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July 3, 2025 36 mins

Have you ever felt like you were the “extra invite?” The “filler friend?” The friend who gets invited to the big events but never the intimate gatherings?

There are lots of reasons people find themselves in this position. Maybe a big life change has altered friend dynamics; maybe you’re just in a totally new friendship group. But maybe you’re also exhibiting behaviors that are keeping you on the fringe. 

If you want deeper friendships and to be part of more intimate gatherings, you can change this, and in this episode I offer tips  on how to do this, from initiating invitations to focusing on the individual connections in your group.

But I also talk about the benefits of those “second tier” friendships. Don’t forget, they can still be beautiful connections in your life, even if they don’t become part of your inner circle.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • My friend who complained to me about always being the “extra invite” – and how she changed this to create a more fulfilling network
  • The value in the Wheel of Connection in understanding the different kinds of friends, from familiar to defined connections
  • Why fringe friendships can be beautiful and meaningful, even if they are not all-encompassing
  • The benefits of strengthening relationships with each friend in a group, which consequently strengthens your connection with the group as a whole


Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 100 about the Wheel of Connection.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


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