April 19, 2025 • 44 mins
Missing a few episodes because life got in the way? We're back and better than ever with a candid catch-up session that dives deep into both our personal journeys and some fascinating sex-positive history!
Dave takes us through his recent medical adventures following his hospitalization. From the slightly uncomfortable but necessary cystoscopy procedure (with a hot doctor, naturally) to brain scans and prostate discussions, he shares these experiences with the perfect balance of humor and helpful information. Meanwhile, I (Matt) open up about my recent mental health challenges while adjusting to a new professional role. The irony wasn't lost on me that I teach others to ask for help yet couldn't follow my own advice—a reminder that we're all works in progress, no matter how self-aware we think we are.
The conversation takes a fascinating historical turn when we explore the surprising origins of sex toys throughout human civilization. Did you know the oldest discovered dildo dates back 28,000 years to the Neolithic period? Or that Ancient Greeks apparently used olive oil-soaked breadsticks for pleasure? Our journey through dildo history from stone artifacts to steam-powered Victorian devices had us both laughing and learning.
Our popular "Letter of the Day" segment returns with P-themed words that spark discussions about everything from pearl necklaces to public sex, with personal anecdotes that only fully grown homos could share. We wrap up by tackling the age-old question of whether gay men typically have sex on first dates, offering our candid thoughts on how hookup culture and dating intersect in today's world.
Got questions about gay life or topics you're curious about? We want to hear from you! Message us on Instagram @FullyGrownHomosPodcast or email us at fullygrownhomospodcast@gmail.com. Nothing is off limits!
If you want to send us a question or would like our thoughts on a particular topic you can contact us at Fullygrownhomospodcast@gmail.com or contact us on any of our socials at Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our
adventures as fully grown homosnavigating today's world full
of inquisitive friends,questions about gay life and the
unexplored activities of a lifelived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics
we don't even know yet, as wewant your input into what you
want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom or messageany of our socials.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Fully Grown Homos with Dave and Matt.
(00:55):
On this week's episode, we'regoing to do things slightly
different, Matt we are, we are,and I'll work out exactly how
that're going to do thingsslightly different.
Matt, we are, we are, and I'llwork out exactly how that's
going to happen now.
We have been off track, so wedo apologize, but we're
hopefully back now.
We've been busy, busy boysdoing lots of stuff and having
(01:16):
lots of stuff happen.
Dave, what's been happening inyour world?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
well, moving forward from my hospitalization, as we
discussed in the last one was.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That was our last one , wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, so about three weeks ago.
I'm feeling a lot better inmyself.
Obviously, I've had a few moretests that have had to be done.
You're not pregnant no,unfortunately.
So I'm sorry that I can't giveyou another kid, another kid.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Fuck off, I don't have any.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I'm sure you've got some running.
Mine will go down in the drainor up a bum.
We've all discussed this.
Yeah, um, no.
So yeah, I had to go and have aprocedure called a cystoscopy.
Have you ever?
Heard of cystoscopy.
I hadn't until you told me allabout it, yeah, so it's quite a
simple procedure, but thewaiting time was just such a
long time for me because I hadlike 10 other people going
through both, both men and women, mostly men all right.
(02:01):
So how hot was your doctor,though oh look, the doctor was
extremely hot, as usual, youknow, you can't, you can't, uh,
you can't not have.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And what did he do, though?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
so basically the whole, the whole um procedure is
basically inserting the camerainto your bladder and then where
did they go, dave?
So I'll talk about that in aminute, just wait there.
So they put, they put camerainside your bladder, check you,
know your your make sure thatthere's no untowards things such
as cancer or polyps or cysts oranything else that shouldn't be
(02:30):
there.
Basically, if they are, theytake biopsy samples, send them
away and then hopefully get backto you with positive results,
hopefully.
So I got taken to the procedureI had to empty my bladders
prior to going in, taken intothe uh, the procedure, um, I had
to empty my bladders prior togoing in, um, and basically what
they do is they insert thiscamera.
(02:50):
It's like it's very, very small.
You can't even see.
It's like a like it's almostlike a piece of thread.
You know, I mean it's thatsmall, but it's got a camera on
the end of it and they have toinsert that through your urethra
.
Now, obviously, your japsbefore that they have to numb it
.
So they don't give you a generalanesthetic, they give you a
local anesthetics.
You wait for the wholeprocedure.
So do they put a needle in yourdick?
(03:12):
Not really, no.
So what they do is they put likea numbing gel so they may have
used that myself yeah, soobviously, because I've got, I'm
uncircumcised, so I had to pullback my foreskin and basically
then use this like cotton, sortof like bud, with um, it's like
a cooling gel, it's like it'slike, well, it's like a cold,
sensational um feeling, yep.
And then what they then have todo is then they have to insert
(03:34):
this gel inside your penal entry, right so, and that can be
quite uncomfortable becausethey're forcing this gel
especially when the hot doctor'ssitting there stroking you fore
forcing backward forward andagain, that is quite common for
guys to get erections becauseobviously the sensation is
someone else they did tell youin the pre-op that you may have
to get erect.
Yeah, sometimes they do to getthe camera down there, because
(03:56):
obviously sometimes it's alittle bit awkward when they
can't hold you've got a decentsized dick, so well they didn't
need to do that, so anyway.
So he then put this numbing geldown, which was again a little
bit uncomfortable because it'smore so to do with the pressure
side, not not the sensation ofthe actual gel itself, and
basically he then pushes thecamera inside, but because your
(04:17):
bladder is deflated, becauseit's making side, you've got
like a vacuum effect.
So you're pushing against likea vacuum and it's like causes
resistance, if that makes sense.
So you've got like a vacuumeffect, so you're pushing
against like a vacuum and it'slike causes resistance, if that
makes sense.
So you've got to try and likestimulate is, if you're peeing,
you need to try and pee, butalso at the same time what
they're also doing is, asthey're putting the camera down,
they're putting like salinesolution into into your bladder
(04:40):
as well.
So it's like a double sort oflike um.
So you've got the camera, you'vegot yeah, it's like a double
tube, and the larger tube is themore comfortable part of it.
So you've got a little cameraattached and then the tube goes
in.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I've never done sounding, but I'm guessing that
wouldn't well exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Well, it would be like a sounding, sort of like
tool, I suppose, in terms of thesound, the size of it.
So if you ever don't, if youknow what sounding is, we can
talk about sounding is basicallywhen you're shoving something
up the eye of your cock.
Yeah, and it can be quite likea metal rod or something like
that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I mean, it's not necessarily nice, well, it's, I
don't, it's not for me.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So the only way I could describe it, it'd be like
a the size of a pen, slightlysmaller than the pen, just
slightly smaller.
So, yeah, so that goes downthrough your uh, your japs, eye,
basically, and the fluid thatthey're pumping into your
bladder.
The saline solution helps withthe lubrication side as well,
but you have this naturalreaction anyway to pee.
And the doctor said to me justfeel like you're going to toilet
(05:32):
.
I said, well, will I pee?
He goes well, no, you've gotnothing to pee anyway.
So he said it's not a problem,it won't come out.
So eventually the camera goesdown and as he's going down he
can see sort of things like youcan see my prostate and stuff
like that, which is pretty cooland I can see this.
I was watching the screen and hewas describing to me exactly
what was going on.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
He wouldn't video it listeners.
I did ask him to video it forme so I could watch it back.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
So anyway, so he eventually gets inside the
bladder, has a good look around,shows me the two kidney entries
, which is really interesting.
So he's like spinning thiscamera around on this, like
remote control stickers got,yeah, like a roller coaster,
it's like a virtual reality,it's like a worm that goes
around around.
So if they did want to go andinvestigate your kidneys they
can go up that little tube andinto that.
So there's pretty clever, butmy bladder seemed very, very
(06:12):
good.
He said that your bladder looksreally healthy, it looks really
cool.
He said um, but I said he saidthat I can see your prostate.
Um is quite prominent in yourbladder wall line, you know I
mean.
So he said that could be aproblem that could be causing
irritation to your bladder.
So he said look, I need you togo back and see one of my
colleagues in six weeks time tohave discussion on procedures to
(06:35):
shave your prostate.
So I don't know what theprocedures are, I've never
looked at it, but they canactually shave your prostate
because I've got an enlargedprostate, which is normal for
people of my age or our age, um,but obviously I don't get
tested, but it's obviouslycausing me more irritation and
problems.
So there is a procedure thatthey'll check your prostate.
Obviously they'll just check forcancer, but obviously all my
(06:56):
blood tests and also what he saw, he said, look there's nothing
everything come back fine, um,but they just said, you know,
for your own sort of like um,comfortableness and also going
on with your health problems,you know, I mean we can probably
shave some of your prostatedown to make it less prominent
in that regard, so hopefully youwon't need to go to toilet as
often as well.
(07:17):
Yeah, um, so, yeah, so that wasthat procedure that went fine.
I mean, I won't know theresults until I've spoken to my
my GP, because obviously he'llhave to describe all this to me
and what the procedures are.
But I mean that's what thesurgeon told me, so I pretty
much got an idea what was goingon, you know.
I mean I wasn't worried yeah,and obviously yeah then
obviously I had to go for mybrain and orbital scan and my
(07:38):
ultrasound yeah, I did, I wasactually looking at a few of the
photographs today on the actualum castle ray website, imaging
um thing and yeah, I canactually see my brain.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
So I told dave he should actually have one really
enlarged and printed up and putinto all different colors.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
But the whole reason for me having the brain scan was
not for my brain, it'sbasically for my eyes.
So the ophthalmologist wantedto see what's causing the fluid
buildup behind my retina whichis causing a problem with my
vision in my right eye after mycataract replacement.
Yep, so yeah.
So again I mean I won't know,don't get old listeners.
So yeah, so again I mean Iwon't know, don't get old
listeners.
No, no, it is, it's fucked.
Yeah.
So basically I won't knowanything until I've spoken to
(08:18):
him what the outcome of that is,because I mean I can't diagnose
like a CT scan myself.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Oh, but you certainly can try.
Oh yeah, Dr Google will tellyou all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
We know that you do it.
He said I just shave my headsometimes, yeah.
So I said to him when I had myback operation.
He looked at me and goes oh myGod, I hope you didn't.
I said I did.
And he goes oh my God, yeah.
He said that's not a good sign.
I said no, it's not.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, Dr Google.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Don't use Dr Google no of my neck just to check.
My blood vessels were open andenough oxygen was getting
through to my brain andeverything else, and you know
the arterial flow was good, soyou're fighting fit.
Yeah, so I've been tested tothe max this week um done some
more renovation stuff.
(09:03):
Um, obviously, so wait for mybuilders to get back because
they've been away.
Um, yeah, so that's pretty muchmy week your house is coming
along really, really nicely.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I went and checked it out the other week and not
quick enough for me, though it'syeah, yeah, we want it done
already.
Obviously, everyone wants itdone, um, but it's coming along
really nicely and I can see thevision and it's coming to
fruition and, like every, every,all the changes you've actually
made to the, to the layout,look fucking spectacular and
it's just yeah, it's justamazing, but, yeah, it's all
(09:32):
coming along really quickly,yeah so, yeah, and what about
yourself, matt?
my week's been a bit rough, soI've had a few rough weeks just
with um, settling into my newrole and stuff like that.
Um, I've been in my job for along time and I'm very good at
my job and when I'm trying tolearn something new, I'm pretty
much my own worst critic and Ibasically was going super hard
(09:56):
on myself and sort of not givingmyself the time to learn new
line new, new things and stufflike that.
So I was in a bit of a roughplace mentally for a couple of
weeks.
There.
We could all see that andeveryone could see that and it
was just like and it wasn't,wasn't great, but I couldn't
snap myself out of it andthankfully I have my friends and
family around me, um more so myfriends and my friends that I
(10:20):
call family, um, so yeah, theywere all there for me, which was
always very supportive, but itwas just a rough, rough few
weeks.
I'm back now.
I'm back to being my awesomeself, um, and yeah, it's finally
a lot of it's finally clickedin.
I've finally learned that I'mactually allowed to ask for help
, which is really stupid,because I know better than
(10:42):
anyone, because I teach thiswhen I'm teaching, because so
I'm in like yeah, I'm in theretail space, but I'm in the
training and development sort ofretail space for a lot of it
and and I'm forever tellingpeople ask you don't need to
know what you don't know, youneed to know who does know that
right, and sort of use thepeople on.
You do all that kind of stuff.
(11:03):
And but I've just got reallyshitted it for a few moments
there and forgot that I couldactually ask a question but the
whole process of learning is byasking questions yeah, I know.
Imagine that I know right.
Imagine that, hey, I know right.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Imagine that.
And how many times did we tellyou that?
Oh, shut up, I know, but youare but.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I am very self-sufficient.
You are, and I have beenself-sufficient my entire life.
So the thing is that it wasjust my brain just snapped and
then I remembered again that,hey, this is how you actually
get by and this is how youactually do get better.
But yeah, so I'm in a lotbetter place and feeling great,
(11:40):
and hence why we've actuallysort of come back to this
because I was in the rightheadspace and stuff like that to
do this.
Welcome back, mate, because youhave to be in the right
headspace to have fun and enjoyand bring some positivity.
Otherwise, it's going to comeover the airwaves and you're
going to sound like a miserablecunt.
Um, but yeah, which is yeah,but this week we're going to
talk about some fun stuff.
(12:01):
We've incorporated a few of ourold segments that we're going to
do, but we're going to do somenew ones.
We're going to do some listenerquestions.
If you do have listenerquestions, hit us up at any of
our socialsfullygrownhomerspodcast, shoot
us on our instagram boxes andfacebook or I don't really
monitor facebook, so just go toinstagram, it's much easier or
(12:24):
you can email us atfullygrownhomerspodcast at
gmailcomau.
I think it is.
Anyway, I'll put that in thetag.
Anyway, I can't remember.
We haven't used the email for along time either, so hit us up
by the instagramfullygrownhomelesspodcast at our
insta, yeah at our insta forany questions you want to send
(12:47):
in.
But, dave, we were looking alittle bit of content that we
wanted to actually bring andwe're doing some research and
stuff like that and we thoughtwe'd have a look at some fun
stuff.
And yeah, we've come acrosssomething called dildo.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Facts and stories is what we're going to cover up.
It's all fun facts, but dildois part of one of the
conversations.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah but today we wanted to talk about dildos, and
it was quite when we did someresearch on this it.
It was quite fun and quitehistorical.
Yeah, so, dave, take it away.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
So basically, matt, when we were doing some research
, we discovered that the oldestdildo in the world so far as
we've been able to find outthrough archaeologists and
evidence of history, it datesback to 28,000 years BC.
It dates back to 28 000 yearsbc.
(13:40):
So you're talking like the p?
Uh, the uh, the uh, theneolithic um, you know period
where cavemen were around, yeah,and they discovered this, this
first um?
Um dildo, phallic, phallic,yeah, um 30 000 years ago it was
.
It was actually carved and itwas found in a German cave in
2005.
When you say carved, carved outof what?
(14:00):
Well, this is it.
So you know, it was a highly.
They were saying that theobject itself was highly
polished and it was made of astone phallic-shaped material.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So yeah, somebody's getting their rocks off, so I
wonder if that's where thatcomes from.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It could very well be .
I mean, all these analogiesthat we have getting your rocks
off, could very well mean thatcould be.
You know, we'll have to googlethat and find out we'll find
that out one day, but yeah, sobasically you know they it was
highly polished as well.
So this is like so bizarre thatyou know neolithic people in
germany back 30 000 years agowere actually using stones to
fuck themselves with.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, well, it's freaking awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And there was another one you said that was actually
yeah, so moving on, obviously,this is just obviously the very
first one that they found theold one and there's actually a
picture of it online as well, soI keep going off mic a little
bit um, and you know, moving onit's got.
The ancient greeks were alsovery much into using objects.
Now I only discovered this bitthis morning.
(14:57):
Yep, right, and it says I'lljust read the narrative.
It says the ancient greeks knewall about the joys of um olive
oil long before jamie olivermade it cool, but what they were
actually doing was anything butusing anything.
But they were using extravirgin olive oil with
obelisk-like objects were usedas dildos.
The most common of this wasbreadsticks.
(15:20):
Yep, used in Greek before 5 BC,so before any obelisk sort of
like Any shape, shape, yeah wasinvented.
These breadsticks were used,dipped in olive oil and used for
self-pleasuring Forself-pleasure there you go so
bread does bring pleasure,whether or not.
(15:40):
I don't know if they ate it.
Maybe that's another thingeating out someone.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Oh maybe they left the bread in there and they
thought I better go and get that.
Um, yeah, who knows?
yeah, I'm just trying to like,I'm gonna duck down to my
baker's delight, I'll be back ina second.
Um, no, I'm trying to duck downto my baker's delight, I'll be
back in a second.
No, I'm trying to work outwhether, see, because unless you
left that breadstick to getstale first and pretty hard,
(16:04):
well you'd have to really bakeit hard.
I'm just trying to think how itwould work.
Well, it'd be crusty, wouldn'tit.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, that would hurt , wouldn't it?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Well, see, this is the thing is you actually
brought up the other week, whenwe were discussing this, you
brought up the one that was madeof wood and I sat there and I
went.
That would give you splinters.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
And so I'm trying to work out how that would feel and
I'm just thinking Well, they'dhave to sand it down, wouldn't
they?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Well?
Speaker 1 (16:33):
but from bread though , like if you're talking about a
loaf of bread right Now, ifwe're going in the front, if
you're a lady using thisbreadstick with the olive oil,
exactly Right, it would getmoist, it would get soggy, so it
would disintegrate, potentiallybecause women get moist Right.
Wet, yeah, some get really wet.
Yeah, I just threw up in my ownmouth a bit there.
(16:56):
That's gross, but would it notget soggy?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Of course it would.
Yeah.
The thing is, how do you stopeven breaking as well,
especially if it's like you'vegot a new re-tide?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Maybe that's where the term breaking bread came
from as well.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
We love to Google all these things.
We're discovering all theselittle quotes from history.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
But yeah, but if you did it anally as well, I wonder
if they used biscuits.
Is that what I said?
You could have a shit sandwich.
I wonder if they used biscuits.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
That's where taking the biscuit was as well.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh, a shit sandwich.
I've just like.
I have so many questions onthis and so many that I don't
want answered.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
We need to do.
Food facts, yeah, food facts,fun food facts Gay facts
Breadsticks With olive oil.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
It's not something I would use.
I've used butter in the pastwhen I fuck somebody, but I've
not used olive oil.
Olive oil would be fine.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'd use Popeye.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
The breadstick would be Somewhat interesting.
Moving on from that, the firstmodern dildo is the breadstick.
The breadstick would be, yeah,somewhat interesting.
What else you got?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
there.
So yeah.
So, moving on from that, thefirst modern dildo was invented
in france in 1734.
Was it also a bread?
No, it was actually called thethermosa.
The thermosa, yeah, and it wasa handheld wound up vibrator
that operated the same way asyou know.
Know, when you get the eggwhisks Yep, yep yep, it's like
(18:17):
that.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
So, as you're winding it, it would like spin round
and round and round, yeah, yeah,yeah, okay, that's pretty nifty
.
So would it be a one-personoperator, because again you'd
have to be pretty nimble to windthe egg feeder.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Well, you'd hope that you shaved yourself because you
wouldn't get your fucking pubescaught in there, would you?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Wow, ouch, yeah, but back in those days they kept
everything hairy and bushy.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
But could you imagine the friction as well?
I don't know what it was madeof.
It doesn't say what it was madeof.
I'm assuming it was made oflike either 1734, so you're
talking wood or you're going tobe talking something.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah, it wouldn't be latex at that stage in something
, it wouldn't be latex at thatstage, it would become some kind
of hard material.
Yeah, wow, okay, so that's,that's um interesting, isn't it
very interesting?
So the french, french havealways been frisky, oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Um, yeah, we know that.
And then obviously then moveson oh sorry, yeah, so handheld
whisk use control, hysteria,which is hysteria.
That's why hysteria comes.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
That's right, because masturbation was frequently
used as a control of mentalillness.
Exactly, that's right.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
And that's where hysteria comes from you don't
need a.
Latin word for it.
In 1869, a guy called GeorgeTaylor then created a
steam-powered vibrator.
And that was called themanipulator, the manipulator
that would give you burns, andthat was followed in 1880 by the
(19:42):
electromagnetical vibrator, aninvention, invention developed
in um, sorry, an invention, um,duplicated in the movie called
hysteria.
So the movie hysteria was aboutthat, that dildo, it was about
that electromagnetical vibrator.
So the whole thing was builtaround that.
It was about hysteria.
You know, I'll have to go backand watch that one, and you know
(20:05):
what the greek terminology forhysteria is.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
No, it means uterus well, that makes sense, because
women are hysterical yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
so when they say crazy way, I mean not exactly,
I'm joking, girls I love you arehysterical yeah, so when you
say In a crazy way I meanExactly, I'm joking girls.
I love you.
You know that.
So when you say everybody'shysterical, it means they're all
fucking vaginas or they're alluteruses.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
They're all a bunch of uteruses.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
They're all a bunch of cunts.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, you cunts are hysterical.
Yeah, no word.
Dildo comes from the latin wordmeaning dilate or open up.
Okay, so there you go.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
So see, today's a school day, every day's a school
day, kids, and the classicrubber dildo didn't come around
until the mid 90s, so the mid1880s.
And then again I put downbreadsticks we use while the
greeks use it 1880s, so that'spretty early on.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
So we've been self-fucking fora long time, absolutely For a
long long time, and I'm okaywith that.
How many dildos have you got,dave?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I've only got about three, but there's one that I
never used, which we obviouslytalked about before, which is
the 747.
The 747, which is they boughtit online and it came, and it
was it looked really cool online, yeah, but when I got it it was
like a torpedo, enormous.
It was like you know, somethingthat you'd actually put in your
back yard and send it to space.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's like your forearm it was.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Yeah, it's as big as my forearm, so it's been sort of
like gathering dust in mycupboard ever since Never been
seeing the day and it's neverbeen seen that they like, until
I get out and show people Yep,and I say, do you want to go?
And they look at me and go oh,maybe not.
No, no.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
It's not going in there, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
But people have used that size and bigger and bigger
and bigger, as we know online.
Yeah, which again, I mean it'spersonal taste and not my cup of
tea.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I've got of bought that's like a little vibrator
type one.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, that one was good, Yours is very good, that's
really good, really good.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
It's sort of like and it's sort of basically and I've
used that on you you have it'san anal stimulator and it sort
of vibrates on your balls at thesame time and it is actually
quite intense.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Well, the girls that we went to the sex boat, they
bought those and they swear bythem, don't they?
They said they were the bestones they ever had.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Yeah, and then I recently, when we went on
holidays, I bought us one each.
Yeah, intentionally to throwinto the bag, because that was
going to be fun.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
But given the fact we were going over to Asian
countries.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, we got a bit nervous and thought we better
not, but I've used that onesince as well, and it's sort of
a rubber one.
Is that the green one?
No, I haven't used the greenone.
You've got the green onesomewhere, right, okay, yeah,
but the one that I bought formyself, I haven't used it yet.
While I was in there buyingyour one, I'd bought one and it
was like one of those ones thatsuction cups to the wall for the
(22:45):
showers and pulls the tiles offfor the showers and the whole
fucking wall comes down yeah,when I have a bing in my car, I
go out there and use it as adent puller.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Oh, no, you saw that clip online.
Remember that dog, the dogrunning around.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, that was a suction cup one, wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
That was a suction cup one, yeah, so there was a
clip on YouTube last night orsomewhere, like that one of the
social media platforms, andthere was this great big A dildo
running around in the Navyshower.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Give it back to me, the owner's chasing it around,
going where'd you get that,Where'd you get that?
And some of the owners go giveit back.
Give it back.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
It was freaking amazing, but there are lots of
stories of people with dildos.
I mean, if you've got any, sendthem in.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Obviously, we know that yeah.
They.
No, that was my family.
Oops, getting them in trouble,they found a giant big black
dildo.
No, this is another one, anotherstory, no, but this one here
I'll tell this one, this onehere when they were,
unfortunately, one of some of myfamily members passed away and
they found them in their houseand so all the boys, the young
(23:55):
boys, were chasing each otheraround the house and then they
put it in the bin and then theother one would go go to the bin
.
Can you take this to the bin?
And I opened it up and it wason the suction cup, that's on to
the inside of the bin, wherethey opened the lid and hit him
in the face.
It was just like so dildos arefun?
Of course they are.
They're fun.
They're for pleasure, fun.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Fun for pleasure, fun for People get held up about.
Some people get really held upabout discussing sex toys and
stuff like that.
And it's just so they're toys,they're fun, they're meant to be
fun.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
You should have fun with them.
And everybody should have atleast one toy in their house
somewhere, yeah yeah, yeah, I'ma big advocate of it, because if
your sex life is dying down alittle bit with your partner, no
reason you still shouldn'tenjoy sex.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Of course that's right, and everybody uses
objects in every single day life.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
you know well.
The thing is that it's a goodway to get you back on the bike
um with pun intended, I guess,um stuff like that and get you
back riding again.
Um, get it in there, get thatthing open, it open, have some
fun with it, yep, discoveryourself.
Again.
You'll see lots of gay men usebutt plugs as trainers because,
(25:10):
again, they're not necessarilyout there getting fucked every
day, but they do enjoy thesensation, yep.
So therefore, they'll use thebutt plugs just to sort of open
up.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I remember, if you're going to use anything, make
sure you don't push it all theway in Make sure it's got a base
.
Yeah, or make sure you're notputting things like glass and
stuff in there, because we'veheard so many horror stories.
Yeah, well, yeah Like this is anurse and she tells us all
these things.
No, not unconfidential stuff,but just scenarios that they've
actually come across.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, and we've seen the internet.
Everyone's got the internet.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well, exactly, I mean like yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
So yeah, make sure it's got a base if you're going
to stick it in your car.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
But my funniest stories are when kids find their
parents' toys and they comerunning downstairs.
What's?
This and they're so naive andyour parents have got friends
over or family members over.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It'll always happen when that's the worst case
scenario.
It's like mummy, mummy, lookwhat I found off and stuff like
that and just all they've leftit on in your luggage as well.
We've got a good mate, thatsaid that he, um yeah, yeah, he
was moving house of some quitewealthy people and he opened up
oh, this backpack was there.
But it was not backpack a bigduffel bag yeah big duffel bag
and it basically was full, waszipped, unzipped slightly.
(26:18):
So he actually basically lookedand it had was chock-a-block
full of dildos of all variousshapes and sizes.
So he actually put them aroundthe whole room.
He basically suction, cuppedthem to the whole room and
called the boys in and they werelike what the fuck?
So, yeah, but he had lots offun with that as well.
(26:38):
But it was, yeah, dildos arefun, yeah, but they've got some
historics to them as well.
So they've been around for along time and we would love to
hear your stories obviously yes,send us your dildo stories, all
right.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Well, we're going to move on anyway, because we can
talk about that all day, butwe're obviously going to be
changing the format slowly, sowe're moving on.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
So what are we going to do?
Dave's letter of the day.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
So for those listeners that have not heard
this segment before, dave, givesme a letter Any alphabetic
letter that I can spin on thewheel normally.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
And he's going to come up with five different
little words, right, and I'mgoing to try and work out so
we've got the letters A to Zwritten down, yeah, and then
I'll spin an imaginary wheel,yeah and then my finger will go
up and down the page and thenI'll close my eyes and I'll stop
at a letter and we'll go withthat letter and we're gonna get
five words.
We're gonna just discuss thosewords briefly.
So this is very off the cuff,yeah, very off the cuff, because
(27:35):
that's what we do, that's wherewe do our best work.
So, all right, all right, dave,spin that wheel in your head
and what letter have you come upwith today?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
okay, the letter is p matthew p p p p.
You like, I've got, I've gotsome good p words.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Yep, all right okay so hit me with what's your first
word, dave?
The first word I've got ispearl necklace oh, I love
jewelry.
Um, I know what a pearlnecklace is.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
What is a pearl?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
necklace A pearl necklace is for those of you at
home that don't know.
Do you know what a pearlnecklace is?
It's when you come onsomebody's chest.
Now it's usually a straightterm when a guy is titty-fucking
someone and he comes all overher neck like fucking big
droplets of glow all around herneck, basically um, so that's a
(28:30):
pearl necklace.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
I don't generally do pearl necklaces most, most guys
just have a fucking one loadcomes out and he fucking like
spurts everywhere.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
So it's not yeah well , yeah, but I get why it looks
like a pearl necklace.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but I Igenerally just swallow, it
doesn't even go near your neck,it goes in your mouth.
It goes straight in the back ofmy throat.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
So yeah, all right.
Pearl necklace yeah cool, sothat's a fun one, okay, next one
is pegging.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Pegging.
This is fun.
I like the word pegging.
Now, what is pegging?
Pegging is usually done when aman is receiving anal from a
female, traditionally right witha strap on, so they might be
interested in playing a bit.
(29:15):
Um, which anal sex isn't justfor gay people.
All right, let me put that outthere now.
All right, um, anal sex that'swhere your erogenous zone is, if
you're a man, and it is verypleasurable to take something up
there.
And some people, quite a lot ofpeople it's actually way more
common.
You think it is, but a lot ofwomen will actually put a strap
(29:37):
on on and go bam, bam, bam intoyour husband, and that is called
pegging and it is a lot of fun.
It gets talked about in themedia more and more lately, um,
and it's on different televisionshows, different places.
So it is lots of fun.
Always use lube, always startsmaller rather than larger.
(29:57):
You're not as big as your holeisn't as big as you think it is,
um, but yeah, pegging that's alot of fun.
Dave you ever done any pegging?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
no, I didn't know you .
Just fine, I didn't get pegged,no, but anyway yeah um letter.
Okay, this one, this one.
I don't know if you're gonnaknow what it means, and I only
found out literally today anyway.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
So the word is penis fencing so when you say penis
fencing, to me what comes tomind is two guys in their full
white outfits just with theircocks out, sword fighting,
basically.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And that's exactly what I would have thought as
well.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Is that what it is?
No, it's not actually.
Is it okay, is it?
Building a fence, it's sexualbehavior, but it's basically the
Wikipedia terminology sayspenis fencing is a mating
behavior engaged by many speciesof flatworm.
Flatworm, yeah, such as aflatworm is like um, like a
(30:56):
species yeah and they basicallyengage in the practice of um.
It's called hermaphorek, umtechnique which individuals?
they both have eggs producingovaries and sperm producing
testes, so they're basicallyhermaphrodites, basically, yeah,
basically, I suppose um, but itsaid what they do is um the
(31:20):
flatworms fence, which is theflatworm's fence, which is the
terminology using extendabletwo-headed dagger-like sheaths,
and these sheaths are thenpointed at each other in order
to pierce their mate's epidermisso it's their skin and inject
sperm into them, and it's knownas basically inseminating
(31:42):
through, you know, through thatprocess of so basically Hemocoil
, so basically penis fencing iswhen I tell somebody to go fuck
himself.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, it's basically that.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
But it's not just flatworms, obviously, it's other
species of animals thatbasically that have got both
male and female organs, speciesof animal that basically that
have got both male and femaleorgans and they basically penis,
fence themselves and impregnatethemselves with the sperm into
the ovary.
So is it the first person thatstabs and wins, or is it maybe,
or do they both?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
stab each other.
Who who knows?
I'm gonna have to do someonline searching on penis
fencing that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
It's really weird, isn't it, you know?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
because that's something I've not heard of ever
in my life.
As I said, look, I would havethought like a sword, fighting
it was sword fighting of suchwhich it kind of fundamentally
is.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I do apologize if I pronounce things wrong.
That's all right.
That's all right, your English.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
you pronounce another word very wrong.
Well, it's right in my life.
Urinal um urinal, urinals arecorrect way I know and you just
said urinal I know I said it foryou anyway all right.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
What's our next word is phone sex phone sex.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Well, I'm not really good at this because I'm not
really good on a phone, like, ifyou want to talk to me on a
phone, you probably could onlyget maybe 10-15 minutes and
that's it, apart from my dad,which I talk to for nearly 45
minutes an hour on the phonebecause we always have different
stuff to chat about.
Um, but phone sex I'm notreally good at.
(33:15):
I'm a visual kind of guy, um,so talking dirty to me doesn't
really really work, um, buteveryone knows what phone sex is
.
It's when you pick up the phone, you talk to someone.
I think it's a you couldactually do.
There used to be double, oh,double five lines that you could
actually call right and havephone sex with somebody, right,
(33:36):
and they'd say are you hot?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
it's very fake, though it's not real.
No, it's never real some peopleengage in that when they're
having sex as well.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Let me, let me give a demo, go on.
So it'd be like hey, dave, whatare you wearing nothing?
Oh my god, that's so hot.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Oh my god what are you wearing, daddy?
Speaker 1 (33:56):
I'm wearing a leather g-string.
I've just pulled it to the side.
My cock is getting so hot ohdaddy, oh god, oh, I think I'm
gonna, oh, I think I'm gonnayou're gonna blow on me daddy.
Oh, that's phone sex.
All right, I hope you enjoyedthat.
You in the bedroom normally,but no, I don't play in those
(34:19):
noises.
They just come out and I am alittle bit vocal in the bedroom.
All right, what's the next word, dave?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
The last one.
You know all about this one,matthew.
Uh-oh, it's public sex.
Oh yes, I do.
I enjoy public sex a lot,otherwise known as in the gay
world.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Cruising, exactly, yeah.
But public sex can be notnecessarily just cruising.
It can actually be going withsomebody and actually having sex
in public.
So some of my favourite placesto have sex are like in the
bushes Well.
I don't mind.
Well, you like looking?
I do like a look, but I likerisky sex in public.
(35:02):
I think it's actually quite hot.
It quite a turn on it's only hotuntil you get caught until you
get caught exactly so the withthe freaking influx of cctv
cameras everywhere around theplanet now, um, and I'm
listening to I always listen toaudiobooks.
I don't read, but I'm listeningto a crime story at the moment,
(35:22):
um, a really really good shandystory.
It's really sad, actually, butit's really good.
Um, but even back in 2013,there were so many cameras
around cctv cameras around thatpeople are getting found out
left, right and center ofdifferent things.
So be careful when performingpublic sex, because chances are
you will end up on tv so withyour public sex, is it just
(35:45):
normally a one-on-one or is itgroup?
Well, it depends.
So back in my day, back when Iwas younger and single, before I
was single again, I would go toObelisk Beach and I would have
sex in the bushes at the backthere, our public sex up there,
and there would be quite a fewof us that would sort of gather
around, not unlike when we go tochurch, how we gather around
(36:08):
and we start something and thenall of a sudden, um, there's
like 15 people like last week,yeah, like last week all of a
sudden 15 people filling up thewhole room or wanting their
hands everywhere and all thatkind of stuff.
It was similar to that, but itwas out in the sunshine and it
was beautiful and it was are youin full view everybody or no?
no, no, no no, no, there's bush,there's.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
It's a big, heavy bushland, right, it's bushland
is there so people wanderingthrough the bushland at the same
time not?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
only if you're there for that purpose, right, okay,
there's very rare there wouldthere be a, a straight person or
a passerby, right um, thisbushland was, so you go in there
intentionally to findIntentionally to find that right
and would you find peopleintentionally walking around as
well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, 100%,yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
So what do you do?
Do you just hook up with thefirst person?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
No, it's just like shopping, like it should.
So you basically find the oneyou like, right, because there's
lots of them, and there is alsoa lot of nude sunbaking and all
that kind of stuff as wellthere.
Yep, um, so it would basicallybe like shopping you find what
you like, they like you too.
Um, you either duck off eitherto a different part of the
bushes or you do it there, andthen would you, would you?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
like, like you know, basically come in that session,
or would you walk around again?
Well, it depends.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It depends on whether you got bored with it, whether
they were good at what they weredoing yeah, good at whether
they gave a good BJ.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Well, we all know what you're like anyway.
You're a multiple comer anyway,so you can just all like come
and go and then come and go,come and go.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
That's you all over, isn't it?
Yeah, that's me, maxi loads.
But yeah, there you go.
Well, that was our letter ofthe day.
That's Dave letters of the day.
And yeah, if you want tosuggest any letters, we know
that there's 26 of them in thealphabet but if you want
anything covered off in that aswell, we can talk through that
as well.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Or if you've got any stories about what we discuss in
these letters.
Or if you've got any storiesabout what we discuss in these
letters, then let us know aswell, because we love stories.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Yeah, and Dave, we're going to round out this week
with a list of questions.
Yeah, all right.
So I've got the question here,so I'm going to ask it first,
yeah, and then we'll have alittle bit of a chat around it.
So list of questions.
Do gays always have sex on afirst date?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
What's your?
My take on that, from myexperience, is yes, but then
that's only my take.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, that's very valid.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I think if you're going to be sleeping with
somebody, you've already madeyour mind that if you're getting
in bed you find them enough.
It's sexually attractive enoughto have sex with people.
That's my take on it.
If you got to the bedroomalready, I don't know.
I mean, Well, that's my take onit.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
If you got to the bedroom already.
Um, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I mean, we're talking about a first date, so the
thing is just say you've decidedyou're going to go out to
dinner, yeah but I mean, whatI'm saying is, if you're on a
first date and it gets to thebedroom, there's obviously some
form of like connection therefor you to want to have sex yeah
, that makes sense.
Yeah, unless you're so pissedand if I can say oh, come, just
stay at my house anyway, maybethat's slightly different and
then sex wouldn't happen becauseyou're pissed anyway yeah I
don't know what's your take onit.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Well, I see gays first dates.
I don't know if we have firstdates.
I think usually it's sex beforewe actually start dating.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Quite honestly, yeah you don't even know their
fucking name.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Their name usually just hang on, show me your cock.
Yep cool, let me suck it.
Yeah, you suck mine, I'll fuckyou whatever what's your name
again?
And then you do a bit of acuddle and you then start
chatting, you get the firstcuddle as well do you Afterwards
yeah, some guys just get up andwalk out, don't they?
I went to the like and again,I'm not up for dating.
That's not who I am.
No, we don't need to.
It's in 2025 where I'm at Yepthe other week and sort of
(39:41):
started making out with a guy inthe spa.
I don't know, I wasn't there.
That's why you weren't there.
No, I went to the spa and wechatted for a couple of hours.
Then we basically showeredbecause it was getting really
hot, and then we went back to aroom and we fooled around a bit
and everything like that.
So we chatted and then weactually exchanged names about
three hours in.
(40:01):
So, first date it wasn't reallya first date.
It was a hook up at the saunaand you didn't um, but um, like,
I don't think I've ever done adating yeah, it's typical
because things have changed,definitely.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
So go back to a scenario.
Okay, we'll go back to ascenario.
Say you were actually hadarranged on one of the apps, yep
, that you're going to go tomeet up with somebody
intentionally for going out forthe evening for a date.
For a date.
Yeah, yeah I'm so I fuck onfirst date?
Yeah, I would as well yeah,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You're gonna see what you're getting um, unless,
obviously, unless, but remembermy mindset is that sex is fun,
sex is healthy.
Of course it is all right.
So I don't have any stigmasaying that like, oh, you're a
slut if you fuck on first dates.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I think the only way you wouldn't have sex is when
that other person is not into itor doesn't want it, or if
they're not who they look likeon their act.
Yeah, or they are.
So whatchamacallit, what's theword I'm looking at?
So Frigid, yeah, frigid, youknow, they just don't enjoy
they're probably not the personthat I'm going to be with
exactly so that's when youwouldn't have sex with someone
on the first date.
(41:04):
Yeah, yeah.
So it's all relevant to thechemistry.
It's all relevant to thescenario.
Yeah, so I mean it's difficultone to answer because a we don't
date, yeah, we just go out andfuck but for the most part, yes,
I'd say the majority of gay menhave sex on the first date yeah
if sex isn't the first date,that is yeah would you have sex
on the second date.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, it depends how good the first one was.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Exactly, would you have a second date?
I was going to say it dependsif there is a second date really
isn't there.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
So yeah, I'd say that , yes, listener, most of us
actually do, but again, I can'tspeak for everyone.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
But just rounding it off, I mean in terms, in terms
of like, when you say you have asex, is that like full anal sex
?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
that's probably a good question, yeah so again, um
, I, if I'm going on a date, I'mgoing to make sure I'm ready.
Yeah, right, I'm going to havedouched.
I'm going to make sure that I'mready to go right.
So, yeah, potentially it's openfor it.
Yeah, and it depends, like youknow, if, but what I'm saying is
making out these cocks enormous, then no anal that happens
(42:11):
sometimes.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Yeah, I know.
But what I'm saying is do youdetermine sex as like oral sex,
is it?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
oh, we discussed this the other night, didn't we?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
sex is basically based around what you perceive
sex to be, doesn't it yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:27):
correct.
So the thing is that wediscussed was sex penetration?
Yeah, was it a happy ending?
Was it oral?
Was it vaginal?
Was it because we do talk tostraight people yeah, um,
vaginal, um, was it anal?
What was sex?
And we said look, is sexjerking off to porn?
Well, these are all differenttopics that we can cover off at
(42:49):
a later date.
But yeah, I, I, yeah, I meanit's difficult.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
I mean because some people don't realize that you
know, sex is sex when it's at acertain stage, or whether it's
just having certain thingshappen to them is classified as
sex as well.
I mean it's all up tointerpretation, isn't it really?
Yeah, correct, and for me, Imean sex always has to involve
kissing.
I think, oh yeah, you know,there's a lot of people out
(43:14):
there that don't necessarilywant to kiss, or they are shit
kisses and then that turns meoff.
Um, but for me, making out withsomebody is probably the
highlight of it.
More so, yeah, because theintimate unless you get from
that is what turns you on at theend of the day, isn't it really
?
Speaker 1 (43:30):
correct.
So to answer your question doall guys?
We can't answer that becausewe're not all guys, but I can
definitely say yes, I have sexon the first day yeah, cool.
So it's been your fully grownhomos.
I've been dave.
No, I've been matt.
You have been me a few.
So you've been your Fully GrownHomos.
I've been Dave.
No, I've been Matt.
You have been me a few times.
You've been in me.
I've been in you.
You've been Dave, I've beenMatt.
(43:51):
If you want to contact us, giveus any questions, give us any
feedback.
We'd love to hear from you.
And how can they do that, dave?
Speaker 2 (43:59):
At any of our social platforms, matthew Fully Grown
Homos, at Fully Grown HomosPodcast, yep, or any of our
email, which isfullygrownhomospodcastgmailcom.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah, hit us up.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
And hopefully you've enjoyed this all new format as
well.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah, and we'll talk soon.
Bye.
Bye, that's a wrap from us.
We've been your Fully GrownHomos and we look forward to
opening your mind, your ears andyour curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
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(44:36):
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Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Bye.
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our
adventures as fully grown homosnavigating today's world full
of inquisitive friends,questions about gay life and the
unexplored activities of a lifelived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics
we don't even know yet, as wewant your input into what you
want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom or messageany of our socials.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Fully Grown Homos with Dave and Matt.
(00:55):
On this week's episode, we'regoing to do things slightly
different, Matt we are, we are,and I'll work out exactly how
that're going to do thingsslightly different.
Matt, we are, we are, and I'llwork out exactly how that's
going to happen now.
We have been off track, so wedo apologize, but we're
hopefully back now.
We've been busy, busy boysdoing lots of stuff and having
(01:16):
lots of stuff happen.
Dave, what's been happening inyour world?
Speaker 2 (01:19):
well, moving forward from my hospitalization, as we
discussed in the last one was.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
That was our last one , wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, so about three weeks ago.
I'm feeling a lot better inmyself.
Obviously, I've had a few moretests that have had to be done.
You're not pregnant no,unfortunately.
So I'm sorry that I can't giveyou another kid, another kid.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Fuck off, I don't have any.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
I'm sure you've got some running.
Mine will go down in the drainor up a bum.
We've all discussed this.
Yeah, um, no.
So yeah, I had to go and have aprocedure called a cystoscopy.
Have you ever?
Heard of cystoscopy.
I hadn't until you told me allabout it, yeah, so it's quite a
simple procedure, but thewaiting time was just such a
long time for me because I hadlike 10 other people going
through both, both men and women, mostly men all right.
(02:01):
So how hot was your doctor,though oh look, the doctor was
extremely hot, as usual, youknow, you can't, you can't, uh,
you can't not have.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And what did he do, though?
Speaker 2 (02:09):
so basically the whole, the whole um procedure is
basically inserting the camerainto your bladder and then where
did they go, dave?
So I'll talk about that in aminute, just wait there.
So they put, they put camerainside your bladder, check you,
know your your make sure thatthere's no untowards things such
as cancer or polyps or cysts oranything else that shouldn't be
(02:30):
there.
Basically, if they are, theytake biopsy samples, send them
away and then hopefully get backto you with positive results,
hopefully.
So I got taken to the procedureI had to empty my bladders
prior to going in, taken intothe uh, the procedure, um, I had
to empty my bladders prior togoing in, um, and basically what
they do is they insert thiscamera.
(02:50):
It's like it's very, very small.
You can't even see.
It's like a like it's almostlike a piece of thread.
You know, I mean it's thatsmall, but it's got a camera on
the end of it and they have toinsert that through your urethra
.
Now, obviously, your japsbefore that they have to numb it
.
So they don't give you a generalanesthetic, they give you a
local anesthetics.
You wait for the wholeprocedure.
So do they put a needle in yourdick?
(03:12):
Not really, no.
So what they do is they put likea numbing gel so they may have
used that myself yeah, soobviously, because I've got, I'm
uncircumcised, so I had to pullback my foreskin and basically
then use this like cotton, sortof like bud, with um, it's like
a cooling gel, it's like it'slike, well, it's like a cold,
sensational um feeling, yep.
And then what they then have todo is then they have to insert
(03:34):
this gel inside your penal entry, right so, and that can be
quite uncomfortable becausethey're forcing this gel
especially when the hot doctor'ssitting there stroking you fore
forcing backward forward andagain, that is quite common for
guys to get erections becauseobviously the sensation is
someone else they did tell youin the pre-op that you may have
to get erect.
Yeah, sometimes they do to getthe camera down there, because
(03:56):
obviously sometimes it's alittle bit awkward when they
can't hold you've got a decentsized dick, so well they didn't
need to do that, so anyway.
So he then put this numbing geldown, which was again a little
bit uncomfortable because it'smore so to do with the pressure
side, not not the sensation ofthe actual gel itself, and
basically he then pushes thecamera inside, but because your
(04:17):
bladder is deflated, becauseit's making side, you've got
like a vacuum effect.
So you're pushing against likea vacuum and it's like causes
resistance, if that makes sense.
So you've got like a vacuumeffect, so you're pushing
against like a vacuum and it'slike causes resistance, if that
makes sense.
So you've got to try and likestimulate is, if you're peeing,
you need to try and pee, butalso at the same time what
they're also doing is, asthey're putting the camera down,
they're putting like salinesolution into into your bladder
(04:40):
as well.
So it's like a double sort oflike um.
So you've got the camera, you'vegot yeah, it's like a double
tube, and the larger tube is themore comfortable part of it.
So you've got a little cameraattached and then the tube goes
in.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
I've never done sounding, but I'm guessing that
wouldn't well exactly.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Well, it would be like a sounding, sort of like
tool, I suppose, in terms of thesound, the size of it.
So if you ever don't, if youknow what sounding is, we can
talk about sounding is basicallywhen you're shoving something
up the eye of your cock.
Yeah, and it can be quite likea metal rod or something like
that.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
I mean, it's not necessarily nice, well, it's, I
don't, it's not for me.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
So the only way I could describe it, it'd be like
a the size of a pen, slightlysmaller than the pen, just
slightly smaller.
So, yeah, so that goes downthrough your uh, your japs, eye,
basically, and the fluid thatthey're pumping into your
bladder.
The saline solution helps withthe lubrication side as well,
but you have this naturalreaction anyway to pee.
And the doctor said to me justfeel like you're going to toilet
(05:32):
.
I said, well, will I pee?
He goes well, no, you've gotnothing to pee anyway.
So he said it's not a problem,it won't come out.
So eventually the camera goesdown and as he's going down he
can see sort of things like youcan see my prostate and stuff
like that, which is pretty cooland I can see this.
I was watching the screen and hewas describing to me exactly
what was going on.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
He wouldn't video it listeners.
I did ask him to video it forme so I could watch it back.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
So anyway, so he eventually gets inside the
bladder, has a good look around,shows me the two kidney entries
, which is really interesting.
So he's like spinning thiscamera around on this, like
remote control stickers got,yeah, like a roller coaster,
it's like a virtual reality,it's like a worm that goes
around around.
So if they did want to go andinvestigate your kidneys they
can go up that little tube andinto that.
So there's pretty clever, butmy bladder seemed very, very
(06:12):
good.
He said that your bladder looksreally healthy, it looks really
cool.
He said um, but I said he saidthat I can see your prostate.
Um is quite prominent in yourbladder wall line, you know I
mean.
So he said that could be aproblem that could be causing
irritation to your bladder.
So he said look, I need you togo back and see one of my
colleagues in six weeks time tohave discussion on procedures to
(06:35):
shave your prostate.
So I don't know what theprocedures are, I've never
looked at it, but they canactually shave your prostate
because I've got an enlargedprostate, which is normal for
people of my age or our age, um,but obviously I don't get
tested, but it's obviouslycausing me more irritation and
problems.
So there is a procedure thatthey'll check your prostate.
Obviously they'll just check forcancer, but obviously all my
(06:56):
blood tests and also what he saw, he said, look there's nothing
everything come back fine, um,but they just said, you know,
for your own sort of like um,comfortableness and also going
on with your health problems,you know, I mean we can probably
shave some of your prostatedown to make it less prominent
in that regard, so hopefully youwon't need to go to toilet as
often as well.
(07:17):
Yeah, um, so, yeah, so that wasthat procedure that went fine.
I mean, I won't know theresults until I've spoken to my
my GP, because obviously he'llhave to describe all this to me
and what the procedures are.
But I mean that's what thesurgeon told me, so I pretty
much got an idea what was goingon, you know.
I mean I wasn't worried yeah,and obviously yeah then
obviously I had to go for mybrain and orbital scan and my
(07:38):
ultrasound yeah, I did, I wasactually looking at a few of the
photographs today on the actualum castle ray website, imaging
um thing and yeah, I canactually see my brain.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
So I told dave he should actually have one really
enlarged and printed up and putinto all different colors.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
But the whole reason for me having the brain scan was
not for my brain, it'sbasically for my eyes.
So the ophthalmologist wantedto see what's causing the fluid
buildup behind my retina whichis causing a problem with my
vision in my right eye after mycataract replacement.
Yep, so yeah.
So again I mean I won't know,don't get old listeners.
So yeah, so again I mean Iwon't know, don't get old
listeners.
No, no, it is, it's fucked.
Yeah.
So basically I won't knowanything until I've spoken to
(08:18):
him what the outcome of that is,because I mean I can't diagnose
like a CT scan myself.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Oh, but you certainly can try.
Oh yeah, Dr Google will tellyou all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
We know that you do it.
He said I just shave my headsometimes, yeah.
So I said to him when I had myback operation.
He looked at me and goes oh myGod, I hope you didn't.
I said I did.
And he goes oh my God, yeah.
He said that's not a good sign.
I said no, it's not.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Yeah, Dr Google.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Don't use Dr Google no of my neck just to check.
My blood vessels were open andenough oxygen was getting
through to my brain andeverything else, and you know
the arterial flow was good, soyou're fighting fit.
Yeah, so I've been tested tothe max this week um done some
more renovation stuff.
(09:03):
Um, obviously, so wait for mybuilders to get back because
they've been away.
Um, yeah, so that's pretty muchmy week your house is coming
along really, really nicely.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
I went and checked it out the other week and not
quick enough for me, though it'syeah, yeah, we want it done
already.
Obviously, everyone wants itdone, um, but it's coming along
really nicely and I can see thevision and it's coming to
fruition and, like every, every,all the changes you've actually
made to the, to the layout,look fucking spectacular and
it's just yeah, it's justamazing, but, yeah, it's all
(09:32):
coming along really quickly,yeah so, yeah, and what about
yourself, matt?
my week's been a bit rough, soI've had a few rough weeks just
with um, settling into my newrole and stuff like that.
Um, I've been in my job for along time and I'm very good at
my job and when I'm trying tolearn something new, I'm pretty
much my own worst critic and Ibasically was going super hard
(09:56):
on myself and sort of not givingmyself the time to learn new
line new, new things and stufflike that.
So I was in a bit of a roughplace mentally for a couple of
weeks.
There.
We could all see that andeveryone could see that and it
was just like and it wasn't,wasn't great, but I couldn't
snap myself out of it andthankfully I have my friends and
family around me, um more so myfriends and my friends that I
(10:20):
call family, um, so yeah, theywere all there for me, which was
always very supportive, but itwas just a rough, rough few
weeks.
I'm back now.
I'm back to being my awesomeself, um, and yeah, it's finally
a lot of it's finally clickedin.
I've finally learned that I'mactually allowed to ask for help
, which is really stupid,because I know better than
(10:42):
anyone, because I teach thiswhen I'm teaching, because so
I'm in like yeah, I'm in theretail space, but I'm in the
training and development sort ofretail space for a lot of it
and and I'm forever tellingpeople ask you don't need to
know what you don't know, youneed to know who does know that
right, and sort of use thepeople on.
You do all that kind of stuff.
(11:03):
And but I've just got reallyshitted it for a few moments
there and forgot that I couldactually ask a question but the
whole process of learning is byasking questions yeah, I know.
Imagine that I know right.
Imagine that, hey, I know right.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Imagine that.
And how many times did we tellyou that?
Oh, shut up, I know, but youare but.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I am very self-sufficient.
You are, and I have beenself-sufficient my entire life.
So the thing is that it wasjust my brain just snapped and
then I remembered again that,hey, this is how you actually
get by and this is how youactually do get better.
But yeah, so I'm in a lotbetter place and feeling great,
(11:40):
and hence why we've actuallysort of come back to this
because I was in the rightheadspace and stuff like that to
do this.
Welcome back, mate, because youhave to be in the right
headspace to have fun and enjoyand bring some positivity.
Otherwise, it's going to comeover the airwaves and you're
going to sound like a miserablecunt.
Um, but yeah, which is yeah,but this week we're going to
talk about some fun stuff.
(12:01):
We've incorporated a few of ourold segments that we're going to
do, but we're going to do somenew ones.
We're going to do some listenerquestions.
If you do have listenerquestions, hit us up at any of
our socialsfullygrownhomerspodcast, shoot
us on our instagram boxes andfacebook or I don't really
monitor facebook, so just go toinstagram, it's much easier or
(12:24):
you can email us atfullygrownhomerspodcast at
gmailcomau.
I think it is.
Anyway, I'll put that in thetag.
Anyway, I can't remember.
We haven't used the email for along time either, so hit us up
by the instagramfullygrownhomelesspodcast at our
insta, yeah at our insta forany questions you want to send
(12:47):
in.
But, dave, we were looking alittle bit of content that we
wanted to actually bring andwe're doing some research and
stuff like that and we thoughtwe'd have a look at some fun
stuff.
And yeah, we've come acrosssomething called dildo.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Facts and stories is what we're going to cover up.
It's all fun facts, but dildois part of one of the
conversations.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah but today we wanted to talk about dildos, and
it was quite when we did someresearch on this it.
It was quite fun and quitehistorical.
Yeah, so, dave, take it away.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
So basically, matt, when we were doing some research
, we discovered that the oldestdildo in the world so far as
we've been able to find outthrough archaeologists and
evidence of history, it datesback to 28,000 years BC.
It dates back to 28 000 yearsbc.
(13:40):
So you're talking like the p?
Uh, the uh, the uh, theneolithic um, you know period
where cavemen were around, yeah,and they discovered this, this
first um?
Um dildo, phallic, phallic,yeah, um 30 000 years ago it was
.
It was actually carved and itwas found in a German cave in
2005.
When you say carved, carved outof what?
(14:00):
Well, this is it.
So you know, it was a highly.
They were saying that theobject itself was highly
polished and it was made of astone phallic-shaped material.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
So yeah, somebody's getting their rocks off, so I
wonder if that's where thatcomes from.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
It could very well be .
I mean, all these analogiesthat we have getting your rocks
off, could very well mean thatcould be.
You know, we'll have to googlethat and find out we'll find
that out one day, but yeah, sobasically you know they it was
highly polished as well.
So this is like so bizarre thatyou know neolithic people in
germany back 30 000 years agowere actually using stones to
fuck themselves with.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, well, it's freaking awesome.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
And there was another one you said that was actually
yeah, so moving on, obviously,this is just obviously the very
first one that they found theold one and there's actually a
picture of it online as well, soI keep going off mic a little
bit um, and you know, moving onit's got.
The ancient greeks were alsovery much into using objects.
Now I only discovered this bitthis morning.
(14:57):
Yep, right, and it says I'lljust read the narrative.
It says the ancient greeks knewall about the joys of um olive
oil long before jamie olivermade it cool, but what they were
actually doing was anything butusing anything.
But they were using extravirgin olive oil with
obelisk-like objects were usedas dildos.
The most common of this wasbreadsticks.
(15:20):
Yep, used in Greek before 5 BC,so before any obelisk sort of
like Any shape, shape, yeah wasinvented.
These breadsticks were used,dipped in olive oil and used for
self-pleasuring Forself-pleasure there you go so
bread does bring pleasure,whether or not.
(15:40):
I don't know if they ate it.
Maybe that's another thingeating out someone.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
Oh maybe they left the bread in there and they
thought I better go and get that.
Um, yeah, who knows?
yeah, I'm just trying to like,I'm gonna duck down to my
baker's delight, I'll be back ina second.
Um, no, I'm trying to duck downto my baker's delight, I'll be
back in a second.
No, I'm trying to work outwhether, see, because unless you
left that breadstick to getstale first and pretty hard,
(16:04):
well you'd have to really bakeit hard.
I'm just trying to think how itwould work.
Well, it'd be crusty, wouldn'tit.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Yeah, that would hurt , wouldn't it?
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Well, see, this is the thing is you actually
brought up the other week, whenwe were discussing this, you
brought up the one that was madeof wood and I sat there and I
went.
That would give you splinters.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
And so I'm trying to work out how that would feel and
I'm just thinking Well, they'dhave to sand it down, wouldn't
they?
Speaker 2 (16:32):
Well?
Speaker 1 (16:33):
but from bread though , like if you're talking about a
loaf of bread right Now, ifwe're going in the front, if
you're a lady using thisbreadstick with the olive oil,
exactly Right, it would getmoist, it would get soggy, so it
would disintegrate, potentiallybecause women get moist Right.
Wet, yeah, some get really wet.
Yeah, I just threw up in my ownmouth a bit there.
(16:56):
That's gross, but would it notget soggy?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Of course it would.
Yeah.
The thing is, how do you stopeven breaking as well,
especially if it's like you'vegot a new re-tide?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Maybe that's where the term breaking bread came
from as well.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
We love to Google all these things.
We're discovering all theselittle quotes from history.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
But yeah, but if you did it anally as well, I wonder
if they used biscuits.
Is that what I said?
You could have a shit sandwich.
I wonder if they used biscuits.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
That's where taking the biscuit was as well.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh, a shit sandwich.
I've just like.
I have so many questions onthis and so many that I don't
want answered.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
We need to do.
Food facts, yeah, food facts,fun food facts Gay facts
Breadsticks With olive oil.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
It's not something I would use.
I've used butter in the pastwhen I fuck somebody, but I've
not used olive oil.
Olive oil would be fine.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'd use Popeye.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
The breadstick would be Somewhat interesting.
Moving on from that, the firstmodern dildo is the breadstick.
The breadstick would be, yeah,somewhat interesting.
What else you got?
Speaker 2 (17:57):
there.
So yeah.
So, moving on from that, thefirst modern dildo was invented
in france in 1734.
Was it also a bread?
No, it was actually called thethermosa.
The thermosa, yeah, and it wasa handheld wound up vibrator
that operated the same way asyou know.
Know, when you get the eggwhisks Yep, yep yep, it's like
(18:17):
that.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
So, as you're winding it, it would like spin round
and round and round, yeah, yeah,yeah, okay, that's pretty nifty
.
So would it be a one-personoperator, because again you'd
have to be pretty nimble to windthe egg feeder.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Well, you'd hope that you shaved yourself because you
wouldn't get your fucking pubescaught in there, would you?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Wow, ouch, yeah, but back in those days they kept
everything hairy and bushy.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
But could you imagine the friction as well?
I don't know what it was madeof.
It doesn't say what it was madeof.
I'm assuming it was made oflike either 1734, so you're
talking wood or you're going tobe talking something.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yeah, it wouldn't be latex at that stage in something
, it wouldn't be latex at thatstage, it would become some kind
of hard material.
Yeah, wow, okay, so that's,that's um interesting, isn't it
very interesting?
So the french, french havealways been frisky, oh for sure.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
Um, yeah, we know that.
And then obviously then moveson oh sorry, yeah, so handheld
whisk use control, hysteria,which is hysteria.
That's why hysteria comes.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
That's right, because masturbation was frequently
used as a control of mentalillness.
Exactly, that's right.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
And that's where hysteria comes from you don't
need a.
Latin word for it.
In 1869, a guy called GeorgeTaylor then created a
steam-powered vibrator.
And that was called themanipulator, the manipulator
that would give you burns, andthat was followed in 1880 by the
(19:42):
electromagnetical vibrator, aninvention, invention developed
in um, sorry, an invention, um,duplicated in the movie called
hysteria.
So the movie hysteria was aboutthat, that dildo, it was about
that electromagnetical vibrator.
So the whole thing was builtaround that.
It was about hysteria.
You know, I'll have to go backand watch that one, and you know
(20:05):
what the greek terminology forhysteria is.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
No, it means uterus well, that makes sense, because
women are hysterical yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
so when they say crazy way, I mean not exactly,
I'm joking, girls I love you arehysterical yeah, so when you
say In a crazy way I meanExactly, I'm joking girls.
I love you.
You know that.
So when you say everybody'shysterical, it means they're all
fucking vaginas or they're alluteruses.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
They're all a bunch of uteruses.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
They're all a bunch of cunts.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
Yeah, you cunts are hysterical.
Yeah, no word.
Dildo comes from the latin wordmeaning dilate or open up.
Okay, so there you go.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
So see, today's a school day, every day's a school
day, kids, and the classicrubber dildo didn't come around
until the mid 90s, so the mid1880s.
And then again I put downbreadsticks we use while the
greeks use it 1880s, so that'spretty early on.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
So we've been self-fucking fora long time, absolutely For a
long long time, and I'm okaywith that.
How many dildos have you got,dave?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I've only got about three, but there's one that I
never used, which we obviouslytalked about before, which is
the 747.
The 747, which is they boughtit online and it came, and it
was it looked really cool online, yeah, but when I got it it was
like a torpedo, enormous.
It was like you know, somethingthat you'd actually put in your
back yard and send it to space.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's like your forearm it was.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Yeah, it's as big as my forearm, so it's been sort of
like gathering dust in mycupboard ever since Never been
seeing the day and it's neverbeen seen that they like, until
I get out and show people Yep,and I say, do you want to go?
And they look at me and go oh,maybe not.
No, no.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
It's not going in there, so yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
But people have used that size and bigger and bigger
and bigger, as we know online.
Yeah, which again, I mean it'spersonal taste and not my cup of
tea.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I've got of bought that's like a little vibrator
type one.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Well, that one was good, Yours is very good, that's
really good, really good.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
It's sort of like and it's sort of basically and I've
used that on you you have it'san anal stimulator and it sort
of vibrates on your balls at thesame time and it is actually
quite intense.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Well, the girls that we went to the sex boat, they
bought those and they swear bythem, don't they?
They said they were the bestones they ever had.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Yeah, and then I recently, when we went on
holidays, I bought us one each.
Yeah, intentionally to throwinto the bag, because that was
going to be fun.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
But given the fact we were going over to Asian
countries.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Yeah, we got a bit nervous and thought we better
not, but I've used that onesince as well, and it's sort of
a rubber one.
Is that the green one?
No, I haven't used the greenone.
You've got the green onesomewhere, right, okay, yeah,
but the one that I bought formyself, I haven't used it yet.
While I was in there buyingyour one, I'd bought one and it
was like one of those ones thatsuction cups to the wall for the
(22:45):
showers and pulls the tiles offfor the showers and the whole
fucking wall comes down yeah,when I have a bing in my car, I
go out there and use it as adent puller.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
Oh, no, you saw that clip online.
Remember that dog, the dogrunning around.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Yeah, that was a suction cup one, wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (23:00):
That was a suction cup one, yeah, so there was a
clip on YouTube last night orsomewhere, like that one of the
social media platforms, andthere was this great big A dildo
running around in the Navyshower.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Give it back to me, the owner's chasing it around,
going where'd you get that,Where'd you get that?
And some of the owners go giveit back.
Give it back.
Speaker 2 (23:22):
It was freaking amazing, but there are lots of
stories of people with dildos.
I mean, if you've got any, sendthem in.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
Obviously, we know that yeah.
They.
No, that was my family.
Oops, getting them in trouble,they found a giant big black
dildo.
No, this is another one, anotherstory, no, but this one here
I'll tell this one, this onehere when they were,
unfortunately, one of some of myfamily members passed away and
they found them in their houseand so all the boys, the young
(23:55):
boys, were chasing each otheraround the house and then they
put it in the bin and then theother one would go go to the bin
.
Can you take this to the bin?
And I opened it up and it wason the suction cup, that's on to
the inside of the bin, wherethey opened the lid and hit him
in the face.
It was just like so dildos arefun?
Of course they are.
They're fun.
They're for pleasure, fun.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
Fun for pleasure, fun for People get held up about.
Some people get really held upabout discussing sex toys and
stuff like that.
And it's just so they're toys,they're fun, they're meant to be
fun.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
You should have fun with them.
And everybody should have atleast one toy in their house
somewhere, yeah yeah, yeah, I'ma big advocate of it, because if
your sex life is dying down alittle bit with your partner, no
reason you still shouldn'tenjoy sex.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Of course that's right, and everybody uses
objects in every single day life.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
you know well.
The thing is that it's a goodway to get you back on the bike
um with pun intended, I guess,um stuff like that and get you
back riding again.
Um, get it in there, get thatthing open, it open, have some
fun with it, yep, discoveryourself.
Again.
You'll see lots of gay men usebutt plugs as trainers because,
(25:10):
again, they're not necessarilyout there getting fucked every
day, but they do enjoy thesensation, yep.
So therefore, they'll use thebutt plugs just to sort of open
up.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I remember, if you're going to use anything, make
sure you don't push it all theway in Make sure it's got a base
.
Yeah, or make sure you're notputting things like glass and
stuff in there, because we'veheard so many horror stories.
Yeah, well, yeah Like this is anurse and she tells us all
these things.
No, not unconfidential stuff,but just scenarios that they've
actually come across.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
Yeah, and we've seen the internet.
Everyone's got the internet.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well, exactly, I mean like yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
So yeah, make sure it's got a base if you're going
to stick it in your car.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
But my funniest stories are when kids find their
parents' toys and they comerunning downstairs.
What's?
This and they're so naive andyour parents have got friends
over or family members over.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
It'll always happen when that's the worst case
scenario.
It's like mummy, mummy, lookwhat I found off and stuff like
that and just all they've leftit on in your luggage as well.
We've got a good mate, thatsaid that he, um yeah, yeah, he
was moving house of some quitewealthy people and he opened up
oh, this backpack was there.
But it was not backpack a bigduffel bag yeah big duffel bag
and it basically was full, waszipped, unzipped slightly.
(26:18):
So he actually basically lookedand it had was chock-a-block
full of dildos of all variousshapes and sizes.
So he actually put them aroundthe whole room.
He basically suction, cuppedthem to the whole room and
called the boys in and they werelike what the fuck?
So, yeah, but he had lots offun with that as well.
(26:38):
But it was, yeah, dildos arefun, yeah, but they've got some
historics to them as well.
So they've been around for along time and we would love to
hear your stories obviously yes,send us your dildo stories, all
right.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Well, we're going to move on anyway, because we can
talk about that all day, butwe're obviously going to be
changing the format slowly, sowe're moving on.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
So what are we going to do?
Dave's letter of the day.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
So for those listeners that have not heard
this segment before, dave, givesme a letter Any alphabetic
letter that I can spin on thewheel normally.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
And he's going to come up with five different
little words, right, and I'mgoing to try and work out so
we've got the letters A to Zwritten down, yeah, and then
I'll spin an imaginary wheel,yeah and then my finger will go
up and down the page and thenI'll close my eyes and I'll stop
at a letter and we'll go withthat letter and we're gonna get
five words.
We're gonna just discuss thosewords briefly.
So this is very off the cuff,yeah, very off the cuff, because
(27:35):
that's what we do, that's wherewe do our best work.
So, all right, all right, dave,spin that wheel in your head
and what letter have you come upwith today?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
okay, the letter is p matthew p p p p.
You like, I've got, I've gotsome good p words.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Yep, all right okay so hit me with what's your first
word, dave?
The first word I've got ispearl necklace oh, I love
jewelry.
Um, I know what a pearlnecklace is.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
What is a pearl?
Speaker 1 (28:06):
necklace A pearl necklace is for those of you at
home that don't know.
Do you know what a pearlnecklace is?
It's when you come onsomebody's chest.
Now it's usually a straightterm when a guy is titty-fucking
someone and he comes all overher neck like fucking big
droplets of glow all around herneck, basically um, so that's a
(28:30):
pearl necklace.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
I don't generally do pearl necklaces most, most guys
just have a fucking one loadcomes out and he fucking like
spurts everywhere.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
So it's not yeah well , yeah, but I get why it looks
like a pearl necklace.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, but I Igenerally just swallow, it
doesn't even go near your neck,it goes in your mouth.
It goes straight in the back ofmy throat.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
So yeah, all right.
Pearl necklace yeah cool, sothat's a fun one, okay, next one
is pegging.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Pegging.
This is fun.
I like the word pegging.
Now, what is pegging?
Pegging is usually done when aman is receiving anal from a
female, traditionally right witha strap on, so they might be
interested in playing a bit.
(29:15):
Um, which anal sex isn't justfor gay people.
All right, let me put that outthere now.
All right, um, anal sex that'swhere your erogenous zone is, if
you're a man, and it is verypleasurable to take something up
there.
And some people, quite a lot ofpeople it's actually way more
common.
You think it is, but a lot ofwomen will actually put a strap
(29:37):
on on and go bam, bam, bam intoyour husband, and that is called
pegging and it is a lot of fun.
It gets talked about in themedia more and more lately, um,
and it's on different televisionshows, different places.
So it is lots of fun.
Always use lube, always startsmaller rather than larger.
(29:57):
You're not as big as your holeisn't as big as you think it is,
um, but yeah, pegging that's alot of fun.
Dave you ever done any pegging?
Speaker 2 (30:06):
no, I didn't know you .
Just fine, I didn't get pegged,no, but anyway yeah um letter.
Okay, this one, this one.
I don't know if you're gonnaknow what it means, and I only
found out literally today anyway.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
So the word is penis fencing so when you say penis
fencing, to me what comes tomind is two guys in their full
white outfits just with theircocks out, sword fighting,
basically.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
And that's exactly what I would have thought as
well.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Is that what it is?
No, it's not actually.
Is it okay, is it?
Building a fence, it's sexualbehavior, but it's basically the
Wikipedia terminology sayspenis fencing is a mating
behavior engaged by many speciesof flatworm.
Flatworm, yeah, such as aflatworm is like um, like a
(30:56):
species yeah and they basicallyengage in the practice of um.
It's called hermaphorek, umtechnique which individuals?
they both have eggs producingovaries and sperm producing
testes, so they're basicallyhermaphrodites, basically, yeah,
basically, I suppose um, but itsaid what they do is um the
(31:20):
flatworms fence, which is theflatworm's fence, which is the
terminology using extendabletwo-headed dagger-like sheaths,
and these sheaths are thenpointed at each other in order
to pierce their mate's epidermisso it's their skin and inject
sperm into them, and it's knownas basically inseminating
(31:42):
through, you know, through thatprocess of so basically Hemocoil
, so basically penis fencing iswhen I tell somebody to go fuck
himself.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yeah, it's basically that.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
But it's not just flatworms, obviously, it's other
species of animals thatbasically that have got both
male and female organs, speciesof animal that basically that
have got both male and femaleorgans and they basically penis,
fence themselves and impregnatethemselves with the sperm into
the ovary.
So is it the first person thatstabs and wins, or is it maybe,
or do they both?
Speaker 1 (32:16):
stab each other.
Who who knows?
I'm gonna have to do someonline searching on penis
fencing that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
It's really weird, isn't it, you know?
Speaker 1 (32:24):
because that's something I've not heard of ever
in my life.
As I said, look, I would havethought like a sword, fighting
it was sword fighting of suchwhich it kind of fundamentally
is.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
I do apologize if I pronounce things wrong.
That's all right.
That's all right, your English.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
you pronounce another word very wrong.
Well, it's right in my life.
Urinal um urinal, urinals arecorrect way I know and you just
said urinal I know I said it foryou anyway all right.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
What's our next word is phone sex phone sex.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
Well, I'm not really good at this because I'm not
really good on a phone, like, ifyou want to talk to me on a
phone, you probably could onlyget maybe 10-15 minutes and
that's it, apart from my dad,which I talk to for nearly 45
minutes an hour on the phonebecause we always have different
stuff to chat about.
Um, but phone sex I'm notreally good at.
(33:15):
I'm a visual kind of guy, um,so talking dirty to me doesn't
really really work, um, buteveryone knows what phone sex is
.
It's when you pick up the phone, you talk to someone.
I think it's a you couldactually do.
There used to be double, oh,double five lines that you could
actually call right and havephone sex with somebody, right,
(33:36):
and they'd say are you hot?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
it's very fake, though it's not real.
No, it's never real some peopleengage in that when they're
having sex as well.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
Let me, let me give a demo, go on.
So it'd be like hey, dave, whatare you wearing nothing?
Oh my god, that's so hot.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Oh my god what are you wearing, daddy?
Speaker 1 (33:56):
I'm wearing a leather g-string.
I've just pulled it to the side.
My cock is getting so hot ohdaddy, oh god, oh, I think I'm
gonna, oh, I think I'm gonnayou're gonna blow on me daddy.
Oh, that's phone sex.
All right, I hope you enjoyedthat.
You in the bedroom normally,but no, I don't play in those
(34:19):
noises.
They just come out and I am alittle bit vocal in the bedroom.
All right, what's the next word, dave?
Speaker 2 (34:23):
The last one.
You know all about this one,matthew.
Uh-oh, it's public sex.
Oh yes, I do.
I enjoy public sex a lot,otherwise known as in the gay
world.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Cruising, exactly, yeah.
But public sex can be notnecessarily just cruising.
It can actually be going withsomebody and actually having sex
in public.
So some of my favourite placesto have sex are like in the
bushes Well.
I don't mind.
Well, you like looking?
I do like a look, but I likerisky sex in public.
(35:02):
I think it's actually quite hot.
It quite a turn on it's only hotuntil you get caught until you
get caught exactly so the withthe freaking influx of cctv
cameras everywhere around theplanet now, um, and I'm
listening to I always listen toaudiobooks.
I don't read, but I'm listeningto a crime story at the moment,
(35:22):
um, a really really good shandystory.
It's really sad, actually, butit's really good.
Um, but even back in 2013,there were so many cameras
around cctv cameras around thatpeople are getting found out
left, right and center ofdifferent things.
So be careful when performingpublic sex, because chances are
you will end up on tv so withyour public sex, is it just
(35:45):
normally a one-on-one or is itgroup?
Well, it depends.
So back in my day, back when Iwas younger and single, before I
was single again, I would go toObelisk Beach and I would have
sex in the bushes at the backthere, our public sex up there,
and there would be quite a fewof us that would sort of gather
around, not unlike when we go tochurch, how we gather around
(36:08):
and we start something and thenall of a sudden, um, there's
like 15 people like last week,yeah, like last week all of a
sudden 15 people filling up thewhole room or wanting their
hands everywhere and all thatkind of stuff.
It was similar to that, but itwas out in the sunshine and it
was beautiful and it was are youin full view everybody or no?
no, no, no no, no, there's bush,there's.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
It's a big, heavy bushland, right, it's bushland
is there so people wanderingthrough the bushland at the same
time not?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
only if you're there for that purpose, right, okay,
there's very rare there wouldthere be a, a straight person or
a passerby, right um, thisbushland was, so you go in there
intentionally to findIntentionally to find that right
and would you find peopleintentionally walking around as
well?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, 100%,yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:52):
So what do you do?
Do you just hook up with thefirst person?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
No, it's just like shopping, like it should.
So you basically find the oneyou like, right, because there's
lots of them, and there is alsoa lot of nude sunbaking and all
that kind of stuff as wellthere.
Yep, um, so it would basicallybe like shopping you find what
you like, they like you too.
Um, you either duck off eitherto a different part of the
bushes or you do it there, andthen would you, would you?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
like, like you know, basically come in that session,
or would you walk around again?
Well, it depends.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
It depends on whether you got bored with it, whether
they were good at what they weredoing yeah, good at whether
they gave a good BJ.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
Well, we all know what you're like anyway.
You're a multiple comer anyway,so you can just all like come
and go and then come and go,come and go.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
That's you all over, isn't it?
Yeah, that's me, maxi loads.
But yeah, there you go.
Well, that was our letter ofthe day.
That's Dave letters of the day.
And yeah, if you want tosuggest any letters, we know
that there's 26 of them in thealphabet but if you want
anything covered off in that aswell, we can talk through that
as well.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Or if you've got any stories about what we discuss in
these letters.
Or if you've got any storiesabout what we discuss in these
letters, then let us know aswell, because we love stories.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
Yeah, and Dave, we're going to round out this week
with a list of questions.
Yeah, all right.
So I've got the question here,so I'm going to ask it first,
yeah, and then we'll have alittle bit of a chat around it.
So list of questions.
Do gays always have sex on afirst date?
Speaker 2 (38:23):
What's your?
My take on that, from myexperience, is yes, but then
that's only my take.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Yeah, that's very valid.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
I think if you're going to be sleeping with
somebody, you've already madeyour mind that if you're getting
in bed you find them enough.
It's sexually attractive enoughto have sex with people.
That's my take on it.
If you got to the bedroomalready, I don't know.
I mean, Well, that's my take onit.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
If you got to the bedroom already.
Um, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
I mean, we're talking about a first date, so the
thing is just say you've decidedyou're going to go out to
dinner, yeah but I mean, whatI'm saying is, if you're on a
first date and it gets to thebedroom, there's obviously some
form of like connection therefor you to want to have sex yeah
, that makes sense.
Yeah, unless you're so pissedand if I can say oh, come, just
stay at my house anyway, maybethat's slightly different and
then sex wouldn't happen becauseyou're pissed anyway yeah I
don't know what's your take onit.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
Well, I see gays first dates.
I don't know if we have firstdates.
I think usually it's sex beforewe actually start dating.
Speaker 2 (39:12):
Quite honestly, yeah you don't even know their
fucking name.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Their name usually just hang on, show me your cock.
Yep cool, let me suck it.
Yeah, you suck mine, I'll fuckyou whatever what's your name
again?
And then you do a bit of acuddle and you then start
chatting, you get the firstcuddle as well do you Afterwards
yeah, some guys just get up andwalk out, don't they?
I went to the like and again,I'm not up for dating.
That's not who I am.
No, we don't need to.
It's in 2025 where I'm at Yepthe other week and sort of
(39:41):
started making out with a guy inthe spa.
I don't know, I wasn't there.
That's why you weren't there.
No, I went to the spa and wechatted for a couple of hours.
Then we basically showeredbecause it was getting really
hot, and then we went back to aroom and we fooled around a bit
and everything like that.
So we chatted and then weactually exchanged names about
three hours in.
(40:01):
So, first date it wasn't reallya first date.
It was a hook up at the saunaand you didn't um, but um, like,
I don't think I've ever done adating yeah, it's typical
because things have changed,definitely.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
So go back to a scenario.
Okay, we'll go back to ascenario.
Say you were actually hadarranged on one of the apps, yep
, that you're going to go tomeet up with somebody
intentionally for going out forthe evening for a date.
For a date.
Yeah, yeah I'm so I fuck onfirst date?
Yeah, I would as well yeah,yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You're gonna see what you're getting um, unless,
obviously, unless, but remembermy mindset is that sex is fun,
sex is healthy.
Of course it is all right.
So I don't have any stigmasaying that like, oh, you're a
slut if you fuck on first dates.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
I think the only way you wouldn't have sex is when
that other person is not into itor doesn't want it, or if
they're not who they look likeon their act.
Yeah, or they are.
So whatchamacallit, what's theword I'm looking at?
So Frigid, yeah, frigid, youknow, they just don't enjoy
they're probably not the personthat I'm going to be with
exactly so that's when youwouldn't have sex with someone
on the first date.
(41:04):
Yeah, yeah.
So it's all relevant to thechemistry.
It's all relevant to thescenario.
Yeah, so I mean it's difficultone to answer because a we don't
date, yeah, we just go out andfuck but for the most part, yes,
I'd say the majority of gay menhave sex on the first date yeah
if sex isn't the first date,that is yeah would you have sex
on the second date.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Yeah, it depends how good the first one was.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Exactly, would you have a second date?
I was going to say it dependsif there is a second date really
isn't there.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
So yeah, I'd say that , yes, listener, most of us
actually do, but again, I can'tspeak for everyone.
Speaker 2 (41:40):
But just rounding it off, I mean in terms, in terms
of like, when you say you have asex, is that like full anal sex
?
Speaker 1 (41:48):
that's probably a good question, yeah so again, um
, I, if I'm going on a date, I'mgoing to make sure I'm ready.
Yeah, right, I'm going to havedouched.
I'm going to make sure that I'mready to go right.
So, yeah, potentially it's openfor it.
Yeah, and it depends, like youknow, if, but what I'm saying is
making out these cocks enormous, then no anal that happens
(42:11):
sometimes.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Yeah, I know.
But what I'm saying is do youdetermine sex as like oral sex,
is it?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
oh, we discussed this the other night, didn't we?
Speaker 2 (42:22):
sex is basically based around what you perceive
sex to be, doesn't it yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:27):
correct.
So the thing is that wediscussed was sex penetration?
Yeah, was it a happy ending?
Was it oral?
Was it vaginal?
Was it because we do talk tostraight people yeah, um,
vaginal, um, was it anal?
What was sex?
And we said look, is sexjerking off to porn?
Well, these are all differenttopics that we can cover off at
(42:49):
a later date.
But yeah, I, I, yeah, I meanit's difficult.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
I mean because some people don't realize that you
know, sex is sex when it's at acertain stage, or whether it's
just having certain thingshappen to them is classified as
sex as well.
I mean it's all up tointerpretation, isn't it really?
Yeah, correct, and for me, Imean sex always has to involve
kissing.
I think, oh yeah, you know,there's a lot of people out
(43:14):
there that don't necessarilywant to kiss, or they are shit
kisses and then that turns meoff.
Um, but for me, making out withsomebody is probably the
highlight of it.
More so, yeah, because theintimate unless you get from
that is what turns you on at theend of the day, isn't it really
?
Speaker 1 (43:30):
correct.
So to answer your question doall guys?
We can't answer that becausewe're not all guys, but I can
definitely say yes, I have sexon the first day yeah, cool.
So it's been your fully grownhomos.
I've been dave.
No, I've been matt.
You have been me a few.
So you've been your Fully GrownHomos.
I've been Dave.
No, I've been Matt.
You have been me a few times.
You've been in me.
I've been in you.
You've been Dave, I've beenMatt.
(43:51):
If you want to contact us, giveus any questions, give us any
feedback.
We'd love to hear from you.
And how can they do that, dave?
Speaker 2 (43:59):
At any of our social platforms, matthew Fully Grown
Homos, at Fully Grown HomosPodcast, yep, or any of our
email, which isfullygrownhomospodcastgmailcom.
Speaker 1 (44:10):
Yeah, hit us up.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
And hopefully you've enjoyed this all new format as
well.
Speaker 1 (44:15):
Yeah, and we'll talk soon.
Bye.
Bye, that's a wrap from us.
We've been your Fully GrownHomos and we look forward to
opening your mind, your ears andyour curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
podcast with your curiousfriends.
You can contact us onfullygrownhomospodcast at
(44:36):
gmailcom or any of our socials.
Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Bye.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!