Crank: High Voltage 2009 (Death of Chelios.. The Dark Mike Rises)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
And welcome everybody to another High Voltage.

(00:16):
You can't keep us down no matter fucking what episode of Fried Rice Podcast.
I'm your host Andy Rice.
Let's get fried with me.
As always is Brennan, shipley up to Boston.
I think I'm going to the horse races after this.

(00:38):
Nice.
And with us, as always, no matter what you do to make it otherwise, you can argue with
him every single episode.
Make it clear that you do not value or respect his opinions, make fun of him, call him names,

(01:02):
give him unhealthy foods after he had a severe heart attack.
And the one thing that would bring him closer to death is those healthy foods.
Not only do you bring them, you force him to eat it for this podcast that nobody listens
to.
Michael, I refuse to ever call him cellos ever again.

(01:23):
Now that we are done with this stupid fucking movie, even though I kind of liked it, Larsen.
Crank three motherfucker.
You son of a bitch.
Never over.
I'm going to Tony Hinchgolfy.
You son of a bitch.
Welcome everybody.
It's Fried Rice Podcast.
Let's get right into it.

(01:43):
I hope you've all had a great week or life.
I don't know if this is your first episode, whatever, fuck it, I don't know your schedule.
But yeah, the what are we smoking section is how we like to open these things off because
yeah, we're smoking the whole time.
We're going to be high.
That's just how it goes.
And we have a very tight 20 minute episode that will turn into longer than that.

(02:04):
Every episode is scripted for 20 minutes.
So if you've ever listened to one of our episodes, just blame the weed we're smoking.
If it's gone any longer than that 20 minute mark, which we never had a 20 minute episode
of anything, even our even our ones that are supposed to be even the Halloween ones that
were supposed to be just 20 minute hours.
Yeah, they're just as long.

(02:24):
That's because you decided to watch the Carrie Diaries on top of all the other stuff.
That was a that was I was hoping there'd be more more death at the end of the Carrie Diaries.
I like said no one except for me.
I guess after watching the Carrie Diaries, not enough people died in that telekinesis
unless I'm missing it.

(02:45):
I must be missing something to break the fourth wall a little bit here.
The no, I'm going to right now of our Christmas episode that we're recording this week.
Did you watch multiple movies for that one and two?
Because there is a second one.
I started to.
Did you know there's a second one?
Oh, my God, I forgot there's a Larry the Cable Guy version.
Yeah, I did not know until I got him.

(03:08):
It's Larry the Cable Guy.
I got 10 minutes in.
Even on the image of it, they didn't even show really who was in it.
By the way, we're being secretive for no reason.
Jingle All the Way is one of the holiday one of the Christmas classics that we're going
to cover for our eight crazy nights of Christmas.
Well, yeah, there's like 12, maybe 13 days.
There's a lot we're calling it because that's how it started.

(03:28):
There's more than eight days.
Just roll with it.
Merry Christmas.
The entire month, 25 days of Christmas.
We're starting in November, actually, at the end of November.
We really are.
So our first real Christmas is November, the last weekend of November.

(03:48):
But we're just like all those terrible moms or not Karen's, but like those middle aged
moms that are out there who the moment Halloween ends, we almost belong on Hallmark Channel.
Exactly.
We're the wall.
We're Wal-Mart.
The moment makes it a wall.
Hallmark Channel would not want us for the maturing Hallmark Channel.
If you're listening and you want a night adult content, we got you.

(04:12):
We could go PG probably.
No, no, no, we can't.
But late night, we've got you.
We've done kids movies and they're the worst ever.
So we can't really.
Oh God, our Hocus Pocus episode was three hours and there was a lot of porn covered
in that.
Where did it come from?
You don't know.
Listen and find out.
Yeah.
So welcome.

(04:33):
The one are we smoking?
I have brought these seven year old.
Yeah, I brought these joints that I found aged to wolves.
Call it perfection.
They're called big dummies.
I was like they're called little dummies.
Oh, I might've bought little dummies before and now I bought the big dummies.

(04:54):
So the big dummies, I'm assuming they're gra there a gram each.
I got mold on it.
No, it's not mold.
Mike, it's if you take a look, that's oil.
Just be careful.
They're sticky.
It's like breaking the jar.
Did you shove this in a jar?
No, no.
The one you're looking at is the one that didn't make the pole part.
So these big dummies are there's a lot of stuff.

(05:16):
Yeah, they're they're coated stuff in the bottom here that you could probably throw
into a bowl and kill yourself.
Yeah, well, maybe one day if I'm ever if I hit that if I hit that point where I want
to re experience what happened that one day when you did it with the Jeter Autumn flavored
ones.
Oh, that killed us.
I mean, this thing is the best way to describe it is like take a joint that's three or four

(05:41):
years old, roll it around in oil and then that oil somehow stays shiny and sticky and
wet looking three years later.
It almost looks like fruit leather.
It looks it looks rough.
And the thing is, oh, yeah, it does.
I see that now, especially in the light.
You can catch like if you look at it and with the light behind it, it kind of has that like

(06:06):
you roll up sort of texture.
Yeah.
So we're going to try this.
I remember last night I tried it.
It got me nostalgically high.
If that's three episodes to do today, that'll be interesting.
Yeah.
So I'll let you start this up.
We have three to do today.
No, you only have two.
I'm like, I was like, wait, I wasn't prepared for three.

(06:29):
Yeah.
So we're smoking.
We're doing our smallville after this.
You didn't watch.
I don't even have anything.
I was like, I'll fake it to make it.
I guess we watched a Buffy the whole series to do a little.
Yeah.
OK, great.
So, oh, and then what did you bring?

(06:50):
I went to T.H.D. last night and I got a Claiborne Co.
Claiborne Co.
Gold cuts.
And it's pretty good.
I've been smoking it last night.
It's an Indicate dominant hybrid and it's pretty tasty.
Pretty nice and fresh.
Oh, it's things hitting.

(07:11):
Yeah.
The freight train.
I'm trying to get it all the way lit.
Is this going to make us watch a 30 minute video on trains?
What made us, what got us there?
What movie were we watching that day?
I don't know.
It was one of the Halloween ones I thought.
Was it Hocus Pocus?
No.
It wasn't Hocus Pocus.
It was something.

(07:32):
That's a weird little.
Let's do a search for trains on our search and you'll find it.
So what do you think of the several years old.
It's melting.
It's staying away from the fire.
It kind of is.
It's melting down the thing.

(07:54):
What do you think of the taste?
Yeah, you got to try one, Mike.
The taste isn't bad.
You try one hit and then there's a corner I'm going to go nap in.
Andy will be doing the small episode by himself.
Yeah, you guys, I don't know if you, if you guys were, if you've listened to, there's,
yeah, that fucked you.

(08:17):
All right, everybody keep your mics away from them.
You're coughing.
Yeah.
That's interesting, right?
Something?
Yeah.
It's interesting.
I mean, it works.
I already got a little bit of a head change.
Yeah.
So if you want, so I recommend going to find if someone has some big dummies that are several
years old that they've been holding onto for a special occasion, that special occasion

(08:40):
in spring, because I realized something while we were watching crank high voltage.
Well I was watching it, but we all watched it.
Is that I'm kind of like cellulose myself.
So instead of having to keep my heart going with, with electricity and meth, I have to
keep my, my brain calmed down with weed in order for me to not like, I don't know.

(09:05):
I can't even imagine.
Can you, can you even begin to imagine?
The last time I wasn't, I think it was 19, 19 years old, maybe 20.
I think cause at around 21, 22, no, no, no, sorry.

(09:28):
Europe when I traveled Europe at 22, there was, we couldn't find weed consistently.
We did find it.
Like we were out there.
We asked, it sounds racist, but maybe I won't say this, but like we, like a few black guys
hooked us up while we were out and out in Europe.

(09:48):
It was just like one of those cool things.
It's just like we found a black guy.
There wasn't a lot of them in Europe, like, like Ireland and shit.
There's that one guy, he looks cool.
Uh, he's smoking and like, we could smell weeds or like, Hey, what's up?
He's like, yeah, from Nigeria.
Like I got the hookup.
And then we met another dude from Nigeria in Spain like a few weeks later.
So it was like, careful Tony, careful.
No, I'm just saying there are some, if this is a stereotype that Andy's putting out there

(10:13):
in the world, there are some pretty chill Nigerians in Spain and Ireland.
Sorry for breaking the fucking internet with that stereotype.
I'll put it out in a second.
Cause it's a lot.
Yeah.
But God damn, it's actually pretty good.

(10:35):
I'm getting fucked up off this thing.
You want one more?
So that's the water we smoking.
And since I already brought it up, let's get right into it.
We're talking crank two, although it doesn't have the two it's crank high voltage is what
it goes by.

(10:56):
And this is Jason Statham's followup.
This is so funny.
You guys are just fucking good.
I mean, I cough all the time.
It's nothing different for me.
I cough a lot of regular weed or a pipe, but I'm okay with a bomb.
Not so bad.
I need the moisture I think.

(11:18):
Yeah my unfortunately the, I don't know what I put in the beginning of this episode, but
it was a lie.
I'm sorry for lying to you that bong rip in the beginning.
You know what I'm going to do?
Cause I'm going to make it so over the top.
It was, it was manufactured.
I'm going to have it be like, like the cleanest most like, like bubbling.

(11:38):
Like the best one we have.
Right.
Yeah.
Like take the one from the sublime, the open of that sublime song.
I won't rip one off.
I'll make my own cause that's the fun.
I think it's like how often as a, as a Foley artist, you get to get high, just crank a
mic to 11.
And then let's go.
Right.
I got it.
So the one you heard in the beginning, obviously it was manufactured.

(12:00):
That's why, because my bog is out of commission right now.
I need a new down step, which I'll pick up today.
So let's get into it.
We open, well, we don't have to go see, we don't have to go beat by beat, but there,
I do have some beats, right?
Well, like the opening of this movie is a video game.
It's a video game recap.
Yeah.
Which is kind of fun.

(12:21):
I was like, great recap.
That's pretty funny.
Um, now I, I do have one issue and it's, I'm willing to forgive.
I'm willing to forgive the whole movie on the idea that this is a alternate universe
than our own because, and, and, and, and here's, here's

(12:43):
my, here's, here's my understanding.
Oh wait.
It has to be.
It's because the amount of abuse that people can take, right?
The fact that the, like the Mexican dude's head was like, you were suspended and like
the artificial heart and stuff.
So we're living in like sort of a hybrid of like a cartoon universe and a regular human
universe.
And the fact that a heart transplant is so easy and the a hundred year old man just walking

(13:07):
around the next day.
Which I'm going to blow this off the top.
Do you know who played that hundred year old man?
Yeah.
It was, uh, right.
Wasn't it, uh, it's David Carradine, which is nuts.
I did not know that because I saw that he was in the, uh, in the credits and I was like,
who the fuck?
No, this movie has like some star power.
When you go through it, it's like insane.
Dwight Yocum is the, uh, he's the doctor.

(13:30):
The doctor is great.
I don't know.
At the time of this movie, was he that old as the, as the part he was playing?
I looked him up on Wikipedia and he had
a
character.
No, no, no.
Dwight Yocum.
His, all of his hits came out in like the seventies eighties and early nineties, maybe nineties.

(13:51):
So this was 2009, 2004, 2009.
So yeah, he was.
Yeah.
Uh, so, uh, the newscaster, I guess then could theoretically say the word bullshit on TV
if this is an alternate universe.
There was actually an issue I had because he was like,

(14:11):
and all this other bullshit.
And I was just like, why would a newscaster say that?
It almost takes away from the movie a little bit
in a weird way because I was just like,
why would he say that?
I think it kind of sets it up though.
That's kind of where the first time you go,
oh, this is not real.
Real.
This is all like, honestly,
in this movie it wouldn't surprise me at some point
if this was just a fever dream somebody had.

(14:33):
Yeah.
Sure.
It's so insane.
Because it's, yeah, because like,
I mean the fact that he survives the helicopter crash.
Even the opening scene.
Without any broken bones.
Just lands on a car, yeah.
No, yeah, he's fine.
He's running around after this.
No, he's fine.
It's just his heart's messed up.
Yeah.
So.

(14:53):
Survived the poison.
He did.
This has gotta be hard for Mike to watch
the fucking heart surgery part.
In the beginning, yeah.
Was that rough?
No, because it's so fake, you know.
Yeah, but at the same time it's pretty.
Being awake the entire time.
Yeah, him waking up.
It's like that when he woke up I'm like, holy shit.
Dude, ashing in his open wound.
I mean, they even did shit like,

(15:13):
this thing starts as a straight comedy.
This is not what, this is absolutely a comedy.
I mean, they pick him up off the ground with a snow shovel.
They do, yeah.
It's insane.
There's a lot of weird.
Weird little choices that you go,
oh, this is just straight comedy.
In a way, I think that the,

(15:35):
they almost had too much,
this feels like the director was taking a lot of input
from the people on set.
We got that at the end there when we saw the porn stars
doing ad-libbing. Absolutely, their own lines.
Yeah, ad-libbing their own lines.
So if he's letting the porn stars ad-lib,

(15:56):
then you know that.
I think there's a lot of ad-libbing this movie.
Yeah, and so.
Like.
I think they just had a lot of fun making it in general.
You can tell the whole credits broken up
with the outtakes and stuff like that.
You can tell they had fun.
This movie felt like something we would have made.
It was just like we're out doing, having fun.
The camera angles, everything about it felt very,

(16:16):
like I was watching, I was like, how did this take,
it was what, was it 10 million to make or something like that?
20 million, 10, 20 million to make?
I'm like, how?
Yeah.
There's a lot of people.
There's a lot of people.
A lot of people.
But still, like.
I mean, but do you think like,
Dwight Yoakam was charging that much for?
No, not, just individually, a lot.
I'm not even talking about the stars.
I'm talking about the extras.

(16:36):
Extras make $3, $4 a day.
And there's, jeez, there's, I don't know,
10,000 extras in this movie.
A lot of extras.
It's insane.
But the, I will say this, the,
because I was an extra on The Longest Yard,
the Adam Sandler one.
I was in the football scene.
I was in the audience.
Yeah, I don't think they paid all those people.
Those people.

(16:57):
So like the horse track people.
No, I don't think that.
No.
Yeah.
But there was a line that says,
how to become a paid extra.
And a fucking sandwich that wasn't that good.
And an apple and an orange juice.
But there were a lot of paid just on the street scenes
and then the in the in between.
I think you get paid if you are told to do something
other than like sit there.
I think if they're just like,

(17:18):
hey, we need you to walk by here,
then you're a paid extra.
And I think you're, then you become a SAG actor
you can become if you get a talking line.
A line, right.
And there's a lot of lines from extras in this.
I mean, a lot.
Yeah.
I think I just saw a thing from like,
Brad Pitt, where he was talking about
when he was a waiter or an early on in his career,
he got, he was an extra for this role.

(17:38):
And so like in the role, he was a waiter, sorry.
And he, he didn't have any lines.
He was just supposed to put the water down or whatever.
But instead he like, he's like, all right,
that's my thing.
I can become a SAG actor or whatever.
So he like comes up, he's like,
can I get you anything else?
As he says that.
And the director goes, cut.
And the like production assistant walks over
and she's like, if you do that again,
you're off, you're off the set.
Just do stick to your fucking like shit.

(18:00):
And he's like, okay, sorry.
But it's just like extras are always trying to sneak
in lines to get that, get that SAG.
But I feel like Crank High Voltage is one of those movies.
If you were lucky enough to be an extra,
this is the kind of movie where he would let you get a line.
I feel like, because.
They might cut it.
They might make you do it again.

(18:20):
And they might keep it, might not.
Like those porn, those porn stars.
Or porn.
Well, they already have a SAG card, don't they?
From porn?
Well, if they were real porn.
Those are not, those are not you.
No, you can't SAG in porn.
It goes against the whole premise, right?
You get a perk, a perky or a perk.
Yeah, it's perky, yeah.
Did you notice Amy Smart in it?

(18:42):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Now, the one thing I like about Amy Smart a lot
is her role in Butterfly Effect starring Ashton Kutcher.
Now she plays the romantic lead.
I knew this was coming.
Zack and Mary make a porno is great.
She's funny.
If you're a new time listener, I love Butterfly Effect.
I'm surprised we haven't covered it on the show.

(19:03):
I'm surprised it's a buffy and not a Butterfly Effect.
That's weird that we did that.
We just haven't brought it up in a while.
Trust me, we're doing some Butterfly Effect.
Maybe that might be the first move of the new season.
It can't be the first one.
Yeah, because the first one's Mike's choice.
No, the first one of the new season is Die Hard, right?
No, that's the season finale.
That's the season finale.

(19:24):
But I might start strong with something
like Butterfly Effect, then we get back into our order.
Yeah, but that makes us watch like, I think there's
like five of those.
No, I don't know if I want.
We're going to break from that.
I don't know if I want to ruin the franchise.
Only one.
Only the first one.
We don't need to go, well, the second one's not bad.
It's photographs.
Here he goes.

(19:44):
And I think the third one is videos, which is interesting,
because the first one is Diary.
But I feel like you've told me enough about the second one
that I feel like I've already watched.
We can watch one and you can do all the other stuff.
Because you know everything.
Just did it last week.
Well, maybe if I Butterfly Effect my way back to my
Butterfly Effect is just an ongoing loop inside my own

(20:06):
head, where I'm constantly sending my own consciousness
back to a memory that's like a bad one for me.
And then I just kind of live through that grief or sadness.
No, no, no, no, not.
But it's not the same memory, Mike.
It's like if something reminds me, oh, that reminds me
of like a girl or whatever that I used to know, then I

(20:28):
immediately think of probably the worst time I've ever had
with that girl.
And then I live through that moment.
I don't have any low light reel in my head.
What if it was like you playing with Randy and then you're
talking with Randy and he's like, remember that time when
this happened?
And then you like all of a sudden go back.
That was your Butterfly Effect is Randy.
Randy's my puppet.

(20:49):
That was not a bad little Brennan Randy.
Yeah.
A Brandy.
Brandy.
That's.
Oh, Brandon.
Brandon.
It'd be Brandon and Brandon.
Brandon.
Yeah.
That would be your little puppet.
Oh, man, we should totally do a little like, hey, hey.

(21:10):
I'm Randy.
Have a play day with Brandon and Randy.
Brandon and Randy.
Oh, God, now we're.
You're reaching my level of fucking delusions here.
So you I like that just this quick little exchange.
But when he leaves the so after he beats up the doctors

(21:32):
and he leaves with that little box
and he steals the clothes, which the outfit later I noticed.
Nice outfit.
I like those shoes.
I like the I like like the fit.
Like it's a good steel still good.
Yeah.
And so he leaves.
And then the first guy runs into some Asian guy goes, you lost?
He goes, nope.
And he just fucking hits him.
I thought that was great.
That was the timing on that was perfect.

(21:54):
Slicing off the tip of an elbow.
That was almost as bad as terrifying to holy shit.
I did not want to see that.
Oh, that was bad.
It made you cringe.
Yeah, it was great.
I think the shotgun up the ass was more tolerable than.
Oh, maybe it's a little bit more.
The nipple removal elbow was what got really got.

(22:17):
I think it goes elbow worst.
Nipple close second shotgun.
It was a try.
Well, yeah, because he also on the shotgun, he didn't pull the trigger.
He never pulled the trigger, which helped on the shotgun.
Yeah, you kill the guy.
Yeah, that guy's just going to have to get major colon surgery.
And he and he lubed it up for the guys.
Lube it up for some tar with some.

(22:40):
What's the bucket of roofing tar?
It wasn't oil. I thought it was oil roofing.
Oh, OK.
Holy shit.
Now, but this I keep forgetting cartoon.
This is so cartoon.
So this is live.
This is a live action cartoon that we watched.
Yes, that's it.
That's probably the best description.
I think I can go. It's a live action.
You know what's currently reminiscent of it is the boys.

(23:04):
Yeah. Oh, no, but the boys is grounded in reality in the sense that like
it's only what their powers can do.
I feel like this doesn't give a fuck about any rules.
It's cartoon because like literally he goes.
He goes from falling out of a helicopter to
to getting the most electrocuted that you could possibly get.
No, he's Wiley Coyote. Exactly.

(23:25):
Yeah, he keeps surviving.
He's well, exactly. So it's a cartoon.
And all the characters in it are cartoons.
So, yeah, him shoving a shotgun up the ass.
We should have gotten a
that that that that that that that that that.
And then that guy goes, that's all folks as he's pulling, you know,
walk around. I got that when he jump started himself
with the jumper cables and turn into Sonic.
Yeah, just fucking. Oh, yeah.

(23:46):
Or when they turn into.
I was trying to explain this to Mike.
I don't understand when they turn into paper,
machete, giant versions of themselves and fight.
Yes. I don't understand.
That scene is so close when they're in that electric area.
I get the idea that they wanted to turn them into kaiju's having a giant fight.

(24:10):
So powered up like it fucked with him.
It fucked with his mental head, like he got so powered up in his heart
that it like changed his perspective of reality.
Yeah, I get that.
But it's like a weird decision to take them
and then just make warped versions of them the way that they did.
Which is like a mask.
It looks like it's at the very end of this movie.

(24:31):
He becomes Ghost Rider. OK.
Yeah, he just becomes Ghost Rider at the end of this movie.
Now, I will give her the hug.
Bailing should have pushed him in the pool.
Yeah, that would I mean, I just feel like that's I understand
what they're going for, whatever.
But like I that would have just been a nicer, just more realistic.
Like as he's coming to hug her, she goes, we're just talking about this

(24:53):
as a car. I know. I know. Yeah.
The whole thing is.
But what I would it would have been like if you know, cocksucker,
like or could kick them or whatever.
And he fell in the pool.
But as he's like drowning in the pool, we get the end.
And it's just his burnt face and he's like drowning.
That could have had the same effect.
But oh, God, just watching him burn was rough.
It was early. Yeah.

(25:15):
Why is she wearing pasties at a strip club?
I would have demanded my money back if I was one of the patrons there.
If I was one of the guys and Amy Smart goes up to strip
and she takes her top off and she has two X's on her nipples,
I would be pissed.
The reason she did it, obviously, this movie has no qualms
about showing titties is Amy Smart didn't want to show her titties.

(25:36):
But she does later. So it doesn't matter.
No, there's a clip of titties. That's not her.
No, her face isn't attached to those.
You're talking about the one sex scene where they it's super cut. Right.
I thought about that.
It's like literally you see her face, you see her leg.
You know, those are stunt titties, stunt titties, 100 percent.
Yeah, no, no, because if she was willing to show,
she would have showed in the very first part at the strip club.

(25:56):
Well, I didn't know if that was because they couldn't or whatever.
No, if you look at every other stripper in there, they're naked as fuck.
Pasties or not. I didn't even know.
No, no. Everyone was naked as fuck.
I mean, I think it was not.
I think it was topless.
There's gratuitous nudity in this whole.
Yeah. Oh, no.
And the director didn't care about everything is gratuitous in this movie.
Not nudity, violence, comedy.

(26:19):
All of it is gratuitous.
But I'm just saying the pasties.
I feel like that was a weird choice.
It's like I think it was just because, yeah, because she didn't want.
She's probably contractual. Yeah.
No, yeah, I know she didn't want to show her titties.
I get that. But it's just why put her in a strip club then?
That's all I'm saying. You don't want to show her titties.
Don't show her titties.
Don't have her be a stripper.

(26:40):
Have her be working at a strip club with pasties on that or have her like, like
the bartender. Yeah.
Yeah. Not the stripper who when she takes her top off,
it's just like the Jessica Alba thing in Sin City.
It's like everyone wanted to see just, you know, I mean, like we all did.
Yeah. But it's like you wouldn't be happy at a strip club like that.
I'm just saying.

(27:00):
Did Jesus age, Chalios, the Mexican dude, I feel like he shoots
this chick's implants on purpose at the end there, because in that fight,
he shoots. Once again, speaking of cartoon, no, yeah.
And she's screaming without.
And they're bubbling out.
And but then you see him and he kind of does like a smile and then leaves.

(27:21):
I was like, he did that intentionally.
He he fucking shot her titty intentionally.
Pedro is great in this.
I forget the actor's name. Yes, the brother.
Yeah. Pedro's brother.
Well, it's not Pedro. But yeah, I guess the twin brother.
The twin. Yeah, he's great.
Was the other one gay, too, in the last movie?
Oh, well, they were.
Well, they showed him together in the same club that looked like a gay club.

(27:44):
So I mean, but that could have just been a brother supporting his gay, his gay
brother. I just don't remember if they made any.
Well, because he was any direct implications in the last movie or if he had a boyfriend.
I it's been a really good relationship.
I mean, he was feminine acting a little bit like this guy a little bit.
So who knows? But him and the prostitute were like friendly, like they dated before.
I don't think I don't think they're I don't even think this character is truly gay.

(28:07):
No, I think he's whatever.
Whatever. Yeah, exactly.
I think he's whatever.
Yeah, no, because I thought at the end he was no, his interactions with the strippers
come from they were just as friends.
Yeah, just as friends.
That was a weird that was a little rushed at the end.
I feel like we were missing something.
I feel like I just call part of this movie rushed this entire movie.
Yeah, no, that's your fever.

(28:27):
Yes. No, you're right.
It's it's the whole movies.
It's yeah.
Yeah, the plot's not it's just kind of there.
Like it's yeah.
Who is it?
Dead strippers everywhere.
Yes.
Yeah.
Strippers everywhere.
Why did I put laughing my ass off his message?
Doc, Miles going to have to choke bitch.
Yeah, that was the best line.

(28:51):
Are you talking about that's around the same point as the donut bits that kept coming up?
The cops, the cops, the cops and the donuts.
That's just being a straight comedy.
He steals a cop car.
There's a donut in the seat.
I didn't notice that.
Yeah, I didn't notice that.
I saw the running out of a donut shop.
And then the cop is eating a donut when he when he all chasing him, all chasing him.

(29:12):
And then they go by the donut shop and the other cop is eating a donut.
The shop and the other cop see him coming out of the donut shop.
They like five in a row.
Just little donut jokes.
It's hilarious.
Within about five minutes.
That's pretty good.
I noticed the donut shop.
This movie is basically slapstick.
Yeah, this I was waiting.
I was kind of waiting for you to say that.
It is a slapstick.

(29:33):
Yeah.
I don't know what his message is.
I should have made a note there.
Why?
Oh, in between the in between the cops showing up or in between that the strip club place
and them leaving in the cop car.
What happened there?
Like when he was when when he was surrounded by cops and he beat them all up.

(29:53):
No, that didn't happen.
No, I know he didn't kill any of them because I put I put those cops would have had their
guns drawn when they pulled up on him.
They didn't.
They pulled out like nightsticks, even though he's like an insane person, like kicking
people's asses or whatever, covered in blood.
There's been gunshots.
This reality.
Yeah, weirdly.
In this hyper violent reality, the cops open with nightsticks first.

(30:15):
That was when they tased him and beat the hell out of him.
And it helped.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what he found out about the tazer.
Yeah.
There was a message.
It was like, give him a message.
One of the messages was he didn't kill any cops.
Yeah.
He kills everybody else with no problem.
He does not kill cops.
Yeah, which is great.
I do like that.
He doesn't even he fucks them up a little bit.

(30:36):
Yeah.
And they might away.
They might.
Yeah.
So, OK, then we get into the cop car and you have
Amy Smarts in the back with another stripper.
And this other stripper is all over trying to liquor and stuff.
And Amy Smarts like, get the fuck off me.
Like, who are you kind of thing?
Like, why?

(30:56):
They work together.
They're both strippers at the same strip club.
They know each other's names.
They're friends.
They were hanging out backstage 20 minutes ago before Amy Smart got on fucking stage.
Yeah.
And she's just been like, Shelly, what are you doing?
A bunch of people just got shot.
I told you I'm not interested in you like that.
Stop.
Like, we're coworkers.
What the fuck?

(31:17):
Sarah or Michelle or whatever.
You know what I mean?
Like, the fact that she's just some random skank licking on her and she doesn't really
know who she is to the fact where she has to head butter off of her and then steal her
key was extreme.
And I know it's a cartoon.
We'll forget all that for a second.
That's just a weird like we don't know that they're coworkers.
We do.
Are they revolving or strippers?

(31:38):
Yeah, I was going to say we don't know that they're coworkers.
Have you ever worked in a strip club?
Because if you notice in this movie, there are strippers everywhere.
I think every female in this movie other than the one old lady is a stripper.
It's like.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
Okay.
So maybe.
They're everywhere.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Maybe stripper is just like the.

(31:58):
It's just the job any girl can get.
But there is I know you know, I've never worked at a strip club, but having gone recently
to a strip club, one of the things that happened was as we were leaving a the guy, the owner
was just like, hey, you guys should stick around.
We got a stripper coming in from out of town.
She'll be here just a little bit.

(32:18):
She's a big deal.
We're like, I mean, we're we're good.
We've accomplished our goal of sitting next to each other, looking at naked women and
not really talking for about an hour or maybe 20, 30.
I don't know how long we were there.
I saw the inside of some girl's soul, I think, through her through the through one of her
holes.
I don't remember which one.
And and after it.

(32:40):
But then but then as we were leaving, the woman pulled the girl pulls up.
She's pretty.
And, you know, I couldn't get great look.
And I was just like, OK, so you do get visiting strippers, I guess.
Probably in these small towns like this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah.
But in this world, she's a Shelly or whoever the fuck that red headed stripper is, is a

(33:05):
visiting high end stripper from a different neighboring strip joint.
And she's that's why she's all hyped up.
Thanks for solving that.
That was a big critique I had.
The nipples.
Holy shit.
I was just like, why?
Like why?
There was the punishment.
I like it.

(33:25):
It was a punishment.
But why that as a punishment?
Like, why is it like, you know what to do?
Apparently, they do it a lot.
Yeah.
Cut your nipples off.
Damn it.
I fucked up again.
You look over at your body and fucked up before you.
Yeah.
I got no more nipples, man.
What do I do now?
I would put I would have liked next.
I would have liked if if if the guy was like if you had a little speech beforehand, he

(33:48):
was like, do you know what the word superfluous means?
Yeah.
And they're like, and they're like, no, what?
It's like it means something that doesn't need to be there, much like a man's nipple
and much like you in my organization.
You get what I'm saying?
I would have I would have liked that so much.

(34:09):
That would have made sense.
I just thought of that right now as we were talking about it.
But I was like, that would have fucking rocked, dude.
Great.
That would have made that I'd be like, OK, I get it.
I get it.
I needed to justify it to like why the nipples.
And it's like, that's it.
He thinks he wants to get rid of superfluous things.
It's all gangsta.

(34:30):
You're in anything extra.
Yeah.
That's the smartest thing I've ever said in my life.
I might have helped the grade a little bit.
Yeah.
Superfluous.
My my accent there was awesome, by the way.
I said, hey, it's the dude from Boondock Saints to who was I talking about?
The boss.

(34:50):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're just talking about.
He plays the third Boondock.
I like him a lot in Westworld.
He was great in that.
I haven't watched Westworld.
I mean, I've watched the movie, but I'm sure you're not talking about the first two seasons
of the show were great.
After that, I kind of you know, I saw the first disease that I ever wanted to happen.
Wait, hold on.

(35:11):
Circle back to this disease thing.
I don't want to drop Westworld because I want to say two things.
One, seriously, we'll go back to this.
But Westworld, I've seen the movie, which is just a straight action flick of cowboy
goes bad, chases them through not only cowboy world, but through medieval world and through
future world.

(35:32):
I think you get to find out he's a robot at the end.
No, you know, he's a robot straight up the whole time.
I mean, well, yeah, because they're going to a place where they know everything's robots.
But then the robot, it's more of like a Terminator movie than it is anything else.
It's like a straight up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So if you watch, I haven't watched all the series.
I watched the first maybe episode or two, which is wonderful.
And I'm going to watch it.

(35:53):
But her season was really the best.
Second season was pretty good.
Season three was kind of just uneventful.
And then four, I don't really remember.
I'm pretty sure they did for.
Well, if you watch the first, at least end of the first season, anytime it cuts to a
room that is a circular room, that's red, that's inside the main base, one of the homies

(36:15):
there is my buddy Carlos.
And he got a recurring role because he was one of the techs.
He's one of the techs.
OK.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's awesome.
He's one of my he's he's not like a big time actor in the sense that no one would know
him.
But he's the he has a bunch of speaking roles.
I mean, he might have talked in it.
Oh, like he's done a bunch of shit.
Like there's a there's a show called The Border.

(36:38):
I think it was no.
Was it?
There's a there's a show that came out that was excellent where it was a girl like a
Mexican girl was laid direct like her dead body was placed.
I think the cutter happened.
They put half right on the California side of the US side of the border and then half
on the Mexican side of the border to force both agencies to have to like investigate

(37:01):
it together or whatever.
And at one point the dudes like a dumb move by a criminal.
Hey, let's get two agencies involved.
No, no, no.
There's a there's a plan behind it all.
Like, I don't know.
That's exactly but I'm sure that's why they thought that, too.
I'm sure that's part of the thought process.
It's been a while since I've seen it.
But at one point, one of the characters finds out that someone I think they loved died.

(37:24):
And my buddy Carlos is the coroner that delivers the news to him.
And it's a very impactful ceiling.
One of the more like he mostly just wears white coats in his parts.
He has in fact, in fact, I'm going to tell you two more things.
One is he he played a doctor.
It's the only time I've ever watched this particular Nick show that came out in the
last 10 years, 50 years, whatever.

(37:47):
But he plays a he played a teacher who was the definitive expert on bees.
Like he was the science teacher or whatever.
And he was in a mock jury being questioned by one of the kid lawyers about bees.
And he answers her questions.
And then like it makes a point or whatever.
I thought that was great.
But I think the most interesting thing about Carlos other than I love him, you're a great

(38:09):
guy.
I love Carlos, but one of the we might have him on.
Actually, I've invited him on before.
It's just it's tough to get out here.
He does act a lot.
But he was in a wheat thins commercial.
And this wheat thins commercial is great.
It involved two of my favorite things, wheat thins and puppets.
But there's a puppet who's on a who's in a insane asylum type thing.

(38:33):
I mean, I don't think they call it not insane asylum.
Sorry, a mental hospital.
There's a hospital.
Anyway, he's there.
And he's and and the doctors, my buddy, Carlos and another guy, he's a doctor in this.
Yeah, they walk up and they go.
They go, sorry, sir.
Sorry, but you can't have any more wheat thins, bro.
Like they're telling the little puppet.
And then he goes, you can't take my wheat.

(38:55):
Does he reaches under the pillow and he gets a wheat.
Does he just start shoving them in his mouth?
It just starts going while they're holding him down.
And he's like, I want my fucking weight.
It's a river, right?
And it's a super funny commercial.
And I loved it.
And he got paid like good money for this.
Right.
I don't want to break down his personal finances.
But the way he broke it down to me was like every time it aired, he got an X amount of

(39:17):
money.
Part of it went to manager park goes to agent.
He gets a good chunk.
And then and then the way he was talking about how it was airing, it was like 30 times a
day on most channels and then like other channels is like more.
And it was national.
So it was like all across the spectrum.
So like just think even if it was like I'm not saying this was the money, but like it

(39:38):
was even if it was like 20 bucks a pop, I think it was even more than that.
But like 20 bucks a pop, 50 times a hundred, several hundred times a day.
Right.
Or whatever it is across the country.
And so he the problem was and I was I was really I was loving this commercial.
I was like telling all my friends, I showed him there's a Facebook group.

(40:02):
And I for Nabisco, this woman starts this tie raid against a smear campaign against
this particular ad.
And the way she structures it is she goes, this is insensitive to people with gluten
allergies who can't enjoy wheat thins.
And as much as they would like to be one of those raving mad insane asylum patients that

(40:27):
you're so like quick to dismiss as being just a funny joke.
We do feel that way on the inside when we see people eating crackers and stuff.
And like on one minuscule, tiny little Ken doll sized hand, I understand what she's going
through.
People got to get over them.
But then, yeah, you know, go fuck yourself that my buddy now doesn't make money because

(40:49):
he's in a funny commercial and you can't handle when you're impeding other people's lives
because of your feelings.
That's a problem.
Yeah, that's yeah.
Get over yourself.
Keep your shit to yourself and let people live their lives and do funny stuff.
Say anything about them you want to.
Yes.
Because here's the thing.
If we're doing politics, just real quick, which we don't normally, but like Tony comedy

(41:12):
and politics and Tony Hinchcliffe's.
Yeah.
If you hire a Tony Hinchcliffe for your rally, expect some and you get a Tony Hinchcliffe
set, then you're fucked.
I thought his set was pretty funny.
I don't blame Tony Hinchcliffe for that.
That's not his problem.
It's just you don't.
They should have.

(41:32):
It was a dumb move.
It was a dumb decision to hire him.
Yeah, that's it.
And I think everyone.
But you got Tony Hinchcliffe.
They definitely did not watch any episodes of Kill Tony before.
No.
All right, let's get him.
Yeah.
Dude, he should.
You know what, though?
And it's kind of funny.
I can kind of see how it all went down.
It was Trump does Rogan and he's in Austin.
He's hanging out with Rogan and Rogan's like, you got a rally coming up.

(41:54):
I've got a guy.
He hosts the biggest podcast, live podcast.
He's been boosting you up for years.
Right?
Because Tony does.
He doesn't expressly say I'm voting for Trump, but he always goes, but you know who I just
know that, you know, my vote's going for and then like, but.
But he's a comedian.
He's doing his job.
Yeah, I think you're allowed to have whatever.

(42:16):
People going after Tony Hinchcliffe makes no sense.
Go after the Trump, the people who organized it.
Yeah, but I did.
I did.
It was a stupid decision.
I saw a very funny thing though, Shane Gillis, Shane Gillis, and he, and he says he's like,
bro, can you imagine if Trump loses and it's and it's Tony Hinchcliffe's fault?

(42:37):
And then we're the we're in World War Three or Civil War because Tony Hinchcliffe is the
Franz Ferdinand of this fucking situation.
It's like everything was kind of going all right.
And then he comes up and does like the Puerto Rico joke and then like tanks the fucking
election and then we get war from it.
Oh my God.

(42:57):
Speaking of that joke, I do.
I do have one thing that is a little political, but not really.
I just want to know overall.
Such a big deal was made about the Puerto Rico joke.
And I don't think that was not the worst joke he did.
No, the watermelon joke was way worse.
Hilarious though.
But we carved watermelons.
Yeah, come on.

(43:17):
But the reason it was worse is that was actually an audience member who was not who didn't
sign up for that.
That's just an unaffiliated black guy in the audience who got said that he's like he carved
watermelon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
That was a yeah.
I guess we're just so used to racism against black people that nobody cares.
No.
Well, and the dude probably laughed at it, too.

(43:38):
The audience member definitely laughed at it.
Like people, people can take a joke.
I will say this.
Most of the people I've seen covering this, if they bring it up at all, is they bring
up both.
I've seen both of those clips back to back a lot more than just the Puerto Rico joke.
I have seen just the Puerto Rico joke, but usually it's in the context of, hey, here's

(43:59):
some Puerto Rico Puerto Ricans speaking out against it.
And so they'll show that clip and then you get Puerto Ricans.
And that's like if it's an MSNBC or whatever, because a lot of like Bad Bunny and JLo and
all that.
Bad Bunny or Bad Boonie?
Because I've heard, no, no, no.
Puerto Ricans, Bad Boonie.
No, I'm only saying it that way.
I think it depends on your accent.
I'm only saying it that way because I've seen some, I've seen several white people talk

(44:23):
about Bad Boonie.
They say Bad Boonie and they say it because I think that's how they say it.
So I think it's just like.
Because they're saying it with an accent.
We're whiteifying it by saying Bad Bunny because that's how we see it.
That's how we see it, right?
It's Bad Bunny.
And I don't think he minds, right?
I bet you the guy who Bad Bunny doesn't care that white people call it Bad Bunny.

(44:44):
But I think it's like one of those put some respect on his names when you say it.
And I'm not sure.
I'll have to do more research to see how it's pronounced.
But like I have seen several people use like say Bad Boonie, like with the proper whatever.
So I don't know.
It's interesting.
So that was all about.
Westworld.

(45:04):
Westworld.
Now, what are you saying, this is the only disease that you want to get, which is.
Full body Tourette's.
I did write that down.
Full body Tourette's is so funny.
He does a great job at it.
And I bet you that's.
He was humping the car.
Yeah.
You were at that point when you were.

(45:25):
That same lady.
That same lady who complained about gluten allergies is bitching about full body Tourette's.
I watched Crank High Voltage and there's they're making fun of Tourette's full body Tourette's,
which is I think a made up thing.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah.
Because I know that you when I looked it up, you can have you can have physical tics and

(45:45):
stuff.
You can have tics but it's not full body Tourette's.
No.
Yeah.
That was funny.
By Lin or sorry, Bei Ling is annoying as fuck in this movie.
Yeah.
Like not.
It's on purpose though.
Yeah, it's on purpose.
But not in a funny way.
It's supposed to be.
I thought it was funny.
It's funny.
I think I like the subtitles that they put for her.

(46:05):
Did you spend any time in Asia?
Because if you did, it's very funny.
They all act like that?
Is that what you're saying?
Well, not all.
Is that what you're saying, Mike?
Are you like prostitutes?
All the Asian strippers act like that.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I've seen.
That's the character she's playing.
Yeah.
She's an Asian prostitute.
I've heard enough from friends that have gone out there.
They're just like, yes, they're really strongly.

(46:27):
Aggressive.
Come on.
Aggressive.
Yeah.
I wouldn't go to the red light district in Asia because I would be too intimidated.
Oh, it's very.
That's like when I went to the red light district and I didn't do anything there because I didn't
have any money.
I'll be honest.
That's why.
Because they were hot.
But I went to the Amsterdam red light district, which is a classy one.

(46:48):
And you know what they do there?
It's not them walking the streets holding your hand.
They're in a window.
A nicely lit window.
They're standing there.
It's like, this is what you get.
I'm hot.
Whatever.
Let's do this.
I'm in an area that's right.
I'm saying it's nice.
It's along the river.
There's across from restaurants like, you know, you can get yourself a cup of coffee
and check out the merchandise as your merchandise.

(47:10):
That's me.
Window shopping.
I would just say I was a very different person than I am now when I was 18 in the army in
Asia.
And that's, you know, my Superman tattoo.
That's where it comes from.
You got it out there.
I got it out there.
From a prostitute?
That was well, not from a prostitute, but that's where I got the nickname.
Great job.
That's where I got the nickname.
We'd be down in the red light district in the bars nightly.

(47:33):
You're telling me that you got the nickname Superman?
Yes.
From?
Because that's what the-
Your wife is going to hear this.
Your wife knows this.
Okay.
You Superman.
You come with me, Superman.
Oh, wow.
So, yeah.
Faster than a speeding bullet.
I don't know what it was.
Don't know.
Can't tell you.
I just know that there were several that were calling me that.

(47:55):
And that's when my buddies picked up on it.
Fuck it.
My tattoo came from them picking up on it.
And you liking it so much?
Well, whatever.
And me being a Superman fan anyway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
I picked Smallville for us to rewatch because you have a Superman tattoo.
Had I known that it was from filth, from filthy Asian prostitutes, then I would have had us

(48:19):
watch fucking Veronica Mars.
Something with less seasons.
With less seasons, you might have- Yeah.
Not a 10 season haul.
You bastard.
I would have watched Gotham.
I haven't seen that one yet.
Yeah, that one looks good.
It does look good.
So- Whatever.
I wanted a cat.
What a weird Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia therapist-

(48:44):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I love that scene.
It was so weird.
I'm so afraid of getting shot.
Well, but she was in the first movie, too.
So it was- I know.
I know.
But what I love is- The therapist is hitting on him all the time.
A bullet that gets shot before it shoots him, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, then you get
the entire therapist scene.
Yeah.
And then bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, then it hits.

(49:06):
So that bullet was going for minutes.
And I also like, why the fuck was she getting off on that, on their confrontation?
She was aggressively hitting on him.
She was like, yeah, get out there.
Get into somebody.
She was saying stuff like that, like over the top.
I know.
Wild.

(49:26):
Yeah.
There's so many scenes in this movie when you think about it.
It's like that scene, and there's the porn actor's strike scene.
It just goes on.
There's these little two or three minute scenes in this movie.
Yeah.
My favorite.
We're speaking of cartoonized.
Yeah.
I literally forgot about the giant gorilla, the strange Godzilla kaiju fight.

(49:46):
I was like, when I first watched this back in the day, I was like, because this is my
second time watching probably.
And my favorite scene was thinking of you when all of the fuck you cellioses came up
on the screen.
I was like, nice.
I need to clip that and just show it to Mike every time he walks in the door.

(50:07):
Fuck you, cellios.
You motherfucking cellios.
Fuck you, cellios.
And then Bailling, full body Tourette's guy starts spazzing together was great.
When she wakes up from getting fucked up and he gets his full body spazzing, they just
start on the street next to each other.
It's so funny.
That's right before he goes to the phone, right?

(50:29):
Yeah.
And the phone thing is, do you remember those phone cards?
Yeah.
When he dialed 400 numbers to make a phone call.
Yeah.
When I went to Europe, it was all phone cards, baby.
And what's crazy is I had a smartphone.
It was just right when smartphones were kind of coming out, I bought it.
I bought it the first ever Google, um, a first ever Android.

(50:51):
Yeah.
It was the S1.
No, no, I bought the S1.
No, sorry.
I bought the first ever Google phone or whatever.
Pixel.
It wasn't a Pixel.
It was a Galaxy S1.
I think it was what it was called.
So, yeah, Samsung.
So the first Galaxy, that is what I guess I'm bought.
Which I've been a Galaxy for, for.
It's still what you have, right?
Still.

(51:12):
Yeah.
I mean, whatever, Note 8, Note 10 or whatever.
I think my favorite Galaxy was the, it was the active, the S8 active.
It was like metal case.
I'd never had to have, like the phone itself was a full metal case with Gorilla Glass screen.
So you could literally, like I was watching people like throw it from like five stories
up down to the ground.
Five.

(51:32):
Just five.
That's dope.
It was a heavy phone.
My favorite just weirdly was the Note 7.
I really liked it.
I mean, I like the Note I have now.
It's better in every way.
But the Note 7.
Kind of the first.
It was, it was the first, no, it was like the first, like it was the first one that
I really, really liked.
And then there was also the one that started.

(51:53):
Yeah, kept blowing up.
Blowing up that you couldn't take.
You were a terrorist for owning one at some point.
I remember I had VR with it.
I had like the VR thing that you put your phone in.
And I was using it way after they were blowing up everywhere.
And so.
Put it on your face after you knew it was blowing up.
At some point it tells me, it's just like, hey, no, we're not doing VR anymore.
As I put it on, it's like, sorry, VR doesn't work for this anymore.

(52:15):
We disabled it because these things blow up in your face.
Go to, go to Verizon and change it, you idiot.
Get a new phone.
Because I was yelling at me.
Yeah.
I also really liked my first Razer phone.
I got one early.
There was a, I was, I worked at a Pizza Hut and there was a, one of those little like
back in the day Asian cell phone markets where all it was, was just cell phones.

(52:41):
And I hooked these dudes up with pizza all the time and they, sorry, Pizza Hut.
And they, they were like, Hey man, we just got the Razer.
They're not coming out for the States for probably another six months.
We can unlock it for T-Mobile or whatever you have.
And I was like, fuck yeah.
And so I went to school.
I was the first dude that had a Razer and people were like, that's sick.
Because there's, they had the stupid Nokia chocolates or whatever.

(53:05):
Yeah, exactly.
Mine was like, looked like almost like the matrix phone, not the matrix phone that you
could buy.
Yeah.
I wanted that so bad.
Do you remember that one?
It looked exact, but in hindsight, not that cool looking.
Just like in hindsight, Morpheus's glasses, not that cool looking at the time.
They were like defying gravity sort of, but like now I'm like, it would not be comfortable

(53:29):
at all.
Like it gave me the vibe of the loser from Steve Martin's, the loser, that little thing.
You just be like, I don't know.
I know it wouldn't fuck your eyes up like that would, but it kind of gives me hints
of that.
I feel like I wouldn't be able to breathe out of my nose because it'd have to be tight
enough on your nose to hold them on.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not a glasses user, so I don't know the struggles.

(53:50):
I only wear sunglasses.
Yeah, I don't actually, I rarely wear sunglasses.
Catalina, I've been to Catalina Island.
It's a small island, not a lot of people live there.
The people that do live there would absolutely know if there was a drug kingpin hosting a
machine gun fucking drug off.

(54:12):
It's a very small island.
I rode an electric bicycle through most of the island on a little tour.
You can zip line and see most people's house.
I'm just saying it's small.
This is weird that they chose Catalina.
You know why?
The director wanted to take his crew to Catalina Island.
He's like, guys, we've done such a great job.
It's pretty.
Let's go.
Let's go to Catalina Island.

(54:32):
It's beautiful.
And it is.
When I was in seventh grade, I didn't get the grades, or I think it was eighth grades.
I didn't make the grades to go to Catalina Island, which I think was just make basic
grades and not miss school.
I think I missed school and got bad grades because I just, me and school don't get along.
I didn't get to go to Catalina Island and everyone else did.

(54:54):
They said it was a blast.
And I forever was like, fuck, I bet that place is dope.
And I internally fantasized about Catalina Island without even really thinking about
it and then cut to 23 years old, 24 years old.
And the girlfriend that I was dating at the time, she had known this about me and she

(55:16):
got me for my birthday tickets on the little ferry to go out to Catalina Island.
We spent the day out there.
At the restaurant or one of the restaurants?
We ate at one of the restaurants.
We had seared ahi tuna right out of the fucking hole.
It was so good.
I love the restaurant.
One of the, like the, I don't know what restaurant, if there's multiple restaurants on there,
but I remember there was one that was like right on the ocean.
That had to be the same one I went to.

(55:36):
It was like a fish.
I think it had like a lobster or a crab as the sign or something like that.
That's exactly what I'm thinking.
Right.
Yeah.
So we went to the same place.
Did you get the appetizer, seared ahi tuna?
I don't remember what I got.
It was delicious.
I remember I was with, it was with my high school girlfriend and we had fun for the most
part.
But yeah, there's a reason she's an ex.
Wow.

(55:57):
I got through my story without dissing my ex, even though there are reasons she's my
ex as well.
Yeah.
She kind of, yeah, she, yeah, she tried to make it about her that day.
I don't remember what we were there for, but I think it was like my birthday.
So we both went to, wow, we both got the same birthday present.
Here, let's, let's, let's turn our mics off and say her name at the, at the same time

(56:18):
see if it was the same chick.
But yeah, that, yeah, I will say the food was delicious.
That was like one of the best restaurants.
It's like one that sticks out of my head.
It might not even be like one of the top tier restaurants in the world, but oh my God.
See, I think out of, out of that, it's like that restaurant.
And then on the other side, before the, before taking the ferry to Catalina, the, the parrot

(56:40):
person, the parrot lady or parrot guy that was there with, they have like four parents
and like, that was, that was where I got the idea that I want to eventually own a parrot.
That's like my retirement plan is to own a parrot.
You ever known anybody who actually had a bird?
No, pretty gross.
Yeah, they're gross for sure.
Yeah, pretty gross.
That's why I'm way, till I'm older, my kids are gone and I'm done with the grossness that

(57:00):
I have now.
And I start to miss it when I'm older and I'm like, you know what?
I'm going to get a parrot.
I'm glad I don't have kids or, or that, or parents or any animal whatsoever.
I don't want to clean up after anything other than myself.
By the way, you guys haven't gone into the restroom yet, but it's extra.
I went hard in the paint.
I thought you were about to like give us a warning about like.

(57:21):
No, not at all.
No, my bathroom is always clean.
I would never say it's not clean.
I do, I clean it all the time.
Yeah, for a bachelor pad, your house is always pretty clean.
Always.
I would say you don't even have to add the caveat for a bachelor pad.
I think that you can walk into my place and say it's very clean.
I don't know.
I've been looking at that dust.
Okay.
I know.

(57:41):
I know the dust.
I live in Arizona.
There's no getting away from the dust.
That's a whole process.
I got to take everything off and unplug things.
I know.
Then he thinks about it.
I do.
All the time.
He doesn't ever stop.
He lays at night awake.
God, Brennan's going to talk about that dust.
He's thinking about the dust.
He's at home thinking about the dust.
I know it.
I know that we're joking, but like you really wouldn't have any idea how many times that

(58:07):
dust pops into my head and it's you saying, it's you reminding me for the fourth time
about the dust.
It does creep into my head.
You live there rent free.
So there you go.
I was thinking about how dusty the back of that PS5 is.
New level reached.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I know what I'm doing tonight.

(58:28):
Okay.
What did you think about Corey Haim?
Wait.
He was in this?
Randy.
That's Randy.
Randy.
Who's Randy?
Her boyfriend in the strip club at the beginning and then it pops back up like three or four
times in a minute.
That was Corey Haim?
That's Corey Haim.
She beats the shit out of him.
Corey Haim, yeah.
She beats the shit out of him.

(58:49):
For a moment, when you said Corey Haim, I was trying to put Corey Feldman's face in
this movie.
Okay.
Because I can't separate the two of them.
The two Corys, yeah.
And I always think Feldman first because he's more, he's got a more distinguishable face.
Yeah.
Was this shortly before he died?
Before Corey Haim died?
What year did he die in?

(59:09):
More recently.
In the teens?
This was in the O's?
Well, yeah.
This movie, yeah.
We don't want to go into all the deaths that are related to this movie.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
Carradine.
Yeah, you're right.
God, there's a lot of people that have died.
In this movie, yeah, a lot.
Is Amy Smart still alive?
Yeah.
She's still alive.

(59:29):
But not...
America's Treasure.
Chester Bennington?
Chester Bennington was in this movie.
Who was he in this though?
Because I saw his name in the credits.
In the, okay.
Oh, he was in the dog park with the...
The dog park with the...
The dog park thing, yeah.
With the shocking?
That is Maynard Keenan, the lead vocalist for Tool is one of them.
Okay.
Chester Bennington, Lincoln Park.
They were both the two dog guys.

(59:50):
Those were the two of them?
And then, no, one of them was in the park separately that had a line, but then the other
dog walker was Danny Loner from Nine Inch Dancer.
Oh, wow.
They were all three.
And I guess part of getting the music for this, I don't know how they got them all bit parts

(01:00:11):
in it.
Okay.
Well, now that you said Danny, I think he must have been the guy who kept pressing the
button.
Yeah.
That, I'm vaguely making a...
I don't like...
One of the things when I listen to music, I try very hard not to look up what the people
look like.
Right.
Because it sometimes takes away from the music sometimes.
Sometimes.
Sure.

(01:00:31):
Sometimes it elevates it.
I like knowing what the Beatles look like for some reason when I listen to the Beatles.
Kiss definitely.
Kiss.
Kiss is fun to listen to.
Yeah, picture them when you're listening to them.
But like Tool is one of those things where like I'm vaguely aware he's a bald guy.
But then recently I watched a clip from a Pucifer, which is another one of his band's
live concert.

(01:00:52):
It was insane looking.
So like maybe I need to start doing some YouTube and on some Tool and some Pucifer in perfect
circle, his three bands, because I know he goes crazy.
But at some point, I think in the next year, the three of us are going to go on a little
wine tour to his wine place in Arizona.
Because Maynard owns a winery out here, like not far from us.

(01:01:15):
Like Kingman?
The one in Kingman?
No, not Kingman.
No, I think it's like closer to the Grand Canyon area.
I'll double check.
But I could be wrong.
But I know it's in Arizona, but it's probably several hours away.
But still...
We're through it.
We're through it 100%.
Get some Tool wine?
Hell yeah.
But anyway, yeah, that's amazing.

(01:01:37):
I did not even know any of that.
That's a whole extra...
I'm going to have to rewatch that scene with different eyes and like...
That's fucking crazy, Mike.
I didn't do...
This whole movie's insane.
That's what I'm saying.
Everything about this movie's crazy.
So back to Catalina, I feel real bad for just those random hotties that are dying at that
fucking party.
It's getting shot.

(01:01:59):
I don't like senseless pedestrians getting murdered.
It's realistic.
I'll give them that.
I'm okay with it happening movie-wise.
Yeah, they like killing strippers.
Yeah, but I just feel bad for them.
It gets a genuine sense of empathy when I see random pedestrians get killed at drive
bys or whatever.
That kind of vibe or if this happens where you're just a random hottie at a party, just

(01:02:22):
coked up enjoying yourself.
There's some dude you're going to have to fuck later, but he's going to give you money
and you're like, whatever.
Yeah.
Well, my thought about the ending there right there is the bad guy's keeping his brother's
head alive in water, but why?
What kind of life is his brother having in that water?
Not even really able to say anything but like, Chalios, fuck you, Chalios.

(01:02:46):
I know, I know.
Chalios, Chalios, fuck you, Chalios.
Yeah.
But listen, can you feel?
Yeah.
Fuck you, Chalios.
No, no, no.
Listen.
I'm just basically blink once for yes, two for no.
Do you remember my name, brother?
Chalios.
Chalios.
Yeah.
It's like worse than it's almost worse than like having someone in a coma because it's

(01:03:13):
like then they're not, it's like, you know that maybe they're dreaming about something
beautiful.
In this way, it's not.
It's this guy just sitting there.
Constantly just sitting there, eyes open, never blinking.
That's terrifying.
Chalios, Chalios.
Chalios.
It's like the whole movie is ridiculous like that.
It's not.
It's not just one scene.
It's not one scene.
Every scene in this has something ridiculous.

(01:03:34):
You go to the, even when he gets to the ambulance.
Yes.
Them having the battery pack he needs is the most ridiculous part of this whole movie.
Or this rare heart.
Yeah, this rare heart that he got.
No, you're right.
They have that.
Just one in a million Chinese brand no one's ever heard of, special thing, whatever.
It's in the ambulance.
No problem.

(01:03:54):
The best attention to detail ever in a movie would be pubes on the statues.
I mean, when it did that.
Oh no, when it cut close up on the Greek statue on the penis, they put pubes on them.
Oh, that's awesome.
So just think of like a Greek statue of pubes.
That's exactly what it was.
They showed us a couple times in the shooting.

(01:04:15):
You could see the statue, but I thought that was so funny.
So like just creative.
Okay.
When they did, do you suppose, you were talking about stunt moves earlier, right?
So do you suppose?
I'm always talking about stunt moves.
Be more specific.
I know, I know.
I'm just kidding.
In that horse track scene, they also pixelated.
Yeah.

(01:04:35):
Yeah.
Yeah, I saw that.
Which was insane to begin with.
But they weren't fucking for real.
Why would they pixelate it?
Because to not show the things that they're obviously wearing while they're doing this.
Like they're wearing a cod piece.
They're wearing like booty shorts or whatever.
And it's just like, hey, we'll pixelate it and it'll be funny.
We'll make it look like you have a huge dick, Jason.
He's like, great, I'm cool with that.

(01:04:55):
And then I got a horse that goes over.
Yeah.
Now it shows the dick.
Stairs shows the dick.
So hiding everything.
And then the horse dick just goes right above them.
Which is great.
I think that's a perfect director move because he's like, listen, we're going to censor the
real dick and people are going to be a little disappointed about that, but we're going to
immediately make you forget about it with a giant horse stick.

(01:05:17):
We're going to make her kind of into it because there's going to be a dick inside of her.
She's going to now be in the beastly alley for the rest of her life, which is such a
weird kink.
Yeah.
Because after he's just like, well, Chelyos, he burned to death.
It's like Chelyos, you were dead.
No, prank three.
And she's just at a horse track sucking horse dicks.

(01:05:37):
Just left and right.
She's like, yeah, they told me I could just wear a glove.
I just got to, they told me I got to make sure the horse semen gets in this bag.
I got it covered.
She just, she voluntarily.
Her new job is still the stripper, right?
Just jerking off horses.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, there's, I saw this documentary once where there's a woman who her entire

(01:05:57):
job in the small little is to blow air into a, into a cow's assholes.
Have you not seen this?
No, no, we have not.
When we're done with this, I'm going to show you an amazing video.
No, you're not.
I won't tell you what it's about, but there's a twist ending.
You're not going to see coming.
It's like an hour long documentary.

(01:06:20):
I just saw a clip and it was a, yeah, this one lady, her whole job is just, just blows
into it just to get it expanded so that they can get a certain kind of like a milk or cheese
from it.
It's weird.
She's a dairy farmer.
That's part of her job.
Yes.
No, I think it's her.
It might be part of her job.

(01:06:41):
It's not the only task she does.
There's one or two cows.
She just really.
This used to happen once in a while.
She really cares about the cows.
It just sucks that because this is like a small little village in like some different
country.
The one time the white people showed up with cameras was the one day she's going to blow

(01:07:02):
into the cows.
Cleaning the anal glands of the cows.
It's like, God damn it.
We've got to do this once a month.
They couldn't catch me yesterday.
Yeah.
I was hunting down some, some fucking wolf with a, with a crossbow.
No.
One of the, one of the weird videos I've been getting a lot lately on YouTube with animals

(01:07:23):
is like people cleaning like the hooves, like the abscess and things like that.
Like they're kind of weird to watch, but interesting to watch where like the guys like, yeah, like
you just see all this cut that out.
Oh yeah.
I don't like that when they cut the, when they cut the hooves.
It's intense, but that's what they got to do for care for the care of the animal.
But to hooves, hooves.
Yeah.

(01:07:44):
They're like fingernails.
Do they grow back?
They do.
Yeah.
Oh, they don't cut them all the way off.
They trim them.
So they trim them, but they grow back.
Yeah.
I know that.
It's like fingernails.
If they don't, if they don't trim them, then it's painful for the animal.
So they're running on their, so that's just fingernails going the whole time.
Yeah.
And shoes depending on if they need shoes.
Yeah.

(01:08:04):
If they need shoes, sometimes they don't.
I think it just depends on what they run on.
Did you notice who played Jeff's sister in this?
Ginger Spice.
Ginger Spice's sister.
I didn't notice that.
Whose sister?
Great.
Jeff, Chelyos.
Chelyos.
When do we meet his sister?
It's in the, it's one of those two minute scenes.
It's a quick one.

(01:08:24):
It's quick.
Yeah.
Are we talking about when he was younger?
Are you talking about his mom?
Oh, was it his mom?
No, it was his sister.
Thanks.
In the interview, when they did the interview thing?
Yeah.
When he was a child.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
Wait.
I don't remember.
Why are you such a bad kid?
Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't really a Jerry Springer kind of show.
Well, it wasn't really Jerry Springer.
It was more.
No, it was more regular, but it was the kid.
It was more of a Maury.

(01:08:45):
Kid doing that weird stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was the kid being weird.
Yeah.
Maury didn't allow that kind of violence.
The dream sequence probably is what it was.
More like a dream stage.
It's just crazy how many people in this that you're like, oh, there's a shit time.
Watching the credits to this, I was like, holy shit.
You know what, Ginger Spice 2009 is not a whoa.
It's more of like a I get it.

(01:09:06):
It's still, she's spicy.
She needs to do something.
Spice 2009?
Spice Girls.
Hey, don't you hate on the Spice Girls?
I'm not.
I would ever hate on the Spice Girls.
I love them very much.
For my 1997 or 1998 birthday, I took my family to go see Spice World when it came out for
my birthday movie.
And I think that was a direct opposition to probably something that's way less embarrassing

(01:09:29):
to say I took myself to go see it.
I think like at that time.
Final Fantasy?
No, no, I would.
Spirits of Thin?
No, I saw.
Wasn't it right around that same time?
No, no, that was.
A couple years ago.
That was 2000s.
Oh, OK.
I think, yeah, they couldn't pull off.
I think they were right around the same time.
Those kind of graphics in 1997.
Yeah, they could.
No, 1990.
Let me just put this in context.

(01:09:50):
I think 1997 or 1998, Toy Story.
OK.
You can't do Toy Story and have Final Fantasy Spirits Within in the same year.
It was just like a slightly different.
There was a slightly different.
Slightly different.
We're going to have to rewatch.
Spirits of Thin.
Listen, I've got a video to show you after it looks like it's a long video.

(01:10:11):
We have a montage video.
Pubes on the statue.
Absolutely love it.
Chellios has great shoes.
I love his whole fit.
Catching her on fire, I think was funny after he catches on fire and he hugs her.
She's like, ah, running away.
That was pretty funny.
As he sees her as Amy Smart's character.
Yeah.

(01:10:31):
Yeah, that was great.
That was great.
So yeah, it's a fun movie.
I give it a C.
It's not my favorite.
I won't watch it again anytime soon, maybe ever again.
It's not on my list of like top comedies, top action, top anything, not even top Jason
State, the movies.
But if we're talking about the lore, it gets bonus points because for the Laura Fried Rice

(01:10:52):
podcast, we have our own Chellios, the unkillable Michael Larson, which is going to be this is
not going to age well when you die.
So is it C for Chellios?
C for Chellios.
Yeah.
Well, the last one got C for Chellios, C for Craig probably.
So yeah, C for Chellios.
I give it a let's just do two and a half hearts, two and a half Michael Larson's out of Chevy

(01:11:20):
Chellios.
Does that work?
Okay.
What do you think?
I mean, I agree with the C. It's a fun movie.
Yeah, it's definitely one you can watch only every once in a while.
It's not a daily watch or even a monthly watch, yearly watch.
It's maybe every five years.
But it's fun.
It's still fun.

(01:11:41):
It's enjoyable.
See, 2.5 out of 5.
I don't have it.
About cameo appearances.
2.5 out of 5 full body Tourette's.
Full body Tourette's.
Michael?
Well.
Chellios yourself?

(01:12:01):
Well.
As Chellios.
As Chellios, I must say.
No, this movie's batshit insane.
Which I love in a way.
In another way, I could not watch it.
It's one of those that's like you're saying five years is almost perfect for this movie.
Because it gives you enough time to forget all the bits in it.
There's so many bits in this movie.

(01:12:23):
This movie could literally be shown in just sections.
You could just cut bits out of this movie and show them.
It wouldn't matter.
Yeah.
This is a, this is, I'm surprised.
We haven't gotten more of a TikTok explosion from a movie like this.
This movie.
Well, it's so old now at this point.
YouTube short.
No, but everything's old.
Yeah.
Bro, you go on TikTok, people are showing Braveheart clips.

(01:12:43):
You know what I mean?
Like that's way older than this.
It's also way better.
Yeah, it's Braveheart.
Yeah.
But are you telling me that some teens.
No, I think it could be done as a good comedy bit.
Yeah, you could do some comedy bits around this.
Some Gen Z, some Gen Alpha can't throw some fucking music behind him kicking everyone's
ass in there.
Yeah, because I'm not sure how much of this movie you can cut out without having stuff

(01:13:05):
that wouldn't, that they would not let you put on TikTok.
So one of the problems with this movie is you can't really show that no one under 18
can really see this movie.
It's not, yeah, it's, it's kind of.
They're not old enough to watch it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're not going to.
I forgot about all the nudity.
Yeah.
It's a ton of nudity.
How did you forget about the nudity?
The nudity and violence in this movie.
See the violence, man.

(01:13:26):
Well, we were just talking about the elbow.
Yeah.
The nipples.
The gore.
The gore in the violence is.
That's the problem I think is when you add the element of gore because.
You got nudity, gore.
Yeah.
Like more technically speaking, does Mortal Kombat, the 1990s one, does that have more

(01:13:46):
violence than this movie?
Because there's a lot.
About the same, bro.
There's a lot in this movie, shoot them up.
Like if you get rid of the, the, the, the shooting aspect, you really just get down
to the fighting scenes.
There's not that much fighting.
Not that much fight.
There's more a lot of just running around, being chaotic, chasing a lot of gunplay and
a lot of just, I guess, unnecessary gore, nudity and drugs or whatever.

(01:14:08):
But not a lot of drugs in this one, actually.
Now that I think about it.
The last one, it was all about drugs.
The last one.
Yeah.
This one was all about electricity.
What do you think the next one will be all about?
If they have to keep the, if they have to keep the theme going.
Maybe water.
Yes.
Because he has to stay.
Constantly drink water.
Yeah.
Because of the, because of the burns is what I was thinking.
It's like something to do with the burns.

(01:14:29):
Or something to do with the burns.
He has to stay hot.
Oh, because he's, yeah, because he's actually helping.
I don't know what it is.
Like, it's just like, he has to, it's just like, I don't know, man, you got to stay,
you got to stay warm, Chelyos.
He's Hell Rider.
Oh yeah, he's Hell Rider.
Hell Rider.
Ghost Rider?
Well, Ghost, no, you can't use Ghost Rider specifically though.
So you're calling him Hell Rider.
I'm calling him Hell Rider, say he can become another character.

(01:14:51):
God damn.
So they just call him the next one.
Now he's a superhero.
Frank Hell Rider.
Yeah.
He's the raging spirit who leaves cops alone and then just fucks.
Where's he going to fuck this time?
I don't know.
You got horse tracking this one and the bus station.
Well, it can't be Hell because he's going to fuck a real person.
So.
Well, Amy Smart dies.

(01:15:12):
But maybe, maybe like a club that's like Hell or whatever, like a, like one of those crazy
clubs in LA that's like Hell themed.
Hell themed.
Yeah.
Like something like, oh, Hell's Kitchen.
Hell's Kitchen.
He breaks into Hell's Kitchen in the middle of a dinner.
He just fucks her right on the counter.
And I bet Gordon would came here.
Right on front of Gordon on the counter.
Yeah.

(01:15:32):
And Gordon would came here.
He'd love it.
Yeah.
That'd be great.
So it's, it's batshit insane.
It's I don't even know how to describe this movie.
We've described everything in it, but yeah, it's, it's fun.
This would have made, what this movie would have been is a great live.

(01:15:53):
This would have been so much fun to sit in and joke on while it was on.
Better than Terrifier.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Well, fun instead of gore.
Yeah.
It's just, there's a lot more fun.
Half that video during the Terrifier, you're just, you're just like.
Like he just.
So yeah, exactly.
I couldn't, I just couldn't even.
You're like, oh my God.
I was trying to process during that whole movie.

(01:16:14):
This movie, there's nothing to process.
Nug Brendan was more, it looked like he was more invested in Terrifier too than you were
in that live one.
Yeah.
So, so because I am Cellios, I have to give this a B minus.
Okay.
B minus.
Okay.
So we'll make it a C plus.
Yeah.
Two C's and a B minus.
I'm okay with it being a C plus.
I was debating C plus anyway.

(01:16:36):
So crank two or crank high voltage gets a C plus, a Cellios plus, the Cellios approved
and then hopefully we don't have to say Cellios ever again or much ever again.
I'm not going to bring it up.
I'm done with it.
So you've been done with it.

(01:16:57):
I'll tell you what.
And guess what?
It's not your decision.
I'll bring it up.
I'll bring it up again if they bring it up again with the crank three.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And when you, when you die, by the way, I'll play that song again when we're doing the
Mike in remembrance episode, which by the way, we should probably, I mean, preplanning
on ironically, we should come up with some fun stuff to plan for that.

(01:17:22):
So that way, look, it's preplanned and then we know that it's, you approve of it and then
you'll enjoy it for that memorial episode.
You guys have to do a live watch of crank one, two, and hopefully three if it's out
yet a live watch with no break.
Sure Michael Michael.
I'll agree to that.
The moment this guy's out of the picture, I am terminating that contract.

(01:17:47):
Fuck this dude.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
Alive, Mike.
Yeah, this is going to age so poorly.
I mean, bro.
Oh, well it'll be fun.
Not the death, but we'll have a great memorial episode.
It'll be, I'm not dead yet.

(01:18:07):
I know people will get into this kill Michael Larson thing.
I know we're going to end with the song too.
No, I'm just kidding.
All right.
Tell me what draw your batteries are in.
Yeah.
Like always, we want to end our traditional episode with something that our good friend
who's going to be here next episode, Austin likes to bring to the, who gave us the idea.

(01:18:30):
It's called recreational recommendations.
That's great.

(01:18:55):
I love it.
So, mine is quick and easy and I'll be doing a Wednesday night book review on it soon.
Wednesday night book club.
So maybe that'll be out even before this.
So look out for it either now or next week, but it's for a novel called Fantastic Land.
My mom recommended it to me.

(01:19:16):
She just finished it and she was like, she loved it.
And so I immediately started listening to it, audio book, and I'm glad I'm doing the
audio book because it, this is one of those, if you're familiar with the book, World War
Z, World War Z is told from like the perspective of the survivors or whatever remnants, like

(01:19:38):
documents they could find, journals they could find, people who survive, tapes that they
could find of people from the zombie.
And it puts it all together in kind of a compilation, which is kind of a cool way to do it.
This is done in a way that's almost somewhat similar.
So it's different actors, well it's the same two people, but they're doing different characters.
It's different interviews of the people who survived the Fantastic Land, I guess massacre

(01:20:06):
is what you could call it.
And it, people who are related to it, people who studied it, people who have been researching
it since it happened, like all the this.
And as the interviews go on, I'm getting more and more bits and pieces of like what the
fuck happened at Fantastic Land.
And basically the gist of it being Fantastic Land is a theme park in Florida.

(01:20:29):
It's not real, but it's a fictional one, but it's pretty near the coast.
And so when this fictional hurricane comes in and fucks shit up, I think it's a fictional
hurricane, Hurricane Sadie, I don't remember that one.
But it comes in and it floods the theme park.
There's a few thousand people there that they get out of there, like all the people who

(01:20:55):
were there for the theme park.
But there's a procedure in place.
So the guy that built it in the 70s had a bunch of bunkers and he's like plans for if
it ever flooded.
He's like, we got this.
And there's a plan in place where if you work there, you can volunteer to stay behind in
one of the shelters, wait out the storm with the generators, just you'll be bored.

(01:21:18):
But while you're there, you get paid for every hour while you're working.
So a lot of people sign up for it.
It's called like the Operation Rapture or something.
And anyway, 300 and some odd people, 60 people stay behind, but the storm is a lot, lot,
lot worse than they anticipated.

(01:21:39):
FEMA doesn't come by to get them because FEMA knows that they're a pretty, that they know
that they have plans in place that no one's been calling out for them.
So they're like, cool, we can actually lower, like put them lower on the priority list.
And so in that, however long of a span it is, I don't know yet, these employees, Lord

(01:21:59):
of the Flies, it like becomes a Lord of the Flies situation.
And what makes it super unique and kind of fun is the way that the theme park is laid
out is there's five distinct themed lands and the way the, when the guy designed the
park, what he wanted was for each land to feel like you would, he wanted you to feel

(01:22:21):
like you went to five theme parks in one day.
And so each one is built differently.
Like the Pirates.
Six Flies, right.
Yeah.
Well, no, Westworld.
Way more, like almost more like Westworld if you meet five little Westworlds.
So like the Pirate Coves, he bought, he has working jail cells.
He wanted authenticity.
He has working lanterns, old lantern timies.

(01:22:43):
But then you go to Robot World, Future World, and it's all high tech stuff that doesn't
work without a generator.
The Fairyland doesn't really have, there's restaurants, whatever.
So these people, the employees started kind of congregating in their place where they
were most comfortable, where they worked and made tribes.

(01:23:05):
And I don't want to say anything else other than it does go a little bit Lord of the Flies
esque, but I don't want to say anything because it's so good.
I'm about a little over halfway and I am edge of my seat every time it's a new interview.
I'm like, who's this person?
What tribe were they part of?
How were they involved?
Because some, what was it called?

(01:23:27):
Fantastic land.
Adventure.
And it's just like one interview, the guy opens with saying like, well, I already talked
to my prosecutor.
We got this figured out.
So like anything I say, I can't get trouble for.
So I might as well tell you like the truth, but like I didn't kill anyone.
So like, or like whatever, like it's good.
It's really good.

(01:23:47):
So fantastic land.
That's a top.
I forget.
I don't know the author's name off the top of my head.
Is it Jason Lethko?
That sounds right.
Okay.
Came out 2017 maybe 2018.
I don't know.
It takes place in 2017.
But this also is a couple years after the fact, I think, or a year or two.

(01:24:09):
Is there an archaeologist that this must not be it?
I don't know.
This is, wait.
Okay.
It doesn't matter.
It's called a fantastic land.
So I can doubt it.
Yeah.
What is, what's yours?
I would say the wild robot.
It's actually, it's actually pretty good.
It's not, it's not what I thought it was going to be like, cause watching the trailer and

(01:24:31):
stuff you kind of like, it gives me flashbacks from the iron giant from when I was a kid.
And I was like, I don't want to traumatize my kids yet.
Like they're still young.
And then they watched it before I did.
Cause my dad, basically he bought it and then he signed us into their prime on our TV.
So they've just been watching it like crazy.
I've been catching bits and pieces.

(01:24:51):
And then like on my day off, I actually sat down and watched the whole thing and it's
a good movie.
It's horrible.
It's silly.
It's cute.
It kind of has, you know, it's moments that tug at your heartstrings a little bit, but
it's not nearly as aggressive as the iron drive.
Awesome.
It's on my list.
I've been hearing good things.
I know it's up for Oscars or was up for Oscar.
I think it was.
I'm not sure, but it's, it's good.

(01:25:12):
It's, it's cute.
It's cute.
Kids movie.
Enjoy it.
Enjoy with the kids or if you don't have kids, you're so.
Thanks for adding that extra caveat.
I'm looking at me right in the eyes when you say it.
I have permission now to watch this children's movie by myself.
Brandon.
Thank you.
I watched it.
My kids ran away.

(01:25:33):
I watched it by myself.
We do that.
We do that a lot.
My, my 11 year old granddaughter will be like, I want to watch this.
We'll be like, okay, as a family to watch it, we get about a third of the way through
it and we're looking around and she's gone.
I do that with episodes of bluey.
I do that with like, they'll put on bluey and they'll run away and I'm sitting there
watching it.
I'm like three episodes later and they're gone.

(01:25:53):
I'm like, where the fuck are they?
They were here.
It's, but you also have kids in the house for me.
It's like, I reviewed, I watched jingle all the way at 12 o'clock at night when my neighbors
could probably hear through the door going like, put the cookie down, put the cookie
down.
Uh, well.
Okay.
What was yours?

(01:26:14):
Mine.
A little different from your.
It's quite a bit different.
Uh, I watched, uh, maybe one of the sweetest movies I've ever seen.
Uh, and it's actually a documentary of sorts, or maybe you'd call it a road trip.
Well on our.
Is it will Farrell's train?

(01:26:36):
Ferrell's transparent and him going across the country after he tells him, but it's,
it's just, it's other than describing it as the sweetest movie I've ever seen.
I mean, it's got, it's funny.
It's got its things, but it's, it's, it's just sweet when you watch it, you end it,
you go, you know, I'm glad I watched that.
I feel better about the world.

(01:26:57):
Okay.
Uh, and yeah, they have their problems.
They run into people that are jerks, but they really don't focus on it.
It focuses on their relationship.
They've been friends for years.
This guy didn't come out as trans until he was like, I think it's 58.
He's married with kids and all that.

(01:27:18):
They talk to his kids and this and all that, but it's just sweet.
How first of all, how well in his relationship does not change.
You could say her now, right?
If she is her now, it's she's a woman now.
Yeah.
So then we'll in her relationship, but it was his relationship and then her.
Yeah.
But you're talking about her now, right?
Well in his relationship in the beginning, in the beginning does not change once she

(01:27:44):
becomes her.
So it starts out like the movie doesn't start out.
I'm saying the story starts out that he's, he's a man and they have like a 20 year friendship.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Him and will.
And then I've seen the trailer for now her and will have the same relationship.

(01:28:04):
Now will gets asked questions of her and stuff like that throughout it.
It's not the same relationship because previously he never made a documentary about road tripping
with his friend.
So it's a different relationship now because he's putting a highlight and a, and a, and
a camera behind it.
So like, I get that it's, it's them, but it's not them being, it's can't be them being organic.

(01:28:26):
It's them putting a documentary out into the world.
It feels pretty organic when you're going to cut things out though.
It was sure you couldn't because otherwise it'd be obviously it's 3000 mile road trip.
It was going to be a 75 hour movie.
But they're also not going to put like, even if they put stuff that is ugly in the movie,
like people react, like if, if people treated her poorly, some areas, not so much to her

(01:28:49):
face though, which is, which is good.
I could see them putting that in, but like, you're not going to have, I'm just, when the
camera is on, when something is being observed, the behavior changes.
Right?
So I'm, I agree that they're like, that their best friends, I don't think that their best
friendship has changed at all, but I don't think that we are getting into like the, I

(01:29:11):
mean, I feel like it's still a movie and it's still a documentary or it's still like a,
like a movie.
Yeah.
But if you have the camera there, you know, for so long, you forget it's there.
It's there so much that I don't, I think they don't even act, they don't, they, trust me,
you see when you get to the end of this movie and you see some of the stuff towards the
end, I think you might be right in the beginning of the movie, but by the end of the movie,

(01:29:32):
the camera's been with them the entire time.
We're talking about the entire time.
Cause it's like they shoot, shoot it themselves or they have a camera.
You know, I cannot tell and I, cause I wondered the same thing when I was watching it, whether
they shot it themselves or they had a camera person because almost all the shots are kind
of far away from so, but not super far.
And that's the thing that's, it gives me a Hollywood sheen to it a little bit.

(01:29:55):
Like it looks really high quality, you know, watch it before I make that, I'll watch it.
It's, it's, it was on my list and I, uh, I watched the trailer for it.
I've seen some people try to pick apart the trailer, you know, like, or like pick it apart
before they've seen it.
But I don't know.
I, it, the trailer makes me, it makes it look a little bit like, uh, like, well, I guess

(01:30:17):
the higher production value, the sort of, it's not very high production.
The movie itself, it's, I mean, they're decent camera, but it's a high quality in today's,
in today's 4k iPhone.
I'm not sure one shot on an iPhone.
You can't really tell every, well, every documentary now anymore.

(01:30:38):
Yeah.
Maybe I'm just, yeah, maybe I'm just, when I think of documentaries.
You think of seventies, eighties stuff in documentaries.
But I also think of, I also try to.
That anymore.
Yeah.
Like I just, like I've been watching the McMahon documentary, like Keep Pauling Asleep, like
episode four or whatever.
But that's been pretty interesting.
A lot of it's old footage and things like that, but the interviews and all that is high

(01:30:59):
quality.
Yeah.
Whereas none of this is really, I mean, there's a couple of interspersed old footage from
Saturday Night Live stuff.
Okay.
Because this guy was the head writer for Saturday Night Live for like 20 years.
Oh, wow.
And then he transitioned.
He's not, she's not now.
Okay.
Now she's retired.
Right.
She's, well, she's still writing for television, I believe.
They addressed that a little bit later because they asked about where she lives and she's

(01:31:22):
from like, I think it's Iowa originally, but she lives in New York still because she says
that's the only place I can make a living is a television.
So they don't really address where she's writing.
But being on Saturday Night Live before...
She's also head writer Saturday Night Live and best friends with Will Ferrell.
Like...

(01:31:43):
Some of the movies came from her.
Pretty sure she could live wherever she wants.
Well, at this point, yeah, you probably, yeah, because you probably made enough money that...
You know what?
She does not live like she has money.
Really?
It's kind of odd.
Well, she could have money and just live down to earth.
Because she's very down to earth as far as like her living, her house, and even in the
New York house is like in like, I don't know New York, but like I want to say Chappaquiddick

(01:32:07):
or whatever, some town outside of New York.
I mean, I'm curious how much...
Just a house that looks like a house around here.
It's nothing fancy.
The house she buys in, I guess several years before she had bought a house in Mojave, which
is one of the places they end up, is in Mojave, California, in this house that's dilapidated

(01:32:28):
and like been destroyed and because she bought it so she could, before she transitioned,
because she wanted to be able to just go away and live as a female and nobody know her.
It was kind of sad.
It was very point, that part of it when she was explaining it to Will about why she would

(01:32:50):
buy this piece of shit house out in the middle of nowhere.
It's emotional.
It's honestly, it's a really good movie that will make people who maybe think otherwise
think.
Yeah.
Well, good wreck.

(01:33:10):
I think that will wrap up usually our way lighter tones podcast.
Yeah.
It was fun talking about how much we wanted fucking Mike to die and what we're going to
do for his funeral and shit.
But no, no, let's talk about the horrific treatment that trans people get throughout
the country and the world, especially.

(01:33:32):
Well, fuck, anyway, with us, as always, this is the, is we've got Brennan, top, none, none,
none.
Not, not, not.
Not, none, none.
No, no, no, no.
Shipley up to Boston.
Have a good night, everybody.
We have Michael Chevy, Shellios for the last time from my lips to your ears.

(01:33:54):
person. Just get it right. And I am your host, Andy Rice. This has been the Fried Rice podcast.
We have been fried. This has been fried. This has been podcast. This has been in God. We
need you, Austin. We need you so bad. Where are you?

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