August 29, 2025 • 14 mins
After waiting for as long as he could remember, Jerome finally moves away for university. Stepping into opportunity, he discuss how setting small or large goals can often be useless unless...
00:00 Moving to university!
02:30 The optimal version of you
06:04 How to format goals
08:48 Why this method is better
10:54 My experience
13:26 Closing
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hello, what is up crew? Welcome back to another episode
of Free to Grow with Jerome Ambaga.
Today we are in a new spot. We are in Dalhousie University,
which is where I will be attending university studying
medical science. And yesterday was my first day
(00:23):
and it was so, so, so much fun that I did not drop an episode,
but I did it on purpose. I did wish I said that.
I, I did wish I said that in theprevious episode, but I did not.
But anyways, yesterday was a very big day for me because I
(00:45):
had been looking forward to moving to university since like
the beginning of my life. Because my gosh, there's so much
noise outside. Hopefully you guys can't hear
that. But anyways, I've been looking
forward to moving to university for a super long time because
I've always seen it as as escapefrom all of like crazy stuff
(01:07):
going on in my family, in my house and stuff.
And so it was just so unbelievable that that they had
finally come, you know, because I, I had thought about yesterday
or or ever literally every single day.
If you want to know more about my back story, kind of go listen
to the first episode. There's so much lower drop there
(01:29):
and this will all make sense there.
But essentially, I happy cried for the first time ever in my
life. I thought that was only in the
movies. But yesterday morning I woke up
like back in Toronto and I was just so like happy.
And it was like a sense of big relief for me.
(01:52):
And the housie is definitely living up to the expectation.
I've met so many wonderful people.
I've made like a bunch of friends already.
I can't really remember other names if I'm going to be
completely honest, but I'm sure I'll get there.
I'm really liking my dorm also. It's pretty plain right now
because I don't have any postersor anything, but I'm sure I'll
(02:13):
go get some soon and decorate itup.
But this is the spot so far. I also don't have any bedding
because it's on the way. It's shipping here.
It's coming here, I think later today.
So that'd be good. But the point of this episode,
this episode's going to be very short.
(02:35):
But the point of this episode isthe importance of being ready
for that moment. And I think it's important for
me to talk about this because you guys actually don't
understand how long I have waited for yesterday.
It's like, almost like, like a prisoner, like counting down the
days until the end of the sentence, like I, it has not.
(02:57):
The thought of the day I move away from university has never
left my mind for a single day. I guarantee you every single day
of my life, I've thought about it.
And so it was really, it was a very big moment for me and that
happy crying really allowed me to like let go of a lot of like
(03:17):
stress I had in terms of like moving here and just a lot of
like built up emotions and trauma and all that kind of
stuff. It was just, it was super great.
So essentially I got here. I'm going to get back to the
main point, but let me give somecontext.
I flew out of Toronto yesterday morning, landed here, packed my
(03:38):
room up. My roommate hasn't gotten here
yet. I think he gets here today, so
I'm excited to meet him. So yeah, I packed my room up and
then I met a couple of friends just like outside and then in
the dining hall during dinner, Imet a couple of friends and then
there were a couple like events and stuff in the dorm.
(03:58):
There's like a lounge right across the hallway for me, so it
was a lot of fun. There are a lot of people in
there and it was a dude like a DJ set, which was pretty cool.
And then the rest of the night it was just a lot of fun.
It was just a lot of fun being my friends outside.
I've had so many people and I'm really excited, especially like
to hang out with them with in the daytime too, especially I'm
(04:21):
hanging out with them now. But for a majority of my life,
like the version of Jerome for amajority of my life, would not
be able to enjoy this experiencethe way I am, the way I'm doing
it right now. And frankly speaking, wouldn't
be able to enjoy this experiencea lot at all.
Because there's been versions ofme that have been like very just
(04:45):
like grumpy sad face or whateverand not really trying to have
fun. There's versions of me where I
was also very scared and just like straight up like insecure,
which is fine if you are no, no hater or anything.
But I just wouldn't have been able to appreciate this moment.
And that was something I didn't realize for a very long time
because I'd start thinking aboutmoving away from university,
(05:09):
like since the very beginning oftime in like kindergarten.
And I only started thinking about how I want to actually
live in university. I want to say around grade ten,
grade 10 is when I realized, OK,I'm at a spot here.
And also grade 10 is following. I'm pretty sure maybe that's
(05:31):
grade 9 following my story from Coburg where I almost took my
own life for here more goes intothe first episode.
Anyways, it was in that moment where I decided to live and all
that kind of stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, where it
wasn't just about looking at goals into the future.
(05:53):
It was more about, OK, once I get to these goals, how am I
actually going to appreciate them?
It doesn't have to be something as big as like moving away to
university. It could be just like the
simplest example. The simplest example, the way
they put it is like, let's say atest right in school, you say,
oh, I really want to get like over a 90 on this test.
(06:14):
I really want to get X percent on this test.
Saying that doesn't really do anything.
And even if you do like, even ifyou do study, even if let's say
you study, you grind it all out,you're amazing everything and
you're ready. If you don't like sleep the
night before or you don't eat breakfast the day of, you're
(06:35):
probably not going to do very well on the test, maybe not as
well as you could have. And so that's the point.
I'm just trying to say that as much as it is important to focus
on your goals and have long term, it's also important to
remember sorry to think about the kind of person you want to
be once you get there so that you can fully appreciate it.
(06:58):
Because at least for me, going through a very beautiful
experience and feeling like I didn't appreciate it enough is
really not a feeling I like or enjoy very much.
It's human and they're definitely different.
Like like what's it called levels to it?
I think it's like a normal levelof you feel like you didn't
appreciate things sometimes. But like when it's like to an
(07:19):
extreme or not to there's above average where you're just like,
wow, I was kind of just like madall the time.
Why was I doing that kind of thing, you know?
And so whatever thing you have coming up, whether that be
tomorrow or in a year's time or wherever, just I encourage you
to sit back once again, look into yourself, analyze yourself
(07:44):
and be like, OK, if I were to have this job or if I were to go
on like this vacation, right? Let's say vacation, that's a
good example. If I were to go on this
vacation, let's say I want to golike Australia and I want to go
scuba diving. That sounds super cool.
Have I like, am I really in a place where like if I were to be
going with friends, I would be sociable enough to like enjoy it
(08:07):
with them and I wouldn't get like mad at them all the time?
Would I be like athletic enough or fit enough to actually enjoy
the scuba diving trip? Like all these factors where you
can't just focus on the goal. You also need to focus on how
you are going to be once you arethere.
And then once you decide the person you want to be once
(08:28):
you're in the situation place wherever, start working towards
that. And that's how you fill up your
time. If you are bored and you have,
then you feel like you just likewant to do something.
You don't know where to start. That's where you start.
If you have a goal and you don't100% know how to chase it, just
envision the type of person you want to be once you attain that
(08:51):
goal and then start working towards that person rather than
towards that thing. And I feel like that is better
because when you are, you can never go wrong.
Like promise, you can never go wrong on trying to improve
yourself. It doesn't even matter if like
you are trying to improve yourself.
So you can like go scuba diving in Australia and then turns out
(09:14):
you hate scuba diving. You're not, you're not going to
go wrong because the improvements that you took away
from that journey are priceless and I'm sure they'll apply to
other things. Where you will go wrong is if
you decide to like stock up yourmoney and not spend on anything
because you're saving for this trip to Australia to go scuba
diving and you get there, you just can't appreciate it because
(09:38):
for whatever reason you can't appreciate it.
You're just not being happy. You don't like scuba diving at
all. You didn't train for it, like
you're not built for it, anything like that.
It's not worth it. And so along the way, let's say,
let's say, for example, for my trip, for my scuba dive, I don't
even know why I came up with this example, but for my scuba
(09:59):
diving trip to Australia, let's say I know I'm the type of
person where when I go on trips,I'm not the type of person.
But hypothetically, if I go on trips with people, I tend to get
really grumpy if I'm like in close quarters with them, right?
If this just say this trip is like in the summer, right?
So I have like 8 months, 10 months to get trained up for
(10:19):
this. If I spend the rest of the year
trying to like not be as emotionally volatile, you know,
and try and train myself athletically for the scuba
diving trip in Australia and then the trip suddenly gets
cancelled or I just decide I don't want to go scuba diving
anymore, it is a win. It is a win because I came out a
(10:44):
more emotionally stable person, more fit person.
That's wins all around. You cannot lose trying to
improve yourself. You cannot lose.
And so that personally relates to my journey because I did not
know I was going to go to Dalhousie University.
And it wasn't necessarily in my mind until I want to say like
(11:07):
the the past year, there were other schools that I've been
thinking about for like a reallylong time, but Dalhousie kind of
came out of the blue. But I'm so happy.
I, I, I came here because initially I really, really,
really wanted McGill because McGill is McGill.
It's very, it's very cool. It's very fun, very like
academically, procedures and allthat kind of stuff.
Really cool school. And so for training myself in
(11:28):
order to like be like in order to get into McGill, I was trying
to focus on my studies. I was just going to become like
a bit more of an outgoing person, more like friendly kind
of thing and just more centered in my life overall while also
having a bunch of different hobbies.
So I could be like a cool person.
Did I end up going to McGill? No Am I happy that I did not end
(11:49):
up going to McGill? Yes, I can fully confidently say
yes I am. Don't know why, but I just
really, really really like DAO. I really like where I am.
Classes haven't started yet, butI feel like I'm just going to
love it. And I just feel like where I am,
where I need to be kind of thing.
(12:09):
And so I did not end up going toMcGill, but the improvement I
took along that journey allowed me to be like an open minded
person, which has allowed me to experience DAO to the fullest
and have an amazing that's called first day of freedom, if
you will. So that's all I have to yap
about this Thursday. Sorry this Friday, actually.
(12:31):
Sorry about the delay guys. I just really wanted to soak up
yesterday because I've literallylike I'm telling you guys, it
was so fun and I it I have been waiting for that my moving away
(12:52):
for like forever. And happy crying is honestly a
very big thing for me because I don't really cry at all and not
really in like a macho way or whatever, but just because of
like the way I grew up and how Iconstantly, constantly suppress
my emotions and I wasn't really allowed to cry.
I can't really cry. Like if I end up crying, like I
(13:13):
have to be like from a pain if Ibreak my leg or something.
But I haven't cried in like manyyears.
So to happy cry. That was that was a big one.
That was a big one. So yeah, your boys having a lot
of fun out here. I hope you guys are having a lot
of fun wherever you guys are andliving life and being you guys.
(13:38):
And yeah. So I will see you guys next
Thursday. Follow a comment like subscribe
Horshebang on whatever platform you're using and welcome to the
new space. It's almost like a new season
Halifax edition. So thank you guys for tuning in
(14:00):
and I'll see you next Thursday. Bye bye.
Hello, what is up crew? Welcome back to another episode
of Free to Grow with Jerome Ambaga.
Today we are in a new spot. We are in Dalhousie University,
which is where I will be attending university studying
medical science. And yesterday was my first day
(00:23):
and it was so, so, so much fun that I did not drop an episode,
but I did it on purpose. I did wish I said that.
I, I did wish I said that in theprevious episode, but I did not.
But anyways, yesterday was a very big day for me because I
(00:45):
had been looking forward to moving to university since like
the beginning of my life. Because my gosh, there's so much
noise outside. Hopefully you guys can't hear
that. But anyways, I've been looking
forward to moving to university for a super long time because
I've always seen it as as escapefrom all of like crazy stuff
(01:07):
going on in my family, in my house and stuff.
And so it was just so unbelievable that that they had
finally come, you know, because I, I had thought about yesterday
or or ever literally every single day.
If you want to know more about my back story, kind of go listen
to the first episode. There's so much lower drop there
(01:29):
and this will all make sense there.
But essentially, I happy cried for the first time ever in my
life. I thought that was only in the
movies. But yesterday morning I woke up
like back in Toronto and I was just so like happy.
And it was like a sense of big relief for me.
(01:52):
And the housie is definitely living up to the expectation.
I've met so many wonderful people.
I've made like a bunch of friends already.
I can't really remember other names if I'm going to be
completely honest, but I'm sure I'll get there.
I'm really liking my dorm also. It's pretty plain right now
because I don't have any postersor anything, but I'm sure I'll
(02:13):
go get some soon and decorate itup.
But this is the spot so far. I also don't have any bedding
because it's on the way. It's shipping here.
It's coming here, I think later today.
So that'd be good. But the point of this episode,
this episode's going to be very short.
(02:35):
But the point of this episode isthe importance of being ready
for that moment. And I think it's important for
me to talk about this because you guys actually don't
understand how long I have waited for yesterday.
It's like, almost like, like a prisoner, like counting down the
days until the end of the sentence, like I, it has not.
(02:57):
The thought of the day I move away from university has never
left my mind for a single day. I guarantee you every single day
of my life, I've thought about it.
And so it was really, it was a very big moment for me and that
happy crying really allowed me to like let go of a lot of like
(03:17):
stress I had in terms of like moving here and just a lot of
like built up emotions and trauma and all that kind of
stuff. It was just, it was super great.
So essentially I got here. I'm going to get back to the
main point, but let me give somecontext.
I flew out of Toronto yesterday morning, landed here, packed my
(03:38):
room up. My roommate hasn't gotten here
yet. I think he gets here today, so
I'm excited to meet him. So yeah, I packed my room up and
then I met a couple of friends just like outside and then in
the dining hall during dinner, Imet a couple of friends and then
there were a couple like events and stuff in the dorm.
(03:58):
There's like a lounge right across the hallway for me, so it
was a lot of fun. There are a lot of people in
there and it was a dude like a DJ set, which was pretty cool.
And then the rest of the night it was just a lot of fun.
It was just a lot of fun being my friends outside.
I've had so many people and I'm really excited, especially like
to hang out with them with in the daytime too, especially I'm
(04:21):
hanging out with them now. But for a majority of my life,
like the version of Jerome for amajority of my life, would not
be able to enjoy this experiencethe way I am, the way I'm doing
it right now. And frankly speaking, wouldn't
be able to enjoy this experiencea lot at all.
Because there's been versions ofme that have been like very just
(04:45):
like grumpy sad face or whateverand not really trying to have
fun. There's versions of me where I
was also very scared and just like straight up like insecure,
which is fine if you are no, no hater or anything.
But I just wouldn't have been able to appreciate this moment.
And that was something I didn't realize for a very long time
because I'd start thinking aboutmoving away from university,
(05:09):
like since the very beginning oftime in like kindergarten.
And I only started thinking about how I want to actually
live in university. I want to say around grade ten,
grade 10 is when I realized, OK,I'm at a spot here.
And also grade 10 is following. I'm pretty sure maybe that's
(05:31):
grade 9 following my story from Coburg where I almost took my
own life for here more goes intothe first episode.
Anyways, it was in that moment where I decided to live and all
that kind of stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, where it
wasn't just about looking at goals into the future.
(05:53):
It was more about, OK, once I get to these goals, how am I
actually going to appreciate them?
It doesn't have to be something as big as like moving away to
university. It could be just like the
simplest example. The simplest example, the way
they put it is like, let's say atest right in school, you say,
oh, I really want to get like over a 90 on this test.
(06:14):
I really want to get X percent on this test.
Saying that doesn't really do anything.
And even if you do like, even ifyou do study, even if let's say
you study, you grind it all out,you're amazing everything and
you're ready. If you don't like sleep the
night before or you don't eat breakfast the day of, you're
(06:35):
probably not going to do very well on the test, maybe not as
well as you could have. And so that's the point.
I'm just trying to say that as much as it is important to focus
on your goals and have long term, it's also important to
remember sorry to think about the kind of person you want to
be once you get there so that you can fully appreciate it.
(06:58):
Because at least for me, going through a very beautiful
experience and feeling like I didn't appreciate it enough is
really not a feeling I like or enjoy very much.
It's human and they're definitely different.
Like like what's it called levels to it?
I think it's like a normal levelof you feel like you didn't
appreciate things sometimes. But like when it's like to an
(07:19):
extreme or not to there's above average where you're just like,
wow, I was kind of just like madall the time.
Why was I doing that kind of thing, you know?
And so whatever thing you have coming up, whether that be
tomorrow or in a year's time or wherever, just I encourage you
to sit back once again, look into yourself, analyze yourself
(07:44):
and be like, OK, if I were to have this job or if I were to go
on like this vacation, right? Let's say vacation, that's a
good example. If I were to go on this
vacation, let's say I want to golike Australia and I want to go
scuba diving. That sounds super cool.
Have I like, am I really in a place where like if I were to be
going with friends, I would be sociable enough to like enjoy it
(08:07):
with them and I wouldn't get like mad at them all the time?
Would I be like athletic enough or fit enough to actually enjoy
the scuba diving trip? Like all these factors where you
can't just focus on the goal. You also need to focus on how
you are going to be once you arethere.
And then once you decide the person you want to be once
(08:28):
you're in the situation place wherever, start working towards
that. And that's how you fill up your
time. If you are bored and you have,
then you feel like you just likewant to do something.
You don't know where to start. That's where you start.
If you have a goal and you don't100% know how to chase it, just
envision the type of person you want to be once you attain that
(08:51):
goal and then start working towards that person rather than
towards that thing. And I feel like that is better
because when you are, you can never go wrong.
Like promise, you can never go wrong on trying to improve
yourself. It doesn't even matter if like
you are trying to improve yourself.
So you can like go scuba diving in Australia and then turns out
(09:14):
you hate scuba diving. You're not, you're not going to
go wrong because the improvements that you took away
from that journey are priceless and I'm sure they'll apply to
other things. Where you will go wrong is if
you decide to like stock up yourmoney and not spend on anything
because you're saving for this trip to Australia to go scuba
diving and you get there, you just can't appreciate it because
(09:38):
for whatever reason you can't appreciate it.
You're just not being happy. You don't like scuba diving at
all. You didn't train for it, like
you're not built for it, anything like that.
It's not worth it. And so along the way, let's say,
let's say, for example, for my trip, for my scuba dive, I don't
even know why I came up with this example, but for my scuba
(09:59):
diving trip to Australia, let's say I know I'm the type of
person where when I go on trips,I'm not the type of person.
But hypothetically, if I go on trips with people, I tend to get
really grumpy if I'm like in close quarters with them, right?
If this just say this trip is like in the summer, right?
So I have like 8 months, 10 months to get trained up for
(10:19):
this. If I spend the rest of the year
trying to like not be as emotionally volatile, you know,
and try and train myself athletically for the scuba
diving trip in Australia and then the trip suddenly gets
cancelled or I just decide I don't want to go scuba diving
anymore, it is a win. It is a win because I came out a
(10:44):
more emotionally stable person, more fit person.
That's wins all around. You cannot lose trying to
improve yourself. You cannot lose.
And so that personally relates to my journey because I did not
know I was going to go to Dalhousie University.
And it wasn't necessarily in my mind until I want to say like
(11:07):
the the past year, there were other schools that I've been
thinking about for like a reallylong time, but Dalhousie kind of
came out of the blue. But I'm so happy.
I, I, I came here because initially I really, really,
really wanted McGill because McGill is McGill.
It's very, it's very cool. It's very fun, very like
academically, procedures and allthat kind of stuff.
Really cool school. And so for training myself in
(11:28):
order to like be like in order to get into McGill, I was trying
to focus on my studies. I was just going to become like
a bit more of an outgoing person, more like friendly kind
of thing and just more centered in my life overall while also
having a bunch of different hobbies.
So I could be like a cool person.
Did I end up going to McGill? No Am I happy that I did not end
(11:49):
up going to McGill? Yes, I can fully confidently say
yes I am. Don't know why, but I just
really, really really like DAO. I really like where I am.
Classes haven't started yet, butI feel like I'm just going to
love it. And I just feel like where I am,
where I need to be kind of thing.
(12:09):
And so I did not end up going toMcGill, but the improvement I
took along that journey allowed me to be like an open minded
person, which has allowed me to experience DAO to the fullest
and have an amazing that's called first day of freedom, if
you will. So that's all I have to yap
about this Thursday. Sorry this Friday, actually.
(12:31):
Sorry about the delay guys. I just really wanted to soak up
yesterday because I've literallylike I'm telling you guys, it
was so fun and I it I have been waiting for that my moving away
(12:52):
for like forever. And happy crying is honestly a
very big thing for me because I don't really cry at all and not
really in like a macho way or whatever, but just because of
like the way I grew up and how Iconstantly, constantly suppress
my emotions and I wasn't really allowed to cry.
I can't really cry. Like if I end up crying, like I
(13:13):
have to be like from a pain if Ibreak my leg or something.
But I haven't cried in like manyyears.
So to happy cry. That was that was a big one.
That was a big one. So yeah, your boys having a lot
of fun out here. I hope you guys are having a lot
of fun wherever you guys are andliving life and being you guys.
(13:38):
And yeah. So I will see you guys next
Thursday. Follow a comment like subscribe
Horshebang on whatever platform you're using and welcome to the
new space. It's almost like a new season
Halifax edition. So thank you guys for tuning in
(14:00):
and I'll see you next Thursday. Bye bye.
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