December 24, 2024 • 63 mins
It's night 3 of Fried Rice Podcast's 8 or 9, maybe 10, Crazy Nights Of Christmas! Tonight we are discussing "Scrooged" (1998)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's a fried rice Christmas.
(00:05):
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ba humbug everybody.
And I hate Christmas.
No you don't.
That's all I had planned.
I love Christmas.
(00:26):
Welcome to another eight miserable nights of Christmas.
I'm your host Andy Scrooge Rice.
And this is Fried Rice Podcast.
Let's get fried.
With me as always it's Brennan.
I couldn't think of a bad like a oh Brennan.
Brennan got ran over by a reindeer.
(00:50):
Just the eve right before Christmas Day.
No one knew if his mustache would make it.
It might still be floating up this day.
Shipley of the Boston.
Hello everybody.
In case you're wondering none of this is pre-planned.
Oh yeah yeah.
(01:11):
All these songs are off the cuff baby.
With us as always it is Michael Ba humbug.
He's Scrooge.
He's the turkey that Scrooge pies at the end of the movie.
He's the he's the puppets version of the Christmas Carol.
He's the ghost of Christmas future Christmas past and Christmas present.
(01:36):
He is death reincarnate.
He's a floating little ballerina fairy.
He's a taxi driver from hell.
He is Michael Larson.
If I'm anyone in this movie it's Bobcat.
It's Bobcat.
You're absolutely fucking right.
Oh I named every character in this except for the dog that he dresses up as and Bobcat.
(02:01):
And welcome everybody.
If you haven't guessed it already we're doing Scrooge baby.
Bill Murray.
Look it up IMDB if you want to know what year it came out.
I'm not writing these things down anymore.
We're just taking notes.
We watched it recently.
Here's some of our thoughts.
I like to nitpick.
Mike likes to do similes and comparisons to kind of give you a more artistic point of view.
(02:23):
And Brendan likes to listen and hang out with occasionally.
He's got something to say.
It's always a pleasure.
Earlier I know it's important when he says it.
That's right.
Earlier this week I said to Mike I was like I was like you know what we need to for smaller content we need to start focusing because we're going to start doing that a little bit.
But I was like I need to start taking some of my more abstract ideas and condensing it all down to like one minute content.
(02:47):
And we need to take Mike's like pages of reviews that he writes and like condense it down into like one minute worth of stuff.
And then we need to take Brendan's stuff and expand it into one minute's worth of stuff.
Yes.
Yeah I keep my stuff short and sweet.
Short and sweet.
That is what they that is what he does ladies and gentlemen.
(03:09):
So let's get into it.
I put Scrooge Scrooge.
Oh yeah.
So right in the beginning we get a very aggressive Santa Claus like killing people like trying to protect his family.
And I wrote down violent night to cross it out.
Fat Man to cross it out.
The night the reindeer died is such a great year.
(03:32):
I would rather be watching that movie rather be watching the night.
The reindeer.
At that point in the movie I'm like well this looks pretty damn good.
I'm not going to lie.
It looks great.
One of those fake trailers that if Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Tarantino picked up the night the reindeer died and went full 80s 80s cheese with it.
(03:53):
That's what I was the next Christmas grindhouse.
I would be totally into it.
Yeah.
The thing I was curious about did all drawer all desk drawers in the 80s have a mirror in them.
Oh yeah.
I don't even know what cocaine is.
Yeah.
I know when he opened the drawer.
That's an 80s thing.
I didn't even.
OK.
It's funny I right now when you said it when you said the words mirror in the drawer I thought cocaine.
(04:20):
Oh yeah.
Every time I've ever watched this movie not once have I thought he does cocaine because he doesn't actually do any lines of cocaine.
Not in the movie.
But what a direct not even subtle reference that my brain has never.
Oh you were probably a kid when you saw this.
No I've seen it.
I watch it off season sometimes.
I watch this movie multiple times a year sometimes.
I still pick it up until this time either.
(04:41):
So don't feel bad.
OK.
I watched it all the time too and I didn't I never noticed that.
I kind of watch movies differently for this than we do just watch.
Yeah.
Father Father loves Beaver was a funny.
OK.
Not cool.
Funny but not cool.
That's so funny.
Funny but not.
That's one of the best.
That's what some of this movie doesn't hold up in those ways.
(05:03):
Like.
Wait hold on.
I think that's one of the funny jokes in this.
It's hilarious but you would not make that joke would you.
Father loves Beaver making fun of.
What's the name of the show.
Everyone loves Beaver.
Leave it to be.
Leave it to be.
Everyone loves Beaver.
I'm seeing him.
Everyone loves.
Everyone hates Chris.
That's a different kind of show.
Everyone loves Raymond.
That's like a Skinamax version of that show.
(05:26):
Yeah.
Everyone loves Beaver.
I think that was just a funny play on words.
I don't think they went in the actual little fake little sitcom.
They didn't go too far.
No no no no.
It was just a play on words.
I'd say this movie in general.
There's other points in this movie and the other movie that we watched that are very.
Well I'll say that they're aged.
Yeah aged.
(05:47):
There are some parts in this that.
What is this movie rated by the way.
Is it R. Is it R. I don't think it's R. I think it's PG-13 because there's not like a lot of F bombs.
And there's only a little bit of nipple.
Yeah a little bit of nipple.
You hardly see the nipple.
Charles Dickens would want to see her nipples.
That was the.
You know.
So that's what I'm saying.
Some of this was a little.
(06:09):
I'll give you this.
If anything.
Character prevalent.
It made sense.
If you wanted a PG Scrooge which they could have made this into without changing much.
Then I agree with you that it would have made actually a more family friendly.
Right.
More accessible content.
Maybe some of the jokes that they let Bill Murray do like improvise come up you know whatever might be a little too far.
(06:37):
But at the same time it is what it is at this point.
It's a PG-13 you know teetering on an R with some of the nipples.
So like I'm OK with I'm OK with it having some poor taste jokes.
Yeah and I'm not but it just isn't kind of what I'm saying.
I'm OK with that too.
Look I love Violent Night.
I love R rated Christmas stuff.
Yeah.
(06:58):
The point the difference is you know it going in and in this you don't.
OK.
That's kind of what I'm getting at.
This is a movie that if you just hear about which obviously this far down the line no.
But if you just hear about you're going to say I can watch that with my kids and it's probably not really kid appropriate.
You know what I mean.
Well it's kind of it's it's kind of like Ghostbusters too like Ghostbusters.
(07:19):
It's it's family friendly but kind of not in a sense.
Groundhog's Day.
Family friendly but not not quite because he basically uses his powers his omnipresent godlike powers to like rape a girl.
Yeah.
In in in Groundhog's Day.
Like I understand that she willingly has sex with him so it's not technically rape if you go from his power to make her fall in love.
(07:40):
But he uses his power in a way that it takes advantage.
So yeah this is so actually by that logic you should know full well going into a Bill Murray movie where he kind of is the main character and he kind of has free reign in his head.
He kind of has free reign and it's PG 13.
This is what you should get.
I love the CEO.
So we got the Bill Murray is the president.
(08:02):
But I love the CEO how he's like so dogs and cats are watching more TV.
Let's let's put a little mouse or something to keep the cat for some pet appeal.
Make a dog channel though and they did.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
The real life is that there is a dog dog and cat channel.
I bet you that has to be from someone who watched this movie has to be someone watched this and thought that's not a bad idea.
(08:30):
Not a bad idea.
Let's make a book.
I mean I remember when we were younger you know we'd go somewhere we'd leave TV on for the dogs.
You know just I don't know why but like you keep them calmer for some reason the sound they would think someone's there like you know our dogs would get anxious or whatever separation anxiety for some odd reason.
Yeah and be you know howling or whatever when we left.
(08:51):
Well it's not TV on they think someone's there they hear voices and they feel better.
And now they have an actual cable channel for that's great.
Bluey is a show designed with only colors that dogs can specifically see.
I did not really.
Yeah.
Using colors that dogs can see.
I just found out recently Bluey is a girl.
Yeah.
Because someone so no when I went to Thanksgiving and I was and your son wanted me to play with the Bluey doll.
(09:16):
Yeah.
I was doing very much an Australian boy.
It's a kid.
I was doing it an Australian kid voice but it I was doing boy.
Now I need to change it I'll give it a more of a girl affect this next time.
I'll have to work on it.
I didn't know what I was I didn't research my role.
That's on me.
Usually when I do a performance I like to practice a little bit I like to be in.
(09:37):
I don't care if the audience is one three year old kid.
I now since you're making me watch all this your job is to watch one season of Bluey before you come over Thanksgiving.
You know what.
There's like 40 episodes a season though.
I'm not going to watch a whole season like 10 minutes but I'm sure they're like 15 20 minutes.
Yeah.
I'll get stone to watch a few episodes before coming over.
(09:59):
Look up the most look up the most impactful ones.
People people online will tell you which ones to watch.
I'll look up a list of best bluey.
I found it's weird just being a bluey on Facebook.
I just found the most random group of all time is just popped up in my feet.
No it's one frame of bluey every day and it's just it's one it's just a just a random frame of a bluey episode.
(10:24):
And that's it.
And it's usually it's usually just a weird it's one of those like they'll catch it like when it's a lazy animation moment transition or whatever.
It's great.
That's awesome.
And then I found out that the Simpsons actually they their animators put in like for some of the transitional stuff back in the day they would purposely put in nightmare looking versions of Bart and Homer and like whatever that you could only catch if you pause it at the exact one which they didn't expect people to be able to do especially when it was like VHS technology before DVDs came out.
(10:59):
And look we get to meet Lionel Luther from Mike. Oh Smallville. Yeah.
I was just you wouldn't have known who was in.
So Lex's father Lex Luther's father is a main character in Smallville.
Okay. And because Lex is a main character and it's his dad right so there's a lot of back and forth. And so he's the executive guy trying to take Bill Murray's job.
(11:24):
But if you see him in Smallville you would not think that he's the same guy because he's got a full beautiful beard super long curly hair in the in the Smallville show.
He's much older. Yeah. So like 2001 total Chad.
No no he doesn't.
He's actually 12 years later. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't seem like a Chad at all. He looks I mean he's a he's a villain. Well not a villain but he's like a powerful corporate guy. Yeah.
(11:50):
Okay.
I don't even know what who would you describe to compare him to.
Oh well it would be like I guess he's Bernie Bernie Madoff Bernie Madoff.
I was a modern one. Yeah.
Okay.
I don't even know.
I pulled that name out of nowhere.
(12:11):
But my last thing I guess about John Glover which is his name. The actor is he was the first time I ever noticed. So like you know how Chris Evans is double dipped as a torch and in Captain America.
John Glover has double dipped in the DC universe and he is Lionel Luther in Smallville. Can you guess his other one. No. Okay. It's he is one of the two scientists or one of the few scientists that help or betray Poison Ivy in the Batman movie.
(12:46):
And then she turns into Poison Ivy. He's one of the scientists that's like that like fuck her over in that gas and like leave her behind. So he's a small bit part. Small bit part. Oh yeah. He's not the one that talks in that one. No I don't think so.
He's not like but it's he's he's double dipping he's technically I could have been Lionel Luther before he got you know before he has money.
(13:07):
That was before Smallville. Yeah right. Yeah that was it was like several years before.
Yeah. But anyway there's your Smallville trivia trivia for the day Smallville. So he has a sign on the back of his wall that says cross a thing you nail or they nail people to because his last name is cross.
I'm like oh that's I would I would love that dude that I love when people take their last names and turn it into their whole identity. Yeah I just love the fried rice podcast.
(13:37):
And rice balls with Brennan in your eyes. Listen to our tiny grain of rice review of Deadpool.
The taxi driver that leaves the old lady behind is an asshole. Yeah.
It takes him instead. Yeah. He should have. He shouldn't have taken though. Yeah. Like I said that he should have known he wasn't going to get tip from Bill.
(14:00):
Like I stole the cab from this old lady. He's not going to fucking tip. Yeah. Get the fuck out. And that wasn't the that wasn't the Christmas pass.
No that was just the regular guy. Yeah. Like what a dick dude. It's like I don't I don't like that.
I mean that's probably how it is in New York though. Like I can imagine they just kind of Christmas pass though. Christmas pass was a real dick because he's got to be killing people left and right. Yeah.
(14:24):
He's going to be a cab driver. Listen I think he's operating strobe lighting in that cab alone would be enough to kill several people.
I would like to imagine that he I know you're Mike you're so on it. I think only Bill can see him though.
That you're on it. If he if he was physically in the same space as real humans. I'm with you.
He's he's a terrible he shouldn't exist. But I like to think of him as like the night bus from Harry Potter where it's just like it's doing its own fucking weird shit.
(14:53):
And he knows what's happening. Yeah. But yes he's and here's a little trivia for the kids at home and I guess everybody the guy that plays the taxi driver he's the singer of and this and the song that he hates that ruined his fucking life he says because everyone that's what they associate him with him that in this movie is feeling hot hot hot.
(15:17):
So you got to watch the music video. It's him. I mean it's 100 percent him. It's the ghost Christmas bad. It almost feels like a trick.
It almost feels like Bill Murray is looking at a TV and he's looking at the ghost of Christmas past pretending to be the singer of hot hot hot.
But it's absolutely him. I think his name is Frankie Valentine that maybe I'm not sure that it's kind of popping in my head.
(15:51):
And anyway random.
Bill Cross Bill Cosby wins the bill Bill Murray. What's his name in this movie. Frank Frank Cross. Yeah. OK. So Frank wins humanitarian of the year award.
That's wonderful.
(16:13):
That's just so it means whoever wins those things is bullshit. By the way check out our diehard episode where we had Bullhead City's humanitarian of the year.
I just wanted him to hear that if he listens to this.
The costume work and the makeup work and the whole design for let's just face it all three of the ghosts are all for great. Great.
(16:39):
But crosses old boss coming in. That was the best. Yeah. I love that. That's what a great scene.
The other dead seven years barely look for what a scary scene. What an intense scene. What a funny scene.
Like if you listen if you if it's not your first time watching it and you're listening for the jokes more than you're watching for the spectacle of it.
(17:01):
It's funny. It's like the lines going back and forth because it's taking me. It takes you multiple watches to really get the humor of that scene because I mean when you're a kid and you watch that scene it sticks out like holy shit.
That's such good makeup. Dude and when he sticks him out the window with his hand there and it rips off like he rips the flesh off and he falls. Terrifying. Absolutely. I get what you're saying like this for young children.
(17:25):
No. Yeah. Brendan's children three and five. No. You're but you're 13 year old. Absolutely. Yeah. 15 15 15 15 15. He's got to like nipples right.
Yeah. He doesn't like that's OK. OK. This is where we're at in the world. Twenty twenty five.
So yeah everyone has the pulse. I just literally listened to episode 11 of the Six Feet Under where one of the characters that we just covered today has a thing where she's like everyone has nipples.
(18:00):
You've grabbed them. You've sucked on them. It's like what's the problem. And Dexter from Dexter being a gay mortician of this one has to tell her like like well maybe not when you're working on a dead body.
Like you put your hard nipples in his face. We have a certain level of decorum. So there's a time and a place. So I put an amazing costume for Russell Boss.
(18:25):
Holy shit. That's a real number that they put up on the TV. I didn't call it but they have a not a five five five or three three three. I didn't call it. I usually do.
But it was late when I was watching it. I was like it's usually some person like but I normally do. If there's a like who hasn't called eight six seven five three oh nine or whatever.
So the golf ball bounces. Oh the golf ball bounces were not possible. It's weird but each bounce should have gotten smaller.
(18:55):
That's how physics works. So there's somebody literally was tossing the ball up back to him in that scene obviously and they misjudged but I guess the take was too good.
They didn't want to do anything. How old is Frank Cross supposed to be in this. Is he in his 40s. Would you say 45. I think it's Bill Murray and oh what am I keep saying.
(19:17):
No no I'm just saying Bill Murray. Oh he always looks that way. I don't know right now. He's 40 or 90. Well when they went back to the Christmas pass no idea.
When I went back to Christmas pass it was 1955 and he was what 10 maybe seven to 10 somewhere in that range. So you've been around like 40s. Yeah mid 40s mid 40s.
(19:38):
Is there's a lot of I don't know. It's hard to tell. When the flashback scenes to him as a much younger man 20 years ago whatever it doesn't like you're right.
Bill Murray just he's sort of one of those he's like a Paul Rudd if it wasn't handsome that he got stuck on if it was just Bill Murray face like Steve Martin.
Yeah. Yeah. He's a good looking guy. He's a good looking guy. But he's been what he was 25. Yeah. White hair look the same age he does now. Right. He looks the same even now.
(20:09):
Like it's crazy. Judy Dench 80. He looks like Judy Dench. She kind of looks the same every time I've ever seen a picture. Do you did for when she was M to now like Downton Abbey.
She looks like the same chip when they're 20 they look 45 and when they're 65 they look 45. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Don't age. Well it left me.
(20:31):
It left me. OK. So during the restaurant scene where cross meets you know Lionel Luther cross begins to see hallucinations and he like he pours he pours water on a fire right.
The funny thing is it's jokes like that. So that's the story is getting that when it's a lot of this movie doesn't hold up in that way like for people who don't know much.
(21:05):
The girls at work they would not get 80 percent of the jokes in this movie. They probably don't know who Richard Pryor is. Yeah they wouldn't know Richard Pryor was for that.
that he lit himself on fire free base.
I bet the same though this.
The same people that wouldn't get a lot of the jokes of this
are the same people that watched Deadpool and Wolverine
and didn't get a lot of jokes in that.
(21:25):
Yes. You know what I mean?
It's like there's a certain type of person
that is obsessed enough with pop culture, entertainment
and old cinema and old whatever that that's part of it.
Engrained in our DNA. We just love it.
Yeah, we do. Yeah. Yeah.
We know this stuff.
And but the thing is, that's a lot of people.
But then there's some people out there that do not give a fuck
(21:47):
about nothing about none of this stuff.
I want to see something that might be funny to them.
And yeah, they just want to sit there and have something playing
on the screen in front of them.
They don't care. They go to the bathroom.
You don't have to pause it. Don't worry.
And then at that point, you're like, what are we even fucking do?
And are we married? Yeah.
(22:07):
They're just NPCs at that point.
Yeah. Don't pause it.
It means you don't give a shit about nothing.
I told you this is one of my favorite movies, right?
Yeah. I'm going to pause it.
I saw a little video where the guys like, yeah, I want to pause it
and I'm going to rewind it to a little bit before we were.
So I'm going to force you to punish you.
I want to punish you to make you rewatch something
(22:28):
that you're obviously not into.
And I'll make you listen to me for two hours
afterwards explaining everything. Yeah.
Exactly. The waiter at some point, he says,
like, cross.
What's that over there?
As he's pointing to the baked Alaska, he goes, Oh, that's a baked Alaska, sir.
You wouldn't want that. It's a dessert.
And then he goes, OK.
(22:49):
And he goes, how about this over here?
And you guys like, Oh, that's the meatloaf, sir.
You wouldn't want that.
What the fuck is this waiter doing?
And why isn't he giving this customer what he wants?
Salesman. Yeah.
I'd like that thing over there. It looks great.
Oh, it's a dessert. OK, great. Thank you. I'll have it. Thank you.
Thanks. That's what I said. I'll have it.
But or oh, the meatloaf.
You said meatloaf. I love meatloaf.
(23:11):
Oh, no, sir. You wouldn't want that. Why?
Do you poison your meatloaf? Is the meat rat?
Is it human? What are we doing?
Don't now. I don't want it.
You fucking creep.
What should I get?
What did you dip your penis in your ball sack?
It was really wanting to get it.
Was that the only one?
And you're already past this.
I was waiting to see if you bring it up.
(23:32):
The second Bobcat came on screen.
Oh, yes. Excited.
Well, but OK, but thinking back, having seen this for the first time,
I did not recognize Bobcat.
No, not at all. Oh, because not until he talked.
Yeah, because of his hair. His hair being short.
You couldn't recognize him.
He didn't look anything like the Bobcat we all know.
Even when he talks, it's oh, no, he doesn't talk.
(23:54):
It's instant. I go, that's Bobcat.
Yeah, it does dial it back.
He dials back the Bobcat.
No, absolutely. It's dialed back, but it's still Bobcat.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
It's like the yeah.
He's like a nervous Bobcat.
It's a unique voice for sure.
But yeah, I like. Yeah, I forgot.
I didn't write any notes about that, but it is great that he.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, motherfucker.
(24:16):
By the way, that ad. Oh, Merry Christmas, fucker.
Yeah. Four minutes to get him out of the building.
Four minutes and 40 seconds to get him out of the building.
The ad that Bobcat has a problem with,
which is the one that Bill Murray wants to play is so funny.
It's explosions like
(24:36):
just terrorists, all sorts of shit.
And then Bobcat, sir, if you play that,
just people are going to be scared.
And then like the next day,
hey, by the way, a grandmother watched her last night and died.
Yes. Just get so excited.
I'm like, yep, he's irredeemable.
(24:58):
Real bad guy.
Uh, Ghost Cab goes through a truck in 1955.
But why did the trunk honk its horn?
Yeah, I was one of the same thing.
Yeah. Yeah. The ghost cab goes.
You're right. He goes.
He transitions to 55 and goes through the truck.
But the truck's like, oh, fuck.
(25:18):
And then like a ghost goes through him.
But you don't see the reaction of the truck, but you hear him.
Like he's about to crash.
And like every truck in every movie of all time, the honk
instead of break. Yeah.
It's like they forget which which ones which they go.
The horn must be the one that slows you down.
Oh, there's a teenager in the middle of the road.
Regina George from like a bus driver and it's Mean Girls.
(25:41):
It's some girls in the middle of the road.
Let me just put the horn on.
The moment you hear a horn before there's a collision
of a human person, I feel like you blame the driver
because if you didn't just hear screeching brake noises,
they didn't try to save your life.
Usually you're both.
It's like they just kind of push everything down.
(26:02):
Yeah. Maybe, you know, and it's kind of like, hey, try and should anyway.
But not in most movies.
In most movies, they just keep driving and so many hit runs
with truck drivers, bro.
They have a it's like they got to get those gay boy advances to fucking
wherever they're going.
It's Christmas, man.
(26:22):
It's Christmas.
Garden slugs get more out of life than you.
Oh, yeah. Name one.
I like that exchange. I wrote it down.
Just because well, because he said he did more things than just sit and watch TV.
And he's like, oh, yeah, name one name one accomplishment.
You know, that's what he was saying.
They want more of. And he couldn't name any.
(26:44):
He's like, I did this.
And he's like, nope, that was the show.
He started naming accomplishments like that.
He did like that's leave it to beaver.
Like, that's this. That's that.
Like, that's not you. Wait. Oh, oh, this is what he's
what he's when he's in the past looking at.
Yeah. He wasted your life watching TV.
And he's remembering all the moments that were like TV moments, but his moments.
(27:05):
Yeah. But you know what?
That's OK. Because the live life memory.
I I think the future is going to be memory hacks.
I this is I'm just I'm just thinking of this right now.
But I is I haven't thought of this prior to the but memory hacks,
because right now, if Bill Murray's character
can remember a leave it to beaver perfect Christmas with his family,
(27:28):
quote unquote, that's from the TV and he can remember it as clear as day,
then what's the difference between him remembering the real Christmas?
Right now, everyone's memory is fucked up and it's wrong.
And every every memory you have is wrong.
There's no correct memories, because even in
like you could everyone could watch the same event
(27:49):
and have different like details.
Yeah. Just like we watch the same movie and have different.
Exactly. Same way.
And so they do one takeaway from the final cut we watched a while ago.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That memory can be skewed. It can be.
And so think of if there was a way to
I don't know how probably using VR, probably using that new Neuralink stuff,
(28:12):
but being able to directly go back and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
and edit memories where all they have to do
is go to a traumatic point in your life, replace it with footage from Full House.
And it's like literally you then think for like a little bit of your
I mean, they would have to curate specific memories.
(28:33):
Yeah, that's getting more into the mirror.
Black Mirror Black Mirror type stuff.
Because I got to tell you, you don't know a lot of what you're
the reason your memories are skewed is because your brain does things to protect it.
So it wants you to forget.
It wants you to forget certain details or remember them different ways
on purpose because it protects you.
I think depressed people don't have that ability.
(28:54):
I feel like my brain doesn't have the it changes.
If anything, it might focus on certain things.
It amplifies the bad memories.
It takes them and makes them probably worse than they were. Sure. Right.
In a lot of ways to like punish me or something.
But it could also still be to protect you to let yourself not get in that situation.
Yeah. Your brain will do weird shit.
(29:16):
I don't know a lot of good memories.
I typically most of the time, it's a low light reel
playing in my head of all the worst things that's ever happened.
And like. That's normal.
Right. Good stuff, too.
You have good stories that you talk about stories most of them are pretty good.
Your whole European experience, like you talk about the bad,
but you talk about the good, too, you know.
(29:37):
Yeah. But I guess they don't normally go there as a memory.
I don't think you're when you're alone, you know.
Yeah. When you're alone, you don't focus on that.
So maybe I do need people. But that's normal, though.
Yeah. Yeah. Or cat.
You should get a cat, dude. Cats kill flies.
They kill bugs. Many bugs are in here.
Yeah. Like I was watching my cat yesterday, like my wife.
I hate it. She leaves the door open.
(29:58):
And like during the day, like she'll just leave the door wide open.
I'm like, just open the windows.
We have windows. Open the windows.
Doors wide open. Flies are coming in. Cats are going outside.
Is she as bad as my wife who did the same thing yesterday?
Let the door open all afternoon.
Sure. My mom's house next door. Right.
But the back door standing wide open.
I come back in. I'm out in the front yard.
You're cleaning up stuff.
I come back in, which is fine.
(30:19):
It should happens, whatever.
But that's not the problem.
The problem is then she comes back over from mom's house.
We start making dinner and she's like, where do all these flies come from?
You. Yeah.
But you can't, you know, sometimes you just got to keep the peace.
Yeah, it's true. That's true.
I just look at her like, I swear to God, one of these days, one of these days.
(30:42):
Alice, pow, straight to the moon.
But our cat was hunting the couple of flies we had in there.
And I was like, Andy needs a cat.
Cats are low maintenance. They're easy pets.
They're fun.
I think Andy has a maybe would have a cat box problem. Probably.
Yeah. Get a self cleaning cat box.
Oh, you mean like cleaning up the other creatures?
(31:04):
Well, just the smell of it and stuff like that.
Yeah. Just get it. Get it. Get it. Self cleaning cat box.
Changes the trash bag and good.
They do make those. Yeah.
I mean, I don't I.
Are you guys big cat?
I love cat. What do we do?
Why are you trying to sell? I don't like animals personally,
but my wife loves cats and we have a cat. Yeah.
And it's OK, but because it's very dog like our cat.
(31:26):
Some of them are.
No, with my luck, I'm going to get a skittish fucking cat
that doesn't want to hang out and like.
But you know what? Hey, it'll probably take after me.
You know, just want to be left alone.
And then it'll need a cat to keep it company.
The cat will need a cat or it'll need a mouse
and the mouse will need a like a something.
(31:46):
I'm in Jerry running around.
Yeah. It'll be a reverse.
Cat will kill Randy. Yeah.
I knew an autistic boy who once swallowed a fly
in front of his cat
who was autistic as well.
There was a mouse involved.
If we can write this book, kids book.
You give them to Andy a cat.
They're both going to be autistic.
(32:07):
Andy gets a cat. It's a cat.
Andy gets a cat.
There was a boy named Andy and he just got himself a cat.
Said he needed people in his life and said, got a cat. Yeah.
Easy. He felt so he felt so sad about himself
(32:27):
because he was so fat.
The cat came in
and made him happy, filled him up with joy.
Andy's too weird about cat bodies
to find out if it was a girl or a boy.
This would be the autistic version of it.
(32:50):
Back to the movie.
Yeah. So no smoking when audience is present is a funny.
Yeah. Just a funny thing.
Funny. Yeah. Just a funny sign to have in a in a flashback.
Like you're in the flashback when he was in the dog costume.
Although I did think it was kind of weird that like he didn't go
all the way backstage before taking the head off the dog.
(33:12):
Costumes. Yeah.
The kids were right there to sit there watching.
Just like, well, there's the magic of the show. Yeah.
I'd hate to be a live studio audience member
and have that ruined for you. Yeah, it sucked.
And you know, the live studio audience members are the ones
that are the biggest fans. Yeah.
They'd be like going to see Barney live and then like.
Like Mickey Mouse, like the ones at Disney World.
I think they would let their I think they let their actors die
(33:34):
or pass out before they take the mask off.
That's true.
It's crazy. They just drag them back.
Yeah. Mickey's OK.
He's stroking falls down.
They just drag him off.
They'll let him die before
they take that fucking thing off.
They'll hide behind that weird green paint that they put on stuff
(33:54):
to make you not notice it. Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy.
So, oh, who's who is Dick Burton?
They make a reference to Dick Burton.
And I just looked him up on IMDb and he's the father.
And oh, because it's the homeless guys are like, Oh, yeah.
Richard Burton, good old Dick Burton.
Do a thing. Do the do the do the exorcist to do whatever.
(34:16):
And I looked him up and yeah, it's and then Bill Murray does a
impression of him. But yeah, I was just it's interesting
that he's a real I didn't know about him.
Claire or Andy McDowell from Groundhog's Day.
Who do I love the most?
Claire from Scrooged, Andy McDowell, Groundhog's Day.
(34:37):
Who would you rather be with?
Because they're both sweet.
They're both beautiful.
And look past this flaw.
I'm going with Carol Kane.
Oh, OK.
That's the ghost of Christmas. Yeah.
Yeah, she was hot.
That was that was definitely a childhood crush as a kid.
I think it was it was the combination of the look and the voice.
(34:58):
Yeah, all of it.
I would even take her from
the Princess Bride Princess Bride.
I had to. Yeah.
If that's the only Carol Kane I can get.
Yeah, but she's not on the list.
I would say probably I've always think I think Groundhog's Day.
And it's tough because yeah, again, Sanlott,
(35:19):
she was the mom in Sanlott and which one Claire Claire.
Oh, yeah. Was Claire also Lois Lane?
I think she was, wasn't she? Or no.
Is that yeah. Yeah.
Was she Lois Lane?
No, she's so I think she was somebody else or she in Superman.
I thought she was.
(35:40):
I thought so, too. She looks like Lois Lane.
I might be wrong, though.
Oh, yeah.
At the homeless shelter, the fuse situation
when the volunteers go up like we need fuses, we need what?
He's like, well, go in the phone book and look it up.
I'm like, what a fucking asshole, dude.
And then I put that Claire is way, way, way too forgiving of Frank.
(36:06):
At that point, it's like never talk to me again.
You fucking jerk.
So maybe Claire is honestly you can get away with murder with Claire.
She's pretty forgiving. She kind of comes right back.
I change it to Claire. Amy McDowell is too independent.
Yeah. I like my women submissive.
Let's go handmaid's tale.
Twenty twenty five, baby.
Trump's Trump's world revenge tour.
(36:26):
Your body, my choice.
Who? America.
That is such a bad take.
Yeah, I know.
Guy that that guy that wrote that for the white supremacist piece.
Fucking shit. Nick Puentes.
Yeah. Didn't abortion pass in every single state it was on?
We're not doing.
We're not. But I do think.
But thank God we've had women's rights enshrined,
(36:47):
at least in the Constitution of the States.
Oh, and then this is where we get him saying bah humbug.
He says it ironically, but he still says it, which I like.
I like that they gave him a bah humbug.
And in the in the right moment, too, where he's using it ironically,
but then at the same time, he's also saying to her, fuck Christmas bah humbug.
(37:10):
Does he not see the parallels between Scrooge and his own life?
That's one of the things I especially for being such a TV person,
and especially for him putting on a production of Scrooge.
Yeah, he should see the pair.
He even says Charles Dickens would want nipples.
How does he not know?
Actually, or is it that he does know?
And that's why he doesn't question the ghost as much as Scrooge does.
(37:32):
So like when he meets the first ghost, he kind of just goes with it
because he's like after he's like, oh, well, fuck shit. All right.
Let's just do this then.
Yeah. Like, so it kind of just rolls with it.
He rolls with it.
So maybe he does kind of be like he's like, all right,
because he does say bah humbug at that point.
Yeah. So I don't know.
(37:52):
Bitch hit me with a toaster. Yeah, that's great.
My favorite scene in the whole movie.
Which way we hit him, where she just beat me.
Yeah, she just beat them.
Wait, which who beat who? Harold King.
Oh, yeah. Bill Murray with the household items over and over.
Yeah, I remember that.
(38:14):
Bryce, which is the name of Lionel Luther's character,
him coming up behind and doing the hand massage thingy on the shoulder.
I fucking hate when people do that.
Don't touch me. If I don't if you're not in a relationship with me,
that we've established that I like you to touch my shoulders.
Yeah. Do not touch me.
Do not touch me at all.
(38:35):
I've made this point several times throughout my career on stage and and
in audio, and I just say, I don't care who you are.
Don't touch me.
And imagine how many women have to put up with that constant.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like touch. Yeah.
It's it's constant. Yeah.
And it's still like that, too.
Like it's it's gotten a lot better, but it's better to use to be.
(38:56):
Yeah. Yeah. It's still like that.
I never go for a hug first with anybody.
You guys know me.
We don't even do fist bumps very often.
No handshakes. I I'm just cool not touching people.
Hey, what's up? Yeah. Hey, good enough.
There's a so there's like there's, you know, women and girls that I know that
what girls not I don't know any girls girls, but like like
(39:20):
like the girls that we work with.
Yeah, they I think know I'm not a hugger, but they I think are huggers
with everyone else.
So it's like they know I'm not that guy.
And I think other people are starting to realize it, too, because like
even Ashley at the show last night, she saw me.
I think she was going to make a move and then she just stopped herself
and then just said, hey, I was like, hey, she noticed I wasn't.
(39:42):
I wasn't hugging nobody.
Yeah. We might have her in Kentucky on for another another girl
in Kentucky on for our.
That Santa episode, which could be a lot of fun.
Yeah, which.
It is already out just came out.
Yeah, yeah, so that's fine.
(40:04):
This is how time works.
That's how time works.
Ghost of Christmas present.
Yeah, it's my favorite.
Kicking him in the balls, punching him.
That's right. That's where I'm at.
Didn't know his assistant's husband was killed.
Damn, that's oh, yeah.
He didn't know. He didn't know.
He didn't know.
He thought she was just wearing black.
Yeah. For a year. Oh, God.
He didn't know that.
It's like her husband was murdered, bro, like in front of her child.
(40:28):
And that's why it doesn't talk like, holy shit, you know nothing.
What a dick.
That's a weird family thing
where they all blow raspberries on their grown ass brother's chest. Yeah.
I'm like, and I don't like the Bill Murray.
Does he use that later?
He's like, I love it.
I love when we rose raspberries on each other.
(40:48):
Well, because he does it to Bobcat later.
And I'm going to start doing this now.
I'm going to be this guy now. So weird.
Such a weird take to take away from that.
Oh, God, I wanted Bobcat to kill him so bad.
I love when he's singing and doing the firing and everything.
Like, it's just so much fun. Yeah, that's that whole.
And I did write down that bit.
That bitch hit me with a toaster.
(41:09):
I just wasn't there yet. I know it's.
In the sewer. Where are we? Trump Tower.
That's a line like that aged appropriately
to Frank, best brother a guy could have on a handmade
picture frame lies.
(41:30):
He knows it. Frank knows it.
What is he doing? He should just said Merry Christmas.
Best wishes. Love you, brother.
His brother loved him as a good little brother.
Loving his older brother, but best brother of all time.
His only brother, but best brother of all time.
If he only had one brother, that's the best brother you ever had.
Well, my granddaughter, she's my favorite granddaughter all the time.
The only granddaughter I have.
(41:51):
The only one I got.
I have two sisters. Yeah.
Not my favorite sisters.
Neither one. Neither one.
No, I mean, I definitely have a favorite sister.
No, I mean, I have other I have other sisters.
I'd probably pick a spade like other
friend sisters or whatever.
Or even other people's sisters.
(42:12):
Yeah, but that's more.
I feel like that's that the family dynamic has kind of changed
throughout the years.
I feel like the 80s was like very much like blood as family.
Whereas like your family, the intermediate family 90s is kind of 90s.
2000s is kind of when we change it to like we pick our families.
Now, the blended families, extended families and friends of family.
I think maybe that's a reflection on our families because
(42:35):
man, them girls at work, they're close. Yeah.
Yeah, they're very close. Yeah.
No, it's I guess just to each family, their own. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I like hanging out with my friends more than my sisters, I guess. Yeah.
So I didn't spend a lot of time with them. Yeah.
And now I live in a different state.
So and then, you know, I never call and it's part of being an adult.
Yeah. How often do you talk to your sister? Not very often.
(42:57):
What's your brother? Once a year, I'm going to go.
This will be I haven't talked about brother in literally three years
until I go, we're going in March to his daughter's wedding.
You know, I mean, I mean, I'll say something on Facebook or whatever.
But as far as like calling on the phone or whatever, we don't do that.
My youngest sister will call me occasionally.
Just like, hey, how are you doing?
We haven't talked in a while. Yeah.
Hope you're doing well. It's just weird to me.
(43:18):
I don't know what it is. Yeah.
It's like what it is. It's like friends checking in.
It's like a friend that used to have. Yeah.
That but you're required to keep in your life.
They talk to my wife more often, though, I would say.
My wife keeps in contact with everybody for me.
Like, I don't want to talk on the phone.
I hate the phone is part of my problem.
Talk to my buddies on the phone occasionally, like once a month,
(43:41):
once every two weeks. But I talk to my parents all the time.
Yeah, I like them.
Yeah, I talk to my dad a lot on the phone.
I like my one of my sisters. Pretty cool.
Anyway, this is all right, Frank.
Baham. Baham.
I like how the ghost of Christmas
future comes out of the TV was a cool transition.
(44:04):
No security for like eight shotgun blasts.
So we're going on.
They got the the fastest elevator door of all time.
He jumps into the elevator and it closes immediately
before Bobcat can get a shot off. Yeah. OK. Without hitting any buttons.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did they air this live on Christmas where it ends at midnight?
(44:28):
Because that's how they're sort of framing it.
They're like they're like Christmas is like Christmas is in 12 minutes or whatever.
I'm like, what does that mean? Is it mean midnight?
So this went on from like nine to midnight.
Probably. You know, you say it's something in the theaters.
I'm talking about the live production of Scrooge that Frank Cross was putting on.
Was that airing nine to midnight?
(44:50):
Like nine to midnight New York time, maybe. OK.
Like, isn't he got the West Coast that's earlier?
Yeah, I just thought it was weird.
When future ghost is done with him, he checks the time and says, yeah, a quarter till.
Have we missed it? Yeah.
So that's like it's a quarter. So that's why.
How can they slow motion follow a flipped coin in a live production?
(45:14):
Yeah. I'm just saying the coin flips from Scrooge.
You follow the coin and then it lands in the kids.
They the only thing I could think of is that they use.
That's the one sheet that they did, or maybe they had a few cheats, but it was like a
three shot pre-recorded coin in the air.
And then they just used that. Sure.
(45:35):
And then that could have worked.
I didn't think about the power of editing Saturday, not lifestyle.
Yes. Yeah. The SS Minnow.
And answering the question.
Yeah. During the speech at the end, that opens up a weird idea
that ghosts are real and that he could prove it.
So like he he can go to his brother and he's like,
(45:58):
can I tell you how I knew about the SS Minnow?
His brother be like, OK, he's like, great.
I totally got Scrooge.
They I got visited by some ghosts.
One of them was ghost Christmas present.
I watched your guys is like little game.
Like I watched it happen.
Brothers like, no, you did it.
I was like, how the fuck do you think not what?
(46:18):
20 minutes later, I'm on live TV and I'm saying like SS Minnow, buddy.
Like talking about the gift. I got you.
Yeah. Talking about the gift.
Bro, like that, that's Scrooge to Scrooge to is really the world.
Ghostbusters one. Yeah.
(46:38):
So he comes he dedicates his life to the study of ghosts
after meeting three of them and being done with the TV game
because he's like kind of over it or whatever.
I don't know. I like that idea.
Yeah, I like the idea.
My my only rewrite of this movie, honestly, is to make Bill Murray not.
I'm going to go through all that and still be a fucking ass.
(47:00):
People. So you don't want the Christmas carol.
Yeah, just want to know. I want him to try.
I want him to like try.
And then he gets the and he's like, now fuck all y'all.
He just reverts right back to it.
When Elliot fires a shotgun in the booth and tells them all to party,
there's an overweight lady
who cries while doing a chicken dance in the very front.
(47:23):
It's very distracting, very funny.
But there's just this lady going,
she's just crying and she's flapping her arms up and down.
And she's so scared she's going to die.
That's fucking hilarious.
The censor lady rape kisses Lionel Luther
Bryce. He definitely does not want her tied up.
(47:45):
He's tied up and she aggressively goes after him.
She's heavily concussed.
I will give her that excuse.
She's been beat to shit this entire fucking movie.
She's not in her right mind.
The speech he gives at the end is basically a very Murray Christmas.
That's kind of the vibe you get when you watch that other Netflix show.
Is it coming out like, hey, all right, you know, like, let's do Christmas.
(48:08):
Like when he's talking to the audience.
It's a part of the movie. I hate it.
Yeah, we'll get it. Yeah.
I think that's all ad libbed a lot or a lot of it's ad libbed.
He did a lot of ad libbing in this movie.
I know him and the director fought a lot.
Like after the movie came out, he was like, Bill Murray said,
this could have been a great movie, but they left a lot on the floor.
Bill Murray fought with the director every time.
I can't imagine every director he works with.
(48:30):
He said that this could have been great, but he left a lot.
They left a lot on the floor.
Yeah. We have the rated R cut of this.
The Snyder cut would be awesome.
I there's a scene where she gets in the so.
So Claire gets in the ghost taxi cab again,
really opening up the possibility of ghost shit.
(48:51):
And she says, can you get me to the IBC tower in five minutes?
He says, yes, sweetheart. Which floor?
At that point, I get out of the cab.
Yeah. Because I'm like, what do you mean?
Driving into the building.
Are you going to kill us?
Are you about to 9-11 us before we knew what that was?
If I was watching the Scrooge special as a regular person
(49:14):
watching the live Scrooge special with Buddy Hackett and all that stuff
with Mary Lou Redden, I would be so fucking pissed
with Bill Murray coming out and having this weird personal
talking to his brother, getting the cast involved, laughing.
Hey, we're all having fun here. Hey, look, it's just a production.
(49:35):
Look at all the behind the scenes shit.
Like I got trouble.
I almost stapled reindeer to things.
You just paid three hundred dollars for this ticket to watch me go off.
Yeah. Yeah.
And so he's just he's I mean, he's basically just he ruins
the Scrooge production, even though everyone loves it at the end,
which that's the most unrealistic part.
(49:58):
Yes, Mike, him coming out and doing the speech is the worst part of this movie.
I wish it didn't end this way.
I wish that he didn't come out and ruined the live special.
I wish that he.
Tag a scene on the end.
This is what happened. This is how you end it.
This is how you end it.
He gets done with Ghost of Christmas Future.
(50:19):
He is about to walk into the studio as it's about to do the big finale
and he can take all the credit.
And then instead, he stops at the doorway and he goes, no,
there's something more important.
And he turns around.
And then as he's going to go find Claire at the home of Selzer,
(50:39):
she finds him out front.
That's how you end it. Right.
That's a much sweeter ending.
Because that way he's not doing like this hokey
talk in the fucking audience of the movie.
I felt we got no sweetness in the end.
There's a story to start out, Charles.
In other words, like the story.
Yeah, we got none of that sweet ending to the story.
We got it.
It takes Claire up on on on.
It's like, hey, give me kiss, baby.
(51:00):
And she's like, I don't want to do this right now.
And then the talk to the audience in the theaters, which was stupid, stupid,
because maybe maybe it wasn't if you saw it in the theaters the first time.
But that's one time.
And then every rewatch of this, you're like, who the fuck is he talking to?
I was in here with me and my wife, watch this movie.
Now all the girls, now all the boys shut the fuck up.
(51:23):
Yeah. Bill Murray addressing the audience of the theaters.
Us is weird.
I wonder if people actually sing that in the theaters.
I cannot imagine it.
Yeah, I don't think so.
You know, it's crazy is that it would probably only take one or two people
to start it, to really get it going. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, uh, but who's brave enough to do that?
(51:46):
Is that so weird?
It was theater kids.
Yeah. Theater kids. I bet if there were some theater kids,
you could maybe get a group of people that would do it together.
But in a general average movie theater, I imagine if it's like if if if they were
hoping that this movie would get the cult following, like, you know,
a Rocky Horror picture film, things like that.
It was a Rocky Horror show.
Everybody's singing horror picture film. Yeah.
(52:08):
Rock Rocky Horror.
The prequel to Rocky Horror picture.
Yeah. The Rocky Horror picture film.
Documentary about your vision.
I just found it really bad.
Took me out of everything else.
I was like, oh, well, this sucks.
Yeah, it's like it's like they didn't stick the landing.
I'll give you very it was very amateurish.
(52:29):
It shows that he changed his ways.
He's giving he gives his assistant a raise that she deserves and the bonus.
And, you know, calls his brother out and says, you know, I need to be better.
Like it's it shows that he changed and he grew. I love what they're doing.
My favorite thing is when he above that speech is him talking to his brother
through the TV. Like that's super fucking sweet and awesome.
(52:49):
Yeah. This movie's 95 percent perfect.
I think the comedy's there.
I think the makeup and effects are there.
I think the acting is there.
I think the story's there.
I think it's a great parallel of like he's a Scrooge,
but he's not named Scrooge putting on a Scrooge performance.
It's so good, so nuanced.
(53:10):
All these things that make him kind of meta before meta. Yes.
Yeah. Any any any also?
The way he's an asshole throughout this,
still, he's kind of likable.
Like you can tell why he got Murray, right?
You can tell how he got to where he was.
Thank God it wasn't who they offered to originally, Michael Keaton. Yeah.
(53:30):
This would not have worked with my.
I love my key. I love Michael Keaton.
She's got the right part.
He's too nice. Totally different movie. Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, it would be a different movie. Yes.
He plays a good asshole, but not as good as Bill Murray.
Not as good at that.
And not as face is not. Yeah, it's just not the wrong way.
It's just not. It's more dramatic.
So Johnny Dangerously was a pretty funny movie.
(53:51):
I was slapstick.
Ashley Dancy, who we should have on soon.
Last night when we were hanging out the show, she said,
Michael Keaton, she's like, you know, Michael Keaton.
I'm like, yes, I know.
And she's like and she's like and I was just like, what are you talking?
Mr. Mom talking.
And I was about to say multiplicity, but then she's like a movie called
(54:13):
multiplicity. I was like, yeah, I know.
They're all clones.
And she's like, yeah. And I was like, and they fuck his wife.
Yeah. Yeah. And then she said earlier,
this is just a interesting exchange.
But I heard her wrong.
We were talking about strip clubs.
And she's like, the one thing you got to look for strip clubs
are her beats.
(54:34):
And I was like and I had to I didn't want to say anything.
So I turned to Kentucky. I was like.
What the hell are our bees?
And she's like, what do you mean? I was like, I was like,
as strip club, you go look up for her bees.
She's like herpes.
I was like, oh, fucking idiot.
Such a fucking moron.
(54:54):
But I wanted to be one of the cool kids.
I don't want to embarrass myself.
That's why I turned to Kentucky.
So hopefully we'll have them on soon.
I give this a B. I mean, it's a solid B.
It would get a B plus for me.
I think if it wasn't for that last ending part.
But other than that, this is a solid of a fun
for adults and teens
(55:15):
Christmas movie.
You know, it's not a kids Christmas movie.
It's not Jingle All the Way.
And that's great.
Like Jingle All the Way had its charm.
Scrooge has its charm.
It's less charming.
That's the thing. It's not charming.
It's kind of that's the thing with it.
It almost it has so much negative to it.
I don't mean the movie itself.
(55:37):
I'm just saying it's it's got negative feels in the movie.
Yeah. It doesn't feel like Christmas.
Yeah. That's my only that and the ending are my two issues with this movie.
It's not bad.
But it's not to me.
It doesn't feel like Christmas.
You know, that that warm Christmas feeling.
I would if somebody had the argument.
And I think that's because they were in the ending.
(55:58):
It's Scrooge to Christmas movie.
I would maybe argue maybe not.
Maybe not. Yeah. But it kind of is.
Kind of is. Yeah. It's kind of like Die Hard.
It's sad at Christmas. Yeah.
But it's not a Christmas movie.
You know what I mean? It's like you give it as a grade out of our.
By the way, until we change our until we change our our our
B is as high as it gets with us.
(56:18):
Right. So that was really an A.
So B, C, D, E or B, C, D, F.
And then we have W for waste of time if it gets that bad.
So we only do B movies typically, even though this isn't one.
It doesn't matter. Our whole thing is fucked.
It's changing.
You know, we love you nor a grading system for a few more weeks.
Yeah. A few more episodes until the end of the year. Yeah.
(56:41):
So, yeah, B is my highest.
So C, you said? OK.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely give it.
If that was.
It's OK. It'll average out, Andy.
I give it a B as well. Nice.
It's a solid movie. It's definitely one of those ones.
I love it. Yeah, I love it.
Even even the ending. I enjoy it.
I enjoy the kind of just silly quirkiness of the conversing with the audience
(57:04):
and telling everybody, stop watching the fucking TV.
Go spend time with family. It's Christmas.
What are you doing?
You know, which is it's true because every year at Christmas,
you always have the TV on, but it's usually just background noise.
Like you kind of it's always Christmas story or something along those lines,
playing 24 hours and you just kind of catch bits and pieces of it.
Except, of course, this year, we're at Christmas on Christmas Day.
(57:27):
Yeah, I'm going to have to tell my whole family to sit down and shut the fuck up.
There's a football football game.
Oh, the chiefs play this Christmas play on Christmas Day.
Is there usually a Christmas game?
Yeah, it is, but it's usually some bullshit game that means nothing.
And this year, they have like an important game on two big teams,
chiefs and Steelers on Christmas, like the number one and two seed.
(57:47):
They're probably going to be playing for the one seed for playoffs.
It's like going to be a big game.
And of course, after watching, which I don't know if any of you did
the boxing match. Oh, I watched my wife did.
It was all shit. Yeah. What a boring fight.
Well, not only that, they couldn't.
The streaming was boring.
Oh, yeah. It was funny. Austin and I were watching.
It's just like, God, the quality was like it's a fucking potato.
(58:10):
It was it was great until the main event. Yeah.
It's oh, yeah. Yeah.
Once everybody turned it on, it was like, yeah.
Once the main fight started, it went to shit.
Yeah, that was one of the most boring fights ever.
Yeah. My wife said the fight before was much.
It was great. The girl fight.
The girl fight was great. Yeah, that's what she said.
She said they were bad asses.
It's like they're one of them was bleeding the whole time.
And they were she was like, they're going to stop the fight.
(58:32):
But she doesn't want them to. Yeah.
That's cool. I didn't watch the fight before.
We just got back from the show. Yeah.
And then we turned on the Tysif I were just sitting just bored.
Just thinking like, dude, it sucks. There must have been.
It was when I hear the word rigged.
Now I think like, yeah, I mean, Jake Paul should have knocked his ass out.
Should like like should not Mike Tyson out at that point.
(58:53):
At that point in the fight once it was interesting fight
because if you watched it at the beginning, yeah, Tyson rocked him.
Oh, yeah. At the very beginning of the fight.
Round one, Tyson rocked him once.
And you could tell at that point. And then he backed off.
And then he got tired after that.
I think they had certain rules to well, hit him in the face.
I think, oh, yeah, they didn't.
(59:13):
But their only rule, I think they had that rule kind of.
Yeah, they between them.
They were collecting a bag.
Yeah, I think they were collecting a bag. Yeah.
Forty million dollars.
Like, come on. Yeah.
Keep our faces pretty.
Oh, whatever.
No, it's funny.
I went by the other store at one point to get something.
And it was while the main event was on and I get there and they were dead.
(59:36):
And like we were busy up until about right before the main event started.
And they were only at like twenty five hundred for the day.
But they were playing the fight in there.
And I get there. It's the seventh round.
Like the end of the seventh round, the eighth about start.
I'm like, they both look like fresh. Yeah.
They look tired, but they look fresh.
Like this sucks. No damage. Yeah. Yeah.
Weren't even trying. No. No damage.
(59:58):
There's like not one of them was leaving with a black eye.
Yeah. It's like nothing.
Just lead up. Just I want to I would want to rearrange Mike Tyson's face tattoo.
You know, like make it not look right after you're done with them.
But, you know, or Jake Paul just fucking break, break him.
So he can't influence shit in a hospital broken from the back.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
(01:00:19):
You have to shit in a fucking bag for now on.
But anyway, that's how we like to end our Christmas episodes
is with a little bit of current pop culture
that's going to age just like this movie.
Yes. Sort of poorly.
They're like, why are you talking about this now?
That was months ago.
Months ago was last month. Yeah.
But anyway, so bah humbug and all that with this has been another exciting
(01:00:42):
camp, eight crazy nights of Christmas over four or four or 14.
And we're not we're not.
We can't do math.
I don't even know when this was this could be the last one, the first one.
Who knows?
So when I say another, it could be.
And thank you for joining us on the first or and this has been our final.
I don't think it's our final.
Yeah. Final one is actually eight crazy nights.
(01:01:02):
And we don't we don't know that that's our final one because we filmed that.
We recorded that a year ago.
Yeah. So they don't have it yet.
No, I've asked Jesse a thousand fucking.
Oh, no. With me as always, it's Brennan.
All I want for Christmas.
Wait.
(01:01:24):
How does that song go?
You're trying to be Mariah Carey.
But how does it go?
Oh, oh.
How does the song go?
All I want for Christmas is you.
All I want for Christmas
is Shipley up to Boston.
I don't think you'll hear the eight crazy nights.
(01:01:45):
Sorry, people.
Yeah, we're really, really trying.
And with us as always, it is Michael Bobcat Goldwaite Larson.
Have a good week, everybody.
I've been your host, Andy Rice.
This has been Fried Rice podcast.
This has been a Christmas special part of an eight crazy night series or so.
(01:02:07):
Thank you. Good night.
(01:02:37):
The high he's going to go on a tangent soon.
The guys are standing by.
It's a Friday, right? Christmas.
Let's all smoke some pot.
We love all of our listeners.
You all mean a lot.
(01:02:58):
It's a Friday, right?
Christmas. Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
It's a fried rice Christmas.
(00:05):
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
Ba humbug everybody.
And I hate Christmas.
No you don't.
That's all I had planned.
I love Christmas.
(00:26):
Welcome to another eight miserable nights of Christmas.
I'm your host Andy Scrooge Rice.
And this is Fried Rice Podcast.
Let's get fried.
With me as always it's Brennan.
I couldn't think of a bad like a oh Brennan.
Brennan got ran over by a reindeer.
(00:50):
Just the eve right before Christmas Day.
No one knew if his mustache would make it.
It might still be floating up this day.
Shipley of the Boston.
Hello everybody.
In case you're wondering none of this is pre-planned.
Oh yeah yeah.
(01:11):
All these songs are off the cuff baby.
With us as always it is Michael Ba humbug.
He's Scrooge.
He's the turkey that Scrooge pies at the end of the movie.
He's the he's the puppets version of the Christmas Carol.
He's the ghost of Christmas future Christmas past and Christmas present.
(01:36):
He is death reincarnate.
He's a floating little ballerina fairy.
He's a taxi driver from hell.
He is Michael Larson.
If I'm anyone in this movie it's Bobcat.
It's Bobcat.
You're absolutely fucking right.
Oh I named every character in this except for the dog that he dresses up as and Bobcat.
(02:01):
And welcome everybody.
If you haven't guessed it already we're doing Scrooge baby.
Bill Murray.
Look it up IMDB if you want to know what year it came out.
I'm not writing these things down anymore.
We're just taking notes.
We watched it recently.
Here's some of our thoughts.
I like to nitpick.
Mike likes to do similes and comparisons to kind of give you a more artistic point of view.
(02:23):
And Brendan likes to listen and hang out with occasionally.
He's got something to say.
It's always a pleasure.
Earlier I know it's important when he says it.
That's right.
Earlier this week I said to Mike I was like I was like you know what we need to for smaller content we need to start focusing because we're going to start doing that a little bit.
But I was like I need to start taking some of my more abstract ideas and condensing it all down to like one minute content.
(02:47):
And we need to take Mike's like pages of reviews that he writes and like condense it down into like one minute worth of stuff.
And then we need to take Brendan's stuff and expand it into one minute's worth of stuff.
Yes.
Yeah I keep my stuff short and sweet.
Short and sweet.
That is what they that is what he does ladies and gentlemen.
(03:09):
So let's get into it.
I put Scrooge Scrooge.
Oh yeah.
So right in the beginning we get a very aggressive Santa Claus like killing people like trying to protect his family.
And I wrote down violent night to cross it out.
Fat Man to cross it out.
The night the reindeer died is such a great year.
(03:32):
I would rather be watching that movie rather be watching the night.
The reindeer.
At that point in the movie I'm like well this looks pretty damn good.
I'm not going to lie.
It looks great.
One of those fake trailers that if Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Tarantino picked up the night the reindeer died and went full 80s 80s cheese with it.
(03:53):
That's what I was the next Christmas grindhouse.
I would be totally into it.
Yeah.
The thing I was curious about did all drawer all desk drawers in the 80s have a mirror in them.
Oh yeah.
I don't even know what cocaine is.
Yeah.
I know when he opened the drawer.
That's an 80s thing.
I didn't even.
OK.
It's funny I right now when you said it when you said the words mirror in the drawer I thought cocaine.
(04:20):
Oh yeah.
Every time I've ever watched this movie not once have I thought he does cocaine because he doesn't actually do any lines of cocaine.
Not in the movie.
But what a direct not even subtle reference that my brain has never.
Oh you were probably a kid when you saw this.
No I've seen it.
I watch it off season sometimes.
I watch this movie multiple times a year sometimes.
I still pick it up until this time either.
(04:41):
So don't feel bad.
OK.
I watched it all the time too and I didn't I never noticed that.
I kind of watch movies differently for this than we do just watch.
Yeah.
Father Father loves Beaver was a funny.
OK.
Not cool.
Funny but not cool.
That's so funny.
Funny but not.
That's one of the best.
That's what some of this movie doesn't hold up in those ways.
(05:03):
Like.
Wait hold on.
I think that's one of the funny jokes in this.
It's hilarious but you would not make that joke would you.
Father loves Beaver making fun of.
What's the name of the show.
Everyone loves Beaver.
Leave it to be.
Leave it to be.
Everyone loves Beaver.
I'm seeing him.
Everyone loves.
Everyone hates Chris.
That's a different kind of show.
Everyone loves Raymond.
That's like a Skinamax version of that show.
(05:26):
Yeah.
Everyone loves Beaver.
I think that was just a funny play on words.
I don't think they went in the actual little fake little sitcom.
They didn't go too far.
No no no no.
It was just a play on words.
I'd say this movie in general.
There's other points in this movie and the other movie that we watched that are very.
Well I'll say that they're aged.
Yeah aged.
(05:47):
There are some parts in this that.
What is this movie rated by the way.
Is it R. Is it R. I don't think it's R. I think it's PG-13 because there's not like a lot of F bombs.
And there's only a little bit of nipple.
Yeah a little bit of nipple.
You hardly see the nipple.
Charles Dickens would want to see her nipples.
That was the.
You know.
So that's what I'm saying.
Some of this was a little.
(06:09):
I'll give you this.
If anything.
Character prevalent.
It made sense.
If you wanted a PG Scrooge which they could have made this into without changing much.
Then I agree with you that it would have made actually a more family friendly.
Right.
More accessible content.
Maybe some of the jokes that they let Bill Murray do like improvise come up you know whatever might be a little too far.
(06:37):
But at the same time it is what it is at this point.
It's a PG-13 you know teetering on an R with some of the nipples.
So like I'm OK with I'm OK with it having some poor taste jokes.
Yeah and I'm not but it just isn't kind of what I'm saying.
I'm OK with that too.
Look I love Violent Night.
I love R rated Christmas stuff.
Yeah.
(06:58):
The point the difference is you know it going in and in this you don't.
OK.
That's kind of what I'm getting at.
This is a movie that if you just hear about which obviously this far down the line no.
But if you just hear about you're going to say I can watch that with my kids and it's probably not really kid appropriate.
You know what I mean.
Well it's kind of it's it's kind of like Ghostbusters too like Ghostbusters.
(07:19):
It's it's family friendly but kind of not in a sense.
Groundhog's Day.
Family friendly but not not quite because he basically uses his powers his omnipresent godlike powers to like rape a girl.
Yeah.
In in in Groundhog's Day.
Like I understand that she willingly has sex with him so it's not technically rape if you go from his power to make her fall in love.
(07:40):
But he uses his power in a way that it takes advantage.
So yeah this is so actually by that logic you should know full well going into a Bill Murray movie where he kind of is the main character and he kind of has free reign in his head.
He kind of has free reign and it's PG 13.
This is what you should get.
I love the CEO.
So we got the Bill Murray is the president.
(08:02):
But I love the CEO how he's like so dogs and cats are watching more TV.
Let's let's put a little mouse or something to keep the cat for some pet appeal.
Make a dog channel though and they did.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
Yeah.
The real life is that there is a dog dog and cat channel.
I bet you that has to be from someone who watched this movie has to be someone watched this and thought that's not a bad idea.
(08:30):
Not a bad idea.
Let's make a book.
I mean I remember when we were younger you know we'd go somewhere we'd leave TV on for the dogs.
You know just I don't know why but like you keep them calmer for some reason the sound they would think someone's there like you know our dogs would get anxious or whatever separation anxiety for some odd reason.
Yeah and be you know howling or whatever when we left.
(08:51):
Well it's not TV on they think someone's there they hear voices and they feel better.
And now they have an actual cable channel for that's great.
Bluey is a show designed with only colors that dogs can specifically see.
I did not really.
Yeah.
Using colors that dogs can see.
I just found out recently Bluey is a girl.
Yeah.
Because someone so no when I went to Thanksgiving and I was and your son wanted me to play with the Bluey doll.
(09:16):
Yeah.
I was doing very much an Australian boy.
It's a kid.
I was doing it an Australian kid voice but it I was doing boy.
Now I need to change it I'll give it a more of a girl affect this next time.
I'll have to work on it.
I didn't know what I was I didn't research my role.
That's on me.
Usually when I do a performance I like to practice a little bit I like to be in.
(09:37):
I don't care if the audience is one three year old kid.
I now since you're making me watch all this your job is to watch one season of Bluey before you come over Thanksgiving.
You know what.
There's like 40 episodes a season though.
I'm not going to watch a whole season like 10 minutes but I'm sure they're like 15 20 minutes.
Yeah.
I'll get stone to watch a few episodes before coming over.
(09:59):
Look up the most look up the most impactful ones.
People people online will tell you which ones to watch.
I'll look up a list of best bluey.
I found it's weird just being a bluey on Facebook.
I just found the most random group of all time is just popped up in my feet.
No it's one frame of bluey every day and it's just it's one it's just a just a random frame of a bluey episode.
(10:24):
And that's it.
And it's usually it's usually just a weird it's one of those like they'll catch it like when it's a lazy animation moment transition or whatever.
It's great.
That's awesome.
And then I found out that the Simpsons actually they their animators put in like for some of the transitional stuff back in the day they would purposely put in nightmare looking versions of Bart and Homer and like whatever that you could only catch if you pause it at the exact one which they didn't expect people to be able to do especially when it was like VHS technology before DVDs came out.
(10:59):
And look we get to meet Lionel Luther from Mike. Oh Smallville. Yeah.
I was just you wouldn't have known who was in.
So Lex's father Lex Luther's father is a main character in Smallville.
Okay. And because Lex is a main character and it's his dad right so there's a lot of back and forth. And so he's the executive guy trying to take Bill Murray's job.
(11:24):
But if you see him in Smallville you would not think that he's the same guy because he's got a full beautiful beard super long curly hair in the in the Smallville show.
He's much older. Yeah. So like 2001 total Chad.
No no he doesn't.
He's actually 12 years later. Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't seem like a Chad at all. He looks I mean he's a he's a villain. Well not a villain but he's like a powerful corporate guy. Yeah.
(11:50):
Okay.
I don't even know what who would you describe to compare him to.
Oh well it would be like I guess he's Bernie Bernie Madoff Bernie Madoff.
I was a modern one. Yeah.
Okay.
I don't even know.
I pulled that name out of nowhere.
(12:11):
But my last thing I guess about John Glover which is his name. The actor is he was the first time I ever noticed. So like you know how Chris Evans is double dipped as a torch and in Captain America.
John Glover has double dipped in the DC universe and he is Lionel Luther in Smallville. Can you guess his other one. No. Okay. It's he is one of the two scientists or one of the few scientists that help or betray Poison Ivy in the Batman movie.
(12:46):
And then she turns into Poison Ivy. He's one of the scientists that's like that like fuck her over in that gas and like leave her behind. So he's a small bit part. Small bit part. Oh yeah. He's not the one that talks in that one. No I don't think so.
He's not like but it's he's he's double dipping he's technically I could have been Lionel Luther before he got you know before he has money.
(13:07):
That was before Smallville. Yeah right. Yeah that was it was like several years before.
Yeah. But anyway there's your Smallville trivia trivia for the day Smallville. So he has a sign on the back of his wall that says cross a thing you nail or they nail people to because his last name is cross.
I'm like oh that's I would I would love that dude that I love when people take their last names and turn it into their whole identity. Yeah I just love the fried rice podcast.
(13:37):
And rice balls with Brennan in your eyes. Listen to our tiny grain of rice review of Deadpool.
The taxi driver that leaves the old lady behind is an asshole. Yeah.
It takes him instead. Yeah. He should have. He shouldn't have taken though. Yeah. Like I said that he should have known he wasn't going to get tip from Bill.
(14:00):
Like I stole the cab from this old lady. He's not going to fucking tip. Yeah. Get the fuck out. And that wasn't the that wasn't the Christmas pass.
No that was just the regular guy. Yeah. Like what a dick dude. It's like I don't I don't like that.
I mean that's probably how it is in New York though. Like I can imagine they just kind of Christmas pass though. Christmas pass was a real dick because he's got to be killing people left and right. Yeah.
(14:24):
He's going to be a cab driver. Listen I think he's operating strobe lighting in that cab alone would be enough to kill several people.
I would like to imagine that he I know you're Mike you're so on it. I think only Bill can see him though.
That you're on it. If he if he was physically in the same space as real humans. I'm with you.
He's he's a terrible he shouldn't exist. But I like to think of him as like the night bus from Harry Potter where it's just like it's doing its own fucking weird shit.
(14:53):
And he knows what's happening. Yeah. But yes he's and here's a little trivia for the kids at home and I guess everybody the guy that plays the taxi driver he's the singer of and this and the song that he hates that ruined his fucking life he says because everyone that's what they associate him with him that in this movie is feeling hot hot hot.
(15:17):
So you got to watch the music video. It's him. I mean it's 100 percent him. It's the ghost Christmas bad. It almost feels like a trick.
It almost feels like Bill Murray is looking at a TV and he's looking at the ghost of Christmas past pretending to be the singer of hot hot hot.
But it's absolutely him. I think his name is Frankie Valentine that maybe I'm not sure that it's kind of popping in my head.
(15:51):
And anyway random.
Bill Cross Bill Cosby wins the bill Bill Murray. What's his name in this movie. Frank Frank Cross. Yeah. OK. So Frank wins humanitarian of the year award.
That's wonderful.
(16:13):
That's just so it means whoever wins those things is bullshit. By the way check out our diehard episode where we had Bullhead City's humanitarian of the year.
I just wanted him to hear that if he listens to this.
The costume work and the makeup work and the whole design for let's just face it all three of the ghosts are all for great. Great.
(16:39):
But crosses old boss coming in. That was the best. Yeah. I love that. That's what a great scene.
The other dead seven years barely look for what a scary scene. What an intense scene. What a funny scene.
Like if you listen if you if it's not your first time watching it and you're listening for the jokes more than you're watching for the spectacle of it.
(17:01):
It's funny. It's like the lines going back and forth because it's taking me. It takes you multiple watches to really get the humor of that scene because I mean when you're a kid and you watch that scene it sticks out like holy shit.
That's such good makeup. Dude and when he sticks him out the window with his hand there and it rips off like he rips the flesh off and he falls. Terrifying. Absolutely. I get what you're saying like this for young children.
(17:25):
No. Yeah. Brendan's children three and five. No. You're but you're 13 year old. Absolutely. Yeah. 15 15 15 15 15. He's got to like nipples right.
Yeah. He doesn't like that's OK. OK. This is where we're at in the world. Twenty twenty five.
So yeah everyone has the pulse. I just literally listened to episode 11 of the Six Feet Under where one of the characters that we just covered today has a thing where she's like everyone has nipples.
(18:00):
You've grabbed them. You've sucked on them. It's like what's the problem. And Dexter from Dexter being a gay mortician of this one has to tell her like like well maybe not when you're working on a dead body.
Like you put your hard nipples in his face. We have a certain level of decorum. So there's a time and a place. So I put an amazing costume for Russell Boss.
(18:25):
Holy shit. That's a real number that they put up on the TV. I didn't call it but they have a not a five five five or three three three. I didn't call it. I usually do.
But it was late when I was watching it. I was like it's usually some person like but I normally do. If there's a like who hasn't called eight six seven five three oh nine or whatever.
So the golf ball bounces. Oh the golf ball bounces were not possible. It's weird but each bounce should have gotten smaller.
(18:55):
That's how physics works. So there's somebody literally was tossing the ball up back to him in that scene obviously and they misjudged but I guess the take was too good.
They didn't want to do anything. How old is Frank Cross supposed to be in this. Is he in his 40s. Would you say 45. I think it's Bill Murray and oh what am I keep saying.
(19:17):
No no I'm just saying Bill Murray. Oh he always looks that way. I don't know right now. He's 40 or 90. Well when they went back to the Christmas pass no idea.
When I went back to Christmas pass it was 1955 and he was what 10 maybe seven to 10 somewhere in that range. So you've been around like 40s. Yeah mid 40s mid 40s.
(19:38):
Is there's a lot of I don't know. It's hard to tell. When the flashback scenes to him as a much younger man 20 years ago whatever it doesn't like you're right.
Bill Murray just he's sort of one of those he's like a Paul Rudd if it wasn't handsome that he got stuck on if it was just Bill Murray face like Steve Martin.
Yeah. Yeah. He's a good looking guy. He's a good looking guy. But he's been what he was 25. Yeah. White hair look the same age he does now. Right. He looks the same even now.
(20:09):
Like it's crazy. Judy Dench 80. He looks like Judy Dench. She kind of looks the same every time I've ever seen a picture. Do you did for when she was M to now like Downton Abbey.
She looks like the same chip when they're 20 they look 45 and when they're 65 they look 45. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Don't age. Well it left me.
(20:31):
It left me. OK. So during the restaurant scene where cross meets you know Lionel Luther cross begins to see hallucinations and he like he pours he pours water on a fire right.
The funny thing is it's jokes like that. So that's the story is getting that when it's a lot of this movie doesn't hold up in that way like for people who don't know much.
(21:05):
The girls at work they would not get 80 percent of the jokes in this movie. They probably don't know who Richard Pryor is. Yeah they wouldn't know Richard Pryor was for that.
that he lit himself on fire free base.
I bet the same though this.
The same people that wouldn't get a lot of the jokes of this
are the same people that watched Deadpool and Wolverine
and didn't get a lot of jokes in that.
(21:25):
Yes. You know what I mean?
It's like there's a certain type of person
that is obsessed enough with pop culture, entertainment
and old cinema and old whatever that that's part of it.
Engrained in our DNA. We just love it.
Yeah, we do. Yeah. Yeah.
We know this stuff.
And but the thing is, that's a lot of people.
But then there's some people out there that do not give a fuck
(21:47):
about nothing about none of this stuff.
I want to see something that might be funny to them.
And yeah, they just want to sit there and have something playing
on the screen in front of them.
They don't care. They go to the bathroom.
You don't have to pause it. Don't worry.
And then at that point, you're like, what are we even fucking do?
And are we married? Yeah.
(22:07):
They're just NPCs at that point.
Yeah. Don't pause it.
It means you don't give a shit about nothing.
I told you this is one of my favorite movies, right?
Yeah. I'm going to pause it.
I saw a little video where the guys like, yeah, I want to pause it
and I'm going to rewind it to a little bit before we were.
So I'm going to force you to punish you.
I want to punish you to make you rewatch something
(22:28):
that you're obviously not into.
And I'll make you listen to me for two hours
afterwards explaining everything. Yeah.
Exactly. The waiter at some point, he says,
like, cross.
What's that over there?
As he's pointing to the baked Alaska, he goes, Oh, that's a baked Alaska, sir.
You wouldn't want that. It's a dessert.
And then he goes, OK.
(22:49):
And he goes, how about this over here?
And you guys like, Oh, that's the meatloaf, sir.
You wouldn't want that.
What the fuck is this waiter doing?
And why isn't he giving this customer what he wants?
Salesman. Yeah.
I'd like that thing over there. It looks great.
Oh, it's a dessert. OK, great. Thank you. I'll have it. Thank you.
Thanks. That's what I said. I'll have it.
But or oh, the meatloaf.
You said meatloaf. I love meatloaf.
(23:11):
Oh, no, sir. You wouldn't want that. Why?
Do you poison your meatloaf? Is the meat rat?
Is it human? What are we doing?
Don't now. I don't want it.
You fucking creep.
What should I get?
What did you dip your penis in your ball sack?
It was really wanting to get it.
Was that the only one?
And you're already past this.
I was waiting to see if you bring it up.
(23:32):
The second Bobcat came on screen.
Oh, yes. Excited.
Well, but OK, but thinking back, having seen this for the first time,
I did not recognize Bobcat.
No, not at all. Oh, because not until he talked.
Yeah, because of his hair. His hair being short.
You couldn't recognize him.
He didn't look anything like the Bobcat we all know.
Even when he talks, it's oh, no, he doesn't talk.
(23:54):
It's instant. I go, that's Bobcat.
Yeah, it does dial it back.
He dials back the Bobcat.
No, absolutely. It's dialed back, but it's still Bobcat.
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
It's like the yeah.
He's like a nervous Bobcat.
It's a unique voice for sure.
But yeah, I like. Yeah, I forgot.
I didn't write any notes about that, but it is great that he.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas, motherfucker.
(24:16):
By the way, that ad. Oh, Merry Christmas, fucker.
Yeah. Four minutes to get him out of the building.
Four minutes and 40 seconds to get him out of the building.
The ad that Bobcat has a problem with,
which is the one that Bill Murray wants to play is so funny.
It's explosions like
(24:36):
just terrorists, all sorts of shit.
And then Bobcat, sir, if you play that,
just people are going to be scared.
And then like the next day,
hey, by the way, a grandmother watched her last night and died.
Yes. Just get so excited.
I'm like, yep, he's irredeemable.
(24:58):
Real bad guy.
Uh, Ghost Cab goes through a truck in 1955.
But why did the trunk honk its horn?
Yeah, I was one of the same thing.
Yeah. Yeah. The ghost cab goes.
You're right. He goes.
He transitions to 55 and goes through the truck.
But the truck's like, oh, fuck.
(25:18):
And then like a ghost goes through him.
But you don't see the reaction of the truck, but you hear him.
Like he's about to crash.
And like every truck in every movie of all time, the honk
instead of break. Yeah.
It's like they forget which which ones which they go.
The horn must be the one that slows you down.
Oh, there's a teenager in the middle of the road.
Regina George from like a bus driver and it's Mean Girls.
(25:41):
It's some girls in the middle of the road.
Let me just put the horn on.
The moment you hear a horn before there's a collision
of a human person, I feel like you blame the driver
because if you didn't just hear screeching brake noises,
they didn't try to save your life.
Usually you're both.
It's like they just kind of push everything down.
(26:02):
Yeah. Maybe, you know, and it's kind of like, hey, try and should anyway.
But not in most movies.
In most movies, they just keep driving and so many hit runs
with truck drivers, bro.
They have a it's like they got to get those gay boy advances to fucking
wherever they're going.
It's Christmas, man.
(26:22):
It's Christmas.
Garden slugs get more out of life than you.
Oh, yeah. Name one.
I like that exchange. I wrote it down.
Just because well, because he said he did more things than just sit and watch TV.
And he's like, oh, yeah, name one name one accomplishment.
You know, that's what he was saying.
They want more of. And he couldn't name any.
(26:44):
He's like, I did this.
And he's like, nope, that was the show.
He started naming accomplishments like that.
He did like that's leave it to beaver.
Like, that's this. That's that.
Like, that's not you. Wait. Oh, oh, this is what he's
what he's when he's in the past looking at.
Yeah. He wasted your life watching TV.
And he's remembering all the moments that were like TV moments, but his moments.
(27:05):
Yeah. But you know what?
That's OK. Because the live life memory.
I I think the future is going to be memory hacks.
I this is I'm just I'm just thinking of this right now.
But I is I haven't thought of this prior to the but memory hacks,
because right now, if Bill Murray's character
can remember a leave it to beaver perfect Christmas with his family,
(27:28):
quote unquote, that's from the TV and he can remember it as clear as day,
then what's the difference between him remembering the real Christmas?
Right now, everyone's memory is fucked up and it's wrong.
And every every memory you have is wrong.
There's no correct memories, because even in
like you could everyone could watch the same event
(27:49):
and have different like details.
Yeah. Just like we watch the same movie and have different.
Exactly. Same way.
And so they do one takeaway from the final cut we watched a while ago.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That memory can be skewed. It can be.
And so think of if there was a way to
I don't know how probably using VR, probably using that new Neuralink stuff,
(28:12):
but being able to directly go back and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
and edit memories where all they have to do
is go to a traumatic point in your life, replace it with footage from Full House.
And it's like literally you then think for like a little bit of your
I mean, they would have to curate specific memories.
(28:33):
Yeah, that's getting more into the mirror.
Black Mirror Black Mirror type stuff.
Because I got to tell you, you don't know a lot of what you're
the reason your memories are skewed is because your brain does things to protect it.
So it wants you to forget.
It wants you to forget certain details or remember them different ways
on purpose because it protects you.
I think depressed people don't have that ability.
(28:54):
I feel like my brain doesn't have the it changes.
If anything, it might focus on certain things.
It amplifies the bad memories.
It takes them and makes them probably worse than they were. Sure. Right.
In a lot of ways to like punish me or something.
But it could also still be to protect you to let yourself not get in that situation.
Yeah. Your brain will do weird shit.
(29:16):
I don't know a lot of good memories.
I typically most of the time, it's a low light reel
playing in my head of all the worst things that's ever happened.
And like. That's normal.
Right. Good stuff, too.
You have good stories that you talk about stories most of them are pretty good.
Your whole European experience, like you talk about the bad,
but you talk about the good, too, you know.
(29:37):
Yeah. But I guess they don't normally go there as a memory.
I don't think you're when you're alone, you know.
Yeah. When you're alone, you don't focus on that.
So maybe I do need people. But that's normal, though.
Yeah. Yeah. Or cat.
You should get a cat, dude. Cats kill flies.
They kill bugs. Many bugs are in here.
Yeah. Like I was watching my cat yesterday, like my wife.
I hate it. She leaves the door open.
(29:58):
And like during the day, like she'll just leave the door wide open.
I'm like, just open the windows.
We have windows. Open the windows.
Doors wide open. Flies are coming in. Cats are going outside.
Is she as bad as my wife who did the same thing yesterday?
Let the door open all afternoon.
Sure. My mom's house next door. Right.
But the back door standing wide open.
I come back in. I'm out in the front yard.
You're cleaning up stuff.
I come back in, which is fine.
(30:19):
It should happens, whatever.
But that's not the problem.
The problem is then she comes back over from mom's house.
We start making dinner and she's like, where do all these flies come from?
You. Yeah.
But you can't, you know, sometimes you just got to keep the peace.
Yeah, it's true. That's true.
I just look at her like, I swear to God, one of these days, one of these days.
(30:42):
Alice, pow, straight to the moon.
But our cat was hunting the couple of flies we had in there.
And I was like, Andy needs a cat.
Cats are low maintenance. They're easy pets.
They're fun.
I think Andy has a maybe would have a cat box problem. Probably.
Yeah. Get a self cleaning cat box.
Oh, you mean like cleaning up the other creatures?
(31:04):
Well, just the smell of it and stuff like that.
Yeah. Just get it. Get it. Get it. Self cleaning cat box.
Changes the trash bag and good.
They do make those. Yeah.
I mean, I don't I.
Are you guys big cat?
I love cat. What do we do?
Why are you trying to sell? I don't like animals personally,
but my wife loves cats and we have a cat. Yeah.
And it's OK, but because it's very dog like our cat.
(31:26):
Some of them are.
No, with my luck, I'm going to get a skittish fucking cat
that doesn't want to hang out and like.
But you know what? Hey, it'll probably take after me.
You know, just want to be left alone.
And then it'll need a cat to keep it company.
The cat will need a cat or it'll need a mouse
and the mouse will need a like a something.
(31:46):
I'm in Jerry running around.
Yeah. It'll be a reverse.
Cat will kill Randy. Yeah.
I knew an autistic boy who once swallowed a fly
in front of his cat
who was autistic as well.
There was a mouse involved.
If we can write this book, kids book.
You give them to Andy a cat.
They're both going to be autistic.
(32:07):
Andy gets a cat. It's a cat.
Andy gets a cat.
There was a boy named Andy and he just got himself a cat.
Said he needed people in his life and said, got a cat. Yeah.
Easy. He felt so he felt so sad about himself
(32:27):
because he was so fat.
The cat came in
and made him happy, filled him up with joy.
Andy's too weird about cat bodies
to find out if it was a girl or a boy.
This would be the autistic version of it.
(32:50):
Back to the movie.
Yeah. So no smoking when audience is present is a funny.
Yeah. Just a funny thing.
Funny. Yeah. Just a funny sign to have in a in a flashback.
Like you're in the flashback when he was in the dog costume.
Although I did think it was kind of weird that like he didn't go
all the way backstage before taking the head off the dog.
(33:12):
Costumes. Yeah.
The kids were right there to sit there watching.
Just like, well, there's the magic of the show. Yeah.
I'd hate to be a live studio audience member
and have that ruined for you. Yeah, it sucked.
And you know, the live studio audience members are the ones
that are the biggest fans. Yeah.
They'd be like going to see Barney live and then like.
Like Mickey Mouse, like the ones at Disney World.
I think they would let their I think they let their actors die
(33:34):
or pass out before they take the mask off.
That's true.
It's crazy. They just drag them back.
Yeah. Mickey's OK.
He's stroking falls down.
They just drag him off.
They'll let him die before
they take that fucking thing off.
They'll hide behind that weird green paint that they put on stuff
(33:54):
to make you not notice it. Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy.
So, oh, who's who is Dick Burton?
They make a reference to Dick Burton.
And I just looked him up on IMDb and he's the father.
And oh, because it's the homeless guys are like, Oh, yeah.
Richard Burton, good old Dick Burton.
Do a thing. Do the do the do the exorcist to do whatever.
(34:16):
And I looked him up and yeah, it's and then Bill Murray does a
impression of him. But yeah, I was just it's interesting
that he's a real I didn't know about him.
Claire or Andy McDowell from Groundhog's Day.
Who do I love the most?
Claire from Scrooged, Andy McDowell, Groundhog's Day.
(34:37):
Who would you rather be with?
Because they're both sweet.
They're both beautiful.
And look past this flaw.
I'm going with Carol Kane.
Oh, OK.
That's the ghost of Christmas. Yeah.
Yeah, she was hot.
That was that was definitely a childhood crush as a kid.
I think it was it was the combination of the look and the voice.
(34:58):
Yeah, all of it.
I would even take her from
the Princess Bride Princess Bride.
I had to. Yeah.
If that's the only Carol Kane I can get.
Yeah, but she's not on the list.
I would say probably I've always think I think Groundhog's Day.
And it's tough because yeah, again, Sanlott,
(35:19):
she was the mom in Sanlott and which one Claire Claire.
Oh, yeah. Was Claire also Lois Lane?
I think she was, wasn't she? Or no.
Is that yeah. Yeah.
Was she Lois Lane?
No, she's so I think she was somebody else or she in Superman.
I thought she was.
(35:40):
I thought so, too. She looks like Lois Lane.
I might be wrong, though.
Oh, yeah.
At the homeless shelter, the fuse situation
when the volunteers go up like we need fuses, we need what?
He's like, well, go in the phone book and look it up.
I'm like, what a fucking asshole, dude.
And then I put that Claire is way, way, way too forgiving of Frank.
(36:06):
At that point, it's like never talk to me again.
You fucking jerk.
So maybe Claire is honestly you can get away with murder with Claire.
She's pretty forgiving. She kind of comes right back.
I change it to Claire. Amy McDowell is too independent.
Yeah. I like my women submissive.
Let's go handmaid's tale.
Twenty twenty five, baby.
Trump's Trump's world revenge tour.
(36:26):
Your body, my choice.
Who? America.
That is such a bad take.
Yeah, I know.
Guy that that guy that wrote that for the white supremacist piece.
Fucking shit. Nick Puentes.
Yeah. Didn't abortion pass in every single state it was on?
We're not doing.
We're not. But I do think.
But thank God we've had women's rights enshrined,
(36:47):
at least in the Constitution of the States.
Oh, and then this is where we get him saying bah humbug.
He says it ironically, but he still says it, which I like.
I like that they gave him a bah humbug.
And in the in the right moment, too, where he's using it ironically,
but then at the same time, he's also saying to her, fuck Christmas bah humbug.
(37:10):
Does he not see the parallels between Scrooge and his own life?
That's one of the things I especially for being such a TV person,
and especially for him putting on a production of Scrooge.
Yeah, he should see the pair.
He even says Charles Dickens would want nipples.
How does he not know?
Actually, or is it that he does know?
And that's why he doesn't question the ghost as much as Scrooge does.
(37:32):
So like when he meets the first ghost, he kind of just goes with it
because he's like after he's like, oh, well, fuck shit. All right.
Let's just do this then.
Yeah. Like, so it kind of just rolls with it.
He rolls with it.
So maybe he does kind of be like he's like, all right,
because he does say bah humbug at that point.
Yeah. So I don't know.
(37:52):
Bitch hit me with a toaster. Yeah, that's great.
My favorite scene in the whole movie.
Which way we hit him, where she just beat me.
Yeah, she just beat them.
Wait, which who beat who? Harold King.
Oh, yeah. Bill Murray with the household items over and over.
Yeah, I remember that.
(38:14):
Bryce, which is the name of Lionel Luther's character,
him coming up behind and doing the hand massage thingy on the shoulder.
I fucking hate when people do that.
Don't touch me. If I don't if you're not in a relationship with me,
that we've established that I like you to touch my shoulders.
Yeah. Do not touch me.
Do not touch me at all.
(38:35):
I've made this point several times throughout my career on stage and and
in audio, and I just say, I don't care who you are.
Don't touch me.
And imagine how many women have to put up with that constant.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like touch. Yeah.
It's it's constant. Yeah.
And it's still like that, too.
Like it's it's gotten a lot better, but it's better to use to be.
(38:56):
Yeah. Yeah. It's still like that.
I never go for a hug first with anybody.
You guys know me.
We don't even do fist bumps very often.
No handshakes. I I'm just cool not touching people.
Hey, what's up? Yeah. Hey, good enough.
There's a so there's like there's, you know, women and girls that I know that
what girls not I don't know any girls girls, but like like
(39:20):
like the girls that we work with.
Yeah, they I think know I'm not a hugger, but they I think are huggers
with everyone else.
So it's like they know I'm not that guy.
And I think other people are starting to realize it, too, because like
even Ashley at the show last night, she saw me.
I think she was going to make a move and then she just stopped herself
and then just said, hey, I was like, hey, she noticed I wasn't.
(39:42):
I wasn't hugging nobody.
Yeah. We might have her in Kentucky on for another another girl
in Kentucky on for our.
That Santa episode, which could be a lot of fun.
Yeah, which.
It is already out just came out.
Yeah, yeah, so that's fine.
(40:04):
This is how time works.
That's how time works.
Ghost of Christmas present.
Yeah, it's my favorite.
Kicking him in the balls, punching him.
That's right. That's where I'm at.
Didn't know his assistant's husband was killed.
Damn, that's oh, yeah.
He didn't know. He didn't know.
He didn't know.
He thought she was just wearing black.
Yeah. For a year. Oh, God.
He didn't know that.
It's like her husband was murdered, bro, like in front of her child.
(40:28):
And that's why it doesn't talk like, holy shit, you know nothing.
What a dick.
That's a weird family thing
where they all blow raspberries on their grown ass brother's chest. Yeah.
I'm like, and I don't like the Bill Murray.
Does he use that later?
He's like, I love it.
I love when we rose raspberries on each other.
(40:48):
Well, because he does it to Bobcat later.
And I'm going to start doing this now.
I'm going to be this guy now. So weird.
Such a weird take to take away from that.
Oh, God, I wanted Bobcat to kill him so bad.
I love when he's singing and doing the firing and everything.
Like, it's just so much fun. Yeah, that's that whole.
And I did write down that bit.
That bitch hit me with a toaster.
(41:09):
I just wasn't there yet. I know it's.
In the sewer. Where are we? Trump Tower.
That's a line like that aged appropriately
to Frank, best brother a guy could have on a handmade
picture frame lies.
(41:30):
He knows it. Frank knows it.
What is he doing? He should just said Merry Christmas.
Best wishes. Love you, brother.
His brother loved him as a good little brother.
Loving his older brother, but best brother of all time.
His only brother, but best brother of all time.
If he only had one brother, that's the best brother you ever had.
Well, my granddaughter, she's my favorite granddaughter all the time.
The only granddaughter I have.
(41:51):
The only one I got.
I have two sisters. Yeah.
Not my favorite sisters.
Neither one. Neither one.
No, I mean, I definitely have a favorite sister.
No, I mean, I have other I have other sisters.
I'd probably pick a spade like other
friend sisters or whatever.
Or even other people's sisters.
(42:12):
Yeah, but that's more.
I feel like that's that the family dynamic has kind of changed
throughout the years.
I feel like the 80s was like very much like blood as family.
Whereas like your family, the intermediate family 90s is kind of 90s.
2000s is kind of when we change it to like we pick our families.
Now, the blended families, extended families and friends of family.
I think maybe that's a reflection on our families because
(42:35):
man, them girls at work, they're close. Yeah.
Yeah, they're very close. Yeah.
No, it's I guess just to each family, their own. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. I like hanging out with my friends more than my sisters, I guess. Yeah.
So I didn't spend a lot of time with them. Yeah.
And now I live in a different state.
So and then, you know, I never call and it's part of being an adult.
Yeah. How often do you talk to your sister? Not very often.
(42:57):
What's your brother? Once a year, I'm going to go.
This will be I haven't talked about brother in literally three years
until I go, we're going in March to his daughter's wedding.
You know, I mean, I mean, I'll say something on Facebook or whatever.
But as far as like calling on the phone or whatever, we don't do that.
My youngest sister will call me occasionally.
Just like, hey, how are you doing?
We haven't talked in a while. Yeah.
Hope you're doing well. It's just weird to me.
(43:18):
I don't know what it is. Yeah.
It's like what it is. It's like friends checking in.
It's like a friend that used to have. Yeah.
That but you're required to keep in your life.
They talk to my wife more often, though, I would say.
My wife keeps in contact with everybody for me.
Like, I don't want to talk on the phone.
I hate the phone is part of my problem.
Talk to my buddies on the phone occasionally, like once a month,
(43:41):
once every two weeks. But I talk to my parents all the time.
Yeah, I like them.
Yeah, I talk to my dad a lot on the phone.
I like my one of my sisters. Pretty cool.
Anyway, this is all right, Frank.
Baham. Baham.
I like how the ghost of Christmas
future comes out of the TV was a cool transition.
(44:04):
No security for like eight shotgun blasts.
So we're going on.
They got the the fastest elevator door of all time.
He jumps into the elevator and it closes immediately
before Bobcat can get a shot off. Yeah. OK. Without hitting any buttons.
Yeah. Yeah.
Did they air this live on Christmas where it ends at midnight?
(44:28):
Because that's how they're sort of framing it.
They're like they're like Christmas is like Christmas is in 12 minutes or whatever.
I'm like, what does that mean? Is it mean midnight?
So this went on from like nine to midnight.
Probably. You know, you say it's something in the theaters.
I'm talking about the live production of Scrooge that Frank Cross was putting on.
Was that airing nine to midnight?
(44:50):
Like nine to midnight New York time, maybe. OK.
Like, isn't he got the West Coast that's earlier?
Yeah, I just thought it was weird.
When future ghost is done with him, he checks the time and says, yeah, a quarter till.
Have we missed it? Yeah.
So that's like it's a quarter. So that's why.
How can they slow motion follow a flipped coin in a live production?
(45:14):
Yeah. I'm just saying the coin flips from Scrooge.
You follow the coin and then it lands in the kids.
They the only thing I could think of is that they use.
That's the one sheet that they did, or maybe they had a few cheats, but it was like a
three shot pre-recorded coin in the air.
And then they just used that. Sure.
(45:35):
And then that could have worked.
I didn't think about the power of editing Saturday, not lifestyle.
Yes. Yeah. The SS Minnow.
And answering the question.
Yeah. During the speech at the end, that opens up a weird idea
that ghosts are real and that he could prove it.
So like he he can go to his brother and he's like,
(45:58):
can I tell you how I knew about the SS Minnow?
His brother be like, OK, he's like, great.
I totally got Scrooge.
They I got visited by some ghosts.
One of them was ghost Christmas present.
I watched your guys is like little game.
Like I watched it happen.
Brothers like, no, you did it.
I was like, how the fuck do you think not what?
(46:18):
20 minutes later, I'm on live TV and I'm saying like SS Minnow, buddy.
Like talking about the gift. I got you.
Yeah. Talking about the gift.
Bro, like that, that's Scrooge to Scrooge to is really the world.
Ghostbusters one. Yeah.
(46:38):
So he comes he dedicates his life to the study of ghosts
after meeting three of them and being done with the TV game
because he's like kind of over it or whatever.
I don't know. I like that idea.
Yeah, I like the idea.
My my only rewrite of this movie, honestly, is to make Bill Murray not.
I'm going to go through all that and still be a fucking ass.
(47:00):
People. So you don't want the Christmas carol.
Yeah, just want to know. I want him to try.
I want him to like try.
And then he gets the and he's like, now fuck all y'all.
He just reverts right back to it.
When Elliot fires a shotgun in the booth and tells them all to party,
there's an overweight lady
who cries while doing a chicken dance in the very front.
(47:23):
It's very distracting, very funny.
But there's just this lady going,
she's just crying and she's flapping her arms up and down.
And she's so scared she's going to die.
That's fucking hilarious.
The censor lady rape kisses Lionel Luther
Bryce. He definitely does not want her tied up.
(47:45):
He's tied up and she aggressively goes after him.
She's heavily concussed.
I will give her that excuse.
She's been beat to shit this entire fucking movie.
She's not in her right mind.
The speech he gives at the end is basically a very Murray Christmas.
That's kind of the vibe you get when you watch that other Netflix show.
Is it coming out like, hey, all right, you know, like, let's do Christmas.
(48:08):
Like when he's talking to the audience.
It's a part of the movie. I hate it.
Yeah, we'll get it. Yeah.
I think that's all ad libbed a lot or a lot of it's ad libbed.
He did a lot of ad libbing in this movie.
I know him and the director fought a lot.
Like after the movie came out, he was like, Bill Murray said,
this could have been a great movie, but they left a lot on the floor.
Bill Murray fought with the director every time.
I can't imagine every director he works with.
(48:30):
He said that this could have been great, but he left a lot.
They left a lot on the floor.
Yeah. We have the rated R cut of this.
The Snyder cut would be awesome.
I there's a scene where she gets in the so.
So Claire gets in the ghost taxi cab again,
really opening up the possibility of ghost shit.
(48:51):
And she says, can you get me to the IBC tower in five minutes?
He says, yes, sweetheart. Which floor?
At that point, I get out of the cab.
Yeah. Because I'm like, what do you mean?
Driving into the building.
Are you going to kill us?
Are you about to 9-11 us before we knew what that was?
If I was watching the Scrooge special as a regular person
(49:14):
watching the live Scrooge special with Buddy Hackett and all that stuff
with Mary Lou Redden, I would be so fucking pissed
with Bill Murray coming out and having this weird personal
talking to his brother, getting the cast involved, laughing.
Hey, we're all having fun here. Hey, look, it's just a production.
(49:35):
Look at all the behind the scenes shit.
Like I got trouble.
I almost stapled reindeer to things.
You just paid three hundred dollars for this ticket to watch me go off.
Yeah. Yeah.
And so he's just he's I mean, he's basically just he ruins
the Scrooge production, even though everyone loves it at the end,
which that's the most unrealistic part.
(49:58):
Yes, Mike, him coming out and doing the speech is the worst part of this movie.
I wish it didn't end this way.
I wish that he didn't come out and ruined the live special.
I wish that he.
Tag a scene on the end.
This is what happened. This is how you end it.
This is how you end it.
He gets done with Ghost of Christmas Future.
(50:19):
He is about to walk into the studio as it's about to do the big finale
and he can take all the credit.
And then instead, he stops at the doorway and he goes, no,
there's something more important.
And he turns around.
And then as he's going to go find Claire at the home of Selzer,
(50:39):
she finds him out front.
That's how you end it. Right.
That's a much sweeter ending.
Because that way he's not doing like this hokey
talk in the fucking audience of the movie.
I felt we got no sweetness in the end.
There's a story to start out, Charles.
In other words, like the story.
Yeah, we got none of that sweet ending to the story.
We got it.
It takes Claire up on on on.
It's like, hey, give me kiss, baby.
(51:00):
And she's like, I don't want to do this right now.
And then the talk to the audience in the theaters, which was stupid, stupid,
because maybe maybe it wasn't if you saw it in the theaters the first time.
But that's one time.
And then every rewatch of this, you're like, who the fuck is he talking to?
I was in here with me and my wife, watch this movie.
Now all the girls, now all the boys shut the fuck up.
(51:23):
Yeah. Bill Murray addressing the audience of the theaters.
Us is weird.
I wonder if people actually sing that in the theaters.
I cannot imagine it.
Yeah, I don't think so.
You know, it's crazy is that it would probably only take one or two people
to start it, to really get it going. Yeah.
Yeah. Like, uh, but who's brave enough to do that?
(51:46):
Is that so weird?
It was theater kids.
Yeah. Theater kids. I bet if there were some theater kids,
you could maybe get a group of people that would do it together.
But in a general average movie theater, I imagine if it's like if if if they were
hoping that this movie would get the cult following, like, you know,
a Rocky Horror picture film, things like that.
It was a Rocky Horror show.
Everybody's singing horror picture film. Yeah.
(52:08):
Rock Rocky Horror.
The prequel to Rocky Horror picture.
Yeah. The Rocky Horror picture film.
Documentary about your vision.
I just found it really bad.
Took me out of everything else.
I was like, oh, well, this sucks.
Yeah, it's like it's like they didn't stick the landing.
I'll give you very it was very amateurish.
(52:29):
It shows that he changed his ways.
He's giving he gives his assistant a raise that she deserves and the bonus.
And, you know, calls his brother out and says, you know, I need to be better.
Like it's it shows that he changed and he grew. I love what they're doing.
My favorite thing is when he above that speech is him talking to his brother
through the TV. Like that's super fucking sweet and awesome.
(52:49):
Yeah. This movie's 95 percent perfect.
I think the comedy's there.
I think the makeup and effects are there.
I think the acting is there.
I think the story's there.
I think it's a great parallel of like he's a Scrooge,
but he's not named Scrooge putting on a Scrooge performance.
It's so good, so nuanced.
(53:10):
All these things that make him kind of meta before meta. Yes.
Yeah. Any any any also?
The way he's an asshole throughout this,
still, he's kind of likable.
Like you can tell why he got Murray, right?
You can tell how he got to where he was.
Thank God it wasn't who they offered to originally, Michael Keaton. Yeah.
(53:30):
This would not have worked with my.
I love my key. I love Michael Keaton.
She's got the right part.
He's too nice. Totally different movie. Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, it would be a different movie. Yes.
He plays a good asshole, but not as good as Bill Murray.
Not as good at that.
And not as face is not. Yeah, it's just not the wrong way.
It's just not. It's more dramatic.
So Johnny Dangerously was a pretty funny movie.
(53:51):
I was slapstick.
Ashley Dancy, who we should have on soon.
Last night when we were hanging out the show, she said,
Michael Keaton, she's like, you know, Michael Keaton.
I'm like, yes, I know.
And she's like and she's like and I was just like, what are you talking?
Mr. Mom talking.
And I was about to say multiplicity, but then she's like a movie called
(54:13):
multiplicity. I was like, yeah, I know.
They're all clones.
And she's like, yeah. And I was like, and they fuck his wife.
Yeah. Yeah. And then she said earlier,
this is just a interesting exchange.
But I heard her wrong.
We were talking about strip clubs.
And she's like, the one thing you got to look for strip clubs
are her beats.
(54:34):
And I was like and I had to I didn't want to say anything.
So I turned to Kentucky. I was like.
What the hell are our bees?
And she's like, what do you mean? I was like, I was like,
as strip club, you go look up for her bees.
She's like herpes.
I was like, oh, fucking idiot.
Such a fucking moron.
(54:54):
But I wanted to be one of the cool kids.
I don't want to embarrass myself.
That's why I turned to Kentucky.
So hopefully we'll have them on soon.
I give this a B. I mean, it's a solid B.
It would get a B plus for me.
I think if it wasn't for that last ending part.
But other than that, this is a solid of a fun
for adults and teens
(55:15):
Christmas movie.
You know, it's not a kids Christmas movie.
It's not Jingle All the Way.
And that's great.
Like Jingle All the Way had its charm.
Scrooge has its charm.
It's less charming.
That's the thing. It's not charming.
It's kind of that's the thing with it.
It almost it has so much negative to it.
I don't mean the movie itself.
(55:37):
I'm just saying it's it's got negative feels in the movie.
Yeah. It doesn't feel like Christmas.
Yeah. That's my only that and the ending are my two issues with this movie.
It's not bad.
But it's not to me.
It doesn't feel like Christmas.
You know, that that warm Christmas feeling.
I would if somebody had the argument.
And I think that's because they were in the ending.
(55:58):
It's Scrooge to Christmas movie.
I would maybe argue maybe not.
Maybe not. Yeah. But it kind of is.
Kind of is. Yeah. It's kind of like Die Hard.
It's sad at Christmas. Yeah.
But it's not a Christmas movie.
You know what I mean? It's like you give it as a grade out of our.
By the way, until we change our until we change our our our
B is as high as it gets with us.
(56:18):
Right. So that was really an A.
So B, C, D, E or B, C, D, F.
And then we have W for waste of time if it gets that bad.
So we only do B movies typically, even though this isn't one.
It doesn't matter. Our whole thing is fucked.
It's changing.
You know, we love you nor a grading system for a few more weeks.
Yeah. A few more episodes until the end of the year. Yeah.
(56:41):
So, yeah, B is my highest.
So C, you said? OK.
Yeah, I mean, I definitely give it.
If that was.
It's OK. It'll average out, Andy.
I give it a B as well. Nice.
It's a solid movie. It's definitely one of those ones.
I love it. Yeah, I love it.
Even even the ending. I enjoy it.
I enjoy the kind of just silly quirkiness of the conversing with the audience
(57:04):
and telling everybody, stop watching the fucking TV.
Go spend time with family. It's Christmas.
What are you doing?
You know, which is it's true because every year at Christmas,
you always have the TV on, but it's usually just background noise.
Like you kind of it's always Christmas story or something along those lines,
playing 24 hours and you just kind of catch bits and pieces of it.
Except, of course, this year, we're at Christmas on Christmas Day.
(57:27):
Yeah, I'm going to have to tell my whole family to sit down and shut the fuck up.
There's a football football game.
Oh, the chiefs play this Christmas play on Christmas Day.
Is there usually a Christmas game?
Yeah, it is, but it's usually some bullshit game that means nothing.
And this year, they have like an important game on two big teams,
chiefs and Steelers on Christmas, like the number one and two seed.
(57:47):
They're probably going to be playing for the one seed for playoffs.
It's like going to be a big game.
And of course, after watching, which I don't know if any of you did
the boxing match. Oh, I watched my wife did.
It was all shit. Yeah. What a boring fight.
Well, not only that, they couldn't.
The streaming was boring.
Oh, yeah. It was funny. Austin and I were watching.
It's just like, God, the quality was like it's a fucking potato.
(58:10):
It was it was great until the main event. Yeah.
It's oh, yeah. Yeah.
Once everybody turned it on, it was like, yeah.
Once the main fight started, it went to shit.
Yeah, that was one of the most boring fights ever.
Yeah. My wife said the fight before was much.
It was great. The girl fight.
The girl fight was great. Yeah, that's what she said.
She said they were bad asses.
It's like they're one of them was bleeding the whole time.
And they were she was like, they're going to stop the fight.
(58:32):
But she doesn't want them to. Yeah.
That's cool. I didn't watch the fight before.
We just got back from the show. Yeah.
And then we turned on the Tysif I were just sitting just bored.
Just thinking like, dude, it sucks. There must have been.
It was when I hear the word rigged.
Now I think like, yeah, I mean, Jake Paul should have knocked his ass out.
Should like like should not Mike Tyson out at that point.
(58:53):
At that point in the fight once it was interesting fight
because if you watched it at the beginning, yeah, Tyson rocked him.
Oh, yeah. At the very beginning of the fight.
Round one, Tyson rocked him once.
And you could tell at that point. And then he backed off.
And then he got tired after that.
I think they had certain rules to well, hit him in the face.
I think, oh, yeah, they didn't.
(59:13):
But their only rule, I think they had that rule kind of.
Yeah, they between them.
They were collecting a bag.
Yeah, I think they were collecting a bag. Yeah.
Forty million dollars.
Like, come on. Yeah.
Keep our faces pretty.
Oh, whatever.
No, it's funny.
I went by the other store at one point to get something.
And it was while the main event was on and I get there and they were dead.
(59:36):
And like we were busy up until about right before the main event started.
And they were only at like twenty five hundred for the day.
But they were playing the fight in there.
And I get there. It's the seventh round.
Like the end of the seventh round, the eighth about start.
I'm like, they both look like fresh. Yeah.
They look tired, but they look fresh.
Like this sucks. No damage. Yeah. Yeah.
Weren't even trying. No. No damage.
(59:58):
There's like not one of them was leaving with a black eye.
Yeah. It's like nothing.
Just lead up. Just I want to I would want to rearrange Mike Tyson's face tattoo.
You know, like make it not look right after you're done with them.
But, you know, or Jake Paul just fucking break, break him.
So he can't influence shit in a hospital broken from the back.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
(01:00:19):
You have to shit in a fucking bag for now on.
But anyway, that's how we like to end our Christmas episodes
is with a little bit of current pop culture
that's going to age just like this movie.
Yes. Sort of poorly.
They're like, why are you talking about this now?
That was months ago.
Months ago was last month. Yeah.
But anyway, so bah humbug and all that with this has been another exciting
(01:00:42):
camp, eight crazy nights of Christmas over four or four or 14.
And we're not we're not.
We can't do math.
I don't even know when this was this could be the last one, the first one.
Who knows?
So when I say another, it could be.
And thank you for joining us on the first or and this has been our final.
I don't think it's our final.
Yeah. Final one is actually eight crazy nights.
(01:01:02):
And we don't we don't know that that's our final one because we filmed that.
We recorded that a year ago.
Yeah. So they don't have it yet.
No, I've asked Jesse a thousand fucking.
Oh, no. With me as always, it's Brennan.
All I want for Christmas.
Wait.
(01:01:24):
How does that song go?
You're trying to be Mariah Carey.
But how does it go?
Oh, oh.
How does the song go?
All I want for Christmas is you.
All I want for Christmas
is Shipley up to Boston.
I don't think you'll hear the eight crazy nights.
(01:01:45):
Sorry, people.
Yeah, we're really, really trying.
And with us as always, it is Michael Bobcat Goldwaite Larson.
Have a good week, everybody.
I've been your host, Andy Rice.
This has been Fried Rice podcast.
This has been a Christmas special part of an eight crazy night series or so.
(01:02:07):
Thank you. Good night.
(01:02:37):
The high he's going to go on a tangent soon.
The guys are standing by.
It's a Friday, right? Christmas.
Let's all smoke some pot.
We love all of our listeners.
You all mean a lot.
(01:02:58):
It's a Friday, right?
Christmas. Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
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