings are in the public domain for more information or
to volunteer, please visit librivox.org.

(00:21):
Characters, Jean, a New York woman read by Wendy cats Heller.
Rollo her husband read by ThomasPeter, Florence, their friend
read, by Trisha gee. Stage directions.
Read by Todd. Seen jeans apartment in New York

(00:45):
time early evening, October 1999ad.
Seen a handsomely furnished apartment door to bedroom right
door to Hall. Left sofa up left hat, rack back
left with rollo's cap hanging onit.

(01:05):
Small table right with easy chairs, right?
And left of it, ashtray match safe and sewing basket filled
with the usual fittings on tableother Furniture as desired
hangings, Etc. Discovered at rise Rollo is
discovered seated in an easy chair left of table.

(01:26):
He is a man of about thirty dressed in evening clothes, with
large boson, his patent-leather pumps.
He has been sowing his folding up a small garment, presumably
for a child. Takes another in the process of
making from the basket business of using Emery, putting on
thimble noddings, red soles, quietly, Gene from inside room,

(01:49):
right? Rallo.
Yes, dear. What time is it?
Rollo looking at watch on wrist.Cutter, 28.
Dear pause during which roll Osos quietly on.
Rallo. Yes.
Dear did you sew that button on my coat?

(02:10):
Of course, dear pause Rolo continues to so quietly.
Rallo. Yes, dear.
Where's my cigarette case? Under the bed, dear.
A growl from the bedroom. The baby was playing with it and
I didn't like to ask Patrick to look for is he's so touchy this

(02:33):
week in the house, work has beenheavy.
Gene emerges from the room, right?
She is a small woman of thirty two in evening dress.
Wrap over arm. Jane above table housework heavy
a what the devil do I pay that boy, Patrick for crosses to sofa
throws wrap on it. It's very hard to get anyone for

(02:56):
domestic surface in gene. The boys are prefer the
department stores Gene Crossing above.
Right table, they're getting too.
Damned independent Rollo shockedat damned.
You must have had a hard day downtown.
Dear. Yes.
Business is rotten lighting a cigarette.

(03:18):
I'm getting tired of waiting forthat wave of prosperity, huh?
Last year everyone said wait for1999, the Tariff will reduce the
price of food. Yes.
And the cost of living will go down.
Well, 1999 is almost over and we're still waiting, don't be

(03:38):
discouraged here. I'm sure at times would be
better life than economizing showing.
The Garment he has been sewing. See, I've almost He finished a
little while. Those yes Rollo is getting to be
quite a big boy now, isn't he? Let's see.
How old is he? 11 months?

(03:58):
So he is so he is but I'll be late Crossing to sofa, you're
going out. Yes, some of the girls at the
club. Oh, you promised to take me to
see Bernhardt and I'll feel you did.
I he nods. Well I'm sorry dear but a matter

(04:19):
of business came up and anyhow bernhard's getting old.
Yes but this is her farewell performance.
And now, For Heaven's Sake Rollodon't worry about it.
I say I can't take you and that's all there is to it.

(04:40):
Well, you never spend an eveningat home anymore.
It's been weeks since we've had a cozy chat together.
That's the New York Life. I Can't Help It a woman's got to
see other women. She has to keep in touch with
the world and the club is the place where brolo bitterly Gene
turns away for an annoyed. After first words Club always

(05:03):
the club and what about me? Your husband?
I have no clap to go to. I sit here nice.
Night after night, waiting for you to come home.
If you do come home waiting, trying to pretend I'm not
lonely, but I am I am lovely Jean, lonely and unhappy sinks

(05:32):
crushed, in chair breaks down and hides, face and hands.
Jean under her breath. Hal to Rollo.
Now look here, Rallo, don't be unreasonable.
You've got the child to amuse you, huh?
Seasonable? I suppose it's unreasonable to

(05:54):
want to see something of my wife.
I'm reasonable to ask some return rid of freedom.
I gave up. When I married you, that's
always the way and then gives everything to A woman, nothing.
Jean Crossing thoughtfully to left turned Crossing halfway

(06:14):
back to, right? Looking at Rollo closely.
Rallo, are you sure you have given up everything so
completely what do you mean? Jean Crossing further, right?
Looking fixedly, at Rollo. I mean, Florence.

(06:36):
She's been coming here. A good deal lately.
Rollo tossing his head defiantly.
Well, what a is? Only this, your name and hers
have been connected, too. Often it's been going around the
club that since she made her money, but I won't repeat the
rumors. Rollo trying to conceal, his

(06:59):
agitation, why shouldn't you? Unless you believe them.
Gene down to Rollo looking into his eyes.
No, I don't believe them, but becareful Rollo.
Everyone knows you cared for heronce.
Crossing left. Huh, as schoolboys and see what

(07:23):
if it were true if I still caredfor her why shouldn't I hate
Sumerians right to have a certain amount of attention.
It's for you to be careful. Gene not to drive me by your
neglect, to the point where I must turn Elsewhere for sympathy
turns away and seats himself. That's all Jean Crossing back of

(07:44):
table. Extinguishing cigarette on stand
on table. It's useless.
You're making a scene. Angrily Crossing back of table
to chair. Right of IT.
Stand. We've been all over this before.
Rollo turns pleadingly to Gene, you child hardly knows its

(08:04):
mother Jean and coquettishly. Tell me, have I lost my beauty?
Am I less attractive? Now then when you married me
Jean board stands, right of table?
No, of course not. Why can't you understand that
married? Life can't be one long

(08:25):
honeymoon. I'm no different from other
women leans over. Able to roll 0 padding cheek
your morbid. That's what the trouble is,
Rollo. Bitter sarcasm more bit.
Well, why don't you go? Whatever happens.
Don't be late for the club. Jean irritably Crossing up left

(08:49):
across front to sofa picks up coat, very well opens door
pauses over shoulder. I'll try to be home early.
But don't wait up for me. Turns and exits left rollo's.
It's looking into space, then his eyes fall on the little
garment and he buries his face in it.

(09:10):
The doorbell offstage rings leftRollo excited half whisper
Florence. Chokes back sobs, recoveries
with a defiant toss of head Rises goes to mirror back
center. Florence knocks on door left.
Rollo hurriedly removes traces of his grief or ranges tie,

(09:33):
Smooth hair, Florence knocks again, come in Florence opens,
door stands revealed. Florence is a handsome woman of
about 30 where he evening dress Rollo up Center starts at sight
of her. Florence.
Lawrence coming in and rushing toward him from door Rollo.

(09:55):
Rollo starts away from her shrinks back towards chair left
of table. What's the matter?
you shouldn't have come Lawrencestanding in suspense at left,
why not Brolo in frightened gasp, she's become too suspect.
Who your wife? Rollo nods.

(10:20):
Yes, things in chair left of table.
Florence starts annoyed, rather than just made then resolutely.
Well, it had to come sooner or later you're not happy Rollo.
Rolo voice choked with emotion. Oh yes. yes, I'm quite quite

(10:50):
happy breaks down in sobs. Oh, hi know you say you are but
I can see she neglects you Rollolooks at her and dumb ascent and
I've come tonight to tell you that things can't go on like
this. Rolo faintly like this, yes, it

(11:13):
was all a mistake you should have married me, but of course I
was poor Rollo turns to protest but oh I'm not blaming you a
man. Must marry a woman who can make
him comfortable and if Jean had treated you.
Well, I'd have taken my medicinelike a woman but she hasn't.

(11:36):
And in spite of all our Care. Rumor has begun to connect our
names. Rollo broken and sobbing face in
hands. This?
What you mustn't? Come here anymore.
Lawrence Crossing to be side. Robos chair left of table.
And what will you do with your life Rollo bowels head on table?

(11:58):
Lawrence Krauss has to behind his chair know.
If Rumour has begun to work thenthe time has come to justify it.
Standing behind chair, what's arms around?
Roll our shoulders from back, you know, I love you.
Dear draws Rolo into her arms, there's never been any other man

(12:18):
in my life. Why should we both lose life's
happiness because of a foolish mistake?
Rolo brokenly turning to Florence, don't Don't tempt me
Florence after myself tonight, have unstrung.

(12:38):
I I can't fight you breaks away from Embrace.
I ought to order you to leave myhouse.
After what you said, Lawrence standing back, a role of his
chair but you won't roll. Oh, you won't.
And the reason is drawls Rolo back into her arms that, you

(12:59):
know. You know, I'm right.
No, no you're wrong. Breaking away from Embrace, she
was so strong. I'm only a man, bowed his head
in hands miserably Lawrence sitson arm of Rolos chair.
That's not it. Dear, you love me.

(13:21):
Rollo attempts denial. Yes you do and you're wasting
your life, trying to deny that love, but it won't be denied.
Its nature calling upon us to The wrong that has been done
her. Come rise, it's intakes roll.
Those hand helps him to feed leads him to left.

(13:41):
Come, let me take you away. We'll go to Italy until the fuss
has blown over Rollo breaks awayfrom her, over to chair, right
of table Florence is left standing thwarted near door
left. No, No go please.
Please go sinks and chair right of table.

(14:06):
Florence stairs, fixedly at Rolodramatically, crosses back of
table to Rollo seated in chair. Right of table.
Seats. Herself on arm of chair.
When I go, you'll come with me. Rollo turns from her lady's head
in hands on table. You've never seen Venice.
Have you dear? Rollo rapturously and it's yes

(14:30):
we'll see it together cheek to cheek and now they're in our
Gondola with the lights and music around us and the wavelet
slapping underneath will dream away these last dead years until
there's nothing left but the present ourselves and love Rollo

(14:52):
closing his eyes in ecstasy, it would be beautiful, but leans
away from Florence's arms. And you've never known love.
How could you when I had the keyto your heart, but will unlock
loves treasure chest and read life's.
Meaning in each others arms Rollo, raising clasped hands

(15:17):
pleadingly and you love me and protect me.
Lien's had trusting the against Florence.
Lawrence tenderly sweetly caressing rollo's hair always
always. Half Rising, I'll Shield you
with my life. Rises.
Hold rollo's hand. Come dear, come lead role or

(15:43):
left in passing table rollo's hand touches little garment, he
stops. Stung to realization, agonized
at parting shows, Carmen to her.She turns away he sinks into
chair left of table, to which hestaggers Barry's head in hand in
little garment, which he still retains Florence crosses to him

(16:07):
takes garment gently away from under face.
Rolo gasp SOB as she draws it out.
Florence crosses back of table and drops it on it.
Back to rolling chair, come dearcome helps him to rise, they
take a few steps, pause stand atarms length.

(16:29):
Then as if hypnotized slowly fall into each, others arms, as
they stand, thus clasp, Gene throws open the door left on the
threshold. Horrified Rollo Cesar, first
breaks away from Florence's arms.
Florence with back to Jean but realizing who it is, Jean Jean

(16:49):
about a strike then, controllingherself in a tense unnatural,
calm voice, well Lawrence controlling herself holding
world. Owes hand protectingly as Rollo
crouches in fear beside chair left.
There's nothing to be said, you see how it is, Jean grimly.

(17:10):
Yes, I see quietly. I trusted you Florence.
Lawrence drops her eyes and I trusted him.
Forgive my saying so Gene, but aman needs more than trust.
You could have prevented this but now it's too late.
Yes, it's too late starting towards her.

(17:33):
Damn you Rollo throwing himself between Gene Jean throws him to
the floor. Don't touch me.
Take step as if to strike him ashe lies there.
Controlling herself. Standing over him.
How long have you been her her master Rollo with a moan Robles

(17:56):
on the floor. Lawrence Crossing to Gene, and
stepping over. Rollo don't blame him.
Gene. I swear, I never touched his
lips till tonight. Jean stares at her doubtfully.
Oh, I tried, but your neglect has finally done.
What my love alone would have failed to do through.

(18:17):
Rollo on floor, half kneeling come Rollo Jean throws Florence
away from Rollo gets between herand Rollo.
Yes, go with her. That shall be your punishment.
Go with her. I won't prevent you soon.
Your beauty will fade, and she'll Tire of you.

(18:37):
And then you'll begin to sink and then the life of Shame.
And then the river. Pointing to floor.
Now, go. Crossing front to write a table
Florence crosses, ducote get cigarette case.

(18:59):
From it sees herself on arm of sofa contemptuously.
Listening cigarette, in hand Rollo bitterly half crawling
across floor to chair left of table, how easy it is to be just
with your woman's Justice. You say, I've broken my marriage
fell. Well, What have your own do you

(19:23):
promise to love and protect me and you haven't done it.
It's the old story. One law for the woman, another
for that man. I know what you'll say, custom
always custom one member of the household must be pure and

(19:47):
spotless. Yes.
But why must it be the man? Tell me that.
Why must it be the man Gene turns to Rollo Stern.
Contempt. Civilization to crease it and
custom demands it. The laws of society were not

(20:09):
made by you, or me. They are stronger than we are
lifting two fingers on high because they are founded on
wisdom and logic Rolo in broken passionate appeal.
Yes, but it's pretty hard on a man who makes one false step to

(20:32):
be damned. Forever cast out as a thing
unclean like you, women can go your own way committing sin
after sin and no one thinks the worst few genes coughing and
bitter The usual paltry excuses,The Cry Of The Libertine

(20:57):
forever, seeking to justify his crime.
I've told you I'm through with you now.
Go. Rolo Rises, pleading good to
Jean who stares and points to door unforgiving.
Brolo. Staggers blindly sobbing.
Over to hat rack, takes cap. Suddenly remembers.
The child looks to bedroom door,right?

(21:19):
Goes frantically. Across stage 2 Gene standing
hard at table but a child's you let me see.
Jean extending arm borrowing hisway.
You are not fit. Go Rolo starts back as if
struck, then sobbing goes to Florence waiting for him.

(21:42):
With extended hand, she leads him out, he goes off ahead of
her, she pauses it door. Turns head to Gene gives a
contemptuous laugh over shoulderexits, Gene stands in front of
table, staring at vacancy. What's hand back of her to
table, touches little garment starts clutches it staring at it

(22:05):
in terrified misery. Oh, child my poor little
fatherless boy. What could I tell him when he
asks, where his father is for now?
I shall never never be sure thatRolla was his father Stan,

(22:27):
sobbing face buried in little garment curtain.
And of in 1999 a problem play atthe future by William.
Churchill DeMille. Retain for the defense by John
oxenfurt. This is a LibriVox recording all

(22:49):
LibriVox. Recordings are in the public
domain for more information or to volunteer, please visit
librivox.org. Missed a month later.
Windsor. Read by Adrian Stevens, mr.
Whitewash read by caveat. Mr. Ferguson read by our
mapstone the way it's read by Larry Wilson.

(23:13):
Porkins read by algy pug. Agatha dewinter, read by LSD,
narrator read by David Lawrence seen a drawing room fitted up
for an evening party to the left, a card table, doors Center
and left. Thwaites, who has finished

(23:34):
lighting candles in chandelier at back Center steps back to
survey the effect? Now that's what I call.
The real thing, the clean credit.
The position of that bouquet is such that none but the pure
States could conceive. Those Camellias Chastity itself,
a fine combination, cutting the turnips and carrots to make

(23:58):
ornaments for the cold tongue. Choosing the wookies.
It Covent Garden Market mildly tempering, the brilliant light
of wax and gas with the soothingHue of flowers, I have brought
all my Arts to Bear upon this worried the party, who is a
green Grocer in the morning is the only perfect wager in the

(24:18):
evening. Enter Agatha Center.
So Thwaites, the room appears quite ready.
Yes, Miss Agatha without exaggeration.
I may venture to say we are all lit up.
My father has not returned Nobis.
I could throw he has not since he left the house at 2:00 in the

(24:40):
afternoon. I haven't the slightest notion
where he is gone. Indeed laughing sits left
Center. No, no, I did my best to
ascertain. Are you going far Service?
As I he stares and he makes me no answer.

(25:02):
Shall you? Be long?
Sir, says, I he stares again. And again, he makes no answer.
Because sir says, I there's the party this evening, I know that
better than you do. Says, he for, I shall have to
pay for it. Just like him as saying.

(25:24):
Other Agatha aside vexed really pod must have a regular footman.
These trade people whom he engages his occasional, waiters
don't understand subordination of it.
I hope you admire those bookies Miss Agatha them.
Camellias are quite the thing. I flatter myself, all my taste

(25:50):
you'd be called tomorrow. The lady of the Camellias most
defensive Rises and turns aside.No, I thought I had said
something very pretty but she don't look pleased.
No one has arrived, of course. Oh, on the contrary Miss Agatha.

(26:10):
I'm sorry to differ from you, but I rather think one has
arrived and is caffeine in the back parlor.
Here he is to enter whitewash Center, mr.
White wash, as I'm alive. No occasion to announce you sir.
Oh, my dear mr. Wynn's, excuse me, if I stopped

(26:30):
a minute to refresh myself with a deer, Masti of your choice
mocha instead of flying upstairs.
But you see a causing which I was retained.
Came on late and I was obliged to exert myself a good deal.
I've normally if I may use the Expression in short, I was
regularly Knocked Up, don't think of apologies as it is.
You are the first in the room. So you have had another brief

(26:52):
today. I hope you have been Victorious.
One of my most brilliant triumphs.
I actually Sean myself. So wait listens a rascal.
Had stolen a watch from a gentleman's pocket and hid it in
his umbrella watching an umbrella come that's not bad.

(27:14):
Huh? Looks half offended then
continues without noticing tweets.
There is not the slightest doubtthat scoundrel was guilty
indeed. He had such a face that
innocence would have been a positive fraud upon nature but
ha ha ha. I got him off.
I got him off a weeping jury declared.
He was not guilty Capital which it is capital.

(27:36):
Just like you sir. Wait, draws Agatha aside.
I say this person rather familiar.
Yes, I know I'm quite annoyed. He's our greengrocer ha jokes
with him in the morning when he buys the vegetables, and now
he's come to wait in the evening.
You don't understand his position at all.

(27:57):
I think I'll take the liberty ofdropping a hint.
I say mr. Weights at your service sir
cards in common, our business, but my address is of your
address. Mr. Thwaites.
I have not the slightest doubt, but I would speak a word with
you and I'll listen if you talk for an hour, if I take up the

(28:18):
newspaper, is it to read about politics know about plays?
No, I should. I think not.
About pictures. Bother know I look to see if mr.
White wash has been saying something for some poor devil in
the central Criminal Court. That's my intellectual treat

(28:42):
quite flattered. Indeed.
Ha ha really, my dear mr. Windsor, we should do wrong to
check this diffusion of intelligence amongst the masses.
Enter do Windsor Center here. He is.
Is he the day? Boy, I must Shake him by the
hand. Rushes forward and grasps the
weights by the hand. Huh?

(29:03):
Huh? You're not whitewash ridiculous.
I'm always making myself, ridiculous.
I have too much heart. You feel what I mean?
Whitewash shakes, his hand violently.
You feel what I mean? Most acutely.
Ringing his hand. I'm so glad you are here before
the others. Leave the room throats.

(29:26):
Sweet flingers moving at back toCenter.
I could notice burden my heart. As I said, I'm all heart the
Wade's advances Center, leave. The rooms White's sweets, goes
up and moves chair from right tocenter.
This moment is the most important soon's fights.

(29:48):
Will you leave the room suites aside going up Center?
That's the man of money. Give me is the man of mind.
Exit. Center-left Windsor coming to
center. Now look, I hesitate no longer
shilly-shally. No longer.

(30:10):
I follow the dictates of my heart and my heart tells me to
come here. Whitewash, come here Aggie,
joins their hands. Consider yourself as my
son-in-law really. This is very sudden par Of
course, it is. I'm always sudden I'm a creature
of impulse, but do you dislike the arrangement?

(30:32):
I did not say that part didn't say that part.
Then why don't you speak out where your mind in your face?
As I do or as my young friend here with whom I want to speak a
few words in private so go and see how they are getting on with
the coffee. Right?
And don't forget that you are engaged to me for the first set

(30:54):
and the polka and the Lancers. Of course, she won't forget.
Run along, child exit, Agatha Center.
Now, I can give vent to my feelings.
Like, wash you've done it. I was long making up my mind,
but now you've done it. You are one of the men.

(31:14):
I like shakes, his hand violently.
They sit my dear sir, I am most happy ringing, his hand of
course you are look you. It's only now that I like you
this very morning I weighed yourmerits with those of Tom Tango
of the stock exchange. JH who, you know, has a sneaking

(31:35):
kindness for my girl and the balance was considerably in Toms
favor. He's a better looking fellow
than you and his conversation ismore agreeable.
Then puts a lawyer said I a creature or brains and no heart,
no heart sir. But now I'm Changed My Views are
more enlarged, more expansive I have been dining out.

(31:58):
No, I have been in the central Criminal Court during the cause
Queen the Porkins. I see you heard my speech of the
defense. It was not bad.
Was it? It was Noble.
It was glorious. While I looked upon that poor
man in the dock and I heard you enunciate is virtues and

(32:19):
expatiate on largeness of his small family.
He assumed in my eyes, the sanctity of a martyr.
You didn't say. So perhaps you noticed that
among the persons in Turkey Court one, wept aloud.
Very allowed. I did the policeman turned him
out. I believe True.

(32:42):
Some brutal occurrence did take place.
I was the man that wept sir. You are the man that made me
weep you touched my heart sir you touched my heart as I really
am most sensible gentlemen lingering at the door.
I learned that the prisoner was acquitted.
So I walked home and I said to myself whitewash is my destined

(33:06):
son-in-law, I as a manufacturer of fancy soap.
Remove physical impurities from the skin, white wash your faces.
The blots that calumny has cast upon innocence innocence of
course, no one knows better thanyou that the poor persecuted
being was innocence itself. Wait Cooley.

(33:29):
Oh yes. Yes.
What to light you must have feltin restoring him to his weeping
wife and there's five. Small children wife Children.
Oh, I believe I did use the expression, but there's a
further pleasure in store for you.
You know, I always follow the dictates of my heart.

(33:51):
Well, well, my heart told me that Society owed that poor
persecuted being reparation and was bound to declare that he had
not forfeited, his social position in a word sir.
I've invited him to my ball thisevening.
Wait Rises here to your house. A fellow with the taint of the

(34:12):
dock fresh upon him. At ain't 30, did not Merit a
taint that you so nobly removed Rises aside.
Oh this is an old fool. Enter Agatha Center and down
left. Oh papa.
They are nearly all assembled inthe other room.
Come along. Then come along the time.

(34:34):
I introduce you as my son-in-lawcome defender of persecuted
innocence. Wait to Agatha mine.
The first set the Lancers, the come along taking his arm exit
to Windsor and whitewash Center off left.
After looking around, very foolish of my aunt knots to

(34:57):
fasten her bracelet better, it can't be here.
I don't believe she has been in this room tatata goes up right,
enter Thwaites left mr. Puffkins enter Parkins left, he
boughs on all sides as if the room were full of company, exit
Thwaites. Whoa, embellished do this over

(35:19):
here. He's very inconsistent bearing.
This new strings of nobody Parkins suddenly seats Agatha,
right? Oh, or big, pardon Miss.
Perhaps, you may think it's locked my impedance but he's a
governor in the, the governor. Yes, the governor here.

(35:41):
Not more governor. No.
Bless you. Even under etches long ago, I
want mister I've got you later somewhere, mr.
He something in the fancy soap Lon, oh, my papa mr.
De Windsor, he means it. So here's your papaya easy.
We all in. I say you do him credit for say,

(36:05):
a for your face? No.
Wouldn't mind saying it behind your back.
Aside a singularly vulgar personbut pot does pick up.
Such strange friends in the citybefore we go.
Any further I should lock this shit or one point.
I picked up this year. Jim crack fing on the staircase.
Producing bracelet from his coatpocket Agatha rate, catches it

(36:29):
from his hand. I asked bracelet, my dear sir, a
thousand, a thousand. Thanks exit Agatha Center, a
fails and fails and fangs. My dear sir to uncommon pretty
Behavior, young person, a child would take a deal in whipping.
A for, he gets up to that point of good manners as Schilling,

(36:52):
sleep t1j and would have The finishing touch to the
compliment, but one can't have it all one's own.
Why the new pretty smile were worth more?
Nor a shilling a precious sight,lesser odd.
She had no fast enough that the man who picks up bracelets and
gives him to the right. Owner is exactly the sort of

(37:14):
article as prigs watches re-entered, the Windsor Center
and down left. Really a Charming scene, most
exhilarating sees Parkins right?Hey why?
He's here at last poke ends the persecuted shakes.

(37:35):
His hand violently my dear sir. I'm delighted to see you.
Parkins wringing his hands, thank you, but draw really or
mild mr. Perkins.
You are one of the men I like soI'm to you sir.
You are mr. Duck defense e, soap launcher,

(37:57):
don't Windsor will win 22 minutes ago.
I told the young woman she was acredit to you and now I don't
mind telling you you're a creditto the young woman aside
somewhat coarse but Frank and genial you sent me a short a
note sir as the saying is askingme to come here but it strikes

(38:21):
me the some mistake. Not in the least, mr.
Perkins, not in the least. Take a seat.
Parkins sits rate after pulling down a number on rate, that's
your Road in it. All events are brought the tongs
in my pocket, the tongues rathera singular proceeding and the

(38:41):
shovel. No idiot with you or mean, the
curling irons. I begin to comprehend.
Mr. Balkans, you are a hairdresser.
No, that's where you put your foot in it.
Why are regular hairdresser for a Nabi concern or Yeast or cuts
a little in the common way. But I am chiefly in the easy

(39:05):
shaving Lon. I understand you keep a hair
cutting Saloon frequented by gentlemen only Why?
Cause you a shop? Sure.
But if you caused it Sloan it's where he coined on you and I'm
much obliged. And if you cause my customers
gentlemen, they ought to be weary much obliged to you too.

(39:27):
Huh? I wish you had been a little
higher in the social scale, but no matter, his robins have been
extraordinary Society owes him, an extraordinary reparation, mr.
Perkins, I trust mrs. Perkins and the children are
quite well. Mrs. Perkins, and the children
hahaha Sims as well as can be expected.

(39:50):
I see a recent increase in the family Recent Gammon why?
The right now? Mrs. Porkins, the right even a
youngin bless me. I'm sure.
Whitewash talked about small children.
Wait, why she runs in center from wifed Mr. De winter, sir.

(40:10):
It got the Rascals in full conflab, sir.
Pushes himself between Parkins and Windsor Center warm list
Heaney. Right.
My professional gentleman sir, mr.
White washes, your true friend. No mistake about that.
No, mr. White wash.

(40:32):
I'm a poor man, but if there's any way of showing my gratitude,
that's an extremely cheap, way to make some excuse and take
yourself off as fast as your legs can carry you.
He's indeed, Friend crosses to Center looky.
Mr. De what's your name? They are stood reading the bill

(40:53):
at the Royal Victoria fear. Something bad will watch the
bone Smuggler when as it was done on purpose.
Someone smuggles are watching the my umbrella.
Yes, yes. We all know about that.
The story is exceedingly plausible and I have told it
already much better than you canin the presence of this
gentleman. So loathe me about they takes

(41:14):
me. Off against my will.
Well then now indulging, the free exercise of your will by
taking yourself off. Some of the company passed
across that back of Center doorsfrom left to right?
Stop a beer. So I'm mostly sticks to the easy
shaving line. Ivan mind.

(41:34):
It's can sort of the higher branches that he had of ear is
uncommon. Well, go up the one with the
pearls or mean, just allow me tohave a look, Governor, I'll be
back in a twinkling. Exit Center exuberant,
unsophisticated creature. Oh, perfectly unsophisticated.

(41:56):
I only wish he had not fixed on.The only headdress in the room
that gives a notion of positive value.
No, no, I must not hesitate any longer look here.
My dear sir. You are a man of heart.
I may say a noble creature and it's one of the specific
weaknesses of noble creatures tofancy everyone else as Noble as
themselves now. Suppose this favorite of yours.
This poor kid. And we're really a little like

(42:18):
two-fingered, suppose the dazzling, brilliancy of one of
your tablespoons caused him to forget the distinction between
medium and two of them under these painful circumstances.
What would you say? I should say that you were the
most lying humbug. I ever clapped my eyes on.
Hey Dave, why why didn't you stand up before the judge and

(42:41):
jury and Below out your belief in that man's Immaculate virtue?
Did you Clap your hand on your heart and declare that our
country might be proud of such acitizen.
And since Giles in the fields proud of such a parishioner.
Did you not cause me to blubber allowed to lie?
Was turned ignominiously out of court.

(43:03):
As a charity boy, is kicked out by a beetle.
And am I to understand that all that rhodomont hard followed by
that expulsion was for the sake of a pickpocket abominable,
disgusting. Surely, you understand my dear
sir? Sir, that's when one speaks
professionally. Sir, no one has business to tell
lies professionally or not. A man should always speak what

(43:25):
he thinks I follow the dictates my heart and I always speak what
I think my heart is in my heart and my heart is in my mouth.
What a complicated piece of anatomy.
You must be. I say my heart is in my mouth
that I wish you would swallow itand say no more about it.
Yes, I daresay. You think that is a very good

(43:48):
joke. What?
I'm going to tell you is no joke, if Balkans is a thief, you
shan't have my daughter and Tango shall monstrous not at
all. I give you my girl because I
regard you as a noble defender of persecuted innocence but if
persecuted Innocents, turns out to be low, pilfering scoundrel,

(44:09):
I naturally retract, but my dearsir, the doctor use, those
stranger maintain his die. Triply opposed to the very
principles of British jurisprudence is one of the
high, privileges of our blessed country, and of several others,
that even the vilest and meanestcriminal is allowed to
professional defender in the courts of Justice.
Sir. It is one of the high,

(44:30):
privileges of our blessed country, and of several others
that are man. Need not give away his daughter
where he don't like, but sir by virtue of my profession, I am
possibly bound to well. I don't say you're not.
But an honest man's should have nothing to do with clients.
That don't come into court with Clean Hands.

(44:52):
My dear mr. The Windsor borrow a little
wisdom from your own business. If everybody had Clean Hands.
What would become of the soaked?Trade?
Go, go and defend every pickpocket forger coin.
A housebreaker in London. I don't want to hinder you.
I only say that I won't give my daughter to a man who makes
respectable people blubber to. They are shoved out of court.

(45:15):
On purpose to defeat the ends ofJustice.
Then sir, I suppose because he furthers the ends of Justice,
you could give your daughters ofthe hangman.
Share not condescend to answer an argument.
So obviously sophistical. I only repeat what I said
before. If Porkins is a thief, you

(45:36):
shan't have my daughter. Aside reason is wasted on this
old Blockhead. I must try another tack.
Ah, you have just passed nobody through the ordeal just to sound
you. I hinted at the remote
possibility of Parkinson's guilt, but he is in point of
fact, as we both know, innocent as the Babe unborn did not the

(45:56):
jury. Say so however Tatar for the
present sir aside I must look out egad I was only retained as
The Rascals Council but I find, I am his bail.
Exit Center. I'm sure he spoke a five small
children, no decidedly, This legal morality won't suit me.

(46:17):
No, no, no Barrister for me decidedly a stock Jabba and your
tweets center from right. Please sir, the parties, which
isn't the toddler room can't geton without you.
I'm coming Bull and bears have the day exit Center and off

(46:38):
right fault. By Thwaites.
Re-enter whitewash dragging Parkins by the caller from left
Center. Come there.
Why say Joey mild? You spoil my bisco.
I only took it here a purpose tocome here, Porkins, we are
alone. Poor kids as your professional
advisor. You are bound to tell me

(46:59):
everything. Porkins when you came here, what
was your intention? Why I come D in the open, doing
something in the way of businessbusiness, indeed?
Why there are all the streets inLondon?
Open to your Ingenuity and you must pick out the residents of
my father-in-law, Take stage 2, right Parkins, following him up.

(47:19):
Will why didn't know he's your father-in-law?
And if it is, what's a hordes? You see mr.
Summit in the shanty soap Lon since me a hint white.
And so I comes with the tongs inmy pocket.
Well, it turns out you don't want the tongs but he's taking
it along to me. There aren't no fault of mine,

(47:41):
is it? I never tries to be extra
agreeable. Returns to center of stage,
perhaps a miserable wretch has commenced already.
What have you been doing with yourself, why?
I've been are looking at them, super gimcracks on the
sideboard. And I says to myself my eyes if
one of them five thingamabobs isdon't seem no use here belongs

(48:05):
to me and happy train of thought, allow me for a moment.
Puts his hand, in the tail pocket of Parkins coat.
What are you a bear? Professional professional will.
I always hear you lawyers at ideas for putting your hands in
people's pockets? Pulls out tongues.
What's this? A spoon?

(48:26):
You're a spoon yourself. It's a tongs for a wonder.
He speaks the truth. Now Mark, I'm your professional
advisor and I advise you to be off as soon as you can.
Well, I don't mind. I've seen all there is to be
seen. It aren't half so good as
skills. Between you and I the governor

(48:47):
is seemed to have laid out a pressure.
So I money for worry, little fund, enter to Windsor rate,
Center and down, left. Go, cut short, your moral
Reflections and go pushing Parkins towards Center.
Why mr. Perkins.
What's the cause of this singular?

(49:07):
Hurry Parkins returns to Center.Well, I don't know.
You see, I felt always somehow in the way, like, nobody says
nothing to me, and I say nothingto nobody besides an affair of
the most pressing importance. Very pressing, indeed.

(49:28):
I'm back, you'll stop supper my dear mr.
Perkins. Oh, will if there's anything in
the way, our wheels are coming. That is a view of the case.
The supper will be served in silver plate in silver.
In silver. What real silver look that if

(49:49):
they don't bother yourself, Governor, I'll stop.
Ha ha ha. I've tickled my trout.
The old gent is play against me.That's certain reenter sweets
center with the tray of Isis. So White's tweets coming down
left Center at your service sir tweets hands.

(50:13):
Tree to Parkins who first takes a nice, then a spoon and eats
during the following scene to Windsor drawing tweets aside
left. You observe that person?
Yes sir. I don't think him much cup.
Sir. If that man steals anything you

(50:34):
shall have a couple of sovereigns.
No spread out the plate as much as you can give him every
opportunity. white right back instates to him at back here
waiter Sweets. Going to whitewash at back right

(50:54):
center. Yes, sir.
If that fellow, would the ice leaves the house without
stealing anything? There's a five-pound note for
you to sweets, do Windsor walks around and round Parkins with
handkerchief dangling from his pocket during dialogue of the
deuce and do your best to keep the plate as much out of his
reach as possible. Can't be done, sir.

(51:18):
Can't be done Governor orders. The Very well.
I got my email here. Pork is my good fellow.
How do you like your ice first? Right based opinions.
All deceivers ha ha but now you are finished.
It you have no occasion for the spoon takes it tweets.

(51:38):
On the other side, takes Empty Glass from Parkins and exits
Center or can't Mike email. I'll stick to him like a leech.
And your Agatha center from leftand down.
Right, mr. Whitewash, have you forgotten
your engagement? The first quad row of 55.
They are waiting. I'm sure I beg a thousand

(51:59):
pardons, but you see just at themoment Pockets, the spoon.
I can't make any on them out. Wait, Whispers to Parkins.
If so much as a salt spoon is missing.
You are a dead man. Excellent whitewash and Agatha
Center. Also Governor about a young

(52:20):
friend E when he's on the spreedlong as he is now.
Don't you think he's a bit cranky?
Do you think all's right here, touching his head?
You rather. I blocked it to my young woman.
Wouldn't there be around neither?
Huh, the car table a trap? I didn't think of, I certainly

(52:41):
mr. Porkins, have you any objection
to a hand at cards? No, I'd be only Of course, you
will play a Cartier. Of course, I don't, I never hear
Dorney well cribbage or knows nothing of Cribbage pique pique,
pique guy, my knows nothing about pick up.

(53:04):
I always worry. Noah, being sent to pick oakum.
Well, what shall we play? Suppose we cut for a shilling a
game, a shilling come always feet you in for any bit.
And there's nothing like plaque.I say I hope she keeps your
temper when you losses for I give you fair warning.

(53:25):
I shan't let you go till I got something out of you affected
Candor but it won't do. They go up to table left, do nth
root X cards out of drawers of table, and they set do Windsor
laughed and Parkins, right? And they begin cutting the cards
staking money as they play. Well, if you are going it, you

(53:49):
are place again. Aside Governor can't becoming
the old Soldier. Oh, it's a do a no mistake.
I must have an eye on this old bird enter whitewash Center from
left. Thank heaven.
I'm free again. What cards?
The devil steals up to table andWhispers to Parkins lose-lose.

(54:15):
I say it. Oh yeah.
Do Windsor sees whitewash aside.Oh, I see the Rascals had his
cue. They are sharp lie anymore.
You want your free Bob. And if you ever catch me again,
you will do you good writers andgoes forward aside to whitewash.

(54:40):
One good, turn deserves another.I'll give you an in tea.
Don't let the old Governor there.
Get you down to cards. These are Danny and he's Let me
see Rings money on table. No, nothing wrong.
I have not caught him yet. And your Thwaites centered from
left. Announcing mr.

(55:02):
Ferguson. Andrew Ferguson center from left
to Windsor, goes up to Center door, to meet him.
He's a jazz knows more about me than our won't goes across to
write for umbrella. Ah, the owner of some straight
pocket-handkerchief. Make a rush at the door.

(55:22):
Parkins crosses to left downstage bolted by Jingo this
last stroke will finish me. Doing Zoo coming down, right
center. Allow me my dear mr.
Ferguson to introduce you to my intended.
Son-in-law. Fergus down.
Right sir. Allow me to congratulate you on

(55:46):
your very interesting position, mr.
Whitewash sir is one of the brightest ornaments of the legal
profession. And this gentleman is one of his
most ornamental clients, very much delighted, bowing to
Parkins Heyday. He is certainly a party who has

(56:09):
taken Taken me by surprise. What do you mean?
I mean that a certain party, a friend of mine found that party
pointing to Parkins in his cupboard at 3:00 in the morning.

(56:31):
All right, you are quite sure ifyour man.
Oh, perfectly aside. Seeing that the friend was
myself, goes up a little. The Windsor rubs his hands
capital capital Tango wins the day.

(56:52):
Wait, seated left-center. Father-in-law looks pleased.
That's unlucky Rises. Come here.
My orator come here. My Cicero I have a bit of news
for you Tango. Will have my daughter.
Ha ha ha. Pokes whitewash in the ribs?

(57:12):
What sir. You are man of heart.
Who have given your word to me? Yes.
If Balkans turned out. All right.
But he don't he don't, he don't ha ha, ha, mr.
Windsor allow me to remark that an innocent man's character is
not to be impugned with That sufficient ground come here,
Porkins, Whispers to him Brazen it out.

(57:36):
Porkins are malignant gland, ra says you are a fishy but you ate
are you know is I am aware on then most respectable mr.
Perkins, what were you doing in a certain cupboard?
At 3:00 in the morning the case is desperate and a desperate
effort must be made. Agatha and several guests enter

(57:58):
from left-center and form an audience, right?
Listen, all parties present, well, took away and make the
best of it. Look at the face of this worthy
man. Porkins.
Get into the dock. Places him on chair left and
turns another chair round to lean on Etc.

(58:19):
Examine every liniment on chair left.
Come, come you. You do make one look such a
fool. Believe me this excellent man is
one of those rare Nature's that are seldom to be found at the
independent electors of merrily bone, whom they would place in
the van, although, they didn't know when whom they would place

(58:40):
in the van of the staunchest champion of their interest.
They will answer Porkins, ask the poor weight takes tongs from
his own pocket them's my tolls. Wait, throws them on table, ask
the poor, the suffering, poor whom they regarded as their
kindness to benefit. They will answer Porkins side to

(59:01):
him cry. Why can't I sigh are you?
Pitching it? Rather too strong.
They say, we were found in a Cupboard at 3:00 in the morning.
Well, we admit, the trivial factwe were in the cupboard.
No, no, no, no. We have every High virtue, we
are still, but human, we have hearts not altogether

(59:22):
unsusceptible to female. Beauty Ferguson comes forward,
right, in great. Vegetation.
Do you now persist in asking whywe were in the cupboard?
Well then we were there for the sake of one of the fair sex but
sir there is a husband. Now we've done it a husband, you

(59:43):
call that a husband as to Mr. Justice blessed.
Well remarked in the great divorce, case of Marta versus
bang wife. Such a wretch is not worthy of
the name of a husband. A man who indulges his large
potations comes home with littlehours and is limited in his
nose. Oceans of crinoline bangs chair
during speech. Then turns.
And since you smash, that is Cheer, but sir, I'm a husband,

(01:00:11):
white Rises and goes to Parkins.That's awkward.
Yes, he is awkward. But we won't Flinch, mr.
The Windsor I must say your Society is not the most select.
Pulls chair from under pumpkins,Fergus, Crossing to left and
colouring Balkans and now you villain you destroyer of my

(01:00:35):
domestic. Peace.
What have you to say for yourself?
Whoa, I cannot say nothing. Why are you guys on choking me
out yet Ferguson? Let's go.
That's been woven or didn't own.I fought to be at mrs.
Ferguson mrs. Ferguson didn't come up to, my

(01:00:56):
Heidi has of female Beauty, snaps his fingers that's for
mrs. Ferguson.
If you all to hear from either secrets of my heart, I come on
that Jemima mrs. Ferguson's.
Young woman the near he knows all about it.
I've told the truth and I can shame Ferguson Sweets, comes

(01:01:20):
forward left as so, mr. Perkins, it was mrs.
Ferguson's. Jemima was it?
Are you aware sir that I pay my tensions in that water?
Are you aware that I'm fights? Are you indeed?
Who says you ain't there ain't no advantage in being quite.

(01:01:43):
As I see these, I don't want to beat whites, you're one of them
swells is takes out a young woman on a holiday and grumbles
at the expense all the Blessed way there and all the Blessed
Way Back you prepares the acne boat to the penny and you
prefers walking to hide the white you I'd the favored man.

(01:02:04):
So drop Miss Jemima, I don't sayWhat I'll do if you don't but
just take an end and drop Miss Jemima.
Agatha and to Windsor come forward rate really prepare.
This is an extremely vulgar seenat our party disgustingly so my
dear but join the guests and make the best of it.

(01:02:27):
Agatha retires up, white comes forward Center.
Well father-in-law I hope you are satisfied now, mr.
Perkins I have an apology to make to you.
You'll think it's very absurd but I I scarcely know how to
express it, but I actually took you for a thief uite.

(01:02:50):
The first your. So I shouldn't have been tried
at the whole Bailey. This morning.
Lucky fellow Chuck's are watchedinto my umbrella.
Yes. Yes.
We know all about that. Besides you are completely
cleared perfectly. Your character is as cloudless
as a fine day and July, and I'm about to give you the most

(01:03:10):
convincing proof of my confidence.
He's going to ask me to shave him.
I have long been looking out fora man of indubitable integrity
to act as my cashier. I keep nearly the whole of my
fortune locked up in a strongbox.
So, I may as well give you the key now.

(01:03:31):
About to give key whitewash hated.
Ali comes between them. Wait Center, intercepting?
No, no. What are you about a thief, a
common pickpocket, the katori. You admit it to you.
Retires to guests, right? Caught by all the time.
Lucky come. As I master this, he won't do.

(01:03:54):
When I looked black, you makes me.
Why? When I'm whitened?
You make me black or bojan. Good mind to.
Oh, go to the devil enters sweets center from left with a
letter tweets to whitewash, please, sir add own party as
calls himself. Your clerk has brought to this

(01:04:16):
gives letter to whitewash. Whitewash opens lighter at first
with indifference, but proceeds to read with eagerness to
Windsor Agatha and Ferguson comeforward, right?
My dear. This matter is settled, you
shall be the wife of mr. Tango.
My papaya. How shocking Fergus coming down,

(01:04:38):
right? I baked you a pie.
You don't mean Tom Tango off thestock exchange.
Yes I do. Then you haven't heard the news.
He was declared a default after this very Afternoon, the devil

(01:05:01):
one swindles, another tells lieswhere can I find an honest, man?
Wait Rises having been seated while reading letter here
leading Parkins forward. Look at that face and read that
letter. Gives it the sum and substance
of it. Is this and the Taurus.

(01:05:23):
Pickpockets has just been arrested and retains for me.
The defense confessing that he threw the watch into Porkins has
umbrella, does he? Then there's some good in the
Wagga bone? After all?
Well, as a barrister hoot wattles is better than a stock
Chopper who Waddles. Here's my daughter joins, the

(01:05:45):
hands of whitewash and Agatha. Ah, we re good joins hands and
Gibson paternal blessing. All right and proper what good
comes to me. Only all it strikes.
Me you are a rum lat. You are.
This is here when terrible Party.
The Windsor asked me to his ass.Gives me a horse which doesn't

(01:06:08):
agree with me and does Mia free Bob at cards.
He is another chip Ferguson as talks as if he had gooseberries
in his mouth. Mouth and tries to stop my
windpipe. Then he is a sort of cost among
in Disguise sweets, It's eat if he is with my young woman and
here whitewash is a washed villain or the mall ladies and

(01:06:33):
gents. If I'm in any trouble, touching
your Goodwill himsa Paris, you must pitch into course.
Why don't you see these retainedfor the defense?
That won't do. I haven't had a refresher.
Yeah, but you didn't take your refresher there points to
audience. That's more a refresher.

(01:06:56):
Give me them. Empower he's on my side and hang
me if I want any defense at all.End of retained for the defense
by John Knox. Inferred.
Lady Geraldine speech by Beatrixharridan.

(01:07:18):
This is a LibriVox recording, all LibriVox.
Recordings are in the public domain for more information or
to volunteer. Please visit librivox.org
characters. Dr. Alice Romney a medical woman
read by devorah Alan. Lady Geraldine Berlin.

(01:07:39):
Dr. Alice Romney's school friendred, Goodbye, Kelly Taylor, Miss
Gertrude. So birth weight, an eminent
artist, read by the story, girl,Miss Nora, Bailey a professor of
literature read by TJ Burns. Miss Hilda crowninshield, a

(01:08:00):
famous pianist read by Jen Broda.
Miss Nellie Grant, a typist and shorthand writer read by a
valley. Jane, I made read by Scerbo,
stage directions read by Todd. Seen dr.

(01:08:20):
Alice Romney's drawing-room in Nottingham Place.
It is her fortnightly suffragette home day.
She is seated at her writing desk near the window.
She is a middle stature and has a strong capable face.
Enter made with card a lady asked.
Specially to see you. I said you were engaged until

(01:08:41):
3:00 but she insisted dr. Alice looking at card and
smiling children, Jane, enter hurriedly shown in by made the
lady, Geraldine Bolin, oh my dear.
How good of you to see me? I hope I am not interrupting any
operation, not that I suppose you perform operations in

(01:09:03):
drawing rooms. But I had to see you instantly,
whatever you were doing, I've dashed up a purposely from
eastbound. The fact is ass, I've got myself
into a most awful hole. You will help me out, won't you?
You always have helped me out ofmy difficulties, nothing more

(01:09:26):
than you ought to have done considering how I used to come
to your rescue, over your Frenchcompositions in the dear old.
Hilton College days. My word you are bad at French.
Why aren't you dr. Alice nodding.
Yes. And I'm not much better now.
Languages were always a trial tome.

(01:09:47):
I used to think you were a perfect Wonder over them.
So I was is so I still don't letthere be any mistake about that.
Well, now to business, as I toldyou I've got myself into a most
fearful scrape. The The worst in my life.
Absolutely. The worst Geraldine Geraldine

(01:10:11):
what on Earth. Have you been up to?
Are you never going to learn discretion?
Apparently, never, there's no doubt that I have committed.
A terrible indiscretion, i've compromised myself with.
Well, I hardly like to tell you with the woman's National
anti-suffrage League, dr. Ellis, brightening up Is that

(01:10:35):
all, isn't it enough in all conscience?
I'm at my Wit's End. I haven't slept for nights for
years. Look at how drawn my face is and
if I'm not careful, I shall begin to look clever.
Yes, I've gotten into the toils of the National anti-suffrage

(01:10:57):
League. I've been made into a president
or vice-president or honoraries secretary or support of
something of the sort. Thought and I have to take the
chair at a large meeting at the Imperial Hall next week and make
a speech and use all the anti-suffrage arguments on this

(01:11:17):
wretched sheet of paper. Where is it looking for, in her
muffin Satchel? Ah, here it is.
It's like a nightmare to me every time I try to look at it.
All the letters seem to chase each other off the paper.
And there's only a blank left like my brain.

(01:11:38):
If you won't help me, I Shall Perish.
I know, I shall put my dear Geraldine, I'm a suffragist, a
suffragette, a militant. You've come to the wrong person.
Lady Geraldine coaxingly I've come to my old school Chum, as
if being a suffragist or an antisuffragist, could make any

(01:12:03):
difference to that it Eternal fact.
No, you're right. Well, what do you want me to do?
I want you to write my speech for me and Coach me up in it?
There. Don't look so disagreeable,
you're so handsome when you are Pleasant and so hideous, wear
your cross, our that's better. Now, here are some of the

(01:12:27):
arguments as I told you. I tried to glance at them but
failed. So I haven't really gone into
Details. I haven't really gold into the
matter at all between you and me, but suddenly recollecting
herself, I felt strongly on General lines.
That it was impossible for me totake the responsibility of being

(01:12:52):
in favor of women's suffrage. How well you roll those words
out. Someone has made you learned
that sentence by heart but I felt strongly on General lines
that it Is impossible for me, totake the responsibility of being
in favor of women's suffrage. I must say, I wonder you dare.
Take the still greater responsibility of being against

(01:13:14):
it. Lady Geraldine waving her hand
and dismissal of dr. Alice has remarked come now.
Alice go big game. We're wasting time.
Allow me to conduct you to your desk.
His paper and here's your style.Oh, and here.
Am I waiting on you as usual? Oh, you can make as much fun of

(01:13:37):
me as who, like, and lecture me as much as you like, I was
always good. Tempered, wasn't?
I I don't mind what you say to me as long as you help me with
my speech. Why don't you go and get an anti
suffragist friend to do this foryou?
My dear girl don't be ridiculouswith a few notable and

(01:13:59):
unreachable exceptions. All the anti-suffrage has to
have my sort of brains How can we possibly help each other do
begin? I'm losing my patience with you,
but you have heaps of Splendid, man, amongst you go to them,
certainly not. It's one thing to sing small
about your sex, but quite another thing to think small

(01:14:21):
about yourself, except to a dearold school Chum who used to be a
regular Old Brick, but evidentlyisn't one any longer.
I never dreamed that you would fail me.
What on Earth shall I do I shallmake an awful Fiasco and
disgrace myself and my calls andit will be your fault.

(01:14:45):
You wouldn't wish to see me humiliated would you?
And surely you wouldn't wish my cause to be disgraced.
You've always said causes saved one those have been your very
words Alice cause it's saved one.
It did not matter what they were.

(01:15:06):
Nothing could ever save. You you're spoiled through.
And through here, give me the precious arguments.
Sit down by the fire. And don't chatter for a minute
or two, and I'll see what I can do for you lady.
Geraldine taking up her skirt and dancing around a little.
Uh-huh. I knew she would come round.
These Grim people are always theeasiest to deal with.

(01:15:28):
Be sure. And write clearly idea.
I never could read Read your handwriting.
She dances into a chair and sitsfirmly up, twiddling her
fingers. I'll pause, I think you might
begin in this way. Ladies and gentlemen, I am here
tonight to explain to you. Some of the weighty reasons
which have decided me after much, anxious thought and study

(01:15:51):
to become a determined opponent of women's suffrage.
Excellent. Sounds as if I had studied the
question for Untold centuries, doesn't it?
Then I think you'd better touch it once on the on womanliness of
the whole movement and the danger to the home and you might
enlarge on the Harem theme, The Harem theme.

(01:16:12):
What's that? I don't remember that on the
list. Not that I remember anything.
It is not called that it's called the immense indirect
influence. Now, possessed by women to me,
personally, a most degrading influence after that, you might
beat the Imperial drum. The imperio the door opens.

(01:16:35):
Enter unannounced, Miss Gertrude.
So birth weight. An eminent artist.
She is charmingly dressed and has an engaging personality.
Dizzy. I see.
Dr. Alice, I'm rather early, shall I go away to come back in
half an hour or so no, no sit down by the fire with my friend,

(01:16:56):
an old school friend. I'm throwing together a speech
for her. She's a new hand.
I don't mind you talking, as long as you don't, Talk to me
lady Geraldine and Gertrude so persuade, who have already
greeted settle down together. Dr. Alice has a most enviable
gift of concentration. She can study the most abstruse
subject under any conditions whatsoever.

(01:17:17):
So she is helping you with your first speech.
Well, you couldn't have anyone better to help you.
She's so Splendid at, arranging,the arguments and their most
forceful fashion, shall you? Be nervous.
Lady Geraldine. Unusually.
Yes. Well, we all have to go through
that, but it's worthwhile for the sake of the calls, as Aunt.

(01:17:40):
It lady, Geraldine doubtfully. Yes.
I'm just painting dr. Alice's portrait a difficult
phase. So handsome when she's Pleasant.
And so ugly, when she's disagreeable, that's exactly
what I say. My very words a few minutes ago.

(01:18:04):
Then you are an artist, A Portrait Painter.
May I ask your name, I am so interested in pictures.
So, birth weight, lady, Geraldine and wrap.
Heard good, rude, Sabbath. Wait you don't mean it.
I am proud and delighted to see you.
I have always wanted to meet youbut one never comes across to

(01:18:29):
anywhere. I always heard you were a
recluse Gertrude, so persuade smiling and I'm not by Nature as
a society bird and moreover I haven't much Spare Time.
Non in fact, but the suffrage movement Mint has brought us all
professional women out of our libraries and Studios and all

(01:18:51):
our other hiding places. We had to take our share in it
or else be ashamed of ourselves.I really do think it is a
wonderful movement, don't you and quite apart from anything to
do with the vote itself, it is so Splendid coming in Intimate
contact with a lot of fine womenor following different
professions or businesses. That's one of our advantages

(01:19:15):
over the anti-suffrage. It's isn't it?
They have no means of understanding.
Personally, the inner meaning ofthe whole movement, I'm sorry
for them. Onto you lady.
Geraldine, Ferraro Italy. Yes.
For some of them, do you know? I'm planning to paint a suffrage
picture for next year's Academy.A group of Representative

(01:19:37):
suffragists women. Ellen Terry for the drama.
Mrs. Garret Anderson from medicine.
Mrs. Ayrton for science, Miss Elizabeth Robinson, As for
literature, christabel Pankhurstfor politics and hen term.
Is Nora Bailey. A professor of literature and a
brilliant lecturer. She is particularly fresh
looking and has a fine enthusiastic face with eyes far

(01:19:59):
apart. What?
Dr. Ellis busy making out. Prescriptions.
No, I see you haven't got the prescription.
Look on your face. A letter to the Prime Minister.
Perhaps a love letter to the Home, Secretary.
A valentine to the governor of Holloway who can tell anything

(01:20:21):
may happen in these days Gertrude.
So, birth weight laughing and beckoning to Bailey.
Don't talk to her Miss Bailey. She's concocting.
A speech come and talk to us. Instead, you do look in Splendid
form this afternoon. What have you been doing?
I've just given the best Chaucerlecture I've ever given in my

(01:20:43):
life. And the class was magnificent
Heavens. What a difference.
It makes when, you know, you have your class with you.
Sure sir, how interesting I haven't heard his name mentioned
since I was at school. Do tell me something about him.
Nora Bailey quoting with animation.

(01:21:05):
His stature was not very tall lean.
He was his legs were small hose with, in a stack of red, a
button bonnet, On his head, his beard was white trim, drowned
his countenance flyff and Mary found, huh?
I wonder whether Chaucer would have conceded us the vote.

(01:21:28):
I have my doubts, but I have no doubt about Shakespeare none.
I can't conceive. It possible that he, who gave us
Porsche Hermione Cordelia, Rosalind Beatrice Imogene and
all his other. Did women of brain education
initiative would have withheld us grudgingly the rights of full

(01:21:51):
citizenship I intend to die in the belief that he would have
been on our side. I'm sure he's on the platform at
all suffrage meetings calling out inaudibly votes for women.
Turning to Lady Geraldine. Don't you agree with me?
I have never thought of it nor have I but I dare say, she's

(01:22:16):
right, of course I'm right. What a Pity the Prime Minister
hasn't got Shakespeare's mind. There's no denying.
He hasn't is there lady Geraldine pensively I suppose.
There isn't You appear to be in some doubt?
No, not about that. But I was just wondering and her

(01:22:39):
Miss Hilda crowninshield. A famous pianist.
Oh, here's Hilda crowninshield. Hurrah Hilda crowninshield,
greeting them all here, I am. Just back from a concert in
Manchester, good afternoon. Dr. Alice busy, I see turning to
Gertrude silver with white. What did Doing shall I disturb

(01:23:01):
her if I try the piano? Oh dear.
No she's only writing a speech. As long as you don't talk to her
you may introduce the whole of the Queen's Hall Orchestra into
this room and she won't turn a hair good.
I want to run through the to little Brahms pieces.
I promise to play this afternoonif the piano was very much out

(01:23:22):
of tune and there are more than five or six notes broken, I
shall have to choose some other things.
That's all she sits down. At the piano, lady Geraldine,
who has been exceedingly stirredby her arrival goes up to her
lady, Geraldine excitedly, Miss crowninshield.
I must be pure. I cannot tell you what.

(01:23:43):
You're playing. A means to me.
I'd rather hear you than anyone in the world.
I don't know what you do to me when I hear you play.
I feel myself capable of everything.
Great. And God, Hilda crowninshield
greatly. Pleased and touching her gently
on the hand. Thank you, then.

(01:24:03):
You must be passionately fond ofMusic passionately.
It is the language. I understand.
And hold a crayon and shield. Beginning to touch the note, ah,
not so bad and I declare dr. Alice has had it tuned.
I never expected such luck. Yes, I can play one or two of

(01:24:25):
Brahms, intermittency, and perhaps a Chopin Waltz.
Perhaps even a bit of Greek. He addresses herself to Lady
Geraldine? Yes, yes, yes.
How good of you to come and playat dr.
Allison's good. Good.
Why I love playing to my suffrage comrades.

(01:24:46):
Hi, do anything for them? Play the trombone.
If they wanted it fearfully. She begins Brahms first
Intermezzo after she has been playing for a little while.
Enter Nellie. Grant a typist in shorthand
writer, she carries slung over her shoulder.
I'll bag with one remaining copyof boats for woman.
She looks extremely fatigued, Hilda, crowninshield glances up

(01:25:09):
and leaves off playing and joinsthe Why am I dear child?
You look worn out. Thoroughly at the end of
yourself. Let's ring for tea for her
immediately. They ring 40 tired but very
proud Miss crowninshield. I've had a most successful day,
sold all my votes for women except one solitary copy and had

(01:25:34):
some useful little talks with lots of people.
One man bought six copies, he said he had been an T until
yesterday when he went to an anti meeting and that converted
him. Bravo runs to the piano and
plays a few bars of the walls from The Merry Widow.

(01:25:54):
They laugh. Clap and dance a little.
I really do. Think the auntie's are our best
friends. Why?
I don't quite understand. I should have thought they were
very formidable. Those, oh dear.
No. You needn't have any fears about
that. You see with a few exceptions,

(01:26:15):
they can't speak. They haven't had the practice.
They haven't learned how to holdan audience, but when they had
learned what then even then theycan't be formidable.
Remember for your comfort that they haven't got an irresistible
Champion. As we have lady Geraldine, and
tarly, mystified, and irresistible Champion, she means

(01:26:40):
the spirit of the age lady. Geraldine smiling blankly, the
spirit of the age and lots of them.
Haven't gone into it. I know they haven't.
One of them brought me the anti-suffrage petition to sign
and told me, quite frankly, whenI Advance some arguments in

(01:27:00):
favor of women's suffrage that she had not gone into it but
that you wanted to get as many signatures as quickly as
possible for that petition whichwas sent in yesterday, you know,
seven miles long or seven feet high I forget which They may get
signatures ho Villages of signatures but they can't really

(01:27:23):
hope to influence people. If they haven't taken the
trouble to influence themselves,can they know, don't give them
one anxious thought there soon, fold their tents like the Arabs
and a silently steal away. Hilda crowninshield, who is

(01:27:43):
still a piano improvises and sing softly?
Night shall be filled. with him,you music and the cake.
Is, which was a shall fall at insa, like the Arabs, and a

(01:28:09):
silently steal away. T is brought in lady Geraldine,
who has been slowly Gathering herself together for a
declaration of faith. I have something to tell you
all. You've been taking it for
granted that I'm a suffragist. Well, I'm not, I'm an anti

(01:28:33):
suffragists. Great Heavens.
How delightful I've been longingto meet one face to face.
No, one brought me the anti-suffrage petition do tell
us your name? Who are you?
Ye Olde England, Nora Bailey turning to the others.
Why? Of course, lady Geraldine Bolin

(01:28:55):
She's going to take the chair onthe 15th at the Imperial Hall.
Surely, I'm not mistaken. Yes, that's quite right.
And as I could manage my speech.I came to my old school friend
in my distressed. I know it sounds absurd, but
it's true. Dr. Alice looking up for the
first time from her desk. Idiot!

(01:29:17):
Why did you give yourself away? I could shake you Alice.
I simply couldn't have held out a moment longer.
I couldn't have gone on pretending buy my silence, that
I was one of them. Dr. Alice getting up from her
desk and turning fiercely to hercomrades.
You mustn't. Betray her.
I wouldn't have her betrayed forworlds.

(01:29:38):
She's very dear to me, she has always been wonderfully.
Good, to me though. She has been a great nuisance at
times and has given me. A lot of trouble and has always
made the most unreasonable demands on me and well, I've
liked it, she's my oldest and dearest school friend and we
plotted all sorts of mischief. Gather in the happy old days and
if that isn't a sacred Bond then, nothing is nearly all the

(01:30:00):
pleasures. I had my holidays came through
her, I should never have known all the sweet pleasures of the
country, but for her Joy's, which abide with one forever,
when other things have passed out of one's life.
I can't and won't have her humiliated.
If I hadn't helped her over her speech, she would have probably
made herself. Ridiculous.
And I couldn't have stood that Ihad to help her and I shall

(01:30:21):
always have to help her if she becomes an anarchist and Is the
chair and an anarchist meeting. I shall have to write her speech
for that too. I promise me, you won't give her
away. Of course, they all stretch out
their hands to Lady Geraldine and make a Charming group around
her. There's nothing however in our

(01:30:43):
oath to prevent us from laughing.
A little is there? Oh, and to think I shan't be
able to go and Heckle. You, I can't Heckle dr.
Alice is old school friend. And I bought a ticket
surreptitiously and with the utmost difficulty as I told you.

(01:31:04):
I've never seen a real anti suffragists before.
Do let me paint your portrait. Side face would be best.
I think I'm not quite sure though.
No, it must be full face. Yes.
Full face do tell me if it's true that there's going to be a
no votes for women. Paper with a Union.

(01:31:26):
Jack on the cover. I shall be jealous.
Hilda crowninshield, taking ladygeraldine's arm.
Don't you? Dare tease her any more votes
are no votes. She and I speak the same
language, don't we? Well, now for this beach
Geraldine, I've quite enjoyed this little job, I'm rather

(01:31:48):
pleased with it. I think I've brought in all the
points degradation of Womanhood degradation and descent.
Vision of entire Empire dominantfemale vote.
In all matters, concerning the Army and Navy relations with
foreign powers with our coloniesand with India, physical Force
argument. Women have to safeguard the past

(01:32:09):
and the future and it is the men's work to look after the
present. I don't myself know what that
means but it sounds well absolute denial that the vote
will improve the economic position of women in direct
influence of women, quite sufficient, and phatak Nate
passionate insistence on your Onbrainless that is very
important, a few passing allusions to us suffragists as

(01:32:30):
obscure vulgarians. I think you might almost call us
on educated yes uneducated and obscure vulgarians.
That also sounds well and as there's so little to say, it
must sound well my dear girl or else the cause parishes.
Oh yes. And you mustn't, forget to refer
to yourselves as so-called traitress has to the six.

(01:32:52):
So-called survivals of the Dark Ages.
Because that will elicit respectful, sympathy and be
sure. And mention that you have joined
the territorial nursing Corps. I forget its name, but that's
near enough. Have you joined it by the way,
lady Geraldine who is standing all this splendidly no then do.
So at once because that's a piece of subtle, cleverness.

(01:33:14):
You disclaim physical force and yet are preparing indirectly to
defend your country there. Now, haven't I been a brick?
Haven't I wiped out forever, theobligation of those French.
Ian's lady Geraldine was Spirit but good temper, know that
obligation could never be wiped out and besides this service

(01:33:34):
doesn't count. Do you know what?
I'm going to do with this speech?
Look, she throws it into the fire.
Well of all the ungrateful of risk to Craddock little
wretches, they Geraldine with increased spirit and charm
turning to the others. Do you know what?
I'm going to do next? I'm Going home to Fink

(01:33:57):
impossible. You've never done such a thing
in your life. Shame, dr.
Alice, it's never too late to sin.
I mean, to think lady Geraldine smiling at her.
I should love to come to one of your lectures.
May I, of course, you may lady Geraldine to Gertrude so birth

(01:34:19):
weight, and will you really paint my portrait?
Of course, I will. Full face.
And when you're thinking very Geraldine to hold a
crowninshield, the same languagevotes or Novo.
Yes. Yes, lady Geraldine to know they
Grant, we you let me have your last remaining copy of your

(01:34:43):
paper. Here it is Lady Geraldine a
present from us all. Thank you, goodbye.
All of you. Goodbye.
She goes to the door when she has reached it.
She turns around to dr. Alice there was a roguish look
on her face Alice. How long do mumps take?

(01:35:04):
Oh, about two or three weeks. Very infectious of their highly.
I believe I've got them already afraid.
I shan't be able to take that chair.
Goodbye, she goes out. They look after her for a
moment. Dr. Alice fiercely mind if you

(01:35:25):
betray my school Chum, I'll never speak to you again.
Betray one of our own dr. Alice for she's one of our own
already before many weeks, our past, she'll be selling votes
for women in a blinding. Snowstorm in the merry month of
May Nora Bailey, raising her, teacup her health, they drink

(01:35:46):
her health, Curtain. End of Lady Geraldine speech by
Beatrix harridan. End of Lady Geraldine speech by
Beatrix harridan.

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One-Act Play Collections - Book 14, Part 3

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}One-Act Play Collections - Book 14, Part 3