December 18, 2024 • 56 mins
Ho Ho Ho and Welcome everybody to the first of our 8 or 9, maybe 10? Crazy Nights of Christmas! The Fried Rice Podcast crew have overloaded their brains with Christmas magic and now it's time to share! Tonight we are discussing the classic stop-motion movie "The Nightmare Before Christmas"
Join us every night this week as we re-watch some of our favorites and discover a couple of new favorites!
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(don't worry, Andy isn't sitting in his room, waiting by his phone like it's the 90s, just fiddling with the long chord, watching "Nightmare of Elm St"...)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's a fried rice Christmas, ho ho ho
(00:07):
Ho ho ho
What's this? What's this? It's Andy in the Air. What's this? It's fried rice everywhere. What's this?
It's Brennan and Mike and it's 8 crazy nights of Christmas. Oh my, what's this?
Why this is the nightmare before Christmas Andy. Yes it is and welcome everybody. Ho ho ho
(00:34):
It's another 8 crazy nights of
Christmas with Fried Rice podcast. I'm your host, Kidnap Andy Claus
And with me as always it's Brennan
Oh shit I can't remember another song from this movie. I just watched
Brennan, oh, this is Brennan Shipley, this is Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley
(01:04):
Up to Boston. Hello everybody
We have Michael Oogie Boogie. No, Pumpkin King. Oh, the pumpkin king, Larson
Everybody. I'll give you that one and welcome to, yeah this is another 8 or 9 or 10 crazy nights
(01:26):
I was about to say how many nights of these, how many of these Christmas ones have we done so far?
Yeah, quite a bit, quite a bit. I'm looking currently at our schedule for December and there's at least 20 things highlighted
So, you know our 8 crazy nights of Christmas
Yeah, so welcome. We are reviewing of course The Nightmare Before Christmas
(01:48):
You can look up the IMDB if you want to see who it's directed by and all that shit. We don't care, we're just going to talk about the movie
Oh, I did think it was kind of interesting. I always thought it was directed by Tim Burton
It's not a Tim Burton. It's produced. I said that to Mike the other day because he's like, oh and I like Tim Burton
I was like, yeah, but he only produces it. I know. He doesn't direct it
I was reading the facts on that and I'm like, that's fucking crazy
Like, you know, they have this argument, him and the director, like they have this kind of like whose project was it?
(02:14):
You know, when Tim Burton was only there like four or five times in the three years that it took him to make this
He was busy making something else at the time
And Tim Burton has the argument with this guy?
Kind of, like they have, not like an argument but like
Or people making the argument
People make the argument
It's not Tim Burton saying it's my movie
Like Tim Burton's like, yeah, he gives Tim Burton the credit for creating the characters
(02:38):
At least, you know, the main characters writing the poem that inspired it
The original drawings and things like that
But they were the ones that like worked so hard on it for three years
That's cool. When I went to, so it's interesting you say that
Because I went to the, so the LACMA, the LA County Museum of Arts
Which is next to the Brea Tar Pit
(03:00):
So if you're ever in LA, that's a good double combo
You get to see the famous Brea Tar Pits
Which are really cool to look at because they're actual tar pits, right?
And then you go to LACMA and the one I went to had a Tim Burton exhibit
And you got to see the Batman costume
You got to see Jack Skellington little heads
Like the actual ones they used for the production inside a glass case
(03:23):
But there was like 20 of them with all the different expressions like him talking and shit
Which is really cool
You got to, and then when you went into like
You got to see the inspiration for Nightmare Before Christmas
And then there's a weird, because they did a really big exhibit for him
You go into a room and it was like all the childhood Tim Burton stuff
And he made some like crazy fucking drawings
(03:46):
So if you're a parent out there
And you've got a kid just making silly monster drawings or whatever
You could have the next Tim Burton on your hands, you never know
So Mike, this is your first time watching the Nightmare Before Christmas ever
First time
Did you think, like everyone thinks that the claymation is just absolutely next level, top tier?
(04:09):
Well, I did when I first saw it and then I realized this is not claymation
It's stop motion, it's puppets
Yeah
Well, okay, when I, yeah, sorry
When I say claymation, that's always been, you're right
It's like calling a tissue, a piece of tissue paper a Kleenex
It's a brand
I know that claymation is its own thing
(04:30):
It's clay that you're moving, that you're using stop motion photography as a way to make it
So in my mind, every time I think of anything that's produced with stop motion
That requires puppets or clay or whatever
Because there absolutely was clay in this
They used clay to make the faces, some of it, right?
They had to have used some modeling clay to make some stuff, whatever
(04:51):
But then also all the little shit that they made, I'm sure is practical
Like little glass vials for the scientist guy and all that stuff
So in my mind, when I say claymation, I only mean it as a catch-all for stop motion, stop motion movies
Which again, isn't correct, and I know that
So if I were to reach
I was expecting claymation when I started watching it
(05:12):
I was like, well, I remembered, I mean, I'd seen, like I said, scenes from it before and stuff
But never really thought about it
But then when I started watching it, I was like, these don't look like clay
How are they doing this in clay?
Because you had told me claymation before
And I was like, these don't appear to be clay
So then I had to do a deep dive and I went and watched like a making of
(05:33):
There's a making of on YouTube that's incredible
That shows how they did it and the removable heads and all the stuff that they did on these puppets
And there's actually a picture of a
I mean, there's like, I took a bunch of screenshots of it
Like, they're about this tall little puppets
They almost look like Randy Ice
Only this head pops off and they put a different head on to make expressions
(05:56):
Yeah
A bunch of times
And it's like, and so then I went on a deep dive and I was like, wow, this had to take forever to make
Three years
Three and a half years
129,000 shots
It was like what, like 30 minutes for like one second?
Yeah, it's insane
Like, there's something like crazy like that
Yeah, that's insane
So when I did a claymation, an actual with clay claymation
(06:20):
For a high school class and it was shit
It looked cool, but it wasn't nearly as fluid, right?
Like obviously
You guys shoot so many frames per second
And we didn't have the high quality
Exactly
We were literally just taking pictures and then throwing them into a movie
Right
Like they had cameras they were taking
(06:41):
Almost like a flip book
Yeah, but digital
It makes it like actually puts, yeah, but it's still a little janky, right?
Right
So yeah, this is insane
The technology is insane
It reminds me of, well, two things come to mind
Robot Chicken uses similar techniques because those are dolls
Right
And it uses like, but I think that also has to use a lot more digital stuff
(07:05):
It's got to
I was thinking about that if you were to remake this today, would you just do it all digitally?
They would because they did with Corpse Bride
Paranorman, Paranorman they actually did it a lot like this
Because Paranorman was a stop motion with dolls as well
That's right, and Paranorman's amazing
It's great
If you haven't seen Paranorman, that's another one
It's not Tim Burton though
It's, actually shit, it might be produced by him
(07:28):
No, because he did Frankenweenie
He did, okay, so he did Frankenweenie
I think Paranorman was a different guy, I think
Because it's also not the same style of character, similar
Similar, yeah
But very good
I remember, I haven't seen that in so long
I watched that in theaters, I liked it a lot
But Robot Chicken and
What's the other one that, oh
Celebrity Deathmatch
(07:49):
Now that, I think that was Clay
That was absolutely Clay, that was hilarious
And also Janky
But they also had dolls too
Like, it was weird because I don't think
It was like a combination
I don't think every one of them was Clay
I think they used Clay as their effects
So like, I think like when someone needed to, you know, like then they would
For certain things, but I think they had dolls because
(08:11):
I remember an ex-girlfriend of mine
Worked with the guy who created
Celebrity Deathmatch, they were pulling out old
Like, figures for, from it
So, to like dust off and stuff
I also saw a documentary where they were restoring
The Jack Skellington, the, like, one of the dolls
One of the puppets that they have
(08:32):
It's been so long now, and it's like
Age and stuff
Even no matter how you preserve it
Gets to things, so they have to like go in and like
Very delicately with like
You know, like tiny little tweezers
And little brushes, like take care of him
Like put new, like, veneer on him or whatever to keep him
Fresh
Fresh, for as long as you can
(08:53):
So, let's get into it
First off, we get the
It opens with the trees
Which is, I think, the most interesting part of the whole universe of
Nightmare Before Christmas
Well, we were actually talking, they could have made all the different
They could have made sequels to this, it would have been great
Yeah, of course, yeah, and I think that's been discussed
Just by doing the different trees
(09:15):
Just like going to a different tree
I think, right now
They thought about doing it, and they decided not to
They decided against it
Which one? Tim Burton says absolutely no
Never a sequel
Yeah, he's like, this movie was perfect
Yeah, he's like, no
And I see that thought process, especially artists, they don't want it
Yeah
No, but here's, I get
(09:37):
You don't want to muddy the waters
I get that
At the same time
You want more
At the same time, why not give the guy that made this
The first one
Give him $10 million to do a
Well, no, no, to do a three minute Disney
No, no, no, that's what I'm saying
To do a three minute Disney follow Zero around
(09:59):
Just give us a little Zero story
It doesn't have to fuck with the continuity
There's some shorts
Like some shorts
How about what happened to Zero after Jack went in the tree
Because Zero's outside the tree
Maybe he, maybe another door opens
Seriously, they make it like those little scratch
You know, they have the little scratch ones they put before the movies
Or like the little Groots, yeah, the like little Groots
(10:20):
I thought they did do something with Zero
Like some sort of short or something like that with Zero back in the day
I could have sworn there was some sort of like story with Zero like going around
Doing something
I just incepted that memory into your brain
Maybe
With just how good of an idea it was
I think you're just literally going, oh yeah, that sounds amazing
But then again, maybe I'm remembering a short
(10:41):
And thinking it's my own original idea
I thought it was like him going around the graveyard
Kind of like just kind of looking for Jack
Because he was just kind of sad
Maybe, now that you're saying it, that does sound somewhat familiar
That could be a thing
It could be a thing
Well, in the comments, put below if we are remembering something
Or if I'm so good
Mandela effect
Yeah, the Mandela effect
(11:02):
Or if you're from the alternate timeline that didn't get that version
If you're from the same timeline as us
So there was St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Halloween are the holidays
What a weird fucking grove of trees that is
Fucking two of them are explicitly Christian holidays
So Christ has to be involved with Easter and Christmas
(11:27):
Easter, yes, Christmas is not Christmas
I've always had this argument though with Christmas
Because Christmas was a pagan holiday
That Christians took over
I'll give you
Easter was a
Easter was? I didn't know Easter
Easter was a, it's about fertility
But I don't think the people who, no, no, but here's the thing
(11:48):
The Easter represented by the Easter Bunny
Well, he had an egg on it, it was an egg
I know, but that version of Easter
Easter Bunny, Easter egg is the resurrection of Christ Easter
I think whatever
See, I thought the eggs came into play for
What the hell does the bunny have to do with it?
Yeah, the bunny and the eggs both had to do with the fertility
(12:11):
Oh, fertility is the bunny
I just wondered why it was a bunny
But what I'm saying, because it's Easter, right? Easter Bunny
But why?
I don't know why they picked a bunny
And it could be because of fertility
I thought that's what it was
I'm sure that's the history behind it
But what I'm saying is if you explicitly make an Easter door on your Easter tree
And you put a decorated Easter egg
(12:34):
You're going modern contemporary Easter
You're going middle class white America Easter
Is what you're doing by painting eggs on the door or whatever
You're going this is Christ died, was resurrected Easter that we're now celebrating by dying eggs
This was the 90s
It's just weird to think about anyway
(12:55):
Yeah, it's weird
The whole thing's weird
Plus, then Christmas again, pagan holiday that the Christians repurposed into
We're going to now say that Jesus was born on the 25th
We already arbitrarily picked that day and we'll just celebrate it
Which is fine, and you could do that, Christians
But what a weird
Thanksgiving is a holiday that
(13:19):
Also a weird holiday
Straight American
It's straight up American values
Plus, what are we celebrating with Thanksgiving?
Because we know that the
It's all lies
The Native Americans didn't
Thanksgiving is 100% lies
There wasn't a huge feast with turkey
It was smallpox
There was smallpox blankets and fucking shots
(13:42):
So that's a weird
If you go into Thanksgiving world
What are you celebrating?
That's probably where it becomes like one of those
It's cowboys and Indians
That'd be hilarious though if they did that
It'd be pilgrims and Indians
And what the fuck are pilgrims known for besides killing Native Americans?
It's worshipping Jesus
(14:03):
That's their whole thing
That's three Jesus-centric holidays if you ask me
Now, Halloween is its own thing
There should have been a lot more Mexican Day of the Dead stuff in this
It's shocking that there wasn't a single sugar skull
That there wasn't a single sombrero-wearing guy
There wasn't like
(14:24):
I would have even taken a
Didn't age well, slightly racist
As long as they kept some representation of
Day of the Dead
Because I know that it was the 90s
They probably would have fucked that up
It would have been a Speedy Gonzalez
But I still would have wanted something
Because it's weird that they just cut that out
They covered a lot of Halloween stuff
(14:47):
And they just
And then St. Patrick's Day
Fucking St. Patrick's Day
Get drunk
Now that would be the stereotypical answer, right?
Well, there was one with the firework on it too
Fourth of July
I didn't see the firework one
Okay, so Fourth of July
It's an American-centric
Because it was Fourth of July
(15:09):
It was Fourth of July or there was an English holiday
That's also kind of similar
Listen
Thanksgiving is on this
It's not the English whatever you're thinking
No, I know
But they were saying that
Guy Fawkes Day?
What?
Guy Fawkes Day?
Where they tried to blow up Parliament?
Not Guy Fawkes Day
It's
The 5th of November
November
Remember the 5th of November?
(15:30):
Yeah
Goddamn
V for Vendetta
Really did a good job at teaching us
A random British history fact
Yeah
Just good job V for Vendetta
I do want to just point out just before I forget
That if you watch this on Disney Plus
There's a ton of cool extras in there
Extra content?
(15:51):
Yeah
Okay
Thank you
Because I did watch this on Disney Plus
And there's a shitload of things I did not remember ever watching on it
So this must be the extended cut
Yeah, but there's also extras below that
If you go down and look at the extras
There's also a bunch of extras
I didn't see that
Is there anything with Zero?
A little short with Zero?
No, there's a couple of shorts with Oogie Boogie that were cut out
(16:14):
There were some cut scenes
Yeah, deleted scenes
Yeah, like the drawing board scenes
I think our friend Zach would be remiss of us if we didn't mention that
Nightmare Before Christmas is a fully playable world in the Kingdom Hearts series
So if you're unfamiliar with the Kingdom Hearts series
It's a really fun blend
(16:35):
It's a Disney game where you play as a kid who teams up with Goofy and Donald to try to find King Mickey
And then you team up with Final Fantasy characters
So it's kind of a fun thing
So because it's Disney, you go to all these different worlds
One of them being Nightmare Before Christmas
It's super cool
It has all the music
You fight Oogie Boogie
You team up with Jack
(16:57):
Your characters become monsters when you show up there
You look like Halloween people
It's very well done
There's also, I think, the Nightmare Before Christmas game
And I think it was really bad
I think people hated it
And it had some weird stretchy mechanic for Jack that people just didn't understand
Like a PlayStation 2 game?
It felt like a PlayStation 2
(17:19):
I think I have a PlayStation 2
So weird collection of holidays
Don't know who created this grove of trees
I don't know how the trees work, by the way
So you go into the tree to get to Halloween Town
How do you get out?
You walk out of Halloween Town back to the grove
Because Jack left Halloween Town and walked out to the grove
(17:43):
So how does that tree work?
The tree takes you...
Magic, Andy
I don't...
Magic!
Halloween magic
They didn't once establish that that's the case with this
That there's some sort of teleportation magic at play
But whatever, okay
So we got both Christ...
So we got all the Christ holidays
St. Patrick's, I did put it's American drinking holiday
(18:04):
So if we're Americanizing it, yeah
You do go in there and you're drunk by the time you get out the other side
British Bonfire Night, that's what it was called
I'm sure that's what it was
So sorry, it was St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween
And then British Bonfire Night was the...
Let me just cross off 4th of July here
British Bonfire Night
British Bonfire Night
(18:26):
There we go
Celebrated famously on...
I don't know
Oh, okay, well shit
Just a firework
British Isles, just fireworks
When I went to France, it was their Independence Day
Which is obviously a different day than ours
But what they do is...
So we're in south of France, like middle, maybe middle of France
(18:50):
And we're at this rooftop party at the hostel that we were at
It was awesome
We were a bunch of just random people from all over the place
And we all smelled burning, like rubber in the air
And they told us, the locals are like, well yeah, it's Bastille Day
It's like Bastille Day, they'll light your car on fire if you leave it out
I'm like, what?
It's like, yeah, if you park your car out on the street, they're going to light that shit on fire
(19:14):
I'm like, why?
It's like, we celebrated Independence
I'm like, what?
By burning cars?
Then I had some more beers and I forgot all about it
I just had a burning rubber
I'm glad I don't have a car here
Exactly, I was like, fuck it, I'm going by train
Let's go light a car on fire, it's okay
Shit, I should have
You should have, why didn't you?
Damn it, why didn't I light a car on fire?
(19:35):
I wasn't prepared
One chance
I wasn't
You know what?
You're being an American
I don't think you're allowed to
Light cars on fire
So I'm sure if I were caught, I would still very much be arrested
You're just like, what?
They said we can't
It's a holiday
We're independent
I thought this was America
Yeah
I thought this was America, Fritz
He thought this was Fritz
(19:56):
I thought this was Fritz
I thought this was Fritz
So, yeah, okay
So, oh, we get the opening song
It's fine, we get introduced to everybody
Oogie Boogie has a part in their town song
That they're all collaboratively singing together
So Oogie Boogie is a functioning member and part of this Halloween town
(20:21):
I don't know why he's billed to be the bad guy
At not one point in this movie do I think Oogie Boogie is any more or less evil than anybody else in Halloween town
And he's just doing literally what every other Halloween town resident does
Yeah, it's kind of weird that they make him out to be the bad guy
Well, the bad guy's Jack
Yeah
To me
He's ruining Christmas
(20:43):
He's also trying to impose his new religion on his
He's forcing it on
He's forcing his
He doesn't bother to ask a single person if they're going to celebrate Christmas
He forces his new religion on his followers
Although I do enjoy when he's explaining Christmas to the town people
And he's like, you know, and these toys, and they're like, well, what do they do?
(21:04):
Do they kill people? Do they maim them?
No, they're too fun
Yeah
They're like, oh, okay
Yeah
So I agree with you
Jack might be the villain
But you know what?
What perspective are we looking at this from?
Are we looking at it from, if we're looking at it from like the
(21:25):
An outside perspective
The denizens
Watching the movie
From an outside perspective to me, Jack is, he's the protagonist who's trying to
Hold on, let me pretend to be a human being watching a movie for a second
Because that's not how my brain works
You go in the movie, right?
I am one of the citizens of either Halloween town
I'm the, I'm a
You worship Jack in whatever he tells you you're going to do
(21:47):
I'm a landscaper for the grove of trees
That's what my job would be
Yeah, so okay
Yeah, I guess he, he would be a bad guy, I like that, that look, that outlook on it
Because he does, he leaves
He kidnaps Santa Claus, come on, of course he's a bad guy
He does kidnap Santa Claus
What are you talking about?
(22:08):
And what is with Santa Claus's hands? I'm sorry
The only thing in the whole animation, this whole movie
Was the hands that were so tiny on Santa Claus
I loved it, it was kind of, it was something
His feet were small too
His hands
I like it, it was everybody's hands and feet, I like
Except for Jack's
Yeah, I wonder if that's on purpose
Skeletonia probably
I highly recommend that you go on YouTube
(22:33):
And you rewatch, you type in Nightmare Before Christmas tool
And you watch the opening song
But they get rid of the audio and instead put a tool song on
That syncs up perfectly like Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd
It's a perfect sync, it is awesome
Or listen to Korn's Kidnap the Santa Claus
(22:54):
Oh yeah, there's an entire album, Mike, I don't know if you knew this
An entire album where they got
Jonathan Davis from Korn
They got Flyleaf, they got Fall Out Boy
They got literally all the big names from 15 years ago
To do covers of these songs
So every single one, What's This, Kidnap Santa Claus
They're all like
(23:15):
What about Oingo Boingo?
Do they do one? They might be
They should be because it's Danny Elfin
Yeah, it's Danny Elfin, so they should
Which the music in this is
Oh, the music's great, there's no
The score in this I love
On second or third or fourth, probably tenth watch now that I'm on
The songs, there's only a couple that I like
There's now more songs that I'm not a fan of
(23:38):
Than songs I am a fan of
And I am a fan of musicals
But one of my notes down here
I put
Oh, so I guess not every song is a banger
And that's Sally's fucking lament at the end or whatever
Like so fucking boring
But most of the songs are good
I think the tree with corpses
(23:59):
Still hanging from its branches was probably
Like maybe a little too much for kids
Well, that's why a lot of this movie's a little much for kids
Oogie Boogie's kind of scary for kids
I still haven't quite shown it to my kids
Like I was going to watch it with my five-year-old
You're just kidnapping Santa Claus in his sleep
It's a little traumatic for children
Or the kids that get snakes for presents, you know
Like the old
(24:21):
There's some traumatic stuff in here if you were a little kid
There is, yeah
All the female monsters want to fuck Jack
Yeah, I found that a little hot
That's another thing for kids, yes
When Jack leaves, you can hear the mayor saying
An award for the most blood-drained
And I was like, holy shit, that's dark
But then he says an honorable mention
(24:43):
Goes to the fabulous dark lagoon leeches
And I was like, I don't think I've ever heard that part
But it's like, that's fun
Honorable mention to the leeches
Honorable mention to the leeches
Yeah
I don't know who created the tree worlds
But why or how could a creature like Jack exist
Being unsatisfied with being a Halloween guy
(25:06):
So I'm imagining whatever God created Halloween world
Would make the people in Halloween world, the monsters
Like 99% of all the monsters we saw
Totally happy and fine being monsters and living in Halloween world
Why would Jack, even being introduced to something new
Like why wouldn't that like scare him
(25:28):
Like, you know, there should be safeguards at play
That was my surprise was that he wasn't scared at Christmas
That it was so different
That it would be off-putting not so different
That it would make him want to go to the
Yeah, that's a bit of a weird
But does it show him unsatisfied before he goes?
Yeah, that's right, he's unsatisfied
He's bored
He's bored
(25:49):
Okay, so, yeah, you know what?
Never mind, I take back my critique
I think it's fine
This is a good movie
Oh, but I don't like that he keeps singing about how he's the scariest monster
And that he's the best one
He was the king
He was their leader
But in his song he's like, I'm the scariest one
Like he says that he scares more people than anybody else
(26:11):
Well, because maybe he does, we don't see that
We do
Every time he blinks
We see
Every time he blinks
No, but we see him do a scary face to the three trick-or-treaters
When he's telling them to kidnap Santa Claus
He says to them, he goes like
Or else, like, he does like a scary face
And I'm like, bro, that's not even close to being scary
Like compared to literally a tree running after you
(26:35):
That has corpses hanging from its branches
And it has a menacing face
That would scare the shit
If I walked outside and a tree was like, hello, Andy
And starts running at me and it has corpses
I would shit myself
Maybe there's a whole dark side to Jack Skellington
We don't know
Maybe he just makes the bodies disappear
Bro, I bet Jack Skellington
Fucks with, like, whoever he's scaring
Yeah
(26:56):
Like, it's a kid sleeping in the bed
And he's like looking at them
Like he does the real creepy shit that stays with you
So he's like
So when he gets back
They're just like, not a lot of screams this year, Jack
He's like, no, it'll pay off in therapy 20 years from now
Like, don't even worry about it
I've played a long game
I'll be thinking about that forever
I'm an immortal Halloween creature
I play the long game
(27:17):
I make little deposits here
That'll ruin people in the future
That's what makes him the best
Yeah
It does
Okay, sure
So he's just fucked up
Jack's fucked up
Yeah
The mayor humming
This is Halloween
It's kind of fun
I like that as he was going
Yeah
(27:38):
As he's, like, going up
I was like, I like that little callback
I always loved the mayor being two-faced
Yeah, two-faced mayor
Just the mayor even being the mayor
When Jack's really in charge
Yeah
It's kind of funny, too
He's not in charge of anything
Yeah, but he even sort of says
When Jack leaves, he's like,
Well, I'm just a figurehead or whatever
Yeah
But, and I know he is two-faced
And I know that's the joke
But his two faces aren't that dissimilar
(28:01):
No, they're the same
One's more frantic, I guess
One's more frantic
But they both are
Scared
They're not a bad character
Like, they're not anti-Jack at any point
No
I expected a two-faced, like, maybe the head to flip
And, like, now he's working with Oogie Boogie or something
Oh, yeah
To undermine Jack's attempt to make Christmas, right?
Yeah
Or maybe, you know what?
(28:23):
If Jack had made all the presents correct
And then they went through an Oogie Boogie factory
He fucked them all up before putting them in the bag
And then Jack was unknowingly fucking with kids
Or, like, scaring people as he was going through
Yeah, because Jack didn't really change
That would have made Oogie Boogie more of a bad guy
(28:44):
And Jack more of a good guy
It would have made Jack more sympathetic
Right
Instead, it's like, no
Instead, it just makes Jack ignorant to what Christmas is
Even though I've read and memorized every carol
I know all the rhymes
I know every single thing there is to know about Christmas
Except what presents to give
Except what
A wooden train does not mean a snake that's going to attack kids
(29:07):
You should know this
The Beetlejuice snake
Yeah, exactly
That actually did
That's what it was modeled after
You're fucking right
Because it's the same
It's Tim Burton's of all
So, yeah, shit
I thought it looked similar
So, yeah, how did Jack walk out of the tree?
Why didn't Zero go through the Christmas door
(29:28):
Since he is a ghost?
And why didn't anybody listen to Sally?
Yeah
Sally the whole time
The whole time she's the only smart one
Yeah, she's the only one
As usual, no one listens to women
If Austin were here, he would call her the C word and say it was her fault
So, I put what, okay, so during the What's This song
(29:57):
He, and I realized later this is probably just his ignorance
But he goes over to the elves sleeping and he goes
The children are asleep with like no worries in their
Like no nightmares in their head or whatever
Like those aren't children, those are elves
But also why are they, why are their elves just playing around?
(30:20):
I feel like Christmas is ramping up
Like I get that maybe Halloween just ended
Let the Halloween town citizens do their shit
They gotta work the night shift or something
They're sleeping for their shift
You know what I just keep thinking that they
You just got me to the main problem I have with this movie
I really do have an issue
Yeah, what?
(30:41):
I wrote it down just because I blame this movie for running Thanksgiving
Because it skips over it
Because, well not the movie itself, but the world does
Before this movie came out, literally
Yeah, you're preaching
In real life, before this movie came out
You would go to the store at Halloween
You get your Halloween shit
(31:02):
And then they take that shit down
And they put up some Thanksgiving shit
Yep, I remember that
And then they take down the Thanksgiving shit
After Thanksgiving
I miss those days
This movie came out and from that day forward
Every Christmas thing went out at Halloween
From this day, from the day this fucking movie came out
Well I think it started happening before that
Because that's what inspired Tim Burton to write the poem
(31:24):
No, this is 80, no
Yeah, he couldn't have
I was alive, I remember having Thanksgiving shit
They used to put like literally things to put on your table
Centerpieces, they had a whole Thanksgiving section at Walmart
Go to Walmart right now, no Thanksgiving at all
It's no Thanksgiving
But what he said that inspired him to write the poem that he wrote
That wrote this was watching them take down Halloween decorations
(31:45):
And put up Christmas decorations
But now they're doing them together, that's my point
Now they're doing it together, yeah
They're not even taken down
Thanksgiving's just gone
Thanksgiving doesn't even exist anymore
And it's Tim Burton's fault
Or the director
Well because, to lift the curtain a little bit
Because we've been doing some Christmas movies for quite a while
My wife is ready to put up the tree
And we are still in the beginning of November
(32:08):
And I'm not ready for that
I'm like give me my Thanksgiving
Where we put our tree is where our sides
We put an extra table up for sides, hors d'oeuvres
Thanksgiving table
Yeah, snacks leading up to the main meal
I have a Thanksgiving centerpiece to go on my table
Thank you very much
I plan on attending possibly both of your guys'
(32:29):
Thanksgivings again if I'm invited to Mike's
That was great last year
I double dipped
I had someone covered in baby urine
Hand me with their physical fingers, ham
But, okay, other than that
So I didn't get to try any ham at that one scenario
(32:54):
That was my main takeaway from this movie
I get that
They were on Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving should have some
But you know what, at the same time
Since we discussed it earlier
The meaning behind it
The meaning behind Thanksgiving is kind of bullshit
And maybe we should erase it a little bit from our culture
Because what are we celebrating?
We're celebrating
We celebrated as family holiday though
(33:16):
We don't really celebrate it as that
Nobody celebrates it as the origin
How do you think Native Americans feel about Thanksgiving?
Like do you think they get together and they're like
I don't know, that's a good question actually
Let's honor our debt
Let's honor the
It'll be like day of the dead for them
Yeah, shit, kind of is
Maybe the laugh at the end was a little sinister, Mike
But yeah, that was a good point you made
(33:37):
That was a good point you made so evilly
But yeah, it is
But yeah, holy shit
Because even a turkey gets a pardon from the president on Thanksgiving
Native Americans got nothing when we came over
Except genocide
Except entirely wiping them out
(33:58):
And I know this is now an unpopular opinion to have
Weirdly is that the new narrative going up through some circles is that
That it's good that we took over America
And that like we were doing a better job
I don't like that
I've heard that a few times now on YouTube
People going like
Well yeah, it's bullshit that we genocide into people
(34:19):
They were wiping each other out all the time
And we just came in and made things proper
I'm like, that is the wrong take, buddy
Wrong take, man
No, we annihilated, we wiped out people
Then we robbed Mexico of a shitload of land
I don't know, that's another thing too
We killed a bunch of Mexicans to get that bottom part of America
(34:41):
But it shaped better this way
That's just history in general
Yeah, it's the shape
It's shaped better
But then we didn't do anything wrong ever again after making the country
We worked very hard
Yeah, we didn't have slavery for hundreds of years
Oh, there we go, I forgot about slavery
(35:03):
There we go
And then also we're still segregated in some areas
Yeah, but according to Florida history books right now
According to Florida history books
This is legit, according to Florida history books, four children now
On their Prager U thing
Slaves didn't have it that bad
They lived productive lives and they learned valuable skills that helped them later on in life
(35:28):
I guess being slaves
American history starts at 9-11 now for kids
Oh, Jesus, 9-11 happened
And the Muslims are the bad ones
Nothing happened before that
Nothing bad happened before that
We were always good
Except for Jesus, I just said, sorry, that was another bad one
They killed Jesus, but yeah
Sorry, we're getting a little too
(35:49):
A little too something here
This is supposed to be my nightmare for Christmas
Someone put
We cannot do a kids movie and keep it to the genitals
It's impossible
Our kids movies are always our most innocent
It's impossible
One of those
So dumb
Our kids movies are literally always our most dirty
Our political
(36:11):
Our whatever
Always kids movies
One and two is three hours of film
Geez, I wonder why
There's a lyric
I peeked behind the cyclops eye
And I just put I bet he didn't like that
It was just a stupid joke I wrote for myself
But
Why did Jack
Or where did Jack get all those books
(36:33):
I guess maybe when he went
To a kidnaps place
He stole from them
They didn't show it
But he took them
That's right, okay
And then Jack
Maybe there was another tree that was a book
Library
That'd be cool
Library world
(36:55):
Page master
Page master
Was the dream
Do you remember page master, Mike?
Not as a dream, I was much older
I do not have
Fond memories of page master
Bro, it starts off live action
And then the color comes in so
Amazingly
What a great, you know what I remember that storm
(37:17):
So vividly
Him riding his bike
You sound like you're describing the wizard of Oz
He says the
Oh yeah, kind of
I remember that storm
The color comes in so vividly
The witch is my favorite
But I love it
They
That's so good
(37:39):
I love your idea
Way more, I'd much rather live in
Page master world
But
What I was thinking is
More like there's a
Kindle book that Stephen King wrote
Where
So when Kindle came out
The actual Kindle device
Stephen King wrote a short story for
(38:01):
Specifically just Kindle, exclusive to Kindle
About Kindle
And it's about a guy who
Orders, he gets a Kindle sent
To him
Which is funny because
Everyone else has the white Kindle
Or whatever, or the gray Kindle
Whatever Kindle was out, there's only one color
He got a pink one
And so everyone who sees his Kindle
(38:23):
Because again, this is right when it came out
They're like, holy shit, you have a different Kindle
But now you wouldn't think
Twice about it because tablets and whatever
You know if someone had a Kindle
Or if it's an iPad or whatever
So I always thought that was fun
But his Kindle lets him
Read books from
Anywhere in the multiverse
So you can type in Stephen King
(38:45):
For instance, and read
If Stephen King, if there was a multiverse
Where, if there was a universe where Stephen King
Wrote exclusively romantic comedy
Movies, scripts, or whatever
You can read those
Or if, take a Dean Koontz and make him do
Just like
Dr. Seuss
Dr. Seuss style children's books, right?
And then you can find
(39:07):
Then he finds, I think one point where he
Wrote books, which is kind of cool
Because I think he was
Maybe kind of a struggling English teacher
Author, and then he like finds
A finished, like a version of himself
That wrote all the books that he ever thought
He could be writing, they're good
So does he just like take those books and rewrite them
In his own universe? I don't know if he does that
I think that's the thing, because it is a short story
(39:29):
He might, he might have considered
Doing that, I can't remember
Exactly the ending, but
No, I think
You just made the movie, the Beatles movie
That was just out, oh, yesterday
Yesterday, that was a good one
I love yesterday, that's one of my
Top favorite Beatles movies
Well, I like the
I like, Across the Universe
(39:51):
I also like
Their weird, actual
Movie that they did, no, not Yellow Submarine
That's bullshit, the other one, the even more
Obscure one, where they're outside
Where they're outside running around in a field
Is that the one where they're on the train, isn't it Hard Days Night?
Is that a scene from Yellow
Submarine? The train one, yeah, no, it's Hard Days Night
Yeah, terrible movie
Terrible, the Beatles were not good
(40:13):
At acting
Again, I put Why Zooki Boogie being
An outcast, and then
Not every song is a banger
Uh
Although Sally's song at the end is good
I like her song at the end with Jack
Although, most of the time I watch this
Movie, I don't quite make it to the end
I kind of make it to like, just after like
The Christmas stuff and all that
(40:35):
And then I kind of lose interest for a little bit
Okay, my wife tells me
My wife who's seen this movie a hundred times because of kids
Um
She keeps telling me there's a sequel
And I'm like, there's no sequel, I look it up
There's no sequel, I think there's a book sequel
I don't know, but I'm just telling you
I tried to look it up
Because she says that there's a sequel where Jack and Sally
Get married or something, I'm like
(40:57):
She's insane, I think, I don't know what the hell
She's talking about, she can't find it
Anywhere
Mandela Effect
Yeah, yeah
I'm thinking it's something, what was the, you mentioned earlier
A different movie that was
A current one similar
To this that had
Had similar characters? Yeah
Paranorman?
(41:19):
No, there was a different thing
I was just trying to think if it was a different movie she was thinking of
I just wanted to
That could have related
No, there is no sequel
Yeah, there's no sequel
Wasn't there another movie that they used
Like the Jack Skellington puppet in
For something?
Now that
Maybe has made appearances
(41:41):
I wonder if there was like a TV thing
Or something that she saw, that's what I was trying to figure out
No, no, no, you're right
There's a
There is a Jack Skellington
Now we're just Googling shit on the podcast
Fucking assholes
Anyway, he's been in a lot of
Video games and
(42:03):
He's been in attractions and then
I don't know, maybe James and the Giant Peach
James and the Giant Peach
I feel like they used
2010's Alice in Wonderland
Just in the background
He was hidden in the bubbles in Finding Nemo
And then
Ralph breaks the internet
Yeah, all Disney properties
Okay, yeah
(42:25):
Okay
So cool, anyway
The parents in this universe
Believe, know about
And depend on Santa for gifts
Because when they come
Downstairs after their kid
Meets Santa, they're like, what did Santa bring
The news is like Santa has been kidnapped
So they're aware of where Santa is
Humans
(42:47):
Know that there's a Christmas door
Like, they know that Santa's
Been kidnapped
Because they know he's not where he should be
Which is inside the Christmas door
I don't think they know about the doors
I think they know that he exists
But I think like the doors are only
Specific for the people that live in those towns
But
(43:09):
They see a skeleton running around
Being crazy pretending to be Santa
Is one thing
That doesn't mean there is no Santa
And Santa is missing
They just know that there's a crazy man pretending to be Santa
Unless you can send
Someone to Christmas land
And confirm that he's not there
That's what I'm saying, and it's the news
They have to report what's fact
(43:31):
They can't just make that up
Wow
Okay
That might be the dumbest thing I've ever said
Might be the dumbest thing you've ever said
I think at one point
In our entire podcasting history
I've said so many stupid things
But I think me saying the news
Has to report facts
(43:53):
Wow
I'm a fucking moron
I'm sorry, never mind
You believe everything you read Andy?
Yeah, yeah, fuck
Because you're like, that's what you go like
Because I've got this
I've got this friend, he's a prince in Ethiopia
He needs your help
So, oh, and then this is a surplus issue
(44:15):
Kind of thing, like a management issue
But Santa gets kidnapped
Jack goes out
Christmas Eve hits
Presumably
Six, because this is the 96
Or wait, six billion people
Seven billion people
How many of those have kids?
Probably
Five billion houses
(44:37):
Four billion houses
Right? Okay, so four
No, because no, because everyone
Doesn't live in a house
Everyone doesn't live in their own house
I'd say like, let's just say two billion
Homes
So Jack gets to two billion homes using his
Version of the reindeer
His skeleton reindeer, so they, I guess
That Dr. Finklestein
(44:59):
Or whatever his name is
He is capable
Of artificially, through science
Creating Christmas magic
In the same principles that allow
Like the inter-dimensional, multiversal
Travel that Santa needs to
Because he has to, the only way
Santa works is if he
Somehow lines up every kid's
House via a wormhole
(45:21):
And folds space
Because like, I think that's how you could do it
So if Santa needs to get to each person's house
He's not going through a chimney
Santa is a multiversal
Not a multiversal, but a black hole
Folded over in space time and time again
No, no, no, he just called
They show it in the movie
I know, in this movie
I'm talking about a real life Santa
(45:43):
Neil deGrasse Tyson
He talks about
Black hole travel is
Like, you would fold
You're folding space in, and you're just traveling
Through that spot, right?
So, Santa is
A guy who knows how to fold time and space
So what he does... Yeah, I was going to say
Does that also fold time? That's what I was wondering
Well, no, no, he doesn't need to fold time
(46:05):
Hear me out. He just follows the time zone
Well, no, he does. He does actually need to fold time
Imagine if every
If he had access to a piece of paper
And every house he needed to get to was on that same
Piece of paper, and he could fold it an infinite amount of times
He could fold it
So he could one-shot it
Or he could just go down a tube
And throw the presents, I guess sideways
Or through a tree or whatever, as he went through
(46:27):
Without having to... So, I think
That's the way he would do it
He would just fold time in on itself and space
Compress it into one shot
And go down the chimney
So to speak, like a tube
And drop off all the presents
I just thought of that right now, and I needed to get out of my head
Because I think it was a pretty cool idea of what Santa is capable of
Saved you from the news comment, yeah
Yeah, thank you
(46:49):
No, I'm still a fucking moron
That deserves to be shot in the street
But
My point is
Jack Skellington, he does all of the shit
And gets back
Fights Oogie Boogie
Free's Santa Claus
Santa Claus goes back, presumably
Takes all the bad gifts
And replaces them with good gifts, and still gets back in time
(47:11):
For like typical
That's how long it would normally take Christmas time
He... If it takes him
All night at any other point
In the future to do what he could
Just did in a matter of probably
Minutes, it seems like
It's a waste of energy and time
You see what I'm saying? Like, he's been taking all night
To do something that he could very
Clearly do, if I was his boss
(47:33):
If I was Santa's boss
I would see this display and I'd be like
I'm so sorry you were kidnapped
We'll work on getting you better security
But now I know you could do this in eight minutes
So... Are you thinking Santa Claus is paid hourly?
Yeah, he's not paid hourly
He's a volunteer worker, man
He's a volunteer worker
He volunteers his time
I don't think he's a volunteer
(47:55):
If I was Santa Claus's boss
I'm the custodian of the grove of trees
He is the boss
No, that makes me the boss
Of these specific...
You know what? Christ is the boss of these specific trees
If we're getting into it
Because the Irish love him
Thanksgiving is all about
Spreading him
Throughout America
(48:17):
Christmas is about his birth
Easter is about his death
British bonfire night
Famously is about
Yeah, I gotta hear this
British bonfire night is famously about
I should have looked it up
Because I was curious about it
What is British bonfire night?
Well, everybody, leave in the comments
If you're from Britain
(48:39):
And you celebrate British bonfire night
You know what day it is
You know what it's in commemoration of
I could blow some shit up
Oogie Boogie is just the boogie man
Doing boogie shit is my last note
And I think this movie gets a B plus
I think it's a perfect
Christmas Halloween hybrid movie
There are not a lot of those in the world
I believe one
(49:01):
This one doesn't
But I challenge there to be another
I absolutely would love more
Holiday mishmash movies
Give me a Valentine's Day
St. Patrick's Day movie
I don't care
It could be
Computer animated
Like
Rip off of Nightmare Before Christmas
(49:23):
But just with different characters
Doing different songs and doing different things
And it would work
Just don't do Americanized bullshit Hallmark
Pics
What's like a true
How about like a Veterans Day movie
There's not a Veterans Day movie
There's a lot of war movies
But not
I don't know how you would do that
(49:45):
Without showing war
Ok I'll rate it
In the end
The Nightmare Before Christmas is like finding out your grandma is secretly a rock star
It's
Surprising
But kind of awesome
A little weird but kind of awesome
Perfect
Hollywood day movie for anyone who
Thinks that it's a wonderful life and the
(50:07):
Exorcist could both use a little more singing
Yeah
It's definitely a B plus
Four and a half out of five stars
Can't really find big flaws
A couple little flaws
Like you said some of the songs get a little repetitive
But whatever
Especially watching it the first time
It's great I can see after ten times
How some of the music could get a little
(50:29):
Repetitive or whatever
But I still give this a B plus because it's
It's so
Engrained in my head
As a just part of like
What life is
Life is at some point
Halloween and Christmas are going to come around
They are going to be matched
Completely together right
Just like at Walmart
(50:51):
You said a regular B?
You said B plus
You have to make a trip to Disney at some point
During the time when they change the
Haunted Mansion
Into Nightmare Before Christmas
The entire ride is
Nightmare Before Christmas
And they have Jack Skellington's popcorn buckets too
They sell Jack Skellington
Popcorn buckets too around the time
(51:13):
That sounds awesome
I can't believe I've still never been
It's because it cost a billion dollars
I've not been yet
Can't afford it, it's too much money
This whole podcast has been
Post Mike's heart attack
All the new firsts
It's like you're learning to be a man again
Learning to be a boy or something
This is your coming of age story
(51:35):
The coming of a second age
The coming of a middle age story
So what do you rate it?
Yeah, I mean it's
Definitely an enjoyable movie
It's definitely a classic
The amount of work that they put into this movie
Shows the love behind it
You know
And yeah, it's great
It is one of those ones that does get boring
(51:57):
A little bit in the second act
But if you push past that second act
It's great
So I mean I would give it a solid B plus
Oh, there we have it
Ladies and gentlemen
You said B plus and
Four and a five stars
I said four and a half
That would be a B
Four is a B
(52:19):
On our grading scale
What grading scale were you using?
He's changing it
My brain one
The one that's in my head
Listen, I have told you from day one
That this is the stupidest grading scale
Ever invented
Because I want to give it an A
But I can't so I have to give it a B plus
Four and a half out of five is an A
(52:41):
We're almost through the season
It would be inconsistent to change now
That's why it's a B plus
Ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to let you keep doing your grade
Until I disagree
With it affecting
How I feel about this
As it has always been
Thumb on the scale
Right now, Brendan and I are saying
(53:03):
This is a perfect movie
You're saying it's a four and a half out of five
B plus out of if A and A plus
Were options
But thank you for giving it
A perfect score, Mike
With your shit
By the way, ladies and gentlemen
If you haven't listened to this show before
B is our highest, goes to F
Because we're stupid
(53:25):
We listened to Zach
And he led us astray
In the beginning
Anyway, so B plus is as good as it gets
And that's why we gave this movie
A big ol' stick in B plus
Join us maybe tomorrow
I don't know the schedule
Thanks for joining us for 8 crazy
Or 9 or 10 or 11
More than 8 crazy nights of Christmas
(53:47):
I think by the end of this Andy got his 25 nights of Christmas
Yeah
You guys said I wouldn't get it
Doing a lot of Christmas shit
So we started
In October
How about this
So
Mwa ha ho ho ho
And thank you
For joining us for the Nightmare
(54:09):
Before Christmas episode
Of Fried Rice Podcast
I've been your host
Andy, well I'll do that at the end
With me as always
It's Brendan, jingle bells
Jingle bells
Ship me up to Boston
Remember everybody
You can always trust the news
Shit I'm an idiot
(54:31):
Who are three as always
It's Michael
Dashing through the snow
Da da da da da da
What was that I was trying to do the Halloween theme
It didn't work, Larson
Thanksgiving still exists
And I've been your
Mwa ha ho ho
Host, Andy Rice
We've been fried
(54:53):
We've been podcast
We've been eight crazy nights of Christmas
Or more
It's a fried rice Christmas
(55:21):
It's a fried rice Christmas
And Andy's really high
He's gonna go on a tangent
He's gonna go on a tangent soon
The guys are standing by
It's a fried rice Christmas
Let's all smoke some pot
We love all of our listeners
(55:43):
You all mean a lot
It's a fried rice Christmas
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
It's a fried rice Christmas, ho ho ho
(00:07):
Ho ho ho
What's this? What's this? It's Andy in the Air. What's this? It's fried rice everywhere. What's this?
It's Brennan and Mike and it's 8 crazy nights of Christmas. Oh my, what's this?
Why this is the nightmare before Christmas Andy. Yes it is and welcome everybody. Ho ho ho
(00:34):
It's another 8 crazy nights of
Christmas with Fried Rice podcast. I'm your host, Kidnap Andy Claus
And with me as always it's Brennan
Oh shit I can't remember another song from this movie. I just watched
Brennan, oh, this is Brennan Shipley, this is Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley, Brennan Shipley
(01:04):
Up to Boston. Hello everybody
We have Michael Oogie Boogie. No, Pumpkin King. Oh, the pumpkin king, Larson
Everybody. I'll give you that one and welcome to, yeah this is another 8 or 9 or 10 crazy nights
(01:26):
I was about to say how many nights of these, how many of these Christmas ones have we done so far?
Yeah, quite a bit, quite a bit. I'm looking currently at our schedule for December and there's at least 20 things highlighted
So, you know our 8 crazy nights of Christmas
Yeah, so welcome. We are reviewing of course The Nightmare Before Christmas
(01:48):
You can look up the IMDB if you want to see who it's directed by and all that shit. We don't care, we're just going to talk about the movie
Oh, I did think it was kind of interesting. I always thought it was directed by Tim Burton
It's not a Tim Burton. It's produced. I said that to Mike the other day because he's like, oh and I like Tim Burton
I was like, yeah, but he only produces it. I know. He doesn't direct it
I was reading the facts on that and I'm like, that's fucking crazy
Like, you know, they have this argument, him and the director, like they have this kind of like whose project was it?
(02:14):
You know, when Tim Burton was only there like four or five times in the three years that it took him to make this
He was busy making something else at the time
And Tim Burton has the argument with this guy?
Kind of, like they have, not like an argument but like
Or people making the argument
People make the argument
It's not Tim Burton saying it's my movie
Like Tim Burton's like, yeah, he gives Tim Burton the credit for creating the characters
(02:38):
At least, you know, the main characters writing the poem that inspired it
The original drawings and things like that
But they were the ones that like worked so hard on it for three years
That's cool. When I went to, so it's interesting you say that
Because I went to the, so the LACMA, the LA County Museum of Arts
Which is next to the Brea Tar Pit
(03:00):
So if you're ever in LA, that's a good double combo
You get to see the famous Brea Tar Pits
Which are really cool to look at because they're actual tar pits, right?
And then you go to LACMA and the one I went to had a Tim Burton exhibit
And you got to see the Batman costume
You got to see Jack Skellington little heads
Like the actual ones they used for the production inside a glass case
(03:23):
But there was like 20 of them with all the different expressions like him talking and shit
Which is really cool
You got to, and then when you went into like
You got to see the inspiration for Nightmare Before Christmas
And then there's a weird, because they did a really big exhibit for him
You go into a room and it was like all the childhood Tim Burton stuff
And he made some like crazy fucking drawings
(03:46):
So if you're a parent out there
And you've got a kid just making silly monster drawings or whatever
You could have the next Tim Burton on your hands, you never know
So Mike, this is your first time watching the Nightmare Before Christmas ever
First time
Did you think, like everyone thinks that the claymation is just absolutely next level, top tier?
(04:09):
Well, I did when I first saw it and then I realized this is not claymation
It's stop motion, it's puppets
Yeah
Well, okay, when I, yeah, sorry
When I say claymation, that's always been, you're right
It's like calling a tissue, a piece of tissue paper a Kleenex
It's a brand
I know that claymation is its own thing
(04:30):
It's clay that you're moving, that you're using stop motion photography as a way to make it
So in my mind, every time I think of anything that's produced with stop motion
That requires puppets or clay or whatever
Because there absolutely was clay in this
They used clay to make the faces, some of it, right?
They had to have used some modeling clay to make some stuff, whatever
(04:51):
But then also all the little shit that they made, I'm sure is practical
Like little glass vials for the scientist guy and all that stuff
So in my mind, when I say claymation, I only mean it as a catch-all for stop motion, stop motion movies
Which again, isn't correct, and I know that
So if I were to reach
I was expecting claymation when I started watching it
(05:12):
I was like, well, I remembered, I mean, I'd seen, like I said, scenes from it before and stuff
But never really thought about it
But then when I started watching it, I was like, these don't look like clay
How are they doing this in clay?
Because you had told me claymation before
And I was like, these don't appear to be clay
So then I had to do a deep dive and I went and watched like a making of
(05:33):
There's a making of on YouTube that's incredible
That shows how they did it and the removable heads and all the stuff that they did on these puppets
And there's actually a picture of a
I mean, there's like, I took a bunch of screenshots of it
Like, they're about this tall little puppets
They almost look like Randy Ice
Only this head pops off and they put a different head on to make expressions
(05:56):
Yeah
A bunch of times
And it's like, and so then I went on a deep dive and I was like, wow, this had to take forever to make
Three years
Three and a half years
129,000 shots
It was like what, like 30 minutes for like one second?
Yeah, it's insane
Like, there's something like crazy like that
Yeah, that's insane
So when I did a claymation, an actual with clay claymation
(06:20):
For a high school class and it was shit
It looked cool, but it wasn't nearly as fluid, right?
Like obviously
You guys shoot so many frames per second
And we didn't have the high quality
Exactly
We were literally just taking pictures and then throwing them into a movie
Right
Like they had cameras they were taking
(06:41):
Almost like a flip book
Yeah, but digital
It makes it like actually puts, yeah, but it's still a little janky, right?
Right
So yeah, this is insane
The technology is insane
It reminds me of, well, two things come to mind
Robot Chicken uses similar techniques because those are dolls
Right
And it uses like, but I think that also has to use a lot more digital stuff
(07:05):
It's got to
I was thinking about that if you were to remake this today, would you just do it all digitally?
They would because they did with Corpse Bride
Paranorman, Paranorman they actually did it a lot like this
Because Paranorman was a stop motion with dolls as well
That's right, and Paranorman's amazing
It's great
If you haven't seen Paranorman, that's another one
It's not Tim Burton though
It's, actually shit, it might be produced by him
(07:28):
No, because he did Frankenweenie
He did, okay, so he did Frankenweenie
I think Paranorman was a different guy, I think
Because it's also not the same style of character, similar
Similar, yeah
But very good
I remember, I haven't seen that in so long
I watched that in theaters, I liked it a lot
But Robot Chicken and
What's the other one that, oh
Celebrity Deathmatch
(07:49):
Now that, I think that was Clay
That was absolutely Clay, that was hilarious
And also Janky
But they also had dolls too
Like, it was weird because I don't think
It was like a combination
I don't think every one of them was Clay
I think they used Clay as their effects
So like, I think like when someone needed to, you know, like then they would
For certain things, but I think they had dolls because
(08:11):
I remember an ex-girlfriend of mine
Worked with the guy who created
Celebrity Deathmatch, they were pulling out old
Like, figures for, from it
So, to like dust off and stuff
I also saw a documentary where they were restoring
The Jack Skellington, the, like, one of the dolls
One of the puppets that they have
(08:32):
It's been so long now, and it's like
Age and stuff
Even no matter how you preserve it
Gets to things, so they have to like go in and like
Very delicately with like
You know, like tiny little tweezers
And little brushes, like take care of him
Like put new, like, veneer on him or whatever to keep him
Fresh
Fresh, for as long as you can
(08:53):
So, let's get into it
First off, we get the
It opens with the trees
Which is, I think, the most interesting part of the whole universe of
Nightmare Before Christmas
Well, we were actually talking, they could have made all the different
They could have made sequels to this, it would have been great
Yeah, of course, yeah, and I think that's been discussed
Just by doing the different trees
(09:15):
Just like going to a different tree
I think, right now
They thought about doing it, and they decided not to
They decided against it
Which one? Tim Burton says absolutely no
Never a sequel
Yeah, he's like, this movie was perfect
Yeah, he's like, no
And I see that thought process, especially artists, they don't want it
Yeah
No, but here's, I get
(09:37):
You don't want to muddy the waters
I get that
At the same time
You want more
At the same time, why not give the guy that made this
The first one
Give him $10 million to do a
Well, no, no, to do a three minute Disney
No, no, no, that's what I'm saying
To do a three minute Disney follow Zero around
(09:59):
Just give us a little Zero story
It doesn't have to fuck with the continuity
There's some shorts
Like some shorts
How about what happened to Zero after Jack went in the tree
Because Zero's outside the tree
Maybe he, maybe another door opens
Seriously, they make it like those little scratch
You know, they have the little scratch ones they put before the movies
Or like the little Groots, yeah, the like little Groots
(10:20):
I thought they did do something with Zero
Like some sort of short or something like that with Zero back in the day
I could have sworn there was some sort of like story with Zero like going around
Doing something
I just incepted that memory into your brain
Maybe
With just how good of an idea it was
I think you're just literally going, oh yeah, that sounds amazing
But then again, maybe I'm remembering a short
(10:41):
And thinking it's my own original idea
I thought it was like him going around the graveyard
Kind of like just kind of looking for Jack
Because he was just kind of sad
Maybe, now that you're saying it, that does sound somewhat familiar
That could be a thing
It could be a thing
Well, in the comments, put below if we are remembering something
Or if I'm so good
Mandela effect
Yeah, the Mandela effect
(11:02):
Or if you're from the alternate timeline that didn't get that version
If you're from the same timeline as us
So there was St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Halloween are the holidays
What a weird fucking grove of trees that is
Fucking two of them are explicitly Christian holidays
So Christ has to be involved with Easter and Christmas
(11:27):
Easter, yes, Christmas is not Christmas
I've always had this argument though with Christmas
Because Christmas was a pagan holiday
That Christians took over
I'll give you
Easter was a
Easter was? I didn't know Easter
Easter was a, it's about fertility
But I don't think the people who, no, no, but here's the thing
(11:48):
The Easter represented by the Easter Bunny
Well, he had an egg on it, it was an egg
I know, but that version of Easter
Easter Bunny, Easter egg is the resurrection of Christ Easter
I think whatever
See, I thought the eggs came into play for
What the hell does the bunny have to do with it?
Yeah, the bunny and the eggs both had to do with the fertility
(12:11):
Oh, fertility is the bunny
I just wondered why it was a bunny
But what I'm saying, because it's Easter, right? Easter Bunny
But why?
I don't know why they picked a bunny
And it could be because of fertility
I thought that's what it was
I'm sure that's the history behind it
But what I'm saying is if you explicitly make an Easter door on your Easter tree
And you put a decorated Easter egg
(12:34):
You're going modern contemporary Easter
You're going middle class white America Easter
Is what you're doing by painting eggs on the door or whatever
You're going this is Christ died, was resurrected Easter that we're now celebrating by dying eggs
This was the 90s
It's just weird to think about anyway
(12:55):
Yeah, it's weird
The whole thing's weird
Plus, then Christmas again, pagan holiday that the Christians repurposed into
We're going to now say that Jesus was born on the 25th
We already arbitrarily picked that day and we'll just celebrate it
Which is fine, and you could do that, Christians
But what a weird
Thanksgiving is a holiday that
(13:19):
Also a weird holiday
Straight American
It's straight up American values
Plus, what are we celebrating with Thanksgiving?
Because we know that the
It's all lies
The Native Americans didn't
Thanksgiving is 100% lies
There wasn't a huge feast with turkey
It was smallpox
There was smallpox blankets and fucking shots
(13:42):
So that's a weird
If you go into Thanksgiving world
What are you celebrating?
That's probably where it becomes like one of those
It's cowboys and Indians
That'd be hilarious though if they did that
It'd be pilgrims and Indians
And what the fuck are pilgrims known for besides killing Native Americans?
It's worshipping Jesus
(14:03):
That's their whole thing
That's three Jesus-centric holidays if you ask me
Now, Halloween is its own thing
There should have been a lot more Mexican Day of the Dead stuff in this
It's shocking that there wasn't a single sugar skull
That there wasn't a single sombrero-wearing guy
There wasn't like
(14:24):
I would have even taken a
Didn't age well, slightly racist
As long as they kept some representation of
Day of the Dead
Because I know that it was the 90s
They probably would have fucked that up
It would have been a Speedy Gonzalez
But I still would have wanted something
Because it's weird that they just cut that out
They covered a lot of Halloween stuff
(14:47):
And they just
And then St. Patrick's Day
Fucking St. Patrick's Day
Get drunk
Now that would be the stereotypical answer, right?
Well, there was one with the firework on it too
Fourth of July
I didn't see the firework one
Okay, so Fourth of July
It's an American-centric
Because it was Fourth of July
(15:09):
It was Fourth of July or there was an English holiday
That's also kind of similar
Listen
Thanksgiving is on this
It's not the English whatever you're thinking
No, I know
But they were saying that
Guy Fawkes Day?
What?
Guy Fawkes Day?
Where they tried to blow up Parliament?
Not Guy Fawkes Day
It's
The 5th of November
November
Remember the 5th of November?
(15:30):
Yeah
Goddamn
V for Vendetta
Really did a good job at teaching us
A random British history fact
Yeah
Just good job V for Vendetta
I do want to just point out just before I forget
That if you watch this on Disney Plus
There's a ton of cool extras in there
Extra content?
(15:51):
Yeah
Okay
Thank you
Because I did watch this on Disney Plus
And there's a shitload of things I did not remember ever watching on it
So this must be the extended cut
Yeah, but there's also extras below that
If you go down and look at the extras
There's also a bunch of extras
I didn't see that
Is there anything with Zero?
A little short with Zero?
No, there's a couple of shorts with Oogie Boogie that were cut out
(16:14):
There were some cut scenes
Yeah, deleted scenes
Yeah, like the drawing board scenes
I think our friend Zach would be remiss of us if we didn't mention that
Nightmare Before Christmas is a fully playable world in the Kingdom Hearts series
So if you're unfamiliar with the Kingdom Hearts series
It's a really fun blend
(16:35):
It's a Disney game where you play as a kid who teams up with Goofy and Donald to try to find King Mickey
And then you team up with Final Fantasy characters
So it's kind of a fun thing
So because it's Disney, you go to all these different worlds
One of them being Nightmare Before Christmas
It's super cool
It has all the music
You fight Oogie Boogie
You team up with Jack
(16:57):
Your characters become monsters when you show up there
You look like Halloween people
It's very well done
There's also, I think, the Nightmare Before Christmas game
And I think it was really bad
I think people hated it
And it had some weird stretchy mechanic for Jack that people just didn't understand
Like a PlayStation 2 game?
It felt like a PlayStation 2
(17:19):
I think I have a PlayStation 2
So weird collection of holidays
Don't know who created this grove of trees
I don't know how the trees work, by the way
So you go into the tree to get to Halloween Town
How do you get out?
You walk out of Halloween Town back to the grove
Because Jack left Halloween Town and walked out to the grove
(17:43):
So how does that tree work?
The tree takes you...
Magic, Andy
I don't...
Magic!
Halloween magic
They didn't once establish that that's the case with this
That there's some sort of teleportation magic at play
But whatever, okay
So we got both Christ...
So we got all the Christ holidays
St. Patrick's, I did put it's American drinking holiday
(18:04):
So if we're Americanizing it, yeah
You do go in there and you're drunk by the time you get out the other side
British Bonfire Night, that's what it was called
I'm sure that's what it was
So sorry, it was St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Halloween
And then British Bonfire Night was the...
Let me just cross off 4th of July here
British Bonfire Night
British Bonfire Night
(18:26):
There we go
Celebrated famously on...
I don't know
Oh, okay, well shit
Just a firework
British Isles, just fireworks
When I went to France, it was their Independence Day
Which is obviously a different day than ours
But what they do is...
So we're in south of France, like middle, maybe middle of France
(18:50):
And we're at this rooftop party at the hostel that we were at
It was awesome
We were a bunch of just random people from all over the place
And we all smelled burning, like rubber in the air
And they told us, the locals are like, well yeah, it's Bastille Day
It's like Bastille Day, they'll light your car on fire if you leave it out
I'm like, what?
It's like, yeah, if you park your car out on the street, they're going to light that shit on fire
(19:14):
I'm like, why?
It's like, we celebrated Independence
I'm like, what?
By burning cars?
Then I had some more beers and I forgot all about it
I just had a burning rubber
I'm glad I don't have a car here
Exactly, I was like, fuck it, I'm going by train
Let's go light a car on fire, it's okay
Shit, I should have
You should have, why didn't you?
Damn it, why didn't I light a car on fire?
(19:35):
I wasn't prepared
One chance
I wasn't
You know what?
You're being an American
I don't think you're allowed to
Light cars on fire
So I'm sure if I were caught, I would still very much be arrested
You're just like, what?
They said we can't
It's a holiday
We're independent
I thought this was America
Yeah
I thought this was America, Fritz
He thought this was Fritz
(19:56):
I thought this was Fritz
I thought this was Fritz
So, yeah, okay
So, oh, we get the opening song
It's fine, we get introduced to everybody
Oogie Boogie has a part in their town song
That they're all collaboratively singing together
So Oogie Boogie is a functioning member and part of this Halloween town
(20:21):
I don't know why he's billed to be the bad guy
At not one point in this movie do I think Oogie Boogie is any more or less evil than anybody else in Halloween town
And he's just doing literally what every other Halloween town resident does
Yeah, it's kind of weird that they make him out to be the bad guy
Well, the bad guy's Jack
Yeah
To me
He's ruining Christmas
(20:43):
He's also trying to impose his new religion on his
He's forcing it on
He's forcing his
He doesn't bother to ask a single person if they're going to celebrate Christmas
He forces his new religion on his followers
Although I do enjoy when he's explaining Christmas to the town people
And he's like, you know, and these toys, and they're like, well, what do they do?
(21:04):
Do they kill people? Do they maim them?
No, they're too fun
Yeah
They're like, oh, okay
Yeah
So I agree with you
Jack might be the villain
But you know what?
What perspective are we looking at this from?
Are we looking at it from, if we're looking at it from like the
(21:25):
An outside perspective
The denizens
Watching the movie
From an outside perspective to me, Jack is, he's the protagonist who's trying to
Hold on, let me pretend to be a human being watching a movie for a second
Because that's not how my brain works
You go in the movie, right?
I am one of the citizens of either Halloween town
I'm the, I'm a
You worship Jack in whatever he tells you you're going to do
(21:47):
I'm a landscaper for the grove of trees
That's what my job would be
Yeah, so okay
Yeah, I guess he, he would be a bad guy, I like that, that look, that outlook on it
Because he does, he leaves
He kidnaps Santa Claus, come on, of course he's a bad guy
He does kidnap Santa Claus
What are you talking about?
(22:08):
And what is with Santa Claus's hands? I'm sorry
The only thing in the whole animation, this whole movie
Was the hands that were so tiny on Santa Claus
I loved it, it was kind of, it was something
His feet were small too
His hands
I like it, it was everybody's hands and feet, I like
Except for Jack's
Yeah, I wonder if that's on purpose
Skeletonia probably
I highly recommend that you go on YouTube
(22:33):
And you rewatch, you type in Nightmare Before Christmas tool
And you watch the opening song
But they get rid of the audio and instead put a tool song on
That syncs up perfectly like Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd
It's a perfect sync, it is awesome
Or listen to Korn's Kidnap the Santa Claus
(22:54):
Oh yeah, there's an entire album, Mike, I don't know if you knew this
An entire album where they got
Jonathan Davis from Korn
They got Flyleaf, they got Fall Out Boy
They got literally all the big names from 15 years ago
To do covers of these songs
So every single one, What's This, Kidnap Santa Claus
They're all like
(23:15):
What about Oingo Boingo?
Do they do one? They might be
They should be because it's Danny Elfin
Yeah, it's Danny Elfin, so they should
Which the music in this is
Oh, the music's great, there's no
The score in this I love
On second or third or fourth, probably tenth watch now that I'm on
The songs, there's only a couple that I like
There's now more songs that I'm not a fan of
(23:38):
Than songs I am a fan of
And I am a fan of musicals
But one of my notes down here
I put
Oh, so I guess not every song is a banger
And that's Sally's fucking lament at the end or whatever
Like so fucking boring
But most of the songs are good
I think the tree with corpses
(23:59):
Still hanging from its branches was probably
Like maybe a little too much for kids
Well, that's why a lot of this movie's a little much for kids
Oogie Boogie's kind of scary for kids
I still haven't quite shown it to my kids
Like I was going to watch it with my five-year-old
You're just kidnapping Santa Claus in his sleep
It's a little traumatic for children
Or the kids that get snakes for presents, you know
Like the old
(24:21):
There's some traumatic stuff in here if you were a little kid
There is, yeah
All the female monsters want to fuck Jack
Yeah, I found that a little hot
That's another thing for kids, yes
When Jack leaves, you can hear the mayor saying
An award for the most blood-drained
And I was like, holy shit, that's dark
But then he says an honorable mention
(24:43):
Goes to the fabulous dark lagoon leeches
And I was like, I don't think I've ever heard that part
But it's like, that's fun
Honorable mention to the leeches
Honorable mention to the leeches
Yeah
I don't know who created the tree worlds
But why or how could a creature like Jack exist
Being unsatisfied with being a Halloween guy
(25:06):
So I'm imagining whatever God created Halloween world
Would make the people in Halloween world, the monsters
Like 99% of all the monsters we saw
Totally happy and fine being monsters and living in Halloween world
Why would Jack, even being introduced to something new
Like why wouldn't that like scare him
(25:28):
Like, you know, there should be safeguards at play
That was my surprise was that he wasn't scared at Christmas
That it was so different
That it would be off-putting not so different
That it would make him want to go to the
Yeah, that's a bit of a weird
But does it show him unsatisfied before he goes?
Yeah, that's right, he's unsatisfied
He's bored
He's bored
(25:49):
Okay, so, yeah, you know what?
Never mind, I take back my critique
I think it's fine
This is a good movie
Oh, but I don't like that he keeps singing about how he's the scariest monster
And that he's the best one
He was the king
He was their leader
But in his song he's like, I'm the scariest one
Like he says that he scares more people than anybody else
(26:11):
Well, because maybe he does, we don't see that
We do
Every time he blinks
We see
Every time he blinks
No, but we see him do a scary face to the three trick-or-treaters
When he's telling them to kidnap Santa Claus
He says to them, he goes like
Or else, like, he does like a scary face
And I'm like, bro, that's not even close to being scary
Like compared to literally a tree running after you
(26:35):
That has corpses hanging from its branches
And it has a menacing face
That would scare the shit
If I walked outside and a tree was like, hello, Andy
And starts running at me and it has corpses
I would shit myself
Maybe there's a whole dark side to Jack Skellington
We don't know
Maybe he just makes the bodies disappear
Bro, I bet Jack Skellington
Fucks with, like, whoever he's scaring
Yeah
(26:56):
Like, it's a kid sleeping in the bed
And he's like looking at them
Like he does the real creepy shit that stays with you
So he's like
So when he gets back
They're just like, not a lot of screams this year, Jack
He's like, no, it'll pay off in therapy 20 years from now
Like, don't even worry about it
I've played a long game
I'll be thinking about that forever
I'm an immortal Halloween creature
I play the long game
(27:17):
I make little deposits here
That'll ruin people in the future
That's what makes him the best
Yeah
It does
Okay, sure
So he's just fucked up
Jack's fucked up
Yeah
The mayor humming
This is Halloween
It's kind of fun
I like that as he was going
Yeah
(27:38):
As he's, like, going up
I was like, I like that little callback
I always loved the mayor being two-faced
Yeah, two-faced mayor
Just the mayor even being the mayor
When Jack's really in charge
Yeah
It's kind of funny, too
He's not in charge of anything
Yeah, but he even sort of says
When Jack leaves, he's like,
Well, I'm just a figurehead or whatever
Yeah
But, and I know he is two-faced
And I know that's the joke
But his two faces aren't that dissimilar
(28:01):
No, they're the same
One's more frantic, I guess
One's more frantic
But they both are
Scared
They're not a bad character
Like, they're not anti-Jack at any point
No
I expected a two-faced, like, maybe the head to flip
And, like, now he's working with Oogie Boogie or something
Oh, yeah
To undermine Jack's attempt to make Christmas, right?
Yeah
Or maybe, you know what?
(28:23):
If Jack had made all the presents correct
And then they went through an Oogie Boogie factory
He fucked them all up before putting them in the bag
And then Jack was unknowingly fucking with kids
Or, like, scaring people as he was going through
Yeah, because Jack didn't really change
That would have made Oogie Boogie more of a bad guy
(28:44):
And Jack more of a good guy
It would have made Jack more sympathetic
Right
Instead, it's like, no
Instead, it just makes Jack ignorant to what Christmas is
Even though I've read and memorized every carol
I know all the rhymes
I know every single thing there is to know about Christmas
Except what presents to give
Except what
A wooden train does not mean a snake that's going to attack kids
(29:07):
You should know this
The Beetlejuice snake
Yeah, exactly
That actually did
That's what it was modeled after
You're fucking right
Because it's the same
It's Tim Burton's of all
So, yeah, shit
I thought it looked similar
So, yeah, how did Jack walk out of the tree?
Why didn't Zero go through the Christmas door
(29:28):
Since he is a ghost?
And why didn't anybody listen to Sally?
Yeah
Sally the whole time
The whole time she's the only smart one
Yeah, she's the only one
As usual, no one listens to women
If Austin were here, he would call her the C word and say it was her fault
So, I put what, okay, so during the What's This song
(29:57):
He, and I realized later this is probably just his ignorance
But he goes over to the elves sleeping and he goes
The children are asleep with like no worries in their
Like no nightmares in their head or whatever
Like those aren't children, those are elves
But also why are they, why are their elves just playing around?
(30:20):
I feel like Christmas is ramping up
Like I get that maybe Halloween just ended
Let the Halloween town citizens do their shit
They gotta work the night shift or something
They're sleeping for their shift
You know what I just keep thinking that they
You just got me to the main problem I have with this movie
I really do have an issue
Yeah, what?
(30:41):
I wrote it down just because I blame this movie for running Thanksgiving
Because it skips over it
Because, well not the movie itself, but the world does
Before this movie came out, literally
Yeah, you're preaching
In real life, before this movie came out
You would go to the store at Halloween
You get your Halloween shit
(31:02):
And then they take that shit down
And they put up some Thanksgiving shit
Yep, I remember that
And then they take down the Thanksgiving shit
After Thanksgiving
I miss those days
This movie came out and from that day forward
Every Christmas thing went out at Halloween
From this day, from the day this fucking movie came out
Well I think it started happening before that
Because that's what inspired Tim Burton to write the poem
(31:24):
No, this is 80, no
Yeah, he couldn't have
I was alive, I remember having Thanksgiving shit
They used to put like literally things to put on your table
Centerpieces, they had a whole Thanksgiving section at Walmart
Go to Walmart right now, no Thanksgiving at all
It's no Thanksgiving
But what he said that inspired him to write the poem that he wrote
That wrote this was watching them take down Halloween decorations
(31:45):
And put up Christmas decorations
But now they're doing them together, that's my point
Now they're doing it together, yeah
They're not even taken down
Thanksgiving's just gone
Thanksgiving doesn't even exist anymore
And it's Tim Burton's fault
Or the director
Well because, to lift the curtain a little bit
Because we've been doing some Christmas movies for quite a while
My wife is ready to put up the tree
And we are still in the beginning of November
(32:08):
And I'm not ready for that
I'm like give me my Thanksgiving
Where we put our tree is where our sides
We put an extra table up for sides, hors d'oeuvres
Thanksgiving table
Yeah, snacks leading up to the main meal
I have a Thanksgiving centerpiece to go on my table
Thank you very much
I plan on attending possibly both of your guys'
(32:29):
Thanksgivings again if I'm invited to Mike's
That was great last year
I double dipped
I had someone covered in baby urine
Hand me with their physical fingers, ham
But, okay, other than that
So I didn't get to try any ham at that one scenario
(32:54):
That was my main takeaway from this movie
I get that
They were on Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving should have some
But you know what, at the same time
Since we discussed it earlier
The meaning behind it
The meaning behind Thanksgiving is kind of bullshit
And maybe we should erase it a little bit from our culture
Because what are we celebrating?
We're celebrating
We celebrated as family holiday though
(33:16):
We don't really celebrate it as that
Nobody celebrates it as the origin
How do you think Native Americans feel about Thanksgiving?
Like do you think they get together and they're like
I don't know, that's a good question actually
Let's honor our debt
Let's honor the
It'll be like day of the dead for them
Yeah, shit, kind of is
Maybe the laugh at the end was a little sinister, Mike
But yeah, that was a good point you made
(33:37):
That was a good point you made so evilly
But yeah, it is
But yeah, holy shit
Because even a turkey gets a pardon from the president on Thanksgiving
Native Americans got nothing when we came over
Except genocide
Except entirely wiping them out
(33:58):
And I know this is now an unpopular opinion to have
Weirdly is that the new narrative going up through some circles is that
That it's good that we took over America
And that like we were doing a better job
I don't like that
I've heard that a few times now on YouTube
People going like
Well yeah, it's bullshit that we genocide into people
(34:19):
They were wiping each other out all the time
And we just came in and made things proper
I'm like, that is the wrong take, buddy
Wrong take, man
No, we annihilated, we wiped out people
Then we robbed Mexico of a shitload of land
I don't know, that's another thing too
We killed a bunch of Mexicans to get that bottom part of America
(34:41):
But it shaped better this way
That's just history in general
Yeah, it's the shape
It's shaped better
But then we didn't do anything wrong ever again after making the country
We worked very hard
Yeah, we didn't have slavery for hundreds of years
Oh, there we go, I forgot about slavery
(35:03):
There we go
And then also we're still segregated in some areas
Yeah, but according to Florida history books right now
According to Florida history books
This is legit, according to Florida history books, four children now
On their Prager U thing
Slaves didn't have it that bad
They lived productive lives and they learned valuable skills that helped them later on in life
(35:28):
I guess being slaves
American history starts at 9-11 now for kids
Oh, Jesus, 9-11 happened
And the Muslims are the bad ones
Nothing happened before that
Nothing bad happened before that
We were always good
Except for Jesus, I just said, sorry, that was another bad one
They killed Jesus, but yeah
Sorry, we're getting a little too
(35:49):
A little too something here
This is supposed to be my nightmare for Christmas
Someone put
We cannot do a kids movie and keep it to the genitals
It's impossible
Our kids movies are always our most innocent
It's impossible
One of those
So dumb
Our kids movies are literally always our most dirty
Our political
(36:11):
Our whatever
Always kids movies
One and two is three hours of film
Geez, I wonder why
There's a lyric
I peeked behind the cyclops eye
And I just put I bet he didn't like that
It was just a stupid joke I wrote for myself
But
Why did Jack
Or where did Jack get all those books
(36:33):
I guess maybe when he went
To a kidnaps place
He stole from them
They didn't show it
But he took them
That's right, okay
And then Jack
Maybe there was another tree that was a book
Library
That'd be cool
Library world
(36:55):
Page master
Page master
Was the dream
Do you remember page master, Mike?
Not as a dream, I was much older
I do not have
Fond memories of page master
Bro, it starts off live action
And then the color comes in so
Amazingly
What a great, you know what I remember that storm
(37:17):
So vividly
Him riding his bike
You sound like you're describing the wizard of Oz
He says the
Oh yeah, kind of
I remember that storm
The color comes in so vividly
The witch is my favorite
But I love it
They
That's so good
(37:39):
I love your idea
Way more, I'd much rather live in
Page master world
But
What I was thinking is
More like there's a
Kindle book that Stephen King wrote
Where
So when Kindle came out
The actual Kindle device
Stephen King wrote a short story for
(38:01):
Specifically just Kindle, exclusive to Kindle
About Kindle
And it's about a guy who
Orders, he gets a Kindle sent
To him
Which is funny because
Everyone else has the white Kindle
Or whatever, or the gray Kindle
Whatever Kindle was out, there's only one color
He got a pink one
And so everyone who sees his Kindle
(38:23):
Because again, this is right when it came out
They're like, holy shit, you have a different Kindle
But now you wouldn't think
Twice about it because tablets and whatever
You know if someone had a Kindle
Or if it's an iPad or whatever
So I always thought that was fun
But his Kindle lets him
Read books from
Anywhere in the multiverse
So you can type in Stephen King
(38:45):
For instance, and read
If Stephen King, if there was a multiverse
Where, if there was a universe where Stephen King
Wrote exclusively romantic comedy
Movies, scripts, or whatever
You can read those
Or if, take a Dean Koontz and make him do
Just like
Dr. Seuss
Dr. Seuss style children's books, right?
And then you can find
(39:07):
Then he finds, I think one point where he
Wrote books, which is kind of cool
Because I think he was
Maybe kind of a struggling English teacher
Author, and then he like finds
A finished, like a version of himself
That wrote all the books that he ever thought
He could be writing, they're good
So does he just like take those books and rewrite them
In his own universe? I don't know if he does that
I think that's the thing, because it is a short story
(39:29):
He might, he might have considered
Doing that, I can't remember
Exactly the ending, but
No, I think
You just made the movie, the Beatles movie
That was just out, oh, yesterday
Yesterday, that was a good one
I love yesterday, that's one of my
Top favorite Beatles movies
Well, I like the
I like, Across the Universe
(39:51):
I also like
Their weird, actual
Movie that they did, no, not Yellow Submarine
That's bullshit, the other one, the even more
Obscure one, where they're outside
Where they're outside running around in a field
Is that the one where they're on the train, isn't it Hard Days Night?
Is that a scene from Yellow
Submarine? The train one, yeah, no, it's Hard Days Night
Yeah, terrible movie
Terrible, the Beatles were not good
(40:13):
At acting
Again, I put Why Zooki Boogie being
An outcast, and then
Not every song is a banger
Uh
Although Sally's song at the end is good
I like her song at the end with Jack
Although, most of the time I watch this
Movie, I don't quite make it to the end
I kind of make it to like, just after like
The Christmas stuff and all that
(40:35):
And then I kind of lose interest for a little bit
Okay, my wife tells me
My wife who's seen this movie a hundred times because of kids
Um
She keeps telling me there's a sequel
And I'm like, there's no sequel, I look it up
There's no sequel, I think there's a book sequel
I don't know, but I'm just telling you
I tried to look it up
Because she says that there's a sequel where Jack and Sally
Get married or something, I'm like
(40:57):
She's insane, I think, I don't know what the hell
She's talking about, she can't find it
Anywhere
Mandela Effect
Yeah, yeah
I'm thinking it's something, what was the, you mentioned earlier
A different movie that was
A current one similar
To this that had
Had similar characters? Yeah
Paranorman?
(41:19):
No, there was a different thing
I was just trying to think if it was a different movie she was thinking of
I just wanted to
That could have related
No, there is no sequel
Yeah, there's no sequel
Wasn't there another movie that they used
Like the Jack Skellington puppet in
For something?
Now that
Maybe has made appearances
(41:41):
I wonder if there was like a TV thing
Or something that she saw, that's what I was trying to figure out
No, no, no, you're right
There's a
There is a Jack Skellington
Now we're just Googling shit on the podcast
Fucking assholes
Anyway, he's been in a lot of
Video games and
(42:03):
He's been in attractions and then
I don't know, maybe James and the Giant Peach
James and the Giant Peach
I feel like they used
2010's Alice in Wonderland
Just in the background
He was hidden in the bubbles in Finding Nemo
And then
Ralph breaks the internet
Yeah, all Disney properties
Okay, yeah
(42:25):
Okay
So cool, anyway
The parents in this universe
Believe, know about
And depend on Santa for gifts
Because when they come
Downstairs after their kid
Meets Santa, they're like, what did Santa bring
The news is like Santa has been kidnapped
So they're aware of where Santa is
Humans
(42:47):
Know that there's a Christmas door
Like, they know that Santa's
Been kidnapped
Because they know he's not where he should be
Which is inside the Christmas door
I don't think they know about the doors
I think they know that he exists
But I think like the doors are only
Specific for the people that live in those towns
But
(43:09):
They see a skeleton running around
Being crazy pretending to be Santa
Is one thing
That doesn't mean there is no Santa
And Santa is missing
They just know that there's a crazy man pretending to be Santa
Unless you can send
Someone to Christmas land
And confirm that he's not there
That's what I'm saying, and it's the news
They have to report what's fact
(43:31):
They can't just make that up
Wow
Okay
That might be the dumbest thing I've ever said
Might be the dumbest thing you've ever said
I think at one point
In our entire podcasting history
I've said so many stupid things
But I think me saying the news
Has to report facts
(43:53):
Wow
I'm a fucking moron
I'm sorry, never mind
You believe everything you read Andy?
Yeah, yeah, fuck
Because you're like, that's what you go like
Because I've got this
I've got this friend, he's a prince in Ethiopia
He needs your help
So, oh, and then this is a surplus issue
(44:15):
Kind of thing, like a management issue
But Santa gets kidnapped
Jack goes out
Christmas Eve hits
Presumably
Six, because this is the 96
Or wait, six billion people
Seven billion people
How many of those have kids?
Probably
Five billion houses
(44:37):
Four billion houses
Right? Okay, so four
No, because no, because everyone
Doesn't live in a house
Everyone doesn't live in their own house
I'd say like, let's just say two billion
Homes
So Jack gets to two billion homes using his
Version of the reindeer
His skeleton reindeer, so they, I guess
That Dr. Finklestein
(44:59):
Or whatever his name is
He is capable
Of artificially, through science
Creating Christmas magic
In the same principles that allow
Like the inter-dimensional, multiversal
Travel that Santa needs to
Because he has to, the only way
Santa works is if he
Somehow lines up every kid's
House via a wormhole
(45:21):
And folds space
Because like, I think that's how you could do it
So if Santa needs to get to each person's house
He's not going through a chimney
Santa is a multiversal
Not a multiversal, but a black hole
Folded over in space time and time again
No, no, no, he just called
They show it in the movie
I know, in this movie
I'm talking about a real life Santa
(45:43):
Neil deGrasse Tyson
He talks about
Black hole travel is
Like, you would fold
You're folding space in, and you're just traveling
Through that spot, right?
So, Santa is
A guy who knows how to fold time and space
So what he does... Yeah, I was going to say
Does that also fold time? That's what I was wondering
Well, no, no, he doesn't need to fold time
(46:05):
Hear me out. He just follows the time zone
Well, no, he does. He does actually need to fold time
Imagine if every
If he had access to a piece of paper
And every house he needed to get to was on that same
Piece of paper, and he could fold it an infinite amount of times
He could fold it
So he could one-shot it
Or he could just go down a tube
And throw the presents, I guess sideways
Or through a tree or whatever, as he went through
(46:27):
Without having to... So, I think
That's the way he would do it
He would just fold time in on itself and space
Compress it into one shot
And go down the chimney
So to speak, like a tube
And drop off all the presents
I just thought of that right now, and I needed to get out of my head
Because I think it was a pretty cool idea of what Santa is capable of
Saved you from the news comment, yeah
Yeah, thank you
(46:49):
No, I'm still a fucking moron
That deserves to be shot in the street
But
My point is
Jack Skellington, he does all of the shit
And gets back
Fights Oogie Boogie
Free's Santa Claus
Santa Claus goes back, presumably
Takes all the bad gifts
And replaces them with good gifts, and still gets back in time
(47:11):
For like typical
That's how long it would normally take Christmas time
He... If it takes him
All night at any other point
In the future to do what he could
Just did in a matter of probably
Minutes, it seems like
It's a waste of energy and time
You see what I'm saying? Like, he's been taking all night
To do something that he could very
Clearly do, if I was his boss
(47:33):
If I was Santa's boss
I would see this display and I'd be like
I'm so sorry you were kidnapped
We'll work on getting you better security
But now I know you could do this in eight minutes
So... Are you thinking Santa Claus is paid hourly?
Yeah, he's not paid hourly
He's a volunteer worker, man
He's a volunteer worker
He volunteers his time
I don't think he's a volunteer
(47:55):
If I was Santa Claus's boss
I'm the custodian of the grove of trees
He is the boss
No, that makes me the boss
Of these specific...
You know what? Christ is the boss of these specific trees
If we're getting into it
Because the Irish love him
Thanksgiving is all about
Spreading him
Throughout America
(48:17):
Christmas is about his birth
Easter is about his death
British bonfire night
Famously is about
Yeah, I gotta hear this
British bonfire night is famously about
I should have looked it up
Because I was curious about it
What is British bonfire night?
Well, everybody, leave in the comments
If you're from Britain
(48:39):
And you celebrate British bonfire night
You know what day it is
You know what it's in commemoration of
I could blow some shit up
Oogie Boogie is just the boogie man
Doing boogie shit is my last note
And I think this movie gets a B plus
I think it's a perfect
Christmas Halloween hybrid movie
There are not a lot of those in the world
I believe one
(49:01):
This one doesn't
But I challenge there to be another
I absolutely would love more
Holiday mishmash movies
Give me a Valentine's Day
St. Patrick's Day movie
I don't care
It could be
Computer animated
Like
Rip off of Nightmare Before Christmas
(49:23):
But just with different characters
Doing different songs and doing different things
And it would work
Just don't do Americanized bullshit Hallmark
Pics
What's like a true
How about like a Veterans Day movie
There's not a Veterans Day movie
There's a lot of war movies
But not
I don't know how you would do that
(49:45):
Without showing war
Ok I'll rate it
In the end
The Nightmare Before Christmas is like finding out your grandma is secretly a rock star
It's
Surprising
But kind of awesome
A little weird but kind of awesome
Perfect
Hollywood day movie for anyone who
Thinks that it's a wonderful life and the
(50:07):
Exorcist could both use a little more singing
Yeah
It's definitely a B plus
Four and a half out of five stars
Can't really find big flaws
A couple little flaws
Like you said some of the songs get a little repetitive
But whatever
Especially watching it the first time
It's great I can see after ten times
How some of the music could get a little
(50:29):
Repetitive or whatever
But I still give this a B plus because it's
It's so
Engrained in my head
As a just part of like
What life is
Life is at some point
Halloween and Christmas are going to come around
They are going to be matched
Completely together right
Just like at Walmart
(50:51):
You said a regular B?
You said B plus
You have to make a trip to Disney at some point
During the time when they change the
Haunted Mansion
Into Nightmare Before Christmas
The entire ride is
Nightmare Before Christmas
And they have Jack Skellington's popcorn buckets too
They sell Jack Skellington
Popcorn buckets too around the time
(51:13):
That sounds awesome
I can't believe I've still never been
It's because it cost a billion dollars
I've not been yet
Can't afford it, it's too much money
This whole podcast has been
Post Mike's heart attack
All the new firsts
It's like you're learning to be a man again
Learning to be a boy or something
This is your coming of age story
(51:35):
The coming of a second age
The coming of a middle age story
So what do you rate it?
Yeah, I mean it's
Definitely an enjoyable movie
It's definitely a classic
The amount of work that they put into this movie
Shows the love behind it
You know
And yeah, it's great
It is one of those ones that does get boring
(51:57):
A little bit in the second act
But if you push past that second act
It's great
So I mean I would give it a solid B plus
Oh, there we have it
Ladies and gentlemen
You said B plus and
Four and a five stars
I said four and a half
That would be a B
Four is a B
(52:19):
On our grading scale
What grading scale were you using?
He's changing it
My brain one
The one that's in my head
Listen, I have told you from day one
That this is the stupidest grading scale
Ever invented
Because I want to give it an A
But I can't so I have to give it a B plus
Four and a half out of five is an A
(52:41):
We're almost through the season
It would be inconsistent to change now
That's why it's a B plus
Ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to let you keep doing your grade
Until I disagree
With it affecting
How I feel about this
As it has always been
Thumb on the scale
Right now, Brendan and I are saying
(53:03):
This is a perfect movie
You're saying it's a four and a half out of five
B plus out of if A and A plus
Were options
But thank you for giving it
A perfect score, Mike
With your shit
By the way, ladies and gentlemen
If you haven't listened to this show before
B is our highest, goes to F
Because we're stupid
(53:25):
We listened to Zach
And he led us astray
In the beginning
Anyway, so B plus is as good as it gets
And that's why we gave this movie
A big ol' stick in B plus
Join us maybe tomorrow
I don't know the schedule
Thanks for joining us for 8 crazy
Or 9 or 10 or 11
More than 8 crazy nights of Christmas
(53:47):
I think by the end of this Andy got his 25 nights of Christmas
Yeah
You guys said I wouldn't get it
Doing a lot of Christmas shit
So we started
In October
How about this
So
Mwa ha ho ho ho
And thank you
For joining us for the Nightmare
(54:09):
Before Christmas episode
Of Fried Rice Podcast
I've been your host
Andy, well I'll do that at the end
With me as always
It's Brendan, jingle bells
Jingle bells
Ship me up to Boston
Remember everybody
You can always trust the news
Shit I'm an idiot
(54:31):
Who are three as always
It's Michael
Dashing through the snow
Da da da da da da
What was that I was trying to do the Halloween theme
It didn't work, Larson
Thanksgiving still exists
And I've been your
Mwa ha ho ho
Host, Andy Rice
We've been fried
(54:53):
We've been podcast
We've been eight crazy nights of Christmas
Or more
It's a fried rice Christmas
(55:21):
It's a fried rice Christmas
And Andy's really high
He's gonna go on a tangent
He's gonna go on a tangent soon
The guys are standing by
It's a fried rice Christmas
Let's all smoke some pot
We love all of our listeners
(55:43):
You all mean a lot
It's a fried rice Christmas
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
Ho ho ho
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