Season 4 Update

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Ever wondered what happens in the space between podcast seasons? That strange limbo where creators seem to disappear? This candid update pulls back the curtain on the very real human struggle behind creative work.

The journey toward Season Four of Full Cow faces several interconnected challenges that many content creators silently battle. There's the daily energy taxation of existing in our current political climate—that feeling of waking up with a full battery only to spend a significant portion just creating enough psychological space to function. Then there's the recent discovery of old trauma living in the body, demanding healing work through acupuncture and somatic practices that, while necessary, consume precious time and resources. Add to this the paradox of needing to block weekends for rest while those same weekends were previously dedicated to podcast production. All these factors compound in a life without the multiplicative energy boost that partnership provides—what I call "a whole extra battery."

Despite these realities, Season Four is taking shape. I'm developing episodes on chastity's intersection with dominance, creating a new "Makers" segment highlighting craftspeople in our community, exploring the Old Guard traditions, and unpacking insights from the newly republished Leatherman's Handbook. The schedule may become more flexible than previous seasons' bi-monthly releases, but the commitment remains unwavering—this work will continue.

Your messages of appreciation and encouragement make all the difference. When creating feels like "sitting in an empty room talking to no one," hearing that this podcast matters to you provides the fuel to keep going. If Full Cow has touched your life in any way, please reach out. Your voice matters precisely because it reminds us why these conversations about leather culture, kink, and authentic connection must continue—especially in challenging times. Stay subscribed, stay patient, and know that your support is helping build Season Four, one small energy reserve at a time.

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Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone.
I wanted to give you an updateon season four of Full Cow.
Let me start by saying that Ifully intend on doing another
season.
The logistical reality of thatis a little bit more complicated
and I'll start by saying youknow, continued to have people

(00:27):
contact me in person through DMsto say how much they enjoy the
podcast, to ask about a fourthseason, to offer thanks, and
every one of those moves mecloser to a fourth season.
Because, you know, from myperspective, this is just me

(00:51):
sitting in my office slashplayroom with a microphone and
headphones and talking to no one, not even my cat.
My cat has learned like, whendaddy has the microphone out,
get out of the playroom becausehe's going to want quiet.
So I'm literally talking to noone.
So I don't have any grasp ofthe say.

(01:23):
I really enjoyed your podcast.
I really hope there's a seasonfour.
Your episode on blah blah blahreally moved me in blah blah
blah ways.
It is invaluable to me.
It is invaluable to me becauseit helps me to know there's a
reason to be sitting alone in myoffice slash playroom talking

(01:44):
to no one.
So thank you every single oneof you who have reached out
about the podcast in any way.
And if you are on the fence,please, if you've thought about
contacting me and you haven't,please do, because the thing
that is going to make seasonfour happen is people telling me

(02:07):
that they desire season four,that they on some level crave it
or need it, I don't know.
So please keep reaching out.
So what's the delay?
There are a number ofinterrelated, compounding
factors that are keeping me fromreally moving forward with this

(02:29):
season of Full Cow, and they'reall related to available time
and energy.
So, first of all, like so manyof us, in the current political
climate, I have less energyBecause each morning I wake up
right and I have a battery.
I have a certain pool ofavailable energy.

(02:51):
Well, now I have to take a notinsignificant portion of that
pool of energy and use it topress back against the doom of
the world around me, and pressback just far enough for me to
be able to breathe, so thatenergy is going into managing
anxiety, into generating hope,into keeping myself from

(03:16):
checking social media orchecking the news.
I'm literally spending alimited resource of energy to
make enough space for me to bealive.
Now I'm not even getting theworst of this political climate.
I am fairly protected, I amsuper privileged, but it still

(03:36):
is hitting me enough and has hitme not exactly directly but
very closely.
It's hit me closely enough tobe frightening and chilling.
It's been frightening andchilling and there have even
been a couple incidents on mysocial media, a couple of
comments that I've quicklyhidden from people because I
don't need them to see that thathave had a very vaguely

(03:59):
threatening air and felt alittle chilling.
So that's the first thing Iliterally have less energy
because I'm using more energybefore I even get out of bed to
make it through this world.
The second factor that isimpacting my available energy I
discovered in early January Iunearthed some old trauma that I

(04:25):
kind of suspected was there.
I didn't really know it wasthere.
Now I know it's there and thatmeans I've shifted quite a bit
of my available resources intohealing and that takes time and
money and for me it means I'vebeen doing acupuncture because

(04:46):
the trauma I uncovered is reallyembedded in the very cells of
my body.
It's something my bodyremembers.
So I've been working on verysomatic kind of healing
modalities.
So I've been doing acupunctureand I've been doing yoga and
I've been doing what I call whatI tell my friends is trauma
yoga.
It's really called neurogenicyoga and it's yoga plus a kind

(05:09):
of tremor slash, shakingresponse, a little bit like
somatic experiencing.
All of these things cost moneyand, more critically, for the
podcast.
All of these things cost moneyand, more critically, for the
podcast, they take up time.
I am spending one to four hoursout of my week simply trying to

(05:30):
heal trauma that I've beencarrying around, didn't even
notice, but I know it's therenow and I would like to get rid
of it.
That leaves less energy foreverything else in my world.
So there's the politicalclimate, there's the recently
uncovered trauma, and thenthere's the simple fact that

(05:52):
with the leather coaching andwith the rest of my regular life
and with a social life, I havebeen so busy that I've learned
how to block out weekends to donothing, utterly nothing,
because at one point there was apoint where I looked at my
schedule and I don't think I hada free night for two weeks and

(06:15):
that just felt.
Just thinking about it wasexhausting.
So I've been blocking outweekends more to do nothing.
Well, you know what Weekendsare the time I have to get the
podcast done, because they'rethe time I really have to work
on a project of this magnitude.
So that's been anotherimpediment to moving forward

(06:37):
with the podcast.
Finally, it's not.
It's something I don't know.
Do I talk about it a lot?
I feel like I don't talk aboutit a lot, but I also feel like I
do talk about it a lot.
The fact that I do not have aboyfriend is another factor here
, because when I'm in arelationship, it's like I get a

(06:57):
whole extra battery.
I receive so much love, love,support, energy from a partner,
and it's so nice to be around aperson who's not constantly
draining my battery as anintrovert If you're an introvert
, you might understand what Imean by that.
I can be around someone and notfeel drained.
When I have a partner, I feellike my resources are doubled,

(07:21):
and that is literally time getsdoubled in some ways.
So if I had a boyfriend, Iwould hope he'd be the kind of
boyfriend that would be like hey, baby, go work on the podcast
and I'll go get groceries.
Oh, thanks, baby, oh, and thenwe can go to the gym after.
Right, like I don't have a bodydouble out there running the

(07:42):
errands on the weekends, that Ican sit here and do that, that I
can sit here and do that.
The other thing is just theavailable energy, hope, joy,
those things I get.
My well gets refilled quicklyand more often when I have a
partner and therefore I havemore available stuff to spend on

(08:07):
things like the podcast.
So I'm still single.
I still have.
In fact, I'm getting to a pointwhere I am making this pivot,
where I just assume I'm notgoing to have a boyfriend.
Looking for one has been toopainful because I need someone
local.
I'm not going to do longdistance anymore, blah, blah,
blah, blah.
I'm not going to get into allthis.
The point is that I'm movingthrough that issue and leaning
into the beautiful men who arealready in my life and just

(08:30):
finding contentment with what Ihave, which is really more than
sufficient.
So those are the things keepingthe podcast from happening the
higher cost of livingenergetically, the higher cost
of living from an energeticstandpoint that it takes to

(08:54):
exist in the world today, thenew expenditures of energy
required for healing uncoveredtrauma.
The need to find spaces to donothing and to recharge in a
very busy life.
And the lack of a loving,supportive local here with me,

(09:15):
building a life with me partner.
That being said, I do intend todo a fourth season.
I can tell you I already knowsome of the episodes.
There will be another episodeon chastity.
We're going to return tochastity with a specific focus
on the intersection of chastityand dominance.

(09:35):
I don't mean using chastity todominate someone, I mean
practicing chastity as adominant person.
I'm excited for that.
I'm hoping to do a whole newsegment called Makers, which
really features the stories ofleather and kink craftspeople
and really helps us understandwhere our kink products are

(09:57):
coming from and provides a sortof human backstory to them.
Be an episode on the Old Guard.
This is again kind of a return.
The episode on origins talkedabout the Old Guard.
This will be a whole episode onthe Old Guard.
There will be an episode on theLeatherman's Handbook, which
was just recently republishedand is an incredibly important

(10:21):
historical document but alsoreally richly resonant for the
current state of the community.
Really richly resonant for thecurrent state of the community.
Oh, maybe I'll do.
I don't know.
Do I already have an episode ontitles?
I mean, we're coming up on IMLand I have a lot of people in my
orbit who are competing and soI've been thinking a lot about
contests and getting ready forcontests and all of that.

(10:41):
So there might be a wholeepisode on running for a title.
I have lots of ideas.
What I don't have at the momentis an abundance of time and
energy.
I can tell you, if you look atmy to-do list, it's a very
complicated, very anal,retentive document, but every
Saturday it says podcast.

(11:01):
So it is very much on my radar.
It is very much on my radar andI just wanted an opportunity to
tell all of you it's coming,it's coming.
I can't tell you when.
I suspect it's going to be on awhole new schedule where I'm
not bound to produce twoepisodes a month.

(11:22):
That was really, I think,ambitious and exhausting.
It might just be an episodecomes out when an episode comes
out, but it is coming.
The thing you can do besides,please continue to stay
subscribed, please continue tobe patient, please continue to

(11:43):
be so loving and understandingas so many of you have shown
yourselves to be to me.
The only other thing you coulddo is, if there's something, if
you really are supporting thepodcast, if you would love, if
you've loved the first threeseasons, if you would love to
see a fourth season, drop me aline.
I have any number of channelsof communication available to

(12:03):
you that just says hey, I'manother one of those people who
likes the podcast and I want youjust to know that I would love
to hear a fourth season wheneveryou can get around to it.
Those little messages arecritical, critical reminders
that this matters in some wayand in fact, in a world that is

(12:25):
hostile, in a world that issuper busy, in a world where
we're all healing from trauma,in a world where so many of us
don't have the loving,supportive relationships we want
, that this podcast is importantIn part because of those things
, in part to provide us a placeof understanding and a place of

(12:49):
mutual meeting and a place ofhope.
Yeah, that's my update.
I am slowly getting back to alsoposting videos on the socials
and that's been interesting.
I literally feel like I lost myvoice in the political climate,

(13:10):
but I'm getting it back and Ithink that's all I have for now.
I'm just always so blown awaythat people pay attention to the
podcast again sitting in anempty room talking to no one,

(13:31):
empty room talking to no one.
So to know that there arelisteners out there really blows
me away and I do not take youfor granted and I am very
grateful for all of you and Ihope you have a really just
effing amazing Saturday.
It's Saturday, may 10th, by theway.