August 18, 2025 • 13 mins
Hey Super Sober Heroes— I’m back on the mic with a long-overdue update!
It’s been almost six months since my last episode, and so much has happened in my life and recovery journey. As of August 18, 2025, I’m 1,543 days sober, and I’m grateful for a listener message that reminded me just how much this podcast still matters.
In this episode, I share:
- Why I paused the show and how I’ve been learning to set healthier boundaries.
- The powerful impact of working not one, but two 12-step programs.
- Rebuilding relationships with family and creating new ones through faith and community.
- Navigating major life changes, including separation, a new relationship, and growing into alignment with my values.
- How my recovery journey led to unexpected doors opening—like starting my fitness business, deepening my coaching practice, and stepping into new opportunities.
This isn’t a “weekly return” just yet, but it is a promise that the show isn’t going away forever. Think of it as a check-in, a reminder that sometimes we need to pause and regroup, but that doesn’t mean we’re done.
If this podcast has meant something to you, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out anytime at:
📧 bettersrq@gmail.com
📱 Instagram: @gayapodcast
Your words keep this community alive. Thank you for walking with me on this journey—and until next time, stay sober, friends.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey there, super sober heroes.
It's your host, Steve, andwelcome to a brand new episode
of Gay, the Queer Sober HeroShow.
It has been quite some timesince I last checked in with you
all, and I am happy to reportthat I am 1,543 days sober as of
today's date of August 18th,2025, and I am grateful for a.
(00:27):
Message that I got from alistener over the weekend.
His name is Jacob.
And Jacob wrote, hi Steve.
Just wanted to say your podcasthelped me to reassess my anxiety
coping, and I'm now in IOP and60 plus days sober from meth,
alcohol, and weed.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Any plans on returning to thepodcast?
(00:47):
You have a very unique voice andI resonate a lot with your
journey through sobriety andhealing sexual awareness.
That message came at just theright time for me when I put
down the podcasting headphonesofficially back on March 25th,
although my last full episodewas on February 27th, I had a
lot going on in my personal lifeand I was struggling to maintain
(01:10):
boundaries, not only withpeople, places and things, but
also just being able to manage.
I kicked off this year with theamazing opportunity to compete
in the world's largest realityshow for business startups
called The Blocks.
And even when I applied, I wasstill a podcast coach.
(01:32):
Not only was I creating thisshow, but I had invested in
further education to be able tohelp coach other people on how
to grow their shows and wasproducing and editing as well as
coaching them through thatprocess.
And one thing I learned over themonths of doing that.
Was that it is much more funmaking my own show about the
things that I love than it ishelping other people make shows
(01:55):
about things that don't resonateas well with me and.
On top of all of that education,there were a lot of rules about
podcasting that I had learnedabout things that you should
quote unquote be doing.
If you were to have a quoteunquote successful show, things
like you should be making oneepisode a week, you should
(02:15):
always be posting on the sameday.
You should be doing.
A certain number of social mediaposts and reels and carousels.
Each week, you should beengaging with others people's
content that are in yourpodcasting field on social
media.
And honestly, all of thoseshoulds were leading to a lot of
feelings of shame and guilt.
(02:36):
I felt like I wasn't showing upfor all of you the way that I
was supposed to, and those rulesmade me feel really bad about
myself as well as my situationwith podcasting.
It was a lot for me to handle,and while I was struggling with
my podcast coaching and mypodcasting itself, I took that
(02:59):
opportunity to pivot, to focusmore on my personal training.
So that is the business that Icompeted under, and where I
learned how to grow from andgrow.
I did.
While at the same timenavigating a new opportunity
with my life coaching academythat I had graduated from a
little over a year ago.
(03:20):
And so I was starting a new job,starting a new shift in career
for my own business on top oftrying to navigate a lot of
complicated interpersonalrelationships that I was having
because I was dealing with a lotof boundary issues.
Because of all of this, insteadof not showing up to the show
(03:41):
fully and completely the waythat I wanted to, I decided to
take some time to step back andfocus on myself and my program
and my mental health and myrecovery.
And with that.
It certainly has led to a lot ofhard work, but luckily I've also
been seeing in recent monthsthat hard work is paying off.
(04:03):
I have always, from the veryfirst episode, been very open
that I am a 12 stepper with myAA meetings around the time that
this podcast teetered off, Ialso began going to a CA
meetings.
So I was working two programs atonce on top of trying to run two
businesses at once on top oftrying to take care of myself
(04:24):
and the people that I loved.
And through working those twoprograms, I was able to learn
and develop better boundaries,which ended up serving me very
well.
And navigating a lot ofdifferent life changes.
I really put a lot of thoughtinto where a lot of my fears,
anxiety, emotions that wereharming me were coming from and
(04:46):
was able to trace back theroute.
To a lot of family stuff fromgrowing up that I hadn't dealt
with.
And through working theseprograms and working on myself,
I'm happy to report that I'velet my parents back into my life
that we are doing very well.
I just celebrated my birthdaythat's coming up with them last
(05:07):
night, and.
It's great to see them again andhave them in my life while also
exercising healthy boundariesand realizing that as troubled
as my childhood was in momentsthat they were doing the best
that they could.
That was something that I didn'treally see until I was able to
work the programs and step backand do some journaling and
(05:30):
reflecting and step work intoit, and it just feels really
good to be able to have myfamily back into my life now.
I also have developed betterboundaries with a lot of my
friendships.
That was something that aroundthe time that I ended this
podcast, I was really strugglingwith friends that were not
(05:50):
serving me well.
I've reestablished boundarieswith those individuals while
loving them from a distance andbegan developing new
relationships with peoplethrough my faith community.
And it's been great havingpeople that I know I can rely on
and count on that appreciate mefor who I am and meet me where I
(06:10):
am.
One of the biggest changesoccurred to me right around my
four year sober bursary.
My partner and I were discussingall of the changes that have
been going on in my life thesepast four years plus since
getting sober back on May 28th,2021.
And my life is so different thanit was back then in so many
(06:35):
different ways.
But we agree that the two of usdealing with a lot of the same
issues that we were, not onlywhen I got sober, but even from
back when we got married andwere dating and we were in this
cycle where.
We were struggling on a regularbasis and came to the mutual
decision that it was time tomove on.
(06:56):
We both have many years ahead ofus, and I want to live my life
to the fullest and I want him tohave the same, and we want each
other to be happy.
And so we came to the conclusionto separate and then while I was
a surprise to everyone, but mysponsor, my best friend who I
moved in with during theseparation process quickly
(07:19):
became more than just a bestfriend, and I found a new
relationship now that.
Is really fulfilling for me.
While my past relationships wereoftentimes based in.
Shared interests with thingslike pop culture, like tv,
movies, and video games.
I always struggled because Iwould find myself with people
(07:41):
where we didn't share the samevalues about not only how we
wanted to live our day-to-daylives, but where we wanted to
see our futures, how we dealwith things like family and
friends.
And so it's funny'cause it'skind of on the opposite end of
the spectrum, where at firstglance.
My new partner and I don't haveas much in common in terms of
(08:01):
pop culture references andinterests, but at our core,
we've really learned that we dohave the same value system, and
we've been using that sharedvalue system to grow together as
well as individually.
And I've continued to grow mybusiness as well.
The opportunity to compete onthe blocks back in January was a
(08:24):
huge stepping stone for me to beable to put all my eggs in the
fitness basket, put thepodcasting business aside, and
really focus on using myexperience, strength, and hope
not only from my recoveryjourney, but also from my
fitness journey to be able tohelp other people see the same
results for themselves.
(08:45):
I've shared before, but when Istarted my sobriety journey,
while so many areas of my lifehad improved, I also swapped out
alcohol and drugs for sugarslike sour candy and ice cream
and cookies.
And over my first two and a halfyears of sobriety, I gained.
(09:05):
Almost, or over a hundredpounds.
And it was only when I looked atmyself in the mirror after my
interview with Marc Jacobs andseeing those pictures of me with
him to realize that I wasn'thappy with the way that I
looked, in addition to havingwarnings from my doctor about
things like my blood pressureand my cholesterol because of my
(09:25):
obesity.
And so that inspired the changeto be able to take care of my
body and health in a better way.
It began with cardio, thenevolved into strength training
and all of that eventually ledto my getting my personal
training certification andstarting my business GBF Fitness
and.
(09:46):
It's been an excellent journeywhere over the past six months
I've also gotten my nutritionistcertification as well as my
transformation coaching andweight loss management
certifications.
So I've been really able to helpmy clients not only see results
inside the gym, but also outsidethe gym in their day-to-day
life, feeling happier aboutthemselves and their bodies and
(10:08):
their lifestyle at the same timeas that's going on.
Meanwhile, I've also acclimatedquite well to my new part-time
opportunity with Thriving CoachAcademy Coaching life coaches.
So I've been able to go fromdoing that once or twice a month
(10:29):
to once or twice a week, and itjust goes to show that doors
might close for now, but thatdoesn't mean that they're always
going to remain closed.
When I graduated from thatacademy and pivoted, first to
podcasting and then to fitness.
I thought that it would be acertification that I wouldn't
(10:49):
find myself using again.
But here I am using it on aregular basis and feeling really
good about the results that I'mable to help other people have,
as well as the opportunity to beback in the life coaching world
and get my own life coaching ona regular basis to be able to
help me go from functioning tothriving in a lot of different
areas of my life.
(11:11):
It's been a great supplement tomy 12 step programs, and it
brings me back to this idea ofthis podcast.
I love doing this podcast.
I still enjoy podcasting andmade sure that even in the big
move from my old home to my newhome, that I kept all my
podcasting equipment just incase.
(11:32):
And it was only when I gotJacob's message that I realized
that it was time, at the veryleast, to give you all an
update.
So to answer his question thathe ended his message with about
if I have any plans on returningto the podcast, the answer is
yes.
This is another example of adoor that closed for a little
bit but was not locked up.
(11:53):
I didn't throw away the key.
I still have the ability to makethe show and the interest to do
so when I'm able to focus andgive it the care that it needs
to be able to find qualityguests for you that you'll be
able to resonate with andrelease episodes on a regular
basis so you know exactly whenit is.
(12:14):
You'll be hearing from me i'mnot there yet.
I'm not saying that all of asudden you're gonna be seeing
new episodes in your feed everysingle week for me, but what I
am saying is don't hit theunfollow button, because I do
have plans to return to theshow, if not in the late fall,
early winter of this year, atthe very least, early into 2026.
So if you're listening, thatmeans that you still subscribe
(12:37):
and follow me wherever youlisten to podcasts.
And I wanna let you know thatI'm not going anywhere forever.
I'm just taking some more timeto adjust to all of these
changes that have been going onin my life.
But I do wanna still hear fromyou.
This message from Jacob lit upmy day, made my weekend.
And so if you are interested incoming on the show when it comes
(13:01):
back or just.
Reminding me every now and thenthat the show still means
something to you.
Please reach out to me.
I am always available.
I will include all of my contactinformation in the show notes,
but it is, I am still logging inon Instagram at Gay a podcast
and my email address isbettersrq@gmail.com.
(13:25):
So whether you're sending me aDM or an email, I'd love to hear
from you and I'd love to connectand I'd love to continue to
navigate my sobriety journeywith you all.
So with that, thank you all foryour patience, for your
understanding, and for your kindwords as I am navigating all of
these life changes.
And I look forward to connectingwith you all real soon.
(13:49):
And until that time, stay soberfriends.
Hey there, super sober heroes.
It's your host, Steve, andwelcome to a brand new episode
of Gay, the Queer Sober HeroShow.
It has been quite some timesince I last checked in with you
all, and I am happy to reportthat I am 1,543 days sober as of
today's date of August 18th,2025, and I am grateful for a.
(00:27):
Message that I got from alistener over the weekend.
His name is Jacob.
And Jacob wrote, hi Steve.
Just wanted to say your podcasthelped me to reassess my anxiety
coping, and I'm now in IOP and60 plus days sober from meth,
alcohol, and weed.
Thank you for the inspiration.
Any plans on returning to thepodcast?
(00:47):
You have a very unique voice andI resonate a lot with your
journey through sobriety andhealing sexual awareness.
That message came at just theright time for me when I put
down the podcasting headphonesofficially back on March 25th,
although my last full episodewas on February 27th, I had a
lot going on in my personal lifeand I was struggling to maintain
(01:10):
boundaries, not only withpeople, places and things, but
also just being able to manage.
I kicked off this year with theamazing opportunity to compete
in the world's largest realityshow for business startups
called The Blocks.
And even when I applied, I wasstill a podcast coach.
(01:32):
Not only was I creating thisshow, but I had invested in
further education to be able tohelp coach other people on how
to grow their shows and wasproducing and editing as well as
coaching them through thatprocess.
And one thing I learned over themonths of doing that.
Was that it is much more funmaking my own show about the
things that I love than it ishelping other people make shows
(01:55):
about things that don't resonateas well with me and.
On top of all of that education,there were a lot of rules about
podcasting that I had learnedabout things that you should
quote unquote be doing.
If you were to have a quoteunquote successful show, things
like you should be making oneepisode a week, you should
(02:15):
always be posting on the sameday.
You should be doing.
A certain number of social mediaposts and reels and carousels.
Each week, you should beengaging with others people's
content that are in yourpodcasting field on social
media.
And honestly, all of thoseshoulds were leading to a lot of
feelings of shame and guilt.
(02:36):
I felt like I wasn't showing upfor all of you the way that I
was supposed to, and those rulesmade me feel really bad about
myself as well as my situationwith podcasting.
It was a lot for me to handle,and while I was struggling with
my podcast coaching and mypodcasting itself, I took that
(02:59):
opportunity to pivot, to focusmore on my personal training.
So that is the business that Icompeted under, and where I
learned how to grow from andgrow.
I did.
While at the same timenavigating a new opportunity
with my life coaching academythat I had graduated from a
little over a year ago.
(03:20):
And so I was starting a new job,starting a new shift in career
for my own business on top oftrying to navigate a lot of
complicated interpersonalrelationships that I was having
because I was dealing with a lotof boundary issues.
Because of all of this, insteadof not showing up to the show
(03:41):
fully and completely the waythat I wanted to, I decided to
take some time to step back andfocus on myself and my program
and my mental health and myrecovery.
And with that.
It certainly has led to a lot ofhard work, but luckily I've also
been seeing in recent monthsthat hard work is paying off.
(04:03):
I have always, from the veryfirst episode, been very open
that I am a 12 stepper with myAA meetings around the time that
this podcast teetered off, Ialso began going to a CA
meetings.
So I was working two programs atonce on top of trying to run two
businesses at once on top oftrying to take care of myself
(04:24):
and the people that I loved.
And through working those twoprograms, I was able to learn
and develop better boundaries,which ended up serving me very
well.
And navigating a lot ofdifferent life changes.
I really put a lot of thoughtinto where a lot of my fears,
anxiety, emotions that wereharming me were coming from and
(04:46):
was able to trace back theroute.
To a lot of family stuff fromgrowing up that I hadn't dealt
with.
And through working theseprograms and working on myself,
I'm happy to report that I'velet my parents back into my life
that we are doing very well.
I just celebrated my birthdaythat's coming up with them last
(05:07):
night, and.
It's great to see them again andhave them in my life while also
exercising healthy boundariesand realizing that as troubled
as my childhood was in momentsthat they were doing the best
that they could.
That was something that I didn'treally see until I was able to
work the programs and step backand do some journaling and
(05:30):
reflecting and step work intoit, and it just feels really
good to be able to have myfamily back into my life now.
I also have developed betterboundaries with a lot of my
friendships.
That was something that aroundthe time that I ended this
podcast, I was really strugglingwith friends that were not
(05:50):
serving me well.
I've reestablished boundarieswith those individuals while
loving them from a distance andbegan developing new
relationships with peoplethrough my faith community.
And it's been great havingpeople that I know I can rely on
and count on that appreciate mefor who I am and meet me where I
(06:10):
am.
One of the biggest changesoccurred to me right around my
four year sober bursary.
My partner and I were discussingall of the changes that have
been going on in my life thesepast four years plus since
getting sober back on May 28th,2021.
And my life is so different thanit was back then in so many
(06:35):
different ways.
But we agree that the two of usdealing with a lot of the same
issues that we were, not onlywhen I got sober, but even from
back when we got married andwere dating and we were in this
cycle where.
We were struggling on a regularbasis and came to the mutual
decision that it was time tomove on.
(06:56):
We both have many years ahead ofus, and I want to live my life
to the fullest and I want him tohave the same, and we want each
other to be happy.
And so we came to the conclusionto separate and then while I was
a surprise to everyone, but mysponsor, my best friend who I
moved in with during theseparation process quickly
(07:19):
became more than just a bestfriend, and I found a new
relationship now that.
Is really fulfilling for me.
While my past relationships wereoftentimes based in.
Shared interests with thingslike pop culture, like tv,
movies, and video games.
I always struggled because Iwould find myself with people
(07:41):
where we didn't share the samevalues about not only how we
wanted to live our day-to-daylives, but where we wanted to
see our futures, how we dealwith things like family and
friends.
And so it's funny'cause it'skind of on the opposite end of
the spectrum, where at firstglance.
My new partner and I don't haveas much in common in terms of
(08:01):
pop culture references andinterests, but at our core,
we've really learned that we dohave the same value system, and
we've been using that sharedvalue system to grow together as
well as individually.
And I've continued to grow mybusiness as well.
The opportunity to compete onthe blocks back in January was a
(08:24):
huge stepping stone for me to beable to put all my eggs in the
fitness basket, put thepodcasting business aside, and
really focus on using myexperience, strength, and hope
not only from my recoveryjourney, but also from my
fitness journey to be able tohelp other people see the same
results for themselves.
(08:45):
I've shared before, but when Istarted my sobriety journey,
while so many areas of my lifehad improved, I also swapped out
alcohol and drugs for sugarslike sour candy and ice cream
and cookies.
And over my first two and a halfyears of sobriety, I gained.
(09:05):
Almost, or over a hundredpounds.
And it was only when I looked atmyself in the mirror after my
interview with Marc Jacobs andseeing those pictures of me with
him to realize that I wasn'thappy with the way that I
looked, in addition to havingwarnings from my doctor about
things like my blood pressureand my cholesterol because of my
(09:25):
obesity.
And so that inspired the changeto be able to take care of my
body and health in a better way.
It began with cardio, thenevolved into strength training
and all of that eventually ledto my getting my personal
training certification andstarting my business GBF Fitness
and.
(09:46):
It's been an excellent journeywhere over the past six months
I've also gotten my nutritionistcertification as well as my
transformation coaching andweight loss management
certifications.
So I've been really able to helpmy clients not only see results
inside the gym, but also outsidethe gym in their day-to-day
life, feeling happier aboutthemselves and their bodies and
(10:08):
their lifestyle at the same timeas that's going on.
Meanwhile, I've also acclimatedquite well to my new part-time
opportunity with Thriving CoachAcademy Coaching life coaches.
So I've been able to go fromdoing that once or twice a month
(10:29):
to once or twice a week, and itjust goes to show that doors
might close for now, but thatdoesn't mean that they're always
going to remain closed.
When I graduated from thatacademy and pivoted, first to
podcasting and then to fitness.
I thought that it would be acertification that I wouldn't
(10:49):
find myself using again.
But here I am using it on aregular basis and feeling really
good about the results that I'mable to help other people have,
as well as the opportunity to beback in the life coaching world
and get my own life coaching ona regular basis to be able to
help me go from functioning tothriving in a lot of different
areas of my life.
(11:11):
It's been a great supplement tomy 12 step programs, and it
brings me back to this idea ofthis podcast.
I love doing this podcast.
I still enjoy podcasting andmade sure that even in the big
move from my old home to my newhome, that I kept all my
podcasting equipment just incase.
(11:32):
And it was only when I gotJacob's message that I realized
that it was time, at the veryleast, to give you all an
update.
So to answer his question thathe ended his message with about
if I have any plans on returningto the podcast, the answer is
yes.
This is another example of adoor that closed for a little
bit but was not locked up.
(11:53):
I didn't throw away the key.
I still have the ability to makethe show and the interest to do
so when I'm able to focus andgive it the care that it needs
to be able to find qualityguests for you that you'll be
able to resonate with andrelease episodes on a regular
basis so you know exactly whenit is.
(12:14):
You'll be hearing from me i'mnot there yet.
I'm not saying that all of asudden you're gonna be seeing
new episodes in your feed everysingle week for me, but what I
am saying is don't hit theunfollow button, because I do
have plans to return to theshow, if not in the late fall,
early winter of this year, atthe very least, early into 2026.
So if you're listening, thatmeans that you still subscribe
(12:37):
and follow me wherever youlisten to podcasts.
And I wanna let you know thatI'm not going anywhere forever.
I'm just taking some more timeto adjust to all of these
changes that have been going onin my life.
But I do wanna still hear fromyou.
This message from Jacob lit upmy day, made my weekend.
And so if you are interested incoming on the show when it comes
(13:01):
back or just.
Reminding me every now and thenthat the show still means
something to you.
Please reach out to me.
I am always available.
I will include all of my contactinformation in the show notes,
but it is, I am still logging inon Instagram at Gay a podcast
and my email address isbettersrq@gmail.com.
(13:25):
So whether you're sending me aDM or an email, I'd love to hear
from you and I'd love to connectand I'd love to continue to
navigate my sobriety journeywith you all.
So with that, thank you all foryour patience, for your
understanding, and for your kindwords as I am navigating all of
these life changes.
And I look forward to connectingwith you all real soon.
(13:49):
And until that time, stay soberfriends.
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