August 1, 2025 • 44 mins
The whispered allure of "bound and gagged" has been etched into our cultural consciousness, but what makes gags such a powerful element in power exchange? In this deep dive into the world of gag play, Edge explores the intricate psychology, diverse varieties, and crucial safety aspects that every kinkster should understand.
Gags create an unparalleled psychological impact by removing one's ability to speak—transforming a person through objectification and control. Beyond just silencing, they serve to dehumanize in the most erotic way, shifting headspace and reinforcing power dynamics with remarkable efficiency. Yet contrary to what many assume, the purpose isn't silence at all. The muffled moans and desperate sounds that emerge around a properly placed gag create an auditory landscape that heightens arousal for everyone involved.
From traditional ball gags and equestrian-inspired bit gags to impromptu solutions like bandanas and clothing, the world of gags offers endless possibilities to explore. Edge covers luxury options like Silencilicone alongside DIY alternatives, explaining how different materials create distinct sensations and psychological effects. The discussion doesn't shy away from practical concerns—exploring the four primary safety considerations (vomiting, breathing, saliva management, and muscle soreness) while offering concrete strategies to minimize risk through positioning and communication.
Whether you're a seasoned player or curious newcomer, this comprehensive guide provides both technical knowledge and psychological insight. Edge's personal journey with gags adds nuanced perspective, revealing how preferences evolve and acknowledging that while gags occupy an iconic place in BDSM imagery, they remain entirely optional. Discover how this seemingly simple tool creates profound experiences of submission, control, and sensory delight when wielded with knowledge and care.
Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Let's talk about gags , that you are an adult.
Welcome to Full Cow, a podcastabout leather kink and BDSM.
(00:42):
My name is Edge, my pronounsare he, him, and I'm your host.
In this episode we're going tobe thinking about gags.
Now, in some ways, this is kindof revisiting the earlier
episode we did on bondage.
But, to be honest, someone onTwitter I don't call it that
someone on Twitter had asked meto do a video series on gags and
(01:04):
I finally got around to doingthat.
I'm like, oh, this is actuallypretty good content.
Let me just make a podcastepisode about that.
So this is sort of a bonus-ykind of episode to the podcast
driven by my other social mediawork.
So I'm hoping you enjoy it.
And because it's this sort ofbonus episode and because I just
recently did the first episodeof the fourth season, this is
(01:29):
kind of it.
I don't have any other segmentsplanned.
No one has sent in questionsfor Ask Edge, so we're really
just going to be talking aboutgags and I'll talk a little bit
about my own history with gagson top and bottom, and then
we'll go deeply into everythingI know about gags which isn't
everything to be known aboutgags on top and bottom and then
we'll go deeply into everythingI know about gags, which isn't
everything to be known aboutgags, but perhaps will give you
(01:50):
a starting point.
So you know, usually I say, wow, that's a really great episode,
let's get started.
I don't know, I think this is apretty good episode and I'll
let you be the judge, but oneway or another we are going to
get started.
So here we go.
If you follow this podcast forany length of time, then you may
(02:13):
possibly recall that I startedmy kink journey in bondage.
I was a bondage boy, or perhapsmore accurately a bondage
bottom, and I was all about thebondage.
It was really, at that point,my only fetish or kink, and I
pursued it relentlessly and Ifound someone who was very good
(02:33):
at it and then I drowned in theexperience.
I just had as much of it as Icould take and then a little bit
more.
So as part of that, I've spenta lot of my early years gagged
with a variety of kinds of gagsand I will say part of me really
likes a gag because it feelspart of the bondage experience.
(02:56):
But I have a relatively smallmouth make of that as you will
and my jaw gets very sore veryeasily when I am gagged.
And now even worse, because Iknow this about myself if
someone is going to gag me, ittriggers this kind of anxiety
(03:17):
beforehand, right.
And so I'm even less likely tobe able to enjoy being gagged
because I am creating thisself-fulfilling prophecy of
what's going to come.
So, even though my early historywas very much about bondage and
all forms and all intensities,and although I've spent a lot of
time gagged, and although, yeah, I like gags Gags are great who
(03:39):
doesn't like a gag?
But I've never had the samepassion for gagged as I had for
bound.
If we think of bound and gaggedas a set unit, I was always
better on the bound side thanthe gagged side, and that really
comes down to my anatomy.
Similarly, I mean as a dominantperson now, I don't use gags a
(04:00):
lot, and it's curious now thatI'm actually saying all this out
loud, I'm wondering if I'm nottaking my own partial dislike of
gags and then reprojecting thatout as a dominant person.
I don't think so.
I think it's really more aboutthe fact that I am a very verbal
person and I like verbalinterchanges with the person I
am using, because a lot of myplay is about getting inside the
(04:24):
head and I like to use a mouthin many ways.
I like to kiss and I like toput things in mouths and if
there's a gag in your mouth I'mnot going to be able to do that.
So I actually have theplayrooms well equipped.
I have several gags but theydon't get used a lot and
generally it really kind ofrequires a boy who wants to be
(04:48):
gagged.
Gagging is rarely my go-to Likeoh, I don't just pull a gag out
of the supply closet and go atit, and that's really, in a
nutshell, my experience withgags top and bottom.
I was like and that's really,in a nutshell, my experience
with gags top and bottom.
I was like well, you know,that's not my most passionate
(05:15):
passion, even though it occupiesa central territory within what
was once my primary fetish.
But yeah, I'm like okay withgags.
I'm okay with gags.
Now I'm kind of wondering wouldI let someone gag me?
Now?
You know that the idea of mesubmitting to someone feels far
away.
I think it would have to be avery specific kind of person
with a very specific aestheticand stylization and presence and
(05:39):
power.
And yeah, I suppose if I foundthat person, then I don't mind
having a saw, a jaw, a sore jaw,if that person wanted me to be
gagged.
But in general I think myhistory with gags is history and
I think my future with gags isif a boy needs to be gagged I
will gag him.
But you know, it's interesting.
We'll see how things shift.
(05:59):
Like I've discovered a lot of.
I've rediscovered fetishes.
Just recently I rediscoveredsome toys that I hadn't used in
(06:33):
a while.
The whole center point of myplay has often shifted.
I used to be very into bondage.
That used to be the center.
Cigars used to's not linear.
So maybe I'll be all about gagsat some point.
We will find out.
But that's my story about meand gags.
You know I'm very much about thesort of deep psychology of the
things we do as kinkstersbecause, practically speaking,
I'm an overthinker and so beforewe get into the sort of
logistics of gags, let's thinkabout why.
Why do we use gags?
And the first reason why isbecause it is, culturally
(06:58):
speaking, part and parcel of thebondage experience.
We don't just talk about peoplebeing bound, we talk about
people being bound and gagged.
The big fetish porn magazine ofbondage when I was growing up
was not called Bound, it wascalled Bound and Gagged.
And in popular culture when wesee images of the hero, the
(07:21):
hero's rarely just bound, thehero is bound and gagged.
So this becomes a sort of setexperience.
These two things are yokedtogether and because they then
infiltrate our subconsciousminds, our desires, our early
thoughts when we latch ontocertain fetishes, that these two
remain yoked together for a lotof people in their erotic
(07:44):
imaginary.
So there is that kind ofpsychological, pre-psychological
right.
It's not even something you'rereally thinking about, it's just
something a kind of setcultural expectation that comes
that has to do with being boundin gag.
But there are a lot of otherreasons we use them that are a
little more practical.
Gags are really good for volumecontrol a little more practical
(08:07):
.
Gags are really good for volumecontrol If you're in a space
where you need to be mindful ofhow loud you can get because of
your neighbors, or if you have aperson you're playing with and
they're self-conscious andconcerned about being too loud,
then obviously a gag can bereally useful for that, because
it is good at muffling speechand sound.
Gag can be really useful forthat because it is good at
(08:28):
muffling speech and soundReturning a little bit more to
the psychological, what I thinkis that gags are really good at
dehumanizing.
We tend to think of speech andcommunication as uniquely human
trait, so that when you takethat away from someone, you turn
them into more of an object andfor some men that
objectification, thatdehumanization is really hot.
(08:48):
They become this thing, theybecome this it, they become this
object to be used andcontrolled.
So that's one thing that gagscan obviously do.
Related to that is issues ofcontrol.
Right, if I'm the dominantperson and I'm taking control of
you, part of what I'm going tocontrol is your speech, and
sometimes that happens throughprotocol, through my
(09:09):
expectations of how you're goingto address me, what you're
going to say when you're goingto say it.
But also controlling whether ornot you can speak at all is
very powerful.
So if I am silencing you I'mmaking air quotes, silencing you
with a gag that I'm controllingyour speech in a very powerful
way that really reinforces thedominant submissive dynamic that
(09:30):
we're working on For some men,again, switching from the
psychological to anotherregister, probably the more
corporeal people really enjoythe feeling of fullness in the
mouth.
Feeling of fullness in the mouth, or, if it's a gag that's like
a tape gag that goes around themouth, then they enjoy the
visual impact, the smoothness.
(09:52):
So there are sensory elementsto being gagged that have to do
with that fullness of the mouth,that sort of being filled with
something that has a lot ofdeep-seated, satisfying
resonances for people.
Or if it's a gag that goesaround the mouth, like a tape
gag or a cloth gag wrappedaround the mouth, then it's
(10:14):
about that smoothness, which isanother kind of visual register.
I will say that, connected tocontrol, connected to
humanization, connected to allthese things we're saying, gags
are also really good atactivating or reinforcing
headspace.
If you need someone totransition into submission, gag
can be an important part of thatkind of ritualistic transition.
(10:36):
And related to some of thethings we were just talking
about are the visual aspects,Like a gag can look really hot
and that goes all the way backto the part and parcel, the
bondage experience, that it is ahot look to be bound in gag.
It also has to do with thatsort of the sensory inputs that
(10:58):
you get from being gagged.
It can be really hot for eitherparty to look at it.
I also, you know, when I didthis content on the social.
Someone said they like usinggags to train a gag reflex, and
I suppose that is entirelypossible.
That's not a purpose I've usedbecause I feel like that has a
little bit more risk involved,and we'll talk about that in a
second.
But there are any number ofreasons why to use a gag, and
(11:20):
some of them are purelypsychological, in terms of
really getting someone into acertain headspace of submission,
of being controlled, of beingobjectified.
Some of them are very sensoryand corporeal, in terms of
feelings of fullness or thisvisual aspect or the smoothness,
and some of them are reallypractical, if you think about
(11:41):
something like controllingsomeone's volume within a scene.
And those are all the reasonswhy gags are appealing and why
we use them.
So let's think about the typesof gags Now.
The truth is that anything youcan put in or around the mouth
is functionally a gag, and thatincludes parts of the body such
(12:04):
as hands, feet, genitals,including cock, including balls,
butt.
It includes items of clothing,including smelly socks, dirty
jocks, filthy underwear, hankies, gloves, ties.
But as fetishists, we have sortof created certain kinds of
(12:28):
gags.
One of them is a bit gag, andthis is a sort of I don't know
how to explain it, it is a bar.
It is a bar that is oftenrubber, can be metal, can be
leather, but it really comesfrom an equestrian context.
The bit gag is the part of abridle.
It comes from the bit that thehorse would bite down as part of
(12:50):
the bridle.
That is part of controlling thehorse.
So these gags are really easyto find and they're not as
effective at actually being gagsbecause they don't really fill
a lot of the mouth.
It's like biting down on astick really.
But big gags I find reallyuseful for drooling and
(13:11):
production of a lot of saliva.
I find that those tend tocreate a lot of saliva.
The other kind of gag that wehave invented as fetishists is
the ball gag, which is literallywhat it sounds like.
You take a ball, you put a holethrough it, put a string
through that and there you havea ball gag, and these will come
in all colors, all sizes.
The ball may be made ofdifferent materials.
(13:32):
The strap may be locking,leather, cord, nylon, all sorts
of options.
There as well, ball gags arefairly effective and really are
resonant.
I think they've operated morein popular culture and therefore
tend to be a little moreresonant, and they are also very
good at producing a lot ofsaliva.
(13:53):
Finally, we have the plug gag,and this is kind of what it says
.
It's a gag where there's a sortof plug, and these are often
going to be penis-shaped andsometimes it's just like a round
piece of leather withleather-covered foam or
something like that.
But the idea is that it's aplug that fills your mouth.
(14:16):
It plugs your mouth.
It's not that complicated.
Those are the sort of threemain fetish categories for gags
sort of three main fetishcategories for gags.
When I posted this series onthe socials, one person did
point out that pacifiers areanother option, although that's
probably more in the ABDLcommunity.
The other thing is that there isa new kind of luxe miracle gag,
(14:39):
and I'm pretty sure I alwaysget the pronunciation wrong
because even though they createda great product, I don't know
if they created the best namefor it.
I think it is pronouncedSilensilicon.
I always called it Silensicon,but I think it's actually
Silensilicon and these are soldon Etsy, but I do think they
(15:03):
started on Etsy.
They do have their own websitenow and they're not cheap, but
essentially it is siliconemolded to a mouth and there's an
actual insert.
You insert your tongue into acentral portion.
This is an amazingly effectivegag because it really does
entirely fill your mouth in avery comfortable way.
(15:24):
It really does entirely fillyour mouth in a very comfortable
way.
I tried one.
I was playing with a guy whohad one.
I tried it.
It's hot.
The one he had interestinglydidn't have any strap, it was
just sort of the gag portion.
So I mean you could literallyopen your mouth and spit it out.
I do think that now they havegags with straps and then
obviously, if you were to havethe one without the strap, you
(15:46):
could do some sort of cloth ortape covering around the mouth
to hold it in.
They're not cheap, but they areincredibly effective,
incredibly sexy and incrediblycomfortable.
So I think Silicone, if I ampronouncing that right I think
they are really positioningthemselves as the kind of Rolls
(16:09):
Royce of gags.
I'm just sort of suggestingthat I don't know, I need to get
one.
I need to get one, but they'repricey, but I need to get one.
It's also worth noting we'vebeen really focusing on gags
that go inside the mouth but, asI've referenced a couple of
times, there are gags that alsogo around the mouth and some
(16:30):
people have a very specificfetish about tape gags,
specifically duct tape.
Now, I think for them, part ofthe fetish is the ASMR-like
sound of ripping duct tape fromthe roll.
It has a very specificfrequency and vibration that I
think resonates for people on anerotic level.
(16:52):
However, duct tape, even thoughit sounds great coming off the
roll, even though there is awhole sub-fetish around duct
tape duct tape is not reallymade for skin, certainly not
made for mustaches or beards,because it is incredibly sticky.
(17:13):
It is incredibly sticky and soyou don't want to put duct tape
directly on mustaches, beards orskin.
When I queried people on thesocials about this, I had a lot
of really good responses.
One person talked aboutfreezing the duct tape to reduce
the tackiness, but in general,what people talked about is
doing a layer of a sports tapeor a microphone tape or a layer
(17:36):
of cloth and then putting theduct tape over that, so that you
get the full visual impact ofthe smooth, shiny duct tape.
You get the audio sensory ofthe ripping of the duct tape,
but you don't have to deal withthe damage it will do to skin or
hair.
That's also to say, then, thatalthough people also have a very
(17:57):
specific duct tape fetish.
Many other tapes that are lesssticky are used, including
sports tape.
Some people use what's sold asbondage tape.
There's microphone tape,there's gaffer's tape Someone
had mentioned a kind of clearvinyl splicing tape, I think.
And then, in addition to allthese tapes, there are wraps.
(18:18):
Vet Wrap is really good becauseit's very porous and it sticks
to itself.
It comes in all kinds of colorsand it's a little bit like an
ace bandage, but not quite aselastic, but very effective at
wrapping.
In fact, it's really great formummification as well.
So there are lots of ways toget these smooth around the
mouth, look that don't requireduct tape.
(18:40):
There are lots of other kindsof tapes and there are lots of
other kinds of cloth you can use.
Oh, it's also worth mentioningthat a lot of these sound really
expensive, especially withsomething like silicone.
But I think one of the hottestgags is I take my hanky out of
my back pocket, I tie a knot inthe middle of it and then I
(19:04):
stick it in your mouth.
Hankies really make fantasticgags.
I tie a knot in the middle ofit and then I stick it in your
mouth.
Hankies, really make fantasticgags.
I will say that.
So also don't feel like youneed to invest tons of money.
The nice thing because you canuse almost anything as a gag,
particularly items of clothing.
That means you probably arewalking around with several gags
on you at any point in time and, just as some people really
(19:27):
clue into the duct tape as asub-fetish, you're going to find
people who have a crossoverright, so they're really into
feet and socks, so a dirty sockgag is going to do something for
them.
They're really into sports gear, so a jock gag is really going
to do something for them.
They're really into suits, sohaving a tie as a gag is really
going to do something for them.
They're really into suits, sohaving a tie as a gag is really
(19:47):
going to do something for them.
So that there are other ways tosort of incorporate very
affordable.
You know these are gags youalready have in your closet
probably, but also have specificextra resonances for people
based on their other fetishes.
So you know you don't have tospend a lot of money if you wear
the same pair of socks for aweek.
In fact, that is going to be abetter gag for a foot fetishist
(20:11):
than a ball gag, which isn'tgoing to have an erotic
resonance for the foot fetishist.
So those are some of the typesof gags and I really don't think
this is even an exhaustive list.
I'm sure there are many othersand I hope some people will
point them out to me and I'll doan update on another episode.
Now, how do you use a gag?
You put it in or around themouth.
(20:33):
I mean, basically that's whatyou do To use a gag.
You put it in.
However, there's using a gagand then there's using a gag.
So there are a lot of ways toheighten the eroticism based on
how you put in the gag or whatyou do once the gag is in.
One of my favorites, eventhough I don't gag people a lot,
(20:54):
but when I do, what I always dois I have the gag in one hand
it's usually a plug gag with alittle penis plug and I kiss
them passionately, we make out,we make out and then, as I pull
my tongue out, the gag goesdirectly in and I love that
transition from the eroticism ofthe kiss, which is intimate and
tender, to the hard control ofbeing gagged, and I think it's
(21:17):
really hot.
I rarely lock on a gag, butsimilarly, if I have someone
lock on a gag, I will put thelock through the hasp and I will
have them close it as a way ofsignifying their greater
submission to me.
You can do other things Like.
You can try to make them speakwith a gag.
You know, I will do things likewell, if you don't want me to
(21:38):
beat the crap out of you, youjust have to say blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, right,and then they try so hard to say
that and then we all laugh.
It's lots of fun and you canmake them drool with the gag.
You can really heighten up someof the aspects.
So if it's really about theobjectification, you can really
heighten that up.
If it's really about volumecontrol, you can heighten that
(21:58):
up.
You can lean into the gagthrough these different methods.
That really places the gag alittle more centrally in their
erotic imagination at thatmoment in time In general.
Here's the thing I would say,though.
We think gags are about keepingpeople quiet, but in truth it's
anything but Like.
(22:18):
For me, the point of a gag isnot for you to be quiet, but for
you to make sound, because whenyou are gagged, the moans and
the grunts that are muffled arejust deeply, deeply, arousingly,
stimulatingly erotic.
So keep in mind, the wholepoint of being gagged is not to
(22:43):
be quiet.
The whole point of being gaggedis to make really sexy sounds
and those become really sexy forboth parties.
So if the person being gaggedhas thoughts of being
dehumanized or objectified,their moaning, groaning,
whatever, reinforces for themthat they can't speak like a
human anymore.
For the person who's doing thegagging it's just hot.
(23:04):
It's hot to hear someone havethese muffled groaning, moaning
sounds are just hot.
That's all I'm going to say.
So using a gag logistically isas simple as putting it in or
around the mouth.
But using it in the scene isreally about leaning into those
aspects of the gag that are mosterotically resonant for the
(23:26):
parties involved.
So let's think about safety.
Now.
Gags are pretty safe, right,we're gagged all the time.
So I know of no cases in my 35years of playing.
I know of no cases wheresomeone died from being gagged.
Now I know people who died frombeing bound, gagged, and then
(23:50):
the intersection of drugs andthe intersection of being left
alone.
I know a lot of people who havedied while playing by
themselves.
So the risk factors have alwaysbeen incorporation of drugs in
the scene or playing all byyourself.
Those are the highest riskfactors, not gags.
Generally speaking, I've never,ever heard of anyone die from
being gagged.
That's not to say there are notsafety concerns for us to be
(24:13):
mindful of, and mindfulness isgoing to be the big theme as we
go through these.
Generally speaking, there arefour big areas of safety you
want to be aware of or mindfulof Vomiting, breathing, saliva
soreness.
Vomiting is probably thegreatest risk.
(24:35):
So if we're thinking about agag, which is either keeping the
mouth closed, if it's a gagthat goes around the mouth, or
is filling the mouth, if it's agag that goes in the mouth, then
if the person who is gaggedvomits, that vomitus does not
have an easy exit and there's amuch greater risk of aspiration,
(24:55):
which means that the vomitusgets into the lungs.
If that happens, that can bereally damaging and possibly
life-threatening.
So the greatest risk possibleis that you have someone gagged
and they vomit and that vomitends up in the lungs.
There are ways to minimize thisrisk.
(25:17):
Obviously, you want to not playwith someone when they're
feeling nauseous.
You want to make sure that youcheck in with them before you
gag them about their overallphysical body state and you also
want to be thinking aboutpositioning.
So the most dangerous positionwhen it comes to something like
this, if you have them gaggedand laying on their back,
(25:38):
because then gravity is nothelping.
If you have them laying ontheir stomach, if you have them
sitting up, then if the vomitous, if they do vomit, some of that
vomit can come out the nose, itcan come out around the sides
of the gag.
I know this doesn't soundpretty, but it is very practical
.
But if they're on their backand gagged it's a much, much
greater risk that the aspirationis going to occur.
(25:59):
The other thing that's going tobe really important in
mitigating this risk is to havesome sort of signal, nonverbal
signal, that the person beinggagged can use to indicate, hey,
something's wrong.
So if they start to feelnauseous, they can give this
signal.
But also if they start to haveany other problems in the scene,
you might use a hand signal,might use a foot signal,
(26:19):
whatever it is.
Obviously it can't be verbalbecause they're gagged, but it's
a way of alerting you beforethis problem becomes a problem.
Now again, I don't know of.
I've never heard of a case ofsomeone actually aspirating
because they were gagged, butmaybe that's because, as
kinksters, many of us or all ofus know that this is a danger
(26:41):
and we remain mindful of it.
So I'm giving it to you so thatyou may remain mindful of it.
Breathing Nasal passages arefunny.
They like to block themselvesrandomly at any point in time,
and if a person is gagged andtheir nasal passages become
stuffy or blocked, thenbreathing is going to be more
(27:06):
challenging.
I don't really think someone'sgoing to suffocate, like not be
able to breathe at all, becauseyou can always breathe some
around a gag.
You can always breathe someeven if your nose is stuffy.
However, I do think that whathappens is if you're having
trouble breathing because youare gagged and your nose is
stopped up, then you risk a kindof panic, because if you feel
(27:30):
like you can't breathe, that canbecome a panic situation, and
we never want panic in a scenebecause it increases the risk of
someone harming themselves orothers.
Not just that they could harmthemselves, they could harm me
when I go in to try to help them.
So in the old days, back when Iwas a bondage bottom, we used to
(27:50):
use Afrin, which is a nasalspray, to make sure our passages
were clear before going into abondage scene.
Now, that's not really a greatstrategy, because nasal sprays
have a rebound effect and,depending on how long the scene
is and how long it's lasting,you could actually end up a
little bit more stuffed up thanyou started.
But it was certainly somethingwe thought about is what I will
(28:12):
say, and this is again a placewhere positioning matters.
So if you have someone justlike, the most dangerous way to
keep someone gagged when itcomes to vomit risk is on their
back.
The most dangerous way to keepsomeone gagged when we think
about breathing issues is havingthem on their stomach.
In general, if you have someonein a hog tie or just tied down
(28:32):
on their stomach, anything wheretheir body weight is on their
chest, that means the diaphragm,which is the muscle which
allows us to breathe, now has toessentially lift the entire
body in order to get air intothe lungs.
So if it's doing that work andthen, on top of that, you're
gagged and your nose is stuffy,then there's a much greater risk
for serious problems.
(28:53):
So be mindful of positions whenpeople are gagged.
If they're on the back, beextra careful about vomitus.
If they're on their stomach, beextra careful about breathing
problems as part of this, let mesay that at this stage of my
life I would never leave someonegagged overnight, and that's me
.
I know there are people wholove it.
(29:15):
In fact I have friends whoactually love being hooded,
sleep sack, gagged, thrown in acloset and left overnight, and
that's great for them.
For me that doesn't work.
I have very different risktolerance at this age and there
are ways to minimize concerns ifsomeone is gagged overnight,
(29:38):
including using a gag which hasa tube in it through the center
so that there's still thefeeling of fullness in the mouth
, there's still volume control,there's still the inhibition of
speech, but there is also aclear breathing passage through
the mouth in case the nosebecomes stopped up.
And you can use, obviously, ababy monitor for them to try to
(29:59):
get your attention.
I'm a pretty deep sleeper.
I don't know if they'd be ableto get my attention, but there
are ways to mitigate those risksand that's okay and if people
are really into it, I certainlyhope you pursue it with an
awareness of the risk.
But for me I'm just notinterested in keeping someone
gagged overnight, in partbecause I'm not really
interested in keeping someonegagged.
I should probably note that.
(30:20):
So the next issue besidesvomitus and breathing is saliva,
and this is an issue that goesboth ways, depending on the gag
and depending on the body.
You might either end up withtoo much saliva or not enough.
Now, too much saliva is hot,right, like people are going to
be drooling.
We love that being drool, drool, drool.
You can do a lot of stuff withthe drool.
You can use it as lube.
(30:40):
You can just sort of do a lotof stuff with drool.
However, there is a possibilityif they're doing a lot of
drooling, they can end upchoking on their saliva
Increasingly.
I choke on my own saliva, justlike walking down the street,
and so it's totally.
It happens, right, it happenseven when I'm not gagging.
This isn't necessarilylife-threatening, but it could
(31:02):
be a little panic-inducing.
It would cause a lot ofcoughing.
That could be not great whensomeone's gagged.
So again, be mindful ofposition that have them in a
position where the drool canmore easily flow out, whether
that's seated slightly leaningforward.
That would reduce thepossibility of them being able
(31:22):
to choke on that saliva.
All the saliva in the mouth andanything porous, including
certain foams, but anything madeout of cloth bandanas, socks,
jockstraps, underwear, all ofthat.
Now that will lead to a verydry mouth which can be very
(31:45):
uncomfortable.
It's not really a health riskor safety risk as much as
someone's not going to be ableto be gagged for as long if
their mouth is entirely dry andthen, like your mouth, sticks to
the gag, it just becomesuncomfortable.
It is just not good at all.
Now, for many gags, what youcan do is pre-moisten them with
(32:06):
a quote-unquote fluid of yourchoice.
So classically, for example,the bandana gag, I would take
the bandana, cut out my backpocket, tie a knot in the middle
and then moisten it with thefluid of my choice.
Before I used to get in theirmouth and tie a knot in the back
.
So if you have it pre-moistened, then it really sort of
mitigates a lot of those issues.
(32:28):
All right, so the next issue ismuscle soreness, and again, this
is not life-threatening either,but keep in mind that,
depending on someone's anatomythat a gag, and depending on the
size of the gag, depending ontheir anatomy, depending on how
much sleep they've had that day,that their jaw can get very,
very sore if it's beingessentially pried open for a
(32:49):
significant amount of time.
As I mentioned in the opening.
This is a big one for me.
This is a big one for me.
I grind my teeth at night,which means I have these weirdly
overdeveloped jaw muscles andthen having them stretched by a
gag in my mouth.
It can be a lot.
So not a huge safety risk, butsomething to be mindful of.
(33:10):
So let's review there are fourareas of safety concern.
So let's review there are fourareas of safety concern, four
primary areas of safety concernwhen it comes to gags, vomit,
breathing, saliva and musclesoreness, and those are actually
in order of severity.
The most severe issue you canencounter is someone who vomits
while gagged.
The next level of severity issomeone who's having breathing
(33:32):
issues and then saliva issuesand then soreness.
Generally speaking, I don'tthink you're going to have
someone seriously harmed bybeing gagged, but part of that
is because you now know of someof the risks and can think about
(33:52):
how to mitigate them throughpositioning person in a certain
way, by signaling, bypreventatives and being really
watchful of some of these thingsthat could happen.
Final note about safety We'vetalked about putting a gag in a
mouth.
We've talked about putting agag around a mouth.
Critically, you never put gagsin the throat.
(34:16):
Now this is primarily an issuewith something like a sock or
any sort of cloth gag that youthink is going to be hot.
To just shove and shove andstuff and stuff and stuff into
their mouth, into their mouth isgreat.
If you stuff it and it goesinto their throat, not only
could it trigger this gag reflex, which then you have all the
vomitous issues, but if you getanything stuffed into the throat
(34:37):
, that person is going tosuffocate and die.
So gags go in the mouth, not inthe throat.
A couple other sort of finalnotes about gags in general, and
these are a little bit morepersonal for me.
So a couple of times I've beenplaying with a boy.
I had him gagged and he pushedthe gag out with his you know.
(34:58):
He, like opened his mouth widerand pushed the gag out to say
something to me.
I'm going to ask you, pleasedon't do this, don't do this.
There are very good reasons topush the gag out in a scene If
there is an emergency, if youhave an emergency concern about
your safety, or if the personwho gagged you is violating
(35:20):
limits, or you have toimmediately communicate to them
some pressing health concernlike oh my God, I'm going to
puke.
I need to take this gag out.
Great, push the gag out, but inthe normal course of a scene.
Please, please, do not push thegag out.
For me, as a dominant person,it is deeply deflating because
it is a rejection of my control.
(35:41):
It shatters the illusion andthe fantasy of the control I
have over you In general.
If you're playing with me, keepthis in mind.
If I put it on, I take it off.
If I put it in, I take it out.
If I put it on, I take it off.
If I put it in, I take it out.
So, unless it's an emergency,please, please, don't break the
illusion by pushing a gag out.
Wait for me to take the gag out.
(36:02):
Try to speak, indicate point atyour mouth, whatever, so that I
know you need the gag out.
But please, please, don't, ohmy God, and never, ever reach up
and take the gag off yourself,Please.
That would be really earthshattering to me and we will
probably not play again simplybecause I feel like that's such
(36:22):
an impolite thing to do Again.
If it's an emergency, lots ofgood cause to do that.
If it's not an emergency, not agood cause.
The last thing I'll say aboutgags is gags are not required.
They are not required.
So if you're not into gags,that absolutely has zero impact
on your identity and validity asa kinky person.
As I've said a few times, Idon't tend to use gags.
(36:46):
I don't tend to like thembecause I like mouths and I like
to use mouths.
However, I played with a coupleof boys who feel more empowered
to be loud if they are gagged.
Now, to be clear, my playroomis fairly soundproof.
I've got a couple neighbors,but I mean it's like concrete
walls and cinderblock walls, andthen the neighbors I do have
(37:08):
really aren't home a whole lot.
So I have a pretty soundproofplace and the boys I play with
know this.
So I have a pretty soundproofplace and the boys I play with
know this.
But there's something aboutbeing gagged that gives them
permission to be loud in a waythat me telling them, me giving
them permission to be loud, doesnot work.
Them being gagged, that works.
(37:29):
So if you're not into gags,that's okay.
No-transcript.
(38:02):
Since I have a little bit oftime left in this episode and
since I'm not really doinginterludes per se anymore, I
thought I'd take a moment tojust sort of talk about a little
bit of what's going on in mylife, some of the big things for
me.
I've been doing yoga.
(38:23):
Now this I've been embracing asa healing modality because of
some other stuff I discoveredI'm not even talking about
physically healing, but I'm justtalking about some sort of deep
healing, and so I really cameto yoga as a form of healing,
but it's also just good as abody practice.
(38:44):
I think it enhances myweightlifting, I think it
enhances my posture, my overallhealth and well-being, and so
I've been doing yoga.
The other thing which I thinkpeople would find really
surprising is I've started doinghand embroidery.
I was looking for a newjoy-making skill and in the
playroom here I have severalpieces of art on the art wall
(39:07):
that are actually embroidery andthey're so hyper-masculine and
they're so hot and they're sobeautiful and I always loved
this combination of a very sortof traditionally feminine art
form embroidery with these veryhyper masculine images.
And so I got to a point of somuch boredom and so much desire
(39:27):
for joy making that I orderedsome basic embroidery stuff from
Amazon and I started doing it.
You know the challenge for mehas been from Amazon and I've
started doing it.
You know the challenge for mehas been I was able to do one
piece that I'm just thrilledwith.
I gave it as a as a gift.
The only way I've been reallyable to make these patterns is
by tracing, using my iPad aslike a light box.
So there's a photo I put on theiPad, I put a piece of fabric
(39:50):
over it and I trace the part Iwant to embroider and that's
just not.
It's not giving me the level ofdetail I need.
So I did this one piece.
That's really beautiful and Ihave ideas for other pieces, but
I've not been able to reallynail the pattern.
So I'm going to have to lookinto.
There are a couple other waysto get to a pattern, to move
from photo to pattern and handembroidery, and I'm going to
(40:12):
have to explore some of those.
The third piece of news in myworld is I got new langlets.
I have a pair of bluecompetition breeches with yellow
stripes which really fit mebetter, I think, than my
original competition breeches,which is good and bad.
Like it fits this body better.
This body is sort of on thelean side, so if we do some of
(40:35):
my usual little weight gain,those breaches may be out of
reach.
My original pair of competitionbreaches are just kind of a
little more forgiving of my bodyfluctuations.
That's what I would say.
I also got a new jacket, asidewinder, and my jewelry is
still a little out on it.
I love the jacket and I gotcontrast stitching on all the
(40:56):
quilting.
It looks really amazing.
But it feels like the jacket'sa little big and I'm not
entirely sure about that.
I'm not entirely sure about it.
Some people I've shown they'relike wow, that looks great.
A couple of people whose eye Ireally trust are like did you
get that custom Because it looksbig?
I'm like oh my God, that'sright.
(41:17):
Right the day I got it I calledLanglitz I think it was a
little big and they're like youknow what, wear it.
Wear it with a sweatshirt, asin.
That's something I'm going todo as a leather man all the time
.
But they said look, we canalways alter it later, so that
may end up being altered.
Beyond that I have been.
(41:37):
What have I been doing?
I've been hanging on to hope inmy really difficult journey of
finding a boyfriend.
I'm not going to go into that awhole lot.
I really kind of made adecision to not talk a lot about
my dating in any of my media,except to say that it remains a
(41:58):
goal for me to find a boyfriendlocally, someone I can actually
spend time with, can wake upwith, can build a life with and
I talked to some men who are allover the world but logistically
that's just it's not going tobe possible.
It's just not going to bepossible as a dating situation
and I try to keep mindful ofthat and then I run away with
(42:20):
this fantasy of anyway I'm notgoing to get too deeply into
that, but it comes down to that.
I'm hanging on to hope and I'vehad a couple of encounters that
have sort of allowed that hopeto kind of glow and it's given,
breathed a little bit ofvitality into my hope, and then
(42:41):
I've had some encounters thathave really kind of really
darkened the hope.
So I share that.
Also to say this in myexperience dating sucks.
It doesn't matter who you are,it doesn't matter where you live
, it doesn't matter how old youare, it doesn't matter how many
muscles you have, it doesn'tmatter how good you look, it
(43:01):
doesn't matter what job you have, it doesn't matter.
None of that matters.
The whole process of dating ishorrible for everyone and I am
just sort of affirming that it'shorrible for me and I hope it's
horrible for you too, becauseotherwise that means there's
something wrong with me.
So I'm going to hold on to thefact that my dating experience
(43:24):
is horrible and I hope yourdating experience is horrible
too, and that sounds horribleand I'm going to acknowledge it
sounds horrible, and I'm goingto stop all the horribleness.
Right now I'm going to be goingto Palm Springs Leather Pride
in October for my birthday.
My birthday is actually theFriday of Palm Springs Leather
Pride.
I've never been to Palm Springs.
(43:45):
Therefore, I've also never beento Palm Springs Leather Pride.
I'm very excited to see thecity and to meet all these
people at a leather event, whicheveryone has told me is just
really amazing and fantastic inevery way.
So if you're going, look for me, I'll be in town, I'll be
around.
I'm going to be arriving theWednesday, october 29th and
leaving Monday, November 3rd.
(44:07):
So those are all the news andnotes from my world.
I hope all of you are having areally good summer and hey look,
we have a second episode of thepodcast.
That's pretty cool.
So have a very blessed leatherjourney, my friends.
And that's it for this episode.
(44:27):
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Please consider subscribing, oryou can send feedback to edge
at full cow dot show, as always.
May your leather journey beblessed.
Let's talk about gags , that you are an adult.
Welcome to Full Cow, a podcastabout leather kink and BDSM.
(00:42):
My name is Edge, my pronounsare he, him, and I'm your host.
In this episode we're going tobe thinking about gags.
Now, in some ways, this is kindof revisiting the earlier
episode we did on bondage.
But, to be honest, someone onTwitter I don't call it that
someone on Twitter had asked meto do a video series on gags and
(01:04):
I finally got around to doingthat.
I'm like, oh, this is actuallypretty good content.
Let me just make a podcastepisode about that.
So this is sort of a bonus-ykind of episode to the podcast
driven by my other social mediawork.
So I'm hoping you enjoy it.
And because it's this sort ofbonus episode and because I just
recently did the first episodeof the fourth season, this is
(01:29):
kind of it.
I don't have any other segmentsplanned.
No one has sent in questionsfor Ask Edge, so we're really
just going to be talking aboutgags and I'll talk a little bit
about my own history with gagson top and bottom, and then
we'll go deeply into everythingI know about gags which isn't
everything to be known aboutgags on top and bottom and then
we'll go deeply into everythingI know about gags, which isn't
everything to be known aboutgags, but perhaps will give you
(01:50):
a starting point.
So you know, usually I say, wow, that's a really great episode,
let's get started.
I don't know, I think this is apretty good episode and I'll
let you be the judge, but oneway or another we are going to
get started.
So here we go.
If you follow this podcast forany length of time, then you may
(02:13):
possibly recall that I startedmy kink journey in bondage.
I was a bondage boy, or perhapsmore accurately a bondage
bottom, and I was all about thebondage.
It was really, at that point,my only fetish or kink, and I
pursued it relentlessly and Ifound someone who was very good
(02:33):
at it and then I drowned in theexperience.
I just had as much of it as Icould take and then a little bit
more.
So as part of that, I've spenta lot of my early years gagged
with a variety of kinds of gagsand I will say part of me really
likes a gag because it feelspart of the bondage experience.
(02:56):
But I have a relatively smallmouth make of that as you will
and my jaw gets very sore veryeasily when I am gagged.
And now even worse, because Iknow this about myself if
someone is going to gag me, ittriggers this kind of anxiety
(03:17):
beforehand, right.
And so I'm even less likely tobe able to enjoy being gagged
because I am creating thisself-fulfilling prophecy of
what's going to come.
So, even though my early historywas very much about bondage and
all forms and all intensities,and although I've spent a lot of
time gagged, and although, yeah, I like gags Gags are great who
(03:39):
doesn't like a gag?
But I've never had the samepassion for gagged as I had for
bound.
If we think of bound and gaggedas a set unit, I was always
better on the bound side thanthe gagged side, and that really
comes down to my anatomy.
Similarly, I mean as a dominantperson now, I don't use gags a
(04:00):
lot, and it's curious now thatI'm actually saying all this out
loud, I'm wondering if I'm nottaking my own partial dislike of
gags and then reprojecting thatout as a dominant person.
I don't think so.
I think it's really more aboutthe fact that I am a very verbal
person and I like verbalinterchanges with the person I
am using, because a lot of myplay is about getting inside the
(04:24):
head and I like to use a mouthin many ways.
I like to kiss and I like toput things in mouths and if
there's a gag in your mouth I'mnot going to be able to do that.
So I actually have theplayrooms well equipped.
I have several gags but theydon't get used a lot and
generally it really kind ofrequires a boy who wants to be
(04:48):
gagged.
Gagging is rarely my go-to Likeoh, I don't just pull a gag out
of the supply closet and go atit, and that's really, in a
nutshell, my experience withgags top and bottom.
I was like and that's really,in a nutshell, my experience
with gags top and bottom.
I was like well, you know,that's not my most passionate
(05:15):
passion, even though it occupiesa central territory within what
was once my primary fetish.
But yeah, I'm like okay withgags.
I'm okay with gags.
Now I'm kind of wondering wouldI let someone gag me?
Now?
You know that the idea of mesubmitting to someone feels far
away.
I think it would have to be avery specific kind of person
with a very specific aestheticand stylization and presence and
(05:39):
power.
And yeah, I suppose if I foundthat person, then I don't mind
having a saw, a jaw, a sore jaw,if that person wanted me to be
gagged.
But in general I think myhistory with gags is history and
I think my future with gags isif a boy needs to be gagged I
will gag him.
But you know, it's interesting.
We'll see how things shift.
(05:59):
Like I've discovered a lot of.
I've rediscovered fetishes.
Just recently I rediscoveredsome toys that I hadn't used in
(06:33):
a while.
The whole center point of myplay has often shifted.
I used to be very into bondage.
That used to be the center.
Cigars used to's not linear.
So maybe I'll be all about gagsat some point.
We will find out.
But that's my story about meand gags.
You know I'm very much about thesort of deep psychology of the
things we do as kinkstersbecause, practically speaking,
I'm an overthinker and so beforewe get into the sort of
logistics of gags, let's thinkabout why.
Why do we use gags?
And the first reason why isbecause it is, culturally
(06:58):
speaking, part and parcel of thebondage experience.
We don't just talk about peoplebeing bound, we talk about
people being bound and gagged.
The big fetish porn magazine ofbondage when I was growing up
was not called Bound, it wascalled Bound and Gagged.
And in popular culture when wesee images of the hero, the
(07:21):
hero's rarely just bound, thehero is bound and gagged.
So this becomes a sort of setexperience.
These two things are yokedtogether and because they then
infiltrate our subconsciousminds, our desires, our early
thoughts when we latch ontocertain fetishes, that these two
remain yoked together for a lotof people in their erotic
(07:44):
imaginary.
So there is that kind ofpsychological, pre-psychological
right.
It's not even something you'rereally thinking about, it's just
something a kind of setcultural expectation that comes
that has to do with being boundin gag.
But there are a lot of otherreasons we use them that are a
little more practical.
Gags are really good for volumecontrol a little more practical
(08:07):
.
Gags are really good for volumecontrol If you're in a space
where you need to be mindful ofhow loud you can get because of
your neighbors, or if you have aperson you're playing with and
they're self-conscious andconcerned about being too loud,
then obviously a gag can bereally useful for that, because
it is good at muffling speechand sound.
Gag can be really useful forthat because it is good at
(08:28):
muffling speech and soundReturning a little bit more to
the psychological, what I thinkis that gags are really good at
dehumanizing.
We tend to think of speech andcommunication as uniquely human
trait, so that when you takethat away from someone, you turn
them into more of an object andfor some men that
objectification, thatdehumanization is really hot.
(08:48):
They become this thing, theybecome this it, they become this
object to be used andcontrolled.
So that's one thing that gagscan obviously do.
Related to that is issues ofcontrol.
Right, if I'm the dominantperson and I'm taking control of
you, part of what I'm going tocontrol is your speech, and
sometimes that happens throughprotocol, through my
(09:09):
expectations of how you're goingto address me, what you're
going to say when you're goingto say it.
But also controlling whether ornot you can speak at all is
very powerful.
So if I am silencing you I'mmaking air quotes, silencing you
with a gag that I'm controllingyour speech in a very powerful
way that really reinforces thedominant submissive dynamic that
(09:30):
we're working on For some men,again, switching from the
psychological to anotherregister, probably the more
corporeal people really enjoythe feeling of fullness in the
mouth.
Feeling of fullness in the mouth, or, if it's a gag that's like
a tape gag that goes around themouth, then they enjoy the
visual impact, the smoothness.
(09:52):
So there are sensory elementsto being gagged that have to do
with that fullness of the mouth,that sort of being filled with
something that has a lot ofdeep-seated, satisfying
resonances for people.
Or if it's a gag that goesaround the mouth, like a tape
gag or a cloth gag wrappedaround the mouth, then it's
(10:14):
about that smoothness, which isanother kind of visual register.
I will say that, connected tocontrol, connected to
humanization, connected to allthese things we're saying, gags
are also really good atactivating or reinforcing
headspace.
If you need someone totransition into submission, gag
can be an important part of thatkind of ritualistic transition.
(10:36):
And related to some of thethings we were just talking
about are the visual aspects,Like a gag can look really hot
and that goes all the way backto the part and parcel, the
bondage experience, that it is ahot look to be bound in gag.
It also has to do with thatsort of the sensory inputs that
(10:58):
you get from being gagged.
It can be really hot for eitherparty to look at it.
I also, you know, when I didthis content on the social.
Someone said they like usinggags to train a gag reflex, and
I suppose that is entirelypossible.
That's not a purpose I've usedbecause I feel like that has a
little bit more risk involved,and we'll talk about that in a
second.
But there are any number ofreasons why to use a gag, and
(11:20):
some of them are purelypsychological, in terms of
really getting someone into acertain headspace of submission,
of being controlled, of beingobjectified.
Some of them are very sensoryand corporeal, in terms of
feelings of fullness or thisvisual aspect or the smoothness,
and some of them are reallypractical, if you think about
(11:41):
something like controllingsomeone's volume within a scene.
And those are all the reasonswhy gags are appealing and why
we use them.
So let's think about the typesof gags Now.
The truth is that anything youcan put in or around the mouth
is functionally a gag, and thatincludes parts of the body such
(12:04):
as hands, feet, genitals,including cock, including balls,
butt.
It includes items of clothing,including smelly socks, dirty
jocks, filthy underwear, hankies, gloves, ties.
But as fetishists, we have sortof created certain kinds of
(12:28):
gags.
One of them is a bit gag, andthis is a sort of I don't know
how to explain it, it is a bar.
It is a bar that is oftenrubber, can be metal, can be
leather, but it really comesfrom an equestrian context.
The bit gag is the part of abridle.
It comes from the bit that thehorse would bite down as part of
(12:50):
the bridle.
That is part of controlling thehorse.
So these gags are really easyto find and they're not as
effective at actually being gagsbecause they don't really fill
a lot of the mouth.
It's like biting down on astick really.
But big gags I find reallyuseful for drooling and
(13:11):
production of a lot of saliva.
I find that those tend tocreate a lot of saliva.
The other kind of gag that wehave invented as fetishists is
the ball gag, which is literallywhat it sounds like.
You take a ball, you put a holethrough it, put a string
through that and there you havea ball gag, and these will come
in all colors, all sizes.
The ball may be made ofdifferent materials.
(13:32):
The strap may be locking,leather, cord, nylon, all sorts
of options.
There as well, ball gags arefairly effective and really are
resonant.
I think they've operated morein popular culture and therefore
tend to be a little moreresonant, and they are also very
good at producing a lot ofsaliva.
(13:53):
Finally, we have the plug gag,and this is kind of what it says
.
It's a gag where there's a sortof plug, and these are often
going to be penis-shaped andsometimes it's just like a round
piece of leather withleather-covered foam or
something like that.
But the idea is that it's aplug that fills your mouth.
(14:16):
It plugs your mouth.
It's not that complicated.
Those are the sort of threemain fetish categories for gags
sort of three main fetishcategories for gags.
When I posted this series onthe socials, one person did
point out that pacifiers areanother option, although that's
probably more in the ABDLcommunity.
The other thing is that there isa new kind of luxe miracle gag,
(14:39):
and I'm pretty sure I alwaysget the pronunciation wrong
because even though they createda great product, I don't know
if they created the best namefor it.
I think it is pronouncedSilensilicon.
I always called it Silensicon,but I think it's actually
Silensilicon and these are soldon Etsy, but I do think they
(15:03):
started on Etsy.
They do have their own websitenow and they're not cheap, but
essentially it is siliconemolded to a mouth and there's an
actual insert.
You insert your tongue into acentral portion.
This is an amazingly effectivegag because it really does
entirely fill your mouth in avery comfortable way.
(15:24):
It really does entirely fillyour mouth in a very comfortable
way.
I tried one.
I was playing with a guy whohad one.
I tried it.
It's hot.
The one he had interestinglydidn't have any strap, it was
just sort of the gag portion.
So I mean you could literallyopen your mouth and spit it out.
I do think that now they havegags with straps and then
obviously, if you were to havethe one without the strap, you
(15:46):
could do some sort of cloth ortape covering around the mouth
to hold it in.
They're not cheap, but they areincredibly effective,
incredibly sexy and incrediblycomfortable.
So I think Silicone, if I ampronouncing that right I think
they are really positioningthemselves as the kind of Rolls
(16:09):
Royce of gags.
I'm just sort of suggestingthat I don't know, I need to get
one.
I need to get one, but they'repricey, but I need to get one.
It's also worth noting we'vebeen really focusing on gags
that go inside the mouth but, asI've referenced a couple of
times, there are gags that alsogo around the mouth and some
(16:30):
people have a very specificfetish about tape gags,
specifically duct tape.
Now, I think for them, part ofthe fetish is the ASMR-like
sound of ripping duct tape fromthe roll.
It has a very specificfrequency and vibration that I
think resonates for people on anerotic level.
(16:52):
However, duct tape, even thoughit sounds great coming off the
roll, even though there is awhole sub-fetish around duct
tape duct tape is not reallymade for skin, certainly not
made for mustaches or beards,because it is incredibly sticky.
(17:13):
It is incredibly sticky and soyou don't want to put duct tape
directly on mustaches, beards orskin.
When I queried people on thesocials about this, I had a lot
of really good responses.
One person talked aboutfreezing the duct tape to reduce
the tackiness, but in general,what people talked about is
doing a layer of a sports tapeor a microphone tape or a layer
(17:36):
of cloth and then putting theduct tape over that, so that you
get the full visual impact ofthe smooth, shiny duct tape.
You get the audio sensory ofthe ripping of the duct tape,
but you don't have to deal withthe damage it will do to skin or
hair.
That's also to say, then, thatalthough people also have a very
(17:57):
specific duct tape fetish.
Many other tapes that are lesssticky are used, including
sports tape.
Some people use what's sold asbondage tape.
There's microphone tape,there's gaffer's tape Someone
had mentioned a kind of clearvinyl splicing tape, I think.
And then, in addition to allthese tapes, there are wraps.
(18:18):
Vet Wrap is really good becauseit's very porous and it sticks
to itself.
It comes in all kinds of colorsand it's a little bit like an
ace bandage, but not quite aselastic, but very effective at
wrapping.
In fact, it's really great formummification as well.
So there are lots of ways toget these smooth around the
mouth, look that don't requireduct tape.
(18:40):
There are lots of other kindsof tapes and there are lots of
other kinds of cloth you can use.
Oh, it's also worth mentioningthat a lot of these sound really
expensive, especially withsomething like silicone.
But I think one of the hottestgags is I take my hanky out of
my back pocket, I tie a knot inthe middle of it and then I
(19:04):
stick it in your mouth.
Hankies really make fantasticgags.
I tie a knot in the middle ofit and then I stick it in your
mouth.
Hankies, really make fantasticgags.
I will say that.
So also don't feel like youneed to invest tons of money.
The nice thing because you canuse almost anything as a gag,
particularly items of clothing.
That means you probably arewalking around with several gags
on you at any point in time and, just as some people really
(19:27):
clue into the duct tape as asub-fetish, you're going to find
people who have a crossoverright, so they're really into
feet and socks, so a dirty sockgag is going to do something for
them.
They're really into sports gear, so a jock gag is really going
to do something for them.
They're really into suits, sohaving a tie as a gag is really
going to do something for them.
They're really into suits, sohaving a tie as a gag is really
(19:47):
going to do something for them.
So that there are other ways tosort of incorporate very
affordable.
You know these are gags youalready have in your closet
probably, but also have specificextra resonances for people
based on their other fetishes.
So you know you don't have tospend a lot of money if you wear
the same pair of socks for aweek.
In fact, that is going to be abetter gag for a foot fetishist
(20:11):
than a ball gag, which isn'tgoing to have an erotic
resonance for the foot fetishist.
So those are some of the typesof gags and I really don't think
this is even an exhaustive list.
I'm sure there are many othersand I hope some people will
point them out to me and I'll doan update on another episode.
Now, how do you use a gag?
You put it in or around themouth.
(20:33):
I mean, basically that's whatyou do To use a gag.
You put it in.
However, there's using a gagand then there's using a gag.
So there are a lot of ways toheighten the eroticism based on
how you put in the gag or whatyou do once the gag is in.
One of my favorites, eventhough I don't gag people a lot,
(20:54):
but when I do, what I always dois I have the gag in one hand
it's usually a plug gag with alittle penis plug and I kiss
them passionately, we make out,we make out and then, as I pull
my tongue out, the gag goesdirectly in and I love that
transition from the eroticism ofthe kiss, which is intimate and
tender, to the hard control ofbeing gagged, and I think it's
(21:17):
really hot.
I rarely lock on a gag, butsimilarly, if I have someone
lock on a gag, I will put thelock through the hasp and I will
have them close it as a way ofsignifying their greater
submission to me.
You can do other things Like.
You can try to make them speakwith a gag.
You know, I will do things likewell, if you don't want me to
(21:38):
beat the crap out of you, youjust have to say blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, right,and then they try so hard to say
that and then we all laugh.
It's lots of fun and you canmake them drool with the gag.
You can really heighten up someof the aspects.
So if it's really about theobjectification, you can really
heighten that up.
If it's really about volumecontrol, you can heighten that
(21:58):
up.
You can lean into the gagthrough these different methods.
That really places the gag alittle more centrally in their
erotic imagination at thatmoment in time In general.
Here's the thing I would say,though.
We think gags are about keepingpeople quiet, but in truth it's
anything but Like.
(22:18):
For me, the point of a gag isnot for you to be quiet, but for
you to make sound, because whenyou are gagged, the moans and
the grunts that are muffled arejust deeply, deeply, arousingly,
stimulatingly erotic.
So keep in mind, the wholepoint of being gagged is not to
(22:43):
be quiet.
The whole point of being gaggedis to make really sexy sounds
and those become really sexy forboth parties.
So if the person being gaggedhas thoughts of being
dehumanized or objectified,their moaning, groaning,
whatever, reinforces for themthat they can't speak like a
human anymore.
For the person who's doing thegagging it's just hot.
(23:04):
It's hot to hear someone havethese muffled groaning, moaning
sounds are just hot.
That's all I'm going to say.
So using a gag logistically isas simple as putting it in or
around the mouth.
But using it in the scene isreally about leaning into those
aspects of the gag that are mosterotically resonant for the
(23:26):
parties involved.
So let's think about safety.
Now.
Gags are pretty safe, right,we're gagged all the time.
So I know of no cases in my 35years of playing.
I know of no cases wheresomeone died from being gagged.
Now I know people who died frombeing bound, gagged, and then
(23:50):
the intersection of drugs andthe intersection of being left
alone.
I know a lot of people who havedied while playing by
themselves.
So the risk factors have alwaysbeen incorporation of drugs in
the scene or playing all byyourself.
Those are the highest riskfactors, not gags.
Generally speaking, I've never,ever heard of anyone die from
being gagged.
That's not to say there are notsafety concerns for us to be
(24:13):
mindful of, and mindfulness isgoing to be the big theme as we
go through these.
Generally speaking, there arefour big areas of safety you
want to be aware of or mindfulof Vomiting, breathing, saliva
soreness.
Vomiting is probably thegreatest risk.
(24:35):
So if we're thinking about agag, which is either keeping the
mouth closed, if it's a gagthat goes around the mouth, or
is filling the mouth, if it's agag that goes in the mouth, then
if the person who is gaggedvomits, that vomitus does not
have an easy exit and there's amuch greater risk of aspiration,
(24:55):
which means that the vomitusgets into the lungs.
If that happens, that can bereally damaging and possibly
life-threatening.
So the greatest risk possibleis that you have someone gagged
and they vomit and that vomitends up in the lungs.
There are ways to minimize thisrisk.
(25:17):
Obviously, you want to not playwith someone when they're
feeling nauseous.
You want to make sure that youcheck in with them before you
gag them about their overallphysical body state and you also
want to be thinking aboutpositioning.
So the most dangerous positionwhen it comes to something like
this, if you have them gaggedand laying on their back,
(25:38):
because then gravity is nothelping.
If you have them laying ontheir stomach, if you have them
sitting up, then if the vomitous, if they do vomit, some of that
vomit can come out the nose, itcan come out around the sides
of the gag.
I know this doesn't soundpretty, but it is very practical
.
But if they're on their backand gagged it's a much, much
greater risk that the aspirationis going to occur.
(25:59):
The other thing that's going tobe really important in
mitigating this risk is to havesome sort of signal, nonverbal
signal, that the person beinggagged can use to indicate, hey,
something's wrong.
So if they start to feelnauseous, they can give this
signal.
But also if they start to haveany other problems in the scene,
you might use a hand signal,might use a foot signal,
(26:19):
whatever it is.
Obviously it can't be verbalbecause they're gagged, but it's
a way of alerting you beforethis problem becomes a problem.
Now again, I don't know of.
I've never heard of a case ofsomeone actually aspirating
because they were gagged, butmaybe that's because, as
kinksters, many of us or all ofus know that this is a danger
(26:41):
and we remain mindful of it.
So I'm giving it to you so thatyou may remain mindful of it.
Breathing Nasal passages arefunny.
They like to block themselvesrandomly at any point in time,
and if a person is gagged andtheir nasal passages become
stuffy or blocked, thenbreathing is going to be more
(27:06):
challenging.
I don't really think someone'sgoing to suffocate, like not be
able to breathe at all, becauseyou can always breathe some
around a gag.
You can always breathe someeven if your nose is stuffy.
However, I do think that whathappens is if you're having
trouble breathing because youare gagged and your nose is
stopped up, then you risk a kindof panic, because if you feel
(27:30):
like you can't breathe, that canbecome a panic situation, and
we never want panic in a scenebecause it increases the risk of
someone harming themselves orothers.
Not just that they could harmthemselves, they could harm me
when I go in to try to help them.
So in the old days, back when Iwas a bondage bottom, we used to
(27:50):
use Afrin, which is a nasalspray, to make sure our passages
were clear before going into abondage scene.
Now, that's not really a greatstrategy, because nasal sprays
have a rebound effect and,depending on how long the scene
is and how long it's lasting,you could actually end up a
little bit more stuffed up thanyou started.
But it was certainly somethingwe thought about is what I will
(28:12):
say, and this is again a placewhere positioning matters.
So if you have someone justlike, the most dangerous way to
keep someone gagged when itcomes to vomit risk is on their
back.
The most dangerous way to keepsomeone gagged when we think
about breathing issues is havingthem on their stomach.
In general, if you have someonein a hog tie or just tied down
(28:32):
on their stomach, anything wheretheir body weight is on their
chest, that means the diaphragm,which is the muscle which
allows us to breathe, now has toessentially lift the entire
body in order to get air intothe lungs.
So if it's doing that work andthen, on top of that, you're
gagged and your nose is stuffy,then there's a much greater risk
for serious problems.
(28:53):
So be mindful of positions whenpeople are gagged.
If they're on the back, beextra careful about vomitus.
If they're on their stomach, beextra careful about breathing
problems as part of this, let mesay that at this stage of my
life I would never leave someonegagged overnight, and that's me
.
I know there are people wholove it.
(29:15):
In fact I have friends whoactually love being hooded,
sleep sack, gagged, thrown in acloset and left overnight, and
that's great for them.
For me that doesn't work.
I have very different risktolerance at this age and there
are ways to minimize concerns ifsomeone is gagged overnight,
(29:38):
including using a gag which hasa tube in it through the center
so that there's still thefeeling of fullness in the mouth
, there's still volume control,there's still the inhibition of
speech, but there is also aclear breathing passage through
the mouth in case the nosebecomes stopped up.
And you can use, obviously, ababy monitor for them to try to
(29:59):
get your attention.
I'm a pretty deep sleeper.
I don't know if they'd be ableto get my attention, but there
are ways to mitigate those risksand that's okay and if people
are really into it, I certainlyhope you pursue it with an
awareness of the risk.
But for me I'm just notinterested in keeping someone
gagged overnight, in partbecause I'm not really
interested in keeping someonegagged.
I should probably note that.
(30:20):
So the next issue besidesvomitus and breathing is saliva,
and this is an issue that goesboth ways, depending on the gag
and depending on the body.
You might either end up withtoo much saliva or not enough.
Now, too much saliva is hot,right, like people are going to
be drooling.
We love that being drool, drool, drool.
You can do a lot of stuff withthe drool.
You can use it as lube.
(30:40):
You can just sort of do a lotof stuff with drool.
However, there is a possibilityif they're doing a lot of
drooling, they can end upchoking on their saliva
Increasingly.
I choke on my own saliva, justlike walking down the street,
and so it's totally.
It happens, right, it happenseven when I'm not gagging.
This isn't necessarilylife-threatening, but it could
(31:02):
be a little panic-inducing.
It would cause a lot ofcoughing.
That could be not great whensomeone's gagged.
So again, be mindful ofposition that have them in a
position where the drool canmore easily flow out, whether
that's seated slightly leaningforward.
That would reduce thepossibility of them being able
(31:22):
to choke on that saliva.
All the saliva in the mouth andanything porous, including
certain foams, but anything madeout of cloth bandanas, socks,
jockstraps, underwear, all ofthat.
Now that will lead to a verydry mouth which can be very
(31:45):
uncomfortable.
It's not really a health riskor safety risk as much as
someone's not going to be ableto be gagged for as long if
their mouth is entirely dry andthen, like your mouth, sticks to
the gag, it just becomesuncomfortable.
It is just not good at all.
Now, for many gags, what youcan do is pre-moisten them with
(32:06):
a quote-unquote fluid of yourchoice.
So classically, for example,the bandana gag, I would take
the bandana, cut out my backpocket, tie a knot in the middle
and then moisten it with thefluid of my choice.
Before I used to get in theirmouth and tie a knot in the back
.
So if you have it pre-moistened, then it really sort of
mitigates a lot of those issues.
(32:28):
All right, so the next issue ismuscle soreness, and again, this
is not life-threatening either,but keep in mind that,
depending on someone's anatomythat a gag, and depending on the
size of the gag, depending ontheir anatomy, depending on how
much sleep they've had that day,that their jaw can get very,
very sore if it's beingessentially pried open for a
(32:49):
significant amount of time.
As I mentioned in the opening.
This is a big one for me.
This is a big one for me.
I grind my teeth at night,which means I have these weirdly
overdeveloped jaw muscles andthen having them stretched by a
gag in my mouth.
It can be a lot.
So not a huge safety risk, butsomething to be mindful of.
(33:10):
So let's review there are fourareas of safety concern.
So let's review there are fourareas of safety concern, four
primary areas of safety concernwhen it comes to gags, vomit,
breathing, saliva and musclesoreness, and those are actually
in order of severity.
The most severe issue you canencounter is someone who vomits
while gagged.
The next level of severity issomeone who's having breathing
(33:32):
issues and then saliva issuesand then soreness.
Generally speaking, I don'tthink you're going to have
someone seriously harmed bybeing gagged, but part of that
is because you now know of someof the risks and can think about
(33:52):
how to mitigate them throughpositioning person in a certain
way, by signaling, bypreventatives and being really
watchful of some of these thingsthat could happen.
Final note about safety We'vetalked about putting a gag in a
mouth.
We've talked about putting agag around a mouth.
Critically, you never put gagsin the throat.
(34:16):
Now this is primarily an issuewith something like a sock or
any sort of cloth gag that youthink is going to be hot.
To just shove and shove andstuff and stuff and stuff into
their mouth, into their mouth isgreat.
If you stuff it and it goesinto their throat, not only
could it trigger this gag reflex, which then you have all the
vomitous issues, but if you getanything stuffed into the throat
(34:37):
, that person is going tosuffocate and die.
So gags go in the mouth, not inthe throat.
A couple other sort of finalnotes about gags in general, and
these are a little bit morepersonal for me.
So a couple of times I've beenplaying with a boy.
I had him gagged and he pushedthe gag out with his you know.
(34:58):
He, like opened his mouth widerand pushed the gag out to say
something to me.
I'm going to ask you, pleasedon't do this, don't do this.
There are very good reasons topush the gag out in a scene If
there is an emergency, if youhave an emergency concern about
your safety, or if the personwho gagged you is violating
(35:20):
limits, or you have toimmediately communicate to them
some pressing health concernlike oh my God, I'm going to
puke.
I need to take this gag out.
Great, push the gag out, but inthe normal course of a scene.
Please, please, do not push thegag out.
For me, as a dominant person,it is deeply deflating because
it is a rejection of my control.
(35:41):
It shatters the illusion andthe fantasy of the control I
have over you In general.
If you're playing with me, keepthis in mind.
If I put it on, I take it off.
If I put it in, I take it out.
If I put it on, I take it off.
If I put it in, I take it out.
So, unless it's an emergency,please, please, don't break the
illusion by pushing a gag out.
Wait for me to take the gag out.
(36:02):
Try to speak, indicate point atyour mouth, whatever, so that I
know you need the gag out.
But please, please, don't, ohmy God, and never, ever reach up
and take the gag off yourself,Please.
That would be really earthshattering to me and we will
probably not play again simplybecause I feel like that's such
(36:22):
an impolite thing to do Again.
If it's an emergency, lots ofgood cause to do that.
If it's not an emergency, not agood cause.
The last thing I'll say aboutgags is gags are not required.
They are not required.
So if you're not into gags,that absolutely has zero impact
on your identity and validity asa kinky person.
As I've said a few times, Idon't tend to use gags.
(36:46):
I don't tend to like thembecause I like mouths and I like
to use mouths.
However, I played with a coupleof boys who feel more empowered
to be loud if they are gagged.
Now, to be clear, my playroomis fairly soundproof.
I've got a couple neighbors,but I mean it's like concrete
walls and cinderblock walls, andthen the neighbors I do have
(37:08):
really aren't home a whole lot.
So I have a pretty soundproofplace and the boys I play with
know this.
So I have a pretty soundproofplace and the boys I play with
know this.
But there's something aboutbeing gagged that gives them
permission to be loud in a waythat me telling them, me giving
them permission to be loud, doesnot work.
Them being gagged, that works.
(37:29):
So if you're not into gags,that's okay.
No-transcript.
(38:02):
Since I have a little bit oftime left in this episode and
since I'm not really doinginterludes per se anymore, I
thought I'd take a moment tojust sort of talk about a little
bit of what's going on in mylife, some of the big things for
me.
I've been doing yoga.
(38:23):
Now this I've been embracing asa healing modality because of
some other stuff I discoveredI'm not even talking about
physically healing, but I'm justtalking about some sort of deep
healing, and so I really cameto yoga as a form of healing,
but it's also just good as abody practice.
(38:44):
I think it enhances myweightlifting, I think it
enhances my posture, my overallhealth and well-being, and so
I've been doing yoga.
The other thing which I thinkpeople would find really
surprising is I've started doinghand embroidery.
I was looking for a newjoy-making skill and in the
playroom here I have severalpieces of art on the art wall
(39:07):
that are actually embroidery andthey're so hyper-masculine and
they're so hot and they're sobeautiful and I always loved
this combination of a very sortof traditionally feminine art
form embroidery with these veryhyper masculine images.
And so I got to a point of somuch boredom and so much desire
(39:27):
for joy making that I orderedsome basic embroidery stuff from
Amazon and I started doing it.
You know the challenge for mehas been from Amazon and I've
started doing it.
You know the challenge for mehas been I was able to do one
piece that I'm just thrilledwith.
I gave it as a as a gift.
The only way I've been reallyable to make these patterns is
by tracing, using my iPad aslike a light box.
So there's a photo I put on theiPad, I put a piece of fabric
(39:50):
over it and I trace the part Iwant to embroider and that's
just not.
It's not giving me the level ofdetail I need.
So I did this one piece.
That's really beautiful and Ihave ideas for other pieces, but
I've not been able to reallynail the pattern.
So I'm going to have to lookinto.
There are a couple other waysto get to a pattern, to move
from photo to pattern and handembroidery, and I'm going to
(40:12):
have to explore some of those.
The third piece of news in myworld is I got new langlets.
I have a pair of bluecompetition breeches with yellow
stripes which really fit mebetter, I think, than my
original competition breeches,which is good and bad.
Like it fits this body better.
This body is sort of on thelean side, so if we do some of
(40:35):
my usual little weight gain,those breaches may be out of
reach.
My original pair of competitionbreaches are just kind of a
little more forgiving of my bodyfluctuations.
That's what I would say.
I also got a new jacket, asidewinder, and my jewelry is
still a little out on it.
I love the jacket and I gotcontrast stitching on all the
(40:56):
quilting.
It looks really amazing.
But it feels like the jacket'sa little big and I'm not
entirely sure about that.
I'm not entirely sure about it.
Some people I've shown they'relike wow, that looks great.
A couple of people whose eye Ireally trust are like did you
get that custom Because it looksbig?
I'm like oh my God, that'sright.
(41:17):
Right the day I got it I calledLanglitz I think it was a
little big and they're like youknow what, wear it.
Wear it with a sweatshirt, asin.
That's something I'm going todo as a leather man all the time
.
But they said look, we canalways alter it later, so that
may end up being altered.
Beyond that I have been.
(41:37):
What have I been doing?
I've been hanging on to hope inmy really difficult journey of
finding a boyfriend.
I'm not going to go into that awhole lot.
I really kind of made adecision to not talk a lot about
my dating in any of my media,except to say that it remains a
(41:58):
goal for me to find a boyfriendlocally, someone I can actually
spend time with, can wake upwith, can build a life with and
I talked to some men who are allover the world but logistically
that's just it's not going tobe possible.
It's just not going to bepossible as a dating situation
and I try to keep mindful ofthat and then I run away with
(42:20):
this fantasy of anyway I'm notgoing to get too deeply into
that, but it comes down to that.
I'm hanging on to hope and I'vehad a couple of encounters that
have sort of allowed that hopeto kind of glow and it's given,
breathed a little bit ofvitality into my hope, and then
(42:41):
I've had some encounters thathave really kind of really
darkened the hope.
So I share that.
Also to say this in myexperience dating sucks.
It doesn't matter who you are,it doesn't matter where you live
, it doesn't matter how old youare, it doesn't matter how many
muscles you have, it doesn'tmatter how good you look, it
(43:01):
doesn't matter what job you have, it doesn't matter.
None of that matters.
The whole process of dating ishorrible for everyone and I am
just sort of affirming that it'shorrible for me and I hope it's
horrible for you too, becauseotherwise that means there's
something wrong with me.
So I'm going to hold on to thefact that my dating experience
(43:24):
is horrible and I hope yourdating experience is horrible
too, and that sounds horribleand I'm going to acknowledge it
sounds horrible, and I'm goingto stop all the horribleness.
Right now I'm going to be goingto Palm Springs Leather Pride
in October for my birthday.
My birthday is actually theFriday of Palm Springs Leather
Pride.
I've never been to Palm Springs.
(43:45):
Therefore, I've also never beento Palm Springs Leather Pride.
I'm very excited to see thecity and to meet all these
people at a leather event, whicheveryone has told me is just
really amazing and fantastic inevery way.
So if you're going, look for me, I'll be in town, I'll be
around.
I'm going to be arriving theWednesday, october 29th and
leaving Monday, November 3rd.
(44:07):
So those are all the news andnotes from my world.
I hope all of you are having areally good summer and hey look,
we have a second episode of thepodcast.
That's pretty cool.
So have a very blessed leatherjourney, my friends.
And that's it for this episode.
(44:27):
Thank you so much for joiningme.
Please consider subscribing, oryou can send feedback to edge
at full cow dot show, as always.
May your leather journey beblessed.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!