January 7, 2025 • 47 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our
adventures as fully grown homosnavigating today's world full
of inquisitive friends,questions about gay life and the
unexplored activities of a lifelived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics
we don't even know yet, as wewant your input into what you
want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom or messageany of our socials.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Fully Grown Homos.
With Dave and Matt On today'sepisode, we're going to finally
(01:02):
wrap up our holiday.
It feels like it's been monthsand months and months since
we've actually been back onholidays, isn't it, dave?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
yep, and we did try doing one the other day about it
.
Um, and then we were out in thesun doing it on the uh, my
phone overheated it did shoutitself.
So we didn't get anywhere withit we didn't get anywhere.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
We recorded.
But then we thought, ratherthan trying copy and paste and
do all that kind of stuff, we'llrecap the whole thing again.
So here we go again.
This is part three of ourholiday, also known as the sad
ending.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, it wasn't sad.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
No, it was sad to finish our holiday.
Definitely it was a happyending, always a happy ending,
with us, that's for sure.
That's for sure.
So where were we, Dave?
We?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
left off in Darwin.
Yeah, so the next day of theDarwin.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
As a recap, we can say we loved Darwin, yeah, and
we'll definitely go back therefor sure, definitely going back
there.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So we're talking now the 26th of November.
We're looking at the last fivedays of the holiday here.
So we were cruising.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, we all had a cruise day this was quite an
entertaining day, this one wasthat, matt.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
This was quite an entertaining day couple of
cruising days, so we.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So we got up as per normal, had our brekkie, brushed
our teeth, did our shit, andthen went to another art auction
.
And we went to another artauction because we can, and we
did and we loved it.
Yeah, we had fun, yeah, andmike was the drawing attraction
attraction there, yeah of course, mike and t Troy, and
consequently we have tons of artsitting in my spare room
(02:26):
currently because we enjoy theart auctions and we enjoy art
and we enjoy shopping, which isalso part of the fun, I guess.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And we weren't the only people to buy artwork.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Oh hell, no, there was lots of people.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And, by the sounds of it, lots of other people we
know that have been in cruiseshave also bought artwork.
Lots of people.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
So the sounds of it, lots of other people we know
that have been on cruises havealso bought artwork.
Lots of people.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
It's a very very lucrative thing on the ships.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It's fun and it is a way to take memories home.
It is, I like to think.
A couple of friends of oursposted recently on Facebook
saying oh, you finally know thecruise is over once you get your
artwork delivered.
And I think your comment onthat was no.
And I think your comment onthat was no, because every time
you look at that artwork you canremember the cruise.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, and the memories that go with it.
And it's true, yeah, 100%.
And we said that to Troy whenhe bought the artwork.
He said remember.
It's not about buying theartwork itself, it's about
having the memories attached tothe artwork, Attached to the
artwork.
And people will comment on theartwork and it will bring you
back to happy moments.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I finally put a piece of art up in my room, but that
wasn't off the cruise ship.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It wasn't off the cruise ship, but we'll talk
about that when we get to thelatter stages, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Anyway, yeah, so All right so we did art auction, we
did a bit of laying around inthe solarium.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Now, the solarium itself is quite an entertaining
area, isn't it?
It's all adult, only Adult,only Not that there was very few
kids, which is really fantasticfor us children are horrible
and trying.
Trying.
Holly had their children, butthey were able to entertain
themselves and they were great.
They loved it, they had a cagefor them they didn't have cages,
it was called star treks orwhatever it was.
(03:55):
I know it's kids play area,whatever.
Yeah, it was great.
They loved it.
Um so um.
Yes, we went and lounged inthearium, which is basically the
front end of the ship, and it'sunder a complete glass dome as
such, so it's pretty cool, yeah,and it's more like a tropical
island sort of thing, isn't?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
it.
Yeah, it is.
It's also got palm trees, allthat kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
But it's well done, isn't it?
It's a room.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Stuff like that Again no toilets and Bugbear no
toilets.
And some hot guys no changerooms.
Hot guys, oh yeah, definitelyhot guys there, definitely hot
guys there, stuff like that.
And there was a couple of likeoh, remember that one time you
were there.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Dave and I fell asleep when I was tired.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
When you were tired, you were having a nap, right.
I was down in the pool andthere was those other gay couple
that were there Yep and Davewoke up to, basically because
when Dave wears his boardies,what do you wear under your
boardies?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Dave, nothing, of course.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Nothing Correct.
Correct Like you're supposed toeveryone.
All right.
No, if you're going to wearboardies, at least do the
decency of wearing no underwearunderneath.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
But what did you see the guys doing, dave?
Well, I kind of woke up, or Iwas semi asleep, so, yeah, being
the opposite semi, and um, yeah, I looked across and I had my
glasses on and my hat and Icould see them.
They were looking over at me,but one had his camera in his
hand as his like phone camera,yeah, and he was definitely
taking photographs of mepointing and I didn't realize
(05:22):
yeah, exactly because I didn'trealize I had my leg bent up and
then I realized that my wholenut sack and everything else was
like my balls were all exposed,so obviously them being gay
guys.
Obviously got a thrill from it,and yeah yeah, they were loving
it.
They were loving it, so Ididn't I didn't put my leg down
anytime soon no, no, no.
He said well, mate, you're gonnaphotograph it, I'm gonna give
(05:43):
you angles, then I just sort oflike turned my head and just
like closed my eyes and thought,okay, let them imagine what
they're imagining.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Let them have what they want Exactly.
Give the people what they need.
And what were you doing in thepool, mate?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I was.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Chatting up, all the lesbians Chatting up.
I love stories.
I love different stories fromdifferent walks of life and
things like that, and I waschatting to all different kinds
of people in the spa area.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I could hear you every now and then.
I could hear you laughing.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
We'd all have chuckles and laugh.
I could hear them laughing withyou or at you, as everyone
that's ever had a conversationwith me right knows that I have
a story for everything.
So if you tell me that you wenthere and did this, I'm not
going to know my name'sspecifics, otherwise I'm going
to go on a tangent, but I willhave a story to back it up
undeniably.
So I was having lots of chatswith lots of people in different
(06:33):
pools and spas and stuff likethat.
It was lots of fun.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
The.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Solarium was a great place to chat with, and didn't?
That's where the family andstuff was, wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Again, it was a great setup.
The whole ship was a greatsetup in terms of, like, the
facilities for families andpools.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Well, the other pool, there was one guy up there that
was.
Basically he did follow thecommandments of no underwear
underneath his shorts and stufflike that, and he'd jump in the
water and he'd jump out and look, he wasn't massively in power,
but it hugs you, but it hugged,it hugged and I like a nice wet
(07:14):
pair of boardies stuck to a nicearound the whole VPL line and
the cock line and stuff likethat.
You can see everything and I'ma very visual man, as most men
are, but you don't point likethat.
Yeah, I don't actually standthere and point like Dave does.
But yeah, dave goes, look overthere and points straight at it
(07:36):
and goes look snacks.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Obvious, obvious, obvious.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
But yeah, it makes it super obvious.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
But yeah, anyway, so we're digressing again.
So that was that part of theday.
So that took us up to likeevening time, evening time,
afternoon evening, yeah.
So went back, had a shower, gotchanged as usual, um, went down
, had lunch.
No dinner, dinner, dinner, yeahdinner yep um in our restaurant
in the restaurant with thegirls and then we headed
(08:01):
upstairs to 270, which was theback end of the ship where the
one of the theater partingswhich is a very, very big area,
isn't it great?
and it was really nice, and wediscussed that on other other
podcasts, um, and basically,yeah, so we met up with our
friends that we'd met on thecruise ship.
Yeah, gary, um john yeah, mikeal um yeah, simon, and simon.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah, kim Al, all of them.
Yeah, simon and Was Simon?
Yeah, simon was there and Scottand Scott and Fi and Vince were
there.
No, I don't think they werethere for the couples game.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Were they not?
Oh no, they weren't, theyweren't sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
And then, oh my God, karen, karen, that's her name.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yes, I wonder where you're going.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I'm trying to think of a name.
She's a super classy lady.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well, they're all classy people.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah, yeah, but she was like again, not unlike Fee.
I would sort of wait to seewhat Karen was wearing, because,
again, she's very glamorous.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
She's very glamorous.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, like 24-7.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So yeah, yeah, so we did a couples game.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
All right, dave.
So the couples game we're not acouple, as everyone knows.
However, karen, the lady fromBingo, this is Diffin Karen.
Yes, she's one of theentertainment crew.
Right, she actually come overbecause she couldn't get people
to join in this game.
Right, she needed three couplesto get up on the stage and she
(09:25):
couldn't get people.
Now, she'd known me for a whileby this stage at least a couple
of days and knows that if weget to ask or not, even ask.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Well, she knew we were gay as well.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And I would jump up on this stage.
Yeah, we'd had plenty of chatswith her about the podcast and
stuff like that as well.
Well, she come over to ourgroup and she said you guys get
up, help me out and we go.
Well, we're not a couple.
She said it doesn't matter,just get up and have fun.
So there was a couple that.
So we ended up getting up andhelping her out.
So there were three couples,including ourselves.
(09:53):
Three couples includingourselves, two plus us.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, so three in total right.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So there was one couple that had been together
for 47 years yeah, 47 years,yeah, for a long time, but he
looked smoking hot.
He was smoking hot, like youknow, so, yeah, so he was quite
nice, um, nice beard and veryfit body and stuff like this.
Um, they had us, and then youhad a younger couple who'd been
engaged for seven years, so theywere in their late, late 20s,
(10:18):
I'd say yeah, and then we'dfound out later in their actual
cruise that they were bisexual,um, and they loved us as well.
Yeah, they loved us as well.
Yeah, they loved us as wellBecause, yeah, I think he was
not just bisexual but bisexualand fluid, happy to play with
men and women.
Yeah, that's what bisexual is.
God, I'm a fucking idiot, Iknow.
Just work that out, I'm a bitspecial at times, anyway.
(10:41):
So when they come to the introsand stuff like that, they
introduced us all.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah right, so they separated us.
So the women, including myself,then had to sit on the front on
chairs.
Oh, hang on hang on.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Let's go back when they come to the intros.
They introduced the firstcouple.
They said that they'd beentogether for 30 years.
They introduced the next couple.
They said they'd been engagedfor seven years.
And then they introduced us andkaren said well, you guys
aren't a couple.
I said no, no, we're justfriends.
And then then I said friendswith benefits and karen
basically stopped there and shewent to the audience and she
(11:13):
said all right, I've known theseguys for a few days now.
She said anyone that getseasily offended please leave now
.
Um, as a bit of precursor,because, again, I get a bit
loose at times with my mouth andeverything else uh, yes,
clothes come off.
Yeah, clothes come off.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Definitely things like that happen now you're used
to being on the stage, it'sslightly different for me.
I mean, I, I'm a, I'm game foreverything, but I wouldn't go up
on my own, so going up with youwas fine, yeah.
Yeah, I knew I was safe and Iknew I wasn't going to be on my
own being up there.
Yes, correct, so I was happy todo it.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
But yeah, so then the games commenced.
So they split us up.
The boys were at the back,hence me.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
No, we should have been the other way around.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
And the girls were at the front, which was Dave, Now
the first thing they had us do.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Dave, I'll let you explain.
Yes, so basically, becausethat's what?
So each couple took a turn.
So it was the first couple,were the older couple what was
the actual?
yeah, I'm just going to explainso the first couple did that,
did it first, then we did it andthen the young couple.
So the premise of the firstgame was basically the female
sorry, the male member of theteam had to kneel on a chair
with their backside pointingupwards towards the female Yep,
(12:31):
and basically they had to spreadtheir legs apart.
And then Karen, the host, wouldthen place a toilet roll
between their thighs or theirbuttocks area, yep, and told
them to clench it hard, allright, in the meantime.
Meantime, the girls, includingmyself, were then blindfolded
individually, and then we had apool cue placed between our legs
and we had no idea where wewere going.
(12:52):
So what happened was the maleperson had a microphone, yeah,
and he had to basically guidethe female with their pool cue
into his butt cheeks, using thepool cue to insert it into the
hole of the toilet roll.
Yeah, correct.
So that was the premise of it.
So the first couple did it allfun.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Two minutes 27 seconds, two and a half minutes
yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So they had fun.
The crowd were loving itcheering away.
It's a lot harder than it looks.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Well, what's it?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
though I don't think it was, it could be for most
people because, as we found out,we were professionals, we were
experts.
So my turn came.
So Matt got on the chair,basically Bent over on this
chair, and then Karen went toplace the toilet roll between
his legs and he turned aroundand said to her he goes, I don't
think I need that.
I said I don't need that.
We've done this before Manytimes.
I wish she laughed.
She laughed, and then theaudience in stitches at this
(13:46):
stage, and then they blindfoldedme and then I got my poor cue
and then matt just said comeforward, come forward, come
forward.
So I just ran as fast as Icould, and within 12 seconds it
was inserted into the hole andthen karen goes wow, that was
fast.
And what did you say?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
and I turn around and said he's not usually finished
that quick.
Um, so again we got.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
We got a few laughs, um, no needless to say, for that
one and then it was the turn ofthe younger couple, and again
they have fun.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
They did a good job and they did about one minute 25
, not as quick as us, but soyeah, so we were the victors of
that first round, which is fun,so it was.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
The second round.
Was what matt?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
we.
So dave, had to stand in frontfacing the audience and he had a
balloon pump.
No, we had the balls.
Oh, the balls.
Sorry, yes, sorry, the balls.
So we had these balls and wehad to place them.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
They were like a squishy, stress ball right.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
So it wasn't a big ball right, it was just like a
tennis ball-sized ball right andwe had to place them on our
chest.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
And roll them up to our neckline.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
No, we had to place them on our belly sorry.
And then roll them up to ourneckline without using your
hands at all, and then put themin between your necks, basically
, and stuff like that, and thenmove them.
So we started doing this and wewere the first couple to do
this with me.
Yeah, for the life of me, wejust couldn't get it.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
So what I did is I threw dave on the floor,
literally all right.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And then I placed, place the ball on my stomach and
then I roll.
I laid on top of him, rolled itup there with a groin in my
neckline my crotch ended upright in his face again, not an
unfit.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And then you twisted around and then got it into my
neck and then basically, we thenhad to try and stand up, and of
course, do you think we couldfucking try and stand up?
The audience were fucking, wewere laughing at this stage as
well.
The audience were killingthemselves, laughing they were
killing themselves laughing.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Every time we'd go to get up, the ball would drop out
, so we'd have to start again.
We eventually got up with thisin some house situation.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Needless to say, we definitely did not win that
round at all the older coupletook a while as well, but they
did it eventually.
They had the same problem keptthem bouncing out from there as
well, kept bouncing out and allthat kind of stuff.
And then the younger couplewell, they were just like they
smashed it.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
They smashed that one .
That was really.
They did that one really inrecord time.
It was quite fun.
But I did that one really inrecord time, it was quite fun,
but yeah.
And then part three was theballoon, was the balloon.
So Dave had to actually standthere with a balloon pump like a
manual balloon pump in betweenhis legs.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Which was not easy at all, because you're trying to
hold something that is likegoing to be, yeah, plastic
between your knees, yeah, andsomeone is then in front of you,
as Matt would have been.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Well, I then had to place a balloon on the tip and,
one-handed, I had to basicallypump the balloon up until it
burst, almost like it waswanking me off.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
It looked like.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I was jerking him off fundamentally and again not a
position I'm unfamiliar withright.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
And we thought we'd smash it in because we were the
second team to go on that one,the young couple went first and
they did three.
They did three balloons andthey we thought, oh, I thought
I'm gonna get this easy rightholy fuck, my wrist was so my
knees were killing me.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Those knees were killing you.
Yeah, I was there on my and I'msitting there going.
This is actually like I'd blownthem up and so, just when they
got to the part where they wereabout to burst, they'd fly off
the end of the balloon thing andgo away.
Um so I think we might get twoI think we got two um, so again
we lost there, and then theolder couple did it right?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
yeah, they did well, they got one one.
No, they did two as well.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
So yeah, yeah so it was um, it was a challenge,
needless to say that one andthen the last one was where you
had I had to sit.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Well, the girls had to sit on the chair, and then
they had to have a stripper, iethe guys.
A lap dance.
The guys had to give him a lapdance.
Well, the old guy did it firstand he was very very he was good
A bit reserved.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, a bit reserved.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, he was definitely.
He was trying his best and itwas just hard because his wife
wasn't really sort of like asengaged, she wasn't into it as
such.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I think if he had another guy, on there.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
It was an awkward moment for them, wasn't it?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
They weren't natural at doing that, it was like oh
fuck, we haven't fucked for like10 years, 20 years, 30 years,
but sure I'll give you a lapdance.
It was quite fun.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It was very basic and monotone, wasn't it, but it was
fun, it was fun stillnonetheless.
Then it was a couple, the youngcouple.
Then they had fun, didn't they?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
He did really, really well.
And then there was us, andagain, of course, my shirt came
off um I was grinding all overday.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
It's lovely.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I just think now I don't, I can't even remember I'd
, yeah, have to watch for theplayback, and I hope there's
none I know there is some outthere somewhere but yeah, it was
naughty and fun and we did allright on that one as well, but
we didn't end up winning overall.
But we all got the same prize.
We all won.
We basically all got a squishyball and a hat each, which is
(18:45):
okay.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
It was fun, but entertaining I mean we had a, a
squishy ball and a hat each,which is okay.
It was fun, but entertaining Imean we had a lot of people come
up after us and said, oh God,you guys were so fun yeah we had
heaps of fun, we enjoyed it alot, and then we went back to
the gay bar, obviously, becausethat's what we did every night.
That's what we did every night.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
And that was pretty much that day which was fun with
friends and chatted until thewee hours of the morning again,
no doubt finished off our nightwith pizza, because that's what
we did when we were on holidays.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So we had another cruising day the next day.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yep another cruising day.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
We're moving forward now at pace, if we can, yep.
So this was Wednesday, the 27thof November, and it was just an
average sea day, really, wasn'tit?
Yeah?
There was nothing really majorplanned on that day was there in
day, really, wasn't it?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
you know, there was nothing really major planned on
that day, was it in terms ofentertainment?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
we probably went and did art seminars.
Well, we did the art seminars.
We had a picasso seminar thatday, because I wrote it down,
because it was very entertaining.
Mike again, the um, theauctioneer.
He was spectacular, um, good onthe eye but very, very good on
his knowledge of artwork.
But he was just he's.
He has adhd, which he admitsand admits and he flourishes
with it because it suits hispersonality and his type of work
(19:50):
.
Basically, he can entertainpeople for hours and you
wouldn't get bored.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Well, he's very detailed and he knows his shit.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
But he engages so quickly, but he's so
quick-witted as well.
He's so quick-witted, yeah,he's clever, yeah, so him and
his staff, which are also verygood as well.
There was Sean Patrick andwhat's his name, the other guy,
the guy that was helping.
We did know him.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, I can't remember.
He'll come back to us anyway,He'll come back eventually.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah, so they were great guys.
They all knew their work aswell.
But Mike, you know top manSuper star.
Yeah, great, but I wasimpressed because I hadn't
really known much about picassoin detail.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah, and even though it was only like an hour
seminar, but the detail and hispronunciation of the names and
everything was absolutely spoton.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
He was.
He was a phenomenal one and hedid roll them off correct and
he's south african, so he's gota slight accent anyway, but yeah
yeah, yeah, and we love that.
That was awesome, um, but mike,you know you're great and I hope
you do listen to our podcastand we loved that.
That was awesome.
It's hot, yeah, um, but, mike,you know you're great and I hope
you do listen to our podcastsand we we look forward to
catching up with you guys againon another cruise ship at some
point.
Yeah, sure, and if you aren't,if you have never bought
(20:57):
anything from park west and youare luckily to have mike as your
auctioneer, then definitelyengage with him because he is
spectacular.
Yeah, he's great, he's awesome.
Okay, so that was that morning,and then we went to bingo in
the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, we did bingo because we did.
No, it was fun.
That's all right.
It was fun, had a good chat,yeah yeah, and her stuff yep
yeah, and then we then goodreason to go to bingo.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
yeah, um, but Got his nipples pierced Without
digressing, because we're tryingto summarise this Summarise,
this right.
So we then caught up withfriends again after dinner, as
normal in the gay bar?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, in the gay bar.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
And then we then went to the main theatre to watch.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
For those that haven't heard previous episodes
it's not an actual gay bar 10 to11 every night.
Yeah Well, we made it a gay barfrom 10 to 11 every night.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Well, it was just easier to tell people which bar
we were going to yeah, we justsaid the gay bar.
Everyone knew it was a gay bar,so yeah, yeah, so we then went
to the main theatre to watch theDiamonds and Feathers show.
Again, it was nice, it wasmainstream, wasn't it?
It was fun.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Was it one of the best shows I've ever seen on a
ship?
No, was it one of the worst?
No, look, my standard's prettyhigh now, but again it was
difficult.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I mean, I found on this particular ship, matt, the
main theatre was quite small.
Yeah, it was Compared to thesize of the ship.
Going on a smaller ship andhaving a big theatre was
definitely different, yeah, andI felt that being up in the
higher end, you didn't reallyget to see the vantage points
very well, especially on theedges of it.
You didn't get that sort ofnatural sort of thing, whereas
(22:33):
on the smaller ships you seem toget a good vantage point
wherever you're sat in theauditorium.
Shall I say.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, look, it was entertaining, it was fun, it was
what it was supposed to be fora cruise ship, and we did see a
few good shows.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
We saw that one with the harp, which I can't remember
.
That was really good.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, he was really good.
He was very, very good.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
The harpist was phenomenal and obviously we saw
the magician and we saw a fewother ones.
I don't know if we've mentionedthem in previous ones because I
can't remember what we talkedabout.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
But we did pretty much all the shows pretty much.
So, yeah, the only show that Ididn't rate, which was led,
which was the top of the bill,wasn't it?
It was supposed to be thistop-billing show.
It's called Starwater Starwaterand it's not on anymore because
they had issues with thestaging and all that kind of
stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah, it took pretty much three-quarters of the
actual holiday.
Sorry, that was my watch goingoff.
I thought my watch going offthat's all right, that's okay.
That's okay, let's go past it,it's all right.
So.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Starwater was.
I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it,but I thought it had zero
storyline.
Yeah, but again it was a cruiseship.
My expectation again, becauseI've done theatre, I've done all
that.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
The singers were fantastic.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
They sang brilliantly .
They danced phenomenally great.
Yeah, they sang fantastic.
They danced amazing.
Um look, there's no denyingthat they're very good at their
craft.
Yeah, I just didn't think thestoryline.
I couldn't make out what thestoryline was.
It was a bit disjointed but itwas weird.
But it was okay, it was stillfun and it was like and I had a
(24:01):
couple of naps, but that's okay,that's what I do anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
So that was pretty much that night days so our next
port day was cans.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I was looking forward to cans because, um, I like
sunshine, I like water, I likeall that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
So this is literally three days before we were due to
finish or four days, yeah, afew days in um so cans the the
first bit was yeah, it was anightmare, and tender was a
nightmare to get off, and thiswas common throughout the ship.
Everybody complained about the….
Speaker 1 (24:34):
We got on one of the fast ferries on the way over,
which was actually reallybeneficial.
That was about 11 o'clock.
We got off.
Yeah, we got off at 11 o'clockor something, because it did
take a while to get off the boat, off the ship, but then the bus
ride into town was like 40minutes or something like that I
think, and it took forever toget to somewhere that was not
(24:57):
even open.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
And you're talking.
Cairns is quite a big area.
It was a Thursday.
It wasn't like it was a Sundayor something like that, so lots
of backpackers go there, a lotof tourists go there, because
Cairns itself is a verybeautiful area.
It's on the sort of likenorthern side of the east coast
of Queensland.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
So I had potential.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
There were three cruise ships in that day as well
, so you're talking 10,000people, 10,000 people Plus maybe
more, but there was lucky to behalf a dozen shops open in the
whole thing.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Half a dozen shops are open in the whole thing, and
again, we weren't there at 7o'clock in the morning.
This was like about lunchtime 1o'clock by the time we got in
there, and stuff like that.
So it was just like it was justmissed opportunities.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Limited stores open, limited anything, and they
dropped us off by the coast.
We had quite a bit of a walk toget into the town.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, that's easy, I don't mind.
Yeah, but what I'm?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
saying where they dropped us off.
There was no natural sort oflike direction.
It was quite a distance frommost people, so people were
looking which direction we go.
They gave us a map each tofollow, which is fine, yeah.
But it sort of took you aroundthe coastline and thenmade pool,
which is really good, yeah,which is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, that was fun Because you can't swim in a lot
of the oceans there and stufflike that.
A bit of perving there, yeah, alittle bit.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
We had Bert and Ernie with us that day, didn't we?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, we did, so they came out with us, they came out
with us, took lots of videoswith them, find one gym and we
did bump into a few of our crewmembers.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, we bumped into a few through gary and um yep
john and john and kim and that,and then we then fee and vince
quarters on camera, didn't theycarry?
Speaker 1 (26:34):
yeah, we walked past them in the pub but they
messaged us and sent us, sent aphoto of us, like, but we talked
, remember, we talked to thatperson.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
On the way back we talked to that person.
I know we digress a little bit,but that couple we thought were
on a cruise ship and theyweren't, but they were having
such an engaging conversation.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
People just started talking.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
And because we had Bert and Ernie with us again, it
was like a magnet.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
A conversation starter?
Yeah, for sure.
So people were lovely.
It's just that I don't thinkthe town itself took advantage
of the fact that there was10,000 people.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
But there was one shop that we did find, which is
really good.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
It was awesome and we did take a card, but I don't
know where I put any of thosecards from.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
They'll be here, somewhere they will be, so
there'll be somewhere we'll putthem up on our podcast when we
come to a summary listing, we'llput down the places you and you
know and, yeah, places to goand check out yeah, but this
shop had a lot of the cu in thent, which is a unofficial
tourism campaign becauseNorthern Territory wouldn't do
it.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
but I tell you what it's done more for Northern
Territory tourism than any oftheir official campaigns.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Yeah, they had this pink CUNNT hat in their window,
which I saw and I said, matt,you've got to have this.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
So, dave, seen it and went Matt, you've got to have
this.
And I went, oh, and so Istopped there and pulled it off
the top of the mannequin thing,put it on my head and it didn't
fit properly, unfortunately,Right.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Well, it did fit, but you've got funny ears.
You've got funny ears, so thesesort of hats don't fit over
your ears.
Certain trucker caps don't fitme and certain ones fit me
perfectly, but yes, I do have,so the owner was sitting out the
front, so she was sitting outthe front having a ciggy with a
friend talking, a friend havinga year a yarn right and she's
got.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
If you need anything, let me know yeah, yeah, we'll
catch up, oh cool, we're justhaving a look around, so she's
got, she said.
And she said she said, look,different ones are different
fits, she said, so just try acouple of different ones on
there.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Well, that's when you , just when you came back in and
we were trying them on, thenyou asked it.
That's when that happened.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, and so then she , um she basically said look,
there's start telling us aboutthis shop and how the different,
different artists basically herlanguage was very different.
Her language was fuckingphenomenal.
So this woman dropped cunt andfuck like they were salt and
pepper on chips.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
But they weren't offensive, they weren't
derogatory.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
The way she spoke.
It was part of her vocabularyand it worked fantastically, it
worked.
Like we were at the countertalking with her at one stage.
And we were talking with her atone stage and she turned around
and she just looked on theground.
Chanel's picked up Dave's hatand brought it in for him.
That's from downstairs, no,that's from the bedroom.
(29:13):
So this woman's dropped cuntand fuck into her vocabulary so
well that we were standing atthe counter talking and some
other woman's walking and she'sgoing oh, I'm just serving these
cunts and I'll be right withyou, love.
And I was just like okay, she'squite classy.
The woman that walked in wasshe was somebody you would look
(29:35):
at and visualize as a classylady.
Um, that didn't say those words, um, but she was like okay, and
it's just like, because the waythis woman said it so
nonchalantly, it was just youknow.
So nobody could be offended bywhat she said or how she said it
at all, and it was just fun, soit was fun.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
But the shop itself.
But she was also back in.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
That's what I was just about to say.
The shop itself.
A lot of the stuff that she hadin there, or I'd say most of it
, was all australian made.
Right, it was all local artists, right?
Um, there's people's shirts.
I bought a stubby holder for mysister in there, um, because it
had lezzo on it, um, or it hadlego, but it was made to look
(30:19):
like lezzo.
Um, but it was all these localartists that have been produced
locally, whether it be in Sydneyor in Australia somewhere, and
she bought it, basically, intoher store and she sold it.
Now, her stubby holders andthat weren't cheap, right?
However, they were made locallyand the money went back to the
(30:42):
local artists and stuff and thequality was fantastic.
We found a book in there that Ibought for my great-niece and it
was cool.
It had these little interactiveQR codes.
I think it was called Alice orsomething like that.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
It was a turtle, it was about a turtle, and all the
money raised from this bookbasically went to the turtle
rescue foundations and stufflike that.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
So the book was actually narrated by a guy that
was from Denmark or that sort ofpart of the IP room.
And he moved over here with hisfamily.
He fell in love with theturtles and then sold everything
up to come over here and set upa hospital.
A non-profit, basically Ahospital sort of thing for
wildlife and turtles inparticular, and he then set
about writing the book aboutthis particular turtle, about
(31:26):
his daughter sorry, herinteraction with the turtles,
yeah, and everything that was inthe book.
All the illustrations, wereactually taken from real-life
stories.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Real-life photos and stories.
Yeah, so if you read a pagethat had a QR code on it, you
could scan that QR code and itwould take you to the actual
photo or video or video thatthat story was about.
So there was one that wewatched where the baby was
giving mother was birthing allthese turtle eggs and things
like that.
Um, it was, it was brilliantand it was really good and
(31:56):
there's a follow-up book whichwe didn't buy.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, uh, but you can , I mean we'll try and find the
name of the book and we'll putit on our post so you can
actually have a look.
It's well worth the money, it'svery engaging and it's just
really clever.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah and it was.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
It was awesome, fun, it was awesome fun, so um so
yeah, so that was pretty muchthat was pretty much.
Cairns now?
Would I rate it?
No, I've been to Cairns beforeand did I rate it then?
Not really.
I mean, I think if you're goingto stay there for a few days
and go up and look at theWhitsundays, and not we're out
to go on the Barrier Reef and goto the Daintree area, you'd
(32:29):
have a lot more fun becausethere's a lot to do there.
Yeah, but for a day excursion,not a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I just would have liked to have seen all the shops
open.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, I think it would have been a different vibe
.
We did call into one of the artgalleries, didn't we, yeah, we
did, we talked to a local and hewas an ex-nurse, which is good.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
He was very creative wasn't he?
Speaker 2 (32:46):
and stuff like that.
Yeah, very cool, but again interms of what we saw.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It wasn't a ride-off, it wasn't a lombok but, it
wasn't amazing by any means.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
So then our next stop was and we didn't do much of
that, I think we got back on theship and there wasn't again, I
mean, a lot to do that nightwhen we saw the harp show.
I can't remember.
Um, yeah, we just a basicevening again on the ship, so
we're not going to digress toomuch.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
But the very next day we went to early beach.
Now that was lovely.
On on the flip side it wasagain.
It was the tenders.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
No, yep, was it 10?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
yes, it was, but it happened very quickly but it was
quick and the bus ride in was15 minutes, yep, and the drop
was basically smack bang in themiddle of the center and that
was lovely.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Airlie Beach is part of the Whitsunday Islands.
Okay, so beautiful, absolutelybeautiful.
Again, if you're going to go onholiday there, you need to
spend about five days there soyou can go and snorkel on the
Barrier Reef.
Yeah, but it's a relaxingholiday.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
It is a very chilled holiday.
It's not a go-getter do A lotof backpackers that go there to
work.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, so the hospitality is phenomenal over
there Young people working harddoing their job, which is great.
But you feel like you're on atropical island paradise, sort
of like these mangrove mount.
It was like mangrove, um, likeareas of the actual beach.
Yeah, yeah which was slightlydifferent, but again, but the
views were spectacular, viewsare beautiful um.
They did the moat, they put alocal market on for us, which,
(34:08):
again, which was very, very coolpineapple shirts yeah, and we
got his web page.
We got that yeah, that waspretty good.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Again, he was a local guy as he turned out to be a
gay guy because he contactedMatt straight away on Grindr.
He picked me up on Grindr yep,which is pretty cool, so that
was fun.
Airlie Beach, again lovely.
As opposed to Cairns.
They knew that they weregetting ships in, so they took
all our money, which was great.
They opened shops, they openedbars, the pub there was really
cool.
You hub, there was really cool.
(34:36):
You look straight out across tothe water.
It was lovely, lovely, lovely,lovely, lovely.
We'd definitely go back toellie beach then.
We the night was fun, was that?
Speaker 2 (34:46):
the quest the quest.
Okay, so that was the night wedid so we got back on board
around about the downside to ohsorry, going back to cairns, and
then we just gone back on.
Cairns on the way back was anightmare for people.
Getting back, yeah, whatever,we thought the tender was about
going back, but tenders comingback was even worse.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
So that was a bitch fest on the on the cruise ship
that day obviously yeah, andpeople didn't get off at Airlie
Beach because they'd had such ashit time on the tenders, but
they missed out on on um, onCairns but they did, they should
they shit, they got, they gottheir shit sorted.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
They did, they didn't they, they did, and it was all
good.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
So yeah, but so we got back on board and we went
and did dinner and all that kindof stuff.
But then they had this thingcalled the Quest.
Now, because we were part ofthe Facebook group, we'd seen
that David's saying thatsometimes even nudity happens in
this thing.
So obviously we were going tobe part of that.
So we got the whole crewtogether for the Quest.
Obviously we were going to bepart of that.
So we got the whole crewtogether for the quest.
(35:39):
So we're talking, all thefriends we had, all the friends
we'd made on board, so there,was probably about 15 of us all
together wasn't there?
Yeah, probably it was a big crew.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
But Gary and not Gary , I think.
Gary and John and Kim had donethis before, and John and John
had done this before, so theyknew what to expect, but they
didn't, if that makes sense,because every quest is different
.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
They're slightly different, but Kim had gone back
to the room and bought a sparebra and a few things in her
little handbag.
That she remembered from thelast time that she remembered
from the last time, so that camein very beneficial.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
So basically, the host this time was the main
director for Thiago no thefemale, the lady with glasses,
the one that did the oh yeah,katie, katie.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Yeah, and she was good at hosting it.
She was very good, she was okayat hosting it.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I thought she was she was entertaining.
Yeah, I didn't rate her becauseI didn't think she was very
skilled in anything else the waythe Quest game show happened is
everybody in the audience waspart of the actual show.
Yes, so one time.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
They asked three captains, two team captains, a
male and a female, for eachlittle section.
So they broke the section upinto four sections.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
The auditorium up into four sections Because it
was a curved section, halfsemicircle, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
So they broke it up into four sections.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
So again, naturally I got volunteered and we had the
worst area because it was thehardest to get.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
It was the hardest to get to, but that's all right.
Um, we had um, I volunteered,slash got volunteered to be
their captain which, again, I'mnot in it, I don't have an issue
with and I had a lady that wassitting behind us.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
She volunteered to be yeah, so there's other members
of the audience in our team thatweren't part of our group.
There was other people there,so it wasn't just us, it wasn't
just us, so it's probably about40 people in each section one.
They maybe made more than that,more, maybe more.
Yeah, it's pretty packed thequest, right yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
but then you got given different tasks to do.
Now we're going to go not goingto go one by one through each
task, because that'll take usall freaking day, and we were
currently up to about 36 minutes.
So, um, we want to kind of wrapthis up in some kind of time
frame so we can get back to ournormal reviews of saunas and
stuff like that.
Anyway, your digressions arestopped.
Yeah, oh, come on.
So what we did in this quest,so they'd ask for things like
(37:48):
they'd say all right, we wantthree bras all strung together,
right?
So you'd have to run up to theaudience right or to your
section of the audience and getthese three bras, bring them
back and present them to katie,the um cruise director there was
one member of our team, coffee,who is absolutely beautiful in
every way sensational lady andshe she ripped that bra off.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
You know what?
She came out of her comfortzone and she told us.
I said you boys were now wouldnever done.
I would never have done any ofthis and I felt a little bit
guilty because I didn't want tocoerce her into doing things
that she would do.
But do you know what?
She went along and she did itand she had fun.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
She had a hoot with it, so she stepped right out of
her comfort zone.
She was definitely my MVPbecause she gave up so much
stuff.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
She gave up earrings, but she had no bra on, remember
at that point.
Yeah, so she'd already takenher bra off and she realised,
and she was the only femalewilling to give up her dress
after nobody would volunteer,one of the ones we had to do.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
We had to change.
Men had to change into women'sclothes and women had to change
into men's clothes on the stage,basically.
So I've got my shirt and tryingto stick it over her head while
she's pulled her dress down.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
And you managed to do it without exposing anything.
She was like, yeah, we did.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Yeah, we kept it modest-ish.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
As you could do for that sort of show.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
But it was fun we had to.
Then we went through differentthings.
Like I said, there was a bra,there was a man and a woman in
one pair of pants.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I took my trousers off.
For you to have two trousers on, didn't you?
Yep?
Speaker 1 (39:21):
And then I went up on the stage with you to do.
They wanted the tallest guy inyour crew and the shortest guy.
So I wasn't the shortest, youwasn't the shortest, but dave
thought outside the square andwent up.
There there was, it's got thetallest guy.
And dave went up there and wenton his knees again not an
unfamiliar position for dave, um.
But everyone was pissed offlaughing and she said I'll take
that because you don't knowwhat's coming right.
So then they had to turn thetents.
Well, this guy was tall and hewas gyrating his balls,
(39:46):
basically.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Right in my face.
I had no choice because theywere there.
And then he bent over and hewas slapping my ass and
everything.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
It was funny as fuck.
I loved it and he didn't evenrealize what he was doing until
he'd seen it back on the videothat his wife had recorded.
And I went oh yeah, you like itthough, didn't you, buddy?
And he's got no, no, no, I'mstraight.
I'm like yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll never end straight until acouple of beers, but it was fun
.
But it was fun.
And then they called for thefinal round, like we did a
(40:15):
couple of bonus rounds where wehad dance-offs and stuff like
that, which was fun.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
You mentioned you've got about Gary's teeth as well.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Oh yeah, they asked for false teeth, right?
So one of our friends, notmentioning any names, pulled his
teeth out.
So I've got up and I've grabbedhim in my hand and she's gone.
Oh, like, I've gone running upto Katie with him and she's gone
.
You don't know where they'vebeen.
I said you don't know where myhand's been.
(40:41):
So we got that point and at theend they wanted us to get a man
and they wanted him to dresshim up in the prettiest way
possible.
So we got Vince, one of ourawesome friends, for his husband
and we prettied up his beard.
(41:01):
We put little butterfly clipsin it, we put lipstick on.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
We gave him.
He's got like a.
He's got like a true zz toplike, yeah, he's got the most,
but he is so fun with it, yeah,yeah he's great, yeah, he's.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
He's an amazing human as well.
Yeah, um, and how's all?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
the friends.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, yeah, obviously , but um, we're not friends with
assholes no, not at all no notever um and um.
so we dressed him up.
We basically hiked up hisshorts, we tied up his top into
a little tube top, sort of thelittle knot, like you did in the
80s, and stuff.
Um, he put a pair of like heelson and then he had a handbag
(41:37):
with another hair heels theywere like the flats he was
wearing and then the heels hewas wearing home from the club.
But then they actually askedthem what your name is, what
your female name is and whatyour profession was.
So we gave him the name I'mjust trying to think it was
Vagine Spreadalot.
(41:58):
Yes, we gave him VagineSpreadalot, which was like a
vagina spread-a-lot, and thatwas quite a hit.
And then he wanted hisprofession to be stripper or
something like that.
I said the milk.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
I said the what was it like?
I can't remember.
I think it was a butter flapper, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
I don't know what it was, but he ended up saying he
was an exotic dancer orsomething.
I can't remember.
But yeah, it was a lot of fun.
We didn't win the quest becausethe guy that got picked for the
other one he really camped itup and he got them to win,
that's for sure.
But it was a hell of a fun, funnight and everyone that didn't
(42:40):
know us prior to that definitelyknew us after that.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
But it was just fun that everybody took part
regardless and we were watchingthe other team members doing it
and we were watching them aswell, having fun as well, and
there was lots of conversationafterwards.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
There was no nudity.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Well, there was almost nudity.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Well, there was a few women that showed their nipples
because she wanted piercings,Piercings yeah, correct, correct
, and then yeah, yes, so, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
So that was a fun night at the quest and that was
pretty much the last.
Yeah, we just had a cruisingday after that.
Yeah, and again not much elsehappened because we were packing
.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Well, yeah, cruising day was, we had that, we were
playing bingo on that day.
And then we had the helicopter,as I remember, because there
was a….
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah, somebody got winched because there was a
medical episode On that night.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
yeah, we remember down at the pizza place and we
heard they go off about twoo'clock.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
no one o'clock in the morning wasn't it One o'clock
in the morning, emergencyemergency, emergency evacuation.
So it was code blue, basically,yeah, so somebody that actually
had a major incident.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah and then they end up getting heli-vac'd off
the next day because I think thecrew doctor decided to keep
observating.
Then he got worse over time andthen they, they did so they
called it.
The captain put his foot downon the actual uh, the steam on
the on the ship to get homeearlier and then he let her off,
yeah once, once they realizedthat you know he was stable,
yeah, well they got him off theship on the helicopter, then he
(44:04):
he pulled back on the throttle,so we weren't really going at
all very fast.
Yeah, we sort of made up thattime.
We'd actually caught up withthat intense and that was pretty
much the cruise.
And then, obviously,disembarkating it was very good
getting off again, wasn't it?
Yeah, getting on and gettingoff was a, you know, fair play
to royal caribbean and thequantum of the sea staff for
that, because they handled thatamazingly well.
(44:24):
Yeah, um, I would say, you know, in overall performance for the
whole ship, I would say about90, oh yeah yeah, I loved it
good I mean, there was only 10,I think in terms of like the
things that we experienced andalso the uh, the know.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Nothing, but then nothing that would prevent me
from going on another ship.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Absolutely nothing.
Look, I love cruising yeah.
And the staff members arefantastic on that ship Best
holiday you can possibly havebecause you don't have to drive
anywhere, like as long as youdon't go excessive.
And if you're a drinker, getthe drinks package.
I probably wouldn't even getthe refreshment package the next
time, based on the fact that Idon't think we actually tallied
up the quantity that we couldhave actually drunk.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Look, I was happy paying that for water.
I was happy paying it Becausewe've got the coffees and
everything else, but I don'tthink I literally don't think
that we drank.
If you worked out how much itcosts per coffee and stuff like
that it would probably becheaper.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Definitely For me.
I just don't think it actuallyworks Because you had for us.
We've got the beverage packageand we took the mocktails, the
coffee, the water and the sodadrink and I think personally,
what we consumed individuallyeach probably only came to about
.
I think it worked out by $55 aday, didn't?
Speaker 1 (45:34):
it.
We paid them.
No, it was like it was morethan that it paid and we were
consuming it was like it wasmore than that it was like 47 a
day or something like that, like55.
I just said whatever.
I thought you said five, no, 55a day.
Yeah, whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
We consume less, consume that and we were
drinking quite a bit.
Yeah, you know, in that regards, we're making use of it because
we could.
Yeah, um, but it was probablycheaper to buy individually in
that regards, but yeah, andpeople having the main drinks
package, they couldn't keep upeither.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Even alcoholics couldn't keep up with it because
it was just like too much ofwhat you're paying for.
Yeah, correct?
Speaker 2 (46:05):
So think outside the box, especially if you go on a
short cruise.
Don't do it, because you won'tget your money's worth.
You're not going to get yourmoney's worth, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
But look at the wrap up the cruise there.
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Now we're headed into beautiful no, we're going to do
this on a separate podcast, arewe?
Yeah, because this is too longwe're going to talk about
Brisbane, because we stayed inBrisbane.
Afterwards we got there.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Oh, we did too.
Oh yeah, because we did lots ofsauna stuff and everything
there.
We did lots of stuff inBrisbane.
Definitely.
And stuff, yeah, we did lots ofstuff in brisbane, definitely,
and that's a separate podcastfor us to do all right, so we're
going to leave the cruise there.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
So that's a thumbs up for cruising for sure.
And I would definitely say toeverybody if you've never done
one, look into it or go on one.
They're great value for money.
Yep, and the people you meetare the people that make the
holiday yeah, and they will beyour friends for life.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
They will definitely all right.
So that's the cruise done anddusted from your fully grown
homos.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
You've been listening to us on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom as well.
For the email.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
If you want to email us, they can let us know what
your cruising adventures havebeen.
Fully Grown Homos podcast andany of our socials, or
fullygrownhomospodcast atgmailcom.
That's a wrap from us.
We've been your Fully GrownHomos and we look forward to
opening your mind, your ears andyour curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
(47:29):
podcast with your curiousfriends.
You can contact us onfullygrownhomospodcast at
gmailcom or any of our socials.
Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our
adventures as fully grown homosnavigating today's world full
of inquisitive friends,questions about gay life and the
unexplored activities of a lifelived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics
we don't even know yet, as wewant your input into what you
want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom or messageany of our socials.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Fully Grown Homos.
With Dave and Matt On today'sepisode, we're going to finally
(01:02):
wrap up our holiday.
It feels like it's been monthsand months and months since
we've actually been back onholidays, isn't it, dave?
Speaker 2 (01:08):
yep, and we did try doing one the other day about it
.
Um, and then we were out in thesun doing it on the uh, my
phone overheated it did shoutitself.
So we didn't get anywhere withit we didn't get anywhere.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
We recorded.
But then we thought, ratherthan trying copy and paste and
do all that kind of stuff, we'llrecap the whole thing again.
So here we go again.
This is part three of ourholiday, also known as the sad
ending.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Well, it wasn't sad.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
No, it was sad to finish our holiday.
Definitely it was a happyending, always a happy ending,
with us, that's for sure.
That's for sure.
So where were we, Dave?
We?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
left off in Darwin.
Yeah, so the next day of theDarwin.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
As a recap, we can say we loved Darwin, yeah, and
we'll definitely go back therefor sure, definitely going back
there.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
So we're talking now the 26th of November.
We're looking at the last fivedays of the holiday here.
So we were cruising.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Yeah, we all had a cruise day this was quite an
entertaining day, this one wasthat, matt.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
This was quite an entertaining day couple of
cruising days, so we.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So we got up as per normal, had our brekkie, brushed
our teeth, did our shit, andthen went to another art auction
.
And we went to another artauction because we can, and we
did and we loved it.
Yeah, we had fun, yeah, andmike was the drawing attraction
attraction there, yeah of course, mike and t Troy, and
consequently we have tons of artsitting in my spare room
(02:26):
currently because we enjoy theart auctions and we enjoy art
and we enjoy shopping, which isalso part of the fun, I guess.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
And we weren't the only people to buy artwork.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Oh hell, no, there was lots of people.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And, by the sounds of it, lots of other people we
know that have been in cruiseshave also bought artwork.
Lots of people.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
So the sounds of it, lots of other people we know
that have been on cruises havealso bought artwork.
Lots of people.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
It's a very very lucrative thing on the ships.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
It's fun and it is a way to take memories home.
It is, I like to think.
A couple of friends of oursposted recently on Facebook
saying oh, you finally know thecruise is over once you get your
artwork delivered.
And I think your comment onthat was no.
And I think your comment onthat was no, because every time
you look at that artwork you canremember the cruise.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, and the memories that go with it.
And it's true, yeah, 100%.
And we said that to Troy whenhe bought the artwork.
He said remember.
It's not about buying theartwork itself, it's about
having the memories attached tothe artwork, Attached to the
artwork.
And people will comment on theartwork and it will bring you
back to happy moments.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
I finally put a piece of art up in my room, but that
wasn't off the cruise ship.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It wasn't off the cruise ship, but we'll talk
about that when we get to thelatter stages, yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Anyway, yeah, so All right so we did art auction, we
did a bit of laying around inthe solarium.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Now, the solarium itself is quite an entertaining
area, isn't it?
It's all adult, only Adult,only Not that there was very few
kids, which is really fantasticfor us children are horrible
and trying.
Trying.
Holly had their children, butthey were able to entertain
themselves and they were great.
They loved it, they had a cagefor them they didn't have cages,
it was called star treks orwhatever it was.
(03:55):
I know it's kids play area,whatever.
Yeah, it was great.
They loved it.
Um so um.
Yes, we went and lounged inthearium, which is basically the
front end of the ship, and it'sunder a complete glass dome as
such, so it's pretty cool, yeah,and it's more like a tropical
island sort of thing, isn't?
Speaker 1 (04:13):
it.
Yeah, it is.
It's also got palm trees, allthat kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
But it's well done, isn't it?
It's a room.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Stuff like that Again no toilets and Bugbear no
toilets.
And some hot guys no changerooms.
Hot guys, oh yeah, definitelyhot guys there, definitely hot
guys there, stuff like that.
And there was a couple of likeoh, remember that one time you
were there.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Dave and I fell asleep when I was tired.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
When you were tired, you were having a nap, right.
I was down in the pool andthere was those other gay couple
that were there Yep and Davewoke up to, basically because
when Dave wears his boardies,what do you wear under your
boardies?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Dave, nothing, of course.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Nothing Correct.
Correct Like you're supposed toeveryone.
All right.
No, if you're going to wearboardies, at least do the
decency of wearing no underwearunderneath.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
But what did you see the guys doing, dave?
Well, I kind of woke up, or Iwas semi asleep, so, yeah, being
the opposite semi, and um, yeah, I looked across and I had my
glasses on and my hat and Icould see them.
They were looking over at me,but one had his camera in his
hand as his like phone camera,yeah, and he was definitely
taking photographs of mepointing and I didn't realize
(05:22):
yeah, exactly because I didn'trealize I had my leg bent up and
then I realized that my wholenut sack and everything else was
like my balls were all exposed,so obviously them being gay
guys.
Obviously got a thrill from it,and yeah yeah, they were loving
it.
They were loving it, so Ididn't I didn't put my leg down
anytime soon no, no, no.
He said well, mate, you're gonnaphotograph it, I'm gonna give
(05:43):
you angles, then I just sort oflike turned my head and just
like closed my eyes and thought,okay, let them imagine what
they're imagining.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Let them have what they want Exactly.
Give the people what they need.
And what were you doing in thepool, mate?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I was.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Chatting up, all the lesbians Chatting up.
I love stories.
I love different stories fromdifferent walks of life and
things like that, and I waschatting to all different kinds
of people in the spa area.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
I could hear you every now and then.
I could hear you laughing.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
We'd all have chuckles and laugh.
I could hear them laughing withyou or at you, as everyone
that's ever had a conversationwith me right knows that I have
a story for everything.
So if you tell me that you wenthere and did this, I'm not
going to know my name'sspecifics, otherwise I'm going
to go on a tangent, but I willhave a story to back it up
undeniably.
So I was having lots of chatswith lots of people in different
(06:33):
pools and spas and stuff likethat.
It was lots of fun.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
The.
Speaker 1 (06:43):
Solarium was a great place to chat with, and didn't?
That's where the family andstuff was, wasn't it?
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Again, it was a great setup.
The whole ship was a greatsetup in terms of, like, the
facilities for families andpools.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
Well, the other pool, there was one guy up there that
was.
Basically he did follow thecommandments of no underwear
underneath his shorts and stufflike that, and he'd jump in the
water and he'd jump out and look, he wasn't massively in power,
but it hugs you, but it hugged,it hugged and I like a nice wet
(07:14):
pair of boardies stuck to a nicearound the whole VPL line and
the cock line and stuff likethat.
You can see everything and I'ma very visual man, as most men
are, but you don't point likethat.
Yeah, I don't actually standthere and point like Dave does.
But yeah, dave goes, look overthere and points straight at it
(07:36):
and goes look snacks.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Obvious, obvious, obvious.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
But yeah, it makes it super obvious.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
But yeah, anyway, so we're digressing again.
So that was that part of theday.
So that took us up to likeevening time, evening time,
afternoon evening, yeah.
So went back, had a shower, gotchanged as usual, um, went down
, had lunch.
No dinner, dinner, dinner, yeahdinner yep um in our restaurant
in the restaurant with thegirls and then we headed
(08:01):
upstairs to 270, which was theback end of the ship where the
one of the theater partingswhich is a very, very big area,
isn't it great?
and it was really nice, and wediscussed that on other other
podcasts, um, and basically,yeah, so we met up with our
friends that we'd met on thecruise ship.
Yeah, gary, um john yeah, mikeal um yeah, simon, and simon.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah, kim Al, all of them.
Yeah, simon and Was Simon?
Yeah, simon was there and Scottand Scott and Fi and Vince were
there.
No, I don't think they werethere for the couples game.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Were they not?
Oh no, they weren't, theyweren't sorry.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
And then, oh my God, karen, karen, that's her name.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Yes, I wonder where you're going.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
I'm trying to think of a name.
She's a super classy lady.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Well, they're all classy people.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Yeah, yeah, but she was like again, not unlike Fee.
I would sort of wait to seewhat Karen was wearing, because,
again, she's very glamorous.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
She's very glamorous.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah, like 24-7.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
So yeah, yeah, so we did a couples game.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
All right, dave.
So the couples game we're not acouple, as everyone knows.
However, karen, the lady fromBingo, this is Diffin Karen.
Yes, she's one of theentertainment crew.
Right, she actually come overbecause she couldn't get people
to join in this game.
Right, she needed three couplesto get up on the stage and she
(09:25):
couldn't get people.
Now, she'd known me for a whileby this stage at least a couple
of days and knows that if weget to ask or not, even ask.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Well, she knew we were gay as well.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
And I would jump up on this stage.
Yeah, we'd had plenty of chatswith her about the podcast and
stuff like that as well.
Well, she come over to ourgroup and she said you guys get
up, help me out and we go.
Well, we're not a couple.
She said it doesn't matter,just get up and have fun.
So there was a couple that.
So we ended up getting up andhelping her out.
So there were three couples,including ourselves.
(09:53):
Three couples includingourselves, two plus us.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Yeah, so three in total right.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So there was one couple that had been together
for 47 years yeah, 47 years,yeah, for a long time, but he
looked smoking hot.
He was smoking hot, like youknow, so, yeah, so he was quite
nice, um, nice beard and veryfit body and stuff like this.
Um, they had us, and then youhad a younger couple who'd been
engaged for seven years, so theywere in their late, late 20s,
(10:18):
I'd say yeah, and then we'dfound out later in their actual
cruise that they were bisexual,um, and they loved us as well.
Yeah, they loved us as well.
Yeah, they loved us as wellBecause, yeah, I think he was
not just bisexual but bisexualand fluid, happy to play with
men and women.
Yeah, that's what bisexual is.
God, I'm a fucking idiot, Iknow.
Just work that out, I'm a bitspecial at times, anyway.
(10:41):
So when they come to the introsand stuff like that, they
introduced us all.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
Yeah right, so they separated us.
So the women, including myself,then had to sit on the front on
chairs.
Oh, hang on hang on.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Let's go back when they come to the intros.
They introduced the firstcouple.
They said that they'd beentogether for 30 years.
They introduced the next couple.
They said they'd been engagedfor seven years.
And then they introduced us andkaren said well, you guys
aren't a couple.
I said no, no, we're justfriends.
And then then I said friendswith benefits and karen
basically stopped there and shewent to the audience and she
(11:13):
said all right, I've known theseguys for a few days now.
She said anyone that getseasily offended please leave now
.
Um, as a bit of precursor,because, again, I get a bit
loose at times with my mouth andeverything else uh, yes,
clothes come off.
Yeah, clothes come off.
Speaker 2 (11:32):
Definitely things like that happen now you're used
to being on the stage, it'sslightly different for me.
I mean, I, I'm a, I'm game foreverything, but I wouldn't go up
on my own, so going up with youwas fine, yeah.
Yeah, I knew I was safe and Iknew I wasn't going to be on my
own being up there.
Yes, correct, so I was happy todo it.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
But yeah, so then the games commenced.
So they split us up.
The boys were at the back,hence me.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
No, we should have been the other way around.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
And the girls were at the front, which was Dave, Now
the first thing they had us do.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Dave, I'll let you explain.
Yes, so basically, becausethat's what?
So each couple took a turn.
So it was the first couple,were the older couple what was
the actual?
yeah, I'm just going to explainso the first couple did that,
did it first, then we did it andthen the young couple.
So the premise of the firstgame was basically the female
sorry, the male member of theteam had to kneel on a chair
with their backside pointingupwards towards the female Yep,
(12:31):
and basically they had to spreadtheir legs apart.
And then Karen, the host, wouldthen place a toilet roll
between their thighs or theirbuttocks area, yep, and told
them to clench it hard, allright, in the meantime.
Meantime, the girls, includingmyself, were then blindfolded
individually, and then we had apool cue placed between our legs
and we had no idea where wewere going.
(12:52):
So what happened was the maleperson had a microphone, yeah,
and he had to basically guidethe female with their pool cue
into his butt cheeks, using thepool cue to insert it into the
hole of the toilet roll.
Yeah, correct.
So that was the premise of it.
So the first couple did it allfun.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Two minutes 27 seconds, two and a half minutes
yeah, something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
So they had fun.
The crowd were loving itcheering away.
It's a lot harder than it looks.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Well, what's it?
Speaker 2 (13:20):
though I don't think it was, it could be for most
people because, as we found out,we were professionals, we were
experts.
So my turn came.
So Matt got on the chair,basically Bent over on this
chair, and then Karen went toplace the toilet roll between
his legs and he turned aroundand said to her he goes, I don't
think I need that.
I said I don't need that.
We've done this before Manytimes.
I wish she laughed.
She laughed, and then theaudience in stitches at this
(13:46):
stage, and then they blindfoldedme and then I got my poor cue
and then matt just said comeforward, come forward, come
forward.
So I just ran as fast as Icould, and within 12 seconds it
was inserted into the hole andthen karen goes wow, that was
fast.
And what did you say?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
and I turn around and said he's not usually finished
that quick.
Um, so again we got.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
We got a few laughs, um, no needless to say, for that
one and then it was the turn ofthe younger couple, and again
they have fun.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
They did a good job and they did about one minute 25
, not as quick as us, but soyeah, so we were the victors of
that first round, which is fun,so it was.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
The second round.
Was what matt?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
we.
So dave, had to stand in frontfacing the audience and he had a
balloon pump.
No, we had the balls.
Oh, the balls.
Sorry, yes, sorry, the balls.
So we had these balls and wehad to place them.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
They were like a squishy, stress ball right.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
So it wasn't a big ball right, it was just like a
tennis ball-sized ball right andwe had to place them on our
chest.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
And roll them up to our neckline.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
No, we had to place them on our belly sorry.
And then roll them up to ourneckline without using your
hands at all, and then put themin between your necks, basically
, and stuff like that, and thenmove them.
So we started doing this and wewere the first couple to do
this with me.
Yeah, for the life of me, wejust couldn't get it.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
So what I did is I threw dave on the floor,
literally all right.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
And then I placed, place the ball on my stomach and
then I roll.
I laid on top of him, rolled itup there with a groin in my
neckline my crotch ended upright in his face again, not an
unfit.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
And then you twisted around and then got it into my
neck and then basically, we thenhad to try and stand up, and of
course, do you think we couldfucking try and stand up?
The audience were fucking, wewere laughing at this stage as
well.
The audience were killingthemselves, laughing they were
killing themselves laughing.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
Every time we'd go to get up, the ball would drop out
, so we'd have to start again.
We eventually got up with thisin some house situation.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
Needless to say, we definitely did not win that
round at all the older coupletook a while as well, but they
did it eventually.
They had the same problem keptthem bouncing out from there as
well, kept bouncing out and allthat kind of stuff.
And then the younger couplewell, they were just like they
smashed it.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
They smashed that one .
That was really.
They did that one really inrecord time.
It was quite fun.
But I did that one really inrecord time, it was quite fun,
but yeah.
And then part three was theballoon, was the balloon.
So Dave had to actually standthere with a balloon pump like a
manual balloon pump in betweenhis legs.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Which was not easy at all, because you're trying to
hold something that is likegoing to be, yeah, plastic
between your knees, yeah, andsomeone is then in front of you,
as Matt would have been.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Well, I then had to place a balloon on the tip and,
one-handed, I had to basicallypump the balloon up until it
burst, almost like it waswanking me off.
Speaker 2 (16:31):
It looked like.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I was jerking him off fundamentally and again not a
position I'm unfamiliar withright.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
And we thought we'd smash it in because we were the
second team to go on that one,the young couple went first and
they did three.
They did three balloons andthey we thought, oh, I thought
I'm gonna get this easy rightholy fuck, my wrist was so my
knees were killing me.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Those knees were killing you.
Yeah, I was there on my and I'msitting there going.
This is actually like I'd blownthem up and so, just when they
got to the part where they wereabout to burst, they'd fly off
the end of the balloon thing andgo away.
Um so I think we might get twoI think we got two um, so again
we lost there, and then theolder couple did it right?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
yeah, they did well, they got one one.
No, they did two as well.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
So yeah, yeah so it was um, it was a challenge,
needless to say that one andthen the last one was where you
had I had to sit.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Well, the girls had to sit on the chair, and then
they had to have a stripper, iethe guys.
A lap dance.
The guys had to give him a lapdance.
Well, the old guy did it firstand he was very very he was good
A bit reserved.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, a bit reserved.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
Yeah, he was definitely.
He was trying his best and itwas just hard because his wife
wasn't really sort of like asengaged, she wasn't into it as
such.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I think if he had another guy, on there.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
It was an awkward moment for them, wasn't it?
Speaker 1 (17:44):
They weren't natural at doing that, it was like oh
fuck, we haven't fucked for like10 years, 20 years, 30 years,
but sure I'll give you a lapdance.
It was quite fun.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
It was very basic and monotone, wasn't it, but it was
fun, it was fun stillnonetheless.
Then it was a couple, the youngcouple.
Then they had fun, didn't they?
Speaker 1 (18:13):
He did really, really well.
And then there was us, andagain, of course, my shirt came
off um I was grinding all overday.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
It's lovely.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
I just think now I don't, I can't even remember I'd
, yeah, have to watch for theplayback, and I hope there's
none I know there is some outthere somewhere but yeah, it was
naughty and fun and we did allright on that one as well, but
we didn't end up winning overall.
But we all got the same prize.
We all won.
We basically all got a squishyball and a hat each, which is
(18:45):
okay.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
It was fun, but entertaining I mean we had a, a
squishy ball and a hat each,which is okay.
It was fun, but entertaining Imean we had a lot of people come
up after us and said, oh God,you guys were so fun yeah we had
heaps of fun, we enjoyed it alot, and then we went back to
the gay bar, obviously, becausethat's what we did every night.
That's what we did every night.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
And that was pretty much that day which was fun with
friends and chatted until thewee hours of the morning again,
no doubt finished off our nightwith pizza, because that's what
we did when we were on holidays.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So we had another cruising day the next day.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
Yep another cruising day.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
We're moving forward now at pace, if we can, yep.
So this was Wednesday, the 27thof November, and it was just an
average sea day, really, wasn'tit?
Yeah?
There was nothing really majorplanned on that day was there in
day, really, wasn't it?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
you know, there was nothing really major planned on
that day, was it in terms ofentertainment?
Speaker 2 (19:28):
we probably went and did art seminars.
Well, we did the art seminars.
We had a picasso seminar thatday, because I wrote it down,
because it was very entertaining.
Mike again, the um, theauctioneer.
He was spectacular, um, good onthe eye but very, very good on
his knowledge of artwork.
But he was just he's.
He has adhd, which he admitsand admits and he flourishes
with it because it suits hispersonality and his type of work
(19:50):
.
Basically, he can entertainpeople for hours and you
wouldn't get bored.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Well, he's very detailed and he knows his shit.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
But he engages so quickly, but he's so
quick-witted as well.
He's so quick-witted, yeah,he's clever, yeah, so him and
his staff, which are also verygood as well.
There was Sean Patrick andwhat's his name, the other guy,
the guy that was helping.
We did know him.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
Yeah, I can't remember.
He'll come back to us anyway,He'll come back eventually.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Yeah, so they were great guys.
They all knew their work aswell.
But Mike, you know top manSuper star.
Yeah, great, but I wasimpressed because I hadn't
really known much about picassoin detail.
Speaker 1 (20:31):
Yeah, and even though it was only like an hour
seminar, but the detail and hispronunciation of the names and
everything was absolutely spoton.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
He was.
He was a phenomenal one and hedid roll them off correct and
he's south african, so he's gota slight accent anyway, but yeah
yeah, yeah, and we love that.
That was awesome, um, but mike,you know you're great and I hope
you do listen to our podcastand we loved that.
That was awesome.
It's hot, yeah, um, but, mike,you know you're great and I hope
you do listen to our podcastsand we we look forward to
catching up with you guys againon another cruise ship at some
point.
Yeah, sure, and if you aren't,if you have never bought
(20:57):
anything from park west and youare luckily to have mike as your
auctioneer, then definitelyengage with him because he is
spectacular.
Yeah, he's great, he's awesome.
Okay, so that was that morning,and then we went to bingo in
the afternoon.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
Yeah, we did bingo because we did.
No, it was fun.
That's all right.
It was fun, had a good chat,yeah yeah, and her stuff yep
yeah, and then we then goodreason to go to bingo.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
yeah, um, but Got his nipples pierced Without
digressing, because we're tryingto summarise this Summarise,
this right.
So we then caught up withfriends again after dinner, as
normal in the gay bar?
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, in the gay bar.
Speaker 2 (21:35):
And then we then went to the main theatre to watch.
Speaker 1 (21:38):
For those that haven't heard previous episodes
it's not an actual gay bar 10 to11 every night.
Yeah Well, we made it a gay barfrom 10 to 11 every night.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Well, it was just easier to tell people which bar
we were going to yeah, we justsaid the gay bar.
Everyone knew it was a gay bar,so yeah, yeah, so we then went
to the main theatre to watch theDiamonds and Feathers show.
Again, it was nice, it wasmainstream, wasn't it?
It was fun.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Was it one of the best shows I've ever seen on a
ship?
No, was it one of the worst?
No, look, my standard's prettyhigh now, but again it was
difficult.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I mean, I found on this particular ship, matt, the
main theatre was quite small.
Yeah, it was Compared to thesize of the ship.
Going on a smaller ship andhaving a big theatre was
definitely different, yeah, andI felt that being up in the
higher end, you didn't reallyget to see the vantage points
very well, especially on theedges of it.
You didn't get that sort ofnatural sort of thing, whereas
(22:33):
on the smaller ships you seem toget a good vantage point
wherever you're sat in theauditorium.
Shall I say.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Yeah, look, it was entertaining, it was fun, it was
what it was supposed to be fora cruise ship, and we did see a
few good shows.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
We saw that one with the harp, which I can't remember
.
That was really good.
Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah, he was really good.
He was very, very good.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
The harpist was phenomenal and obviously we saw
the magician and we saw a fewother ones.
I don't know if we've mentionedthem in previous ones because I
can't remember what we talkedabout.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
But we did pretty much all the shows pretty much.
So, yeah, the only show that Ididn't rate, which was led,
which was the top of the bill,wasn't it?
It was supposed to be thistop-billing show.
It's called Starwater Starwaterand it's not on anymore because
they had issues with thestaging and all that kind of
stuff.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah, it took pretty much three-quarters of the
actual holiday.
Sorry, that was my watch goingoff.
I thought my watch going offthat's all right, that's okay.
That's okay, let's go past it,it's all right.
So.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
Starwater was.
I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it,but I thought it had zero
storyline.
Yeah, but again it was a cruiseship.
My expectation again, becauseI've done theatre, I've done all
that.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
The singers were fantastic.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
They sang brilliantly .
They danced phenomenally great.
Yeah, they sang fantastic.
They danced amazing.
Um look, there's no denyingthat they're very good at their
craft.
Yeah, I just didn't think thestoryline.
I couldn't make out what thestoryline was.
It was a bit disjointed but itwas weird.
But it was okay, it was stillfun and it was like and I had a
(24:01):
couple of naps, but that's okay,that's what I do anyway.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
So that was pretty much that night days so our next
port day was cans.
Speaker 1 (24:12):
I was looking forward to cans because, um, I like
sunshine, I like water, I likeall that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
So this is literally three days before we were due to
finish or four days, yeah, afew days in um so cans the the
first bit was yeah, it was anightmare, and tender was a
nightmare to get off, and thiswas common throughout the ship.
Everybody complained about the….
Speaker 1 (24:34):
We got on one of the fast ferries on the way over,
which was actually reallybeneficial.
That was about 11 o'clock.
We got off.
Yeah, we got off at 11 o'clockor something, because it did
take a while to get off the boat, off the ship, but then the bus
ride into town was like 40minutes or something like that I
think, and it took forever toget to somewhere that was not
(24:57):
even open.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
And you're talking.
Cairns is quite a big area.
It was a Thursday.
It wasn't like it was a Sundayor something like that, so lots
of backpackers go there, a lotof tourists go there, because
Cairns itself is a verybeautiful area.
It's on the sort of likenorthern side of the east coast
of Queensland.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
So I had potential.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
There were three cruise ships in that day as well
, so you're talking 10,000people, 10,000 people Plus maybe
more, but there was lucky to behalf a dozen shops open in the
whole thing.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Half a dozen shops are open in the whole thing, and
again, we weren't there at 7o'clock in the morning.
This was like about lunchtime 1o'clock by the time we got in
there, and stuff like that.
So it was just like it was justmissed opportunities.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Limited stores open, limited anything, and they
dropped us off by the coast.
We had quite a bit of a walk toget into the town.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Yeah, that's easy, I don't mind.
Yeah, but what I'm?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
saying where they dropped us off.
There was no natural sort oflike direction.
It was quite a distance frommost people, so people were
looking which direction we go.
They gave us a map each tofollow, which is fine, yeah.
But it sort of took you aroundthe coastline and thenmade pool,
which is really good, yeah,which is beautiful.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, that was fun Because you can't swim in a lot
of the oceans there and stufflike that.
A bit of perving there, yeah, alittle bit.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
We had Bert and Ernie with us that day, didn't we?
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Yeah, we did, so they came out with us, they came out
with us, took lots of videoswith them, find one gym and we
did bump into a few of our crewmembers.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, we bumped into a few through gary and um yep
john and john and kim and that,and then we then fee and vince
quarters on camera, didn't theycarry?
Speaker 1 (26:34):
yeah, we walked past them in the pub but they
messaged us and sent us, sent aphoto of us, like, but we talked
, remember, we talked to thatperson.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
On the way back we talked to that person.
I know we digress a little bit,but that couple we thought were
on a cruise ship and theyweren't, but they were having
such an engaging conversation.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
People just started talking.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
And because we had Bert and Ernie with us again, it
was like a magnet.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
A conversation starter?
Yeah, for sure.
So people were lovely.
It's just that I don't thinkthe town itself took advantage
of the fact that there was10,000 people.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
But there was one shop that we did find, which is
really good.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
It was awesome and we did take a card, but I don't
know where I put any of thosecards from.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
They'll be here, somewhere they will be, so
there'll be somewhere we'll putthem up on our podcast when we
come to a summary listing, we'llput down the places you and you
know and, yeah, places to goand check out yeah, but this
shop had a lot of the cu in thent, which is a unofficial
tourism campaign becauseNorthern Territory wouldn't do
it.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
but I tell you what it's done more for Northern
Territory tourism than any oftheir official campaigns.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Yeah, they had this pink CUNNT hat in their window,
which I saw and I said, matt,you've got to have this.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
So, dave, seen it and went Matt, you've got to have
this.
And I went, oh, and so Istopped there and pulled it off
the top of the mannequin thing,put it on my head and it didn't
fit properly, unfortunately,Right.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Well, it did fit, but you've got funny ears.
You've got funny ears, so thesesort of hats don't fit over
your ears.
Certain trucker caps don't fitme and certain ones fit me
perfectly, but yes, I do have,so the owner was sitting out the
front, so she was sitting outthe front having a ciggy with a
friend talking, a friend havinga year a yarn right and she's
got.
Speaker 1 (28:11):
If you need anything, let me know yeah, yeah, we'll
catch up, oh cool, we're justhaving a look around, so she's
got, she said.
And she said she said, look,different ones are different
fits, she said, so just try acouple of different ones on
there.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Well, that's when you , just when you came back in and
we were trying them on, thenyou asked it.
That's when that happened.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, and so then she , um she basically said look,
there's start telling us aboutthis shop and how the different,
different artists basically herlanguage was very different.
Her language was fuckingphenomenal.
So this woman dropped cunt andfuck like they were salt and
pepper on chips.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
But they weren't offensive, they weren't
derogatory.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
The way she spoke.
It was part of her vocabularyand it worked fantastically, it
worked.
Like we were at the countertalking with her at one stage.
And we were talking with her atone stage and she turned around
and she just looked on theground.
Chanel's picked up Dave's hatand brought it in for him.
That's from downstairs, no,that's from the bedroom.
(29:13):
So this woman's dropped cuntand fuck into her vocabulary so
well that we were standing atthe counter talking and some
other woman's walking and she'sgoing oh, I'm just serving these
cunts and I'll be right withyou, love.
And I was just like okay, she'squite classy.
The woman that walked in wasshe was somebody you would look
(29:35):
at and visualize as a classylady.
Um, that didn't say those words, um, but she was like okay, and
it's just like, because the waythis woman said it so
nonchalantly, it was just youknow.
So nobody could be offended bywhat she said or how she said it
at all, and it was just fun, soit was fun.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
But the shop itself.
But she was also back in.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
That's what I was just about to say.
The shop itself.
A lot of the stuff that she hadin there, or I'd say most of it
, was all australian made.
Right, it was all local artists, right?
Um, there's people's shirts.
I bought a stubby holder for mysister in there, um, because it
had lezzo on it, um, or it hadlego, but it was made to look
(30:19):
like lezzo.
Um, but it was all these localartists that have been produced
locally, whether it be in Sydneyor in Australia somewhere, and
she bought it, basically, intoher store and she sold it.
Now, her stubby holders andthat weren't cheap, right?
However, they were made locallyand the money went back to the
(30:42):
local artists and stuff and thequality was fantastic.
We found a book in there that Ibought for my great-niece and it
was cool.
It had these little interactiveQR codes.
I think it was called Alice orsomething like that.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 1 (30:56):
It was a turtle, it was about a turtle, and all the
money raised from this bookbasically went to the turtle
rescue foundations and stufflike that.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
So the book was actually narrated by a guy that
was from Denmark or that sort ofpart of the IP room.
And he moved over here with hisfamily.
He fell in love with theturtles and then sold everything
up to come over here and set upa hospital.
A non-profit, basically Ahospital sort of thing for
wildlife and turtles inparticular, and he then set
about writing the book aboutthis particular turtle, about
(31:26):
his daughter sorry, herinteraction with the turtles,
yeah, and everything that was inthe book.
All the illustrations, wereactually taken from real-life
stories.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Real-life photos and stories.
Yeah, so if you read a pagethat had a QR code on it, you
could scan that QR code and itwould take you to the actual
photo or video or video thatthat story was about.
So there was one that wewatched where the baby was
giving mother was birthing allthese turtle eggs and things
like that.
Um, it was, it was brilliantand it was really good and
(31:56):
there's a follow-up book whichwe didn't buy.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, uh, but you can , I mean we'll try and find the
name of the book and we'll putit on our post so you can
actually have a look.
It's well worth the money, it'svery engaging and it's just
really clever.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah and it was.
Speaker 2 (32:08):
It was awesome, fun, it was awesome fun, so um so
yeah, so that was pretty muchthat was pretty much.
Cairns now?
Would I rate it?
No, I've been to Cairns beforeand did I rate it then?
Not really.
I mean, I think if you're goingto stay there for a few days
and go up and look at theWhitsundays, and not we're out
to go on the Barrier Reef and goto the Daintree area, you'd
(32:29):
have a lot more fun becausethere's a lot to do there.
Yeah, but for a day excursion,not a lot.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
I just would have liked to have seen all the shops
open.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Yeah, I think it would have been a different vibe
.
We did call into one of the artgalleries, didn't we, yeah, we
did, we talked to a local and hewas an ex-nurse, which is good.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
He was very creative wasn't he?
Speaker 2 (32:46):
and stuff like that.
Yeah, very cool, but again interms of what we saw.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
It wasn't a ride-off, it wasn't a lombok but, it
wasn't amazing by any means.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
So then our next stop was and we didn't do much of
that, I think we got back on theship and there wasn't again, I
mean, a lot to do that nightwhen we saw the harp show.
I can't remember.
Um, yeah, we just a basicevening again on the ship, so
we're not going to digress toomuch.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
But the very next day we went to early beach.
Now that was lovely.
On on the flip side it wasagain.
It was the tenders.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
No, yep, was it 10?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
yes, it was, but it happened very quickly but it was
quick and the bus ride in was15 minutes, yep, and the drop
was basically smack bang in themiddle of the center and that
was lovely.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Airlie Beach is part of the Whitsunday Islands.
Okay, so beautiful, absolutelybeautiful.
Again, if you're going to go onholiday there, you need to
spend about five days there soyou can go and snorkel on the
Barrier Reef.
Yeah, but it's a relaxingholiday.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
It is a very chilled holiday.
It's not a go-getter do A lotof backpackers that go there to
work.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
Yeah, so the hospitality is phenomenal over
there Young people working harddoing their job, which is great.
But you feel like you're on atropical island paradise, sort
of like these mangrove mount.
It was like mangrove, um, likeareas of the actual beach.
Yeah, yeah which was slightlydifferent, but again, but the
views were spectacular, viewsare beautiful um.
They did the moat, they put alocal market on for us, which,
(34:08):
again, which was very, very coolpineapple shirts yeah, and we
got his web page.
We got that yeah, that waspretty good.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
Again, he was a local guy as he turned out to be a
gay guy because he contactedMatt straight away on Grindr.
He picked me up on Grindr yep,which is pretty cool, so that
was fun.
Airlie Beach, again lovely.
As opposed to Cairns.
They knew that they weregetting ships in, so they took
all our money, which was great.
They opened shops, they openedbars, the pub there was really
cool.
You hub, there was really cool.
(34:36):
You look straight out across tothe water.
It was lovely, lovely, lovely,lovely, lovely.
We'd definitely go back toellie beach then.
We the night was fun, was that?
Speaker 2 (34:46):
the quest the quest.
Okay, so that was the night wedid so we got back on board
around about the downside to ohsorry, going back to cairns, and
then we just gone back on.
Cairns on the way back was anightmare for people.
Getting back, yeah, whatever,we thought the tender was about
going back, but tenders comingback was even worse.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
So that was a bitch fest on the on the cruise ship
that day obviously yeah, andpeople didn't get off at Airlie
Beach because they'd had such ashit time on the tenders, but
they missed out on on um, onCairns but they did, they should
they shit, they got, they gottheir shit sorted.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
They did, they didn't they, they did, and it was all
good.
Speaker 1 (35:18):
So yeah, but so we got back on board and we went
and did dinner and all that kindof stuff.
But then they had this thingcalled the Quest.
Now, because we were part ofthe Facebook group, we'd seen
that David's saying thatsometimes even nudity happens in
this thing.
So obviously we were going tobe part of that.
So we got the whole crewtogether for the Quest.
Obviously we were going to bepart of that.
So we got the whole crewtogether for the quest.
(35:39):
So we're talking, all thefriends we had, all the friends
we'd made on board, so there,was probably about 15 of us all
together wasn't there?
Yeah, probably it was a big crew.
Speaker 2 (35:47):
But Gary and not Gary , I think.
Gary and John and Kim had donethis before, and John and John
had done this before, so theyknew what to expect, but they
didn't, if that makes sense,because every quest is different
.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
They're slightly different, but Kim had gone back
to the room and bought a sparebra and a few things in her
little handbag.
That she remembered from thelast time that she remembered
from the last time, so that camein very beneficial.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
So basically, the host this time was the main
director for Thiago no thefemale, the lady with glasses,
the one that did the oh yeah,katie, katie.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
Yeah, and she was good at hosting it.
She was very good, she was okayat hosting it.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
I thought she was she was entertaining.
Yeah, I didn't rate her becauseI didn't think she was very
skilled in anything else the waythe Quest game show happened is
everybody in the audience waspart of the actual show.
Yes, so one time.
Speaker 1 (36:43):
They asked three captains, two team captains, a
male and a female, for eachlittle section.
So they broke the section upinto four sections.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
The auditorium up into four sections Because it
was a curved section, halfsemicircle, yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
So they broke it up into four sections.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
So again, naturally I got volunteered and we had the
worst area because it was thehardest to get.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
It was the hardest to get to, but that's all right.
Um, we had um, I volunteered,slash got volunteered to be
their captain which, again, I'mnot in it, I don't have an issue
with and I had a lady that wassitting behind us.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
She volunteered to be yeah, so there's other members
of the audience in our team thatweren't part of our group.
There was other people there,so it wasn't just us, it wasn't
just us, so it's probably about40 people in each section one.
They maybe made more than that,more, maybe more.
Yeah, it's pretty packed thequest, right yeah?
Speaker 1 (37:25):
but then you got given different tasks to do.
Now we're going to go not goingto go one by one through each
task, because that'll take usall freaking day, and we were
currently up to about 36 minutes.
So, um, we want to kind of wrapthis up in some kind of time
frame so we can get back to ournormal reviews of saunas and
stuff like that.
Anyway, your digressions arestopped.
Yeah, oh, come on.
So what we did in this quest,so they'd ask for things like
(37:48):
they'd say all right, we wantthree bras all strung together,
right?
So you'd have to run up to theaudience right or to your
section of the audience and getthese three bras, bring them
back and present them to katie,the um cruise director there was
one member of our team, coffee,who is absolutely beautiful in
every way sensational lady andshe she ripped that bra off.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
You know what?
She came out of her comfortzone and she told us.
I said you boys were now wouldnever done.
I would never have done any ofthis and I felt a little bit
guilty because I didn't want tocoerce her into doing things
that she would do.
But do you know what?
She went along and she did itand she had fun.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
She had a hoot with it, so she stepped right out of
her comfort zone.
She was definitely my MVPbecause she gave up so much
stuff.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
She gave up earrings, but she had no bra on, remember
at that point.
Yeah, so she'd already takenher bra off and she realised,
and she was the only femalewilling to give up her dress
after nobody would volunteer,one of the ones we had to do.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
We had to change.
Men had to change into women'sclothes and women had to change
into men's clothes on the stage,basically.
So I've got my shirt and tryingto stick it over her head while
she's pulled her dress down.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
And you managed to do it without exposing anything.
She was like, yeah, we did.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
Yeah, we kept it modest-ish.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
As you could do for that sort of show.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
But it was fun we had to.
Then we went through differentthings.
Like I said, there was a bra,there was a man and a woman in
one pair of pants.
Speaker 2 (39:10):
I took my trousers off.
For you to have two trousers on, didn't you?
Yep?
Speaker 1 (39:21):
And then I went up on the stage with you to do.
They wanted the tallest guy inyour crew and the shortest guy.
So I wasn't the shortest, youwasn't the shortest, but dave
thought outside the square andwent up.
There there was, it's got thetallest guy.
And dave went up there and wenton his knees again not an
unfamiliar position for dave, um.
But everyone was pissed offlaughing and she said I'll take
that because you don't knowwhat's coming right.
So then they had to turn thetents.
Well, this guy was tall and hewas gyrating his balls,
(39:46):
basically.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
Right in my face.
I had no choice because theywere there.
And then he bent over and hewas slapping my ass and
everything.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
It was funny as fuck.
I loved it and he didn't evenrealize what he was doing until
he'd seen it back on the videothat his wife had recorded.
And I went oh yeah, you like itthough, didn't you, buddy?
And he's got no, no, no, I'mstraight.
I'm like yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll never end straight until acouple of beers, but it was fun
.
But it was fun.
And then they called for thefinal round, like we did a
(40:15):
couple of bonus rounds where wehad dance-offs and stuff like
that, which was fun.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
You mentioned you've got about Gary's teeth as well.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
Oh yeah, they asked for false teeth, right?
So one of our friends, notmentioning any names, pulled his
teeth out.
So I've got up and I've grabbedhim in my hand and she's gone.
Oh, like, I've gone running upto Katie with him and she's gone
.
You don't know where they'vebeen.
I said you don't know where myhand's been.
(40:41):
So we got that point and at theend they wanted us to get a man
and they wanted him to dresshim up in the prettiest way
possible.
So we got Vince, one of ourawesome friends, for his husband
and we prettied up his beard.
(41:01):
We put little butterfly clipsin it, we put lipstick on.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
We gave him.
He's got like a.
He's got like a true zz toplike, yeah, he's got the most,
but he is so fun with it, yeah,yeah he's great, yeah, he's.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
He's an amazing human as well.
Yeah, um, and how's all?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
the friends.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, yeah, obviously , but um, we're not friends with
assholes no, not at all no notever um and um.
so we dressed him up.
We basically hiked up hisshorts, we tied up his top into
a little tube top, sort of thelittle knot, like you did in the
80s, and stuff.
Um, he put a pair of like heelson and then he had a handbag
(41:37):
with another hair heels theywere like the flats he was
wearing and then the heels hewas wearing home from the club.
But then they actually askedthem what your name is, what
your female name is and whatyour profession was.
So we gave him the name I'mjust trying to think it was
Vagine Spreadalot.
(41:58):
Yes, we gave him VagineSpreadalot, which was like a
vagina spread-a-lot, and thatwas quite a hit.
And then he wanted hisprofession to be stripper or
something like that.
I said the milk.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
I said the what was it like?
I can't remember.
I think it was a butter flapper, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (42:16):
I don't know what it was, but he ended up saying he
was an exotic dancer orsomething.
I can't remember.
But yeah, it was a lot of fun.
We didn't win the quest becausethe guy that got picked for the
other one he really camped itup and he got them to win,
that's for sure.
But it was a hell of a fun, funnight and everyone that didn't
(42:40):
know us prior to that definitelyknew us after that.
Speaker 2 (42:43):
But it was just fun that everybody took part
regardless and we were watchingthe other team members doing it
and we were watching them aswell, having fun as well, and
there was lots of conversationafterwards.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
There was no nudity.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Well, there was almost nudity.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
Well, there was a few women that showed their nipples
because she wanted piercings,Piercings yeah, correct, correct
, and then yeah, yes, so, yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
So that was a fun night at the quest and that was
pretty much the last.
Yeah, we just had a cruisingday after that.
Yeah, and again not much elsehappened because we were packing
.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Well, yeah, cruising day was, we had that, we were
playing bingo on that day.
And then we had the helicopter,as I remember, because there
was a….
Speaker 1 (43:21):
Yeah, somebody got winched because there was a
medical episode On that night.
Speaker 2 (43:24):
yeah, we remember down at the pizza place and we
heard they go off about twoo'clock.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
no one o'clock in the morning wasn't it One o'clock
in the morning, emergencyemergency, emergency evacuation.
So it was code blue, basically,yeah, so somebody that actually
had a major incident.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah and then they end up getting heli-vac'd off
the next day because I think thecrew doctor decided to keep
observating.
Then he got worse over time andthen they, they did so they
called it.
The captain put his foot downon the actual uh, the steam on
the on the ship to get homeearlier and then he let her off,
yeah once, once they realizedthat you know he was stable,
yeah, well they got him off theship on the helicopter, then he
(44:04):
he pulled back on the throttle,so we weren't really going at
all very fast.
Yeah, we sort of made up thattime.
We'd actually caught up withthat intense and that was pretty
much the cruise.
And then, obviously,disembarkating it was very good
getting off again, wasn't it?
Yeah, getting on and gettingoff was a, you know, fair play
to royal caribbean and thequantum of the sea staff for
that, because they handled thatamazingly well.
(44:24):
Yeah, um, I would say, you know, in overall performance for the
whole ship, I would say about90, oh yeah yeah, I loved it
good I mean, there was only 10,I think in terms of like the
things that we experienced andalso the uh, the know.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
Nothing, but then nothing that would prevent me
from going on another ship.
Speaker 2 (44:42):
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (44:43):
Absolutely nothing.
Look, I love cruising yeah.
And the staff members arefantastic on that ship Best
holiday you can possibly havebecause you don't have to drive
anywhere, like as long as youdon't go excessive.
And if you're a drinker, getthe drinks package.
I probably wouldn't even getthe refreshment package the next
time, based on the fact that Idon't think we actually tallied
up the quantity that we couldhave actually drunk.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Look, I was happy paying that for water.
I was happy paying it Becausewe've got the coffees and
everything else, but I don'tthink I literally don't think
that we drank.
If you worked out how much itcosts per coffee and stuff like
that it would probably becheaper.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Definitely For me.
I just don't think it actuallyworks Because you had for us.
We've got the beverage packageand we took the mocktails, the
coffee, the water and the sodadrink and I think personally,
what we consumed individuallyeach probably only came to about
.
I think it worked out by $55 aday, didn't?
Speaker 1 (45:34):
it.
We paid them.
No, it was like it was morethan that it paid and we were
consuming it was like it wasmore than that it was like 47 a
day or something like that, like55.
I just said whatever.
I thought you said five, no, 55a day.
Yeah, whatever it was.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
We consume less, consume that and we were
drinking quite a bit.
Yeah, you know, in that regards, we're making use of it because
we could.
Yeah, um, but it was probablycheaper to buy individually in
that regards, but yeah, andpeople having the main drinks
package, they couldn't keep upeither.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Even alcoholics couldn't keep up with it because
it was just like too much ofwhat you're paying for.
Yeah, correct?
Speaker 2 (46:05):
So think outside the box, especially if you go on a
short cruise.
Don't do it, because you won'tget your money's worth.
You're not going to get yourmoney's worth, that's for sure.
Speaker 1 (46:16):
But look at the wrap up the cruise there.
It was fun.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Now we're headed into beautiful no, we're going to do
this on a separate podcast, arewe?
Yeah, because this is too longwe're going to talk about
Brisbane, because we stayed inBrisbane.
Afterwards we got there.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Oh, we did too.
Oh yeah, because we did lots ofsauna stuff and everything
there.
We did lots of stuff inBrisbane.
Definitely.
And stuff, yeah, we did lots ofstuff in brisbane, definitely,
and that's a separate podcastfor us to do all right, so we're
going to leave the cruise there.
Speaker 2 (46:43):
So that's a thumbs up for cruising for sure.
And I would definitely say toeverybody if you've never done
one, look into it or go on one.
They're great value for money.
Yep, and the people you meetare the people that make the
holiday yeah, and they will beyour friends for life.
Speaker 1 (46:55):
They will definitely all right.
So that's the cruise done anddusted from your fully grown
homos.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
You've been listening to us on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom as well.
For the email.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
If you want to email us, they can let us know what
your cruising adventures havebeen.
Fully Grown Homos podcast andany of our socials, or
fullygrownhomospodcast atgmailcom.
That's a wrap from us.
We've been your Fully GrownHomos and we look forward to
opening your mind, your ears andyour curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
(47:29):
podcast with your curiousfriends.
You can contact us onfullygrownhomospodcast at
gmailcom or any of our socials.
Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
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