Pee Funnels: Trash or Treasure? Plus: The Boots vs Trail Runners Cage Match!

Gear Abby is back! Host Shawnté Salabert and producer Colin “P.I.G.” True tackle another round of listener questions about the gear and decisions that make (or break) your time outside.

This week’s lineup includes:

• Boots vs Trail Runners – Abby helps settle the debate over whether “real hikers” wear boots, and why trail runners may or may not be the superior option.
• Pee Funnels – What works, what doesn’t, and why Shawnté thinks practice makes perfect (but beware of splashback).
• Running Watches – Listener Jeff wants to know: are GPS watches worth it, or just a fancy distraction from the trail? Shawnté’s answer might surprise you.
• Cowboy Camping – To tent or not to tent? Shawnté shares the pros, cons, and creepy-crawly considerations of sleeping under the stars.

It’s another round of honesty and hard-earned outdoor wisdom from Gear Abby.

Send your questions to [e-mail] and they might make it onto a future episode!

Thanks for listening! Gear Abby is a production of Rock Fight, LLC.

Sign up for NEWS FROM THE FRONT, Rock Fight's semi-weekly newsletter by heading to www.rockfight.co and clicking Join The Mailing List.

Please follow and subscribe to Gear Abby and give us a 5 star rating and a written review wherever you get your podcasts.

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
You got questions going out ofyour mind, Someone with answers.
Now that's hard to find, likethe what and the why and the how
stuff works or just where togo to avoid all the jerks She's Gear
Abby. Gear Abby. Gear Abby.Advice that doesn't suck. Gear Abby.
Hello there, my outdoorsyfriends, and welcome to Gear Abby,

(00:26):
where we tackle thecontroversial and weird, obscure
and taboo topics that otheroutdoor podcasts refuse to touch.
I'm Shawnté Salabert, anoutdoor educator, writer, and former
school social worker who'shiked, run, climbed, paddled, and
adventured all across theUnited States and beyond. And here
on Gear Abby, I channel allthat experience and more into answering

(00:48):
your burning questions aboutour relationships with outdoor people,
products, places, andpastimes. Because remember, my outdoor
loving pals, there are no dumbquestions, just smart advice. You
know how this works. You sendquestions to myrockfightmail.com
and I pick my favorites toanswer here on the show. And joining

(01:10):
me today is my partner ingear, the producer of Gear Abby,
and our official questionslinger, Colin True.
Thanks for not saying pig.
Not this time, at least. We'veonly just started recording this
episode, so don't count your chickens.
God, I thought. I thought wewere through it.
I mean, this begs a question, Colin.

(01:30):
Yeah?
Before you do, start whippingthose questions my way, how does
it feel to be but a merecomedic foil on someone else's podcast?
Oh, I love it. Bring on secondfiddle, second banana. What's the
term we want to use? I'm intoit. Yeah.
Is it pig?
It's not pig. Maybe if I haveto be called pig, I won't love it

(01:50):
so much, Shantae.
Okay, fair. We'll work on it.We're working. Listen, this is the
second episode ever of GearAbbey, so.
God damn it, I'm pig forever now.
I mean, it's two episodes.
If it happens on two episodes,it sticks.
Listen, you did choose yourown title.
So I did actually.
Never forget. But here, sinceyou have chosen that illustrious

(02:12):
title and you are my partnerin gear, what is your first question
for me today?
All right, here's our firstquestion. It's from lugsoulover.
Not a fighter. Dear Gear Abby.Okay, I'll make this quick with a
classic backpacking question.Hiking boots or trail runners?
Ooh, Burn Lug sole. You shouldknow that in the backpacking community,

(02:34):
hiking boots are trailrunners. That's essentially fighting
words.
Attention, Gear Abbeylisteners. This is your producer
and partner in gear, ColinTrue speaking, and I wanted to let
you know that, that sound youjust heard, the one that sounded
like this, that's yourindication that there is a footnote
available for you on the GearAbbey episode companion article over
on Rockflight. Co. Go check itout. To get even more from every

(02:57):
episode of Gear Abbey.
Or I suppose they would be ifthis was an Internet forum or, you
know, a Facebook group devotedto hiking where people spend about
900 times more energy fightingabout the things like pack weight
and, you know, whether or notpeople are inspired by wild or dumb
than they do actually hiking.So, so, but this is not that. This
is Gear Abby, where I'm hereto help you. I can't vouch for Colin

(03:20):
and whether or not he's hereto help you.
But I have opinions on thislike everybody else who has hiked
a step in their life for sure.
All right, you'll get yourchance. You'll get your chance. Pig.
So anyway, Lug Soul, I amgoing to assume the very best in
you, that you are not tryingto poke at one of the oldest and
frankly, in my opinion, mostannoying controversies in the hiking
world. And instead, you justwant to know my earnest opinion on

(03:43):
what footwear is best for you.That you, that you are not some sort
of jerk who wanted to rufflemy feathers like Colin, but someone
with a deep desire to makereal strides in their footwear choices.
So, lug Soul, here's thetruth. I, I. And certainly not 99.99%
of the Internet. Unless by theInternet you mean your personal podiatrist

(04:05):
who's on Instagram can tell. Ican't tell you what's best for you
and your feet, only what'sbest for me and my feet. But since
you open this can of worms,we're going to dive in. All right?
So, Colin, hold. Hold your thoughts.
I am, I'm trying to be reallygood right now. We've had a lot of
these conversations.
Over on hold your trail runners.
Yes.
Hold your man sandals. Allright, so Gear Abby's here to help

(04:28):
you. Lug sole. So boots havebeen the footwear of choice, of course,
for wanderers since, you know,the invention of boots. The idea
that they come with some sortof the diet, the idea is that basically
they come with some sort ofrugged, grippy, outsole, shock absorbing,
midsole foot cradling insole,and an upper made of, you know, leather
or some other sturdy materialthat's, you know, high enough to

(04:50):
theoretically add some extrastability to your ankle dynamics.
Boots are tough, they areresilient, they last forever. They
will protect Your feet, andthey will give you superhuman abilities
on trail.
Wait, really? Is that true?
No, I made the last one up.
That's true.
It's not true. Have you, haveyou discovered any superhuman abilities?
Well, I might try again if that's.
That's true. Don't bother.Don't bother. That's what I'm here

(05:11):
to say. I mean, that's, thatis, however, kind of the tried and
true way people think aboutwhy hiking boots are superior. But
let's talk about trailrunners. My personal pick for about
900 reasons. So trail runnerscame onto the shoe scene in the 80s
once trail races became athing and people needed something
that toed the line, you mightsay, between road running shoes and

(05:34):
clunky hiking boots. Sothey're grippy and resilient on uneven
terrain, but also light enoughto not slow, slow you down when you're
out there trying to poundthrough miles. So the category has
since exploded and become thefavored shoes for a lot of long distance
hikers and backpackers whohave the same goals, moving light
and fast over, you know,varied terrain. So I think a lot

(05:57):
of boot people kind of poo poothe idea of hauling a pack around
while they're wearing trailrunners because they say trail runners
don't offer the same stabilityas a boot, the same weather protection
as a boot, the same longevityas a boot. And they're not wrong.
I mean, they don't. But whatthese people don't realize is that
people like through hikers arenot looking for footwear that's going
to last them through middleage. They're looking for something

(06:19):
that's going to get them, youknow, a couple hundred miles up the
trail.
I just want to jump in and sayclunky hiking boots. New band name.
That's right. We're keeping.For, for those of you new to gear,
Abbey, we're keeping a list ofband names and T shirt slogans.
So clunky the clunky hikingboots would be. I would go see them
on a weekend night.

(06:39):
Yeah, I wouldn't. I want toknow, in your mind, Colin, what.
What style of music Are the CHB's?
Wow. The clunky hiking boots.
Yeah. So you don't even have avision, man.
That could be all sorts of things.
No, that couldn't.
I'm gonna get finishedlugasoul here, then I'm gonna have
an answer for you.
We'll see. I mean, my defaultanswer for every single band name

(07:02):
we come up with on this showis going to be.
Prog I mean, it's kind of likea, it's a punk band like, that's
reminiscent of like the StiffLittle Fingers.
Hmm. Okay, we'll workshopthat. So anyway, I mean, I, I personally,
I'm gonna tell you now, Luxel,I am a trail runner person. I started
when I started on the PCT andI pretty quickly started like I figured

(07:25):
out that I not only lookedlike a thru hiker, but felt like
one. And I was just allaround, honestly more comfortable
wearing a pair of trailrunners. You know, my feet felt lighter.
I stopped getting blisterseverywhere. We won't talk about my
corns, which Colin has lovedto talk about on the rock fight.
No corns either. And aftergetting wet, my trail runners dry

(07:48):
pretty quickly. So, you know,as a bonus, I, you know, whenever
I stopped to swap into sandalslike somewhere like the Sierra, I
wasn't adding £4 to my packwhen I tossed my shoes in there.
So honestly, it was just awin, win, win for me. I'm a trail
runner freak now. I also trailrun, so I already have the house.
Although I do use differenttrail runners for hiking and running.

(08:10):
But to be fair for anybodyelse considering this question, I
started hiking in a pair ofConverse sneakers. So the only reason
I actually ever got a realpair of hiking shoes, they were some,
you know, ancient form ofkeens whose name I cannot remember
is because I used to sliparound like an ice skater when I
was wearing those things and,and realized I needed something better

(08:32):
because the worst thing thatever happened to me in those Converse,
I was hiking in the SantaMonica mountains. I slipped, I fell
right next to a baby rattlesnake.
The worst kind of rattlesnake,I kid you not.
The next day I bought a pairof keens. So basically my answer
to this question logsoul isthat you should pick the footwear

(08:53):
that feels best on your footthat also creates the least likelihood
of you slipping and landing ona poisonous reptile.
When you put those keens on,did you feel like you needed to go
right to Costco with all theother Saturday afternoon dads?
Suburban errands?
Yeah, exactly.
Yes, yes, I did. I did. But Iwasn't going to fall on a snake on
my way to Costco. Which is areal plus in my opinion.
You never know where thesnakes are. Maybe they're, you know,

(09:15):
buying their 30 pack of Dr.Pepper. Who knows?
They're in the soap aisle.Slipping around danger noodles.
Got to lubricate my belly so Ican get a better slither.
Wow, I feel like that youoffered me absolutely zero to work
with here, Colin. So I'd liketo move away from what you just said
as quickly as possible,please. Hit me with another question

(09:36):
that has nothing to do withslithering on your belly.
I'm not slithering my belly.The snakes are.
Okay, that's all I'm imaginingright now.
All right, next question.Dear, dear Abby, have you ever had
actual success with thosefemale standing peeing things? I
had a silicone one and I stillhad to put my pants down and everything.
It didn't really feel worthit. Signed, Angry Ray.

(09:59):
Angry Ray.
Angry Ray is pissed.
No pun intended. Yes, it was.Was it?
I hope so.
Your pun. Well, I. I'm goingto say you intended it. And I'm going
to give you bonus points forthat one because that was very good
thinking on your toes there,buddy. I mean. All right, so first
of all, Angry Ray, I would saythat I'm disappointed that this is

(10:21):
a pee question and not a poopquestion, but honestly, I can talk
about any and all bodilyfunctions all day. It is my special
gift.
Come back later for Ghirabi'sdissertation on the circulatory system.
We're going to talk aboutplasma. That's my ASMR podcast. It's
just bodily fluid.
Just all. All bodily functions.

(10:42):
So I'm going to make my realmoney, my fortunes. Ah. Well, I am.
I'm thrilled that Angry Raywrote in with this spectacular question.
So the short answer to yourquestion, Ray, is yes, I've had success
using what I would call a Pfunnel. I actually have the old school
version of the freshet. It'slike this. This thick plastic pink

(11:03):
thing with a retractable tubesticking out of it. It looks very
medical, but it's. It's. I gotit back when I was doing a lot of
climbing because I had theseembarrassing to admit, but I had
these kind of lofty and, as itturns out, deeply unrealistic ambitions
of being, you know, high onthe wall in El Cap, pretending I
was Lynn. Lynn Hill, part two.Like, taking a really graceful pee

(11:24):
break while freeing the nose.Turns out I'm not really a big wall
person or a person who ever ina million years is going to attempt
to pee while wearing a cl. Um,but that thing did come in useful
when I decided to hikeKilimanjaro. Um, so if you've never
been Kilimanjaro, it's a bigvolcanic mass and it. There's no
trees once you get high up onthis thing. And so I will never Ever,

(11:47):
ever forget the feeling ofclimbing on this completely exposed
scree slope high in themountain back to back with my guide
Ayubu, while we both peedstanding up. It was very powerful,
very, very emotional momentfor both of us, I'm sure.
Is Ayubu used to peeing with awoman standing back to back with.

(12:07):
No. We didn't have muchconversation while we were urinating
opposite each other, so I liketo think that that might have been
his only time.
But you're burned into Ayubu's memory.
Yeah, he did email me for along time after that trip, so it's
absolutely.
Oh, so he was into it.
He may have been. I don'tknow. We don't judge on this podcast.

(12:32):
No kink shaming on Gear Abbey.
No, exactly, exactly. But Iwill say T shirt slogan. That's actually,
I would buy that T shirt evenif it was my own T shirt that I made
for my podcast. I'm buying it.I'd like it as a tote bag as well.
No kink shaming and angry Ray,you will be pleased to know that
I did not even have to expose1 millimeter of butt cheek to Ayubu

(12:55):
or anybody else on themountain because the freshet was
in fact tucked neatly into mypants where it belonged in the piece
was flowing freely without anybacksplash. It was a great experience.
I felt I have to break in andask, were you nervous? Were you a
little. Like, I hope thisworks because if not, my pants are
going to be soaked in pee forthe rest of the time on this mountain.
No, because here's the thing,the secret is simple with these things.

(13:16):
Practice at home a lot in yourbathroom where you can splash around
water sports. So myrecommendation, Ray, and anybody
else who is, you know, peefunnel curious is start in the shower
butt naked or Winnie the Poohit if you want. You know, choice
is yours. But basically waituntil you master the basics of this

(13:39):
thing before you try tuckingit inside your pants. Like that's,
that's number one. So here'sthe deal. Whether yours is enclosed,
some of them have kind of likegot a situation of like an enclosed
funnel you put your businessin. Or if it's one of the open funnels,
you want to make sure thatyour bits are centered over it so
that the pee goes into thefunnel so that it can funnel away
from your body. This is key. Ifound that for the freshet, which

(14:03):
is one of the enclosed ones,it was really important to have the
top of the funnel kind offlush with my skin. So you are getting
intimate with this device.Practice at home. So in the next,
you want to do the best thing.The most favorite part of this, which
is aiming for any of us who donot have a penis like this, is exciting
to be able to aim and peebecause it's hard when you're squatting.
So aim yourself at anappropriate target and pee into the

(14:26):
funnel. That's really all itis. Not I get a quick shake. Not
Iubo. No, that's back to back.Back to back. If you're peeing with
a companion, I mean, who am Ito say no kink shaving on this podcast?
Give it a quick shake, rinseit off, tuck it into a Ziploc, or
if it comes with a baggie, popit in there so that you don't get
pee all over your stuff. Andonce you've mastered this while butt

(14:49):
naked or Winnie the Poohing inyour shower, try aiming into the
toilet. Then add a pair ofpants that you might likely wear
outside and see if you couldtuck it in without splashing around
everywhere. So you just got totuck that thing in back, you know,
far enough so that it's goingto catch everything and send it away
from your body. You want thebusiness end of your urethra contained.
That's a sentence I neverthought I'd say.

(15:11):
Wow, I am speechless.
My job here is done. Colin.
I mean, would you, at thispoint, with the knowledge that you
have of using your, you know,your she ness, would you. Would you
rather.
I hate it.
Would you rather go thatroute? Or would you just get a pair

(15:31):
of pants from someone likeNara with the appropriate zipper
in them so you could pop asquat with your pants on?
Yeah, no, those are great. Ijust feel like I would actually pee
on myself more if I tried topee directly through the pants. I
feel like I need a. I need,like, a guide. I need a helping hand
to get out. So, I mean,honestly, personally, I never use
my P funnel anymore because Ilove to pop a squat. I just feel

(15:52):
a lot more free. Uh, there wasactually a time on the Pacific Crest
Trail where I was hiking in askirt for, like, two months on the
trail, and I loved it becausesome days I would just squat, pull
my underwear to the side, andgo for it. It was so. And I'd still
have my backpack on. I reallyfelt like I was achieving something
when I did that. Yeah. Soinspiration for anyone who needs

(16:13):
it. But I would absolutely,you know, I would bust out this funnel
thing again if I was In acrowded situation like Kilimanjaro
or, you know, if I suddenlylost all. All fear of big wall climbing
or if I just, you know, wantedto write my name in the snow. Although,
to be fair, I have done that,and it's harder than it looks. Have.
Have you done that, Colin?
Of course. Of course.

(16:34):
Did it look like your namewhen you were doing.
Oh, I could write full on cur.I could spell my name, like, in cursive.
Yeah, it's a talent. It's nobig deal. This isn't about me.
I gotta bust out my fresh ETagain and get my skills going. Do
you raise any Dear Abby in the snow?
Do you use a kula clothregardless of the scenario here?
Oh, yeah, I love my kulacloth. I use that thing all the time.

(16:56):
I feel like. I feel likesomeone will have a pee cloth question
at some point. Yeah, that'sactually interviewed Anastasia from
Kula, and she is amazing. Herbackstory is super cool. But, yeah,
I have. I think I have four orfive kula cloths at this point. I
do only have one urethra, butfive kula cloths just so I can. You
know, it's like wearing adifferent outfit. Sometimes I want

(17:16):
to dab with a cat. Sometimes Iwant to dab with the solar system.
Where's the outdoor brandthat's going to solve that problem?
More urethras.
Right?
More urethras.
Actually, one is fine for me.I'm good. All right, Colin, so we've
come in pretty strong today.We got hiking boots versus trail
runners. We've talked aboutpee. What do you have for me next?

(17:37):
I don't know whether to beexcited or afraid.
Well, we have it. This is abit of a longer question. Are you
ready?
Okay.
I feel like this is gonna bethe centerpiece of the episode.
Oh, that's so. I don't knowwhat you saying. That just felt very
French. Like.
I'm not even gonna do it. I'mnot gonna go to French restaurant.

(17:58):
I don't wanna hear yourversion of French.
No, I'm not the French.Definitely don't want that.
Sent a piece of this portrait.
Why do you get to do it?
All right, I'm partially French.
Okay. So am I. Ch. Dear GearAbby, I'm a hiker and trail runner,
and one of my favorite thingsabout getting out in nature is disconnecting
from technology. But I'm alsokind of competitive, and I want to

(18:19):
keep leveling up, especiallyas a runner. Up until now, I've resisted
wearing a GPS watch, but Iknow so many people who say that
I need to start using one if Iwant to take my running more seriously.
Are they full of it or can awatch really up my game? Signed Koros
Curious in Flagstaff.
Oh, first of all, I love thatsignature. People, please get creative

(18:39):
when you send in your emails.Second of all, I got you, buddy.
Koro's Curious.
Are you saying that Angry Raywas not creative?
Oh, no. Angry Ray is great. Iwant to know what makes Ray angry.
Is it peeing all overthemselves? Like, while I think the
Winnie the.
Pooh advice gave is reallywhat ultimately is going to make
her not angry.
But. Okay, sorry, that's. Imean, Winnie the Pooing solves a

(19:03):
lot of problems in life, likeairflow issues, all sorts of things
did for my dad. I don't evenknow what that means. Terrifying.
Okay, we're going to leavethat one alone and we're going to
move into this. Great questionthat chorus Curious sent. So if,
if you'd asked this questionof pre watch Shantae, I would say

(19:25):
that your friends are indeedfull of it. Because the last thing
I want to do while I'm trailrunning, hiking, backpacking, any
of that is to allow a tinycomputer to sort of ruin my. Personally,
I think being tethered to acell phone is bad enough. Like, why
the hell would I want a littledigital dictator on my wrist? But
you are asking this questionof post. Post Watch Shantae. Post
watch gear Abbey. I now ownnot one, but three GPS watches.

(19:50):
Obsessed.
So. So let me start with alittle story. Okay, so basically
a couple years ago, I go toCopenhagen. I'm gonna go visit my
bestie who moved there. Andshe asks me a couple weeks before
I head over, hey, do you wantto run a 5k with me? It's something
doing. I was like, yeah, thatsounds great. Um, couple days before
I get there, she's like, oh, Igot some details wrong. It's a relay

(20:13):
race, 5K. So there's fivepeople on each team and each of them
is running the 5K. And it's acouple hours after you land. So me
being the luckiest person onthe planet, I land in Copenhagen.
My train gets stuck betweenthe airport and the city for something
like two hours. So I have anhour to get to her place and then

(20:33):
she tells me We've got a 30minute walk to the park. So we get
to the park. I am exhausted,I'm delirious, I'm thrilled to be
there. I chug a Carlsberg. Iam ready to go when that baton does,
right? Dude, that baton hit myhand and I took off like a Gouda
fueled bat out of hell. And I,at some point I looked down at my
watch and I was running aneight minute mile, which I have never

(20:53):
done in this life. So I wasblazing, I was mouth breathing a
lot. Just pure success.
Where does the watch play intothis versus the Gouda and the Carlsberg?
I think.
Come on.
All right, listen, everybodywants to talk about cheese. Let's
get to the watches. So I had aForerunner 55. It's my very first

(21:15):
GPS watch. It's kind of like abasic, great intro running watch.
And I had that on my wrist.I'd been training with it for months
before this, so I had beentraining for a half marathon. And
the watch comes with littleprograms built into it. The app that
comes with it, the Garmin app,has programs built into it. I'd been
using these and I'd been, Ihad been in fact leveling up my running

(21:37):
game. And I finished this 5kwith my fastest 5k time ever in my
entire life. Set a personalrecord. And I have to say, like,
at one point I kind of lookeddown at the watch and I was like,
yeah, buddy. No. But yeah, itwas a wild. It was a wild experience.
But I, I do credit the watchfor helping me sort of level things

(21:57):
up. But to be fair. So Coral'scurious. Here's the thing. Keep this
in mind. Just like Red Bullcannot actually make you spontaneously
sprout wings, Nikes cannotactually help you fly, a GPS watch
is not going to magically turnyou into Sha' Carri Richardson, so.
But depending on how you useit, it can be a great training tool

(22:18):
and a great way to measureprogress in your sport of choice.
So screw your friends, do whatyou want. Just get out there and
have fun and enjoy running forrunning sake. And if the watch helps
you do that, more power to you gear.
Abby colon. Screw yourfriends. Do what you want another
T shirt? I think I do want toask, did you run just. It was a relay
race, so.
Yes.
Did you just run 1k as part ofa five person team?

(22:40):
No, no, no. Everybody wasdoing a 5k. And get this, they had
me slotted in the last place.
You were the.
Yeah, I was. Cuz they're like,you don't live here, we don't know
you. And in fact, Brook's bosskept calling me Brooke's friend instead
of my actual name. So I waslisted on the team roster in slot
number five as Brook's friend.
That's the best. That's the best.

(23:01):
Yeah, I felt really loved.Well, Colin, I'm a little sad that
we're here already.
Where are we? Where are we?
We are here on planet Earth.You may not have been aware. We are
also here at the finalquestion for this episode.
Okay.
Are you ready?
I'm quite ready. This is agood one. I'm actually really curious
to hear what. Yeah, no, I'mvery curious to hear what you're

(23:22):
gonna say about this one.
I'm very curious to hear whatyou're gonna say about it. I don't
even know what it is.
Dear Gear Abby. Does anyoneactually like cowboy camping? Signed
Eric J.
Wow, this one feels like apersonal attack. But maybe that's
cause I'm still a littleheated from the boots vs trail runners

(23:42):
discussion earlier. Maybebattle royale of hiking today. All
right, so first I feel like wehave to define cowboy camping because
I bet a lot of people are notfamiliar with that term. Colin, when
you hear cowboy camping, whatdo you think?
Camping with a cowboy hat on.
Terrible. Guess.
No, obviously just camping outin the open.

(24:03):
Camping out in that. Well, be specific.
That's on the ground withnothing over you. Like just, you
know, bare bones. Basics.
Yeah, just tent naked.
Just tent. Just, you know,maybe I don't even think a bivvy.
Right. Just sleeping bag onthe dirt, you know.
Yeah. All right, so yeah,cowboy camping is. I mean Colin didn't
describe it great, but that'sfine because he's not the host. So

(24:25):
cowboy camping I think of as.Yeah, just being out one with nature.
You're not using a tent. Youmight use a little like bivvy to
keep your sleeping bag dry.But the idea is that you're out there,
you know, getting full accessto the night sky. Great for stargazing.
You. You don't want to carry atent maybe because your pack is super
heavy or you're too lazy toset up your tent if you're carrying

(24:46):
it with. Or maybe you forgotyour tent at home. There are a lot
of reasons people might cowboycamp. My reason for starting to cowboy
camp was that I very. The veryfirst time I tried it, I was in Joshua
Tree. So I was a student insomething called the Sierra Club's
wilderness travel course,which is a 10 week. I know, so fancy.

(25:07):
Yeah. Don't you wish you couldhave taken it? No, you do, it's great.
I ended up becoming aninstructor. I taught it for like
six years. But it's an outdoorskills class. You do a Bunch of field
trips. Yeah, well, you're tooold now. You're not actually. But
in my. I'm not going to letthem allow you to take the class
just because you're beingsalty. Anyway, Colin, I was in Joshua

(25:31):
Tree. We're going back to thedesert now, buddy. Stay with me.
In Joshua Tree, you got totake, you got to do a couple field
trips to graduate from thisclass. So I chose one to a peak in
Joshua Tree that required somecross country travel across the desert.
We're going to climb thispeak. Do a thing. The only issue
is that it was May and it wasabsolutely broiling outside, like
satanically hot. So I knew Iwas going to have to carry 7 liters

(25:56):
of liquid for this trip. Thatis, if you are doing the math, six
liters of water, one liter ofwine since there wouldn't be any
natural sources out there. SoI decided to. Sadly, no girl can
dream. I'm actually more of awhiskey girl, if I'm being honest.
But you don't want to bring aleader whiskey on a trip unless you
don't want to make it home.
Yeah, you might. Depending onthat. Sounds pretty hot. You might

(26:18):
want that whiskey.
Yolo. Anyway, I decided likeif there was a trip where I was going
to try cowboy camping, it wasgoing to be this one where my pack
was so freaking heavy. So Ileft my tent at home. Brave the wild.
So here's my method. Okay,Eric J. To enjoy, quote, enjoy cowboy
camping is that for me. I haveto lay down a ground cloth, put down

(26:41):
my sleeping pad, my sleepingbag, and then I set up a perimeter.
So the perimeter, if you'rewondering, is just basically me outlining
my ground cloth with everysingle object in my path. That is
not part of my sleeping setup.There is absolutely no tarantula,
rattlesnake, mountain lionalive who can fight through my highly
secure perimeter constructedof top grade contact solution fuel,

(27:02):
cookware, extra socks, and somuch more.
I feel like this is theequivalent of my leg is under the
covers.
The monster can't get me 900%.I am that person. When I get into
bed at night, I have mynightstand, my light is right next
to me. I flick that light offand then leap into the bed like the
ground is lava. I just. Themonster cannot touch my foot. Even

(27:24):
in the dead heat of summer. Myfeet have to be covered. Wow.
Learning so much about youthis episode.
It's true. Gear Abby. She's adeep well. Well, if you want to know
though, Colin and Eric J. Justhow secure this Perimeter, this impenetrable
Fortis fortress that I createis know that during a trip on the

(27:46):
pct, I woke up in the middleof the night once thinking that something
was kind of walking aroundbehind me. I thought I heard a grunt,
like a little, um, but Idecided I probably didn't because
honestly, I wear earplugs sothat I can't hear what's coming for
me in the night. Um, but I wastired as hell, so I fell right back
asleep. However, I woke up thenext morning and saw bear prints

(28:07):
passing just above my headoutside the perimeter. And so, other
than the contact solutionbeing knocked over, my invincibility
barrier remained intact. Itshould be noted here that I do refer
to cowboy camping as turningyourself into a burrito. So just
keep that in mind if youdecide to try it. But no, really,
I've. I've done it a bunch oftimes since in the desert and the

(28:29):
mountains. And as long as theweather forecast is solid, I do,
I do like it. I enjoy it. Thestargazing is pretty excellent as
is sort of indulging in my owninherent laziness that comes with
not having to set up my tentor take it down the next morning.
You can get some condensationon your gear. That's where the bivy
can come in. But you justdon't want to have your face in there

(28:50):
creating more condensation.Um, but really, I think ultimately
cowboy camping is apsychological battle royale, you
know, so consider those firstexperiences out there to be kind
of exposure therapy. Colin,have you done it before?
No, actually, the only time Idid something on the ground before,
but we always had a tent, likekind of a tarp. Not so. No, never

(29:12):
have.
Boring. Not hardcore enoughfor me.
Well, I actually am in tunewith reality and understand that
that impenetrable fortress isbullshit, so. And I will die from
a snake bite.
I regret asking you for youropinion. This is for Eric J. And
anyone else who's curiousabout cowboy camping. First of all,
don't listen to Colin. Try theperimeter. Second, if you are still

(29:35):
worried about waking up with acoyote spooning with you or, you
know, a rattlesnake curled ontop of you, the most important advice
is to make sure that you havea tent or tarp set up nearby that
you can kind of go into if youget spooked. And also, I highly recommend
invite several people to joinyou. Make sure they're also cowboy
camping and make sure they're,you know, strategically scattered

(29:56):
around your campsite. Sleeptight, Eric J. Well going to leave
you with that. That is it forthis episode of Gear Abby. Until
next time, send your burningquestions about your relationships
with outdoor people, products,places and pastimes to us [e-mail]

(30:18):
and I'm going to do my best toanswer them or find someone else
who can. Today's episode wasproduced by Deep, David Karstad and
Colin True. Art directionprovided by Sarah Gensert. And I'm
Shantae Salibair, AKA GearAbbey. And remember, there are no
dumb questions, just smart advice.