[REPLAY] What Is A Friend? And the 4 Types of Friends We All Have

[REPLAY] FOUNDATIONAL FRIENDSHIP IRL EPISODE

This month, I’m replaying four episodes that I consider FOUNDATIONAL to understanding all other Friendship IRL episodes. These are the episodes that break down the frameworks and mindset shifts you need to build the connections you want. 

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

Today’s foundational episode tackles this ONE question: What is a friend, really?

A lot of people are walking through life focusing on what isn’t there when it comes to friendship. There’s somehow an arbitrary marker of “we are friends!” that most people can’t even articulate. The truth is, it doesn’t have to be so black and white.

If you’ve ever thought, “I wish I was closer to that person” or “Our friendship used to feel different!”, prepare to see things differently once you learn about the 4 types of friends we all have in our lives, and how we can come to appreciate all of these friends in their own unique ways.

This framework takes the pressure off trying to make every friendship “best friend” level and helps you understand what you actually need from your social connections.

WARNING: You’ll see all of your friendships differently after this one.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why we’re holding ourselves back from experiencing true friendships
• The difference between “Familiar Friends”, “Defined Friends”, “Present Friends”, and “Historic Friends”
• The beauty of taking small actions over time with our friends (it all adds up!)
• What emotional intimacy roots are and why they are key to sustaining close and supportive friendships
• Moving through the peaks and changes of friendships in our life, especially when one moves away or gets a new job
• Holding on to our friendships more loosely, vs. gripping on so tight

Reflection Question:

In which “bucket” do you have the most friends? Is there a small action you can take today to make a friend feel appreciated?

Notable Quotes from Alex

“I have this belief that if we untangle the ways we are connected, we will realize we are more connected than we initially thought. And that might help us to appreciate the spectrum of friendships versus waiting for some arbitrary threshold to see someone as valuable in our life.”

“Small actions add up. Sometimes I think we forget that our closest friends were at one point just people. They walked down the hall. They were another person wearing a similar sweater and we said, “Hi”, we sat next to them in class and started chatting. We learned we were both going to be on the soccer team. And back then, we saw that simple building as valuable, like there was potential. So tap back into that. Let the small things be worthwhile.”

Resources & Links

Learn more about emotional intimacy roots on my blog.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram! 

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!