September 25, 2025 • 22 mins
The average human says 10,000 - 20,000 words every single day yet still falls short from hearing others or feeling that the words hold weight. How do you fix this? Recognizing that you might not always be right. Join me while I talk about ways I’ve struggled and succeeded with this ideology!
00:34 What I've been up to
06:35 You're being self-destructive
10:11 Storytime
15:04 Something to learn now
19:43 Promise yourself this
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You have 5 seconds to answer. What color is the sky 54321?
Did you say blue? What if I said that the sky was
pink or that it was orange? Would I be wrong?
No. It all depends on your
perspective. Let's talk about it.
What's up crew? Well, in my opinion, why would
the hell boy? You need to ask yourself why
(00:22):
aren't you kind of controversial?
But I don't think we should. I just broke down crying.
You're listening to Free to Growwith Jerome and bugger new
episode every Thursday. Hey crew, welcome to episode 10.
Stupidity is key. Today we're going to be talking
about the power of knowing that you might not always be the
(00:45):
smartest in the room and how that can help you navigate
conversations specifically. I know this can this, this can
be like an ideology that can be branched out to a lot of other
areas of your life, like situations, homework, work, like
all that kind of stuff. But we're just going to focus on
conversations for today. So before we dive into the
(01:05):
episode, I wanted to say hello to you guys.
I hope you guys have had a really, really, really good
week. Just a little check in on me.
A lot of fun stuff have been happening this week because I
finally started school on Tuesday.
For those of you that did not know or know the university I'm
going to Dalhousie, the teachershave been on strike.
(01:27):
Well kind of the the school and the teachers were in
disagreement about the pay. So the school locked the
teachers out and then the teachers protested back and then
they finally came to a deal. So now I'm finally starting
school. It was definitely a fun 2-3
weeks of just hanging out with my friends and having lots of
fun and partying and eating foodand going to the gym.
(01:50):
But I'm really excited to like finally, finally be a university
student. A lot of fun stuff has been
happening all the time. Namely, we had the society Expo
recently where all the societiescame and you know, they were in
like this big building and they all had their own booths.
There were so many societies andI drank a lot.
(02:12):
I'm not, I'm not actually going to be doing a lot, but there was
just so much that I'm just goingto try out over the next week or
two and then solidify what I want to get down on.
But I signed up for the Dallas Theatre Society.
I signed up for the Fun Club, the swim Club, Model UN, for
those of you don't know, I like really love Model UNI.
(02:33):
Did it during high school, the debate society, but I don't
think I'm going to do the debatesociety because I like Molly UN
more and they're like very similar.
Oh, the outdoor society, so cool.
The outdoor society is always running these really cool trips
for students where you can buy tickets and go on an adventure
with them. Like they do overnight canoe
(02:56):
trips, they do hikes, They do like hammock chills at like this
big park nearby the university. It's really, really, really
cool. So I did a walk with them to
this park called Point Pleasant Park.
It's really, really nice. And there's also, we also set up
a bunch of hammocks and just chilled and vibed first thing in
the morning. It was great.
(03:18):
The Canoe and Kayak Society where I went on this canoe the
other day, it was like 2 hours in the water, just chill.
Sunday morning. It was great.
So yeah, I've been, I've been, I've been busy.
But one thing I did want to share with you guys is that I
decided to audition for the Dal A Cappella Society because I
(03:39):
really wanted to join. I did not know a lot about a
cappella like a year or two ago,but my girlfriend's brother is a
cappella and I've been to a couple of the shows and I was
just like, wow, this is so, so, so cool.
Because I feel like I'm always doing a Capella like just like
in my head or like when I'm likejust like tweaking on my own.
(04:02):
Sometimes I'll be in my room andjust like just start humming and
just like, you know, I feel likea lot of people do that all the
time. I just start tweaking and just
like start humming and tapping my foot and making a whole
musical by myself. But so I went to the audition
and to be completely honest, I was not that prepared because
the audition was on a Saturday morning and the Society Fair was
(04:23):
a week before that and I forgot that it was happening.
So I went and I signed, I, I signed up on Saturday morning
for audition on Saturday morning.
And my then I don't know, I was like nervous, my voice was
getting dry, all that kind of stuff.
So I sang stick season for them,which I think I did pretty well,
(04:45):
I'm not going to lie, but I did not do very well.
Then we did a couple of vocal exercises, like repeat after me
kind of thing, and I was messingthem up because I do love music
a lot and the whole world of music, but I'm not very good at
theory, like at all or like skills and all like all like
musical terms, like I don't know.
I really don't know anything. I really don't.
And it's it's like concerning for like the amount of time I've
(05:09):
spent in music class or like brown musical people.
It's a bit concerning, but Oh well.
So anyways, I went to the audition and I did not make it.
And that one, that one stung a little, I'm not going to lie,
because I didn't really, really want to join.
But they were saying that a lot of people came out, yadda,
yadda, yadda, you know? So yeah, that was a bit of a low
(05:31):
light of this week that I did not make that audition because I
didn't really want to. But Oh well, I'm going to
audition again in January, I think.
I think they do auditions every semester, so hopefully it'll go
a little better than. But I'm not sour or anything.
We'll just take it like for whatit is kind of thing.
(05:53):
And yeah, in brighter news though, the theatre society,
they were, I went to their meeting on Tuesday, on Tuesday,
yes. And I, I learned so much.
They do musicals and they're going to be posting the musical
that the school's going to be doing this year pretty soon.
(06:15):
So I'm definitely gonna auditionfor that.
I'll let you guys know how that goes as well.
And then I also did into water polo on Wednesday night.
And that was so, so, so much fun.
I had a lot of fun. And the group is really, really,
really, really, really great. So yeah, I've just been getting
up to stuff. So past that, finally starting
(06:39):
the episode where we are today, we're going to be talking about
how stupidity is key. I will admit the title is a bit
of click bait just to get the engagement going.
But essentially the the thesis of this episode, if you will, is
that it's great to have confidence.
(07:02):
You know, it's great to have confidence.
It's important to have confidence and for the, for you
to have the ability to feel thatyou're the smartest in the room.
That's amazing. However, where that gets where
that becomes a problem is when you think you're always the
smartest in the room regardless,like like before you, before you
have enough data to discern that.
(07:23):
Like if you're if you work as a teacher and you teach
kindergartens, yeah, maybe it's,it's very, very, very, it's a
very, very, very wise thing for you to think that you're the
smartest in the room because youprobably are.
But there are times you just mess up.
There are times that a kid is like, oh, no, I didn't like hit
this kid. But you think, oh, no, my adult
(07:46):
wisdom is better, yada, yada, yada.
And maybe it's not. So I want to start with chapter
1, if you will, where I want to focus on the fact that I feel
that this ideology is very, verywell known.
It's not like I'm saying anything earth shattering here
(08:06):
at all. It's just not applied very well
because you can get by without thinking this way very well.
And to be honest, a lot of us do, a lot of us do because it's,
it's, it's easier to have that false sense of security that you
like, you know everything, you know what's going on, rather
(08:26):
than admit that you maybe don't.And I'm so guilty of this too.
And the reason why that's a problem is because that the only
thing that that grants you is incomplete experiences,
incomplete, like actions lead toincomplete experiences.
And when I say that, I mean thatif I'm talking to you, let's
(08:50):
say, right, Let's say I'd say you and I got into a heated, A
heated conversation about something, right?
And maybe we're actually on the same side of the issue, right?
But I just, I can't. If I come into this
conversation, or if you, if you come into the conversation
thinking that you are right and I am wrong, then the
(09:11):
conversation is ended before it has even begun.
Because if we do come to that stalemate where we're just
clashing heads and know like progress is being made into the
conversation, then you leave theconversation without fully
understanding the thoughts and experiences I had to give to
you. And I don't get the same out of
you either. So it's, it's a lose, lose
scenario. It is, it is not like it's, it's
(09:34):
not beneficial for anyone. And I bring that up because
recently this is really random, but I love, love, love talking
about anything with anyone all the time.
If you are a person that like maybe knows me, like you go to
school with me or something and just you're just listening to
this. I will talk to you about
anything all the time. And it's not because I don't
(09:55):
have friends that are on board or anything.
I just love talking to people all the time.
People just come up to me and just start like lore dropping
your whole life to me. Would I find pretty fun or just
really random like niche like yap sessions or advice.
And so recently there were thesetwo girls that I go to school
(10:18):
with that I was like friends with more through like
association before, but we've been coming closer and closer.
I'm like, they're my friends now.
And so essentially we were at the dining hall eating lunch and
we started talking about conspiracy theories.
And we, you know, we were just like talking about like, you
know, like that Malaysia flight that disappeared, like 911 moon
(10:41):
landing, like everything. And it was funny, like we
weren't taking the conversation too, too seriously.
But then we realized like, hey, there's like a bit of a vibe
going, like we like this conversation.
So we decided to meet up later that day and talk about some
more. We ended up back in my room with
my roommate and we were just talking and essentially these
two girls, these two girls are Jewish.
(11:03):
And I wanted to well, before I get there, if you follow my
Instagram or if you've talked tome in real life, maybe you know,
or don't know that I consider myself a pro pro Palestine
supporter when it comes to the Israel Palestine situation.
But that does not mean I think every single opinion I hold is
(11:25):
correct. I don't believe that like I'm
the voice of like all knowing God or anything like that.
I'm, I'm confident in my, in my position, but that doesn't mean
I think I know everything, you know, and there's an important
separation. So I've always wanted to have a
conversation like a civil, not like yelling or screaming civil
(11:45):
conversation with a person who identifies with the Jewish faith
or culture or heritage and have that conversation about Israel
versus Palestine. And so we talked about it and it
was so, so, so refreshing. I learned a lot.
I learned a lot and it was cool because I think even if I don't
(12:10):
like I, they, they told them, they told me they're not putting
words. They told me that they consider
themselves pro Israel people. And that's, I think the, the,
the term like pro Israel, pro Palestine are very, very, very
broad terms and can mean very, very, very different things.
And it turned out that my definition being pro, passing
(12:33):
her definition of this, her definition of being Pro is
really, we're actually very, very, very similar.
And I wouldn't have been able tolearn so much about their faith
or about where they come from and the journey of the people if
I wasn't willing to sit down andbe like, hey, maybe I don't know
everything. Let me hear the other, other
(12:56):
perspective. And so I learned a lot and I'm
sure they learned a lot from that conversation.
And I still hold the position ofthat.
I'm a pro Palestine supporter and they still hold the position
that they're pro Israeli people.And the goal of the conversation
was never really to convert 1 another or anything like that.
But like the real like treasure out of that conversation is that
(13:18):
we both left. All three of us left the
conversation respecting each other So, so, so much more.
Because the ability to sit down and have such a sort of, for a
controversial subject discussed in such a civil manner where you
like, you feel heard, it is a beautiful thing.
And it doesn't even have to be controversial.
(13:41):
It's just the fact that I feel that you, you and like humans in
general, I feel like we don't feel fully heard enough, you
know, like you ever had a conversation with someone and
you can, you can tell, you can tell that they're listening to
you. They, they, they don't have any
like preconceived notions of what you're going to say or who
(14:03):
you are. They don't, they're not like
going to go whisper it off to someone else or anything.
Like it's fine if they do, but not like in like a back stabby
kind of way. You just feel hurt, you know,
you feel that your words carry meaning, that they're having a
lasting impact on this person and that every like syllable
(14:24):
that you're saying is being heard.
I feel it's very rare that we have those experiences.
Not like rare, like once in yourlifetime kind of thing.
But the amount of conversations you'll have like that compared
to the amount of conversations you have on a day-to-day basis
is very small. It's like 1 to like 50 or
something or depends, depends who you're hanging out with.
(14:44):
But so the ability for both of us to come to the conversation,
they're both too creeps and be like, OK, we might not be right
here, turned out to be a very, very, very beautiful experience.
And so I recommend that all of you do that ASAP.
(15:05):
And so that will lead into the second portion where I'm
basically saying that before youcan do all that, you need to,
you need to come to terms with yourself very quickly that you
can be wrong and, and, and, and it's OK, It's OK.
You know, like you don't got to crash out about it.
(15:28):
Because I think like being wrongin like once you realize you're
wrong in a situation or maybe like, you know, when you
subconsciously realize that, butyou're trying to like delude
yourself or you start like, I don't know, being mean to other
person or just like throwing in.Like, again, this is mainly
(15:52):
focusing on conversation aspects.
Just like, you know, when you'redebating someone and you can
just tell that their arguments are just like, like bra, like
bra, what are we doing right now?
Like, like if I say like if I tell someone politely, like, oh,
hey, like there's something stuck in your teeth or whatever.
And they take the offense to that and they're like, bro, what
(16:14):
do you even know? Yudda yudda, yudda, yudda, Like
you're ugly. Yudda, yudda, yudda.
That was a very like random example I just came up with
there. But that's what I mean.
Like, you know that the things they're saying to you, you just
have no, no relation to what is actually being said.
Like when it comes down like thebread and butter of the
conversation, their response hasnothing to do with it.
They're just trying to like put up a wall.
(16:35):
This is not to shame anybody because everyone does this.
I do this currently. And I I think you're like super
Zen and cool if you don't do this at all, like ever at all.
But putting up that wall in the conversation is admitting a sign
of defeat. And it's not even defeat in
sense you're wrong. It's just defeat in you've lost
(16:57):
your, you've lost like your, your will to have a civil
conversation in that moment. Because if you and I are
discussing and I say something in the in our conversation, this
could be a heated conversation or just like a normal
conversation. Like maybe we're at work and
we're like coworkers or something.
(17:18):
And I tell you to do something that maybe like very
respectfully and politely that you were supposed to do and you
forgot how you take that personally.
You know, any situation like that, any conversation, if I say
that statement to you and you take that personally when it was
not a personal statement, if youstart lashing out and crashing
(17:40):
out and all that kind of stuff, then all that, all that.
I see that as is. And then you're saying I was
wrong. The position I held in this
conversation was wrong. And, and on top of that, I'm too
weak to admit that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not
(18:02):
mature enough to admit that I'm wrong.
I'm, I'm too weak to admit that I'm wrong.
And so instead of that, I'm justgoing to take it all out on you.
And you're going to take the emotional burden off of me.
And I'm going to walk away thinking that I'm right.
And you don't like, that's not the way to go through life, you
know, and that may sound like a dramatic scenario, but it's
(18:22):
really not. I think that happens all the
time. I think we have some of those
conversations like once every single day.
And the more you reduce that, you will realize how much more
full your conversations can be and how much weight your words
really have. And not even like in a bullying
sense or something. Because sometimes when people
(18:44):
hear all my, my, my voice and mywords have so much weight to
take us like a scary thing. No, but it's like a good thing.
Like your words mean a lot to me.
Not in the sense that they will hurt me.
The sense that I hold them dearly.
Like I want to hear your thoughts.
I want to hear what you have to say, but you won't ever, no one
will be able to appreciate your words like that if you give up
(19:09):
on civil conversation. And so that's why it's always
important. If you're if you're smart,
that's amazing for you, especially if you're very well
versed in the topic, that's amazing.
But there's honestly nothing better than having a
conversation with someone where you guys both leave the
conversation feeling accomplished and respected and
(19:29):
heard. There's nothing better.
There's nothing better. So do that because that can.
This is the third part. I already touched on that
really, But the third part is that this can really, really,
(19:49):
really change your life. It really can.
And it definitely did for me. I I enjoy being a presence for
people or try to trying to be the presence for people where
they feel that they can just come have a conversation and
they're feeling hard and it sayshave to be about everything.
Like it, It's OK. Like you have your own things to
(20:11):
do. You can't devote your attention
to people what they're saying all the time.
That's fine. Also don't take this approach.
If someone's being rude to you, like if I'm, if I'm being rude
to you, then like, like right off the bat.
And you respond to that negatively.
That's not you, dude. That's not you waving flag of
surrender or anything. No, that's just like, like
that's just a person being mean.But I'm saying if you guys are
(20:32):
both being respectful, then always like make a commitment to
yourself right now and in the future that you are going to
never give up on civil conversation.
And you need to hold the notion that you could be wrong.
You could be wrong. That doesn't mean that doesn't
mean be that doesn't mean don't be confident in what you're
(20:53):
saying. No, no, no, no, no, no.
And believe me, believe me, if you know me in person or have
debated me, then I'm sure there have been times where I have or
maybe I've looked like I am likeMr. know it all and I'm just
like, so sure, my position. But even to this day, when I
(21:15):
debate, I debate very, very, very strongly.
I sound very, very confident in my position, but I still hold
the notion that anything I'm saying, I could be wrong.
Any opinion I am telling you guys, especially on this podcast
too, I say that I think I say this on this podcast all the
time, but anything I'm saying, Icould think the complete
opposite. Tomorrow, a week from now, month
(21:37):
from now, years from now, 10 years from now, doesn't matter.
I can think completely different, especially when it
comes to these sort of like philosophical and like advice
sessions, not where I'm like yapping about random things.
Those ideologies could completely change and, and I'm
aware of that. That's not, that's not to say,
oh, everything I'm thinking is wrong.
(21:58):
No, I'm very confident in every opinion I have right now.
Like, I'm very confident in every opinion I have over very,
very, very large and broad length of topics, but I also
hold the notion that every single one of them could be
wrong. This is making me less
confident. It just makes me more able to
hear other people's perspective.And that's the way to conduct
(22:21):
yourself in conversation. So remember, stupidity is key.
You can be smart 99% of the time, but you can also be stupid
1% of the time. And that will be your saving
grace and your way to navigate through day-to-day
conversations. Thank you so much guys for
tuning in. I had a lot of fun talking to
(22:41):
you guys today. Oh, this could be wrong, but who
cares. I hope you guys have a really,
really, really good week and I will see you next Thursday.
Bye bye.
You have 5 seconds to answer. What color is the sky 54321?
Did you say blue? What if I said that the sky was
pink or that it was orange? Would I be wrong?
No. It all depends on your
perspective. Let's talk about it.
What's up crew? Well, in my opinion, why would
the hell boy? You need to ask yourself why
(00:22):
aren't you kind of controversial?
But I don't think we should. I just broke down crying.
You're listening to Free to Growwith Jerome and bugger new
episode every Thursday. Hey crew, welcome to episode 10.
Stupidity is key. Today we're going to be talking
about the power of knowing that you might not always be the
(00:45):
smartest in the room and how that can help you navigate
conversations specifically. I know this can this, this can
be like an ideology that can be branched out to a lot of other
areas of your life, like situations, homework, work, like
all that kind of stuff. But we're just going to focus on
conversations for today. So before we dive into the
(01:05):
episode, I wanted to say hello to you guys.
I hope you guys have had a really, really, really good
week. Just a little check in on me.
A lot of fun stuff have been happening this week because I
finally started school on Tuesday.
For those of you that did not know or know the university I'm
going to Dalhousie, the teachershave been on strike.
(01:27):
Well kind of the the school and the teachers were in
disagreement about the pay. So the school locked the
teachers out and then the teachers protested back and then
they finally came to a deal. So now I'm finally starting
school. It was definitely a fun 2-3
weeks of just hanging out with my friends and having lots of
fun and partying and eating foodand going to the gym.
(01:50):
But I'm really excited to like finally, finally be a university
student. A lot of fun stuff has been
happening all the time. Namely, we had the society Expo
recently where all the societiescame and you know, they were in
like this big building and they all had their own booths.
There were so many societies andI drank a lot.
(02:12):
I'm not, I'm not actually going to be doing a lot, but there was
just so much that I'm just goingto try out over the next week or
two and then solidify what I want to get down on.
But I signed up for the Dallas Theatre Society.
I signed up for the Fun Club, the swim Club, Model UN, for
those of you don't know, I like really love Model UNI.
(02:33):
Did it during high school, the debate society, but I don't
think I'm going to do the debatesociety because I like Molly UN
more and they're like very similar.
Oh, the outdoor society, so cool.
The outdoor society is always running these really cool trips
for students where you can buy tickets and go on an adventure
with them. Like they do overnight canoe
(02:56):
trips, they do hikes, They do like hammock chills at like this
big park nearby the university. It's really, really, really
cool. So I did a walk with them to
this park called Point Pleasant Park.
It's really, really nice. And there's also, we also set up
a bunch of hammocks and just chilled and vibed first thing in
the morning. It was great.
(03:18):
The Canoe and Kayak Society where I went on this canoe the
other day, it was like 2 hours in the water, just chill.
Sunday morning. It was great.
So yeah, I've been, I've been, I've been busy.
But one thing I did want to share with you guys is that I
decided to audition for the Dal A Cappella Society because I
(03:39):
really wanted to join. I did not know a lot about a
cappella like a year or two ago,but my girlfriend's brother is a
cappella and I've been to a couple of the shows and I was
just like, wow, this is so, so, so cool.
Because I feel like I'm always doing a Capella like just like
in my head or like when I'm likejust like tweaking on my own.
(04:02):
Sometimes I'll be in my room andjust like just start humming and
just like, you know, I feel likea lot of people do that all the
time. I just start tweaking and just
like start humming and tapping my foot and making a whole
musical by myself. But so I went to the audition
and to be completely honest, I was not that prepared because
the audition was on a Saturday morning and the Society Fair was
(04:23):
a week before that and I forgot that it was happening.
So I went and I signed, I, I signed up on Saturday morning
for audition on Saturday morning.
And my then I don't know, I was like nervous, my voice was
getting dry, all that kind of stuff.
So I sang stick season for them,which I think I did pretty well,
(04:45):
I'm not going to lie, but I did not do very well.
Then we did a couple of vocal exercises, like repeat after me
kind of thing, and I was messingthem up because I do love music
a lot and the whole world of music, but I'm not very good at
theory, like at all or like skills and all like all like
musical terms, like I don't know.
I really don't know anything. I really don't.
And it's it's like concerning for like the amount of time I've
(05:09):
spent in music class or like brown musical people.
It's a bit concerning, but Oh well.
So anyways, I went to the audition and I did not make it.
And that one, that one stung a little, I'm not going to lie,
because I didn't really, really want to join.
But they were saying that a lot of people came out, yadda,
yadda, yadda, you know? So yeah, that was a bit of a low
(05:31):
light of this week that I did not make that audition because I
didn't really want to. But Oh well, I'm going to
audition again in January, I think.
I think they do auditions every semester, so hopefully it'll go
a little better than. But I'm not sour or anything.
We'll just take it like for whatit is kind of thing.
(05:53):
And yeah, in brighter news though, the theatre society,
they were, I went to their meeting on Tuesday, on Tuesday,
yes. And I, I learned so much.
They do musicals and they're going to be posting the musical
that the school's going to be doing this year pretty soon.
(06:15):
So I'm definitely gonna auditionfor that.
I'll let you guys know how that goes as well.
And then I also did into water polo on Wednesday night.
And that was so, so, so much fun.
I had a lot of fun. And the group is really, really,
really, really, really great. So yeah, I've just been getting
up to stuff. So past that, finally starting
(06:39):
the episode where we are today, we're going to be talking about
how stupidity is key. I will admit the title is a bit
of click bait just to get the engagement going.
But essentially the the thesis of this episode, if you will, is
that it's great to have confidence.
(07:02):
You know, it's great to have confidence.
It's important to have confidence and for the, for you
to have the ability to feel thatyou're the smartest in the room.
That's amazing. However, where that gets where
that becomes a problem is when you think you're always the
smartest in the room regardless,like like before you, before you
have enough data to discern that.
(07:23):
Like if you're if you work as a teacher and you teach
kindergartens, yeah, maybe it's,it's very, very, very, it's a
very, very, very wise thing for you to think that you're the
smartest in the room because youprobably are.
But there are times you just mess up.
There are times that a kid is like, oh, no, I didn't like hit
this kid. But you think, oh, no, my adult
(07:46):
wisdom is better, yada, yada, yada.
And maybe it's not. So I want to start with chapter
1, if you will, where I want to focus on the fact that I feel
that this ideology is very, verywell known.
It's not like I'm saying anything earth shattering here
(08:06):
at all. It's just not applied very well
because you can get by without thinking this way very well.
And to be honest, a lot of us do, a lot of us do because it's,
it's, it's easier to have that false sense of security that you
like, you know everything, you know what's going on, rather
(08:26):
than admit that you maybe don't.And I'm so guilty of this too.
And the reason why that's a problem is because that the only
thing that that grants you is incomplete experiences,
incomplete, like actions lead toincomplete experiences.
And when I say that, I mean thatif I'm talking to you, let's
(08:50):
say, right, Let's say I'd say you and I got into a heated, A
heated conversation about something, right?
And maybe we're actually on the same side of the issue, right?
But I just, I can't. If I come into this
conversation, or if you, if you come into the conversation
thinking that you are right and I am wrong, then the
(09:11):
conversation is ended before it has even begun.
Because if we do come to that stalemate where we're just
clashing heads and know like progress is being made into the
conversation, then you leave theconversation without fully
understanding the thoughts and experiences I had to give to
you. And I don't get the same out of
you either. So it's, it's a lose, lose
scenario. It is, it is not like it's, it's
(09:34):
not beneficial for anyone. And I bring that up because
recently this is really random, but I love, love, love talking
about anything with anyone all the time.
If you are a person that like maybe knows me, like you go to
school with me or something and just you're just listening to
this. I will talk to you about
anything all the time. And it's not because I don't
(09:55):
have friends that are on board or anything.
I just love talking to people all the time.
People just come up to me and just start like lore dropping
your whole life to me. Would I find pretty fun or just
really random like niche like yap sessions or advice.
And so recently there were thesetwo girls that I go to school
(10:18):
with that I was like friends with more through like
association before, but we've been coming closer and closer.
I'm like, they're my friends now.
And so essentially we were at the dining hall eating lunch and
we started talking about conspiracy theories.
And we, you know, we were just like talking about like, you
know, like that Malaysia flight that disappeared, like 911 moon
(10:41):
landing, like everything. And it was funny, like we
weren't taking the conversation too, too seriously.
But then we realized like, hey, there's like a bit of a vibe
going, like we like this conversation.
So we decided to meet up later that day and talk about some
more. We ended up back in my room with
my roommate and we were just talking and essentially these
two girls, these two girls are Jewish.
(11:03):
And I wanted to well, before I get there, if you follow my
Instagram or if you've talked tome in real life, maybe you know,
or don't know that I consider myself a pro pro Palestine
supporter when it comes to the Israel Palestine situation.
But that does not mean I think every single opinion I hold is
(11:25):
correct. I don't believe that like I'm
the voice of like all knowing God or anything like that.
I'm, I'm confident in my, in my position, but that doesn't mean
I think I know everything, you know, and there's an important
separation. So I've always wanted to have a
conversation like a civil, not like yelling or screaming civil
(11:45):
conversation with a person who identifies with the Jewish faith
or culture or heritage and have that conversation about Israel
versus Palestine. And so we talked about it and it
was so, so, so refreshing. I learned a lot.
I learned a lot and it was cool because I think even if I don't
(12:10):
like I, they, they told them, they told me they're not putting
words. They told me that they consider
themselves pro Israel people. And that's, I think the, the,
the term like pro Israel, pro Palestine are very, very, very
broad terms and can mean very, very, very different things.
And it turned out that my definition being pro, passing
(12:33):
her definition of this, her definition of being Pro is
really, we're actually very, very, very similar.
And I wouldn't have been able tolearn so much about their faith
or about where they come from and the journey of the people if
I wasn't willing to sit down andbe like, hey, maybe I don't know
everything. Let me hear the other, other
(12:56):
perspective. And so I learned a lot and I'm
sure they learned a lot from that conversation.
And I still hold the position ofthat.
I'm a pro Palestine supporter and they still hold the position
that they're pro Israeli people.And the goal of the conversation
was never really to convert 1 another or anything like that.
But like the real like treasure out of that conversation is that
(13:18):
we both left. All three of us left the
conversation respecting each other So, so, so much more.
Because the ability to sit down and have such a sort of, for a
controversial subject discussed in such a civil manner where you
like, you feel heard, it is a beautiful thing.
And it doesn't even have to be controversial.
(13:41):
It's just the fact that I feel that you, you and like humans in
general, I feel like we don't feel fully heard enough, you
know, like you ever had a conversation with someone and
you can, you can tell, you can tell that they're listening to
you. They, they, they don't have any
like preconceived notions of what you're going to say or who
(14:03):
you are. They don't, they're not like
going to go whisper it off to someone else or anything.
Like it's fine if they do, but not like in like a back stabby
kind of way. You just feel hurt, you know,
you feel that your words carry meaning, that they're having a
lasting impact on this person and that every like syllable
(14:24):
that you're saying is being heard.
I feel it's very rare that we have those experiences.
Not like rare, like once in yourlifetime kind of thing.
But the amount of conversations you'll have like that compared
to the amount of conversations you have on a day-to-day basis
is very small. It's like 1 to like 50 or
something or depends, depends who you're hanging out with.
(14:44):
But so the ability for both of us to come to the conversation,
they're both too creeps and be like, OK, we might not be right
here, turned out to be a very, very, very beautiful experience.
And so I recommend that all of you do that ASAP.
(15:05):
And so that will lead into the second portion where I'm
basically saying that before youcan do all that, you need to,
you need to come to terms with yourself very quickly that you
can be wrong and, and, and, and it's OK, It's OK.
You know, like you don't got to crash out about it.
(15:28):
Because I think like being wrongin like once you realize you're
wrong in a situation or maybe like, you know, when you
subconsciously realize that, butyou're trying to like delude
yourself or you start like, I don't know, being mean to other
person or just like throwing in.Like, again, this is mainly
(15:52):
focusing on conversation aspects.
Just like, you know, when you'redebating someone and you can
just tell that their arguments are just like, like bra, like
bra, what are we doing right now?
Like, like if I say like if I tell someone politely, like, oh,
hey, like there's something stuck in your teeth or whatever.
And they take the offense to that and they're like, bro, what
(16:14):
do you even know? Yudda yudda, yudda, yudda, Like
you're ugly. Yudda, yudda, yudda.
That was a very like random example I just came up with
there. But that's what I mean.
Like, you know that the things they're saying to you, you just
have no, no relation to what is actually being said.
Like when it comes down like thebread and butter of the
conversation, their response hasnothing to do with it.
They're just trying to like put up a wall.
(16:35):
This is not to shame anybody because everyone does this.
I do this currently. And I I think you're like super
Zen and cool if you don't do this at all, like ever at all.
But putting up that wall in the conversation is admitting a sign
of defeat. And it's not even defeat in
sense you're wrong. It's just defeat in you've lost
(16:57):
your, you've lost like your, your will to have a civil
conversation in that moment. Because if you and I are
discussing and I say something in the in our conversation, this
could be a heated conversation or just like a normal
conversation. Like maybe we're at work and
we're like coworkers or something.
(17:18):
And I tell you to do something that maybe like very
respectfully and politely that you were supposed to do and you
forgot how you take that personally.
You know, any situation like that, any conversation, if I say
that statement to you and you take that personally when it was
not a personal statement, if youstart lashing out and crashing
(17:40):
out and all that kind of stuff, then all that, all that.
I see that as is. And then you're saying I was
wrong. The position I held in this
conversation was wrong. And, and on top of that, I'm too
weak to admit that I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not
(18:02):
mature enough to admit that I'm wrong.
I'm, I'm too weak to admit that I'm wrong.
And so instead of that, I'm justgoing to take it all out on you.
And you're going to take the emotional burden off of me.
And I'm going to walk away thinking that I'm right.
And you don't like, that's not the way to go through life, you
know, and that may sound like a dramatic scenario, but it's
(18:22):
really not. I think that happens all the
time. I think we have some of those
conversations like once every single day.
And the more you reduce that, you will realize how much more
full your conversations can be and how much weight your words
really have. And not even like in a bullying
sense or something. Because sometimes when people
(18:44):
hear all my, my, my voice and mywords have so much weight to
take us like a scary thing. No, but it's like a good thing.
Like your words mean a lot to me.
Not in the sense that they will hurt me.
The sense that I hold them dearly.
Like I want to hear your thoughts.
I want to hear what you have to say, but you won't ever, no one
will be able to appreciate your words like that if you give up
(19:09):
on civil conversation. And so that's why it's always
important. If you're if you're smart,
that's amazing for you, especially if you're very well
versed in the topic, that's amazing.
But there's honestly nothing better than having a
conversation with someone where you guys both leave the
conversation feeling accomplished and respected and
(19:29):
heard. There's nothing better.
There's nothing better. So do that because that can.
This is the third part. I already touched on that
really, But the third part is that this can really, really,
(19:49):
really change your life. It really can.
And it definitely did for me. I I enjoy being a presence for
people or try to trying to be the presence for people where
they feel that they can just come have a conversation and
they're feeling hard and it sayshave to be about everything.
Like it, It's OK. Like you have your own things to
(20:11):
do. You can't devote your attention
to people what they're saying all the time.
That's fine. Also don't take this approach.
If someone's being rude to you, like if I'm, if I'm being rude
to you, then like, like right off the bat.
And you respond to that negatively.
That's not you, dude. That's not you waving flag of
surrender or anything. No, that's just like, like
that's just a person being mean.But I'm saying if you guys are
(20:32):
both being respectful, then always like make a commitment to
yourself right now and in the future that you are going to
never give up on civil conversation.
And you need to hold the notion that you could be wrong.
You could be wrong. That doesn't mean that doesn't
mean be that doesn't mean don't be confident in what you're
(20:53):
saying. No, no, no, no, no, no.
And believe me, believe me, if you know me in person or have
debated me, then I'm sure there have been times where I have or
maybe I've looked like I am likeMr. know it all and I'm just
like, so sure, my position. But even to this day, when I
(21:15):
debate, I debate very, very, very strongly.
I sound very, very confident in my position, but I still hold
the notion that anything I'm saying, I could be wrong.
Any opinion I am telling you guys, especially on this podcast
too, I say that I think I say this on this podcast all the
time, but anything I'm saying, Icould think the complete
opposite. Tomorrow, a week from now, month
(21:37):
from now, years from now, 10 years from now, doesn't matter.
I can think completely different, especially when it
comes to these sort of like philosophical and like advice
sessions, not where I'm like yapping about random things.
Those ideologies could completely change and, and I'm
aware of that. That's not, that's not to say,
oh, everything I'm thinking is wrong.
(21:58):
No, I'm very confident in every opinion I have right now.
Like, I'm very confident in every opinion I have over very,
very, very large and broad length of topics, but I also
hold the notion that every single one of them could be
wrong. This is making me less
confident. It just makes me more able to
hear other people's perspective.And that's the way to conduct
(22:21):
yourself in conversation. So remember, stupidity is key.
You can be smart 99% of the time, but you can also be stupid
1% of the time. And that will be your saving
grace and your way to navigate through day-to-day
conversations. Thank you so much guys for
tuning in. I had a lot of fun talking to
(22:41):
you guys today. Oh, this could be wrong, but who
cares. I hope you guys have a really,
really, really good week and I will see you next Thursday.
Bye bye.
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