4. How to Tame Your "What If?" Monster

How to Tame Your What-If Monster

It's race season in Leadville, CO, and I'm about to sing the national anthem in front of 3,000 people—the largest crowd I've ever sung for. Perfect timing to talk about taming your what-if monster.

(Side note: I didn't coin this term—it's from a kids' book called Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster that helped my kids work through anxiety about new things.

Here's what happens: Your brain goes "What if it doesn't work? What if I fail? What if nobody shows up? What if everyone laughs at me?" And instead of answering, you spiral into worst-case scenario panic mode and talk yourself out of doing the thing.

The problem isn't asking "what if"—that's actually smart preparation. The problem is not answering the damn question.

Here's how to fix it:

Step 1: Ask the flip side. If your brain offers "What if this is a complete disaster?" also ask "What if this goes better than I expected?"

Step 2: Actually answer both questions with concrete plans. When my brain says "What if we don't make enough money this month?" I have a list: get a part-time job, walk dogs, rent out rooms, sell stuff, pay bills late (spoiler: people don't die from late fees).

Once you have actual answers—even shitty ones you'd never want to use—the fear loses its power. You're not afraid of the thing happening; you're afraid you can't handle it.

But here's the truth: The only thing that stops you is you stopping.

When you develop the habit of answering your what-ifs instead of spinning in them, your monster shrinks from this massive looming force to a manageable six-pound cat sitting behind you.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Jonathan James and the Whatif Monster, by Michelle Nelson-Schmidt (https://amzn.to/4516Bjd)
• From Bankrupt to Badass with Kristen King  (https://brynbamber.com/2022/05/03/ep-84-bankruptcy-with-kristen-skove-king/)

Prefer video? Watch the video version of this episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/fXe0x-ZvJaY

*****
I’m Kristen King, and I’ve been a coach for pretty much my entire professional career — since the early 2000s after my first solo business hit six figures less than 2 years out of college. Now, I teach humans from all walks of life how to shift from "fuck me" to "fuck yeah" so they can thrive in work, business, relationships, health, and more.

Over the last 15+ years, I've worked in for-profit and non-profit organizations across multiple industries, earned an MBA and a master's in publishing, given countless presentations and trainings for groups ranging from 4 to 6,000, and supported clients — both individuals and organizations — on four continents.

This isn't my first rodeo. In fact, there's been a lot of rodeos. So saddle up, friend, because we're about to go on an awesome ride together. I'm so glad you're here.

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