Why The Da Vinci Code Movie Bombed: Our Hilarious Rewatch And Hot Takes

We kick off with the hosts’ cheerful greeting and their confession that they recorded the Fully-Booked: Literary Podcast ahead of schedule, joking that it is “the last week of June… but not really.” They remind us that June on Fully-Booked has been all about banned books, and they want to finish with something big.

While scanning international censorship lists, Meaghan notices that The Da Vinci Code has been pulled from shelves in Lebanon, India, Pakistan, Egypt, Jordan, and the Philippines. The reason is simple enough: some Christian leaders find the novel’s ideas offensive.

Shirin admits she did not realize Lebanon has such a large Christian population, and the pair laugh at their own ignorance before pivoting to the film version they are about to rewatch. They also poke fun at their ongoing knack for picking “the worst movie adaptation possible,” a running joke that keeps listeners feeling part of an inside circle.

Revisiting The Da Vinci Code: Book Hype, Film Fever, and Worldwide Uproar

We move from playful chit-chat to the cultural moment of 2003, when Dan Brown’s novel exploded onto every bookstore display.

The hosts recall how the familiar red hardcover stamped with a sliver of the Mona Lisa seemed to stare you down in every airport. Within two years, the book had sold tens of millions of copies, appeared in forty-plus languages, and sparked feverish speculation about secret societies, coded messages, and a hidden bloodline of Christ.

And Hollywood pounced. In 2006, Ron Howard delivered a glossy blockbuster starring Tom Hanks, Alfred Molina, Ian McKellen, and Paul Bettany. At the time, Shirin remembers thinking the movie was “the shit,” full of twists that felt like National Treasure with better haircuts.

Yet outside a Boston theater on opening night, she saw live protests, something a Canadian teenager did not expect on a school trip. That mash-up of box-office buzz and genuine outrage fascinates the hosts; it proves a thriller can still hit raw nerves when it challenges sacred stories.

National Treasure, Nicolas Cage, and Tangents We Can’t Resist

Because no Fully-Booked episode is complete without at least one joyful detour, we zoom off to Shirin’s devotion to National Treasure.

She owns a T-shirt with Nicolas Cage’s face, and the declaration “I’m gonna steal the Declaration,” makes her husband watch the film annually and defend its goofy charm at every opportunity.

Meaghan, who once watched the movie constantly with her mother, agrees it is “terrible but fun.” Comparing ratings, they discover that Cage’s romp actually edges out The Da Vinci Code on Rotten Tomatoes, an outcome they find both hilarious and strangely satisfying.

This lighthearted break matters. It shows how personal nostalgia shapes our judgment. Sometimes we cling to a so-so movie because it reminds us of family vacations or Friday sleepovers, not because it is a cinematic masterpiece. We feel that tug, too; I still grin whenever I hear Cage whisper “I’m going to steal it,” and I suspect many listeners have a similar guilty-pleasure favorite.

Characters, Plot Holes, and Why the Film Falls Flat

Back to business: the hosts dissect why the 2006 adaptation drags. First, length.

At two-and-a-half hours, it spread over three separate viewing sessions in Meaghan’s living room. Second, plausibility.

The victim supposedly staggers through the Louvre after being shot in the gut, leaving a breadcrumb trail of riddles in his own blood, yet still has the mental clarity to craft