Reframing the Idea of “Quality” in Friendship

Quality over quantity – you’ve probably heard this phrase when it comes to friendship, right?

So many of us strive for a few “quality” all-encompassing friendships, thinking that’s better than having lots of less intimate friends. But is that way of thinking actually limiting us?

There will be times in your life – maybe as a new parent, or after a loss – when you’ll gravitate toward the friends who can relate to your situation, even if they’re not those “quality” all-encompassing friends. Sometimes quality is specificity, not comprehensiveness. 

Similarly, I want to reframe the idea of “quality time.” Is quality time having those uninterrupted windows with friends? Or is it actually doing the everyday things together?

My hope is to help reduce some of your friendship anxiety: to give you permission to stop “performing” friendship and just BE IN friendship.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why some friendships feel effortless (and why I’ll argue they actually haven’t really felt effortless forever – you’ve already built muscles navigating awkward situations!)
• “Quality” pockets of uninterrupted time vs. folding your friend time into your everyday life activities (plus, all the things you learn about your friends while doing the latter)
• When quality can be specificity and not necessarily comprehensiveness: a friend who can offer specific support in a specific moment

Resources & Links

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Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!