13 Landing our desire by letting go of our demands

What about the soul movement of desire—positive or negative?…Eastern philosophies are big fans of the notion that desirelessness is ideal, postulating that having desires hinders ones spirituality. And this is true. But it’s only half-true…Because it’s impossible to create if there is an absence of desire. Creation requires our ability to visualize a new state of being, and for that we must have a desire to have said state. It all comes down to how we go about this…

If our desires are overly strong and too tight, there is a misconception underneath it that says ‘I must have it.’ So then it's not really a desire, but a demand…Then if life doesn’t give us our way, it is bad and unfair. We’ll go on to prove how unfair life is through the dismal results we create with our unfair demand. Dog, meet tail…

If we want to create something good, we’ll need to start with a blueprint: a positive, real desire. And the breeze that carries forward our plans for positive creation is a soft-flowing soul movement—desire without a “must”…Embedded into the concept of desire is a paradox: the right kind of desire needs to be so relaxed, we don’t need to have it fulfilled…In other words, we need to have a desireless desire. How can this be?...

We need to come into a state where we are ready to give up what we desire. We can deeply long for something and then also accept the pain of not having it. Sounds like a tall order…We don’t want to feel any pain or any of its derivatives: frustration, disappointment and rejection. We resist. And that’s what splits us off from ourselves, fragmenting our consciousness into smaller and smaller bits. But if we can get our arms around acceptance and non-resistance in the right way, we can heal and gather ourselves…

In the end, everything hinges on our reaction to pain. We have to learn that pain is just as trustworthy as the rest of the universe. We can’t split off certain aspects because they are painful and continue to trust all the rest…And yet, we can’t fail to open to the beauty of our eternal being if we are willing to accept both the beauty and the beast that lives inside us right now. Then we’ll see that the good is forever-me, and the bad is for-now-me…

When we open up to desiring to see both the good and the bad in both ourselves and the other, we experience the unitive principle. Seeing how there is plenty of negativity to go around, and how there is also goodness on both sides of every fence, will eliminate hate…In short, a desire to blame is always a desire to not see ourselves…

To create a desire for a new inner state, we need to feel all the “musts” that squash fulfillment. Even if they yield short-term results, “musts” are not our friends…But as we learn to let go our death-grip on our desires, rewards will blossom like flowers in the sun.

Listen and learn more.

Gems, Chapter 13: Landing our Desires by Letting Go of our Demands

Read Original Pathwork® Lecture: #206 Desire: Creative or Destructive