Between Friends: Raw Conversations on Sex, Dating, and the Default Parent Dilemma

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos with Matt and Dave a
podcast about our adventures asfully grown homos navigating
today's world full ofinquisitive friends' questions
about gay life and theunexplored activities of a life
lived as fully grown homos.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
We will discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and
topics we don't even know yet,as we want your input onto what
you want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on fullygrownhomospodcast at
gmailcom or message any of oursocials at
fullygrownhomospodcast.
Hey, Dave welcome to this week,and, jory, and welcome to you

(00:56):
as well, man.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Hey, dave, who have we got in the studio?

Speaker 2 (00:59):
We've got a very, very special guest today.
It's our very first one toactually Very first guest and
very first person that actuallygave us some information about
the podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah, way back in the day when we started this, we
asked our friends and family forquestions Yep, and they stepped
up and one of those people isour friend Miami, hello Miami.
Hi guys.
Welcome to the microphone.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
It's taken long enough to get me in, I think.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
I know that says every time I speak to him no.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
No.
So we've had lots of questionscome from Miami.
We'll recap on some of those alittle bit later.
We're going to do a few othersegments and stuff like that as
well.
We're going to do the first.
We do our weekly wrap.

Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, we do our weekly wrap.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Before we do that, here we go oh honey.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
Guess who's back?
Dave and Matt, with a discosmack Surfing laughs, they spill
the tea the wrap of the week.
With some attitude, please.
I'm fully grown and feelingfine.
Snap those fingers, sip thatwine.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Hey Dave, what's happening with you this week?

Speaker 2 (02:40):
As usual, Matt renovations, renovations and
more renovations.
Renovations, renovations,renovations, yeah so you haven't
been over for a week or twomaybe three weeks.
About three to four weeksprobably.
So the house has been rendered,it's been cladded and I've just
been out busy painting.
All week the weather's beenshit, as you know.
I've seen some photos of youpainting up on the roof.
So it's coming together reallynicely.
So what's left left to dooutside is the front driveway.

(03:02):
That's all been dug up.
I'm waiting for my builder tocome along and lay the new
driveway down for me.
Build the front deck, lawn thefront part, and then the front
will be pretty much done, andthen it's just left is the back
deck and trees.
Hopefully, if I can afford toget done, your back dick, yeah,
the back dick, and thenbasically what?

Speaker 3 (03:21):
about the back door.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Well, I always use the back door, always.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
As you know, it's completely open.
It was last weekend too.
It was oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
We had clay come over again, didn't we?

Speaker 1 (03:35):
Yeah, and Dave offered up his back door.
It was a good view.

Speaker 2 (03:40):
Look, I mean, I don't normally, as you know, I don't
normally bottom because I sufferfrom back pain.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
So Miami was asking you.

Speaker 4 (03:47):
Is that just an excuse to be lazy?

Speaker 2 (03:49):
or Well, not in my case, but we have had friends
that are like that and they willlay on their back or they'll do
starfishing, because they justwant to be fucked, I suppose.
But for me, I think bottomingis one of those things I've got
to be prepared for.
Ready, oh, and you were.
Oh, yeah, I thought you know,give it a go.
I mean, I was in the rightposition.
I was in that mood where Ithought, okay, I'm happy to take

(04:12):
it up the arse tonight.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
And then Clay come along and did his deed and he
took it in his mouth as well.
So I was like laying back thereand I'm sitting there going
fuck, this is a good view.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
Normally I get to see the other way because Matt's
normally the one on his back.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
No surprises there.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 4 (04:33):
Eiffel Tower.
Did you see the Eiffel Tower?
We didn't do the Eiffel Tower.
No, we didn't, no.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Shit, we'll let you go.
I'll let you go.
I'm an ex-whore.

Speaker 4 (04:48):
You're a current whore.
Truth.

Speaker 1 (04:51):
He is a very current whore Truth truth, truth, truth
and a future whore too.
So the Eiffel Tower is when twoguys it's generally done with a
heterosexual couple, no, donewith three people generally only
, which is very minimum for meand you put your hands up over
the bed, over the top of theperson in the middle, create a
notch and create sort of thebridge sort of thing and you

(05:13):
basically have somebody bridgingin the middle where you've got
mouthful and arseful for supportstructure.

Speaker 2 (05:19):
So it's like spit roasting, but with a.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
With hands up in the air, so it looks like the Eiffel
.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Tower.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Yeah, it looks like the Eiffel Tower.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Like a big A, I suppose.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
Yeah, big A Capital A .
It's in the normal world too,guys.
Yeah, we can go for thealphabet doing that we should
actually try that.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
The alphabet is sex, the sexual alphabet.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
What you mean.
We should mark them off.

Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, we should do that.
Yeah, yeah, that would be coolWell.

Speaker 1 (05:45):
I'll have to ask ChatGPT about that.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
What happens when we get to like X?
How do you do that?
I might just double over don'tyou?

Speaker 1 (05:52):
We're going to have to ask ChatGPT.

Speaker 4 (05:54):
You just slide there like a starfish, like Matt
normally would.
And there's your X.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
You Excuse me, I like to be in control and you know
that Clay will tell you if heever comes on.
He'll tell you that I like toride.

Speaker 4 (06:10):
Comes on something other than your face.

Speaker 1 (06:11):
Well, no, I'll come all over their face then.
But I do like to ride because Ilike to control exactly where
that dick's going to hit,basically, and it's normally a
good ride you have, isn't it?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm likea fucking bock and bronco.

Speaker 4 (06:26):
Do you get a cramp or ?

Speaker 1 (06:28):
No, oh, occasionally, occasionally, but then what I
do is I just Is it a real crampor Because sometimes I pull the
oh shit.
I've got a cramp just so I canget off.
So it right, um, I don't fakeanything in the bedroom, um, and
, but I usually just sort of putmy leg on the floor instead and

(06:49):
sort of and just throw that legup there, and a few times I'm
doing funny angles on the chairand miami's looking at me going
you can't get in that position,can't?
and I go, yeah, watch me bitch.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
No, I saw him at yoga .
I know that he surprised me.
His balance was a bit off I'mnot gonna lie but he was more
flexible than I thought he wasgoing to be.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
Let me say that Okay that's because he's been
practicing the slings, that'swhat I think.
He told me he went to do yogain the slings and he found it so
easy.
It was horrible he said it waseasy because he just felt like
he was back in the sauna.
Yeah, that part, he just said,he laid back and his legs went
up and that was it.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
So a normal Friday, Saturday night, from that
Absolutely Pretty much Sunday.
Funnily enough we're off trackalready.

Speaker 1 (07:29):
It's not even three minutes, not seven minutes into
the podcast and we're alreadyoff track, so how's your week
been anyway?
My week's actually been reallygood.
Yeah, it's had some really funstuff.
Some good stuff happened atwork, right, but we don't talk
about work, no work um.
Right, but we don't talk aboutwork, no, um.
We took the girls for theirbeauty salon and scruffy the

(07:49):
puppy jay's dog for um for hishaircut with the girls today,
and so that was fun they'relooking so cute, super cute.
But all laying in differentpositions yeah, we do normally
pretty much but like I don't, Idon't think I I really did
anything apart from work, work,work this week You've been very
tired, haven't you?
I have, I have, but we went tobreakfast this morning at Mr

(08:10):
Watkins in Penrith.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
It's lovely, it is.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
It is, I love it.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
The breakfast pie.

Speaker 4 (08:17):
The vibe out the back of it is not what I expected.
It's so cool, isn't it?
It's so eclectic.

Speaker 1 (08:21):
I had what they call a breakfast pie, right?
Okay, explain which.
Basically, it's just two slicesof bread, bacon and eggs.
Right, like a fried egg withbacon, with their special mayo
and barbecue sauce.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
So far it's like a Jaffa.
It's like a Jaffa, right, How'sthat a pie?

Speaker 1 (08:39):
No, because they put it in a pie maker.

Speaker 3 (08:41):
Yeah Right, so it's shaped like a pie and so it's
really really good.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
It's shaped like a pie, but because I've had my
gastric sleeve surgery, I can'teat tons of bread, so Dave had a
bacon egg roll.
The last time I had a bacon eggroll there, it was delicious,
but I had half and then had towait half a day for the other
half, pretty much, whereas thiswas just Enough.
The bread was thin enough thatit was actually delicious and
their coffee is so good, so ifyou're in.

(09:05):
Sydney head to Mr Watkins InPenrith.
Not sponsored, obviously.

Speaker 4 (09:09):
They are really good there, are they good?

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Have you been there in the evening time?
Because apparently I have not.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
I have not Brittany's been there in the evening time,
has she?

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Yeah, she said it's great.

Speaker 1 (09:20):
Yeah, definitely, Definitely, definitely.
And what's your week been likeMiami?

Speaker 4 (09:25):
My week's been pretty boring Work, work, work.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Mother duties.

Speaker 4 (09:28):
Mother duties.
I am a retired whore, so thesedays I have two children, a
39-year-old and a 4-year-old Yep.

Speaker 1 (09:36):
I'd babysit your 39-year-old for you I know, I
know you tell?
Me all the time time, um, butyeah, I don't know who's harder
work at the moment, who's harderwhen you're 39?

Speaker 4 (09:48):
year old would be.
He was in my bed, definitely,definitely, and we also got a
new puppy so we have a beautifullittle golden retriever puppy
and he is yeah, but it's hardwork, really really hard work,
like I love him to death, butit's like having a newborn child
again Let me tell you, butyou've had a lot of issues with
him in style we have we had.

(10:09):
He's had some challenges, buthe's on the mend now.

Speaker 2 (10:11):
Yeah, that's a main thing, that's down to you,
giving him all the love andattention he needs.

Speaker 3 (10:15):
Yeah definitely he's a sweetheart.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
He's so pretty, he's so cute.

Speaker 2 (10:21):
So, we've got a bit of a new segment because Miami's
here, yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:24):
So we've got a new segment, so we're going to head
straight on into it.
We even created an intro.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Hey bitches, got a bone to pick with you.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
There's Miami.
All right so.

Speaker 4 (10:41):
I have a bone to pick with both of you, but I'm going
to start with Dave first.
Dave, what makes you betterthan me?

Speaker 2 (10:48):
What makes you better ?

Speaker 4 (10:49):
And the reason I'm asking is because Matt probably
already knows where this isgoing.
But for years I asked Matt todo a podcast with me.
Oh, really, for years and years, and years, and he was too busy
.
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
And then I came on the scene.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
You came on the scene and next thing, you know, I see
this amazing advert for thisnew podcast.
He didn't tell me.

Speaker 2 (11:13):
First, let me just say that so he just put it out
there.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
And I'm like are you kidding?
Like where the hell did thiscome from?
I've been asking for years andyears and years and now you've
gone and made this new podcastwithout me.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
I think what it was.
He tied me down to the bed onenight, which he wouldn't have
been able to do with you,unfortunately.

Speaker 1 (11:29):
No, definitely not.
No, because she'd dominate thefuck out of me.
We know that.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
He actually tied me down.
He said you're not getting upuntil you do a podcast with me.

Speaker 4 (11:37):
I don't believe that's how it went, so why did
you pick Dave?

Speaker 3 (11:41):
over me.
That's what I want to know,other than the fact that he has
a penis.

Speaker 4 (11:43):
What.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
I don't know that.
I think, oh wow, how do I getout of it?
You're blushing.

Speaker 4 (11:52):
I'm waiting, he's blushing Good question.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
So I don't think I had the like.
We had a great idea and we werealso going to be super famous
with our idea.
We were of famous with our ideabecause we were going to do one
.
Where it was, we had a.
Funnily enough, his name wasDave as well, a friend of ours,
and he's a 40-year-old virgin,so we were going to ask him
questions around his virginity,everything, everything.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
We're all slightly unique, so yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
So when Miami almost slipped up there, when Miami
says slightly unique, she meanswe all have different, varying
levels of let's go mental healthissues.
Adhd, adhd.

Speaker 4 (12:36):
We're all neuro spicy .
Let's put it that way.

Speaker 1 (12:39):
Oh, I like that neuro spicy.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
But you know what?
I think you two gel so welltogether.
It's so cool.
Listen to the conversationswe've had tonight before doing
the podcast here.
We've been talking for aboutfour hours.

Speaker 4 (12:52):
And we probably didn't finish one conversation,
no, and this is exactly where Iwas going.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
I sit there and I listen to the conversation,
thinking who's going to end theconversation, because I've not
heard any of these endings sofar, and I feel that this is
going in that direction already.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
So I think I probably wasn't capable at that stage of
working out the how-to podcast,so that's probably why.
And then just the time factorand all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
And now I feel like you really like brush me off
every time.

Speaker 1 (13:19):
I mention this.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Now I'm single and free.
How long ago was this?
Oh, years ago.

Speaker 4 (13:23):
Well, he says years ago, Dave.
But let's face it, I would havebeen asking and asking and
asking because I don't give upon stuff.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah, okay, she is quite persistent, quite
persistent.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
So yeah, but you could do a spin-off.
You never know.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, but no, we don't really see that friend so
much anymore, right, okay, and Ithink the questions would
probably run out real quick,like our conversation never,
because it never fucking ends.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
No, that's true.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
But the questions for him would run out because I
think yeah, because he was verynaive very naive Sweet, sweet
guy Lovely guy, friendly guy,yeah, lovely guy.
Friendly guy but like just dimat times, like to the point
where so what you're telling meis it wasn't.
It wasn't a me thing no,definitely not a you thing.

Speaker 4 (14:11):
Obviously, you know I love you, then I may be able to
drop the bone potentially okay.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
But this friend right , he was the kind of guy that a
girl actually took him back tohis house after a movie date.

Speaker 4 (14:26):
Are we going to get in trouble here?
No, is he a listener?
I don't believe so.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
It doesn't matter, because we're not.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
Hi, if you are.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
If you are hi, I don't know you, but hi.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, she gave him a cup of coffee because she gave
him a peck on the cheek one dateand she said next time we're
over we'll have to take you infor a coffee.
We'll have to go to your housefor a coffee afterwards, which
clearly meant she wanted to fuckhim.
All right, right, was he doableIn?

Speaker 2 (14:54):
your opinion.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Okay, nah, not for me .
He's just very geeky.
He's nerdy.
You know Beauty and the Geek.
Yeah, actually, we tried toencourage him multiple times to
go on that.

Speaker 2 (15:04):
Okay, so 30 years more Look he's a nice guy.

Speaker 1 (15:07):
He's a handsome enough guy If he had a makeover.
You reckon he'd be nice?
If he had a makeover, he couldprobably.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
Look, he's lovely and he's very sweet.

Speaker 2 (15:13):
Okay, so what you're saying is his personality
doesn't match his looks.
Is that what you're saying?

Speaker 1 (15:17):
No.

Speaker 4 (15:17):
It probably does.

Speaker 2 (15:18):
Well, let's Well, that's been all this.
I asked a question.

Speaker 4 (15:23):
So no, look, I love him to pieces.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
I love him.
Love, love, love, love, love,love.

Speaker 4 (15:28):
But he's just A unique individual, which?

Speaker 2 (15:31):
is cool.

Speaker 4 (15:31):
Yeah, he's cool he is cool and I think that girl was
A unique and cool individual.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Did you ever meet her ?
Do you meet her?
No, no, oh, so this is whathe's told you.

Speaker 4 (15:41):
Yeah, and I saw photos on social media.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
I believe, of the girl, and was she sort of like
beauty?

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Unique and individual , so she matched his personality
type.

Speaker 4 (15:51):
Are you trying to get us in trouble here, Dave?
I feel like Dave's baiting us.

Speaker 3 (15:54):
I feel like he's baiting us hard.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
All right, you already won Dave.
You got me and he knows both ofus and he knows that one of us
is going to say something soon.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
I just want to hear the end of the story, that's all
.

Speaker 1 (16:06):
Oh, okay, good luck with that buddy.
So, fundamentally she took, hewent back to her house.
So sorry, she took him back tohis house after the movie, after
she'd already put the coffeeinto his house, right, right.
And then he said to her bye,right, and got out the car and
said see you next time.
Oh, she didn't come in, Right,wait.
Anyway, he went in A couple ofminutes later here's his knock

(16:29):
on the door and she saidremember, I was going to come in
for a coffee.
Also, he said hang on.
He grabbed the jar of coffeeand he said I don't drink coffee
.

Speaker 2 (16:41):
There's no use you coming in.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
Oh really, he's that naive right?
He's that naive.
Wow, anyone else.
And he says now I know becauseI've obviously had you in my
life as a friend and Miami as afriend.
So he just wasn't picking up onthe hints he wasn't picking up
on any of the hints.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
He wasn't picking up on, and how old would he have
been then?

Speaker 1 (16:57):
About 30, probably.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
Wow, I think Is he similar age to me.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
No, he was 40 a few years ago now.

Speaker 4 (17:05):
Oh, okay, so he's older than me.
I'm not 40, by the way guys.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
No, she's not, you are.
You're probably the only.
You're so fucking young.
You're one of the only peoplethat we know and are friends
that are under 40 now.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
We're going to do something big for my 40th, I
reckon.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, 100% Real, big yeah.

Speaker 4 (17:22):
And real big.
Yeah, when is it?
I'm not telling you.
Next year no it's not first ofall.
So take that back.
I wish we were doing video here, because that was fucking.
We've got a few years, a coupleof years Okay, I got burned so
hard.
We've got a couple of years toplan it.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
You have no idea how much that was.
That was like daggers in youreyes, man, I just fucking got.
You have no idea how much thatwas.
That was like daggers in youreyes.

Speaker 3 (17:46):
That was awesome, he got shot.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
He was very good.
That was almost like a cum shotfrom a bloke.
Oh my God, His tension iscoming.

Speaker 1 (17:50):
I would have fucking been blinded by that one.
For sure, for sure, there yougo, okay, yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
So that was a bonus baby.
Okay, that was the bonusquestion.

Speaker 4 (17:59):
I can probably drop the bone now, but I I feel like
I think you should hold on to it?
I think a little bit yeah Ifeel like matt didn't fully give
me a right answer I feel likehe is probably holding a little
bit back so I might chew on thatbone for a little bit longer,
but you do realize that I wouldhave forgotten that.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
You even asked that, so because, you know what my
brain's like.
There's not enough room rightfor conversation.
Slash thoughts, slash learningshit.

Speaker 4 (18:27):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Plus work, plus song lyrics, and guess what's going
to win every single time?

Speaker 4 (18:31):
And I would normally believe that, had I said it once
.
But, like, let's be honest, I'mvery persistent and I think I
asked multiple times, a bit likethe ghost tour that I wanted to
go on in Manly oh we need to dothat.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
We need to.
Oh, thank you, dave.
Thank you, we definitely needto do it, because I've asked him
about it's honestly been aboutfour years, five years of me
asking him to go Well.

Speaker 1 (18:51):
I think it actually stemmed from when you got
married.
Yeah, some more it did, becauseI stayed at that place.

Speaker 4 (18:56):
So how many years ago was that?

Speaker 1 (18:59):
I'm not responsible for membering your marriage.
I'm going to get in so muchtrouble here, I'm horrible with
dates.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
I'm going to get in so much trouble here.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
I'm not responsible.
I think about seven years.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah seven or eight years, give or take a year or
two, so he's well behind theball game normally, then.
Yeah, in terms of like, yeah,okay, all right, okay.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I want.
I'm going forward a case here.
Okay, all right.
So when Miami and myself chat,all right, and everyone in this
room probably other listenersthat are, what did you say?
It was Spicy, neuro-spicy,neuro-spicy, neuro-spicy, right
can relate that when we do chat,there is at least I'm going to

(19:39):
say 40 and be reallyconservative right conversations
that happen.
That's just in the first 10minutes that's what I'm saying.
So how can I be more quiet toremember?

Speaker 2 (19:49):
I can sit there and I can listen to both of them and
I love watching their reactionsbecause they both go off on
tangents.
Like the topic conversationwill start and then one of them
will go off in a little bit andI think, okay, they're going to
bring it back and the nextminute they're on a completely
different topic, and then theother one will start on another
topic and I'm like how the fuckare we going to go back to this?
And then one of them goes.
We never did finish the lastone, so we go back to that again

(20:10):
and it's like like arollercoaster yeah, it doesn't
end yeah it's like one of thosecircles that never sort of join
it doesn't, so let's just divein.

Speaker 1 (20:22):
I don't even have a jingle for the next one, because
what the topic of conversation.
No, I don't have a jingle forthe next one.
Oh well, there you go, that'sokay, because we're going to
duck in to the next one, whichwas some of our original
questions way back in the daythat Miami sent through.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
This is a recap of all your stuff.
Listen to what you're going toask us.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
I couldn't find the original questions.
Really no surprises there, itgets everything.

Speaker 4 (20:50):
I say no.
I've got everything in my appsAdding that to the bone.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
But I don't know where it's gone, because I
literally keep everything in mybrain.
Oh no, I just found them.
It was further down.
There you go.
It was further down.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
I think these ones were yours.
Maybe these ones wereBrittany's.
We'll ask her.
Just remind Miami what they areOkay.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
All right, Topics were Mine will probably be a
little bit more spicy than.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Brittany's potentially.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Do you getgravel rash.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
No, that's not mine.
Okay, I know all about gravelrash.
I'll never ask the questionabout it no, on your Hang on.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
Do you hear gravel rash like pass rash on your cock
from a BJ?

Speaker 4 (21:30):
No, Was that one of yours?
No, definitely not.

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Okay, that was one of .

Speaker 1 (21:33):
Brittany's.
All right, I know that you sentone through just because you
thought it would actually be agood question for everyone to
ask to hear, even though youclearly know the answer.
And you said does it hurtgetting fucked up the ass Right?

Speaker 3 (21:49):
Did you ask that?
Yeah, she did ask that she didask that.

Speaker 1 (21:54):
But she said I remember the text saying, her
saying I already know the answerclearly because she's not
opposed to getting a bit of analaction.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
Things have changed.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Back in the day, back when she was a whore.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
As I said, I'm a retired whore.
I've hung up my boots as to say.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Your boots, For now anyway.

Speaker 2 (22:16):
You've got other duties to attend to, like
looking after two kids Untilyour 39-year-old son pisses you
off.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
That's right.
Yeah, you're on notice.
But yeah, so there was that oneand we said that.
I said it hurts.
Sometimes you said it hurts.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
Well, yeah, I mean, I find it, like I said before,
it's more, so my back.

Speaker 4 (22:39):
Do you guys use lube?

Speaker 2 (22:41):
Oh, all the time.
Yeah, definitely, I've got lotsof it.

Speaker 4 (22:44):
Yeah, in the straight world.
It's like it's not.

Speaker 2 (22:47):
I've never had a guy go to do it in the back passage.

Speaker 4 (22:49):
Yeah, I've never had a guy to go to do it and use
lube oh wow, how do you feelabout that?
Well, normally they they likejust spit on your asshole.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
Yeah well, yeah well.
I think rimming you that's evenbetter, because I mean, you're
pretty much, I'm not a big fanof that.
Are you not?

Speaker 4 (23:04):
No, I don't know why.
It's not like I'm a, but I just, I'm just like just move up a
bit.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
Like for me.
It's like you're wasting yourtime, what you're giving or
you're receiving.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
Oh like.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Would you rim a guy?

Speaker 4 (23:18):
I mean, have I, is that you're asking?
Okay, have you?

Speaker 2 (23:21):
yeah, well, yes, okay so you know what it's like
anyway yeah, definitely,definitely okay and, but when
you're talking about receivingI'm talking about receiving, I'm
not you're not a big fan ofyourself, because I'm like, look
, just get it in there, yeah the, the pussy's right there, just
move up that's all right, youknow what I mean.

Speaker 4 (23:37):
Like I'm going to get more from that than I.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
That's, yeah, that's understandable, because this is
good for us, because obviouslyfrom a woman's perspective, I
mean, we're not going to getthat.
It's all like narrative and youdon't want them switching
between the two.
No, definitely.
It's a big thing for females.
I can understand that.

Speaker 4 (23:51):
Straight men don't realise it.
Let me tell you, Dave.
But like tossing the salad andswitching between it's just not
healthy.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (23:57):
Like no one wants a bad pH level.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
You just don't.
Well, dave actually got likewhen Dave was in hospital with
his kidney infections and allthat kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
my dad because my dad's quite a comical- it
started with a urinary tractinfection which is not picked up
by.
I just got like an infectionfrom a.
What do you call it foodpoisoning?
What did they say?

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Yeah, they said it was food poisoning.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
So that obviously led to me having a urinary tract
infection.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
I've actually had plenty of urinary tract
infections, which has not beencorrelated to any sexual
activity, but my dad said my dadsaid you tell Dave that he's
supposed to go from the front tothe back, not the back to the
front.

Speaker 2 (24:41):
So that yeah.

Speaker 4 (24:42):
Yes, well, that definitely is, but he had a
great fun thinking that's whatit was.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yes, well, that definitely is.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
He had a great, great fun thinking that's what it was
.
How often?
No, hang on, I'm going to letyou read them out again, all
right?

Speaker 4 (24:52):
All right, let me read them out.
Read them out.
Sorry, I had to have a sip ofwine then, guys.
Sorry, that's all right.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
So Miami's come to the rescue and found the
questions because we fuckingtext a lot.

Speaker 4 (25:01):
I have.
I have, like, I just like Iknew how many times I said, matt
, hey, I'm going, we're goingoff track again, but Matt hates
that.
I will send a question.
I'm one of the people thatsends multiple text messages.
You know the one text, thething that could be one text
message, yep.

Speaker 1 (25:17):
But turns into five.

Speaker 4 (25:18):
That's me.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
A five.
Okay, because that's not Five.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Five.

Speaker 4 (25:22):
It drives men insane.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
So you don't have to be verbal.
You can just do it by text, andthen the conversation's never
in that way.

Speaker 4 (25:27):
Yeah, that's awesome.
But literally it'll be likeBing, bing, bing, bing, bing,
bing bing.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
How are you and these are all different fucking that
happens a lot on podcasts isn'tit.
This is literally like fivemessages.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
Just you should actually text us on the podcast.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
I actually did it once.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
I fucking did.
Every single word, no, I think.
I did every single letterdifferently and I said that she
would get it.
But yeah, it was funny.
All right, here are some earlydays questions.

Speaker 4 (25:55):
How often do you end up okay, sorry.
How often do you end up withpoop on your cock?

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Now that, because as females we get.
It has happened.
Yeah, as a female.

Speaker 4 (26:06):
You get very paranoid about it.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah, I mean that has happened, not from me being
penetrated by another guy, butobviously when you penetrate
another guy and they haven'tdouched properly, then it can
happen.

Speaker 4 (26:17):
So it's normal for them to shit on your dick.
Well, not really, not normal,not really so.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
The thing is that douching and douching and again.
Miami's asked me about douchinga number of times.

Speaker 4 (26:27):
Numerous times.
I'm very intrigued.
I've got to show you my kidBecause the times I have done.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
Anal, anal.
You're allowed to say it.

Speaker 4 (26:36):
I hadn't douched first.
I wasn't prepared.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
Okay, so you wouldn't know.

Speaker 4 (26:40):
No because, it's not a thing in the straight world A
lot of people don't know aboutit.
And half the time, as a femalelike I'm going to be honest.
You don't know what's coming itjust goes in there.

Speaker 1 (26:49):
It just sort of happens, yeah, yeah, and you
just pray that it's there and Iguess, as somebody that's going
to play in the backyard, you'regoing to get dirty occasionally,
and you tend to smell it beforeyou see it, and that's a
problem it is it is like thathonestly, so I get paralyzed
recently yeah recently, oh, notrecently.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Well, there's a guy that we played with we're not
gonna name names.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Yep is yeah, but we played with him before right,
and he's been perfectly fine,but the last time I played with
him right, um, I thought tomyself yeah, he was a good fuck
before.

Speaker 4 (27:26):
At church right.

Speaker 1 (27:28):
And so I sort of lubed up and stuck it in, and
then I could smell.

Speaker 2 (27:35):
I could smell it too.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
And I kind of went I'm going for a shower and you
weren't doing it like, but youhad to leave.

Speaker 4 (27:43):
Look if I could smell shit.

Speaker 2 (27:44):
I have to leave, I can't.
It makes me throw up, it makesme feel gaggy.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
I literally went downstairs and showered pretty
much straight away.
So how often?
Not often, because most peopledo know how to douche.

Speaker 4 (27:56):
But are you ever worried?

Speaker 1 (27:58):
Like do you ever go to?

Speaker 4 (27:59):
like bottom and then go how's?

Speaker 2 (28:02):
this going to go Normally you can smell them
beforehand.

Speaker 1 (28:06):
No, no for yourself.
You smell your own assbeforehand.
Oh no, sorry, no, I thought youmeant that.
It'd be good if I could.
Could you imagine it?
I wish, Fuck.
Yeah, that would be awesome.
You can by sticking your fingerup.

Speaker 4 (28:17):
Have you ever done that?
Have you ever like stuck yourfinger up?
You my kit later.
It's just like a little Matt,I've seen your kit.

Speaker 1 (28:22):
No, no, no.

Speaker 4 (28:28):
I was there when you bought it.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
No, the douche kit no .
So the one I'm using at themoment is basically just a
garden hose.
Not a garden hose, it's a sixmil hose.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
You can tell he's from Mount Druitt.
I got from Bunnings.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
It should seem a bong .
I'm joking.
I don't smoke weed, that's notmy thing.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
He grows plants, he doesn't smoke them.

Speaker 1 (28:49):
I don't grow any kind of illegal plants Illicit stuff
yeah, but if I've douched and Ijust don't feel like I've got
everything, I just won't bottom.
That's simple as that.
Right, I really make sure thatI've gotten everything.
Now, back in my early days,there was probably one or two
times I remember when we were atchurch with Michael and he went

(29:12):
Matt, you need to go and rejigyourself.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
So that would be it for me.

Speaker 2 (29:16):
I'd be gone.
I don't know.
I went and reclaimed myselfyeah.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Some people think it's really shameful, right, but
again you're playing in thebackyard.

Speaker 4 (29:26):
You're going to get dirty A hundred percent and I
get it Like.
I guess in the straightcommunity it's a little bit
different because we're moreparanoid, because it's not
something we do all the time.
What worries me?

Speaker 2 (29:36):
more right is sometimes you go to these saunas
, right, and there's a bignotice on one of the showers now
that says use the toilets andnot the showers for shitting in.
Basically oh my god, yeahhonestly so you know, some guys
have either not cleanedthemselves, or they've decided
that they've cleaned themselves,but not enough and it's just
fucking come out and they'vejust done it in the toilet in
the shower.
Yeah, it's pretty gross.
So, yeah, I mean anything to dowith shit.

(29:57):
Just get the shit.
I don't like it.
I don't like the smell.
Taste it?
No, well, you could probablytaste it if you fucking.

Speaker 4 (30:05):
You can taste it sometimes in the back of your
mouth.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
Some guys will fuck you and then they go down and
they fucking start sucking youup after they've fucked you and
you're like what the fuck's allthat about?
I mean it's like, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
Oh, so that's not a thing?
No, after you've fucked them,they'll come out and they'll
start sucking your dick straightaway.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
But but they haven't checked their fucking asses
clean.
I mean, you just fucked them.

Speaker 4 (30:25):
Yeah, that's true, yeah, but usually they're fairly
confident, you would hope soI've definitely been with a few
men who've tried to do the analand then yeah, and then you want
them to suck you.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
No, no, they've jammed it straight in my mouth.
I don't think they could beable to suck you because you
just Okay, where are we goingwith this?

Speaker 4 (30:43):
No, but then they've tried to jam it straight in my
mouth.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
I don't want to taste my own ass.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
We spoke about pegging earlier in the
conversation.
Okay, so if you were to fuck aguy and they weren't clean,
would that be the same thing foryou?
The smell on the side of theshit.

Speaker 4 (30:58):
Yeah, definitely it would be, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
Would you tell them that you've got to leave them?

Speaker 4 (31:04):
I don't know how I'd handle it.

Speaker 1 (31:06):
to be honest, fucking , sit there and unstrap yourself
.
Well, this is awkward.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
I'm not sure how I'd handle it.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
I honestly don't know .

Speaker 4 (31:16):
As you both know, I have dabbled in the pegging side
of things before.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
Oh yeah, You've not experienced it, though obviously
not.

Speaker 4 (31:24):
Not like, but not hardcore Do you know what I mean
.
And I never had an issue withthat.
I don't know if they likedouched first or like I don't
know.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
So the high probability they might have
douched High probability.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
Yeah, they knew it was coming.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
So it's not like unplanned.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Wasn't that?
Oops, I accidentally stuck thisvibrator in your arm.
How did you find?

Speaker 2 (31:46):
them in terms of when you're pegging them Because
obviously I wouldn't know,because I've never pegged
anybody Did they sort of likeexpect you to be sort of like
really rough with them, or is itjust like a steady sort of
thing?

Speaker 4 (31:58):
Well, the first one.
No, he was like I think it washis first time, right, and he
didn't want to.

Speaker 3 (32:05):
He chose you I Right and he didn't want to, and he
chose you, I know, and not me,can you?

Speaker 4 (32:09):
believe it.
And I was quite young.
I was in my early 20s.
I'm not going to lie.
He would have been at least 10years older than me.
Right okay, very attractive,but going off script there.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
But sorry, that's okay, are we going off script
when the fuck, are we on ascript?

Speaker 4 (32:23):
When the fuck did we ever?
No, because my head started.
I had to bring myself back toearth for a second.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Anyway memories, memories.
I'm not a whore anymore, Not awhore.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
Don't you moisten my seat, so he was.

Speaker 4 (32:38):
It would have been like one of his first times, so
he wanted it very gentle and itwas like slow, slow, slow.
To be honest, I just wanted tojam him like he jammed me.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
How did you feel doing it, though?
Did it feel empowering for you?

Speaker 4 (32:50):
I was looking him straight in the eyes because he
wanted his legs to move back, sohe was on his back.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah, oh, wow, wow okay.

Speaker 4 (32:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:59):
Did it feel weird that you were the one that was
giving him the fucking goodscene?

Speaker 4 (33:03):
Well, I just didn't know how hard to go.
Like I was like oh I do.
I've never fucked anyone before, male or female.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Like that Hang on.
No, I reckon even as a woman,you give fuck energy.
You don't give get fuckedenergy.

Speaker 4 (33:22):
Yeah, very true.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
So the thing is that to say you've never fucked
anyone, you've fucked people,right, but they might have had
their dick in you, but you'vedefinitely fucked them.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Yeah, definitely so, when they're laying on their
back and you're fucking them andthey're moaning and groaning.

Speaker 4 (33:37):
Well, he was like he was like yep, yep, and then he
was like oh, a bit softer, a bitslower, were you laughing in
your head.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
No, not at all so you were really yeah, no, I was
into it, I was focused, I wasgiving it 100.

Speaker 4 (33:50):
Dave, I don't do anything without giving it 150%.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
That's awesome.
That's awesome.

Speaker 4 (33:54):
I was focused.
I was like, if he's holding ascore, I want to get a 10.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
There you go.
Wow, wow.
Did you ever get anybody to?
He did like sort of stoptowards the end.
Yep Wanted me to stop.

Speaker 4 (34:08):
It must have been a little bit too much for him,
yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
Did you feel like, yes, I've scored one there?
No not really.

Speaker 3 (34:16):
You're disrespectful.
Yeah, I was disrespectful.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
I know how it feels.

Speaker 2 (34:20):
Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying, because you
know what it's like In allrespect.

Speaker 4 (34:27):
I just like bite my teeth and grit and bear it, but
I know that men aren't as strongas women, so I expected him to
tap out True.

Speaker 1 (34:30):
It's so cool though, isn't it True?
Yeah, we're definitely not.

Speaker 2 (34:33):
Don't talk about pegging enough and obviously,
from your perspective, doing itis even better.
You know what I mean, so that'sawesome, that's good to know
that, yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:48):
What other questions have hurt?
Well, we already covered that.
Yeah, we already covered.
So how hard is douching andhave you ever really get?
Do you ever really have to getused to doing all that prep?

Speaker 3 (34:54):
work like because it doesn't take long, it's worth it
.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
Like it, like literally I could.
I could do run out of here now.
You guys could be talking andyou'd probably be on
conversation number 20 becauseyou're you.
Yes, but it only takes a fewminutes, right, because I've got
mine hooked up to the tap, thetap.
I just turn the taps on.
See, I've got the hose up,portable right can I ask another

(35:17):
question?

Speaker 4 (35:18):
yeah does like the tap water pressure get you there
, or?

Speaker 1 (35:20):
no, no, no, it doesn't okay.
No, because, because it's adifferent purpose okay right, I
had to ask yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
But, the thing is, they do try and tell you to hold
the water in for three or fourminutes.

Speaker 4 (35:33):
A bit like an NMR.
Yeah, absolutely Exactly likethat.

Speaker 2 (35:37):
It's like that.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
It is like that it is exactly like that, and then you
basically hold everything outand you've just got to do it a
couple of times until the waterruns clear.
But are you scared that?

Speaker 4 (35:44):
like water's going to keep leaking out.
Sometimes it does, so it doessometimes oh that's not nice.
No, it's not.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
This is why I like to do it way prior.
So the thing is, if Dave and Iwere going to go and fuck now,
right, I'd say I need to be anhour or maybe a little while
ahead, yeah, and then I givemyself enough time to go and
just get rid of anything that'ssort of residual like and stuff
like that.

Speaker 2 (36:08):
It is common.
I mean I could sit on thetoilet for maybe 10 minutes
afterwards and just make sureit's out.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
Yeah, but then that's negative because you can strain
as well by trying to push itout.
But what if you just like, didlike 20 squats or something in a
spot?
Do you reckon it would?

Speaker 1 (36:22):
help get like the rest of it out, I'd definitely
do 20 squats.
I'll definitely get that to do20 squats, 20 squats.

Speaker 4 (36:29):
I reckon I'd be too tired to fuck.
Then Do you reckon that motionwould help get it out?
Don't tell me you're coming atme with 20 squats.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
I can look at you, you know.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
That's his gym workout for the week that is.

Speaker 4 (36:39):
No, I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 (36:42):
Would that like help propel it?
And also if I know we're goingto church, if we've got a church
day booked as well?

Speaker 4 (36:49):
Take me to church.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
You know that Hoyser song.

Speaker 4 (36:51):
I can't listen to that song anymore, without
thinking of YouTube, it has awhole new meaning to that song.
Yeah, 100%.
I don't know what church it was.
How do you say it?

Speaker 1 (37:00):
But if we go there Hoyser, Hoyser Cozy air.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
If we're going, I also monitor what I'm eating the
day before as well, so I'm notgoing to go and have a curry.

Speaker 4 (37:09):
This is too much work for me.
I'm sitting here thinking as asingle man.
But I've done anal a few times.
I didn't go to all this trouble.
Now I'm sitting here thinkingdid I shit on anyone's dick?
You probably did.
Because, I did not put in thismuch effort.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
I did not.
That's probably why he only didit while you were in the shower
, because that way it washedaway straight away.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
But most of the time I mean by the time you get to
church and stuff like that it'spretty much the guy that we both
, I think I just mentioned hisname a second ago the big blonde
one.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Yeah, he used to.
You told me yeah, definitelyBecause you said he wasn't
massive, so it was quite goodWow.
Wow, you really yeah, Is thissomething that you've both done,
Somebody we knew right.

Speaker 4 (37:54):
No, no, no Not someone from church.
No, no, no, Right, no, no.
Somebody we Someone we workedwith.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Right that Nicole used to get the dick from Secret
, but yeah, but he wasn't overlybig, was he bisexual?

Speaker 4 (38:09):
Matt has tried to get my seconds before.
Dave, I'm not going to lie.
Matt has tried to get myseconds.

Speaker 1 (38:12):
We're not going to mention names here Because we're
not going to get anyone introuble.
No, because he's married withchildren.

Speaker 4 (38:17):
He is married with children, but Matt has tried to
tap into my seconds before Hangon, he hit on me first.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Well, like I said, and then I kind of would happily
go there.
But yeah, I don't know if youI'd happily go there, just
because, because you said hewasn't very good.

Speaker 4 (38:32):
No, I didn't say he.

Speaker 1 (38:34):
He wasn't great.
Okay, You're putting words intomy mouth now yeah, he wasn't my
like.

Speaker 2 (38:40):
I'm all for.
Like the, you didn't have theenjoyment.
You didn't have the enjoyment,no.

Speaker 4 (38:44):
I enjoyed it, but I just like a bit more.
I want a man that's going toerr that I can sort of fight
that power with.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
Maybe he'd be better with men, because Maybe he had
really pretty hips.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
Maybe, yeah, could very well be.
Isn't that silly?

Speaker 3 (38:58):
I know, I can't describe it.

Speaker 4 (38:59):
But like he had these nice little hip bones.
Oh my God, I'm sobbing.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
I love it.
This is another conversation,here we go.
But anyway, dave, he did try totap into my seconds and I'm
like well, if you just want to.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
If you wanted to know what my pussy tastes like, just
ask me.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
You know, what.

Speaker 4 (39:17):
I mean, like you don't have to go to all of that
trouble, I'll ball it out foryou.
Matt.

Speaker 1 (39:24):
Two is enough for my lifetime.
Thank you very much.
I'm never going back to thatshit again.
But yeah, all right.
So I've got a couple ofquestions for you.
Miami, all right, all right,who would you turn?

Speaker 2 (39:38):
gay for as in lesbian gay Billie Eilish.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Billie Eilish.

Speaker 3 (39:41):
Okay, I've told you guys that, I've told you guys
that before.

Speaker 2 (39:44):
A lot of people said that as well.
Yeah, she's kind of hot.
She is hot.

Speaker 4 (39:46):
She's younger than me , so I feel like a little bit of
a it's creepy, but yeah, that'sgood, though, but not young
enough to be creepy.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
No, but like I said, you've got that vibe with her.
I'm in my 30s.

Speaker 4 (39:57):
She's in her 20s.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
It's not like taboo, taboo, but piercing eyes, that
confidence, that yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
So would you rather right with Billy, right?
Would you rather eat pussy,like eat her pussy, or get
fisted by her?

Speaker 4 (40:19):
Oh no.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
Fisting.
That's a bit rude.
Why have?

Speaker 4 (40:22):
we got to take it all the way to fisting Matt.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
Because vaginas stretch, don't they?

Speaker 4 (40:26):
I was like eat her pussy and then we go the way to
fisting that like I think it'slike I was like eat a pussy and
then we go straight into likeokay, all right, would you
rather eat her pussy or get yourpussy eaten by her?
Both, both, yeah, like I don'tthink I'm not.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
Yeah, I'm not a lesbian, but I would do the same
I'm not a lesbian either andI'm not like fond of.

Speaker 4 (40:45):
I'm going to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
I'm like oh yeah, I think they're gross.

Speaker 4 (40:48):
Me too, and I'm like I don't know.

Speaker 1 (40:50):
Why does anyone want this thing?
It's falling apart.

Speaker 4 (40:53):
But I could deal with hers.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
But would you then, if she turned around and said
Miami, would you peg me?

Speaker 4 (40:59):
Yeah, why?
Not yeah, would youally, orvaginally, Wherever you want to.
Oh, there's no question.

Speaker 2 (41:09):
Vaginally yeah, go.
Do you want me pregnant?
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 (41:12):
I'd be on all fours real quick.
Yeah, she's definitely mygirlfriend.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
Would you have a threesome with women or would
you just stick it to one-on-one?

Speaker 4 (41:22):
It would depend who it was Okay.

Speaker 1 (41:25):
Yep, yep.
So mission it would depend whoit was.
Okay, yep, yep.
So mission.

Speaker 4 (41:27):
I couldn't never have a threesome with my husband,
because I'm way too jealous.

Speaker 2 (41:31):
Oh yeah, yeah, that's understandable.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
I get that Another girl who looks sideways at him,
and you're going to fucking ripher throat out.
Oh, yeah, I'll kill her.
I'll kill her.
Yeah, you're literally rippingher throat out.

Speaker 4 (41:39):
That is a little bit hard when you've got If it was
like a different situation andit wasn't like my husband,
someone I cared about and it wasback in my younger days when I
was whoring it up big time thenyeah, probably.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
But then your husband is hot, he is very good looking
.
He's got the most beautifuleyes.
We've spoken about this amillion times.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
Yeah, maybe that's why I like Billie Eilish.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
Think about it, they've both got those piercing
blue eyes.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
Yeah, maybe, maybe.
And Piercing blue eyes yeah,maybe, maybe.
And your little boy is so cuteas well he's got these eyes.

Speaker 4 (42:09):
He's so adorable.
I'm very blessed.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
Missionary or adventurous, Like I feel like I
already know this.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
What's adventurous?

Speaker 4 (42:19):
Are we talking about after a full day of work or on a
weekend?

Speaker 2 (42:23):
It's obviously a difference there.
You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (42:25):
That's a good question.

Speaker 4 (42:30):
Okay, good answer yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
So I guess, on a weekday let's go, weekday let's
finish already.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
It just depends, probably missionaries, I'm not a
hater of missionary I enjoy it.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Yeah, no, I didn't say there was anything wrong
with it.
It's probably one of myfavourite positions to be honest
.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
You don't get any cramps that way either.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Exactly have you ever faked it just to get over with,
not with your current husbandyeah definitely, oh yeah, 100%.

Speaker 4 (42:58):
Is that just because you?

Speaker 2 (42:59):
didn't enjoy it, or you just wanted it over because
it was too long, I don't know,but sometimes sessions can go
for a long time yeah, sometimesI can, some guys oh no, but
sometimes sessions can go for along time.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
Yeah, sometimes they can Some guys just don't know
when to stop?
Not with me, dave, okay.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
But no Bitch thinks she's an expert.

Speaker 4 (43:14):
No, but yeah, I think sometimes it's like, sometimes
as a female, like if you knowyou're not going to get there
and it's nothing that they'redoing wrong.
Yeah, do you know what I mean?
Like, honestly, it's not alwayssomething they're doing wrong
as a female, but if you justknow you're not.
And it doesn't mean that sexisn't enjoyable Like I've still
loved it, but I just know I'mjust not going to get there and

(43:36):
I don't want to disappoint.
Yeah, I've done it.

Speaker 2 (43:38):
That's fair enough.
I get that.
I mean, you know.
Or if you've got the next dayworking early and you to get up
and say, okay, that's enough.
You died.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
You do it all the time, don'tyou?
Oh, I just don't bother youcan't fake it though, can you?

Speaker 2 (43:51):
Matt?

Speaker 1 (43:52):
I can, you can't.
I've got a jar of mayo by mybed, don't you?
You've had that mayo on yourback a few times, really, no,
and you couldn't tell thedifference with the smell.
He tasted it all, you knowwhere Matt finishes.
He's an aftertaster, so haveyou been with many guys that,
but this is a question for bothof you, right that have come on

(44:14):
themselves then tasted itafterwards Always.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
I've had guys that have come in me and then got
down on me.

Speaker 2 (44:22):
Oh, no, I can't do that Okay.

Speaker 4 (44:24):
It's like a guy.

Speaker 2 (44:24):
I've seen guys that come inside the other guy and
then they go down.
That's just not me at all.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
Yeah, we got one of the guys from church that did it
Like the first time he came inand he was just like no, I
couldn't do it.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
If it's not in my mouth straight away or it's not
on my chest where I can getaccess to it straight away, then
no, really, no, really, no, Ican't do it.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
It just turns me, and I'm not even a.
If it's out of your body, I'vetasted my own, can I?

Speaker 4 (44:49):
ask you a real quick how many times have you got cum
in your eye?

Speaker 2 (44:52):
In my eye oh doesn't that stink?

Speaker 4 (44:55):
Well, I thought I actually.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
I thought Matt would actually maybe go blind when we
were on the next night.
No, because this is true.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
This is true, I'm looking forward to that this
year.
Are you going this year?
Yeah, yeah, I booked ticketsNovember, november.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
You can't wait, we tried to get Clay to go on, but
he's not ready.

Speaker 1 (45:14):
He's not ready for that part yet.

Speaker 2 (45:15):
Okay, yep, yep, yep, I find that so interesting, that
Like.

Speaker 4 (45:19):
I remember the first time I met Dave, and you
introduced't been before had you, I hadn't been before.

Speaker 1 (45:28):
yeah, but, yeah, but no, that was actually from
sunscreen, though, but it turnsout, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (45:34):
I didn't get a cataract, it turned out it
wasn't.

Speaker 2 (45:37):
You didn't catch cataracts from sunscreen.
Honestly, god, I said I can'tsee properly, I'm going blind.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
And he goes you fucking dumb cunt, you just
rubbed fucking sunscreen in youreye.
Yeah, he had sunscreen in hiseye, but it does sting, it does,
it does.

Speaker 2 (45:52):
I've actually shot myself, and when I was younger I
definitely copped it in the eye.
You shot yourself in the eye,Honestly because you're quite
able to shoot big loads whenyou're younger.

Speaker 1 (46:02):
What do you mean when you're younger?
Sometimes I'm standing aside,sometimes I shoot all the way
back, right, if I'm working up,and working up, and working up.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
I can shoot boom.
Decent load.
Yeah, if you hold off and keepit going, you know you feel the
pressure.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Yeah, if you're edge or goon.

Speaker 4 (46:17):
Can you guys back to back like straight away?

Speaker 1 (46:20):
Oh, not straight away .
I need a Mars bar and cokingbetween All right Trady
Sponsored Smoke on Hashtag.
Sponsored it is, but I can.
Matt can come three or fourtimes, so I can come three or
four times in a day, no problemat all.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
I struggle these days to come once.

Speaker 4 (46:37):
sometimes I mean it depends on the pressure I put on
myself because sometimes I wantto keep, especially for females
If you are too caught up inyourself and how you look and
how you're performing and whatyou're doing, you do put
pressure on yourself.
You won't.
You just won't get there.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
And it's frustrating because you want to and I've had
it so many times and I get tothe point where I delay coming
because I'm ready to come andI'll stop because I'm enjoying
the moment.
I don't want to because I knowfor me that I probably can only
come once now, you know, ratherthan multiple times, like Matt
Studd here can right.

Speaker 1 (47:12):
So for me?

Speaker 2 (47:13):
I don't want to go there and then lose that
excitement, you know what I meanso I'll abstain, I'll stop
myself from coming.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
But then sometimes he abstains so long that he then
can't come at all To the pointwhere I'm just trying so hard,
because I would just be one ofthem, and I get frustrated and
I've got to stop because I'mmaking.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
Yeah, because you're in your head, yeah yeah yeah,
but also it makes you fuckingcock her as well, because you're
fucking.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
Can I ask it Okay, no , I have a question, go on.
And I'm going to throw this oneat you and we haven't spoke
about it, but as you've bothbeen, can I ask it?
There is a stigma that femalescannot give handjobs.
Is that true?

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Oh, look, okay, so we're talking me.
I'm like I was like 11 andmaybe 18 was the second last one
I had, right.

Speaker 4 (48:01):
Okay.
So I could honestly say there'sno chance Switching this over
to you, dave, so for me I,because there's a big stigma
that like females can't givehandjobs.

Speaker 2 (48:11):
I think it's both female and male.
Because for me I think to behonest with you, the only person
that can really get you off isyourself, because you know the
technique, you know the pressure.
It's like a girl fingeringherself.
Right?
You know yourself more thananybody how you do it.
Yeah.
So yourself, right, you know,you know yourself more than
anybody how you do it.
Yeah.
So for me, if I'm wanking off,I use certain fingers and I know

(48:31):
how, how hard, yeah, yeah,where.
If matt was a jerk me off, yes,he can get me there, but it
might take longer or it mightnot.
I have to just lose the rhythmyou're trying to find, if you
even watch some of the pornmovies as well.
I mean, the guy might bejerking him off or sucking him
off whoever, and in the end, thethe actual guy himself takes
over because it's like it's notthat I've ever watched no, no,
no, but I think that I thinkit's a more of a personal

(48:51):
personal thing, I don't think Ihad a massage therapist right.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
All right, you're happy ending so quickly then?
Because?

Speaker 2 (48:57):
they're actually pretty good at it.

Speaker 1 (48:59):
Well, maybe it's the excitement of being touched,
maybe because I love massagepeople like when you go for a
massage right as a guy right um,when you go for a massage,
right as a guy, right if you goto a massage place, and then
sometimes they'll offer theextras Never been there have to
get the name and number afterthe show.
Okay, Well, I was just about toout them on one thing.

(49:21):
No, no, I go to a place inNewtown, right, okay, and 90% of
the time I go there becauseit's one of the only places in
Sydney that you can actually gonaked right For a naked massage,
right, male Male massage right.
They do female massages.
They're female masseurs thereas well, yep, but I get a male

(49:42):
to do mine and 90% of the timethey've been really respectful
and it's just a massage, becausethat's what you're paying for,
that's what you're getting.
But occasionally they'll giveyou the little tingle and the
little touch and stuff like that.

Speaker 4 (49:54):
So how do they let you know?

Speaker 2 (49:55):
They let you know I think he lets them know by
getting an erection so big thatthey have to let you.

Speaker 1 (50:01):
So, as a female, how would you let them?

Speaker 4 (50:02):
know, Maybe just because if they, know happy
endings are a thing too.
I'm pretty sure Kyle and JackieO spoke about this, and Jackie
oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
I think it's how you put your hands.
So if you're laying down andyour hand is there rubbing
against him, it gives him anindication that you're up for it
If you're actually touching him.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Remember in Queensland Dave's massage guy
and this, and this was ashopping centre in Massard.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
We were going to see Wicked.

Speaker 1 (50:25):
Right Before that we went from Massard.
Wicked was amazing, FYI.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Matt organised it, so he went in first with a
different guy.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
Different guy, and then Dave went in.
But Dave just had his hands onthe side of the bed and so when
the masseur was walking past hewas kind of rubbing his cough on
Dave's hand.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
Do you know how many times I've had a mop on my head?

Speaker 1 (50:43):
Oh really, yeah, no, but what I'm saying is like that
was a cue, like I'm lying there, put your fingers on the side
of the bed, wiggle them aroundand they're like in front of me
and they lean over and I theirgroins pushed up against my head
.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
How do what?

Speaker 1 (50:57):
about the suction cup market on the left side of your
phone.

Speaker 4 (51:02):
I'm not like you know , I'm pretty easy going.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah, used to be just pretty easy, well Used to be.

Speaker 3 (51:09):
Are you?
Talking male massage or no,female Okay or maybe, but I've
never read into it too muchNormally with a guy.

Speaker 4 (51:18):
You can feel their genitals from the outside,
exactly, but I've never readinto it.
Iitals, you've got to form them.
I'm just like, oh, she's justtrying to lean over and reach.

Speaker 2 (51:25):
I mean, maybe just grab her hand and just stick it
in your moot and see what shedoes.

Speaker 3 (51:28):
I don't know, that's a word, moot.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
I don't know, I dropped it.

Speaker 1 (51:37):
It's very descriptive .

Speaker 4 (51:38):
It's way better than cunt and gash Gash.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
I'm going to start calling people.
You're such a moot I'm neversaying cunt again.
This doesn't seem to feel good.
Definitely, definitely,definitely, definitely,
definitely, definitely, allright.

Speaker 4 (51:58):
We're off track.
We're off track.

Speaker 1 (51:59):
No way, no way.
So we're're gonna do thissegment that we we usually we.
We started out with thissegment way back in our very
first episode, because there wasthree of us there, right?
But we couldn't do it clearly,I wasn't invited, you weren't
there at that show, right, butit's really hard to do with just
two people, so we're gonna dothis segment spit swallow gargle

(52:24):
.

Speaker 4 (52:24):
that choice is yours, two people, so we're going to
do this segment.

Speaker 1 (52:34):
That's right.
We're going to do spit, swallowand gargle with Miami and Dave
and Matt obviously as well.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
But we're giving Miami the choice.

Speaker 1 (52:41):
How this works is we're going to tell you about
three hot celebrities, right,and you're only allowed to
choose whether you're going tospit, swallow or gargle, but you
have to assign one of those toeach of those celebrities.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Now we're giving Miami the choice of the people
today.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
Well, I didn't know.

Speaker 1 (52:57):
We didn't tell her what it was for.

Speaker 4 (52:59):
Now I'm going to have a hard time choosing.
I know that's the beauty ofthis.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
So the three celebrities super hot Hollywood
hunks.
Right, we've got Jason Momoa.
Hang on.
I need to put a stipulationhere.

Speaker 4 (53:13):
Yeah, definitely With the beard.
We've spoken about this.
I don't know what he's doingshaving that beard.

Speaker 1 (53:19):
All right, Jason Momoa with the beard Right,
Charles Charlie Hooman Hunman orsomething like that?

Speaker 2 (53:26):
What's he playing?
How do you count?
You said he played Jack's.

Speaker 4 (53:29):
Sons of Anarchy.
What's his name?

Speaker 2 (53:31):
Tell us again, because Matt can't read it.

Speaker 4 (53:33):
Yeah, I'm not going to try and guess.
Okay, right.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
And then Travis Famul Fam, and then Travis Famul
Famul.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
Vikings he's Australian guys.
Okay, yep, you're going to haveto show me pictures because I
don't know who.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
I know Jason Momoa.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
Well, matt, show Dave some photos so we can
understand where my verdict iscoming from.
And then Joseph Ikora who is?
Tommy from the Power.

Speaker 4 (53:59):
Now a lot of people well, dave, you're going to look
at a photo of him and go.
He's not Nicole's, miami's type.
But, he is.
The character he plays has mecompletely Because he looks
scary to me.
Yeah, he is.
He's violent and he's rough.

Speaker 2 (54:19):
See that one down the bottom looks different.
With the grey I mean no, he'snot my type.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
No, but I think it's the charisma in the character
that he plays.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
You go a lot for not necessarily the looks, but you
go for the bad guys.

Speaker 4 (54:34):
And there's definitely definitely the rough
looking ones A lot of Tommy.

Speaker 1 (54:38):
Yeah, and who's this one?
That one's Charlie Hunman.
Oh, he's hot.
He is, and then this is thelast one.

Speaker 4 (54:48):
I know what Jason.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
Momoa looks like yeah , obviously.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
Have you seen him without his beard, though?

Speaker 1 (54:51):
I did.
He didn't look good.
No, I don't know what's hedoing.

Speaker 4 (54:54):
I don't like him.
I went from being wetter thanthe Pacific Ocean to drier than
the Sahara Desert when I sawthat photo.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
Wow, I don't know what was the reason for it.
Why did he shave?

Speaker 4 (55:03):
it, was it for a role I don't know.
There's no reason that's evergoing to be suitable on us.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
And then there's the Travis Fimmel.
Oh no, I don't do him what.

Speaker 4 (55:15):
See what about there?
Show me, show, put it down Thudone.
You want the thud one.
Look at that no no no, youreckon, he looks like Dave Dave
Dave.

Speaker 1 (55:23):
What about there in Vikings he looks like a homeless
person.
What about there in Vikings?
He looks good there.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
His eyes are piercing blue, aren't they?

Speaker 1 (55:30):
Yeah, they're beautiful, yeah in Vikings, he
looks pretty good.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
Yeah, no, he's still not my type.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Dave, I showed you him before and you were a big
fan.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
No, I don't like that one at all no, not that one at
all.

Speaker 1 (55:45):
So anyway so oh sorry , that's all right.
She's getting de-extracted Up abucket, so we're going with
four are we?

Speaker 2 (55:51):
We're going with four people.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
Four people because oh, because I couldn't choose.
Okay, Travis and Charlie verysimilar in ways, the way they
look.
And sometimes I get themconfused.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
I need to know.

Speaker 4 (56:03):
And then I couldn't pick between the two.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
I need to know which.
What was that last one Guy?

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Travis Fimble.
That's the last one, is it?

Speaker 2 (56:10):
Yeah, yeah and the one, before that the other one.

Speaker 1 (56:14):
Charlie Hummond.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
I like him yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
Right, and then Joseph Sikora.

Speaker 4 (56:20):
Who is Tommy from the Power?

Speaker 1 (56:23):
for anyone who doesn't know.
And then Jason Momoa, who weall know so, Joseph.
Sikora Right.
So who would you spit, whowould you swallow, who would you
gargle?
Now let me tell you.
I personally would think thatgargling is showing off.

(56:44):
It's like the highest praise,right?

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Spit is obviously something that you would be
least likely See.
To me, swallowing is the bestpraise.
Yeah, see, swallowing is just.
You want that baby.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
You should be swallowing everyone.
All right, Everyone should begetting swallowed.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (56:59):
I'm generally a swallowing.
Everyone, all right, everyoneshould be getting swallowed.
Yeah, I'm generally what we'regonna do with the four I'm gonna
swallow.
I don't have enough energy tospit it out, no, and the clean
up.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
So how are?

Speaker 2 (57:08):
we gonna do this.

Speaker 1 (57:08):
There's only three it's all right, you're gonna.
Maybe you can do one of them.
Can we do spit?

Speaker 4 (57:14):
swallow gargle and sm place.

Speaker 1 (57:18):
That could be good hey and smear Okay, yeah, All
right, cool Spit swallow garglesmear All right, God.
Oh, my God, I'm dying.

Speaker 4 (57:34):
This is going to be really hard.
All right.
So who are?

Speaker 1 (57:36):
you going to Okay.
So, jason Momoa, what are yougoing to do with him?
Come on.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
Look, I'm really going to the Danny Boy show you
can have this Can't, I just havethem all at once and just.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Do the whole lot with all of them.
No, you can't Just take it alland swallow some.

Speaker 2 (57:53):
But you've got to have one person that is more for
your type than the other.

Speaker 3 (57:57):
Oh, this is really hard Jason.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
Momoa.

Speaker 3 (57:59):
If I said Jason Momoa without the beard, you know
that.

Speaker 4 (58:01):
No, no, right, that's a no.
Jason Momoa behind the.
He doesn't even get in thebedroom.
He's not.

Speaker 1 (58:06):
He's not coming in the door, I know right, but with
the beard.
With the beard, aquaman.

Speaker 4 (58:13):
Dressed in his Moonman outfit and no, no, and
the character he played on Gamesof Thrones.

Speaker 2 (58:18):
Yeah, never watched it, so I wouldn't know.

Speaker 4 (58:22):
Okay, all right.
Concentrate Gargle, swallow,spit Smear.
I'm not spitting any of them.
What a fucking waste.
These are gorgeous men.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
You heard it from them I don't even know.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
All right, okay, let's go with.

Speaker 4 (58:37):
I'm not going to insult any of these men by
spitting it out.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
Who are you going to swallow?
All of them, obviously.
Travis.
Travis, you're going to swallow.
All right, you're going toswallow Travis, right?
Mm-hmm, all right.
Who are you going to gargle?

Speaker 3 (59:01):
Given that, I think gargling is the best.

Speaker 4 (59:07):
Come on Charlie.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
Charlie.
You're going to gargle, Charlie, All right, so right.
So the other obvious who areyou going to smear?

Speaker 4 (59:15):
No, no, I've changed.
I'm going to gargle Tommy fromthe power.
You're going to gargle Tommy.
Yeah, who are you going to?

Speaker 1 (59:18):
smear it's going to to gargle Tommy from the power
You're going to gargle Tommy,yeah who are you going to smear?

Speaker 4 (59:23):
It's going to have to be Jason with the beard.

Speaker 1 (59:25):
You're going to have to be smearing.
Jason.

Speaker 2 (59:27):
Okay, you're going to have to love babies all over
your body.
Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1 (59:30):
And so, then, you're going to spit, swallow, you're
going to have to spit.
Who am I spitting, charlie?
Who are you swallowing?
She's swallowing Travis.

Speaker 4 (59:41):
Oh, okay, yeah, I'll swallow that.
I'll swallow that, regurgitateit and swallow it again.

Speaker 1 (59:48):
Swallow that spit it down put it in your pores, then
pick it back out.

Speaker 3 (59:53):
Oh no, those babies are not leaving my body.
Get a straw, all right, dave,all right.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
That's a bit like pelching isn't it?

Speaker 1 (01:00:00):
Oh no, alright, dave, what are you doing?
Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:00:03):
Right, what's the first one You're going to do?

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
What are you going to do With Jason?
Jason, are you going?

Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
to yeah, yeah, jason.
I put I'm going to Gargle Jason, you're going to gargle Jason.
Yep, yep, yep and I'm going tospit.
Is it Josh, josh, joseph,joseph, yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:00:27):
You haven't watched the power.
Yeah, I'm just looking at Watchthe power and then tell me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
We're just looking at looks here Smear is Travis Yep,
and then my favorite isdefinitely going to swallow.

Speaker 3 (01:00:42):
Charlie, charlie, yeah, charlie's a good looking
guy.

Speaker 4 (01:00:45):
Have you watched Sons of Anarchy?
No, but I will be, you will be,I will be yes, there's lots of
sex scenes in it too, withCharlie Whether male or male or
just female male?
No, sorry, male and female,unfortunately, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Unfortunately for us, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:00:57):
Unfortunately for us, yes, we still get turned on by
it.
Yeah, correct, correct.
What about you, matt?

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
So I'm definitely going to gargle Charlie, because
I think he's fucking hot.

Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
I think he's hot, Really.

Speaker 4 (01:01:08):
I like Charlie and you guys.
He wasn't even in your radaruntil I said it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
But I've seen parts of Sons of Anarchy, yeah, so I'm
definitely going to definitelyhim.
I'm going to swallow Jason,right, because I think he's hot,
right, I like a big man.

Speaker 4 (01:01:26):
I'd like to think he could pick me up.
I love a big man, right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
I really do.
Yeah, big man, I like a smallman.

Speaker 4 (01:01:32):
I'm not fussy, you're not fussy, I'm not fussy, I'm
not fussy, I'm not fussy, I'mpretty rough.
So I feel like with the smallmen I'm going to hurt them.

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
Yeah, that's when you need to get the peg in too low.

Speaker 1 (01:01:41):
So then I'm going to smear Travis, yeah, because I
think he looks like he'd havenice cum as well.
Yeah, right, yeah, what Teen orthick, no it'd be thick enough,
it'd be like viscous, andapparently he's really down to
earth actually, and apparentlyhe's really down to earth
actually.

Speaker 4 (01:02:01):
Okay, he's Australian .
Okay, have you watched Vikings?

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
I've seen parts of it .
I've seen parts of it.
It's Ragnar.

Speaker 3 (01:02:08):
So yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Yeah, and then I'm obviously going to spit Joseph.
So I think collectively yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
Yeah, poor Joseph, poor Joseph.
No one wants to swallow hisbabies, unfortunately.

Speaker 2 (01:02:22):
Maybe if he was here and maybe in the present moment
he was only one maybe I would,but probably not.

Speaker 1 (01:02:28):
Yeah, I would.
So, all right, we haven'treally prepared anything for
this last segment, but we'regoing to do it anyway.
They're grumpy.

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
They're gay.
They've got something to say.
From traffic cues to crookedcues.
They'll bitch it all away.

Speaker 4 (01:02:43):
Gabe and Matt's Pet Peeves.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
So this is our Pet Peeves segment, and while I say
we haven't prepared anything,we're always fucking angry about
something or other.
I've got a whole list of thingsthat I've got.
Dave's got a list that's waybigger than mine, and Miami will
probably just find something asshe goes no doubt you two are

(01:03:07):
like grumpy old men Can.
I just say, we are.

Speaker 4 (01:03:09):
I know everyone can't see you, but yous have both put
your glasses on, yous have gotyour notepads and pens and
you're ready to.

Speaker 1 (01:03:16):
That's great.
We're fucking going Karen onthis shit it.

Speaker 4 (01:03:20):
it's like yous have had this list ready and you guys
are just like slivering overgetting it out.

Speaker 1 (01:03:24):
You know what, though ?
You know what?
Like today, we went to theshops.

Speaker 4 (01:03:29):
Oh, Dave, this could be trouble.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
This could be trouble and as soon as this happened,
I'm sitting there going that'sgone on the fucking list and
Dave's gone.
Oh, it's already on mine.

Speaker 2 (01:03:47):
So we were fighting over this so we can take it away
people on escalators ortravelators that don't stand to
the left and take up the wholefucking thing so you can't get
past them.

Speaker 1 (01:03:53):
Fucking Karen, this bitch on the fucking.
I'm calling her Karen because Ican see.

Speaker 3 (01:03:58):
I was reading her.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
Cunty Karen.
I was vibing her Mutty Karen.
No, it's Mutty Martha, muttyMartha, yeah, it's.

Speaker 4 (01:04:07):
Cunty Karen and Mutty Martha.

Speaker 1 (01:04:09):
We should write children's books.
Oh my God.

Speaker 3 (01:04:13):
Top sellers.

Speaker 2 (01:04:13):
Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
This bitch would have been the kind of person on a
bloody local Facebook mum's pageto complain about the people
behind her trying to get pastRight.
I could just feel her writing apost saying so she had a pram.
I was at Penrith today andthese guys wanted to get past on
an escalator.
I could just feel the slagfucking.
Well, she was with her mother.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Yeah, and the feral children and the children, yeah,
but she, instead of standingbehind her in front so they
could talk face to face and bepolite and courteous as normal
people are, stand to the leftand you can pass.

Speaker 4 (01:04:47):
Look, yeah, Generally it's like rule of thumb.
You just sort of like she hadevery indication that people
were trying to get past.

Speaker 2 (01:04:54):
She just stood there and just oh, look at my children
and all this.

Speaker 4 (01:04:58):
She's definitely a muddy Martha yeah, she was
definitely yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
I might just want to throw her off the escalator yeah
, I wanted to punch her in theface on I would never.
I would never into violence.

Speaker 2 (01:05:07):
We both looked at each other and we said and we,
we looked at each other and wesaid podcast, yep, yep, straight
away Podcast, for sure, forsure.
Okay, so what about you, matt?

Speaker 1 (01:05:16):
What else did?
What else Like not wiping downcounters after cooking?

Speaker 3 (01:05:21):
right.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
I'm sorry, let's talk about you know, hang on.

Speaker 4 (01:05:25):
hang on First stop.
Let's just address the elephantin the room.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
Since when does Matt ever fucking cook in the first
place.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
I'm a fucking great cook.
He did say that.

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
Other than putting something in the air fryer what
counties.
Are you cooking on?
So I'm talking okay.

Speaker 1 (01:05:41):
So if I'm at work, for example, this is probably
where I'm talking about morethan anything else, because I
feel like I'm and again youmight be right, I don't cook
often.
No, you don't.
When I say might be right, Imean you are right.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
So it's technically you that's You've got other
skills.

Speaker 4 (01:05:56):
Other skills man However.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
I've got plenty of other skills, but here at home
there's never an issue becauseI've got like those little wipes
that freaking In your topdrawer.

Speaker 4 (01:06:06):
It was you that actually brought them over, I
know.

Speaker 3 (01:06:11):
I was about and then also.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
Brittany had them at her house as well.
Yes, she did, and I sat thereand I go wow, I need those in my
life.
So you guys are never going tobe responsible for this, but
especially at work.
I'll walk in there and I thinkto myself I don't have to do
this at home because, number one, I never cook, so they never
get dirty, right, but I havetons of these wipes everywhere
in my home.
But here I come to work andI've got a fucking clean up

(01:06:36):
after adults.
I'm thinking it grinds my gears.
Sorry, sucks.
But yeah, I'm not fazed by it.

Speaker 2 (01:06:44):
What have you got Miami?
I just wipe it off to myself.

Speaker 4 (01:06:46):
I'll let Dave go, because I don't really.
I wasn't prepared for this, soI'd rather just like, sort of
like.

Speaker 2 (01:06:51):
Chime in, chime in.
They're just like sort of likechime in, chime in.
As you all know, one of my petpeeves is always traffic related
problem always or noise.
On this week's pet peeve I'vegot people that fucking take up
two parking slots that can'tpark properly.
They either park halfway overthe line or so tight on the line
that you can't get your car inthe next slot to it especially.

Speaker 4 (01:07:10):
I've got quite a big bum yep so there's nothing worse
it's very curvy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
It's nice.
I want to see big bums.

Speaker 4 (01:07:17):
It's very nothing worse than trying to squeeze out
and in.

Speaker 2 (01:07:20):
But you've also got to get your child out of the car
as well.

Speaker 4 (01:07:23):
Oh no, I leave him in when I go shopping.

Speaker 3 (01:07:26):
No, I'm joking, I'm joking.

Speaker 1 (01:07:27):
Totally joking.
I'm totally joking.
I only leave him in when I goto the casino.

Speaker 4 (01:07:32):
No, that's right, and the brothel no, seriously no.
But there's nothing worse thantrying to like and it's like.
Oh, I'm trying to hold the door, trying to suck everything in.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
But when you can see it's purposely done.
They just turned in and haven'tbothered to even check in.
You know what I mean If I knowthat I'm close to a line or an
edge.
I mean if I know that I'm closeto a line or an edge.

Speaker 4 (01:07:57):
I'll make sure I reverse back and get properly
into the slot.

Speaker 2 (01:08:02):
And we all know grandma over here would, also
because there's a thing todaythat happened with Matthew.

Speaker 3 (01:08:07):
We went to Mr.

Speaker 2 (01:08:08):
Watkins for breakfast , matt decided he was going to
park in two slots.

Speaker 1 (01:08:12):
Hang on, what do?

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
you mean.

Speaker 1 (01:08:13):
Hang on Inadvertently .

Speaker 4 (01:08:16):
Did you have your glasses on Grandma?

Speaker 1 (01:08:17):
Yeah, but I parked right.
I drove in to the spot rightbecause there was a big space
right.
But then I tried to drive upright and I got as close to the
car in front of me as I possiblycould and I'm sitting there and
I'm going like and you got out,I got out and I've got this
stupid car in front of me right,it's taken up one and a half
spots right, so it's pushed meback, Pushed me back right.

(01:08:41):
So I said, I can't even park inmy spot.
So I said to my wife what doyou have to reverse?
Dave said well, why don't youjust reverse into the actual
whole spot that is behind you?
Then I a lady standing in hercar and she just chuckled and
she just sort of nodded, as ifsaying yeah you could have done
that dickhead.

Speaker 2 (01:08:56):
So it was funny because I've sitting there going
, but you didn't leave it there,so that was good.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
I didn't.
I got back in and actuallymoved it into that spot, because
that actually did make sensethere.
But yeah, but parking in twospots is a bit of a bitch as
well.

Speaker 4 (01:09:11):
I've got one.
I've just thought of one, andit's for all the mums out there
yeah so I know I don't know howmany mums are listening, but
it's about thousands.
Pet peeve is being the defaultparent oh so I don't know if you
know where I'm going with this,but being the so, my husband is
a tradie yep so it's not bychoice, it's not because he's

(01:09:35):
lazy, it's not anything likethat, but I obviously work in a
job where my work is moreflexible.

Speaker 1 (01:09:43):
Yep Not for long.
I mean the flexibility's gone,not the job.

Speaker 4 (01:09:48):
Yes, but the issue is with that comes a lot more
responsibility.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:09:55):
I'm the one.

Speaker 1 (01:09:56):
The childcare center calls.

Speaker 4 (01:09:58):
Yes, I'm changing my meetings when I need to do
childcare pick up.

Speaker 2 (01:10:02):
Do you feel resentful though?

Speaker 4 (01:10:04):
Sometimes you do.

Speaker 2 (01:10:05):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes you don't.
It's not a nasty thing to thinkabout, though.

Speaker 4 (01:10:08):
No, so I'm doing the drop off every day and getting
myself ready and bubs ready anddoing daycare drop-off and
trying to get to the meetings.

Speaker 2 (01:10:17):
I do have a high.

Speaker 4 (01:10:18):
I know you wouldn't believe it, but I have a pretty
important job you do.
Trying to get to the meetingsin time, trying to prepare.

Speaker 1 (01:10:25):
Running the brothel is very important.

Speaker 4 (01:10:28):
Nothing more important than being a madam.

Speaker 2 (01:10:30):
I can slightly correlate to that because
obviously, when I was in myworst state, when I was in
injury.
I wasn't really working sopredominantly I was looking
after Adam and he was like kindyand also, like you know,
primary school years and I feltthat I was doing everything.
Going home cooking, I feltexhausted.

(01:10:51):
I mean, obviously my ex, shewas working, but when she came
home I was like please,obviously my ex.
She was working like yeah yeah,but when she came home I was
like, please take over, but itnever happened, I mean, but you
feel, that, that resentmentthing.

Speaker 4 (01:11:00):
Well, you're not.
You're not putting in, but theyare, they are putting it in.
They are, and it's not theirchoice.

Speaker 2 (01:11:04):
No, exactly right, and that's exactly it it's just
not their choice, but it'snaturally a woman's, so it's
always pushed on the percent.

Speaker 4 (01:11:12):
An example this week would be that my little one was
unwell and couldn't go todaycare.

Speaker 2 (01:11:16):
Yep, so you sacrificed everything.

Speaker 4 (01:11:18):
Well, there was no conversation, there was no she
thought it was medically assumed.
It was like well, I can workfrom home, so I'm going to work
and I'm going to stay home andI'm going to look after him.
Yep, and it's just that.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
it's just having that default.
It's taken for granted, isn'tit?

Speaker 4 (01:11:33):
yeah, it's that default parent role yeah and
it's not to say, it's anintentional and it's not to say
that my husband does it onpurpose, because he does it and
he's an extremely hard worker.
Yeah, but it's just and he'scute it's.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
It's just about like when you would get that all the
time automatically automatically, because I know that I've
spoken with friends that they'rethe ones that always get the
phone call yeah, 100 why don'tyou call my husband?

Speaker 2 (01:12:06):
he's on the list yeah , 100 it's almost like being a
single parent, I suppose, and tosome degree, because you're
left with all the responsibility.
Yeah, well, it is I mean work,child and everything else, so
it's exhausting.

Speaker 4 (01:12:18):
Yeah, it is, especially when you just know
like there's no conversation.

Speaker 2 (01:12:22):
It's just you.
I get that.
Yeah, yeah, Definitely for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:12:25):
So that's my pet peeve, that's good.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
Very valid.

Speaker 2 (01:12:35):
Very, and you're going to relate to this and
obviously you'll relate to itfrom a different perspective
because you've been a mum whenyou go to pubs or clubs and they
have children.

Speaker 4 (01:12:40):
Be very careful, Dave .

Speaker 2 (01:12:42):
I know we had this conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:12:43):
Be very careful, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:12:45):
but you'll understand , but you won't be one of these
people.

Speaker 4 (01:12:48):
That will do this.
You know me as a mum.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
An example we went out to a pub the other day.

Speaker 1 (01:12:54):
Is this my pet peeve from last week?
No, the loud child that wasscreaming.
We didn't mention that I did itwas screaming.
No, it couldn't have been lastweek actually, because we didn't
do one Exactly Fucking idiot.
Sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:13:07):
So, yes, this is your pet peeve as well, but we
didn't do a podcast.
So basically, we're at this puband they had a party going on
for a five year old, hadmultiple kids there and these
kids, initially, were wellbehaved, playing on the games
and then decided to have thebirthday cake ceremony.
Well, holy fucking shit, thesekids were fucking feral.
They were screaming, but theirparents were stood there and

(01:13:29):
doing nothing right one of themothers had the fucking knife in
her hand and she was likepointing at the kid, telling him
to shut the fuck up, give thekid sugar.

Speaker 4 (01:13:41):
It's exorcism.
You need a fucking exorcism.

Speaker 2 (01:13:44):
What happened was one woman took this devil of a kid
and I will only describe thisdevil of a kid right, and I'm
not joking.
She then brought it and stoodright behind this kid laid on
his back and had in the tantrumand I'm like, fuck, right out of
my space please can't you takeit to the poker a little bit?
further away to right in myspace now and I was like fuck,

(01:14:06):
this is doing my fucking head in.
Please get the fuck out of it.
You know I mean.
So I know you're morerespectful and you would have
taken your kid out.
Yeah, back to the car you wouldhave said that's enough but
your kid wouldn't do that,though, because your kid's a
little bit more respectful.
Too well, you brought him upenough to look.
You would hope, but and hecan't control everything.

Speaker 4 (01:14:26):
It's like everything no and he does have tantrums.
Yes, he's just turned four, sohe can have quite a few tantrums
when he wants to, especially ifhe's overtired.

Speaker 2 (01:14:37):
But you dealing with it would be more.
You know you would take himoutside.

Speaker 4 (01:14:40):
Oh no, I just would have left and pretend he's not
mine.

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
High five that way.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
Yeah, pickle, pickle, I get that.
Yeah, so that was a bit ofpeople.

Speaker 2 (01:14:51):
I mean because I you know I think no, I get it.
So that was a better people.
I mean cause I you know I wasbeing.
I think no, I get it.

Speaker 4 (01:14:54):
When I was single, I hated love God.
I used to call them lovegoblins.

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Goblins, goblins, goblins, goblins.
Yeah, they should have beengobbled, yeah, cause they're
just like these little and ILess tolerant to noise and stuff
.

Speaker 2 (01:15:12):
I'm a cranky old man.
You are a cranky old man, I'm amuff.

Speaker 1 (01:15:14):
Cranky muff.
Cranky mutt, mutt Cranky muff.

Speaker 4 (01:15:18):
He can be a muddy Martha, sometimes Muddy.

Speaker 1 (01:15:20):
Martha, muddy Martha, I think that's our pet peeves
and that's pretty much our show,yep.

Speaker 2 (01:15:29):
It's definitely been a long one.
We've chatted a lot.
I You've enjoyed it.
It's great, yeah it was veryconfronting.

Speaker 4 (01:15:34):
I'm not going to lie Like the microphone in the face.

Speaker 2 (01:15:37):
You've done very well .

Speaker 4 (01:15:38):
The only way I can describe it is you know, the
first time you have like a cockin your face and you just don't
know what to do with it and it'slike intimidating.

Speaker 1 (01:15:44):
I can't remember back to when I was 11.

Speaker 4 (01:15:50):
Intimidating, confronting, and it's just like
at the start.
But you've done very well.

Speaker 1 (01:15:52):
Great to have you on, so thank you.
You're welcome any time.

Speaker 4 (01:15:56):
I'll send you my bill .

Speaker 1 (01:15:59):
You got paid in fucking wedges.

Speaker 4 (01:16:00):
I was going to say you got paid in wedges, but you
bought the wedges Hang on Allright.

Speaker 1 (01:16:06):
So I've been Matt, I've been Dave, as usual.

Speaker 4 (01:16:08):
And I'm Miami.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
Bye, we've been your Fully Grown Homos and we look
forward to opening your mind,your ears and your curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
podcast with your curiousfriends.
You can contact us atFullygrownhomospodcast at
gmailcom or any of our socialsby the same name.
Fully Grown Homos Podcast you.

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