May 10, 2025 • 34 mins
Damien, founder of the Mental Health Association in Switzerland, shares his powerful journey from childhood trauma to mental health advocacy, revealing how his "inner echo" helped him survive and eventually thrive despite growing up in a violent environment.
• Started the Mental Health Association to combat stigma around mental health issues in Switzerland
• Grew up in Sydney surrounded by violence, alcoholism, and his mother's undiagnosed mental illness
• Developed an "inner echo" as a protective mechanism that helped him navigate dangerous situations
• Lost his brother to addiction and was heading toward jail before meeting his wife
• Moved to Switzerland thinking he could escape his problems but discovered his undiagnosed bipolar disorder had "snuck onto the airplane"
• Created the Coffee Foundation to bring "brightness and color" to mental health conversations rather than more "tears and heartache"
• Challenges toxic masculinity by emphasizing that "reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness"
• Uses Leonard Cohen's quote "There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in" as his guiding philosophy
Damien O'Brien
- Tel: +41 79 777 0489
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/damien-o-596032b/
- Website: https://www.coffeefoundation.com/
- Email: hello@coffeefoundation.com
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Voiceover (00:03):
Tales from the wild, stories from the heart.
A journey into the mind andsoul of fired-up business
professionals, where they sharetheir vision for the future and
hear from a different non-profitorganization every month as
they create awareness of theirgoals and their needs.
Dive into a world of untamedpassion.
(00:26):
As we join our host, ShireenBotha, for this month's episode
of Friends from Wild Places.
Shireen Botha (00:35):
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Welcome back.
You are listening to Friendsfrom Wild Places, with myself,
shireen, and my wonderfulco-host, tanya.
Tanya, how are you doing?
(02:03):
What's going on?
I feel like I haven't seen youfor ages.
Are you on a latest trip?
Tanya Scotece (02:11):
Yes, yes, yes, I'm traveling currently.
So I just got in from LosAngeles, currently in
Connecticut, and we'll be headedback to Miami later today.
So so happy to join you,shireen I know we need to catch
up, it's been too long and sohappy to have our guest with us,
damien, this morning.
So, yes, yes yes, yes, yes.
Shireen Botha (02:33):
So welcome, damien.
We'd love to introduce youlisteners to the founder of the
Mental Health Association, basedin Switzerland.
They are a non-profit volunteerorganization dedicated to
promoting mental healthawareness and combating the
stigma surrounding mental healthissues.
The suicide is the leadingcause of death and
(02:55):
hospitalization for youth inSwitzerland and much of Europe.
Their mission is to break downbarriers and foster a culture
that encourages open,non-judgmental conversations
about mental health.
They aim to provide a safespace for discussions,
envisioning a culture thatembraces vulnerability and
(03:17):
empowers individuals to seekhelp and support.
They dream of a world wheremental health is treated with
the same care and compassion asphysical health.
Well, welcome, damien.
We are in full agreement withyou and we're so excited to have
you on the show with us.
Damien O'Brien (03:35):
Hey guys, thank you so much for having me,
Honestly, from the bottom of myheart.
We start with gratitude because, I have to warn you, I'm not
podcast trained, so I'm on mylittle riding bicycle here with
my training wheels, and both ofyou are my training wheels today
to make sure that I don't falloff and do myself a mischief.
(03:59):
Thank you so much for having meand that was a great
introduction and, in a nutshell,that's exactly what I'm here to
represent.
Today is just something thatI'm sure it's not just
Switzerland based, but aroundthe world.
Mental health is, of course,something that is now at a
critical issue around the world,and we can always take that
(04:20):
first step back, becausesometimes, as adults, it's a bit
uncomfortable for us, but asyoung youth in this world,
there's never been a time morethat we need to actually come up
to speed about how we can evensupport our youth around us.
So thanks for having me.
Shireen Botha (04:36):
Yes, of course.
Yeah, as I said, we're in totalagreement with you and we're
excited to get into theinterview with you.
We have a lot of questions andthe we have a lot of questions
and the listeners have a lot ofquestions for you.
But, tanya, why don't you chatto the listeners a little bit
about our extra content thatwe're creating?
Tanya Scotece (04:54):
I will, I will, but I gotta shout out to Damien.
So, damien, I'm actuallyfilming this podcast from
Connecticut, which is where Iwas born and raised, and my dad
passed away in 2023, andactually 2022, I apologize, in
2022.
And his favorite place in theworld he was a travel agent was
Switzerland.
(05:14):
So it's just funny I'm not inConnecticut all that often.
I think I was here last time,probably in the fall, which was
October, and it's just amazingthat literally sitting here this
morning in Connecticut, and wehave a podcast guest that's from
Switzerland, which is my dad'sfavorite place in the world.
So kind of one of thosesynchronistic moments.
So, yes, but definitely lookingforward to the podcast and
(05:39):
hearing more about you.
But we do have from friends fromwild places.
We have extra content for aslittle as five dollars a month
or more.
If folks want to contribute,they can get extra, more
enriched raw content and anytopic that any of our listeners
choose.
So we always get flooded withcertain topics.
We're happy to have you thismorning, damian, as far as
(06:00):
mental health awareness andthings that you're doing and
what your mission and movementis.
So anyone can check us out.
Friends from wild placesShireen has us on all of the I
guess venues.
Is that what you call them,shireen venues?
Yes, so we are happy to haveyou subscribe and check out our
(06:21):
juicy content there.
Shireen Botha (06:22):
Right, right, yeah, tanya, it was 2022,
because that's when I came tovisit you.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, Physicallyhave that coffee, but that's
okay, that's fine, but from mymemory you're right, yeah, right
.
So, guys, I don't know if you,I know Tanya and I are true
(06:44):
crime enthusiasts.
We really enjoy keeping up withall the latest um, and one of
the the cases I've beenfollowing is the Jordan Hainan
one um, basically, it was JordanHainan was found I think it was
manslaughter for killing hismilitary uh, wife.
Um, there is a video that wascaught with the security camera
(07:08):
footage in the house of Jordanactually shooting his wife
Ashley.
It is.
I don't.
If you're not, if you're asensitive viewer, I don't
encourage you to watch thatvideo, especially if you have
trigger sensations in thatdepartment.
(07:30):
It's really not a good video towatch.
It's very sad.
The biggest question that Iwanted to chat to you guys about
was if you guys thought that itwas a fair enough judgment as
manslaughter or do you thinkmaybe he should have been found
(07:59):
guilty of first degree murder?
If you don't know, listeners,basically a former US Army
service member has been foundguilty of manslaughter in the
shooting death of his wife, whowas also a ranking officer in
the military.
A Kentucky jury convicted JordanHennon in the death of Sergeant
First Class Ashley Hennon intheir Harding County home in
(08:19):
June 26, 2023.
That day was Ashley's 37ththbirthday and the couple had
hosted friends to celebrate.
Prosecutors charged jordan withintentional murder, arguing he
harbored hatred in his heart forhis wife over their strained
relationship.
They relied on home securityfootage from inside the hennon
(08:40):
home that showed jordan shootingash four times, going into
another room to reload the gun,then returning to the kitchen to
shoot her one more time andthen spit on her body.
Jordan testified in his defenseand told the jury he broke
during a fight with Ashley afterallegedly enduring years of
abuse from her.
Hennon's defense claimed hesuffered from an extreme
(09:04):
emotional disturbance thatimpaired his judgment and,
interestingly enough, inKentucky, an extreme emotional
disturbance can be used as adefense that reduces a murder
charge to manslaughter, which isquite interesting.
The 12 person jury appeared toside with Jordan's defense and
(09:24):
found him guilty of the lessercharge of the first-degree
manslaughter.
The jurors later sentencedJordan to 20 years in prison and
the trial's penalty pays themaximum sentence for the offense
.
He must complete 85% of hissentence before he's eligible
for parole consideration.
(09:45):
That's all I'm going to say onit.
I normally give the listeners alittle bit of a roundabout of
the story if you don't knowabout it, but basically, uh,
just you know, from my point ofview, I'm I'm gonna be honest.
I think he should have gottenthe first degree murder charge.
To be honest, I don't think heshould have gotten the first
degree murder charge.
To be honest, I don't think heshould have gotten off with the
(10:06):
manslaughter.
But that's just my perspectiveon someone that's just been
following the whole trial.
What about you, tanya?
What do you think?
Tanya Scotece (10:17):
So what I've come to learn as I ripen in my age
is that there's alwayscircumstances and facts
mitigating circumstances andfacts that we just are not privy
to.
So I think you know, being on ajuror, you know, in the US, you
know, is you know, being partof that jury.
It is a team where they'regiven very specific instructions
(10:39):
and they have to follow thoseinstructions to go into the
democracy rule.
So you know personally, youknow, hearing the story, you
know, having researched it, youknow one would, I would I don't
want to say assume but maybethink that, yes, it probably
would have been, you know, afirst degree murder.
However, and with a big,however, capital, bold letters,
(11:02):
I think, so many times there arevery specifics with
specifications which actuallyreduce it to a lesser charge.
Now, having the video is, youknow, no one can dispute whether
it happened or didn't happen.
It was just a matter of thesentencing.
So if the jury found it basedon, you know, common law, case
law, things like that they canrefer back to.
(11:24):
You know, in Kentucky.
So each state here, you know,has its own guidelines.
I'm not familiar with Kentuckylaw at all, but I would say you
know, yeah, personally, itsounds as if first degree murder
would have upheld, but forcircumstances and reasoning
beyond us, the jury decided formanslaughter.
Shireen Botha (11:45):
Right, right, damien, what do you think?
Damien O'Brien (11:49):
I don't want to be a killjoy here, but I'm going
to go a little bit with Tanyathere even deeper.
Firstly, my compassion is toeveryone and anyone involved.
I know we talk about thesethings from an opinion but, as
maybe you know, tanya, maybefrom the funeral direction, the
(12:10):
impact of all of these horrificcrimes, just for me I can't have
an opinion because law is socomplicated and we look at this
an opinion on a trial and, likeyou said, there's so many rules
and so many kind of frameworkthat the argument has to fit
into categorisations and as aviewer, of course we say well,
(12:32):
what's right and wrong and whodeserves justice.
And of course we say well,what's right and wrong and who
deserves justice.
And of course my compassionstraightaway is obviously the
victim that's been, you know,the homicide that's taken place.
So I wish I used to have a bitmore of an opinion, like as a
spectator, when it came to thesekind of crime, let's say
(12:52):
investigations and so forth.
Let's take a step back to JohnnyDepp thing.
I watched that with intrigueand of course a lot of people in
public opinion thought thatJohnny Depp's not guilty of
everything.
But I'm pretty sure that JohnnyDepp was abusive in that
relationship at some point.
So you know where I'm goingwith this, and so there's no
(13:15):
winner in all these things.
So again, when it comes to sucha tragic event like that, again
I just feel sorry for everyoneinvolved.
Shireen Botha (13:26):
It's true.
You know, damien, we always sayhere at Friends from Wild
Places that this is a safe spaceand, at the end of the day, it
is what it is.
It's an opinion, it's just ouropinions, and it's no.
You know, it's not right orwrong, um, but this is
definitely a place where we canshare our opinions and still
(13:47):
love each other and respect oneanother.
Um, but yes, you are right, youknow 100 percent.
Um, I think there's no innocentparty when it comes to uh
arguments.
You know, there's always oneperson's side, the other
person's side and the truthsomewhere in the middle.
Um, but yeah, at the end of theday, um, someone lost their
(14:11):
life and that's.
Damien O'Brien (14:14):
I think one thing we can all agree on is the
cheaper version of legalrepresentation versus the more
expensive end of the scale andthe difference in the outcome
that comes from having, let'ssay, a highly skilled defence
attorney legal team, and itseems to match up all the time
(14:35):
with the result, doesn't it?
It seems to be, if you don'thave a fantastic or well-funded
legal team, you're going to endup in serious, serious
consequences, even if you're onthe right side or the wrong side
of public opinion or the jury.
Shireen Botha (14:51):
Right, true, damien?
So true, thank you for sharingthat with us.
Let's get straight into it.
The quotes of the day is veryimportant to us here at Friends
From Wild Places, and Damien haspicked a wonderful quote for us
.
He's said there is a crack ineverything, that's how the light
(15:13):
gets in.
And the person that originallysaid this was Leonard Cohen, and
let me repeat that again thereis a crack in everything, that's
how the light gets in.
And so, damien, please sharewith us and the listeners what
that quote means to you and whywith us and the listeners what
(15:39):
that quote means to you and why.
Damien O'Brien (15:40):
That quote is something that took me a long
time, probably even now, even tothis stage of 46 years of age,
to kind of understand, maybe,what that means.
Like you said before, I'm inthe, let's say, the Alice in
Wonderland country ofSwitzerland.
From the outside it has apostcard of perfection from its
chocolate to its water, to itsRolex watches, to the Toblerone
(16:04):
that you see is the Matterhorn,and I think that quotation could
even reflect to Switzerland inany maze.
Everything that seems perfecton the outside has a crack of
some type of imperfection.
And that quotation to me hasbeen something of a, let's say,
(16:26):
a North Star to recalibrate andrebuild myself from the
realization that I had multiplecracks in not just my mental
health but in my, in my, uh,outlook and purpose in life.
I would say a simple I had thewrong dream.
Uh, like a lot of people, I Iwoke up in life thinking that,
(16:49):
uh, the wrong type ofmaterialistic goals or the wrong
type of rewarding contentmentin life, what actually makes you
soul and content, was the dreamthat I kind of might have been
following with a lot of people,that materialistic things like
money, financial aspects, cars,materialistic things, fulfill
(17:13):
something inside and then,ultimately, um, you can either
go through a life of that tryingto fill that hole or you have
to stop and uh and rebuildyourself, and that's where it
happened for me.
So I'm here today, of course,and in the future, going forward
is that I embrace that, uh,those imperfections in myself
and uh, and that's where I'vefound myself, uh, in the most
(17:37):
growth in my life, which I'm iswhy I'm with you today so
special.
Shireen Botha (17:43):
Well, since we're talking about it's, you know,
damien, um, there's a reason whyyou started Coffee Foundation
and that was because of yourstory.
So we don't want to.
I know there's a lot ofsensitive parts to your story,
so we're going to allow you totell us your story and you can
(18:04):
tell us what you're comfortablewith and what you're comfortable
letting the listeners know.
But there's obviously a storyto why you started the coffee
foundation and, from the soundsof it, um, it sounds like a very
life-changing story.
So please go go ahead and sharewith us a little bit of your
background oh well, the, the,the people from wild places.
Damien O'Brien (18:28):
Well, firstly, I am from a wild place.
I'm from from Australia.
That accent you can hear.
I've tried to neutralise it outa little bit here in Europe,
but that strong Australianaccent is still with me.
And of course, I was born inSydney, australia, and I've kind
of been blessed in many aspectsof having lived on two planets,
(18:53):
as I would say.
I've lived on the original wildplanet of planet Australia and
now I live on the other side ofanother planet, which couldn't
be further from galaxies away,which is Switzerland.
I grew up in, like many people Ididn't grow up in, let's say,
luxury or silver spoon.
(19:14):
I grew up in a very type oftough, let's say violent,
multicultural environment, whichSydney can be like other big
cities around the world.
I grew up surrounded byparticularly a lot of violence,
and that was kind of my normal.
For a lot of young people today, you don't know what your
(19:36):
normal is till you get older andthat you actually can step out
of that to realise yourchildhood is crazy, as mine was.
I grew up with a lot ofalcoholism.
That was a big part ofAustralian culture.
It still is today.
Again, that seemed normal atthe time.
I also, of course, grew up witha mother that was always and
(20:00):
had always struggled with mentalhealth or mental illness.
I think back in those times,probably in the 80s, it was more
very, very taboo to talk aboutany type of mental health issue
and my mother struggled severelyfrom all my childhood which
looked like chronic manicdepression.
Today that would probably beclassified more if there was the
(20:20):
classification of bipolar.
My mother really had the verylow downs and didn't really have
the ups like I have.
She kind of was always terribleas a child to see your mum so
sad and so depressed and so kindof isolated and not
understanding why she wouldreact that way or why she was so
(20:42):
sad.
My father, on the other hand,he was a, let's say, a
functioning alcoholic.
But again, back in thatchildhood it was kind of the
norm to see alcohol part ofevery social activity in
australia.
If you don't drink in the 80sand the 90s in australia, uh
there was something wrong withyou.
(21:02):
You know it's.
We're in a lot different worldtoday and uh, so growing up that
was kind of my norm.
Domestic violence was a.
Again, today people would saythat's shocking normal.
That was a normal occurrence innot just my family but in many
families.
Abusing women from males underthe influence of alcohol and so
(21:25):
forth was normal.
That also instilled, of course,a lot of trauma in me as a
young person when you see thepeople you cherish the most and
the people you love the most.
Turning to certain violence andabuse, you kind of question from
a very early age, let's say,the foundations of what the
(21:47):
world is based on, and that'ssomething you never get back
because you realise, my God, theworld out there is a pretty
nasty, scary place and it's kindof that self-mechanism that a
lot of young people have.
They go into a survivalmechanism and for me, all my
(22:08):
young years up until I couldbreak free and escape was
probably just about that innersurvival that young people have.
And I probably remember as ayoung person let's not call it
psychosis, but that inner littlevoice that we all pretend we
don't have it's that protectingwizardism, as you as women, you
(22:28):
probably know that when you'rein a street and you have this
intuition that there's something, someone that could bring a
threat to you, I probably hadthis as a child, that inner
voice, and it was like a small,just echo inside me that would
say Damien, listen, this iscrazy.
This is what we're seeing here.
Police in my bedroom, you know,abuse, violence, attacks.
(22:50):
This is just not normal.
We need to survive and Ipromise you, if we do survive,
we're going to get out of this.
And you've got big things aheadof you.
And this was kind of like justa small echo.
I remember that from probablyeight, seven, eight years of age
to say this madness around, I'mtoo good for this.
(23:13):
Me and me inside, we, we'regonna, we're gonna, we're gonna
get out of this at some point.
But then, as you do, you, youlean on your friends and they're
part of abusive families andthey're choosing drugs as an
option to numb the pain or gointo a different direction and
and you just kind of cyclethrough a childhood of chaos and
(23:36):
then you say, okay, can I stayand survive long enough?
And then you see friends thatyou know that are good friends.
They turn to drugs and theypass away or they get arrested,
they end up in jail, and you seea lot.
It's called I call it the cycle, your circumstances of where
you are in that family networkkind of mark your passport for a
(23:57):
pretty well-destineddestination unless you're going
to have some intervention that'sgoing to break free of that.
And so I kind of survived.
I was lucky enough I playedprofessional rugby league in
Australia, which kind of kept meaway from drugs.
My drug of choice was alcohol.
(24:17):
Like most of Australians, bingedrinking is just a second
culture.
It's like playing golf, youknow, one beer equals 10 beers.
And it's kind of a cycle ofalcohol dependency which I
remember started early on,probably 15, 16 years of age,
(24:38):
and yeah, I kind of never knewwhat love was, never knew what
family was really, never knewkind of what.
Didn't know that.
Yeah, didn't know that therewas kind of going to be a world
for me.
I had a younger brother toothat was also part of this cycle
.
That unfortunately is no longerwith us.
He died of addiction and ofcourse I saw my brother
(25:03):
deteriorate rapidly and he wentdown the road of drugs and yeah,
I did all my best to.
You know, you just try tosurvive and then you try to save
and it's a cycle that neverends, luckily enough.
I kind of always had that innerecho in me that would grow from
(25:25):
that eight-year-old boy and thenit started to get louder.
So each year and each event itwould get louder and louder and
louder and that inner voice inme became probably the most
valuable asset that I still havetoday.
It's had this ability toterribly this might sound a bit
awkward, a bit crazy is that itwould screen, or I had the
(25:45):
ability to screen, the people infront of me and I could
immediately have, let's say, aprofile report Is this person a
threat to me, is this a foe oran ally?
And unfortunately, my innerfilter from such a young boy
doesn't have the politicalcorrectness to give me the
report to say this person's athreat and that person and I.
(26:08):
Even now, today, that reportcomes to me and I say, damien,
we're not going to take theinitial action, we're going to
just see through things.
So I ended up with this amazingability to, to navigate through
life and and and.
Then, luckily enough, I wasgifted, you know, an absolute
miracle.
(26:28):
When I was in my early 20s mylife probably wasn't going
anywhere other than to jail.
I've been arrested a few timesfor petty you know petty kind of
crimes and petty type ofdisputes in bars and stuff like
that.
I definitely was alwaystraumatised by the abuse.
I saw that women, for meespecially, were a sacred thing
(26:51):
to.
I could never understand howmen are violent towards women or
domestic violence.
So I just still today can'tunderstand it and I kind of yeah
, was always looking for thatlove or looking for that missing
to create my own family.
I just didn't have that type of.
I knew I had goodness in me,but of course, if you don't find
(27:14):
goodness to latch on to or tohave someone to express your
love or to love you, you can bea pretty lonely life.
And then one night in Sydney inmy early 20s I saw this little
brunette and of course I thoughtI was John Travolta and said
let's have a dance.
And she could barely speakEnglish.
I gave 20 bucks to the DJ, puton the Patrick Swayze and did
(27:37):
the lift in the middle of thenightclub.
She went up high, got herpretty good I was big back in
those days strong got her up andthen she flipped over the back
and did a somersault and landedin the middle of the disco
Saturday night in Sydney andthat was it.
That was kind of the uh, thatwas the, the moment where the
lightning strike and, uh, mywife, who you just met before,
(27:58):
of 20 years, um, came into myworld and, uh, I probably knew,
probably, yeah, probably, withinfive to seven days, that, uh,
it was like a sliding moment,moment in life.
You know people, the youngpeople today, I'm too young to
get, uh, married, I'm too old toget married and you think you
can pick and choose when thelightning's going to strike.
(28:19):
And uh, I knew that, that, uh,that woman that I met that night
, I knew, oh, hold on.
And uh, yeah, I went all chipsin, even at a young age.
And uh and um, you know, we goton the plane with a backpack
and nothing.
She met me.
I was in social housing.
I had a mattress on the floor.
(28:40):
My brother had just come out ofa double lung transplant for,
uh, his lungs failure due todrug use.
We're in social housing.
I had nothing I had.
I didn't have a cracker to myname.
I had no hopes.
I had nothing other than that.
You know echo inside me that itwas something big out there for
me and I had to stay in thegame.
(29:00):
And then, yeah, when I met mywife, she said, okay, I'm going
to take you to Alice inWonderland, I'll take you to the
chocolate factory, take you toAlice in Wonderland, I'll take
you to the chocolate factory,okay, what's that?
So we flew to Switzerland anduh, I didn't hesitate.
I said, uh, you know, I went tothe bank one Friday afternoon.
I think I had a couple ofthousand dollars in savings
money.
I took out, uh, every cent.
(29:21):
I went to the diamond shop,spent, uh, I spent three and a
half thousand on the diamond 500for dinner.
And I went all in and I saidyou're the one, and she said,
yes, and that was it got on thethree and a half thousand on the
diamond 500 for dinner.
And I went all in and I saidyou're the one, and she said yes
, and that was it.
Got on the plane and uh, and Isaid, yeah, as much as Australia
is a dream for everyone else,it had a lot of trauma for me.
So I kind of closed the book onthat and uh decided to, uh, to
(29:44):
try and run for my problems.
And uh, that's one thing we'lltalk about too is that there's
an amazing way that thoseproblems sneak on the aeroplane
when you're not watching.
You've checked in your bag andyou got your love, you got your
girlfriend, you got your newlife and we're going to run from
this.
And no, no, no.
I quickly found out later on inlife that those problems and
(30:04):
those demons and those tragediesand traumas where they'd snuck
on the aeroplane with me.
So that's where I am 20 yearsnow I've been in Switzerland.
It's been an absoluterollercoaster of a journey.
Slipping onto the aircraft withme was undiagnosed mental
illness.
I had bipolar disorder that hadcome and unfortunately taken my
(30:27):
mum and taken my brother.
Uh had just decided to bedormant in me, that's all it was
.
Uh, I was a young, outgoingpositive person as Australian,
but I was always, let's say, uh,highly erratic or, you know,
highly risky.
I've always been a risk takerand uh, I've been a gambler and
uh, high stakes and uh, you know, I did that in my sport.
(30:47):
I've always been a risk takerand I've been a gambler and high
stakes and you know I did thatin my sport.
I've did that in everything inmy kind of DNA and for most
people that's the fun part.
Oh, wow, damien's thehappy-go-lucky guy, he's the
life of the party.
You know what I mean.
But whatever goes up has tocome down, and bipolar is a mood
disorder if we want to start touse labels.
(31:09):
But I have incredible highswhich can't even be replaced by
narcotics.
Uh, that's what we're talkingabout.
We're talking like, once mylittle inner echo starts telling
me that we're good enough to doanything, he, basically that
inner uh grandeur inside youtells you, tells me, david, we
could do anything.
And you actually have to kindof navigate and say, well, no,
(31:31):
we, we can do anything, but wecan't take risks to endanger
myself or my children or riskybehavior and so forth.
So, yeah, that's kind of in anutshell where I am.
And today, of course, I createdmy own association, which has
got a broad name, the mentalhealth association, but that's
(31:54):
just the legal identity.
And then I thought, okay, I needto bring the craziness in me
and somehow take all of thedarkness, the hurt and tears and
pain that many people suffernot just mine around the world.
I think mental health hasenough tears and pain that many
people suffer not just minearound the world.
I think mental health hasenough tears and it has enough
heartache.
It doesn't need any moreviolins and it doesn't need any
more dramatic kind of tears.
(32:17):
It needs brightness, it needscolour, it needs a new
communication to talk to youngpeople to say, hey, absolutely
enough is enough.
There's no more shame in havingto reach out for help,
especially for men, and not toseparate the thing, but just
talking as a man, there's atoxic masculinity that I had to
grow out of, that reaching outfor help is not a sign of
(32:40):
weakness.
There's nothing weak about me.
There's nothing weak where Icame from.
But this was an ideology ofmasculinity in Australia.
Let's take Crocodile Dundeeback in the day have to be the
tough guy, have to be theunbreakable guy and I'm a former
rugby guy, got to be tough andyeah, that's sure.
You can be made masculinelytough and strong as a male man
(33:02):
and no one's taking that away.
But when you're a man and youhave a family and two young
daughters and teenagers, youalso have a responsibility to
your own health and to to seekhelp and not become collateral
damage.
And and that's what washappening to me, I was in a
self-destruction pattern andwithout this amazing woman to
actually have that hardconversation with me and say,
(33:24):
damien, I think you have amental health concern or a
mental health disease, whatever.
These days we've got so manywords we're not sure how to
label it and we stopped talkingbecause I don't know the right
word.
Who knows what the right wordis.
I was mentally ill.
That's a fact.
I needed to go to a psychiatrichospital because I was out of
(33:45):
control and thank God I gotthere and thank God I'm still
talking to you today about it,and that's the whole idea of the
Coffee Foundation is just toget people talking again, and
that's what it's all about.
Tanya Scotece (34:00):
Tune in next week for part two from Friends from
Wild Places.
Voiceover (34:06):
You've been listening to Friends from Wild Places
with Shireen Botha.
Be sure to subscribe to thepodcast from the links to catch
every episode and unleash yourpassion.
Tales from the wild, stories from the heart.
A journey into the mind andsoul of fired-up business
professionals, where they sharetheir vision for the future and
hear from a different non-profitorganization every month as
they create awareness of theirgoals and their needs.
Dive into a world of untamedpassion.
(00:26):
As we join our host, ShireenBotha, for this month's episode
of Friends from Wild Places.
Shireen Botha (00:35):
All right, welcome, shireen.
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QuickBooks advisor.
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Yes, I said that, a freeconsultation.
(01:42):
If you want to know more, gocheck me out at www.
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com and allow me to keep yourbooks clean so you don't have to
Welcome back.
You are listening to Friendsfrom Wild Places, with myself,
shireen, and my wonderfulco-host, tanya.
Tanya, how are you doing?
(02:03):
What's going on?
I feel like I haven't seen youfor ages.
Are you on a latest trip?
Tanya Scotece (02:11):
Yes, yes, yes, I'm traveling currently.
So I just got in from LosAngeles, currently in
Connecticut, and we'll be headedback to Miami later today.
So so happy to join you,shireen I know we need to catch
up, it's been too long and sohappy to have our guest with us,
damien, this morning.
So, yes, yes yes, yes, yes.
Shireen Botha (02:33):
So welcome, damien.
We'd love to introduce youlisteners to the founder of the
Mental Health Association, basedin Switzerland.
They are a non-profit volunteerorganization dedicated to
promoting mental healthawareness and combating the
stigma surrounding mental healthissues.
The suicide is the leadingcause of death and
(02:55):
hospitalization for youth inSwitzerland and much of Europe.
Their mission is to break downbarriers and foster a culture
that encourages open,non-judgmental conversations
about mental health.
They aim to provide a safespace for discussions,
envisioning a culture thatembraces vulnerability and
(03:17):
empowers individuals to seekhelp and support.
They dream of a world wheremental health is treated with
the same care and compassion asphysical health.
Well, welcome, damien.
We are in full agreement withyou and we're so excited to have
you on the show with us.
Damien O'Brien (03:35):
Hey guys, thank you so much for having me,
Honestly, from the bottom of myheart.
We start with gratitude because, I have to warn you, I'm not
podcast trained, so I'm on mylittle riding bicycle here with
my training wheels, and both ofyou are my training wheels today
to make sure that I don't falloff and do myself a mischief.
(03:59):
Thank you so much for having meand that was a great
introduction and, in a nutshell,that's exactly what I'm here to
represent.
Today is just something thatI'm sure it's not just
Switzerland based, but aroundthe world.
Mental health is, of course,something that is now at a
critical issue around the world,and we can always take that
(04:20):
first step back, becausesometimes, as adults, it's a bit
uncomfortable for us, but asyoung youth in this world,
there's never been a time morethat we need to actually come up
to speed about how we can evensupport our youth around us.
So thanks for having me.
Shireen Botha (04:36):
Yes, of course.
Yeah, as I said, we're in totalagreement with you and we're
excited to get into theinterview with you.
We have a lot of questions andthe we have a lot of questions
and the listeners have a lot ofquestions for you.
But, tanya, why don't you chatto the listeners a little bit
about our extra content thatwe're creating?
Tanya Scotece (04:54):
I will, I will, but I gotta shout out to Damien.
So, damien, I'm actuallyfilming this podcast from
Connecticut, which is where Iwas born and raised, and my dad
passed away in 2023, andactually 2022, I apologize, in
2022.
And his favorite place in theworld he was a travel agent was
Switzerland.
(05:14):
So it's just funny I'm not inConnecticut all that often.
I think I was here last time,probably in the fall, which was
October, and it's just amazingthat literally sitting here this
morning in Connecticut, and wehave a podcast guest that's from
Switzerland, which is my dad'sfavorite place in the world.
So kind of one of thosesynchronistic moments.
So, yes, but definitely lookingforward to the podcast and
(05:39):
hearing more about you.
But we do have from friends fromwild places.
We have extra content for aslittle as five dollars a month
or more.
If folks want to contribute,they can get extra, more
enriched raw content and anytopic that any of our listeners
choose.
So we always get flooded withcertain topics.
We're happy to have you thismorning, damian, as far as
(06:00):
mental health awareness andthings that you're doing and
what your mission and movementis.
So anyone can check us out.
Friends from wild placesShireen has us on all of the I
guess venues.
Is that what you call them,shireen venues?
Yes, so we are happy to haveyou subscribe and check out our
(06:21):
juicy content there.
Shireen Botha (06:22):
Right, right, yeah, tanya, it was 2022,
because that's when I came tovisit you.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, Physicallyhave that coffee, but that's
okay, that's fine, but from mymemory you're right, yeah, right
.
So, guys, I don't know if you,I know Tanya and I are true
(06:44):
crime enthusiasts.
We really enjoy keeping up withall the latest um, and one of
the the cases I've beenfollowing is the Jordan Hainan
one um, basically, it was JordanHainan was found I think it was
manslaughter for killing hismilitary uh, wife.
Um, there is a video that wascaught with the security camera
(07:08):
footage in the house of Jordanactually shooting his wife
Ashley.
It is.
I don't.
If you're not, if you're asensitive viewer, I don't
encourage you to watch thatvideo, especially if you have
trigger sensations in thatdepartment.
(07:30):
It's really not a good video towatch.
It's very sad.
The biggest question that Iwanted to chat to you guys about
was if you guys thought that itwas a fair enough judgment as
manslaughter or do you thinkmaybe he should have been found
(07:59):
guilty of first degree murder?
If you don't know, listeners,basically a former US Army
service member has been foundguilty of manslaughter in the
shooting death of his wife, whowas also a ranking officer in
the military.
A Kentucky jury convicted JordanHennon in the death of Sergeant
First Class Ashley Hennon intheir Harding County home in
(08:19):
June 26, 2023.
That day was Ashley's 37ththbirthday and the couple had
hosted friends to celebrate.
Prosecutors charged jordan withintentional murder, arguing he
harbored hatred in his heart forhis wife over their strained
relationship.
They relied on home securityfootage from inside the hennon
(08:40):
home that showed jordan shootingash four times, going into
another room to reload the gun,then returning to the kitchen to
shoot her one more time andthen spit on her body.
Jordan testified in his defenseand told the jury he broke
during a fight with Ashley afterallegedly enduring years of
abuse from her.
Hennon's defense claimed hesuffered from an extreme
(09:04):
emotional disturbance thatimpaired his judgment and,
interestingly enough, inKentucky, an extreme emotional
disturbance can be used as adefense that reduces a murder
charge to manslaughter, which isquite interesting.
The 12 person jury appeared toside with Jordan's defense and
(09:24):
found him guilty of the lessercharge of the first-degree
manslaughter.
The jurors later sentencedJordan to 20 years in prison and
the trial's penalty pays themaximum sentence for the offense
.
He must complete 85% of hissentence before he's eligible
for parole consideration.
(09:45):
That's all I'm going to say onit.
I normally give the listeners alittle bit of a roundabout of
the story if you don't knowabout it, but basically, uh,
just you know, from my point ofview, I'm I'm gonna be honest.
I think he should have gottenthe first degree murder charge.
To be honest, I don't think heshould have gotten the first
degree murder charge.
To be honest, I don't think heshould have gotten off with the
(10:06):
manslaughter.
But that's just my perspectiveon someone that's just been
following the whole trial.
What about you, tanya?
What do you think?
Tanya Scotece (10:17):
So what I've come to learn as I ripen in my age
is that there's alwayscircumstances and facts
mitigating circumstances andfacts that we just are not privy
to.
So I think you know, being on ajuror, you know, in the US, you
know, is you know, being partof that jury.
It is a team where they'regiven very specific instructions
(10:39):
and they have to follow thoseinstructions to go into the
democracy rule.
So you know personally, youknow, hearing the story, you
know, having researched it, youknow one would, I would I don't
want to say assume but maybethink that, yes, it probably
would have been, you know, afirst degree murder.
However, and with a big,however, capital, bold letters,
(11:02):
I think, so many times there arevery specifics with
specifications which actuallyreduce it to a lesser charge.
Now, having the video is, youknow, no one can dispute whether
it happened or didn't happen.
It was just a matter of thesentencing.
So if the jury found it basedon, you know, common law, case
law, things like that they canrefer back to.
(11:24):
You know, in Kentucky.
So each state here, you know,has its own guidelines.
I'm not familiar with Kentuckylaw at all, but I would say you
know, yeah, personally, itsounds as if first degree murder
would have upheld, but forcircumstances and reasoning
beyond us, the jury decided formanslaughter.
Shireen Botha (11:45):
Right, right, damien, what do you think?
Damien O'Brien (11:49):
I don't want to be a killjoy here, but I'm going
to go a little bit with Tanyathere even deeper.
Firstly, my compassion is toeveryone and anyone involved.
I know we talk about thesethings from an opinion but, as
maybe you know, tanya, maybefrom the funeral direction, the
(12:10):
impact of all of these horrificcrimes, just for me I can't have
an opinion because law is socomplicated and we look at this
an opinion on a trial and, likeyou said, there's so many rules
and so many kind of frameworkthat the argument has to fit
into categorisations and as aviewer, of course we say well,
(12:32):
what's right and wrong and whodeserves justice.
And of course we say well,what's right and wrong and who
deserves justice.
And of course my compassionstraightaway is obviously the
victim that's been, you know,the homicide that's taken place.
So I wish I used to have a bitmore of an opinion, like as a
spectator, when it came to thesekind of crime, let's say
(12:52):
investigations and so forth.
Let's take a step back to JohnnyDepp thing.
I watched that with intrigueand of course a lot of people in
public opinion thought thatJohnny Depp's not guilty of
everything.
But I'm pretty sure that JohnnyDepp was abusive in that
relationship at some point.
So you know where I'm goingwith this, and so there's no
(13:15):
winner in all these things.
So again, when it comes to sucha tragic event like that, again
I just feel sorry for everyoneinvolved.
Shireen Botha (13:26):
It's true.
You know, damien, we always sayhere at Friends from Wild
Places that this is a safe spaceand, at the end of the day, it
is what it is.
It's an opinion, it's just ouropinions, and it's no.
You know, it's not right orwrong, um, but this is
definitely a place where we canshare our opinions and still
(13:47):
love each other and respect oneanother.
Um, but yes, you are right, youknow 100 percent.
Um, I think there's no innocentparty when it comes to uh
arguments.
You know, there's always oneperson's side, the other
person's side and the truthsomewhere in the middle.
Um, but yeah, at the end of theday, um, someone lost their
(14:11):
life and that's.
Damien O'Brien (14:14):
I think one thing we can all agree on is the
cheaper version of legalrepresentation versus the more
expensive end of the scale andthe difference in the outcome
that comes from having, let'ssay, a highly skilled defence
attorney legal team, and itseems to match up all the time
(14:35):
with the result, doesn't it?
It seems to be, if you don'thave a fantastic or well-funded
legal team, you're going to endup in serious, serious
consequences, even if you're onthe right side or the wrong side
of public opinion or the jury.
Shireen Botha (14:51):
Right, true, damien?
So true, thank you for sharingthat with us.
Let's get straight into it.
The quotes of the day is veryimportant to us here at Friends
From Wild Places, and Damien haspicked a wonderful quote for us
.
He's said there is a crack ineverything, that's how the light
(15:13):
gets in.
And the person that originallysaid this was Leonard Cohen, and
let me repeat that again thereis a crack in everything, that's
how the light gets in.
And so, damien, please sharewith us and the listeners what
that quote means to you and whywith us and the listeners what
(15:39):
that quote means to you and why.
Damien O'Brien (15:40):
That quote is something that took me a long
time, probably even now, even tothis stage of 46 years of age,
to kind of understand, maybe,what that means.
Like you said before, I'm inthe, let's say, the Alice in
Wonderland country ofSwitzerland.
From the outside it has apostcard of perfection from its
chocolate to its water, to itsRolex watches, to the Toblerone
(16:04):
that you see is the Matterhorn,and I think that quotation could
even reflect to Switzerland inany maze.
Everything that seems perfecton the outside has a crack of
some type of imperfection.
And that quotation to me hasbeen something of a, let's say,
(16:26):
a North Star to recalibrate andrebuild myself from the
realization that I had multiplecracks in not just my mental
health but in my, in my, uh,outlook and purpose in life.
I would say a simple I had thewrong dream.
Uh, like a lot of people, I Iwoke up in life thinking that,
(16:49):
uh, the wrong type ofmaterialistic goals or the wrong
type of rewarding contentmentin life, what actually makes you
soul and content, was the dreamthat I kind of might have been
following with a lot of people,that materialistic things like
money, financial aspects, cars,materialistic things, fulfill
(17:13):
something inside and then,ultimately, um, you can either
go through a life of that tryingto fill that hole or you have
to stop and uh and rebuildyourself, and that's where it
happened for me.
So I'm here today, of course,and in the future, going forward
is that I embrace that, uh,those imperfections in myself
and uh, and that's where I'vefound myself, uh, in the most
(17:37):
growth in my life, which I'm iswhy I'm with you today so
special.
Shireen Botha (17:43):
Well, since we're talking about it's, you know,
damien, um, there's a reason whyyou started Coffee Foundation
and that was because of yourstory.
So we don't want to.
I know there's a lot ofsensitive parts to your story,
so we're going to allow you totell us your story and you can
(18:04):
tell us what you're comfortablewith and what you're comfortable
letting the listeners know.
But there's obviously a storyto why you started the coffee
foundation and, from the soundsof it, um, it sounds like a very
life-changing story.
So please go go ahead and sharewith us a little bit of your
background oh well, the, the,the people from wild places.
Damien O'Brien (18:28):
Well, firstly, I am from a wild place.
I'm from from Australia.
That accent you can hear.
I've tried to neutralise it outa little bit here in Europe,
but that strong Australianaccent is still with me.
And of course, I was born inSydney, australia, and I've kind
of been blessed in many aspectsof having lived on two planets,
(18:53):
as I would say.
I've lived on the original wildplanet of planet Australia and
now I live on the other side ofanother planet, which couldn't
be further from galaxies away,which is Switzerland.
I grew up in, like many people Ididn't grow up in, let's say,
luxury or silver spoon.
(19:14):
I grew up in a very type oftough, let's say violent,
multicultural environment, whichSydney can be like other big
cities around the world.
I grew up surrounded byparticularly a lot of violence,
and that was kind of my normal.
For a lot of young people today, you don't know what your
(19:36):
normal is till you get older andthat you actually can step out
of that to realise yourchildhood is crazy, as mine was.
I grew up with a lot ofalcoholism.
That was a big part ofAustralian culture.
It still is today.
Again, that seemed normal atthe time.
I also, of course, grew up witha mother that was always and
(20:00):
had always struggled with mentalhealth or mental illness.
I think back in those times,probably in the 80s, it was more
very, very taboo to talk aboutany type of mental health issue
and my mother struggled severelyfrom all my childhood which
looked like chronic manicdepression.
Today that would probably beclassified more if there was the
(20:20):
classification of bipolar.
My mother really had the verylow downs and didn't really have
the ups like I have.
She kind of was always terribleas a child to see your mum so
sad and so depressed and so kindof isolated and not
understanding why she wouldreact that way or why she was so
(20:42):
sad.
My father, on the other hand,he was a, let's say, a
functioning alcoholic.
But again, back in thatchildhood it was kind of the
norm to see alcohol part ofevery social activity in
australia.
If you don't drink in the 80sand the 90s in australia, uh
there was something wrong withyou.
(21:02):
You know it's.
We're in a lot different worldtoday and uh, so growing up that
was kind of my norm.
Domestic violence was a.
Again, today people would saythat's shocking normal.
That was a normal occurrence innot just my family but in many
families.
Abusing women from males underthe influence of alcohol and so
(21:25):
forth was normal.
That also instilled, of course,a lot of trauma in me as a
young person when you see thepeople you cherish the most and
the people you love the most.
Turning to certain violence andabuse, you kind of question from
a very early age, let's say,the foundations of what the
(21:47):
world is based on, and that'ssomething you never get back
because you realise, my God, theworld out there is a pretty
nasty, scary place and it's kindof that self-mechanism that a
lot of young people have.
They go into a survivalmechanism and for me, all my
(22:08):
young years up until I couldbreak free and escape was
probably just about that innersurvival that young people have.
And I probably remember as ayoung person let's not call it
psychosis, but that inner littlevoice that we all pretend we
don't have it's that protectingwizardism, as you as women, you
(22:28):
probably know that when you'rein a street and you have this
intuition that there's something, someone that could bring a
threat to you, I probably hadthis as a child, that inner
voice, and it was like a small,just echo inside me that would
say Damien, listen, this iscrazy.
This is what we're seeing here.
Police in my bedroom, you know,abuse, violence, attacks.
(22:50):
This is just not normal.
We need to survive and Ipromise you, if we do survive,
we're going to get out of this.
And you've got big things aheadof you.
And this was kind of like justa small echo.
I remember that from probablyeight, seven, eight years of age
to say this madness around, I'mtoo good for this.
(23:13):
Me and me inside, we, we'regonna, we're gonna, we're gonna
get out of this at some point.
But then, as you do, you, youlean on your friends and they're
part of abusive families andthey're choosing drugs as an
option to numb the pain or gointo a different direction and
and you just kind of cyclethrough a childhood of chaos and
(23:36):
then you say, okay, can I stayand survive long enough?
And then you see friends thatyou know that are good friends.
They turn to drugs and theypass away or they get arrested,
they end up in jail, and you seea lot.
It's called I call it the cycle, your circumstances of where
you are in that family networkkind of mark your passport for a
(23:57):
pretty well-destineddestination unless you're going
to have some intervention that'sgoing to break free of that.
And so I kind of survived.
I was lucky enough I playedprofessional rugby league in
Australia, which kind of kept meaway from drugs.
My drug of choice was alcohol.
(24:17):
Like most of Australians, bingedrinking is just a second
culture.
It's like playing golf, youknow, one beer equals 10 beers.
And it's kind of a cycle ofalcohol dependency which I
remember started early on,probably 15, 16 years of age,
(24:38):
and yeah, I kind of never knewwhat love was, never knew what
family was really, never knewkind of what.
Didn't know that.
Yeah, didn't know that therewas kind of going to be a world
for me.
I had a younger brother toothat was also part of this cycle
.
That unfortunately is no longerwith us.
He died of addiction and ofcourse I saw my brother
(25:03):
deteriorate rapidly and he wentdown the road of drugs and yeah,
I did all my best to.
You know, you just try tosurvive and then you try to save
and it's a cycle that neverends, luckily enough.
I kind of always had that innerecho in me that would grow from
(25:25):
that eight-year-old boy and thenit started to get louder.
So each year and each event itwould get louder and louder and
louder and that inner voice inme became probably the most
valuable asset that I still havetoday.
It's had this ability toterribly this might sound a bit
awkward, a bit crazy is that itwould screen, or I had the
(25:45):
ability to screen, the people infront of me and I could
immediately have, let's say, aprofile report Is this person a
threat to me, is this a foe oran ally?
And unfortunately, my innerfilter from such a young boy
doesn't have the politicalcorrectness to give me the
report to say this person's athreat and that person and I.
(26:08):
Even now, today, that reportcomes to me and I say, damien,
we're not going to take theinitial action, we're going to
just see through things.
So I ended up with this amazingability to, to navigate through
life and and and.
Then, luckily enough, I wasgifted, you know, an absolute
miracle.
(26:28):
When I was in my early 20s mylife probably wasn't going
anywhere other than to jail.
I've been arrested a few timesfor petty you know petty kind of
crimes and petty type ofdisputes in bars and stuff like
that.
I definitely was alwaystraumatised by the abuse.
I saw that women, for meespecially, were a sacred thing
(26:51):
to.
I could never understand howmen are violent towards women or
domestic violence.
So I just still today can'tunderstand it and I kind of yeah
, was always looking for thatlove or looking for that missing
to create my own family.
I just didn't have that type of.
I knew I had goodness in me,but of course, if you don't find
(27:14):
goodness to latch on to or tohave someone to express your
love or to love you, you can bea pretty lonely life.
And then one night in Sydney inmy early 20s I saw this little
brunette and of course I thoughtI was John Travolta and said
let's have a dance.
And she could barely speakEnglish.
I gave 20 bucks to the DJ, puton the Patrick Swayze and did
(27:37):
the lift in the middle of thenightclub.
She went up high, got herpretty good I was big back in
those days strong got her up andthen she flipped over the back
and did a somersault and landedin the middle of the disco
Saturday night in Sydney andthat was it.
That was kind of the uh, thatwas the, the moment where the
lightning strike and, uh, mywife, who you just met before,
(27:58):
of 20 years, um, came into myworld and, uh, I probably knew,
probably, yeah, probably, withinfive to seven days, that, uh,
it was like a sliding moment,moment in life.
You know people, the youngpeople today, I'm too young to
get, uh, married, I'm too old toget married and you think you
can pick and choose when thelightning's going to strike.
(28:19):
And uh, I knew that, that, uh,that woman that I met that night
, I knew, oh, hold on.
And uh, yeah, I went all chipsin, even at a young age.
And uh and um, you know, we goton the plane with a backpack
and nothing.
She met me.
I was in social housing.
I had a mattress on the floor.
(28:40):
My brother had just come out ofa double lung transplant for,
uh, his lungs failure due todrug use.
We're in social housing.
I had nothing I had.
I didn't have a cracker to myname.
I had no hopes.
I had nothing other than that.
You know echo inside me that itwas something big out there for
me and I had to stay in thegame.
(29:00):
And then, yeah, when I met mywife, she said, okay, I'm going
to take you to Alice inWonderland, I'll take you to the
chocolate factory, take you toAlice in Wonderland, I'll take
you to the chocolate factory,okay, what's that?
So we flew to Switzerland anduh, I didn't hesitate.
I said, uh, you know, I went tothe bank one Friday afternoon.
I think I had a couple ofthousand dollars in savings
money.
I took out, uh, every cent.
(29:21):
I went to the diamond shop,spent, uh, I spent three and a
half thousand on the diamond 500for dinner.
And I went all in and I saidyou're the one, and she said,
yes, and that was it got on thethree and a half thousand on the
diamond 500 for dinner.
And I went all in and I saidyou're the one, and she said yes
, and that was it.
Got on the plane and uh, and Isaid, yeah, as much as Australia
is a dream for everyone else,it had a lot of trauma for me.
So I kind of closed the book onthat and uh decided to, uh, to
(29:44):
try and run for my problems.
And uh, that's one thing we'lltalk about too is that there's
an amazing way that thoseproblems sneak on the aeroplane
when you're not watching.
You've checked in your bag andyou got your love, you got your
girlfriend, you got your newlife and we're going to run from
this.
And no, no, no.
I quickly found out later on inlife that those problems and
(30:04):
those demons and those tragediesand traumas where they'd snuck
on the aeroplane with me.
So that's where I am 20 yearsnow I've been in Switzerland.
It's been an absoluterollercoaster of a journey.
Slipping onto the aircraft withme was undiagnosed mental
illness.
I had bipolar disorder that hadcome and unfortunately taken my
(30:27):
mum and taken my brother.
Uh had just decided to bedormant in me, that's all it was
.
Uh, I was a young, outgoingpositive person as Australian,
but I was always, let's say, uh,highly erratic or, you know,
highly risky.
I've always been a risk takerand uh, I've been a gambler and
uh, high stakes and uh, you know, I did that in my sport.
(30:47):
I've always been a risk takerand I've been a gambler and high
stakes and you know I did thatin my sport.
I've did that in everything inmy kind of DNA and for most
people that's the fun part.
Oh, wow, damien's thehappy-go-lucky guy, he's the
life of the party.
You know what I mean.
But whatever goes up has tocome down, and bipolar is a mood
disorder if we want to start touse labels.
(31:09):
But I have incredible highswhich can't even be replaced by
narcotics.
Uh, that's what we're talkingabout.
We're talking like, once mylittle inner echo starts telling
me that we're good enough to doanything, he, basically that
inner uh grandeur inside youtells you, tells me, david, we
could do anything.
And you actually have to kindof navigate and say, well, no,
(31:31):
we, we can do anything, but wecan't take risks to endanger
myself or my children or riskybehavior and so forth.
So, yeah, that's kind of in anutshell where I am.
And today, of course, I createdmy own association, which has
got a broad name, the mentalhealth association, but that's
(31:54):
just the legal identity.
And then I thought, okay, I needto bring the craziness in me
and somehow take all of thedarkness, the hurt and tears and
pain that many people suffernot just mine around the world.
I think mental health hasenough tears and pain that many
people suffer not just minearound the world.
I think mental health hasenough tears and it has enough
heartache.
It doesn't need any moreviolins and it doesn't need any
more dramatic kind of tears.
(32:17):
It needs brightness, it needscolour, it needs a new
communication to talk to youngpeople to say, hey, absolutely
enough is enough.
There's no more shame in havingto reach out for help,
especially for men, and not toseparate the thing, but just
talking as a man, there's atoxic masculinity that I had to
grow out of, that reaching outfor help is not a sign of
(32:40):
weakness.
There's nothing weak about me.
There's nothing weak where Icame from.
But this was an ideology ofmasculinity in Australia.
Let's take Crocodile Dundeeback in the day have to be the
tough guy, have to be theunbreakable guy and I'm a former
rugby guy, got to be tough andyeah, that's sure.
You can be made masculinelytough and strong as a male man
(33:02):
and no one's taking that away.
But when you're a man and youhave a family and two young
daughters and teenagers, youalso have a responsibility to
your own health and to to seekhelp and not become collateral
damage.
And and that's what washappening to me, I was in a
self-destruction pattern andwithout this amazing woman to
actually have that hardconversation with me and say,
(33:24):
damien, I think you have amental health concern or a
mental health disease, whatever.
These days we've got so manywords we're not sure how to
label it and we stopped talkingbecause I don't know the right
word.
Who knows what the right wordis.
I was mentally ill.
That's a fact.
I needed to go to a psychiatrichospital because I was out of
(33:45):
control and thank God I gotthere and thank God I'm still
talking to you today about it,and that's the whole idea of the
Coffee Foundation is just toget people talking again, and
that's what it's all about.
Tanya Scotece (34:00):
Tune in next week for part two from Friends from
Wild Places.
Voiceover (34:06):
You've been listening to Friends from Wild Places
with Shireen Botha.
Be sure to subscribe to thepodcast from the links to catch
every episode and unleash yourpassion.
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