The Friend Who Got Away: Regrets, Reality Checks & Why Some Friendships Haunt Us

Do you ever drive past a former friend’s house and find yourself flooded with memories?

Suddenly, you start thinking: what would it be like if you still talked? Maybe it’s just a fleeting thought, but maybe this thought really stings. As much as we like to think of certain friendships being “done,” it’s never really the case.

Today’s episode is about the friendship that got away. What causes us to become less close? Why do some friendships stay with us? How do you know if you should keep trying? When should you let it go?

There are so many lessons you learn from a friendship, so even if it ended, it’s not a failure. It helped you grow into the person you are, and it is going to be worthwhile in the community you are creating and investing in.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The friendship fade, and why this happens (see my Roots framework): life changes, and responsibilities lead to a drift
• When paths diverge, it requires work to build new friendship roots; for example, when my friends started having kids, we needed to find new ways to spend time together
• How hard it can be to separate the past from the present and the nostalgia associated with past friendhips
• What you should ask yourself if you’re looking to reconnect with an old friend, and the importance of letting yourself grieve if you decide to let it go

Resources & Links

See my Roots framework, and listen to last week’s Episode 114, about the friendship guilt spiral, Episode 115, about pet peeves, and Episode 25 about friendship break-ups.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!