Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Danielle, good morning, good morning, Thank you so much for
coming in and bringing all your tribe.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
In school holidays.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So look, I don't know where to go back or
to go forward, but obviously I'm still as a family.
You're all still recovering from the awful death of your
sister Kelly, but now you've turned that into good and
you've started the Kelly Wilkinson Foundation and you're throwing a
lunch and we need to sell tickets.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Yeah, we will put in a really unique position where
people are coming to me and saying, are you going
to start a charity? I think there's opportunity there.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
And you know reason I really.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Wanted to give back from the get go because we
had such a great community response for our family and
we wanted to give that same opportunity to other families.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So what is it that the foundation it's doing. Is
it similar helping people in a similar situation? Is what
your family was in?
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Yeah, So what we do is support secondary victims of
domestic violence. Secondary victims being the children left after domestic
violence homicide and their caregivers.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
So we really do.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Based around the children who are in the situation and
we offer practical supports to those families.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Some people would say when you mentioned homicide in that sentence,
some people would say, oh, that's a foundation for not
a lot, But unfortunately there's a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Unfortunately there is.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
You know, the stuts of last year came through one
hundred and one women and goodness, they don't actually get
stats on the children left, so they really are the
forgotten families of domestic violence.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Wow, that's a lot of children left.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yeah, other caregivers, Yeah, absolutely, And a lot of the
time it is family who were taking them in. So
you know, these family they're not sitting down and crunching
numbers and saying, hey, we can financially do this. They're
doing it because they know this is where the children
should be. And then they're really struggling after that.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
So that's where we step in. And then we say, hey, we're.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Going to support you long term, which no one is
doing in that space at the moment.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And other than just funds and that sort of thing,
what are some of the support things that you put
in place.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
So we are really financial based at this stage. We
are only very small, grassroot charity and so some of
the things we do is cover extracurricular activities.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
We wouldn't even think of that, would you. You just
think about food and a roof, and not ballet lessons and.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Soccer and all of those things you think.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
You know, for a lot of people, they just pay
them every week and it's just something that comes out
of their bank account. But for these families, it's not
something that they've been prepared for. So that little thing
can actually become a big thing for them to be
able to, you know, do what they were doing before.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
It's really important.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Recently, you helped someone purchase a car, didn't you.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
We did, so we actually had another family come on
board who have eight children as well. And I didn't
think we would come across as another family that big
so quickly, but they'd been using two cars for over
a year and my initial thought was, Wow, I need
to get you a car like yesterday. And I sort
of I knew it was a little bit big for
(03:07):
what we are at the moment, and I approached a
few other charities and we sort of bended together and
we got them a twelve seat a bus that's perfect.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Incredible and had information for families. Is that something that
you can help out with as well, because obviously people
every year they're new to the situation where you guys
have got experience that you can maybe pass on on
what they might be going through.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Absolutely, and I think for us, we're still really building,
you know, that sense in what we do. A lot
of people think we're working in the prevention space, which
we're not. We're working in that sort of aftercare area.
And absolutely, you know, we come from a lived experience background,
so we can help those families sort of navigate those
difficult systems.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Do you mind me asking how's everyone going? How did
everything go? Blending the two families together.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I think anyone that comes from a blended family background
knows that, you know, it's not always going to be easy.
We do have that extra layer of trauma with everybody,
so that's been really tricky to navigate. You know, we
have some really tough days trying to get everyone sort
of across the line. And you know, trauma is not
(04:18):
a steady up sort of you know, line to follow.
It's really riding waves and those waves come at different
time for everybody, so just navigating that can be tricky.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Also, everyone's trauma is different at any given stage.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
And the new house that was built for you, is
it going along beautifully?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
We love that house. You know. We were so lucky
to get that.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
It really has been a really turning point in how
our family functions.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
We went from a four bedroom house to a seven
bedroom house and a lot of the kids have their
own space and that has just been a blessing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Absolutely. And how are Kelly's kids.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
They life's never going to be normal for them, like
there's never going to be a normal. I think they
just need to find their normal and it's really just
being able to identify when they're not coping well. And
that's really hard when you're a kid to go, hey,
I'm not feeling myself and it comes out in different behaviors.
(05:22):
So I think for them it's just that journey of going, oh, hey,
I'm not okay today and I need help.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Can you give me a hug.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I really read a great quote the other night and
it was sometimes the kids that need the most love
will show you in the most unloving way, And that
hit home for me absolutely, and I for get that
a bit sometimes.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
I think for them to act out in certain ways
as well, it's a comfort because they know they can
do that and then come back full circle and get
that love. So it is a little bit of a
comfort space as well. But in saying that it's hard
to deal with in the now, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It is? What about York kids as well? Like everyone
must ask about Kelly's for the deep trauma they've had,
but your kids have had to accept their cousins living
with them.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Absolutely. I think accepting the cousins wasn't the hard part.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
I think it's the exposure to the domestic violence background
that Kelly's kids had to go through, because it wasn't
just that one incident. It's been years of abuse that
they had seen and were aware of. And you know,
my kids have come to me and gone, oh hey,
you know someone's just said this is this right? And
I think it's getting their head around that that is
(06:32):
what was happening in their home.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's not normal, not normal.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
No, So yeah, it's that sort of exposure.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
The kids are here, You're going, well, kids happy to
be in a.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Radio station, very quiet, geez, they're good with their sign language.
They're having full blown conversations just with their hands.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Is a new house grave, Yeah, for sure, Darling kids
all right, well let's get everyone to this lunch because
you're only fifty percent sold and we want to get
there and help out these other families that are going
through what you've gone through.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, so this is only our second year. We have
gone a little bit bigger. This year.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
We've moved to the Macure at Carrara. It's such a
great spot there. And what we've done is based the
lunch around Kelly's birthday. So her birthday is the first
of August. It actually lands on her birthday this year,
and I just wanted it to.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Be light and fun.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
She was only twenty seven when she left us, and
you know, I didn't want it to be.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Like a sit down, very formal lunch. I wanted it
to be you know, people leave and go, oh wow,
that was really fun.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
So there's a few little things in the room to
celebrate our birthday and we've got ruffles and things like
that as well food and drink package.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's going to be a really fun day.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
All right.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Well, where do we get tickets from?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
So you can go to any of our socials We're
on Facebook, Instagram or our website, or you can go
direct through to Humanitics and search up Kelly's long lunch.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Beautiful, good job, well done you. When I asked about
the kids, how are you?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I hate this question. I try and ignore, you know,
answering it. It's I don't know. I don't know. It's
been a really.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Hard journey, and I try and put time into myself,
but it takes away from me being present for the kids.
So I really do put myself on the back burner
a bit, which I know is not ideal, but I
you know, I'm trying to do my best for them,
so it's balanced. Though.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
You need to look after yourself too.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, I'm sorry I asked that question, but I'm also
glad I asked it so that people can look out
for you.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Yeah, thank you, thank you for coming in, thank you
for having me. I really appreciate it.
Danielle, good morning, good morning, Thank you so much for
coming in and bringing all your tribe.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
In school holidays.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Yes, that's right.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
So look, I don't know where to go back or
to go forward, but obviously I'm still as a family.
You're all still recovering from the awful death of your
sister Kelly, but now you've turned that into good and
you've started the Kelly Wilkinson Foundation and you're throwing a
lunch and we need to sell tickets.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Yeah, we will put in a really unique position where
people are coming to me and saying, are you going
to start a charity? I think there's opportunity there.
Speaker 3 (00:37):
And you know reason I really.
Speaker 4 (00:39):
Wanted to give back from the get go because we
had such a great community response for our family and
we wanted to give that same opportunity to other families.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
So what is it that the foundation it's doing. Is
it similar helping people in a similar situation? Is what
your family was in?
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Yeah, So what we do is support secondary victims of
domestic violence. Secondary victims being the children left after domestic
violence homicide and their caregivers.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
So we really do.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
Based around the children who are in the situation and
we offer practical supports to those families.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Some people would say when you mentioned homicide in that sentence,
some people would say, oh, that's a foundation for not
a lot, But unfortunately there's a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Unfortunately there is.
Speaker 4 (01:27):
You know, the stuts of last year came through one
hundred and one women and goodness, they don't actually get
stats on the children left, so they really are the
forgotten families of domestic violence.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Wow, that's a lot of children left.
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Yeah, other caregivers, Yeah, absolutely, And a lot of the
time it is family who were taking them in. So
you know, these family they're not sitting down and crunching
numbers and saying, hey, we can financially do this. They're
doing it because they know this is where the children
should be. And then they're really struggling after that.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
So that's where we step in. And then we say, hey, we're.
Speaker 4 (02:00):
Going to support you long term, which no one is
doing in that space at the moment.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And other than just funds and that sort of thing,
what are some of the support things that you put
in place.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
So we are really financial based at this stage. We
are only very small, grassroot charity and so some of
the things we do is cover extracurricular activities.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
We wouldn't even think of that, would you. You just
think about food and a roof, and not ballet lessons and.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Soccer and all of those things you think.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
You know, for a lot of people, they just pay
them every week and it's just something that comes out
of their bank account. But for these families, it's not
something that they've been prepared for. So that little thing
can actually become a big thing for them to be
able to, you know, do what they were doing before.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
It's really important.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Recently, you helped someone purchase a car, didn't you.
Speaker 4 (02:46):
We did, so we actually had another family come on
board who have eight children as well. And I didn't
think we would come across as another family that big
so quickly, but they'd been using two cars for over
a year and my initial thought was, Wow, I need
to get you a car like yesterday. And I sort
of I knew it was a little bit big for
(03:07):
what we are at the moment, and I approached a
few other charities and we sort of bended together and
we got them a twelve seat a bus that's perfect.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
Yeah, it was.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Incredible and had information for families. Is that something that
you can help out with as well, because obviously people
every year they're new to the situation where you guys
have got experience that you can maybe pass on on
what they might be going through.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Absolutely, and I think for us, we're still really building,
you know, that sense in what we do. A lot
of people think we're working in the prevention space, which
we're not. We're working in that sort of aftercare area.
And absolutely, you know, we come from a lived experience background,
so we can help those families sort of navigate those
difficult systems.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Do you mind me asking how's everyone going? How did
everything go? Blending the two families together.
Speaker 4 (03:58):
I think anyone that comes from a blended family background
knows that, you know, it's not always going to be easy.
We do have that extra layer of trauma with everybody,
so that's been really tricky to navigate. You know, we
have some really tough days trying to get everyone sort
of across the line. And you know, trauma is not
(04:18):
a steady up sort of you know, line to follow.
It's really riding waves and those waves come at different
time for everybody, so just navigating that can be tricky.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
Also, everyone's trauma is different at any given stage.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
And the new house that was built for you, is
it going along beautifully?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
We love that house. You know. We were so lucky
to get that.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
It really has been a really turning point in how
our family functions.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
You know.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
We went from a four bedroom house to a seven
bedroom house and a lot of the kids have their
own space and that has just been a blessing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Absolutely. And how are Kelly's kids.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
They life's never going to be normal for them, like
there's never going to be a normal. I think they
just need to find their normal and it's really just
being able to identify when they're not coping well. And
that's really hard when you're a kid to go, hey,
I'm not feeling myself and it comes out in different behaviors.
(05:22):
So I think for them it's just that journey of going, oh, hey,
I'm not okay today and I need help.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Can you give me a hug.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
I really read a great quote the other night and
it was sometimes the kids that need the most love
will show you in the most unloving way, And that
hit home for me absolutely, and I for get that
a bit sometimes.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
I think for them to act out in certain ways
as well, it's a comfort because they know they can
do that and then come back full circle and get
that love. So it is a little bit of a
comfort space as well. But in saying that it's hard
to deal with in the now, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (05:58):
It is? What about York kids as well? Like everyone
must ask about Kelly's for the deep trauma they've had,
but your kids have had to accept their cousins living
with them.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Absolutely. I think accepting the cousins wasn't the hard part.
Speaker 4 (06:10):
I think it's the exposure to the domestic violence background
that Kelly's kids had to go through, because it wasn't
just that one incident. It's been years of abuse that
they had seen and were aware of. And you know,
my kids have come to me and gone, oh hey,
you know someone's just said this is this right? And
I think it's getting their head around that that is
(06:32):
what was happening in their home.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's not normal, not normal.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
No, So yeah, it's that sort of exposure.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
The kids are here, You're going, well, kids happy to
be in a.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Radio station, very quiet, geez, they're good with their sign language.
They're having full blown conversations just with their hands.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Is a new house grave, Yeah, for sure, Darling kids
all right, well let's get everyone to this lunch because
you're only fifty percent sold and we want to get
there and help out these other families that are going
through what you've gone through.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Yeah, so this is only our second year. We have
gone a little bit bigger. This year.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
We've moved to the Macure at Carrara. It's such a
great spot there. And what we've done is based the
lunch around Kelly's birthday. So her birthday is the first
of August. It actually lands on her birthday this year,
and I just wanted it to.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Be light and fun.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
She was only twenty seven when she left us, and
you know, I didn't want it to be.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Like a sit down, very formal lunch. I wanted it
to be you know, people leave and go, oh wow,
that was really fun.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
So there's a few little things in the room to
celebrate our birthday and we've got ruffles and things like
that as well food and drink package.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's going to be a really fun day.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
All right.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Well, where do we get tickets from?
Speaker 4 (07:49):
So you can go to any of our socials We're
on Facebook, Instagram or our website, or you can go
direct through to Humanitics and search up Kelly's long lunch.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Beautiful, good job, well done you. When I asked about
the kids, how are you?
Speaker 3 (08:05):
I hate this question. I try and ignore, you know,
answering it. It's I don't know. I don't know. It's
been a really.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Hard journey, and I try and put time into myself,
but it takes away from me being present for the kids.
So I really do put myself on the back burner
a bit, which I know is not ideal, but I
you know, I'm trying to do my best for them,
so it's balanced. Though.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
You need to look after yourself too.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Yeah, I'm sorry I asked that question, but I'm also
glad I asked it so that people can look out
for you.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
Yeah, thank you, thank you for coming in, thank you
for having me. I really appreciate it.
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