May 26, 2024 • 55 mins
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Baruch Spinoza on his idea of God. Taking personal responsibility for the entirety of your life. Sometimes the chaos of life shows up on your doorstep. Every experience that comes into my life is my responsibility. The just and the unjust. I am responsible for how I address the reality. Suppress and repress? We think that we are dodging things. However, we are robbing ourselves of life force. The fruit of my life is my own doing. Magnets. You are free to create your own heaven or hell.
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Party people, what is going on?
This is From the Grave podcast.
I am Scott Russell.
This is episode 126, and I'mexcited.
This was a fun podcast episode.
I get into a little bit of adress that was given by Einstein
and Baruch Spinoza about hisidea of God that is a little...
(00:26):
controversial in nature, but Ipick out some parts that I
really like about it.
We talk a lot about taking...
Absolute personal responsibilityfor your life.
Not trying to contend and fightwith the reality of your life.
Making sure that I can preservemy own energy to learn how to
(00:47):
leverage my day in a proper way.
Step away from conflict.
And I think that's about it.
So it was a fun episode.
It's good to be back behind themic.
You can inquire.
or send suggestions for topicsin the form of voice memos.
(01:10):
Send that to FromTheGravePodcastat gmail.com.
You send it in to us.
We'll play it in the episode andrespond to it.
I am also now doing life slashspiritual coaching.
So if you're interested in aone-on-one relationship and
(01:30):
maybe a spiritual restart, sendme an email at
fromthegravepodcasts atgmail.com.
And we can hop on a discoverycall and see if it fits and if I
can help in any way.
Let's see.
Aside from that, make sure yousubscribe to YouTube.
Make sure you're following us onInstagram from the grave podcast
(01:52):
on all platforms.
And then also, I'm doing blogsnow too, so make sure you check
out Scott Russell, which iscollateralbeauty at
substack.com.
The link's all over the Facebookpage and the Instagram page, so
check it out.
Episode 126, I hope you enjoy.
(02:13):
What's the eternal principle?
UNKNOWN (02:18):
That one.
SPEAKER_00 (02:20):
Which is...
Well, we call it God, but thatpersonifies it.
Episode 126.
Been a little bit.
Changed some stuff around.
(02:41):
We're in a new spot, new studio.
And by studio, I mean my sparebedroom.
We got Christian behind theproduction table, basically set
up in the middle of my closet.
So, yeah, we're going to havesome fun, man.
I'm excited to be back.
And, you know, I feel likethere's been a couple of times
(03:04):
where I'm like, no, we're back,dude.
Fucking here we go.
But, you know, life is fuckinglife.
And I've had a lot of shit goingon, you know, so I had to plant
my roots and And now we'reready.
We got some stabilization.
We got some foundation.
And we're going to get back tocreating.
(03:30):
Oh, I got to remember something,actually, for when I do the
intro.
Give me one second.
All right, that.
So I've had a few things that Iwas thinking about talking
about, but something just cameup to me.
Like the last like 10 minutes.
So I think I'm going to rockwith that.
(03:51):
But yeah, man, aside from that,just a little what the hell's
been going on with me.
I haven't been working out asmuch as I would like to.
My life is so busy, but it's agood busy, which is such a
fucking cliche thing to say.
(04:13):
But still working full-time,working out when I can.
Right now, it's been only likethree days a week, which is
super annoying, but I'm doingwhat I can.
So in a full-blown relationship,living with my girl, too many
(04:36):
animals, shadows contending withsome new animals.
It's been a few fights.
A couple stitches that needed tobe sewn, so that's been driving
me up a fucking wall.
But that's basically the numberone issue I have in my life.
Life is my fucking animals.
(04:58):
At any rate...
Life is pretty fucking good.
It's getting a little hot inthis room immediately once we
hit record and I startedtalking.
But, I mean, the AC is comingout fine.
I got a fan cruising on low.
So, I don't know.
We're going to have to get thisshit dialed in.
Also of note, Happy Gilmore 2has been greenlighted to come
(05:24):
out on Netflix.
We don't have a date yet, right?
No.
No.
So we're keeping our eyes peeledfor that.
That's about 90% of my quotelanguage is Happy Gilmore.
So really excited on that.
But I mean, I hope he doesn'tfucking blow it, dude.
There's like, you know, themajority rule is like you need
(05:45):
to leave movies alone.
The greatest movies, you know,like the GOATs of the movies,
Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison.
Yeah.
Tommy Boy.
I mean, they basically did asequel to Tommy Boy that was
Black Sheep, and that is fuckinghilarious.
They nailed it out of the parkwith that, but I don't know.
(06:05):
I mean, I'm a big Sandler guy.
I have faith in Sandman, but hedropped the ball with Grown Ups
2.
He's made a couple whack-assmovies, but I don't know, man.
I'm just fucking...
Anchorman 2 was lit.
Anchorman 2 was good.
I know there's some mixedopinion out there, but Anchorman
(06:27):
2 was fire.
People don't give it a shot.
Those movies, sometimes you gotto watch a couple of times
through.
I thought Anchorman 2 wasfucking hilarious, but mixed
opinions out there.
Anyways...
I've rekindled my blog, which ison substack.com.
(06:54):
The name of the newsletter, ifyou will, is called Collateral
Beauty by Scott Russell.
So if you search for me onSubstack, Collateral Beauty,
Scott Russell, I think that'show you would do it.
You just...
type in your email sign it upand you'll get a daily blog or
(07:14):
if you just don't know how to dothat and you want to be signed
up you can email us at from thegrave podcast at gmail.com and
just say hey please add my emailto your newsletter so been
excited about that we've been umright in getting dialed in on
(07:36):
screen printing and um makingt-shirts and shorts and stuff
from the bare bare minimum allthe way up so it's tough it's
not rocket science it's notrocket science but learning how
to use the proper methodology tomake shirts come out the way
(08:01):
that I want them to be in thehands of a customer and is it's
a little difficult.
You know, it's like you have toreally fine tune it.
So I told everyone that therewas going to be a drop like
three fucking months ago.
And then I was like, dude, Ican't do this right before I
move.
This is going to be insane.
(08:22):
I'm not even going to have theproper setup to sit down, mail
out gear.
So I was like, never mind, JK,we're going to push it back.
So I'm not even going to tellyou that we're about ready.
I think that we're about ready.
I keep adding more shit, butI'll get there when we get
(08:44):
there.
How about that?
I'll get there when we getthere, and I appreciate you
still reaching out and wantingsome stuff.
But it's been fun.
Just created a new design.
I'll keep that one in the pocketfor now.
Going to be doing a lot ofevents this year.
You can find me at...
Coco Yogi Market, which is thefirst Sunday of every month.
(09:10):
I believe in Delray Square, Ithink.
I'm not certain.
Used to be at Veterans Park.
It's not at Veterans Parkanymore.
I'm going to try and get thereJune 1st, but I'm not 100%
certain yet, so...
But when I'm actually set up andcommitted there, you guys will
(09:32):
know about it through socialmedia and the podcast and all
that.
The way you can be guaranteed tobe in the loop as far as what's
coming out, drops, episodes,blogs, and all that, you need to
be following on Instagram.
Check us out from The GravePodcast.
All right.
So at any rate...
(09:54):
Like I said, I had thought abouta couple things to bring, but I
remembered I had made a note.
And one of my notes is, it'scalled the God of Spinoza.
So Albert Einstein, when he usedto tour and give talks in the
U.S., one of his most commonquestions was, do you believe in
(10:19):
God?
Right.
Very proper thing to say tosome, you know, intellectual IQ
out of this world, smartest manalive type of stuff.
We want to know the answer tothe deep questions.
I don't know how true this storyis.
But when he was when he wasasked this question earlier.
(10:42):
When he was asked the question,do you believe in God, he always
answered, I got it up in frontof me, so I'll read it through a
little bit and we'll talk aboutit.
He was asked, do you believe inGod?
And he always answered, Ibelieve in the God of Spinoza.
Baruch Spinoza was a Dutchphilosopher considered one of
(11:02):
the greatest rationalists of the17th century philosophy, along
with Descartes.
Spinoza, God would say, So inthe voice of God, stop praying.
What I want you to do is go outinto the world and enjoy your
life.
(11:23):
I want you to sing, have fun,enjoy everything I've made for
you.
Stop going into those dark, coldtemples that you've built for
yourself and saying they are myhouse.
My house is in the mountains, inthe woods, in the rivers, lakes,
and beaches.
(11:44):
That's where I live, and there Iexpress my love for you.
Stop blaming me for yourmiserable life.
I never told you there wasanything wrong with you or that
you were a sinner or that yoursexuality was a bad thing.
Sex is a gift I have given youand with which you can express
(12:05):
your love, your ecstasy, yourjoy.
So don't blame me for everythingthey made you believe.
Stop reading alleged sacredscriptures that have nothing to
do with me.
If you can't read me in asunrise, in a landscape, in the
look of your friends, in yourson's eyes, you will find me in
(12:26):
no book.
Stop asking me, will you tell mehow to do my job?
Stop being so scared of me.
I do not judge you or criticizeyou, nor get angry or bothered.
I am pure love.
Stop asking for forgiveness.
There's nothing to forgive.
(12:46):
If I made you, I filled you withpassions, limitations,
pleasures, feelings, needs,inconsistencies, free will.
How can I blame you if yourespond to something that I put
in you?
How can I punish you for beingthe way you are if I'm the one
who made you?
Do you think I would create aplace to burn all my children
(13:08):
who behave badly for the rest ofeternity?
What kind of God would do that?
Respect your peers.
Don't do what you don't want foryourself.
All I ask is that you payattention in your life.
That alertness is your guide.
My beloved, this is not a test.
(13:30):
Not a step on the way, not arehearsal, nor a prelude to
paradise.
This life is the only thing hereand now, and it is all you need.
I have set you absolutely free.
No prizes or punishments, nosins or virtues.
No one carries a marker, no onekeeps a record.
(13:53):
You are absolutely free tocreate your life, heaven or
hell.
I can't tell you if there'sanything after this, but I can
give you a tip.
Live as if there is not.
As if this is your only chanceto enjoy, to love, to exist.
(14:14):
So if there is nothing after,then you will have enjoyed the
opportunity I've given you.
And if there is, rest assuredthat I won't ask if you behaved
right or wrong.
I'll ask, did you like it?
Did you have fun?
What did you enjoy the most?
What did you learn?
Stop believing in me.
Believing is assuming, guessing,imagining.
(14:37):
I don't want you to believe inme.
I want you to believe in you.
I want you to feel me in youwhen you kiss your beloved, when
you tuck in your little girl,when you caress your dog, when
you bathe in the sea.
Stop praising me.
What kind of egomaniac God doyou think I am?
(14:59):
I'm bothered by your praise.
I'm bored of your praise.
I'm tired of being thanked.
Feeling grateful?
Prove it by taking care ofyourself, your health, your
relationships, the world.
Express your joy.
That's the way to praise me.
(15:20):
Stop complicating things andrepeating as a parakeet would.
What you've been taught aboutme.
What do you need more miraclesfor?
So many explanations.
The only thing for sure is thatyou are here, that you are
alive, that this world is fullof wonders.
(15:42):
Baruch Spinoza.
Powerful ass reading.
Powerful reading.
I use this a lot because I workin the treatment field and I
like to ruffle a lot of feathersbecause this opposes and
challenges, threatens a lot ofChristianity, but also embraces
(16:06):
the golden rule.
And so it's just really, reallya messy conception of God, an
awesome, purified conception ofGod.
It's not reaching or graspingfor anything else.
This dude is as far as I cansay, contemplated within
himself, and his own conceptionof God was brought to him.
(16:34):
And this is what it screamed.
The first one, stop praying.
Stop praying.
Now, for me, I'm a big prayerguy.
But the reason why he says this,in my eyes, is he's saying, go
(16:55):
out and prove it.
Go out and live.
If you're praying, if you have arelationship with me, go step
out into this world, dance,sing, love, be happy, be
beautiful, walk it out.
You're grateful, be healthy.
Take care of your relationships.
Take care of yourself.
Exercise, eat right, givesomething to the world.
(17:17):
Express all these things.
that you read in a book and thenparrot.
He says, I want you to go outinto the world and enjoy your
life.
I want you to sing, have fun,everything, and enjoy what I
have made for you.
(17:38):
One of the best lines in here,he goes, stop blaming me for
your miserable life.
One of the greatest freedomsever that I've experienced in my
life is when I took 100%responsibility for every
experience I have in my life.
Where I looked in the mirror andI said, this is on me.
(17:59):
My life is the way it is rightnow because I designed it that
way.
I gave up.
I ran away.
I spit in the face of truth.
I'm the one who got high.
This is the natural result ofliving in a certain manner.
We are all little creationmachines.
(18:22):
We're always creating, not someof the times, all of the times.
Based on the thoughts I have,the feelings that are sparked by
those thoughts, the words thatcome out of my mouth, the way my
feet move, the relationships Ienter with, that is always
creating a world around me.
(18:45):
Now, based on my emotionalstate...
Jesus, these fucking cats areabsolutely ridiculous.
I'm just going to let them killeach other.
Or that's going to significantlyannoy me, one or the other.
This is what happens when youhave fucking new cats dealing
with each other.
We're going to have to pause itand cut it out.
(19:09):
Anyways...
Um, okay.
(19:38):
I completely fucking forgotwhere I was.
I'm going to get back there.
I'm going to get back there.
I'm going to get back there.
Okay.
I'm a little creation machine.
When I move through life, nottaking responsibility for how I
move, it's me against the world.
(20:00):
And the world was here first.
So it's really fucking good atwinning.
I am a part of the world.
I am a part of life.
If I don't want to takeresponsibility for my hand in
this relationship, it's going tobe a shitty fucking
relationship, all right?
And I did that for a long, longtime.
(20:22):
And I got to a point where I wasnot happy with the payoff.
Well, I wasn't happy with thepayoff from the jump.
It took me a long time to acceptthe fact that That I was the one
bringing the payoff into my lifeand that I also had the ability
to change it.
(20:44):
Most of the time, people canstumble through life
experiencing life.
And sometimes the chaos of lifeshows up on your doorstep.
I'm not saying that the thingsin your life are your fault.
(21:09):
What I'm saying is what I'velearned is that every experience
that comes into my life is myresponsibility, meaning all the
hard stuff.
What it means is if it stumblesinto my home, and I experience
(21:34):
this, and let's say it's unjust,and I am harmed, or I am going
through a very, very sad,grieving state in my life, or a
family member gets cancer orsomething like that, please
don't hear me wrong.
I am not saying that by anymeans that is your fault.
(21:58):
But what I am saying is that isnow a part of your reality.
And we have two choices when weexperience radical discomfort.
Open ourselves up to it and seewhat is there for us or turn
away from it and suppress andrepress.
(22:20):
Now, the latter usually happens.
And the bitch about that is wethink that we're really dodging
things when we suppress it orrepress emotions or experiences
that we don't want to deal with.
What I've learned is, you know,you may sweep it under the rug,
(22:41):
but you're living on the rug.
So it's not going to becomfortable.
It may not be at the forefrontof your mind, but you can be
certain that that it is robbingyou of life force.
It is robbing you of energy andis taking from your current
relationships, your job, yourhealth, your finance.
(23:05):
I know it may sound radical, butthese are the things that I have
experienced.
Again, I'm a fucking dummy, allright, with this stuff, but I
just really stumble forwardthrough life and see, you know,
what I can do to infuse my lifein a positive manner with
(23:28):
spiritual truth.
One of those truths is the fruitof my life is my own doing.
So it's a part of my life.
I don't get to complain.
We are magnets.
(23:51):
And we attract.
This is going to be tough.
This is going to be fuckingtough to hear if you've
experienced some shit in yourlife, all right?
And this, again, this is just mybelief.
It doesn't make it right.
It doesn't make it wrong.
If you have experienced sometough things in your life, as I
(24:13):
have, some unjust things, It ispart of your life lesson for a
reason, which may forever onlybe and only rest in the mind of
God.
It may, I don't know.
But I believe that the thingsthat happened to us in this
(24:36):
lifetime, happened in ourexperience, stumbled onto our
doorstep, was scripted from thebeginning.
I think that there's multiple...
different iterations of me.
I think that there's justconstant lessons to learn.
(25:01):
And what I have learned is thatpain is the launching pad into a
new life, a good life.
And pain is as sweet as candy.
It may not feel that way.
(25:22):
Pain is a fucking Sour PatchKid, all right?
First it's sour, then it'sreally, really sweet.
But you got to get past the sourpart.
If you put it in your mouth andit's too sour and you spit it
out, you never get to enjoy thebenefits of Sour Patch Kids, all
right?
And Sour Patch Kids fuckingslap.
So, you know what I mean?
Especially the watermelon ones.
(25:42):
But I always ran from pain.
I always ran from discomfort.
I ran from experiences thatdidn't make me feel great, that
didn't make me feel euphoric,right?
Because I wanted to feel goodall the time.
(26:04):
That's not the way that lifeworks.
I think that we're going toexperience tragedy.
I think we're going toexperience very, very potent
moments of life that are veryhard to bear.
(26:25):
And you may not have an answerfor why that is happening.
You may have an effect felt deepin your cells.
It may rattle you a way thatnothing ever has before, but I
believe that it is there for areason.
(26:48):
And that is one of the mostannoying things to hear, to be
honest.
Because the shit that makes usgo, why me?
Why me?
That has the ability to have aprofound effect on the spiritual
(27:13):
liberation of a human spirit.
Whether you think that you wantthat or not may not be part of
your business.
I don't know.
These are just kind of thingsthat I stumble forward and move
with and think about.
And I do know that the mostpainful moments in my life, the
(27:41):
ones that have seemed to splitmy cells open and I could feel
it, have been the most holythings that have ever happened
to me.
And I wouldn't change it.
I wouldn't change it, man,because it is continually
(28:02):
forging me into the person Iwould like to be tomorrow
without realizing that I wouldlike to be that person tomorrow,
you know?
So Spinoza dumps thisresponsibility on us He says,
you're free to create your ownheaven and your own hell.
(28:23):
Matter of fact, Joseph Campbell,my guy, right?
Joseph Campbell says, all theheavens, all the hells, and all
the gods are within you.
Damn, that's some heavy shit,right?
Okay.
That means I can facilitate andcreate from those places.
That means I have the power ofthe gods, right?
(28:46):
to experience and create my ownheaven or my own hell and share
that hell or that heaven withthe world.
And the world already has a lotof hell.
The one thing that can lead...
(29:08):
to a constant bad experience oflife is not taking personal
responsibility for everything inyour life.
Because if it is your reality,if it is your reality, then how
(29:30):
can I resist it?
Now, I'm not saying that we haveto stay in unfortunate
situations.
But if it is my reality, I gotto learn how to Tai Chi my way
ass through that bitch andfigure out how to change that
reality.
I'm responsible for whatever isin my path.
(29:51):
Be it negative, be it positive,be it neutral.
Reality one.
The reality that you have hadtoday or whenever you're
listening to this on your way towork, reality fucking won.
It already won.
The day you're going to have isthe day you're going to have.
(30:12):
The people you're going to runinto, the situations you're
going to have to deal with, thephone calls that are going to
come, that's the reality.
That's the drama of life infront of you today.
You are 100% responsible for forexperiencing and entering into a
relationship with that reality.
(30:35):
Now, you can either wish thereality away, which is silly
because it's already fuckingwon.
That would be like Mike Tysondropping your ass.
And then instead of getting upand watching him get his hand
raised, you just wish it did.
You just say, I wish this didn'thappen.
I wish he would go away.
Motherfucker, Mike Tyson ain'tgoing away.
(30:56):
He won.
So The first thing I can do isaccept that reality had won.
And the more I let reality justbe reality, the more of
permission I get from life tojust be me.
Because the more I contend withthe reality of my day or
(31:17):
situations or relationships,when I contend with it, I create
collision and confusion.
We call this self-will.
If I step away from it, I havethe ability to retrieve the
energy that is in conflict withreality.
(31:38):
There's no sense in getting lostin conflict.
You're wasting time and turningover your energy for a play, for
the drama of life.
I fucking do this, man.
I fucking do this.
(31:58):
And it works my ass, man.
It just eats my fucking lunch.
I can't stand it.
I absolutely cannot stand it,dude.
It's like I can get jammed up insomething and my ego gets
involved.
I get really, really attached tomy preferences.
I have contempt within me.
(32:20):
And it's not fun having thatstuff within you.
When you have that, disjointedenergy within you, you're going
to fuck up.
You're going to fuck up yourlife a little bit.
You're going to hyperextend yourelbow.
You're going to hyperextend yourknee.
You're going to tear somemeniscus.
All right.
No one likes walking around incrutches, but essentially that's
(32:42):
what I'm doing with my energy isI twist my ankle up so much that
I'm walking around with theenergy of someone trying to run
on crutches.
That's a good fucking metaphor,all right?
That's what I am, Mr.
Fucking Crutchmaster.
You know how many times I'vewalked on crutches in my life?
I've broken both feet, my leftankle, because of skateboarding.
(33:03):
And I had crutches for so longthat I had fucking stickers all
over them things, you know, likea really seasoned in pair.
Hell, there was times throughoutmy school year where I spent
more times on crutches than Idid on my feet, you know?
And...
When I'm walking around wishingthat, sometimes it even moves
(33:28):
into a demand.
If I'm moving through my day, ifI'm moving through the reality
of my day, demanding that itchanges, I am Dumping energy out
of myself and giving it to theworld.
And I'm saying, you know what?
Never mind.
I don't want to run and be freetoday.
Give me some crutches.
I'd rather just hop around andget pimped out like a$2 hoe
(33:51):
because that's what I want.
I want to give up here.
Take my energy situation.
Take my energy misses in myrelationship.
Take my energy job.
Take my energy coworker.
It's ridiculous, right?
But the mind and the ego arevery, very good at doing this,
especially mine.
(34:12):
And you get to learn a lot aboutyourself in these moments.
And in a 12-step program,there's these steps, six and
seven, which are all about ourcharacter defects and
shortcomings.
And there's a prayer to addressthese character defects and
shortcomings once we get privyto them, which is, my creator, I
am now willing that you shouldhave all of me, good and bad.
(34:35):
I pray that you now remove fromme every single defect of
character that stands in my wayof my usefulness to you.
and my fellows, which is theworld at large, right?
God, others, self.
God, others, self.
Now, that's a beautiful prayer,and it works, but my experience
(34:57):
has not been say that prayer andwake up pure as the driven snow.
I can't blame prayer, God, ormeditation.
for still having tough days.
And this is one of the toughestmisconceptions that leads to a
world of shame and contentionwith this spiritual stuff that
(35:21):
If I'm this perfect spiritualsoldier and I wake up in the
morning and journal and meditateand pray and skip out the front
door and live a life of selflessservice and not ask for anything
of myself and then work out andeat fucking steak and vegetables
all day, come home, do someself-reflection, pray, meditate,
(35:44):
that I'm an A student and lifeis going to be pretty.
That could not be further fromthe truth.
That is what we callperformance-based love.
And that means I'm completelyattached to outcome, and I'm
(36:04):
performing for the A.
Now, that's good in fuckingschool, where you perform for
the A.
You want to get an A on thetest?
You better read chapters 4, 5,and 6.
study your ass off, learn how tocomprehend it, teach it, take
the test, perform, get an A.
All right?
(36:24):
That's where performance is due,is in the function of the world.
But you don't have to performfor spiritual power.
We are not saints.
If we make progress the best weknow how in trying to grow in
the image and likeness of God, Ibelieve I'm doing my part.
(36:47):
Now in this growth, in thistrudge forward, I am going to
come face to face with mydefects and they're going to
smack me the fuck around.
They're going to smack me aroundbecause you know what?
I got to experience pain as thelaunching pad to new freedom the
(37:08):
same way it had to happenthrough tragic experience of
addiction.
or any other tragic experienceyou may have.
Think about a young man.
You know, if you ever meet a kidwho's been through some real
shit, a young kid, you know, 12years old, 15 years old, you
(37:29):
know, maybe dad died of a heartattack, mom or friend or aunt or
uncle has cancer, somethingreally, really shitty happened
that was just that moved to ahigher order.
They experienced powerlessness.
And most of the time we say, youare wise beyond your years.
(37:51):
Or we say, wow, he's so mature.
Man, that kid has a good head onhis shoulders.
What a good perspective he has.
I wish I knew what he knew,right?
Tragedy shapes the human.
It shapes us in humility.
Where we know we are not thecenter of the universe and we're
(38:11):
just out here playing a role andthere are forces greater than us
at work.
So while we're here, we might aswell enjoy it.
Have as much fun as we canwithin reason, you know, fun
that's not going to, you know,that's not hedonism, right?
(38:35):
When I can accept what iscurrently in front of me, I
receive the energy that is mine,the full embodiment of energy I
have to move throughout my dayin a positive, constructive way.
If I contend with the reality ofmy life that day and resist it
(39:01):
and wish it was different, ThenI'm giving up energy because I'm
trying to arrange life to suitmyself.
Life already won.
It was here before.
Life doesn't owe you anything.
It was here way before you were.
(39:24):
When I try to arrange life tosuit myself, I'm giving up and
robbing myself of energy uselessenergy, right?
I'm giving it up, making itcompletely useless, leaving
myself with the bare minimum,and I wonder why I'm drained,
(39:45):
stressed out, tired, can't stayawake after work, and I dread
getting up in the morning.
That is clear-cut sign that I'mturning my energy over to some
dance in the world.
I'm just giving it up.
I'm just fucking laying down.
(40:08):
I either peacefully adjustmyself with discipline to
reality, peacefully adjustmyself with discipline to
reality, or ask, how can Ichange this in a beneficial way?
(40:32):
Because we do have the abilityto change things.
Some things are completely outof our hands.
We're going to run up againstthings that are completely out
of our hands, and it's just thereality of the moment.
Now, I can either peacefullyadjust myself to that reality,
or I can walk away.
(40:52):
Again, my choice.
I always used to be up in theclouds with God.
There's a line in some recoveryliterature where it says, of
course...
I'm paraphrasing this, but itsays, of course, God would like
us, our heads to be up in theclouds with him, but our feet
(41:15):
should be firmly planted onearth for that's where our
fellows are.
I used to get lost in thatstuff.
I used to get lost in seekingand I would get lost in prayer
and reading and thinking andwondering about God.
And When I got lost in that, mylife lost energy and vitality
(41:45):
and strength and courage.
I know it seems counterintuitivebecause we could think, oh,
you're building a relationshipwith God.
But for me personally, I washiding in that relationship
because It was the world thatscared me and not knowing how to
handle myself, not knowing who Iwas, you know, having to figure
(42:07):
things out, not knowing things,being socially awkward.
It was really just fear, justhaving fear and not wanting to
walk through fear.
And so really the mostbeneficial thing I could do for
my relationship with God is notto pray to him, not to seek,
seek, seek, but to walk out myfront door and be scared and
accept that help.
(42:31):
Spiritual principles are apathway to God.
You don't have to understand Godbefore you practice the essence
of God.
You don't have to understand Godbefore you practice the essence
of God.
Sit down and write out what youfeel are the characteristics of
the conception of your God.
(42:52):
Truth.
For me, it's truth, love,laughter, joy.
joy levity the ability to takeoneself lightly um and uh
self-discipline spiritualdiscipline compassion and
consideration love honesty youknow all these things so it's
(43:16):
like if you can have aconception of the
characteristics at least becausei'm not sure we'll ever
understand god i mean i know iknow we won't actually but
Actually, I fucking don't know,all right?
But I know I fucking won't, allright, for now.
If I can write out theconceptions, write out the
(43:39):
conception of mycharacteristics, what could it
look like, right?
What could it look like?
And make it look like somethingfor you.
Then if you've got a list, wego, all right, if one of mine is
humor, I move through the day,how can I...
How many smiles can I put on thefaces of humans today?
(44:02):
How many smiles can I get, huh?
What am I bringing into themoment?
Or maybe I say it's truth andGod speaks through others.
So I move through the day withhumility and silence, just
paying attention, hearingpeople, listening to them.
Maybe there's someone you workwith that you never really pay
much mind to them, and all theyneed is a conversation from you.
(44:24):
But we're so caught up in ourdrama that we can only see and
hear the whining of our ownvoice.
This is how the ego works, man.
Whining is probably...
The worst fucking shortcoming inthe world.
Nobody...
Listen, when you're needy andwhining and a blaming person,
(44:48):
you will shove people...
People will run the fuck awayfrom you.
And you'll realize your onlyfriends are going to be the ones
that also whine, complain, andblame.
The needy spirit...
is the small self.
(45:08):
Needing, needing, needing to beokay, needing to be okay, and
then relying on humans, whichare always going to fail you to
be okay, losing game.
You're pushing other people awayfrom you because you're making
demands upon them to fixsomething within you.
They didn't even know they wereup against that.
So you're walking around, needypeople, sign people up for jobs
(45:30):
that they're not aware of.
Right?
Like...
If Christian came in here,right, and he just thought, he
was like, oh yeah, I'm going tofucking set up and record a
podcast.
But I wanted him, I'm like, yo,he better do some fucking
burpees in here.
Like before, like every fiveminutes, dude, he better, I'm
going to need him to fucking dosome burpees at least.
And he just doesn't do burpees.
(45:51):
I'm sitting here getting, I'mfucking fuming, right?
He doesn't know he's just beingfucking Christian.
He's doing what's in front ofhim.
It's got nothing to do, it's gotnothing to do with him.
It's this neediness within me.
you are 100% responsible formeeting your own needs nobody is
(46:14):
responsible for meeting your ownneeds once you start fulfilling
your own needs your shouldersfall back a little bit Your chin
gets a little bit higher.
Your eyes get a bit more clear.
You become more certain of whoyou are and the things you say
and the way you move because youhave created your own okayness.
(46:38):
And then when you get into arelationship, you get the
ability to share that okaynesswith the relationship.
Now, here's the thing.
When you enter into arelationship, your partner...
does there are needs that needto be met you enter into a
(46:58):
mutual agreement where you bringservice to the relationship and
there are needs that yoursignificant other wants for the
relationship and there are needsthat you would want for the
relationship and if you are bothconcerned and willing to be
uncomfortable in order toprovide those needs out of a
(47:20):
state of love there will besuccess there.
But in my relationship, I may bein some sort of mood for the
day, and I may be signing up mygirlfriend for a job that she
doesn't know anything about.
I may be cooking dinner, andshe's not doing something, the
(47:43):
job that I signed her up for.
She's not fucking doing it, andI'm in there fuming, cooking
dinner.
She doesn't know.
This is just fancied.
I go, she better fucking blank.
Fill in the blank.
She better.
She better.
How the fuck is she going toknow what to do?
(48:03):
Unless I'm able to sit down andlove.
Tell her with vulnerability howI'm doing, where I'm at.
I'm a little off kilter todayand I'm feeling like I need to.
Can you meet me there?
Right.
But if you can't first meet yourown needs, it inevitably will
not go well.
because there will be emphasison your partner dancing and
(48:27):
performing to meet your needs.
And humans are always going tofail you.
They're not perfect.
Perfection was already done, andwe hung them on a cross for it.
So to wish and hope forperfection, the thing that
doesn't exist, is silly.
We can aim towards perfection asfar as the things that I want to
(48:51):
achieve and the man that I wantto become and the highest
version of myself.
But I should never be let downif I don't attain that because
we know it's just another day oflearning.
Goals and the wishes that I havefor myself are to be a certain
type of man or to...
(49:13):
At the end of the day, be ableto sit down, take inventory, and
if I ask myself the question, inwhat ways are you proud of
yourself today?
I want to be able to fill somethings in.
When I ask myself the question,where did you surprise yourself
today?
I want to be able to fill thatin.
(49:37):
Where did you walk through feartoday?
I want to be able to fill thatin.
That creates that type ofpersonal responsibility for
everything I'm feeling andthinking and saying and doing.
Because at the end of the day,it's you laying your head on
your pillow at night.
(49:58):
And when you do that, you wantto be the one that took
responsibility for your life.
You want to be the one thatsaid, okay, reality, you won.
How can I best move with you ina Tai Chi way today?
Hold and use my energy andleverage my day in the right
(50:19):
way.
That's who you want to be.
You don't want to lay your headon your pillow at night and go,
oh, fuck.
Although we do that, right?
Or worse, we wake up like thatand go, fuck.
Here we go.
We don't want to do that.
I'll wrap up with this.
That reminds me.
I stumbled upon a reel by Dr.
(50:40):
Joe DeCenza, and he said, youknow, of course it came up on my
algorithm.
He was about, like, this is whypeople don't get up in the
morning, or I know why peopledon't get up in the morning.
So I fucking perked right up.
I'm like, oh, got to turn thesound on this fucking captions
because the boy, the kid,struggles with that, right?
(51:00):
So he was like, When peopledon't want to get up in the
morning, it's because their bodyhas stored past experiences and
decided that it already knowswhat the day is going to bring.
And it has decided it doesn'twant that.
It doesn't have nor does it wantto expend the energy of what it
(51:21):
thinks it already knows is goingto happen.
Now, by evidence...
you don't know what's going tohappen.
You've never been in that momentbefore.
You can't be prepared for it.
So then he contrasts thisexample with, he's like, think
about when you were a kid andyou had a field trip in the
morning.
How quickly you shot up out ofbed.
(51:41):
You were probably ready,backpack packed, boots tied
tight.
I hope I don't get in a fight.
Oh, back to school.
If you got that and you'relaughing, I love you.
So that's the aim, right, is...
In reality, we don't know whatlies outside of our door.
We don't know what's going tohappen when we put our feet down
(52:03):
on our floor, right?
And that's something we shouldlearn how to be excited for.
Because although it's the samejob, although it's the same
coworkers, you've never beenthere in that moment before.
Maybe you take a new way to workor a longer way to work or you
drink a different type of coffeeor you show up to work 30
minutes early just because Oryou talk to one of your
(52:26):
coworkers or be curious abouttheir life and ask them
something about themselves younever asked them before.
Sit down, have a conversationwith a person you always pass in
the hall.
I don't know.
But you can create a new worldand a new experience for
yourself with some vision andintent.
Because I don't want to wake upwith a heavy body in the morning
not wanting to face the dayunder the delusion that I know
(52:49):
what it's going to fucking looklike.
We are geared to want to stepinto the unknown.
That's what the body wants, man.
When we go on a trip or wetravel, think about the
excitement that's in your body.
You have more energy.
Think about how much more you doon a travel day when you're in a
new state or a country.
(53:10):
How long the days are and howmuch you walk, right?
And you're on fire.
You just keep going because yourmind, body, and spirit is
completely devoted to walkinginto that unknown.
And it's a hell of a fuckingtime, right?
So anyways, guys, that's it forepisode 126.
(53:31):
As I mentioned, if you'reinterested in having a coach,
life coach, or just spiritualcoach, a spiritual restart, I am
offering those services now.
If you're interested, I wouldlove to talk to you about it.
We can hop on a call and have alittle discovery call and see
what you're looking for.
And if I can help, if you'reinterested, you can send us an
(53:53):
email at fromthegravepodcasts atgmail.com.
Be sure to check out the blogs,which is going to be scott
russell with collateral beautyat substack it's all over the
instagram just search scottrussell there on substack.com
and uh let's see any othercleanup stuff just be prepared
(54:15):
for new episodes coming out andum if you have any ideas for
topics or guests that you mightwant to have or see on the show
just send us send us an email atfrom the grave podcast at
gmail.com um If you have atopic, this is usually really
fun.
If you send a voice memo inabout a topic you want, or you
have like a question that couldhelp prompt a good conversation,
(54:39):
we would love to play the voicememo during the podcast and
respond to it in real time.
That's usually a fun time.
Um, but basically any questions,concern, comments, uh, inquiries
you have just hit us up at fromthe grave podcast at gmail.com
and, uh, Aside from that, peace,guys.
Be good to yourself and relaxand take it easy today.
(55:02):
Don't struggle so much.
I appreciate you spending yourtime with me.
Peace.
Party people, what is going on?
This is From the Grave podcast.
I am Scott Russell.
This is episode 126, and I'mexcited.
This was a fun podcast episode.
I get into a little bit of adress that was given by Einstein
and Baruch Spinoza about hisidea of God that is a little...
(00:26):
controversial in nature, but Ipick out some parts that I
really like about it.
We talk a lot about taking...
Absolute personal responsibilityfor your life.
Not trying to contend and fightwith the reality of your life.
Making sure that I can preservemy own energy to learn how to
(00:47):
leverage my day in a proper way.
Step away from conflict.
And I think that's about it.
So it was a fun episode.
It's good to be back behind themic.
You can inquire.
or send suggestions for topicsin the form of voice memos.
(01:10):
Send that to FromTheGravePodcastat gmail.com.
You send it in to us.
We'll play it in the episode andrespond to it.
I am also now doing life slashspiritual coaching.
So if you're interested in aone-on-one relationship and
(01:30):
maybe a spiritual restart, sendme an email at
fromthegravepodcasts atgmail.com.
And we can hop on a discoverycall and see if it fits and if I
can help in any way.
Let's see.
Aside from that, make sure yousubscribe to YouTube.
Make sure you're following us onInstagram from the grave podcast
(01:52):
on all platforms.
And then also, I'm doing blogsnow too, so make sure you check
out Scott Russell, which iscollateralbeauty at
substack.com.
The link's all over the Facebookpage and the Instagram page, so
check it out.
Episode 126, I hope you enjoy.
(02:13):
What's the eternal principle?
UNKNOWN (02:18):
That one.
SPEAKER_00 (02:20):
Which is...
Well, we call it God, but thatpersonifies it.
Episode 126.
Been a little bit.
Changed some stuff around.
(02:41):
We're in a new spot, new studio.
And by studio, I mean my sparebedroom.
We got Christian behind theproduction table, basically set
up in the middle of my closet.
So, yeah, we're going to havesome fun, man.
I'm excited to be back.
And, you know, I feel likethere's been a couple of times
(03:04):
where I'm like, no, we're back,dude.
Fucking here we go.
But, you know, life is fuckinglife.
And I've had a lot of shit goingon, you know, so I had to plant
my roots and And now we'reready.
We got some stabilization.
We got some foundation.
And we're going to get back tocreating.
(03:30):
Oh, I got to remember something,actually, for when I do the
intro.
Give me one second.
All right, that.
So I've had a few things that Iwas thinking about talking
about, but something just cameup to me.
Like the last like 10 minutes.
So I think I'm going to rockwith that.
(03:51):
But yeah, man, aside from that,just a little what the hell's
been going on with me.
I haven't been working out asmuch as I would like to.
My life is so busy, but it's agood busy, which is such a
fucking cliche thing to say.
(04:13):
But still working full-time,working out when I can.
Right now, it's been only likethree days a week, which is
super annoying, but I'm doingwhat I can.
So in a full-blown relationship,living with my girl, too many
(04:36):
animals, shadows contending withsome new animals.
It's been a few fights.
A couple stitches that needed tobe sewn, so that's been driving
me up a fucking wall.
But that's basically the numberone issue I have in my life.
Life is my fucking animals.
(04:58):
At any rate...
Life is pretty fucking good.
It's getting a little hot inthis room immediately once we
hit record and I startedtalking.
But, I mean, the AC is comingout fine.
I got a fan cruising on low.
So, I don't know.
We're going to have to get thisshit dialed in.
Also of note, Happy Gilmore 2has been greenlighted to come
(05:24):
out on Netflix.
We don't have a date yet, right?
No.
No.
So we're keeping our eyes peeledfor that.
That's about 90% of my quotelanguage is Happy Gilmore.
So really excited on that.
But I mean, I hope he doesn'tfucking blow it, dude.
There's like, you know, themajority rule is like you need
(05:45):
to leave movies alone.
The greatest movies, you know,like the GOATs of the movies,
Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison.
Yeah.
Tommy Boy.
I mean, they basically did asequel to Tommy Boy that was
Black Sheep, and that is fuckinghilarious.
They nailed it out of the parkwith that, but I don't know.
(06:05):
I mean, I'm a big Sandler guy.
I have faith in Sandman, but hedropped the ball with Grown Ups
2.
He's made a couple whack-assmovies, but I don't know, man.
I'm just fucking...
Anchorman 2 was lit.
Anchorman 2 was good.
I know there's some mixedopinion out there, but Anchorman
(06:27):
2 was fire.
People don't give it a shot.
Those movies, sometimes you gotto watch a couple of times
through.
I thought Anchorman 2 wasfucking hilarious, but mixed
opinions out there.
Anyways...
I've rekindled my blog, which ison substack.com.
(06:54):
The name of the newsletter, ifyou will, is called Collateral
Beauty by Scott Russell.
So if you search for me onSubstack, Collateral Beauty,
Scott Russell, I think that'show you would do it.
You just...
type in your email sign it upand you'll get a daily blog or
(07:14):
if you just don't know how to dothat and you want to be signed
up you can email us at from thegrave podcast at gmail.com and
just say hey please add my emailto your newsletter so been
excited about that we've been umright in getting dialed in on
(07:36):
screen printing and um makingt-shirts and shorts and stuff
from the bare bare minimum allthe way up so it's tough it's
not rocket science it's notrocket science but learning how
to use the proper methodology tomake shirts come out the way
(08:01):
that I want them to be in thehands of a customer and is it's
a little difficult.
You know, it's like you have toreally fine tune it.
So I told everyone that therewas going to be a drop like
three fucking months ago.
And then I was like, dude, Ican't do this right before I
move.
This is going to be insane.
(08:22):
I'm not even going to have theproper setup to sit down, mail
out gear.
So I was like, never mind, JK,we're going to push it back.
So I'm not even going to tellyou that we're about ready.
I think that we're about ready.
I keep adding more shit, butI'll get there when we get
(08:44):
there.
How about that?
I'll get there when we getthere, and I appreciate you
still reaching out and wantingsome stuff.
But it's been fun.
Just created a new design.
I'll keep that one in the pocketfor now.
Going to be doing a lot ofevents this year.
You can find me at...
Coco Yogi Market, which is thefirst Sunday of every month.
(09:10):
I believe in Delray Square, Ithink.
I'm not certain.
Used to be at Veterans Park.
It's not at Veterans Parkanymore.
I'm going to try and get thereJune 1st, but I'm not 100%
certain yet, so...
But when I'm actually set up andcommitted there, you guys will
(09:32):
know about it through socialmedia and the podcast and all
that.
The way you can be guaranteed tobe in the loop as far as what's
coming out, drops, episodes,blogs, and all that, you need to
be following on Instagram.
Check us out from The GravePodcast.
All right.
So at any rate...
(09:54):
Like I said, I had thought abouta couple things to bring, but I
remembered I had made a note.
And one of my notes is, it'scalled the God of Spinoza.
So Albert Einstein, when he usedto tour and give talks in the
U.S., one of his most commonquestions was, do you believe in
(10:19):
God?
Right.
Very proper thing to say tosome, you know, intellectual IQ
out of this world, smartest manalive type of stuff.
We want to know the answer tothe deep questions.
I don't know how true this storyis.
But when he was when he wasasked this question earlier.
(10:42):
When he was asked the question,do you believe in God, he always
answered, I got it up in frontof me, so I'll read it through a
little bit and we'll talk aboutit.
He was asked, do you believe inGod?
And he always answered, Ibelieve in the God of Spinoza.
Baruch Spinoza was a Dutchphilosopher considered one of
(11:02):
the greatest rationalists of the17th century philosophy, along
with Descartes.
Spinoza, God would say, So inthe voice of God, stop praying.
What I want you to do is go outinto the world and enjoy your
life.
(11:23):
I want you to sing, have fun,enjoy everything I've made for
you.
Stop going into those dark, coldtemples that you've built for
yourself and saying they are myhouse.
My house is in the mountains, inthe woods, in the rivers, lakes,
and beaches.
(11:44):
That's where I live, and there Iexpress my love for you.
Stop blaming me for yourmiserable life.
I never told you there wasanything wrong with you or that
you were a sinner or that yoursexuality was a bad thing.
Sex is a gift I have given youand with which you can express
(12:05):
your love, your ecstasy, yourjoy.
So don't blame me for everythingthey made you believe.
Stop reading alleged sacredscriptures that have nothing to
do with me.
If you can't read me in asunrise, in a landscape, in the
look of your friends, in yourson's eyes, you will find me in
(12:26):
no book.
Stop asking me, will you tell mehow to do my job?
Stop being so scared of me.
I do not judge you or criticizeyou, nor get angry or bothered.
I am pure love.
Stop asking for forgiveness.
There's nothing to forgive.
(12:46):
If I made you, I filled you withpassions, limitations,
pleasures, feelings, needs,inconsistencies, free will.
How can I blame you if yourespond to something that I put
in you?
How can I punish you for beingthe way you are if I'm the one
who made you?
Do you think I would create aplace to burn all my children
(13:08):
who behave badly for the rest ofeternity?
What kind of God would do that?
Respect your peers.
Don't do what you don't want foryourself.
All I ask is that you payattention in your life.
That alertness is your guide.
My beloved, this is not a test.
(13:30):
Not a step on the way, not arehearsal, nor a prelude to
paradise.
This life is the only thing hereand now, and it is all you need.
I have set you absolutely free.
No prizes or punishments, nosins or virtues.
No one carries a marker, no onekeeps a record.
(13:53):
You are absolutely free tocreate your life, heaven or
hell.
I can't tell you if there'sanything after this, but I can
give you a tip.
Live as if there is not.
As if this is your only chanceto enjoy, to love, to exist.
(14:14):
So if there is nothing after,then you will have enjoyed the
opportunity I've given you.
And if there is, rest assuredthat I won't ask if you behaved
right or wrong.
I'll ask, did you like it?
Did you have fun?
What did you enjoy the most?
What did you learn?
Stop believing in me.
Believing is assuming, guessing,imagining.
(14:37):
I don't want you to believe inme.
I want you to believe in you.
I want you to feel me in youwhen you kiss your beloved, when
you tuck in your little girl,when you caress your dog, when
you bathe in the sea.
Stop praising me.
What kind of egomaniac God doyou think I am?
(14:59):
I'm bothered by your praise.
I'm bored of your praise.
I'm tired of being thanked.
Feeling grateful?
Prove it by taking care ofyourself, your health, your
relationships, the world.
Express your joy.
That's the way to praise me.
(15:20):
Stop complicating things andrepeating as a parakeet would.
What you've been taught aboutme.
What do you need more miraclesfor?
So many explanations.
The only thing for sure is thatyou are here, that you are
alive, that this world is fullof wonders.
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Baruch Spinoza.
Powerful ass reading.
Powerful reading.
I use this a lot because I workin the treatment field and I
like to ruffle a lot of feathersbecause this opposes and
challenges, threatens a lot ofChristianity, but also embraces
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the golden rule.
And so it's just really, reallya messy conception of God, an
awesome, purified conception ofGod.
It's not reaching or graspingfor anything else.
This dude is as far as I cansay, contemplated within
himself, and his own conceptionof God was brought to him.
(16:34):
And this is what it screamed.
The first one, stop praying.
Stop praying.
Now, for me, I'm a big prayerguy.
But the reason why he says this,in my eyes, is he's saying, go
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out and prove it.
Go out and live.
If you're praying, if you have arelationship with me, go step
out into this world, dance,sing, love, be happy, be
beautiful, walk it out.
You're grateful, be healthy.
Take care of your relationships.
Take care of yourself.
Exercise, eat right, givesomething to the world.
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Express all these things.
that you read in a book and thenparrot.
He says, I want you to go outinto the world and enjoy your
life.
I want you to sing, have fun,everything, and enjoy what I
have made for you.
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One of the best lines in here,he goes, stop blaming me for
your miserable life.
One of the greatest freedomsever that I've experienced in my
life is when I took 100%responsibility for every
experience I have in my life.
Where I looked in the mirror andI said, this is on me.
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My life is the way it is rightnow because I designed it that
way.
I gave up.
I ran away.
I spit in the face of truth.
I'm the one who got high.
This is the natural result ofliving in a certain manner.
We are all little creationmachines.
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We're always creating, not someof the times, all of the times.
Based on the thoughts I have,the feelings that are sparked by
those thoughts, the words thatcome out of my mouth, the way my
feet move, the relationships Ienter with, that is always
creating a world around me.
(18:45):
Now, based on my emotionalstate...
Jesus, these fucking cats areabsolutely ridiculous.
I'm just going to let them killeach other.
Or that's going to significantlyannoy me, one or the other.
This is what happens when youhave fucking new cats dealing
with each other.
We're going to have to pause itand cut it out.
(19:09):
Anyways...
Um, okay.
(19:38):
I completely fucking forgotwhere I was.
I'm going to get back there.
I'm going to get back there.
I'm going to get back there.
Okay.
I'm a little creation machine.
When I move through life, nottaking responsibility for how I
move, it's me against the world.
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And the world was here first.
So it's really fucking good atwinning.
I am a part of the world.
I am a part of life.
If I don't want to takeresponsibility for my hand in
this relationship, it's going tobe a shitty fucking
relationship, all right?
And I did that for a long, longtime.
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And I got to a point where I wasnot happy with the payoff.
Well, I wasn't happy with thepayoff from the jump.
It took me a long time to acceptthe fact that That I was the one
bringing the payoff into my lifeand that I also had the ability
to change it.
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Most of the time, people canstumble through life
experiencing life.
And sometimes the chaos of lifeshows up on your doorstep.
I'm not saying that the thingsin your life are your fault.
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What I'm saying is what I'velearned is that every experience
that comes into my life is myresponsibility, meaning all the
hard stuff.
What it means is if it stumblesinto my home, and I experience
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this, and let's say it's unjust,and I am harmed, or I am going
through a very, very sad,grieving state in my life, or a
family member gets cancer orsomething like that, please
don't hear me wrong.
I am not saying that by anymeans that is your fault.
(21:58):
But what I am saying is that isnow a part of your reality.
And we have two choices when weexperience radical discomfort.
Open ourselves up to it and seewhat is there for us or turn
away from it and suppress andrepress.
(22:20):
Now, the latter usually happens.
And the bitch about that is wethink that we're really dodging
things when we suppress it orrepress emotions or experiences
that we don't want to deal with.
What I've learned is, you know,you may sweep it under the rug,
(22:41):
but you're living on the rug.
So it's not going to becomfortable.
It may not be at the forefrontof your mind, but you can be
certain that that it is robbingyou of life force.
It is robbing you of energy andis taking from your current
relationships, your job, yourhealth, your finance.
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I know it may sound radical, butthese are the things that I have
experienced.
Again, I'm a fucking dummy, allright, with this stuff, but I
just really stumble forwardthrough life and see, you know,
what I can do to infuse my lifein a positive manner with
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spiritual truth.
One of those truths is the fruitof my life is my own doing.
So it's a part of my life.
I don't get to complain.
We are magnets.
(23:51):
And we attract.
This is going to be tough.
This is going to be fuckingtough to hear if you've
experienced some shit in yourlife, all right?
And this, again, this is just mybelief.
It doesn't make it right.
It doesn't make it wrong.
If you have experienced sometough things in your life, as I
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have, some unjust things, It ispart of your life lesson for a
reason, which may forever onlybe and only rest in the mind of
God.
It may, I don't know.
But I believe that the thingsthat happened to us in this
(24:36):
lifetime, happened in ourexperience, stumbled onto our
doorstep, was scripted from thebeginning.
I think that there's multiple...
different iterations of me.
I think that there's justconstant lessons to learn.
(25:01):
And what I have learned is thatpain is the launching pad into a
new life, a good life.
And pain is as sweet as candy.
It may not feel that way.
(25:22):
Pain is a fucking Sour PatchKid, all right?
First it's sour, then it'sreally, really sweet.
But you got to get past the sourpart.
If you put it in your mouth andit's too sour and you spit it
out, you never get to enjoy thebenefits of Sour Patch Kids, all
right?
And Sour Patch Kids fuckingslap.
So, you know what I mean?
Especially the watermelon ones.
(25:42):
But I always ran from pain.
I always ran from discomfort.
I ran from experiences thatdidn't make me feel great, that
didn't make me feel euphoric,right?
Because I wanted to feel goodall the time.
(26:04):
That's not the way that lifeworks.
I think that we're going toexperience tragedy.
I think we're going toexperience very, very potent
moments of life that are veryhard to bear.
(26:25):
And you may not have an answerfor why that is happening.
You may have an effect felt deepin your cells.
It may rattle you a way thatnothing ever has before, but I
believe that it is there for areason.
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And that is one of the mostannoying things to hear, to be
honest.
Because the shit that makes usgo, why me?
Why me?
That has the ability to have aprofound effect on the spiritual
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liberation of a human spirit.
Whether you think that you wantthat or not may not be part of
your business.
I don't know.
These are just kind of thingsthat I stumble forward and move
with and think about.
And I do know that the mostpainful moments in my life, the
(27:41):
ones that have seemed to splitmy cells open and I could feel
it, have been the most holythings that have ever happened
to me.
And I wouldn't change it.
I wouldn't change it, man,because it is continually
(28:02):
forging me into the person Iwould like to be tomorrow
without realizing that I wouldlike to be that person tomorrow,
you know?
So Spinoza dumps thisresponsibility on us He says,
you're free to create your ownheaven and your own hell.
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Matter of fact, Joseph Campbell,my guy, right?
Joseph Campbell says, all theheavens, all the hells, and all
the gods are within you.
Damn, that's some heavy shit,right?
Okay.
That means I can facilitate andcreate from those places.
That means I have the power ofthe gods, right?
(28:46):
to experience and create my ownheaven or my own hell and share
that hell or that heaven withthe world.
And the world already has a lotof hell.
The one thing that can lead...
(29:08):
to a constant bad experience oflife is not taking personal
responsibility for everything inyour life.
Because if it is your reality,if it is your reality, then how
(29:30):
can I resist it?
Now, I'm not saying that we haveto stay in unfortunate
situations.
But if it is my reality, I gotto learn how to Tai Chi my way
ass through that bitch andfigure out how to change that
reality.
I'm responsible for whatever isin my path.
(29:51):
Be it negative, be it positive,be it neutral.
Reality one.
The reality that you have hadtoday or whenever you're
listening to this on your way towork, reality fucking won.
It already won.
The day you're going to have isthe day you're going to have.
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The people you're going to runinto, the situations you're
going to have to deal with, thephone calls that are going to
come, that's the reality.
That's the drama of life infront of you today.
You are 100% responsible for forexperiencing and entering into a
relationship with that reality.
(30:35):
Now, you can either wish thereality away, which is silly
because it's already fuckingwon.
That would be like Mike Tysondropping your ass.
And then instead of getting upand watching him get his hand
raised, you just wish it did.
You just say, I wish this didn'thappen.
I wish he would go away.
Motherfucker, Mike Tyson ain'tgoing away.
(30:56):
He won.
So The first thing I can do isaccept that reality had won.
And the more I let reality justbe reality, the more of
permission I get from life tojust be me.
Because the more I contend withthe reality of my day or
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situations or relationships,when I contend with it, I create
collision and confusion.
We call this self-will.
If I step away from it, I havethe ability to retrieve the
energy that is in conflict withreality.
(31:38):
There's no sense in getting lostin conflict.
You're wasting time and turningover your energy for a play, for
the drama of life.
I fucking do this, man.
I fucking do this.
(31:58):
And it works my ass, man.
It just eats my fucking lunch.
I can't stand it.
I absolutely cannot stand it,dude.
It's like I can get jammed up insomething and my ego gets
involved.
I get really, really attached tomy preferences.
I have contempt within me.
(32:20):
And it's not fun having thatstuff within you.
When you have that, disjointedenergy within you, you're going
to fuck up.
You're going to fuck up yourlife a little bit.
You're going to hyperextend yourelbow.
You're going to hyperextend yourknee.
You're going to tear somemeniscus.
All right.
No one likes walking around incrutches, but essentially that's
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what I'm doing with my energy isI twist my ankle up so much that
I'm walking around with theenergy of someone trying to run
on crutches.
That's a good fucking metaphor,all right?
That's what I am, Mr.
Fucking Crutchmaster.
You know how many times I'vewalked on crutches in my life?
I've broken both feet, my leftankle, because of skateboarding.
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And I had crutches for so longthat I had fucking stickers all
over them things, you know, likea really seasoned in pair.
Hell, there was times throughoutmy school year where I spent
more times on crutches than Idid on my feet, you know?
And...
When I'm walking around wishingthat, sometimes it even moves
(33:28):
into a demand.
If I'm moving through my day, ifI'm moving through the reality
of my day, demanding that itchanges, I am Dumping energy out
of myself and giving it to theworld.
And I'm saying, you know what?
Never mind.
I don't want to run and be freetoday.
Give me some crutches.
I'd rather just hop around andget pimped out like a$2 hoe
(33:51):
because that's what I want.
I want to give up here.
Take my energy situation.
Take my energy misses in myrelationship.
Take my energy job.
Take my energy coworker.
It's ridiculous, right?
But the mind and the ego arevery, very good at doing this,
especially mine.
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And you get to learn a lot aboutyourself in these moments.
And in a 12-step program,there's these steps, six and
seven, which are all about ourcharacter defects and
shortcomings.
And there's a prayer to addressthese character defects and
shortcomings once we get privyto them, which is, my creator, I
am now willing that you shouldhave all of me, good and bad.
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I pray that you now remove fromme every single defect of
character that stands in my wayof my usefulness to you.
and my fellows, which is theworld at large, right?
God, others, self.
God, others, self.
Now, that's a beautiful prayer,and it works, but my experience
(34:57):
has not been say that prayer andwake up pure as the driven snow.
I can't blame prayer, God, ormeditation.
for still having tough days.
And this is one of the toughestmisconceptions that leads to a
world of shame and contentionwith this spiritual stuff that
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If I'm this perfect spiritualsoldier and I wake up in the
morning and journal and meditateand pray and skip out the front
door and live a life of selflessservice and not ask for anything
of myself and then work out andeat fucking steak and vegetables
all day, come home, do someself-reflection, pray, meditate,
(35:44):
that I'm an A student and lifeis going to be pretty.
That could not be further fromthe truth.
That is what we callperformance-based love.
And that means I'm completelyattached to outcome, and I'm
(36:04):
performing for the A.
Now, that's good in fuckingschool, where you perform for
the A.
You want to get an A on thetest?
You better read chapters 4, 5,and 6.
study your ass off, learn how tocomprehend it, teach it, take
the test, perform, get an A.
All right?
(36:24):
That's where performance is due,is in the function of the world.
But you don't have to performfor spiritual power.
We are not saints.
If we make progress the best weknow how in trying to grow in
the image and likeness of God, Ibelieve I'm doing my part.
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Now in this growth, in thistrudge forward, I am going to
come face to face with mydefects and they're going to
smack me the fuck around.
They're going to smack me aroundbecause you know what?
I got to experience pain as thelaunching pad to new freedom the
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same way it had to happenthrough tragic experience of
addiction.
or any other tragic experienceyou may have.
Think about a young man.
You know, if you ever meet a kidwho's been through some real
shit, a young kid, you know, 12years old, 15 years old, you
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know, maybe dad died of a heartattack, mom or friend or aunt or
uncle has cancer, somethingreally, really shitty happened
that was just that moved to ahigher order.
They experienced powerlessness.
And most of the time we say, youare wise beyond your years.
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Or we say, wow, he's so mature.
Man, that kid has a good head onhis shoulders.
What a good perspective he has.
I wish I knew what he knew,right?
Tragedy shapes the human.
It shapes us in humility.
Where we know we are not thecenter of the universe and we're
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just out here playing a role andthere are forces greater than us
at work.
So while we're here, we might aswell enjoy it.
Have as much fun as we canwithin reason, you know, fun
that's not going to, you know,that's not hedonism, right?
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When I can accept what iscurrently in front of me, I
receive the energy that is mine,the full embodiment of energy I
have to move throughout my dayin a positive, constructive way.
If I contend with the reality ofmy life that day and resist it
(39:01):
and wish it was different, ThenI'm giving up energy because I'm
trying to arrange life to suitmyself.
Life already won.
It was here before.
Life doesn't owe you anything.
It was here way before you were.
(39:24):
When I try to arrange life tosuit myself, I'm giving up and
robbing myself of energy uselessenergy, right?
I'm giving it up, making itcompletely useless, leaving
myself with the bare minimum,and I wonder why I'm drained,
(39:45):
stressed out, tired, can't stayawake after work, and I dread
getting up in the morning.
That is clear-cut sign that I'mturning my energy over to some
dance in the world.
I'm just giving it up.
I'm just fucking laying down.
(40:08):
I either peacefully adjustmyself with discipline to
reality, peacefully adjustmyself with discipline to
reality, or ask, how can Ichange this in a beneficial way?
(40:32):
Because we do have the abilityto change things.
Some things are completely outof our hands.
We're going to run up againstthings that are completely out
of our hands, and it's just thereality of the moment.
Now, I can either peacefullyadjust myself to that reality,
or I can walk away.
(40:52):
Again, my choice.
I always used to be up in theclouds with God.
There's a line in some recoveryliterature where it says, of
course...
I'm paraphrasing this, but itsays, of course, God would like
us, our heads to be up in theclouds with him, but our feet
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should be firmly planted onearth for that's where our
fellows are.
I used to get lost in thatstuff.
I used to get lost in seekingand I would get lost in prayer
and reading and thinking andwondering about God.
And When I got lost in that, mylife lost energy and vitality
(41:45):
and strength and courage.
I know it seems counterintuitivebecause we could think, oh,
you're building a relationshipwith God.
But for me personally, I washiding in that relationship
because It was the world thatscared me and not knowing how to
handle myself, not knowing who Iwas, you know, having to figure
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things out, not knowing things,being socially awkward.
It was really just fear, justhaving fear and not wanting to
walk through fear.
And so really the mostbeneficial thing I could do for
my relationship with God is notto pray to him, not to seek,
seek, seek, but to walk out myfront door and be scared and
accept that help.
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Spiritual principles are apathway to God.
You don't have to understand Godbefore you practice the essence
of God.
You don't have to understand Godbefore you practice the essence
of God.
Sit down and write out what youfeel are the characteristics of
the conception of your God.
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Truth.
For me, it's truth, love,laughter, joy.
joy levity the ability to takeoneself lightly um and uh
self-discipline spiritualdiscipline compassion and
consideration love honesty youknow all these things so it's
(43:16):
like if you can have aconception of the
characteristics at least becausei'm not sure we'll ever
understand god i mean i know iknow we won't actually but
Actually, I fucking don't know,all right?
But I know I fucking won't, allright, for now.
If I can write out theconceptions, write out the
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conception of mycharacteristics, what could it
look like, right?
What could it look like?
And make it look like somethingfor you.
Then if you've got a list, wego, all right, if one of mine is
humor, I move through the day,how can I...
How many smiles can I put on thefaces of humans today?
(44:02):
How many smiles can I get, huh?
What am I bringing into themoment?
Or maybe I say it's truth andGod speaks through others.
So I move through the day withhumility and silence, just
paying attention, hearingpeople, listening to them.
Maybe there's someone you workwith that you never really pay
much mind to them, and all theyneed is a conversation from you.
(44:24):
But we're so caught up in ourdrama that we can only see and
hear the whining of our ownvoice.
This is how the ego works, man.
Whining is probably...
The worst fucking shortcoming inthe world.
Nobody...
Listen, when you're needy andwhining and a blaming person,
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you will shove people...
People will run the fuck awayfrom you.
And you'll realize your onlyfriends are going to be the ones
that also whine, complain, andblame.
The needy spirit...
is the small self.
(45:08):
Needing, needing, needing to beokay, needing to be okay, and
then relying on humans, whichare always going to fail you to
be okay, losing game.
You're pushing other people awayfrom you because you're making
demands upon them to fixsomething within you.
They didn't even know they wereup against that.
So you're walking around, needypeople, sign people up for jobs
(45:30):
that they're not aware of.
Right?
Like...
If Christian came in here,right, and he just thought, he
was like, oh yeah, I'm going tofucking set up and record a
podcast.
But I wanted him, I'm like, yo,he better do some fucking
burpees in here.
Like before, like every fiveminutes, dude, he better, I'm
going to need him to fucking dosome burpees at least.
And he just doesn't do burpees.
(45:51):
I'm sitting here getting, I'mfucking fuming, right?
He doesn't know he's just beingfucking Christian.
He's doing what's in front ofhim.
It's got nothing to do, it's gotnothing to do with him.
It's this neediness within me.
you are 100% responsible formeeting your own needs nobody is
(46:14):
responsible for meeting your ownneeds once you start fulfilling
your own needs your shouldersfall back a little bit Your chin
gets a little bit higher.
Your eyes get a bit more clear.
You become more certain of whoyou are and the things you say
and the way you move because youhave created your own okayness.
(46:38):
And then when you get into arelationship, you get the
ability to share that okaynesswith the relationship.
Now, here's the thing.
When you enter into arelationship, your partner...
does there are needs that needto be met you enter into a
(46:58):
mutual agreement where you bringservice to the relationship and
there are needs that yoursignificant other wants for the
relationship and there are needsthat you would want for the
relationship and if you are bothconcerned and willing to be
uncomfortable in order toprovide those needs out of a
(47:20):
state of love there will besuccess there.
But in my relationship, I may bein some sort of mood for the
day, and I may be signing up mygirlfriend for a job that she
doesn't know anything about.
I may be cooking dinner, andshe's not doing something, the
(47:43):
job that I signed her up for.
She's not fucking doing it, andI'm in there fuming, cooking
dinner.
She doesn't know.
This is just fancied.
I go, she better fucking blank.
Fill in the blank.
She better.
She better.
How the fuck is she going toknow what to do?
(48:03):
Unless I'm able to sit down andlove.
Tell her with vulnerability howI'm doing, where I'm at.
I'm a little off kilter todayand I'm feeling like I need to.
Can you meet me there?
Right.
But if you can't first meet yourown needs, it inevitably will
not go well.
because there will be emphasison your partner dancing and
(48:27):
performing to meet your needs.
And humans are always going tofail you.
They're not perfect.
Perfection was already done, andwe hung them on a cross for it.
So to wish and hope forperfection, the thing that
doesn't exist, is silly.
We can aim towards perfection asfar as the things that I want to
(48:51):
achieve and the man that I wantto become and the highest
version of myself.
But I should never be let downif I don't attain that because
we know it's just another day oflearning.
Goals and the wishes that I havefor myself are to be a certain
type of man or to...
(49:13):
At the end of the day, be ableto sit down, take inventory, and
if I ask myself the question, inwhat ways are you proud of
yourself today?
I want to be able to fill somethings in.
When I ask myself the question,where did you surprise yourself
today?
I want to be able to fill thatin.
(49:37):
Where did you walk through feartoday?
I want to be able to fill thatin.
That creates that type ofpersonal responsibility for
everything I'm feeling andthinking and saying and doing.
Because at the end of the day,it's you laying your head on
your pillow at night.
(49:58):
And when you do that, you wantto be the one that took
responsibility for your life.
You want to be the one thatsaid, okay, reality, you won.
How can I best move with you ina Tai Chi way today?
Hold and use my energy andleverage my day in the right
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way.
That's who you want to be.
You don't want to lay your headon your pillow at night and go,
oh, fuck.
Although we do that, right?
Or worse, we wake up like thatand go, fuck.
Here we go.
We don't want to do that.
I'll wrap up with this.
That reminds me.
I stumbled upon a reel by Dr.
(50:40):
Joe DeCenza, and he said, youknow, of course it came up on my
algorithm.
He was about, like, this is whypeople don't get up in the
morning, or I know why peopledon't get up in the morning.
So I fucking perked right up.
I'm like, oh, got to turn thesound on this fucking captions
because the boy, the kid,struggles with that, right?
(51:00):
So he was like, When peopledon't want to get up in the
morning, it's because their bodyhas stored past experiences and
decided that it already knowswhat the day is going to bring.
And it has decided it doesn'twant that.
It doesn't have nor does it wantto expend the energy of what it
(51:21):
thinks it already knows is goingto happen.
Now, by evidence...
you don't know what's going tohappen.
You've never been in that momentbefore.
You can't be prepared for it.
So then he contrasts thisexample with, he's like, think
about when you were a kid andyou had a field trip in the
morning.
How quickly you shot up out ofbed.
(51:41):
You were probably ready,backpack packed, boots tied
tight.
I hope I don't get in a fight.
Oh, back to school.
If you got that and you'relaughing, I love you.
So that's the aim, right, is...
In reality, we don't know whatlies outside of our door.
We don't know what's going tohappen when we put our feet down
(52:03):
on our floor, right?
And that's something we shouldlearn how to be excited for.
Because although it's the samejob, although it's the same
coworkers, you've never beenthere in that moment before.
Maybe you take a new way to workor a longer way to work or you
drink a different type of coffeeor you show up to work 30
minutes early just because Oryou talk to one of your
(52:26):
coworkers or be curious abouttheir life and ask them
something about themselves younever asked them before.
Sit down, have a conversationwith a person you always pass in
the hall.
I don't know.
But you can create a new worldand a new experience for
yourself with some vision andintent.
Because I don't want to wake upwith a heavy body in the morning
not wanting to face the dayunder the delusion that I know
(52:49):
what it's going to fucking looklike.
We are geared to want to stepinto the unknown.
That's what the body wants, man.
When we go on a trip or wetravel, think about the
excitement that's in your body.
You have more energy.
Think about how much more you doon a travel day when you're in a
new state or a country.
(53:10):
How long the days are and howmuch you walk, right?
And you're on fire.
You just keep going because yourmind, body, and spirit is
completely devoted to walkinginto that unknown.
And it's a hell of a fuckingtime, right?
So anyways, guys, that's it forepisode 126.
(53:31):
As I mentioned, if you'reinterested in having a coach,
life coach, or just spiritualcoach, a spiritual restart, I am
offering those services now.
If you're interested, I wouldlove to talk to you about it.
We can hop on a call and have alittle discovery call and see
what you're looking for.
And if I can help, if you'reinterested, you can send us an
(53:53):
email at fromthegravepodcasts atgmail.com.
Be sure to check out the blogs,which is going to be scott
russell with collateral beautyat substack it's all over the
instagram just search scottrussell there on substack.com
and uh let's see any othercleanup stuff just be prepared
(54:15):
for new episodes coming out andum if you have any ideas for
topics or guests that you mightwant to have or see on the show
just send us send us an email atfrom the grave podcast at
gmail.com um If you have atopic, this is usually really
fun.
If you send a voice memo inabout a topic you want, or you
have like a question that couldhelp prompt a good conversation,
(54:39):
we would love to play the voicememo during the podcast and
respond to it in real time.
That's usually a fun time.
Um, but basically any questions,concern, comments, uh, inquiries
you have just hit us up at fromthe grave podcast at gmail.com
and, uh, Aside from that, peace,guys.
Be good to yourself and relaxand take it easy today.
(55:02):
Don't struggle so much.
I appreciate you spending yourtime with me.
Peace.
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