June 15, 2025 • 54 mins
What masks do you wear without even realising it? This episode takes inspiration from Rob Goddard's book "Behind the Smile" as we explore the facades we've created throughout our lives to navigate the world as gay men.
Dave opens up about his "mask of control" – a safety mechanism developed from growing up in rough neighborhoods that now manifests as a need to maintain control in various situations. This protective strategy serves him well but becomes problematic when circumstances fall outside his influence. Meanwhile, I share my "mask of suppression" formed during years in the military when being gay was illegal, and how that suppression became so ingrained that traces remain even in today's more accepting environment.
We both acknowledge the contradictions in our personalities – claiming we don't care what others think while simultaneously seeking validation and approval, particularly in professional settings. The conversation takes a vulnerable turn when discussing the "mask of shame" that comes from past relationships and decisions, including my feelings about my previous marriage before fully accepting my sexuality.
The episode isn't all serious introspection though! We introduce a hilarious new segment on pet peeves that has us ranting about everything from people who don't wear deodorant on public transport to drivers who fail to acknowledge when you let them merge in traffic. Dave's passionate hatred for noisy car exhausts reveals his "cranky old man" persona in full force.
Whether you're examining your own masked behaviors or just looking for some authentic conversation with plenty of laughs, this episode offers both profound insights and entertaining banter. Share your own masks or pet peeves with us at fullygrownhomospodcast@gmail.com or through our socials – we'd love to hear what makes you tick (or what gives you the ick)!
If you want to send us a question or would like our thoughts on a particular topic you can contact us at Fullygrownhomospodcast@gmail.com or contact us on any of our socials at Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our
adventures as fully grown homosnavigating today's world full
of inquisitive friends,questions about gay life and the
unexplored activities of a lifelived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics
we don't even know yet, as wewant your input into what you
want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom or messageany of our socials.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Fully Grown Homos with Dave and Matt On this
(01:00):
week's episode.
We're going to chat about somestuff About stuff and things.
And're going to chat about somestuff About stuff and things,
and lots of things, Things andstuff.
But before we jump into that,what's your week been doing,
Dave?
How's your week been?
My week's?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
been cleaning your house.
Man, I'm moving your house ithas.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It has Dave's been so ridiculously helpful.
I cannot repay him.
Ever in as many lifetimes as wehave.
It's just um, yeah, like thegratitude I feel is just crazy.
Um, he's moved pretty much mywhole house while I've been at
(01:38):
work and um been cleaned mywhole house while I've been at
work and didn't really have todo anything as far as cleaning
my old place, because Dave'spretty much done all of it and
all I had to do was go andre-clean a couple of windows on
the mirror wardrobes justbecause I was licking them too
(01:58):
much, because he came all overthem, no, because he just didn't
have the right tools to do thejob.
So I went over with some windowwipes and did that, and the
whole place was spotless, andnow you got rid of it.
Yeah, and now I've got the keysback today and then I've just
realised that the real estateasked me did I have a remote
control garage door key thing?
And I didn't think I did.
(02:19):
But when I was cleaning throughall my shit and emptying some
of my boxes, I realised that thebrand garage door what I was
looking at today was the sameremote that I have here.
So I do have to send it backover to them as well, no worries
.
Yeah, it's on my desk, but itdoesn't work.
The garage door never fuckinghas worked, but at least that
way they've got their remote,because it will be on the key
(02:40):
register.
Yeah, that's right.
So we do have to do that, I dohave to do that, but, um, but
yeah.
So what else have you beendoing this week?
You're talking.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
A bit of painting at your house.
Yeah, I've been waiting to getthe thing.
The weather's been a bit shit,hasn't it you?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
know yep cold yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
So you know, for me you've just done bits and pieces
in the house, cleaned up alittle bit of mess that was in
there, trying to make it a bitmore navigatable because there's
so much fucking paint and stuffboxes still everywhere and just
trying to set rooms up, as youknow.
Yeah, but it's getting there.
And today I did a little bitabout outdoor painting, which is
good.
I liked it.
I mean, when I'm in the moodand I'm in the zone, I'm happy
(03:16):
doing it, yeah.
But when I'm there for hoursand hours and hours and it's
just repetitive and repetitiveand you're like fucking hell,
this is doing my head and Idon't want to do this anymore
well, I would not be good at it,because I just don't do
painting.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's just not something I do.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I'm not, oh, look, I mean, it can be they, it can be
therapeutic, but for me, the thegrace of it all, the saving
grace, was listening to oursongs that we've been creating
oh yeah, we've been on a journey, okay.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Our songs we've been creating.
Okay, if we go on a ratio oflike 20 to 1, then we can call
it ours.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I guess Dave has a little bit more time up his
sleeve, like when I wake up at 2o'clock in the morning and I'm
like trying to get out of sleep.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, so he creates some AI songs on Suno.
He does a lot of the words andstuff like that and a lot of the
prompts are his, and then hesits there and fine tunes them a
bit and that.
So they are actually our songsand we're going to try and put a
lot more out there but this Imean I tend to but we've got,
we've already got a few out sothey cover every aspect.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, yeah well, yeah , there's already a few that
we've released already by thebeach boys last week, by the
passing of um the last beach boy.
Yeah, no, it wasn't the lastone.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, he wasn't the Last Beach Boy.
Well, he was the Last One,wasn't he?
No, he wasn't the Last One.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
A couple of some are live, but he was the main one.
I must be thinking Bee Geesyeah.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Bee Gees so confused.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You get confused easily.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, comment that one.
Yeah so for me.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I was inspired by that.
It came out quite.
It sounded very similar to them, didn't it you?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
said to me it was like wow, yeah, but we do have
some songs that we alreadypreviously released on Spotify.
On iTunes, if you just type inFully Grown Homos, you'll
actually find our music thatwe've created.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
And we'll be putting a lot more on there, because
we've got like 1,000 songs.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
After today's podcast , we're going to sit there and
we're going to go through andcreate some lists and publish.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
There's some funky ones on there, isn't there?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
And some download and actually upload some more,
because I've got the license.
So I might as well fucking useit Absolutely and pump the world
full of our creations, yeah,like we do in the saunas, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Or should I say church.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Well, not last week, we didn't't, but hey, we already
talked about that on the lastepisode that I'm yet to upload.
I'll do that today as well,hopefully, hopefully, um,
otherwise I can show dave how Iedit.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Um, you can show me, you can actually show me your
laptop and show me how to do theother bits and pieces.
I can show you how to do.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It'll be a learning curve for me dave's gonna have
dave's gonna have a school day.
I am, am, but yeah so yeah, somoved in set up I'd say 70%.
So far You've done well, you'vedone very well.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
You've done well, but you've done more unpacking.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, I've done more unpacking but 70% there.
Like, we've now got the podcastroom kind of set for the most
part.
There's still a little bit ofwork to do before we have some
friends over to um to jump in onthis podcast um, and we're
almost ready.
We've got another podcaster,that's he's due to have.
(06:13):
He's actually released anyminute now if he hasn't already.
I've been shit because I'vebeen so busy.
Yeah, well, we have been busyyeah even with work as well.
Yep, um.
So, danny boy, I'm not surewhether we've actually got
dropped his first episode yet ornot, but he's another guy that
we want to jump on.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
We'll touch base with him, we'll send him an email or
a message.
Yeah, a chat, instagram chat,just to see what's going on.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, because I want to jump on his show as well, and
vice versa as well, because hesounds like a fun character and
does some fun stuff, and he'sgiven us a couple of ideas for
us to do on ours that we'regoing to do later in this
episode as well.
Pet Peeves just a little teaserthere.
We've got some Boy, do we havesome Many?
But for the crux, for themajority of today's episode, we
(06:59):
spoke to you last week about howwe went and seen, went to a
book signing by rob goddard um,behind the smile, his recent
book that he's actuallydownloaded, yep, um.
So for we, neither of us haveread it yet, not yet, but we've
looked into.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
We browsed over.
I've looked through parts of it, but not I don't read and I'm
waiting for the audiobook.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
We know that, but we have actually looked at the
title page and I guess and it'sgiven us some inspiration,
hasn't it?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
for today's podcast, yeah, given us a bit of bit of
something to look at so the bookitself is called behind the
smile and it talks about themasks that we wear as a self
journey that rob has writtenabout his home life and his own
mask that he wore.
Yeah, but looking at thecontent and the the narrative of
it all, we've decided thatwe'll do today's podcast based
(07:46):
on other masks that we have.
Yeah, um, very similar to whatrob has done, but we all have
masks, every single person, youknow, I mean we definitely do
and I think hysterical.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
What's that?
Um guess?
Who just posted in our housegroup?
Oh okay, literally withinseconds of us jumping was it
britney?
yep, it certainly was um no, no,I'm not, I'm not doing now, um,
but um, before we jump intowhat we're talking about for the
most part, I want to, justbecause I you told me about this
(08:18):
website that rob actually ownsand runs, so it's called lifting
stones and it's it's a mindsetcoaching website that he
actually runs and it's basicallywhat he does for a living right
, um, and there's somephenomenal content on here, so,
like it, like I went just tohave a quick look at it and
(08:40):
stuff like that, and and I wentto some of the courses and
things like that that heactually offers now and to the
library and that and that, andhe does things on here and I
think it's ridiculously wellpriced as well so some of the
resources that he's actuallycreated on here, like the um
unlocking resilience.
(09:00):
So a lot of it's meant a guidefor men navigating life's
challenges in their prime right.
Um, that's 10 bucks, I knowit's it's really accessible.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
But I just think that rob as a person is so genuine.
He's such a very well-roundedperson.
He's been through a lot in hislife and you know the book will
explain all that to you know, ifpeople get a chance to read it,
which I suggest.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Apart from that, I just think the pricing, because
you do, look, I love self-help,yep Right.
I like all that guru stuff andI go through stages where I'm
really, really into it and thenstages where I'm not so into it
and that.
But like the five steps ofnavigating grief right, which is
(09:49):
a whole series that he's got,like that you can actually
download and listen and watch,and all that kind of stuff, but
it's $5.
I know, right, what can you getfor $5?
You can't even get a coffee.
You can't, no, exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
So this is like life-changing for people.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So this is stuff that actually is really good.
So head over to his website,liftingstonescomau.
He also does like a series ofpersonal coaching in that as
well.
He mainly does it for men, um,but I'm sure if you're a female
he would knock you back as aclient he had people at the book
signing that.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah, he did have females there and they have done
his courses, so I know that hedoes put out there for everybody
yeah, correct, but he obviously, being a gay guy, he puts
himself out there towards men'smental health because he can
adapt more to that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, correct, but inretrospect it's for everybody,
you know.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, but he's kind of awesome, he is definitely, so
he's really awesome.
Definitely support him in termsof like looking at Biden's book
or rolling in the coursesbecause I can't well, it's not
even about supporting him, it'sabout following yourself on on
his social media, on instagram,facebook.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
He's on all of those as well, yeah, but he's so
engaging, but he does have that,that presence that you feel
very calm and very um, we'refans we know that.
Definitely fan girls,definitely fan girls.
I got a fan badge.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, yeah, you do, I follow him dave's been
following him for years, butyeah, so today, like I said, the
main part of this is going tobasically be inspired by.
We're not going to take hismasks and sort of sell them off
as our own.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
No, we've just sort of had a look at some of his.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
This is just an inspiration, and we wondered
what mask do we wear frequently?
And so, I guess, in the stateof being very vulnerable and
transparent, we always giveourself.
Yep, well, we'll discuss that,actually, but we do give
(11:41):
ourselves a lot of ourselves, um, but we do give ourselves a lot
of ourselves.
Um, so, for myself, like what?
I?
The mask of control.
Um, now, I always need to be incontrol.
I need to feel secure, right.
So, whether it's with if, if,it's little things like me
having to drive somewhere rightnow, people will often say I'll
(12:06):
drive and I'll go.
No, no, it's okay, I'll driveand it's a way of me keeping
control of myself and mysituation.
Yeah, um, it's a way of mebeing secure and it's enabling
me to feel secure in thesituation where I am but it's
not a threatening control.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
It's not controlling other people.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
No, it's about me maintaining control of me and my
surroundings for me, because,again, wanting to stay safe,
wanting to make sure that Iguess I feel protected, because
I guess when it's come from,look, I haven't always felt safe
(12:48):
.
So I think, especially as ayounger guy growing up, and
especially growing up in MountDruitt, like the rough part of
where I was definitely didn'tfeel safe.
Right now, I think having, if Iwas to go to a psychologist,
fuck, they've got some work, ora psychiatrist fuck, they've got
(13:11):
some work to do.
But I think being in controlpretty much at all times and if
there is a time when I'm not incontrol, I don't deal well.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
No, I've seen that.
You've seen it yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I don't deal well, like there's a few people've
seen that, you've seen it.
Yeah, I don't deal with likethere's a few people, very few
people that have seen it,because I try very hard to make
sure I'm never in thosesituations.
Um, so, yeah, I think the maskof control for me is a big one
that I wear and that, but butwith masks I guess they can come
(13:50):
and go.
You can take them off and putthem back on again, but they
serve you they potentially serveyou and and they are my safety,
like I, I use especially thecontrol one as a safety
mechanism for me.
Yeah, um, like I'm not going todrop that control at any time
soon.
No, and I don't need to.
I'm aware it's there, right,yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I know you are, you know I, I can tell when you're
stressing about things and thecontrol mask comes back up again
yeah, yeah, but that's fine butI've learned to accept that
myself because at the end of theday, I know it's part of who
you are.
Yeah, correct, and that'simportant, because at the end of
the day, it's just who you are.
Yeah but it gives you thatprotection you need?
Yeah, and in situations.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Certain situations it goes right up and there's like
impenetrable, right, but othersituations it's sort of okay,
I'm a bit more free with this,this, this, this and this and I
guess it depends on the who'saround, the trust level that I
have for the people that arewith me.
Yeah, um, and for the thing is,it's not like you don't you?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
you don't?
You're not scared about people,other people taking control or
taking charge of certain things.
It's the fact that when youfeel threatened or you feel
vulnerable, that's when yourcontrol levels are increased and
your mask comes back on to play.
You know?
So, um, you know, I get it.
You know, I totally understand.
I mean, like, if you go intodoing something that you're not
(15:13):
familiar with, then obviouslyyou're not going to be able to
have control because it'ssomething that you haven't got.
That point, but you'll comeback and you'll start stressing
about it.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, I take tiny steps until I can get control.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, or usually I don't take tiny steps, I take
huge steps and maybe this is whyyour persona of like I'm
perfect not perfect, but youknow I'm right always comes from
maybe Only because I'm alwayscorrect, but you're not always.
I am not, but that is down tocontrol.
Again, you know what I mean.
Control, yeah, yeah, yeah,definitely, definitely.
(15:45):
But we have a laugh about thatbecause it's not like you're not
that sort of person.
No, I don't need to always becorrect God knows that would be
funny, but it's just a fun thing.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
You say yeah, I'm always right, though, Until I'm
proven that I'm not, and that'susually in an intellectual
status, but then you still tryand prove the way that you are.
Yeah, yeah, I try and provethat you were wrong instead of
me being right, because thatautomatically makes me right.
Or two hours later you'll comeout and say you see, I told you
(16:13):
I was right.
Yeah, I told you I was right.
I told you I was correct, butyeah there was one time.
I wasn't right, I wasn't correctand I was incorrect about that
time.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
But yeah.
So what have you got down asyour first one?
My first one I've got down isthe mask of suppression.
Now, I have that down to thefact that my early life, so
you've worn this for a long time.
I've worn it for a long time,but I don't wear it so much now.
Suppression is not necessary.
No, I don't.
I mean I can have moments,situations, yeah, situations.
System no, I don't.
I mean I I can have moments,situations, yeah, situations.
(16:50):
But suppression for me camefrom concealing myself as a
young person because I didn'tfeel comfortable with myself.
I suppose.
Well, I think, all gay men yeah, exactly, well, anybody you
don't have to be gay to havesuppression.
You can be suppressed in otherways, such as you know, you can
be forced by your parents to dosomething you don't want to do,
(17:12):
yeah, such as learn a musicalinstrument or become a
professional, something that youdon't want to do, but you're
living through their eyes, ifthat makes sense.
Yeah, so that's a form ofsuppression, but for me, the
suppressions, I think, came notbecause I was suppressed for my
family, my mom and dad, or myfamily, it was just society that
put a lot of pressure on me tobecome inwards, on myself, to
live a life that conformed towhat they wanted, if that makes
(17:36):
sense, yep, yep.
And that went through all theway through my teenage years,
all the way through to myadulthood, where I was in the
military.
And again it became even morecompounded when I was in the
military because it was soagainst the law, it was so
illegal to be gay or havethoughts or anything like that,
and I saw people being thrownout and go to jail for it.
(17:58):
You know, I mean, and it wasjust so morally wrong.
So you know, my, my guard wasup there.
Look at, I had choices.
I didn't have to join themilitary.
But again, it was a career paththat I wanted to go down.
So I don't regret doing that.
But again, wearing that mask ofsuppression for me was part of
who I became.
And it wasn't until I came out,until I came out as a gay man
(18:21):
to myself properly and then cameout to my family members, that
that mask of suppression sort oflike slipped down a little bit.
It's still there because, likeI've told you before, I haven't
told everybody and I don't needto tell everybody and this is
where what you're probablysaying is, when it comes back
into play, is when I feel alittle bit threatened by people
around me that I don'tnecessarily want to tell because
(18:42):
I don't want to go through thewhole path of opening up and,
you know, having to justify whoI am to anybody, um, anymore, if
that makes sense it's likecoming out, again, coming out
again, coming again, comingagain.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I don't need to do that and we had this
conversation earlier today aboutcoming out repeatedly and I
think we've spoken about it anumber of times on different
podcasts, different sessions howwe have to come out
continuously.
Yep, right, um, and I guesspeople from your past life that
you do see after maybe 10, 20years, yeah, and that's when
(19:13):
your postures come out.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Well, this is where you saw this come out recently,
because I had a friend from theUK that was over here for six
months and I caught up with hima couple of times prior to him
going back Very good friend ofmine.
Again, he's not homophobic,he's not anyone that will judge
anybody.
He's a very decent person.
But I was just.
I didn't know if he knewbecause I've never told him, but
(19:37):
I'm sure that he might knowfrom other people that know.
If that makes sense, yeah,because I found out that a lot
of people have found out aboutme through talking, talking,
talking and gossip exactly,which is fine because at the end
of the day, it saves me havingto do it, you know that makes
sense.
Yeah, and I'm not scared orfrightened or or embarrassed by
(19:58):
anything, but what I'm saying isif they know, that's fine, they
don't need to bring it up infront of me.
Or if they ask me, I won't denyit.
But I don't need to say oh, bythe way, matt or Mark or whoever
it might be.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I'm a gay man.
Okay, you're Dave, right, andyou just happen to be gay.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah, exactly, and that's what I'm saying.
It's not.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I'm gay and, by the way, I happen to be Dave.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
But, as we know, we don't go out there and publicize
our sexuality because we don'tneed to, because we just who we
are.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
But this is the thing .
It's not my.
If people were to say, can youlist matt's five personality
traits, and then I'd have putgay up the top of the list, I'd
be kind of offended me too.
Yeah right, because I'd like tothink that.
It is like I'd like to thinkthat if they're loving yeah
compassionate um can't um caring, loving, yeah, compassionate,
(20:54):
um yeah, can't um womanizer, no,yeah, even though women do love
you.
Crotch watcher, um yeah, womenlove you crotch watcher.
Though I better, I better befucking people pleaser, people
pleaser oh, fuck off, I am not.
Sometimes I am um.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
But you know, it's just one of those things.
So for me, the act ofsuppression um yeah, and I guess
there is suppression again.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Suppression is similar to that control thing
where it's um keeping yourselfsafe yeah as well, I guess, in
situations because, again, I'm,I'm, and I guess one of the
other ones I spoke about was um,masculinity, the mask of
masculinity that I constantlywear in certain situations, like
if we're in a new environmentwhere I don't know anyone, and
(21:36):
things like that I'm notcomfortable in everything, like
I'm not giving my whole self atthat point in time.
Right, I'm not about to sitthere and start talking about
drag race, which I findextremely entertaining and fun,
right, and we'll talk toeveryone about um, but I'm not
about to drop that in the localpub yeah right, we're going to
(21:59):
go down for dinner to the pubtonight.
I'm not about to sit there andchat with a bar mate about a
drag race, no, and who's, unlessthey bring it up and obviously
start, but it's just not whatI'm going to do.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
So I think is that it's um, but even as we've
discussed earlier today as well,it's about feeling inwardly on
yourself because you can'texpress yourself, because you
know, like I know, it's normaland legal for people to go and
hold hands and show emotion andstuff like that.
Yeah but, we're not that sortof people I'm not a pda kind of
guy.
No, we don't need to do that.
(22:31):
I mean in public, in private isdifferent, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I mean, yeah, public, you don't need to have public
we hug other people we yeah,yeah, yeah, I'll hug and I'll
squeeze and I'll especially Ilike all the boys, like I'll get
.
I'll give them a cheeky asssqueeze as.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
But we don't need to go walking up the street holding
hands kissing.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
But I'm not the kind of guy and never will be.
Never have been the kind of guyto want to hold my partner's
hand walking down the street toshow everyone how much I love
them.
Yeah, it's just oh.
Oh, we're going to talk abouticks and that later, and that is
definitely one of mine.
I fucking hate it.
(23:13):
I'd hate people anyway.
Affection it's disgusting, butit's gross.
Love is filthy.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Love makes me vomit but you went to see him in the
bedroom.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Then he's wild that's a different story.
That's not love, that's calledlust.
Is that right?
Yeah, you should know, you'vebeen on the receiving end.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Many times, yeah, many times.
It's very true.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
True, and the receiving end as well.
Yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
See, I've got another one here.
Again, it relates to the samething a mask of acceptance.
Again.
I mean, you know, we talk aboutaccepting each other, accepting
what we do and what we believeis right.
So I guess self-acceptance,self-acceptance is a big one,
yeah, yeah, definitely.
I mean, I think, once you've,once you've learned to master
(23:53):
the art of self self-acceptanceyeah, have you not really?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
you know this is the thing, isn't it?
Because otherwise right and Iguess um acceptance slash
approval is similar, all right.
In in a similar vein Yep, andone of mine is the mask of
approval, yep, and it's sort ofsimilar and it's like we both
say I don't give a fuck whatpeople think about me.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Oh, we don't genuinely and I genuinely don't
care.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
What somebody thinks of me is not my business.
Exactly what somebody saysabout me, I don't care less.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
And we've had that.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
However, I still do seek approval in certain
situations.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I get, I get offended in myself.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, which is really pisses myself off.
Yeah, more than else, and don'task me how we get past it well,
I think I have the same nature.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well thing is, I have the same emotions as what you
do.
I, I, I dwell on it, thinkingyou know why do people have to
bring this up?
Or why do people have to judgeme?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
But if I take it just to my work, for example, right
now, without going into thedetails of where I work, those
that know know, but I started ina new place recently, right,
and there were certain thingsthat weren't meeting my boss's
criteria, as in your boss, myboss, Right?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
yeah because you are a boss.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
And I'm the boss in my store, but then I've got a
boss, and then he's got a boss,and he's got a boss, and so on
and so forth.
That's how the chain works.
Hierarchy works, but theyweren't meeting his criteria,
they definitely weren't meetingmine.
But In order to make sure thatwhen he came in the next visit,
(25:29):
which happened like two weeksafter the first visit, there
were certain things that Iwanted to do to make sure that
that visit, that second visit,was one that would blow his mind
and blow him out of the water.
Now, it was for a number ofreasons.
It was, yes, because I thoughtif that second visit is
(25:51):
spectacular and he can see thatI'm making headway and I've done
a lot, you can relax a bit more, I can breathe a bit.
Right, he's going to say, oh,he hasn't done nothing in two
weeks.
Right, he's actually done someactions.
But it was also really to gethis approval like also, you need
(26:11):
to get it done well, well, okay, and for again.
I recently took a stint out ofmy role into a new role where I
didn't achieve anything and Ifelt like a failure yeah, and
again that's time to accept.
I felt like a failure becausethere were things I was doing
that I just couldn't do right.
So by getting this done to thestandard that it got done and by
(26:36):
getting him to come in and go,this is better than I expected.
This is amazing.
You've done sensational hereright.
It was kind of like ah, I gotapproval from my dad almost
which we all crave.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
You have to suffer whole in life Suffer approval.
Ah, I got approval from my dadalmost, which we all crave our
whole life Self-approval, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
So that sort of reaffirmed who you are it?
Reaffirmed that I'm good atwhat I do.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, exactly, all right.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Because I knew I was.
But it was really good to feellike there was some
justification in me thinkingthis is what it should be.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
And that's the same thing when you get praise.
I hate praise, I hate praise,full stop.
I don't like it.
I mean even though.
I know, I'm just I don't likeit either, I know, but it gives
you that sense of like okay, Iknow I'm doing the right thing.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Or I appreciate what they doand I or I appreciate what they
do.
I always appreciate it, but Ihate it.
I hate being praised.
To me, it's just like oh, Idon't need to be told that.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, if you're told Dave, he's actually good looking
, he sits there and he tries toargue with you and go you can
fucking listen to me, but that'sin the eye of the person no no,
no, and you're doing it rightnow.
I know because you can't justcop it on the chin that just
deal with it you are shut up,bitch um, or I'll stick
(27:53):
something in your mouth again.
We'll do a live podcast sexlive sex on the podcast.
You're probably already havingthe 700 that you've got.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Um so, um yeah so, so that that's pretty much the
acceptance.
I think I've got one more,which is the mask of shame, and
again, I think shame issomething that we all have at
some point in our life yeah andI don't know exactly how to
describe it for me.
Um, even though I know I feelshamed sometimes about you know
(28:30):
like it's about what hit me witha, with a.
The shame is, I feel like I'veI've disrespected my ex-wife
yeah, by being closeted all thattime and basically, um, going
along with the whole narrativeof being this straight person
which I acted and I was.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
You were.
You didn't act it.
You were yeah, you werewholeheartedly yeah, I was, I
embraced myself into it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I mean, even though I was suppressing myself, going
back to that suppression side ofthings, but I never cheated,
never did anything wrong bymyself.
But again, I felt guilt.
I felt shame about that, hidingmy, my identity to her.
You know, when I finally cameout and she was like fully
acceptance of me, I felt shameinside of me for deceiving her,
(29:17):
if that makes sense yeah, but atthe same time I don't look.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And I know your ex-wife, I know your son, yep
right.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
So the thing is that neither of them hold any
resentment towards no, I knowbecause you didn't half-ass that
marriage you didn't half-assand I'm not new, I'm not unique
in this at all.
There's many, many guys outthere, and women as well, but I
don't think it's it's something.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
And again, here's me armchair psychologist.
Yeah, I don't think it'ssomething that you should be
shameful for, because you didn'tactually.
You weren't, you were hidingfrom you.
If anyone that should be, youshould be asking forgiveness of
it's yourself.
Yeah, right, and this is havingfor carrying the shame about
(30:03):
that because, yeah, you weren'tdeceitful to your wife.
You were the father, you werethe husband, you were the there,
you were doing your duties.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
But you find yourself internally fighting yourself.
So you know the faces of shamecan be things like withdrawal.
You can withdraw from peopleand I've done that many times.
I've withdrawn from people.
I don't correspond with peopleand I'm a very big social person
.
You know right, no way.
and I will talk, and talk, andtalk and no way when I was on
back in the day, when I was ongrinder and scruff and all the
(30:36):
other apps, and I haven't beenon them for four years, as you
know, um, even though I stillsubscribe, yeah he still pays
his subscription fees.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't even fucking pay a subscription.
Maybe one day I'm on it.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Maybe one day I'll get back on them again, but who
knows?
Speaker 1 (30:48):
We know all the Steve's are waiting.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I found that I was just talking to people.
But I was spending so much timejust talking, yeah, but that's
all anyone does, I know.
But what I'm saying is I wasbasically talk, talk, talk.
So when I got off those, I kindof withdrew away from a lot of
my friends as well as in, like Ididn't correspond with them as
much, and I have done that witha few friends, as you know.
Yeah, it's not the fact that Idon't care about them, I don't
(31:10):
want to talk, it's just I findthat I'm overwhelmed with the
amount of people I'm talking toall the time you can't handle
more than two conversations Iknow, but it's just.
It's just for me.
I don't want them to feel thatI'm ignoring them or dissing
them, because I still care aboutthem and I will be in contact
with them.
But my frequency of likechatting with them has gone from
like 100% down to zero, most ofthe time no no.
(31:32):
I know, but what I'm saying isthat's part of my withdrawal
right.
I don't know why, I just don'tknow.
Well, you need yeah, so I'maware of it and I know that
Another one is self-attack.
People self-attack themselvesbecause they feel sh ashamed of
doing something like you knowI'm.
I'm ashamed about being gay,but I'm not really myself, I'm
happy, I'm embraced in myself,but other people might be
(31:55):
ashamed of it.
You know I mean, especiallywhen it comes to social and
cultural, religion, religious orethnicity.
You know I mean it could bethem withdrawing into themselves
or attacking themselves becausethey don't want to be part of
that group.
I don't know.
Yeah, avoidance and attackingothers.
You find that you?
Speaker 1 (32:14):
yeah, when, when you're ashamed of a trait yeah,
um, for example, back on someoneyou always point pinpoint
someone else, like if you're, ifyou're cheating on your partner
, it's usually the person that'scheating that sits there and
says you're cheating on me totheir partner non-stop, um, or I
don't know if I can trust youanymore, because I think you're
(32:34):
doing this, I think you're doingthis, and then you find out
retrospectively that they're theone doing it all.
Yeah, yeah, so I get that.
What have you got another?
Speaker 2 (32:42):
one there.
No, I've, I've gone through allmy space because I know this is
very important for me.
Going back to the suppressionand acceptance, I think more so
the suppression, given myhistory of my injury now for a
long time, and this stillaffects me even now.
I get very wound up and veryfrustrated when it comes to
(33:04):
insurance companies more thananything, and I never used to be
like that, I never used to beangry.
But I find myself that mytemper is very short these days
and it has been for a long time,and you've seen that, you've
seen that evident quite a lot ofthe time all you do is dangle
your son in front of you.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah, zero to 150.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Not that I don't care or love about him, just the
fact that you know I just can'tdeal with some of the things and
it just makes me angry andfrustrated inside.
So the frustration and all thatlies back to my injury.
When I had the injury, I lostmy job, went through 11 years of
being controlled by insurancecompanies, that's medically,
physically, emotionally, and Ijust felt suppressed, so
(33:42):
suppressed it was unbelievable.
Okay, and this is again.
I mean for me.
It changed my identity so muchto who I am now in a bad way,
because I never used to be theangry, frustrated person I was.
I was very calm, very much moreable to deal with things when
it came my way.
So this is a result of thatcontrol on me, if that makes
(34:05):
sense yeah so again, I have thatmask where I'm in myself.
I can't remove that mask now.
I don't know how to remove it.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I wish I could be able to remove that frustration,
the anger from myself and goback to the person I was before,
if that makes sense yeah, butit also has brought you to the
person you are today yeah, I'mnot so it's not a bad thing yeah
well, we can take traits fromour past, because I don't want
(34:34):
to be the person I was before,because I was a gullible fuckwit
that believed that I hadn'tbeen cheated on.
Yeah, like the first time.
Then the second time, yeah, Isat there and I went.
So I won't be that gullibleidiot again, right?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
but if there's anything I would change about
myself, is would be more so theanger side of things.
If I could control, you canthrow that away.
I know.
You can choose, because angeris a choice because it's an
emotion, it's a coping mechanismfor me now.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
No, it's an emotion, right, and we get to choose our
emotions.
That's actually an adult thingthat we actually do get to
choose our emotions.
And whether we put a mask onnow in in one of the roles I was
at previously, right, I had toturn up to work 100 happy in
that role because I had to coachother people and mentor other
(35:20):
people and develop other people,so I had to turn up happy, and
it's not possible to be happyall the time and be, yeah, this
is fun, this is amazing.
How are we all today?
You know, yeah, it's notpossible, right, but you can
turn it on, you can hold thatmask up for a little while and
eventually you're in that mood.
(35:41):
Yeah, it stays on.
Right, you're, it stays on.
So, when you say anger andfrustration, right, right, you
can sit there and go all right.
Well, I'm choosing not to beangry, I'm choosing not to be
frustrated over this, becausethis is just a situation, right,
and this situation is going topass, right.
So therefore and I know it willpass because it's passed before
(36:03):
there's history that tells youthat it will pass because it's
passed before, right, so you cansit there and go all right.
Well, I'm actually going tochoose not to be angry.
I'm just going to push thataside for the minute.
We're going to choose somethingelse.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
But for me, I wish I didn't have that trait anymore.
I really do, because I knowit's part of who I am, but it's
a trait that I don't enjoy.
It's a trait I don't like.
I mean, when I get angry veryquickly, I, in my, in my head,
in my head, I start feeling veryoverwhelmed and really anxious
about what I've done.
I mean, I'm never nasty orvindictive or horrible to people
(36:36):
.
No, I go off on like a one tohundred in 10 seconds.
You know, I mean, and I don'tthink about everything
realistically like I used to.
I was very logically thinking,you know, before I'd overreact.
Yeah, that's true, I'm morevulnerable to cranky old man.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah, absolutely, you're probably right, 100%.
A cranky old man.
Yeah, cranky cunt, a cc you are, so it's, um, so it's, it's
okay.
You're allowed to get cranky atthings.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
You're allowed to get frustrated at things as well,
so yeah, um, I'll learn toaccept it, but if I could get
rid of it, I would.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Well, there's a really easy way To a
psychologist no, no, no, no, no,no.
You just need a post-it note, apad, and I'd say get a really
fucking big pad for you, Like apanty pad when you're feeling a
certain way you write that wordonto a post-it note.
(37:30):
Then you pick it up, you scrunchit up and then you throw it in
the bin.
Not put it on my forehead andlook at the mirror.
No well, you can play celebrityif you want.
I prove myself.
You just can imagine how am Igoing to put it on today.
Just fucking put cunt writtenall over your head celebrity.
But yes, you can actuallyscrunch it up and throw it into
the bin and that emotion hasactually gone in the bin for the
day then as well.
That's a tip for everyone outthere, from Matt the Guru there
(37:53):
you go.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
You'll be starting a new camp soon, won't you?
I'm going to fucking start myown.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
He'll go from yoga to no, my yoga camp is happening
all right.
It's a pity that you didn't winthe $100 million.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Some fucker didn't let me win $100 million Somebody
from the eastern suburbs of allplaces, hey, which is a very
affluent area.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
They didn't need to win that.
I needed to win it desperatelyand it didn't happen.
It's probably someone famous.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
now look, could you imagine it?
Yeah bloody probably Kyle.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Well, if it is good luck to him, he's a good guy.
Do you think he is a good guy?
But he doesn't need another$100 million.
Another hundred million.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
He's already got hundreds of millions.
Oh look, the thing is, I knowright, but he's just all
self-made anyway, yeah correct,correct.
But I'd like to be self-made byLotto.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
That's very true.
Yeah, yeah, all right, so let'sjump on.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, so that was basically our main conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
And no doubt once we actually read the book, or once
Dave reads the book and I get tolisten to the book, might even
read a couple of chapters hereand there.
Who knows, who knows, you'vegot time now.
I've got fucking no time.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
I've still got house 60.
On your way to work you have inthe mornings yeah, but I'm not
reading on a train.
Well, you should do no that'snot going to happen.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm busy watching Netflix or something, or
catching up with Drag to 550,000songs that Dave's made from the
night before.
But, yeah, but introducing anew segment, yep, because at the
end of the day we struggled alittle bit.
Dave was going through his head.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
I was getting frustrated with it.
Because he was gettingfrustrated because he couldn't
find the words, because certainletters didn't have words,
didn't have words, well, theyweren't meeting enough.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
And I was like, yeah, he was trying to invent a new
segment.
Stop pulling that cord.
It's not a fucking bookmark.
Hey, shut up.
It's a head to your earphonesand you won't be able to hear.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
You won't be able to hear either.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Anyway, our new segment and wow, that was really
timely.
It's pet peeves, slash icks,all right.
So what is an ick?
All right, let me just letgoogle tell you exactly what an
ick is, because I dictionarythis right and it says it's an
(40:01):
ick is an unpleasant sticky?
Oh no.
Or congenital substance, no,that's Okay.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
An ick is used to express disgust right, you say
that with a big disgust.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Disgust right.
It says here that ick is a termused in dating to refer to a
sudden feeling of disgust orrepulsion to a dating partner.
Somebody was exhibiting right,but it can also be like a pet
peeve or an ick sort of thing.
So we're going to go with that,because I think my list is
infinite.
(40:35):
Oh, I could go on for hours.
I know, and that's what I'mafraid of, that we will, so I've
limited us to two today.
Two, two.
I can't do two.
You can do two.
Well, my two might go to four.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Bank them.
Bank Two, two.
I can't do two, you can do two.
Well, my two might go to four.
Bank them.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Bank them.
I can't bank things.
You know that you can bank icsand pet peeves.
All right, you're going tostart.
Then what's your first ick orpet peeve, dave?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
My first ick is when people don't put deodorant on
and they walk past you and youcan just smell the body odor and
you can just smell the bodyodor.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
I can never smell it.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
I know you can't because I've been past many
people.
I said to Matt can you fuckingsmell them?
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Years and years of excessive drug use.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Look, my son's got a fucking you know, an odor
problem.
In terms of like you, know?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, it's usually from his plastic shoes, oh yeah,
feet or shoes.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
But he's, you know, he's probably not aware of it he
sweats a lot, so it's, it's ahormonal thing for him.
But what gets me is when peoplejust don't bother.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
you know, I mean you know, so I can smell bo.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, bo is fucking.
I mean, we all have it so.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
So I guess, to relate to that, the part that I don't
like, and, and on the afternoonI catch sydney trains, all right
, so of a sydney train of anafternoon, I'm not unfamiliar
with the fragrance that Dave'stalking about.
Right, and it's usually maskedby some kind of Lynx Africa
(41:59):
spray, if you're lucky.
If you're lucky, yeah, allright.
However, the thing that I don'tlike, that really does ick me
on.
This particular ick is whenit's first thing of the morning
and it's a female and it's gross.
Then you sit there and you go.
(42:19):
You're supposed to be theneater, cleaner sex of the two
of us.
Why do you stink like youhaven't showered in a month and
a half and it's even worse whenyou're trapped next to them.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
They're sat right next to you.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, and it usually is a public transport sort of
situation.
Like a walk by.
At least you can go.
Oh God, that's fucking gross.
And they can keep walking by.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
I reckon Sydney trains need to have like a
decontamination tube.
As you go in you have to walkthrough through it.
It decontaminates you.
It'd be great.
And then you go in and it's aventilated.
Um, it's a wonder they didn'tput that in covid.
Oh yeah, it should have done.
Yeah, could be ideas you cangive.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah great idea, great idea, that's my first,
your first, is that all right?
So my first ick or first petpeeve?
More so is when I ask siri forsomething and she doesn't give
it to me, like I literally justasked her what an ick is right
and she told you everythingabout it.
(43:14):
She told me everything, but shetold me some numbers.
Is the number between sevenpreceding seven?
No, after seven and before nine?
And I'm sitting there going.
How is that even close?
I'm thinking you fucking stupidmoron bitch, like, like you're
supposed to be, ai, you'resupposed to be here to help and
(43:34):
I know that I speak with amumble or an aussie accent
sometimes, so I get that it'shard to understand me,
especially if you're a dumbrobot like siri and I'm
surprised she hasn't come on nowthat I've said her name three
times.
But if you're like an automated, ai-generated thing, learn the
(43:56):
language Like, fuck me, like it.
Just it grinds my gears because, look, I've had many a
conversation with her right,many a conversation and I use
her frequently because I'm astickler for the rules.
We know that.
So when I'm driving somewhere,I will often ask her to call
somebody or to do something, andoccasionally she will call the
(44:16):
wrong person and do the wrongthing.
But if I'm typing out a textmessage or voicing a text
message, I'd say 95% of the timeshe gets at least part of it
wrong and I look like a fuckingdirty creep.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Google's 100% wrong all the time.
You know that.
But you speak with an Englishaccent, I know, but you know,
you see my auto-typing as it is,without fucking Google helping
it.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
That's not even voice automated, though I know Like
it's just.
It does it.
Just.
I think to myself how do youget it so wrong, like?
And I know that there'sthousands and thousands of cases
on the internet where peoplehave sort of said things and
she's got it wrong and it's sentit to her mum and something
like that, Like, but it's justlike it just it grinds my gears.
(45:01):
It really gets me.
So yeah, yeah, yeah, she's abitch and she's a stupid bitch
at times.
I remember that time.
No, actually that was funny,because we were driving
somewhere and I think I said yougot asked.
I said hey, google.
She piped up and went I'llpretend I didn't hear that.
(45:22):
And I thought oh, now youlisten to me, bitch.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Correct yourself there, didn't you?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, it was amusing, she probably felt threatened.
So she does actually provide mewith some amusement at times as
well, and if you want to getsome amusement from her I don't
know if she does it anymoreshe's taught to herself.
No, no, you can ask her what umone divided by one is.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Oh yeah and she sits, or you get the one to go.
I say uh-huh no, no.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
If you ask what one divided by one is or something
like she said, she'll sit thereand says something about oh no,
zero divided by zero.
You gotta ask her and she sayssomething about you can't divide
zero by zero.
An example of this is that ifyou had zero friends and you're
divided by them zero cookiesyou're divided by zero.
An example of this is that ifyou had zero friends and you
divided by them zero cookies,you divided by zero friends, or
something like that.
You get zero cookies and I'msad that you got zero friends.
(46:13):
It's actually really, reallyentertaining.
Get out there and ask her whatzero divided by zero is.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Ask her what.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Ask her to rap as well.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I'll fart.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Yeah, that's funny.
She does provide entertainment,so I do love her at times, but
I just wish she'd get mymessages right sometimes.
So that's your ick, all rightwhat's your second one, dave?
Speaker 2 (46:35):
My second one is motoring.
Again, it's when you've gotthese fucking idiots that put
their fucking car exhausts onfull.
You know what I mean, as inthey've got really loud exhausts
on full, you know I mean, as inthey got really loud really
loud exhaust and they're justfucking driving up there and
they're fucking revving theirengines and it just fucking gets
my fucking gears and I canconfirm yep, that dave goes
(46:56):
fucking bonkers.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
We talk about the um angry dave from zero to 110.
That's how you create it.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
I get road rage.
Any loud exhaust, I get fuckingroad rage Right.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
He goes, fucking idiots.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
I think it's any loud noise.
I think it's just when babiesstart crying and screaming.
Cranky old man, oh, I can'tdeal with it.
Noise is just too much.
Even playing on the pokey,sometimes I fuck up the machine
next to me it's fucking too loud, and I me it's fucking too loud
and I'm like, fuck off, it'sgot a volume you know, fuck off,
get this fucking noise out ofmy head.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Leave me alone.
I've found some new plugs today.
Actually I was unpacking stuff,yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll give them
to your grandpa, okay?
Um well, that that's my next,anyway so yeah, that's your name
all those fucking noisy cuntsyeah, but yeah, but I and I get
it.
I do get it because I neverused to be like that.
There's no need for it though.
No, like, why add a noisy thingon your muffler?
(47:48):
Yeah, that's going to make itsound even noisier.
Yeah, like, dave has a love ofmotorbikes, especially the ones
that have the big, loud Harleys.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Well, they fucking drive outside my house all the
time, other fucking trucks, thefucking and I'm like fuck off,
get out of my fucking head toofunny.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
So mine is also a traffic one.
Okay, all right, but it's thethank you, it's the polite thank
you.
Right, if I'm letting you in,oh yeah, I don't have to let
anyone in, right?
I've got a big fuck-off LDVU, Idon't have to let no one in.
But if I'm being polite and I'mletting you in a courtesy wave,
thank you would be polite andfriendly.
(48:33):
It just I do it and I usuallyI'm an over-waver.
I literally wave to the middle,I wave to the side.
I'm waiting for him toacknowledge that I've waved to
the middle.
I waved to the side.
I'm waiting for him toacknowledge that I waved to him.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
He's got his window down.
He's waving like the queen.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
I've got my arm out, popping my head out saying
thanks, buddy, Did you get that?
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Like.
You know what I mean.
Look at me, I'm so fuckinggreat.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
I literally am an over-waver, to make sure that
they know how appreciative I wasabout letting them in and even
when they pass you again, youwave I do I blow them a kiss.
I usually fucking transfer somecash into their account and
stuff like that.
Um no, I don't have their bsbas an account numbers, otherwise
I probably would um, but butlike I give them a bj as they
(49:20):
pull up at the lights.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Hey, I'll do that for sure.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
But like it just gets me and it makes me angry and I
think, well, the rest of theworld's going to fucking suffer
now because I'm never lettinganyone in again.
Right, I want one more, and Ido, I do.
I let them in.
You can't bank it.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
No, you know who this is Okay.
Okay, you know who this is okay.
You know who this is this is aperson.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Okay, this is not a.
This is not a.
Okay, all right, go go crankyold man.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Go well the club.
We go to perry with panthers.
Yep, there's a guy that worksthere no name and shame can I?
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, his name is dougie.
He's an old, cantankerous cunt.
And how tall is he?
About two feet three foot tall.
He'd be fucking short.
If I had a spade, I'd befucking digging him right under
the ground he has only got.
(50:17):
He is only gonna fucking lookat me and I fucking go off on
one he doesn't even have to lookat you, he just grinds my
fucking gears he's aninterfering little old twat that
fucking stands behind peoplewhen they're trying to do things
he's got short man syndrome.
Oh fucking hell to the nthdegree.
He's got.
He's got a phobia about fuckinghaving more than four chairs
(50:39):
together or three tablestogether, because he has a
fucking.
He has ocd um just a little bitto the max, but it's not just
me.
Russ can't stand it either.
No, no, no.
We all talk about, we all laugh, don't we?
But yeah, but it gets to me,but he really gets you, he gets
when we come in for the car park.
I can hear his fucking voice atthe top of the car park and I'm
walking down there thinking fuckyou before you get there, and I
(51:00):
just don't want to look at himI won't acknowledge you.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
But he also knows this now, because he just now,
because when I walk in now hejust says he just points at the
machine.
Thank you, sir.
Right, he's so polite becausehe knows that he's one step away
from us actually reporting him.
Right, because he's tried toused to try and touch our cards
and take our cards and swipe usin right and again.
(51:23):
No, no, I'm an adult and I hada swipe in right, it's a real.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
I've been going here every three times a week for the
last fucking two years.
You don't need to look at mypicture, it's on there.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
You know, but it's just like oh my God, but Dave,
he just has to look in Dave'sdirection, breathe in Dave's
direction, even if, even if it'snothing to do with Dave.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
I'll be watching him.
That's a problem.
I sit and I look at him andeverybody's talking to me.
We've told Dave so many times.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
Turn around and face the other way and he's going.
No, I won't change.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
But I'll be talking to people and then suddenly, out
of the corner of my eye, I'llsee him fucking doing something.
And then my eyes will be thereand they're all looking at me
going.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Dave, stop it now relax leave him alone.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
It's funny as I just, I just want to fucking knock.
I don't want to kill him, but Ijust want to fucking yeah, you
kind of do.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
I just want him.
I just want him out of my life Idon't want him in my brain, you
don't want him near you don'twant him anywhere near me, but
yes, but it is um, it ishysterical to watch, um, to say
the very very least.
But, yeah, you've got to haveanother one now.
No, no, no, I'm okay, I canbank mine, are you sure?
Yeah, I've got thousands ofthem, but I can bank mine.
(52:32):
All right, but yeah, I thinkwe'll wrap up on that If you've
got a good egg that you like.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
If you've got an egg or a pet peeve.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yeah, let us know, send us in to fullygrownhomo's
podcast on our socials.
It's probably the easiest wayhit us up via our socials.
I'm sure that plenty of ourlisteners have got icks, oh for
sure, or pet peeves and the moreobscure ones the better.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yeah, really obscure ones If it's something strange,
like yeah yeah, it's somethingstrange.
Speaker 1 (53:07):
Like you know, somebody didn't cut their
fingernails while they werefisting you or something like
that.
You might think this was avideo content.
You should have seen Dave'sface then but, yeah, hit us up
with your icks or your petpeeves or any topics that you'd
like us to cover off.
Yeah, we hope you've enjoyedthis session and we'll talk soon
(53:30):
.
I'm Bean Matt.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
I'm Bean, dave, and we both love each other and we
love you all.
And, yeah, have a great day.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
See you next time.
Bye, that's a wrap from us.
We've been your fully grownhomos and we look forward to
opening your mind, your ears,your ears and your curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
podcast with your curiousfriends.
You can contact us onfullygrownhomospodcast at
gmailcom or any of our socials.
(53:56):
Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Bye.
Welcome to Fully Grown Homos, a podcast about our
adventures as fully grown homosnavigating today's world full
of inquisitive friends,questions about gay life and the
unexplored activities of a lifelived as fully grown homos.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
We'll discuss the gay 101s, sex sexuality and topics
we don't even know yet, as wewant your input into what you
want to hear.
Nothing is off limits, so emailus on the Fully Grown Homos
podcast at gmailcom or messageany of our socials.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Fully Grown Homos with Dave and Matt On this
(01:00):
week's episode.
We're going to chat about somestuff About stuff and things.
And're going to chat about somestuff About stuff and things,
and lots of things, Things andstuff.
But before we jump into that,what's your week been doing,
Dave?
How's your week been?
My week's?
Speaker 2 (01:13):
been cleaning your house.
Man, I'm moving your house ithas.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It has Dave's been so ridiculously helpful.
I cannot repay him.
Ever in as many lifetimes as wehave.
It's just um, yeah, like thegratitude I feel is just crazy.
Um, he's moved pretty much mywhole house while I've been at
(01:38):
work and um been cleaned mywhole house while I've been at
work and didn't really have todo anything as far as cleaning
my old place, because Dave'spretty much done all of it and
all I had to do was go andre-clean a couple of windows on
the mirror wardrobes justbecause I was licking them too
(01:58):
much, because he came all overthem, no, because he just didn't
have the right tools to do thejob.
So I went over with some windowwipes and did that, and the
whole place was spotless, andnow you got rid of it.
Yeah, and now I've got the keysback today and then I've just
realised that the real estateasked me did I have a remote
control garage door key thing?
And I didn't think I did.
(02:19):
But when I was cleaning throughall my shit and emptying some
of my boxes, I realised that thebrand garage door what I was
looking at today was the sameremote that I have here.
So I do have to send it backover to them as well, no worries
.
Yeah, it's on my desk, but itdoesn't work.
The garage door never fuckinghas worked, but at least that
way they've got their remote,because it will be on the key
(02:40):
register.
Yeah, that's right.
So we do have to do that, I dohave to do that, but, um, but
yeah.
So what else have you beendoing this week?
You're talking.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
A bit of painting at your house.
Yeah, I've been waiting to getthe thing.
The weather's been a bit shit,hasn't it you?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
know yep cold yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
So you know, for me you've just done bits and pieces
in the house, cleaned up alittle bit of mess that was in
there, trying to make it a bitmore navigatable because there's
so much fucking paint and stuffboxes still everywhere and just
trying to set rooms up, as youknow.
Yeah, but it's getting there.
And today I did a little bitabout outdoor painting, which is
good.
I liked it.
I mean, when I'm in the moodand I'm in the zone, I'm happy
(03:16):
doing it, yeah.
But when I'm there for hoursand hours and hours and it's
just repetitive and repetitiveand you're like fucking hell,
this is doing my head and Idon't want to do this anymore
well, I would not be good at it,because I just don't do
painting.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
It's just not something I do.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I'm not, oh, look, I mean, it can be they, it can be
therapeutic, but for me, the thegrace of it all, the saving
grace, was listening to oursongs that we've been creating
oh yeah, we've been on a journey, okay.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Our songs we've been creating.
Okay, if we go on a ratio oflike 20 to 1, then we can call
it ours.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
I guess Dave has a little bit more time up his
sleeve, like when I wake up at 2o'clock in the morning and I'm
like trying to get out of sleep.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, so he creates some AI songs on Suno.
He does a lot of the words andstuff like that and a lot of the
prompts are his, and then hesits there and fine tunes them a
bit and that.
So they are actually our songsand we're going to try and put a
lot more out there but this Imean I tend to but we've got,
we've already got a few out sothey cover every aspect.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
Yeah, yeah well, yeah , there's already a few that
we've released already by thebeach boys last week, by the
passing of um the last beach boy.
Yeah, no, it wasn't the lastone.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
No, he wasn't the Last Beach Boy.
Well, he was the Last One,wasn't he?
No, he wasn't the Last One.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
A couple of some are live, but he was the main one.
I must be thinking Bee Geesyeah.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Bee Gees so confused.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
You get confused easily.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah, comment that one.
Yeah so for me.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I was inspired by that.
It came out quite.
It sounded very similar to them, didn't it you?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
said to me it was like wow, yeah, but we do have
some songs that we alreadypreviously released on Spotify.
On iTunes, if you just type inFully Grown Homos, you'll
actually find our music thatwe've created.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
And we'll be putting a lot more on there, because
we've got like 1,000 songs.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
After today's podcast , we're going to sit there and
we're going to go through andcreate some lists and publish.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
There's some funky ones on there, isn't there?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
And some download and actually upload some more,
because I've got the license.
So I might as well fucking useit Absolutely and pump the world
full of our creations, yeah,like we do in the saunas, yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Or should I say church.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
Well, not last week, we didn't't, but hey, we already
talked about that on the lastepisode that I'm yet to upload.
I'll do that today as well,hopefully, hopefully, um,
otherwise I can show dave how Iedit.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Um, you can show me, you can actually show me your
laptop and show me how to do theother bits and pieces.
I can show you how to do.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
It'll be a learning curve for me dave's gonna have
dave's gonna have a school day.
I am, am, but yeah so yeah, somoved in set up I'd say 70%.
So far You've done well, you'vedone very well.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
You've done well, but you've done more unpacking.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Yeah, I've done more unpacking but 70% there.
Like, we've now got the podcastroom kind of set for the most
part.
There's still a little bit ofwork to do before we have some
friends over to um to jump in onthis podcast um, and we're
almost ready.
We've got another podcaster,that's he's due to have.
(06:13):
He's actually released anyminute now if he hasn't already.
I've been shit because I'vebeen so busy.
Yeah, well, we have been busyyeah even with work as well.
Yep, um.
So, danny boy, I'm not surewhether we've actually got
dropped his first episode yet ornot, but he's another guy that
we want to jump on.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
We'll touch base with him, we'll send him an email or
a message.
Yeah, a chat, instagram chat,just to see what's going on.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah, because I want to jump on his show as well, and
vice versa as well, because hesounds like a fun character and
does some fun stuff, and he'sgiven us a couple of ideas for
us to do on ours that we'regoing to do later in this
episode as well.
Pet Peeves just a little teaserthere.
We've got some Boy, do we havesome Many?
But for the crux, for themajority of today's episode, we
(06:59):
spoke to you last week about howwe went and seen, went to a
book signing by rob goddard um,behind the smile, his recent
book that he's actuallydownloaded, yep, um.
So for we, neither of us haveread it yet, not yet, but we've
looked into.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
We browsed over.
I've looked through parts of it, but not I don't read and I'm
waiting for the audiobook.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
We know that, but we have actually looked at the
title page and I guess and it'sgiven us some inspiration,
hasn't it?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
for today's podcast, yeah, given us a bit of bit of
something to look at so the bookitself is called behind the
smile and it talks about themasks that we wear as a self
journey that rob has writtenabout his home life and his own
mask that he wore.
Yeah, but looking at thecontent and the the narrative of
it all, we've decided thatwe'll do today's podcast based
(07:46):
on other masks that we have.
Yeah, um, very similar to whatrob has done, but we all have
masks, every single person, youknow, I mean we definitely do
and I think hysterical.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
What's that?
Um guess?
Who just posted in our housegroup?
Oh okay, literally withinseconds of us jumping was it
britney?
yep, it certainly was um no, no,I'm not, I'm not doing now, um,
but um, before we jump intowhat we're talking about for the
most part, I want to, justbecause I you told me about this
(08:18):
website that rob actually ownsand runs, so it's called lifting
stones and it's it's a mindsetcoaching website that he
actually runs and it's basicallywhat he does for a living right
, um, and there's somephenomenal content on here, so,
like it, like I went just tohave a quick look at it and
(08:40):
stuff like that, and and I wentto some of the courses and
things like that that heactually offers now and to the
library and that and that, andhe does things on here and I
think it's ridiculously wellpriced as well so some of the
resources that he's actuallycreated on here, like the um
unlocking resilience.
(09:00):
So a lot of it's meant a guidefor men navigating life's
challenges in their prime right.
Um, that's 10 bucks, I knowit's it's really accessible.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
But I just think that rob as a person is so genuine.
He's such a very well-roundedperson.
He's been through a lot in hislife and you know the book will
explain all that to you know, ifpeople get a chance to read it,
which I suggest.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Apart from that, I just think the pricing, because
you do, look, I love self-help,yep Right.
I like all that guru stuff andI go through stages where I'm
really, really into it and thenstages where I'm not so into it
and that.
But like the five steps ofnavigating grief right, which is
(09:49):
a whole series that he's got,like that you can actually
download and listen and watch,and all that kind of stuff, but
it's $5.
I know, right, what can you getfor $5?
You can't even get a coffee.
You can't, no, exactly.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
So this is like life-changing for people.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
So this is stuff that actually is really good.
So head over to his website,liftingstonescomau.
He also does like a series ofpersonal coaching in that as
well.
He mainly does it for men, um,but I'm sure if you're a female
he would knock you back as aclient he had people at the book
signing that.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah, he did have females there and they have done
his courses, so I know that hedoes put out there for everybody
yeah, correct, but he obviously, being a gay guy, he puts
himself out there towards men'smental health because he can
adapt more to that.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, correct, but inretrospect it's for everybody,
you know.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Yeah, but he's kind of awesome, he is definitely, so
he's really awesome.
Definitely support him in termsof like looking at Biden's book
or rolling in the coursesbecause I can't well, it's not
even about supporting him, it'sabout following yourself on on
his social media, on instagram,facebook.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
He's on all of those as well, yeah, but he's so
engaging, but he does have that,that presence that you feel
very calm and very um, we'refans we know that.
Definitely fan girls,definitely fan girls.
I got a fan badge.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, yeah, you do, I follow him dave's been
following him for years, butyeah, so today, like I said, the
main part of this is going tobasically be inspired by.
We're not going to take hismasks and sort of sell them off
as our own.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
No, we've just sort of had a look at some of his.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
This is just an inspiration, and we wondered
what mask do we wear frequently?
And so, I guess, in the stateof being very vulnerable and
transparent, we always giveourself.
Yep, well, we'll discuss that,actually, but we do give
(11:41):
ourselves a lot of ourselves, um, but we do give ourselves a lot
of ourselves.
Um, so, for myself, like what?
I?
The mask of control.
Um, now, I always need to be incontrol.
I need to feel secure, right.
So, whether it's with if, if,it's little things like me
having to drive somewhere rightnow, people will often say I'll
(12:06):
drive and I'll go.
No, no, it's okay, I'll driveand it's a way of me keeping
control of myself and mysituation.
Yeah, um, it's a way of mebeing secure and it's enabling
me to feel secure in thesituation where I am but it's
not a threatening control.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
It's not controlling other people.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
No, it's about me maintaining control of me and my
surroundings for me, because,again, wanting to stay safe,
wanting to make sure that Iguess I feel protected, because
I guess when it's come from,look, I haven't always felt safe
(12:48):
.
So I think, especially as ayounger guy growing up, and
especially growing up in MountDruitt, like the rough part of
where I was definitely didn'tfeel safe.
Right now, I think having, if Iwas to go to a psychologist,
fuck, they've got some work, ora psychiatrist fuck, they've got
(13:11):
some work to do.
But I think being in controlpretty much at all times and if
there is a time when I'm not incontrol, I don't deal well.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
No, I've seen that.
You've seen it yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
I don't deal well, like there's a few people've
seen that, you've seen it.
Yeah, I don't deal with likethere's a few people, very few
people that have seen it,because I try very hard to make
sure I'm never in thosesituations.
Um, so, yeah, I think the maskof control for me is a big one
that I wear and that, but butwith masks I guess they can come
(13:50):
and go.
You can take them off and putthem back on again, but they
serve you they potentially serveyou and and they are my safety,
like I, I use especially thecontrol one as a safety
mechanism for me.
Yeah, um, like I'm not going todrop that control at any time
soon.
No, and I don't need to.
I'm aware it's there, right,yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
I know you are, you know I, I can tell when you're
stressing about things and thecontrol mask comes back up again
yeah, yeah, but that's fine butI've learned to accept that
myself because at the end of theday, I know it's part of who
you are.
Yeah, correct, and that'simportant, because at the end of
the day, it's just who you are.
Yeah but it gives you thatprotection you need?
Yeah, and in situations.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Certain situations it goes right up and there's like
impenetrable, right, but othersituations it's sort of okay,
I'm a bit more free with this,this, this, this and this and I
guess it depends on the who'saround, the trust level that I
have for the people that arewith me.
Yeah, um, and for the thing is,it's not like you don't you?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
you don't?
You're not scared about people,other people taking control or
taking charge of certain things.
It's the fact that when youfeel threatened or you feel
vulnerable, that's when yourcontrol levels are increased and
your mask comes back on to play.
You know?
So, um, you know, I get it.
You know, I totally understand.
I mean, like, if you go intodoing something that you're not
(15:13):
familiar with, then obviouslyyou're not going to be able to
have control because it'ssomething that you haven't got.
That point, but you'll comeback and you'll start stressing
about it.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
No, I take tiny steps until I can get control.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, or usually I don't take tiny steps, I take
huge steps and maybe this is whyyour persona of like I'm
perfect not perfect, but youknow I'm right always comes from
maybe Only because I'm alwayscorrect, but you're not always.
I am not, but that is down tocontrol.
Again, you know what I mean.
Control, yeah, yeah, yeah,definitely, definitely.
(15:45):
But we have a laugh about thatbecause it's not like you're not
that sort of person.
No, I don't need to always becorrect God knows that would be
funny, but it's just a fun thing.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
You say yeah, I'm always right, though, Until I'm
proven that I'm not, and that'susually in an intellectual
status, but then you still tryand prove the way that you are.
Yeah, yeah, I try and provethat you were wrong instead of
me being right, because thatautomatically makes me right.
Or two hours later you'll comeout and say you see, I told you
(16:13):
I was right.
Yeah, I told you I was right.
I told you I was correct, butyeah there was one time.
I wasn't right, I wasn't correctand I was incorrect about that
time.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
But yeah.
So what have you got down asyour first one?
My first one I've got down isthe mask of suppression.
Now, I have that down to thefact that my early life, so
you've worn this for a long time.
I've worn it for a long time,but I don't wear it so much now.
Suppression is not necessary.
No, I don't.
I mean I can have moments,situations, yeah, situations.
System no, I don't.
I mean I I can have moments,situations, yeah, situations.
(16:50):
But suppression for me camefrom concealing myself as a
young person because I didn'tfeel comfortable with myself.
I suppose.
Well, I think, all gay men yeah, exactly, well, anybody you
don't have to be gay to havesuppression.
You can be suppressed in otherways, such as you know, you can
be forced by your parents to dosomething you don't want to do,
(17:12):
yeah, such as learn a musicalinstrument or become a
professional, something that youdon't want to do, but you're
living through their eyes, ifthat makes sense.
Yeah, so that's a form ofsuppression, but for me, the
suppressions, I think, came notbecause I was suppressed for my
family, my mom and dad, or myfamily, it was just society that
put a lot of pressure on me tobecome inwards, on myself, to
live a life that conformed towhat they wanted, if that makes
(17:36):
sense, yep, yep.
And that went through all theway through my teenage years,
all the way through to myadulthood, where I was in the
military.
And again it became even morecompounded when I was in the
military because it was soagainst the law, it was so
illegal to be gay or havethoughts or anything like that,
and I saw people being thrownout and go to jail for it.
(17:58):
You know, I mean, and it wasjust so morally wrong.
So you know, my, my guard wasup there.
Look at, I had choices.
I didn't have to join themilitary.
But again, it was a career paththat I wanted to go down.
So I don't regret doing that.
But again, wearing that mask ofsuppression for me was part of
who I became.
And it wasn't until I came out,until I came out as a gay man
(18:21):
to myself properly and then cameout to my family members, that
that mask of suppression sort oflike slipped down a little bit.
It's still there because, likeI've told you before, I haven't
told everybody and I don't needto tell everybody and this is
where what you're probablysaying is, when it comes back
into play, is when I feel alittle bit threatened by people
around me that I don'tnecessarily want to tell because
(18:42):
I don't want to go through thewhole path of opening up and,
you know, having to justify whoI am to anybody, um, anymore, if
that makes sense it's likecoming out, again, coming out
again, coming again, comingagain.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
I don't need to do that and we had this
conversation earlier today aboutcoming out repeatedly and I
think we've spoken about it anumber of times on different
podcasts, different sessions howwe have to come out
continuously.
Yep, right, um, and I guesspeople from your past life that
you do see after maybe 10, 20years, yeah, and that's when
(19:13):
your postures come out.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Well, this is where you saw this come out recently,
because I had a friend from theUK that was over here for six
months and I caught up with hima couple of times prior to him
going back Very good friend ofmine.
Again, he's not homophobic,he's not anyone that will judge
anybody.
He's a very decent person.
But I was just.
I didn't know if he knewbecause I've never told him, but
(19:37):
I'm sure that he might knowfrom other people that know.
If that makes sense, yeah,because I found out that a lot
of people have found out aboutme through talking, talking,
talking and gossip exactly,which is fine because at the end
of the day, it saves me havingto do it, you know that makes
sense.
Yeah, and I'm not scared orfrightened or or embarrassed by
(19:58):
anything, but what I'm saying isif they know, that's fine, they
don't need to bring it up infront of me.
Or if they ask me, I won't denyit.
But I don't need to say oh, bythe way, matt or Mark or whoever
it might be.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
I'm a gay man.
Okay, you're Dave, right, andyou just happen to be gay.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Yeah, exactly, and that's what I'm saying.
It's not.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
I'm gay and, by the way, I happen to be Dave.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
But, as we know, we don't go out there and publicize
our sexuality because we don'tneed to, because we just who we
are.
Speaker 1 (20:26):
But this is the thing .
It's not my.
If people were to say, can youlist matt's five personality
traits, and then I'd have putgay up the top of the list, I'd
be kind of offended me too.
Yeah right, because I'd like tothink that.
It is like I'd like to thinkthat if they're loving yeah
compassionate um can't um caring, loving, yeah, compassionate,
(20:54):
um yeah, can't um womanizer, no,yeah, even though women do love
you.
Crotch watcher, um yeah, womenlove you crotch watcher.
Though I better, I better befucking people pleaser, people
pleaser oh, fuck off, I am not.
Sometimes I am um.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
But you know, it's just one of those things.
So for me, the act ofsuppression um yeah, and I guess
there is suppression again.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Suppression is similar to that control thing
where it's um keeping yourselfsafe yeah as well, I guess, in
situations because, again, I'm,I'm, and I guess one of the
other ones I spoke about was um,masculinity, the mask of
masculinity that I constantlywear in certain situations, like
if we're in a new environmentwhere I don't know anyone, and
(21:36):
things like that I'm notcomfortable in everything, like
I'm not giving my whole self atthat point in time.
Right, I'm not about to sitthere and start talking about
drag race, which I findextremely entertaining and fun,
right, and we'll talk toeveryone about um, but I'm not
about to drop that in the localpub yeah right, we're going to
(21:59):
go down for dinner to the pubtonight.
I'm not about to sit there andchat with a bar mate about a
drag race, no, and who's, unlessthey bring it up and obviously
start, but it's just not whatI'm going to do.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
So I think is that it's um, but even as we've
discussed earlier today as well,it's about feeling inwardly on
yourself because you can'texpress yourself, because you
know, like I know, it's normaland legal for people to go and
hold hands and show emotion andstuff like that.
Yeah but, we're not that sortof people I'm not a pda kind of
guy.
No, we don't need to do that.
(22:31):
I mean in public, in private isdifferent, you know.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
I mean, yeah, public, you don't need to have public
we hug other people we yeah,yeah, yeah, I'll hug and I'll
squeeze and I'll especially Ilike all the boys, like I'll get
.
I'll give them a cheeky asssqueeze as.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
But we don't need to go walking up the street holding
hands kissing.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
But I'm not the kind of guy and never will be.
Never have been the kind of guyto want to hold my partner's
hand walking down the street toshow everyone how much I love
them.
Yeah, it's just oh.
Oh, we're going to talk abouticks and that later, and that is
definitely one of mine.
I fucking hate it.
(23:13):
I'd hate people anyway.
Affection it's disgusting, butit's gross.
Love is filthy.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Love makes me vomit but you went to see him in the
bedroom.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Then he's wild that's a different story.
That's not love, that's calledlust.
Is that right?
Yeah, you should know, you'vebeen on the receiving end.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
Many times, yeah, many times.
It's very true.
Speaker 1 (23:27):
True, and the receiving end as well.
Yeah, but yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
See, I've got another one here.
Again, it relates to the samething a mask of acceptance.
Again.
I mean, you know, we talk aboutaccepting each other, accepting
what we do and what we believeis right.
So I guess self-acceptance,self-acceptance is a big one,
yeah, yeah, definitely.
I mean, I think, once you've,once you've learned to master
(23:53):
the art of self self-acceptanceyeah, have you not really?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
you know this is the thing, isn't it?
Because otherwise right and Iguess um acceptance slash
approval is similar, all right.
In in a similar vein Yep, andone of mine is the mask of
approval, yep, and it's sort ofsimilar and it's like we both
say I don't give a fuck whatpeople think about me.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Oh, we don't genuinely and I genuinely don't
care.
Speaker 1 (24:19):
What somebody thinks of me is not my business.
Exactly what somebody saysabout me, I don't care less.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
And we've had that.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
However, I still do seek approval in certain
situations.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
I get, I get offended in myself.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, which is really pisses myself off.
Yeah, more than else, and don'task me how we get past it well,
I think I have the same nature.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well thing is, I have the same emotions as what you
do.
I, I, I dwell on it, thinkingyou know why do people have to
bring this up?
Or why do people have to judgeme?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
But if I take it just to my work, for example, right
now, without going into thedetails of where I work, those
that know know, but I started ina new place recently, right,
and there were certain thingsthat weren't meeting my boss's
criteria, as in your boss, myboss, Right?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
yeah because you are a boss.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
And I'm the boss in my store, but then I've got a
boss, and then he's got a boss,and he's got a boss, and so on
and so forth.
That's how the chain works.
Hierarchy works, but theyweren't meeting his criteria,
they definitely weren't meetingmine.
But In order to make sure thatwhen he came in the next visit,
(25:29):
which happened like two weeksafter the first visit, there
were certain things that Iwanted to do to make sure that
that visit, that second visit,was one that would blow his mind
and blow him out of the water.
Now, it was for a number ofreasons.
It was, yes, because I thoughtif that second visit is
(25:51):
spectacular and he can see thatI'm making headway and I've done
a lot, you can relax a bit more, I can breathe a bit.
Right, he's going to say, oh,he hasn't done nothing in two
weeks.
Right, he's actually done someactions.
But it was also really to gethis approval like also, you need
(26:11):
to get it done well, well, okay, and for again.
I recently took a stint out ofmy role into a new role where I
didn't achieve anything and Ifelt like a failure yeah, and
again that's time to accept.
I felt like a failure becausethere were things I was doing
that I just couldn't do right.
So by getting this done to thestandard that it got done and by
(26:36):
getting him to come in and go,this is better than I expected.
This is amazing.
You've done sensational hereright.
It was kind of like ah, I gotapproval from my dad almost
which we all crave.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
You have to suffer whole in life Suffer approval.
Ah, I got approval from my dadalmost, which we all crave our
whole life Self-approval, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
So that sort of reaffirmed who you are it?
Reaffirmed that I'm good atwhat I do.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah, exactly, all right.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Because I knew I was.
But it was really good to feellike there was some
justification in me thinkingthis is what it should be.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
And that's the same thing when you get praise.
I hate praise, I hate praise,full stop.
I don't like it.
I mean even though.
I know, I'm just I don't likeit either, I know, but it gives
you that sense of like okay, Iknow I'm doing the right thing.
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Or I appreciate what they doand I or I appreciate what they
do.
I always appreciate it, but Ihate it.
I hate being praised.
To me, it's just like oh, Idon't need to be told that.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Yeah, if you're told Dave, he's actually good looking
, he sits there and he tries toargue with you and go you can
fucking listen to me, but that'sin the eye of the person no no,
no, and you're doing it rightnow.
I know because you can't justcop it on the chin that just
deal with it you are shut up,bitch um, or I'll stick
(27:53):
something in your mouth again.
We'll do a live podcast sexlive sex on the podcast.
You're probably already havingthe 700 that you've got.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
Um so, um yeah so, so that that's pretty much the
acceptance.
I think I've got one more,which is the mask of shame, and
again, I think shame issomething that we all have at
some point in our life yeah andI don't know exactly how to
describe it for me.
Um, even though I know I feelshamed sometimes about you know
(28:30):
like it's about what hit me witha, with a.
The shame is, I feel like I'veI've disrespected my ex-wife
yeah, by being closeted all thattime and basically, um, going
along with the whole narrativeof being this straight person
which I acted and I was.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
You were.
You didn't act it.
You were yeah, you werewholeheartedly yeah, I was, I
embraced myself into it, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
I mean, even though I was suppressing myself, going
back to that suppression side ofthings, but I never cheated,
never did anything wrong bymyself.
But again, I felt guilt.
I felt shame about that, hidingmy, my identity to her.
You know, when I finally cameout and she was like fully
acceptance of me, I felt shameinside of me for deceiving her,
(29:17):
if that makes sense yeah, but atthe same time I don't look.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
And I know your ex-wife, I know your son, yep
right.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
So the thing is that neither of them hold any
resentment towards no, I knowbecause you didn't half-ass that
marriage you didn't half-assand I'm not new, I'm not unique
in this at all.
There's many, many guys outthere, and women as well, but I
don't think it's it's something.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
And again, here's me armchair psychologist.
Yeah, I don't think it'ssomething that you should be
shameful for, because you didn'tactually.
You weren't, you were hidingfrom you.
If anyone that should be, youshould be asking forgiveness of
it's yourself.
Yeah, right, and this is havingfor carrying the shame about
(30:03):
that because, yeah, you weren'tdeceitful to your wife.
You were the father, you werethe husband, you were the there,
you were doing your duties.
Speaker 2 (30:14):
But you find yourself internally fighting yourself.
So you know the faces of shamecan be things like withdrawal.
You can withdraw from peopleand I've done that many times.
I've withdrawn from people.
I don't correspond with peopleand I'm a very big social person
.
You know right, no way.
and I will talk, and talk, andtalk and no way when I was on
back in the day, when I was ongrinder and scruff and all the
(30:36):
other apps, and I haven't beenon them for four years, as you
know, um, even though I stillsubscribe, yeah he still pays
his subscription fees.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
I don't even fucking pay a subscription.
Maybe one day I'm on it.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Maybe one day I'll get back on them again, but who
knows?
Speaker 1 (30:48):
We know all the Steve's are waiting.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
I found that I was just talking to people.
But I was spending so much timejust talking, yeah, but that's
all anyone does, I know.
But what I'm saying is I wasbasically talk, talk, talk.
So when I got off those, I kindof withdrew away from a lot of
my friends as well as in, like Ididn't correspond with them as
much, and I have done that witha few friends, as you know.
Yeah, it's not the fact that Idon't care about them, I don't
(31:10):
want to talk, it's just I findthat I'm overwhelmed with the
amount of people I'm talking toall the time you can't handle
more than two conversations Iknow, but it's just.
It's just for me.
I don't want them to feel thatI'm ignoring them or dissing
them, because I still care aboutthem and I will be in contact
with them.
But my frequency of likechatting with them has gone from
like 100% down to zero, most ofthe time no no.
(31:32):
I know, but what I'm saying isthat's part of my withdrawal
right.
I don't know why, I just don'tknow.
Well, you need yeah, so I'maware of it and I know that
Another one is self-attack.
People self-attack themselvesbecause they feel sh ashamed of
doing something like you knowI'm.
I'm ashamed about being gay,but I'm not really myself, I'm
happy, I'm embraced in myself,but other people might be
(31:55):
ashamed of it.
You know I mean, especiallywhen it comes to social and
cultural, religion, religious orethnicity.
You know I mean it could bethem withdrawing into themselves
or attacking themselves becausethey don't want to be part of
that group.
I don't know.
Yeah, avoidance and attackingothers.
You find that you?
Speaker 1 (32:14):
yeah, when, when you're ashamed of a trait yeah,
um, for example, back on someoneyou always point pinpoint
someone else, like if you're, ifyou're cheating on your partner
, it's usually the person that'scheating that sits there and
says you're cheating on me totheir partner non-stop, um, or I
don't know if I can trust youanymore, because I think you're
(32:34):
doing this, I think you're doingthis, and then you find out
retrospectively that they're theone doing it all.
Yeah, yeah, so I get that.
What have you got another?
Speaker 2 (32:42):
one there.
No, I've, I've gone through allmy space because I know this is
very important for me.
Going back to the suppressionand acceptance, I think more so
the suppression, given myhistory of my injury now for a
long time, and this stillaffects me even now.
I get very wound up and veryfrustrated when it comes to
(33:04):
insurance companies more thananything, and I never used to be
like that, I never used to beangry.
But I find myself that mytemper is very short these days
and it has been for a long time,and you've seen that, you've
seen that evident quite a lot ofthe time all you do is dangle
your son in front of you.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Yeah, zero to 150.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Not that I don't care or love about him, just the
fact that you know I just can'tdeal with some of the things and
it just makes me angry andfrustrated inside.
So the frustration and all thatlies back to my injury.
When I had the injury, I lostmy job, went through 11 years of
being controlled by insurancecompanies, that's medically,
physically, emotionally, and Ijust felt suppressed, so
(33:42):
suppressed it was unbelievable.
Okay, and this is again.
I mean for me.
It changed my identity so muchto who I am now in a bad way,
because I never used to be theangry, frustrated person I was.
I was very calm, very much moreable to deal with things when
it came my way.
So this is a result of thatcontrol on me, if that makes
(34:05):
sense yeah so again, I have thatmask where I'm in myself.
I can't remove that mask now.
I don't know how to remove it.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I wish I could be able to remove that frustration,
the anger from myself and goback to the person I was before,
if that makes sense yeah, butit also has brought you to the
person you are today yeah, I'mnot so it's not a bad thing yeah
well, we can take traits fromour past, because I don't want
(34:34):
to be the person I was before,because I was a gullible fuckwit
that believed that I hadn'tbeen cheated on.
Yeah, like the first time.
Then the second time, yeah, Isat there and I went.
So I won't be that gullibleidiot again, right?
Speaker 2 (34:45):
but if there's anything I would change about
myself, is would be more so theanger side of things.
If I could control, you canthrow that away.
I know.
You can choose, because angeris a choice because it's an
emotion, it's a coping mechanismfor me now.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
No, it's an emotion, right, and we get to choose our
emotions.
That's actually an adult thingthat we actually do get to
choose our emotions.
And whether we put a mask onnow in in one of the roles I was
at previously, right, I had toturn up to work 100 happy in
that role because I had to coachother people and mentor other
(35:20):
people and develop other people,so I had to turn up happy, and
it's not possible to be happyall the time and be, yeah, this
is fun, this is amazing.
How are we all today?
You know, yeah, it's notpossible, right, but you can
turn it on, you can hold thatmask up for a little while and
eventually you're in that mood.
(35:41):
Yeah, it stays on.
Right, you're, it stays on.
So, when you say anger andfrustration, right, right, you
can sit there and go all right.
Well, I'm choosing not to beangry, I'm choosing not to be
frustrated over this, becausethis is just a situation, right,
and this situation is going topass, right.
So therefore and I know it willpass because it's passed before
(36:03):
there's history that tells youthat it will pass because it's
passed before, right, so you cansit there and go all right.
Well, I'm actually going tochoose not to be angry.
I'm just going to push thataside for the minute.
We're going to choose somethingelse.
Speaker 2 (36:14):
But for me, I wish I didn't have that trait anymore.
I really do, because I knowit's part of who I am, but it's
a trait that I don't enjoy.
It's a trait I don't like.
I mean, when I get angry veryquickly, I, in my, in my head,
in my head, I start feeling veryoverwhelmed and really anxious
about what I've done.
I mean, I'm never nasty orvindictive or horrible to people
(36:36):
.
No, I go off on like a one tohundred in 10 seconds.
You know, I mean, and I don'tthink about everything
realistically like I used to.
I was very logically thinking,you know, before I'd overreact.
Yeah, that's true, I'm morevulnerable to cranky old man.
Speaker 1 (36:53):
Yeah, absolutely, you're probably right, 100%.
A cranky old man.
Yeah, cranky cunt, a cc you are, so it's, um, so it's, it's
okay.
You're allowed to get cranky atthings.
Speaker 2 (37:03):
You're allowed to get frustrated at things as well,
so yeah, um, I'll learn toaccept it, but if I could get
rid of it, I would.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
Well, there's a really easy way To a
psychologist no, no, no, no, no,no.
You just need a post-it note, apad, and I'd say get a really
fucking big pad for you, Like apanty pad when you're feeling a
certain way you write that wordonto a post-it note.
(37:30):
Then you pick it up, you scrunchit up and then you throw it in
the bin.
Not put it on my forehead andlook at the mirror.
No well, you can play celebrityif you want.
I prove myself.
You just can imagine how am Igoing to put it on today.
Just fucking put cunt writtenall over your head celebrity.
But yes, you can actuallyscrunch it up and throw it into
the bin and that emotion hasactually gone in the bin for the
day then as well.
That's a tip for everyone outthere, from Matt the Guru there
(37:53):
you go.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
You'll be starting a new camp soon, won't you?
I'm going to fucking start myown.
Speaker 1 (37:56):
He'll go from yoga to no, my yoga camp is happening
all right.
It's a pity that you didn't winthe $100 million.
Speaker 2 (38:03):
Some fucker didn't let me win $100 million Somebody
from the eastern suburbs of allplaces, hey, which is a very
affluent area.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
They didn't need to win that.
I needed to win it desperatelyand it didn't happen.
It's probably someone famous.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
now look, could you imagine it?
Yeah bloody probably Kyle.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Well, if it is good luck to him, he's a good guy.
Do you think he is a good guy?
But he doesn't need another$100 million.
Another hundred million.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
He's already got hundreds of millions.
Oh look, the thing is, I knowright, but he's just all
self-made anyway, yeah correct,correct.
But I'd like to be self-made byLotto.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
That's very true.
Yeah, yeah, all right, so let'sjump on.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
Yeah, so that was basically our main conversation.
Speaker 1 (38:41):
And no doubt once we actually read the book, or once
Dave reads the book and I get tolisten to the book, might even
read a couple of chapters hereand there.
Who knows, who knows, you'vegot time now.
I've got fucking no time.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
I've still got house 60.
On your way to work you have inthe mornings yeah, but I'm not
reading on a train.
Well, you should do no that'snot going to happen.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I'm busy watching Netflix or something, or
catching up with Drag to 550,000songs that Dave's made from the
night before.
But, yeah, but introducing anew segment, yep, because at the
end of the day we struggled alittle bit.
Dave was going through his head.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
I was getting frustrated with it.
Because he was gettingfrustrated because he couldn't
find the words, because certainletters didn't have words,
didn't have words, well, theyweren't meeting enough.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
And I was like, yeah, he was trying to invent a new
segment.
Stop pulling that cord.
It's not a fucking bookmark.
Hey, shut up.
It's a head to your earphonesand you won't be able to hear.
That's right.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
You won't be able to hear either.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Anyway, our new segment and wow, that was really
timely.
It's pet peeves, slash icks,all right.
So what is an ick?
All right, let me just letgoogle tell you exactly what an
ick is, because I dictionarythis right and it says it's an
(40:01):
ick is an unpleasant sticky?
Oh no.
Or congenital substance, no,that's Okay.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
An ick is used to express disgust right, you say
that with a big disgust.
Speaker 1 (40:14):
Disgust right.
It says here that ick is a termused in dating to refer to a
sudden feeling of disgust orrepulsion to a dating partner.
Somebody was exhibiting right,but it can also be like a pet
peeve or an ick sort of thing.
So we're going to go with that,because I think my list is
infinite.
(40:35):
Oh, I could go on for hours.
I know, and that's what I'mafraid of, that we will, so I've
limited us to two today.
Two, two.
I can't do two.
You can do two.
Well, my two might go to four.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Bank them.
Bank Two, two.
I can't do two, you can do two.
Well, my two might go to four.
Bank them.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Bank them.
I can't bank things.
You know that you can bank icsand pet peeves.
All right, you're going tostart.
Then what's your first ick orpet peeve, dave?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
My first ick is when people don't put deodorant on
and they walk past you and youcan just smell the body odor and
you can just smell the bodyodor.
Speaker 1 (41:06):
I can never smell it.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
I know you can't because I've been past many
people.
I said to Matt can you fuckingsmell them?
Speaker 1 (41:12):
Years and years of excessive drug use.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Look, my son's got a fucking you know, an odor
problem.
In terms of like you, know?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Yeah, it's usually from his plastic shoes, oh yeah,
feet or shoes.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
But he's, you know, he's probably not aware of it he
sweats a lot, so it's, it's ahormonal thing for him.
But what gets me is when peoplejust don't bother.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
you know, I mean you know, so I can smell bo.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
Yeah, bo is fucking.
I mean, we all have it so.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
So I guess, to relate to that, the part that I don't
like, and, and on the afternoonI catch sydney trains, all right
, so of a sydney train of anafternoon, I'm not unfamiliar
with the fragrance that Dave'stalking about.
Right, and it's usually maskedby some kind of Lynx Africa
(41:59):
spray, if you're lucky.
If you're lucky, yeah, allright.
However, the thing that I don'tlike, that really does ick me
on.
This particular ick is whenit's first thing of the morning
and it's a female and it's gross.
Then you sit there and you go.
(42:19):
You're supposed to be theneater, cleaner sex of the two
of us.
Why do you stink like youhaven't showered in a month and
a half and it's even worse whenyou're trapped next to them.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
They're sat right next to you.
Speaker 1 (42:31):
Yeah, and it usually is a public transport sort of
situation.
Like a walk by.
At least you can go.
Oh God, that's fucking gross.
And they can keep walking by.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
I reckon Sydney trains need to have like a
decontamination tube.
As you go in you have to walkthrough through it.
It decontaminates you.
It'd be great.
And then you go in and it's aventilated.
Um, it's a wonder they didn'tput that in covid.
Oh yeah, it should have done.
Yeah, could be ideas you cangive.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Yeah great idea, great idea, that's my first,
your first, is that all right?
So my first ick or first petpeeve?
More so is when I ask siri forsomething and she doesn't give
it to me, like I literally justasked her what an ick is right
and she told you everythingabout it.
(43:14):
She told me everything, but shetold me some numbers.
Is the number between sevenpreceding seven?
No, after seven and before nine?
And I'm sitting there going.
How is that even close?
I'm thinking you fucking stupidmoron bitch, like, like you're
supposed to be, ai, you'resupposed to be here to help and
(43:34):
I know that I speak with amumble or an aussie accent
sometimes, so I get that it'shard to understand me,
especially if you're a dumbrobot like siri and I'm
surprised she hasn't come on nowthat I've said her name three
times.
But if you're like an automated, ai-generated thing, learn the
(43:56):
language Like, fuck me, like it.
Just it grinds my gears because, look, I've had many a
conversation with her right,many a conversation and I use
her frequently because I'm astickler for the rules.
We know that.
So when I'm driving somewhere,I will often ask her to call
somebody or to do something, andoccasionally she will call the
(44:16):
wrong person and do the wrongthing.
But if I'm typing out a textmessage or voicing a text
message, I'd say 95% of the timeshe gets at least part of it
wrong and I look like a fuckingdirty creep.
Speaker 2 (44:30):
Google's 100% wrong all the time.
You know that.
But you speak with an Englishaccent, I know, but you know,
you see my auto-typing as it is,without fucking Google helping
it.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
That's not even voice automated, though I know Like
it's just.
It does it.
Just.
I think to myself how do youget it so wrong, like?
And I know that there'sthousands and thousands of cases
on the internet where peoplehave sort of said things and
she's got it wrong and it's sentit to her mum and something
like that, Like, but it's justlike it just it grinds my gears.
(45:01):
It really gets me.
So yeah, yeah, yeah, she's abitch and she's a stupid bitch
at times.
I remember that time.
No, actually that was funny,because we were driving
somewhere and I think I said yougot asked.
I said hey, google.
She piped up and went I'llpretend I didn't hear that.
(45:22):
And I thought oh, now youlisten to me, bitch.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
Correct yourself there, didn't you?
Speaker 1 (45:28):
Yeah, it was amusing, she probably felt threatened.
So she does actually provide mewith some amusement at times as
well, and if you want to getsome amusement from her I don't
know if she does it anymoreshe's taught to herself.
No, no, you can ask her what umone divided by one is.
Speaker 2 (45:45):
Oh yeah and she sits, or you get the one to go.
I say uh-huh no, no.
Speaker 1 (45:49):
If you ask what one divided by one is or something
like she said, she'll sit thereand says something about oh no,
zero divided by zero.
You gotta ask her and she sayssomething about you can't divide
zero by zero.
An example of this is that ifyou had zero friends and you're
divided by them zero cookiesyou're divided by zero.
An example of this is that ifyou had zero friends and you
divided by them zero cookies,you divided by zero friends, or
something like that.
You get zero cookies and I'msad that you got zero friends.
(46:13):
It's actually really, reallyentertaining.
Get out there and ask her whatzero divided by zero is.
Speaker 2 (46:18):
Ask her what.
Speaker 1 (46:19):
Ask her to rap as well.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
I'll fart.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Yeah, that's funny.
She does provide entertainment,so I do love her at times, but
I just wish she'd get mymessages right sometimes.
So that's your ick, all rightwhat's your second one, dave?
Speaker 2 (46:35):
My second one is motoring.
Again, it's when you've gotthese fucking idiots that put
their fucking car exhausts onfull.
You know what I mean, as inthey've got really loud exhausts
on full, you know I mean, as inthey got really loud really
loud exhaust and they're justfucking driving up there and
they're fucking revving theirengines and it just fucking gets
my fucking gears and I canconfirm yep, that dave goes
(46:56):
fucking bonkers.
Speaker 1 (46:57):
We talk about the um angry dave from zero to 110.
That's how you create it.
Speaker 2 (47:03):
I get road rage.
Any loud exhaust, I get fuckingroad rage Right.
Speaker 1 (47:06):
He goes, fucking idiots.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
I think it's any loud noise.
I think it's just when babiesstart crying and screaming.
Cranky old man, oh, I can'tdeal with it.
Noise is just too much.
Even playing on the pokey,sometimes I fuck up the machine
next to me it's fucking too loud, and I me it's fucking too loud
and I'm like, fuck off, it'sgot a volume you know, fuck off,
get this fucking noise out ofmy head.
Speaker 1 (47:28):
Leave me alone.
I've found some new plugs today.
Actually I was unpacking stuff,yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll give them
to your grandpa, okay?
Um well, that that's my next,anyway so yeah, that's your name
all those fucking noisy cuntsyeah, but yeah, but I and I get
it.
I do get it because I neverused to be like that.
There's no need for it though.
No, like, why add a noisy thingon your muffler?
(47:48):
Yeah, that's going to make itsound even noisier.
Yeah, like, dave has a love ofmotorbikes, especially the ones
that have the big, loud Harleys.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
Well, they fucking drive outside my house all the
time, other fucking trucks, thefucking and I'm like fuck off,
get out of my fucking head toofunny.
Speaker 1 (48:12):
So mine is also a traffic one.
Okay, all right, but it's thethank you, it's the polite thank
you.
Right, if I'm letting you in,oh yeah, I don't have to let
anyone in, right?
I've got a big fuck-off LDVU, Idon't have to let no one in.
But if I'm being polite and I'mletting you in a courtesy wave,
thank you would be polite andfriendly.
(48:33):
It just I do it and I usuallyI'm an over-waver.
I literally wave to the middle,I wave to the side.
I'm waiting for him toacknowledge that I've waved to
the middle.
I waved to the side.
I'm waiting for him toacknowledge that I waved to him.
Speaker 2 (48:48):
He's got his window down.
He's waving like the queen.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
I've got my arm out, popping my head out saying
thanks, buddy, Did you get that?
Speaker 2 (48:55):
Like.
You know what I mean.
Look at me, I'm so fuckinggreat.
Speaker 1 (48:58):
I literally am an over-waver, to make sure that
they know how appreciative I wasabout letting them in and even
when they pass you again, youwave I do I blow them a kiss.
I usually fucking transfer somecash into their account and
stuff like that.
Um no, I don't have their bsbas an account numbers, otherwise
I probably would um, but butlike I give them a bj as they
(49:20):
pull up at the lights.
Speaker 2 (49:22):
Hey, I'll do that for sure.
Speaker 1 (49:24):
But like it just gets me and it makes me angry and I
think, well, the rest of theworld's going to fucking suffer
now because I'm never lettinganyone in again.
Right, I want one more, and Ido, I do.
I let them in.
You can't bank it.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
No, you know who this is Okay.
Okay, you know who this is okay.
You know who this is this is aperson.
Speaker 1 (49:50):
Okay, this is not a.
This is not a.
Okay, all right, go go crankyold man.
Speaker 2 (49:56):
Go well the club.
We go to perry with panthers.
Yep, there's a guy that worksthere no name and shame can I?
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah, his name is dougie.
He's an old, cantankerous cunt.
And how tall is he?
About two feet three foot tall.
He'd be fucking short.
If I had a spade, I'd befucking digging him right under
the ground he has only got.
(50:17):
He is only gonna fucking lookat me and I fucking go off on
one he doesn't even have to lookat you, he just grinds my
fucking gears he's aninterfering little old twat that
fucking stands behind peoplewhen they're trying to do things
he's got short man syndrome.
Oh fucking hell to the nthdegree.
He's got.
He's got a phobia about fuckinghaving more than four chairs
(50:39):
together or three tablestogether, because he has a
fucking.
He has ocd um just a little bitto the max, but it's not just
me.
Russ can't stand it either.
No, no, no.
We all talk about, we all laugh, don't we?
But yeah, but it gets to me,but he really gets you, he gets
when we come in for the car park.
I can hear his fucking voice atthe top of the car park and I'm
walking down there thinking fuckyou before you get there, and I
(51:00):
just don't want to look at himI won't acknowledge you.
Speaker 1 (51:03):
But he also knows this now, because he just now,
because when I walk in now hejust says he just points at the
machine.
Thank you, sir.
Right, he's so polite becausehe knows that he's one step away
from us actually reporting him.
Right, because he's tried toused to try and touch our cards
and take our cards and swipe usin right and again.
(51:23):
No, no, I'm an adult and I hada swipe in right, it's a real.
Speaker 2 (51:27):
I've been going here every three times a week for the
last fucking two years.
You don't need to look at mypicture, it's on there.
Speaker 1 (51:31):
You know, but it's just like oh my God, but Dave,
he just has to look in Dave'sdirection, breathe in Dave's
direction, even if, even if it'snothing to do with Dave.
Speaker 2 (51:43):
I'll be watching him.
That's a problem.
I sit and I look at him andeverybody's talking to me.
We've told Dave so many times.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
Turn around and face the other way and he's going.
No, I won't change.
Speaker 2 (51:54):
But I'll be talking to people and then suddenly, out
of the corner of my eye, I'llsee him fucking doing something.
And then my eyes will be thereand they're all looking at me
going.
Speaker 1 (52:03):
Dave, stop it now relax leave him alone.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
It's funny as I just, I just want to fucking knock.
I don't want to kill him, but Ijust want to fucking yeah, you
kind of do.
Speaker 1 (52:10):
I just want him.
I just want him out of my life Idon't want him in my brain, you
don't want him near you don'twant him anywhere near me, but
yes, but it is um, it ishysterical to watch, um, to say
the very very least.
But, yeah, you've got to haveanother one now.
No, no, no, I'm okay, I canbank mine, are you sure?
Yeah, I've got thousands ofthem, but I can bank mine.
(52:32):
All right, but yeah, I thinkwe'll wrap up on that If you've
got a good egg that you like.
Speaker 2 (52:40):
If you've got an egg or a pet peeve.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
Yeah, let us know, send us in to fullygrownhomo's
podcast on our socials.
It's probably the easiest wayhit us up via our socials.
I'm sure that plenty of ourlisteners have got icks, oh for
sure, or pet peeves and the moreobscure ones the better.
Speaker 2 (53:01):
Yeah, really obscure ones If it's something strange,
like yeah yeah, it's somethingstrange.
Speaker 1 (53:07):
Like you know, somebody didn't cut their
fingernails while they werefisting you or something like
that.
You might think this was avideo content.
You should have seen Dave'sface then but, yeah, hit us up
with your icks or your petpeeves or any topics that you'd
like us to cover off.
Yeah, we hope you've enjoyedthis session and we'll talk soon
(53:30):
.
I'm Bean Matt.
Speaker 2 (53:31):
I'm Bean, dave, and we both love each other and we
love you all.
And, yeah, have a great day.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
See you next time.
Bye, that's a wrap from us.
We've been your fully grownhomos and we look forward to
opening your mind, your ears,your ears and your curiosities.
Don't forget to like, commentand subscribe and share our
podcast with your curiousfriends.
You can contact us onfullygrownhomospodcast at
gmailcom or any of our socials.
(53:56):
Fully Grown Homos Podcast.
Bye.
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