Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome to
the Gentleman's Journey podcast.
My name is Anthony, your host.
And what this is?
This episode, the episode we'redoing today, is essentially our
weekly review of the past fiveepisodes for Grandeur.
So what I'm going to do is I'mjust going to go ahead and when
(00:22):
they get into it we're going totalk about the five episodes.
So you kind of get a feelingwhat's going on, some things
that you missed, and then we'regoing to kind of I'm going to
tell you a little bit what'sgoing to go happen next week for
the next five episodes.
So episodes five through or sixthrough ten, and then we're
going to get going.
So, first off, if you'veactually made it through these
(00:47):
first five episodes, you alreadyknow this is not a story, it's
a system.
This is not.
It's not about the man you'relistening to, it's about the man
you could become right.
So we're going to unpack thefirst five episodes of this
descent.
You know the five movements,this one path right, and the
(01:14):
first hard truth is that youcannot rise until something
breaks right.
So in the first episode, thegiving right.
This is where it all starts.
It doesn't start with like anexplosion, but an offering.
You know we meet our guy.
You know he's broken in life,he's haunted by grief, stumbles
(01:36):
into a shelter full of justshadowy people, not good people.
You know he's there for reasonsunknown, right, you know, a
stranger places something in hishand a knight, a chess piece.
It's cold, it's humming, it'sunsettling.
We don't know why he's chosenand he doesn't either.
(02:01):
But here's the thing we know sofar in that episode Is that
you're never given a pieceunless you're asked to play the
game, right?
So this was an invitation, youcould say, not to power, but to
remembering Right Now.
(02:24):
In episode two, the sparksomething that you know writing,
writing that episode and andthen performing it is that grief
speaks in silence.
Right, and in episode two, wewe meet.
We meet the ghost behind hiscollapse.
(02:45):
Right, and it's her.
You know, the ring's still inhis pocket.
The proposal never happened andnow her grave has become a
place, really the only placethat he still feels like.
The truth is there, you know,but he can't go back to that
(03:11):
night before.
You know he's understandingthat his life is going to be
different.
It's altered, right?
He lost the love of his lifeand you know, through all that
grief, he's now homeless, youknow, and it's in that you know
that episode it's not aboutmoving forward, it's about how
(03:36):
grief can is such a silentkiller, how it can just really
wrap its hands around yourthroat and you're not able to
move at all.
You know, and because you'renot able to move, you can't move
forward and you can't start.
(03:59):
The process of grieving, Iguess, is really the best way to
explain that.
Right, grieving, I guess, isreally the best way to explain
that right Now.
Episode three.
This is belief.
He believes something ishappening, but he doesn't know
what.
The night hums in his pocket,you know, the world feels off a
(04:22):
little bit.
It's like it's turning everyyou know, just a few seconds
ahead of him, right, peopledon't see him, time repeats
itself, flyers blow away beforethey're read and something
terrifying begins to happen tohim.
Or the realization is that hecomes to this understanding that
he's not missing because no oneis looking for him.
(04:45):
And in this episode, in episodethree, he doesn't know it yet.
But what's really happening isthat he's beginning to vanish,
not physically, but from meaning.
And in that episode it was sucha hard thing to write, because
(05:14):
how many people do you pass byon a daily basis that are
homeless, that you see them butyou don't see them.
You know they vanish really formeaning.
They're just namelesscharacters, just a part of your
story that you don't see them.
You know they vanish really.
For me they're just namelesscharacters, just a part of your
story that you don't reallyinteract with.
Right, writing that was reallyhard because it could really
happen to anybody.
(05:36):
Now, as we're talking about that, right, let's talk about
episode four, the crash.
And this was so heartbreakingto write.
Because you know he's nottaking a shower, right, he's
(05:58):
taking a shower.
Maybe at what?
Every four to five days, atmost, maybe a week.
Right, he's not eating.
He begs for money and he feelsdisgusted by it.
Right, the shelter has ungodlysmells and sounds and people in
it.
Now, and he meets a man therethat should have been a warning
(06:24):
but he's too far gone to notice.
Because, I mean, think about it, in that episode, two or three
homeless people die.
You know there's people talkingto themselves, there's people
that are trying to sell themdrugs.
There's people that are tryingto, you know, trade them drugs
for a sandwich.
I mean, it's just, what'shappening in that episode is
(06:46):
that his identity is beginningto erode and it's happening
right in front of him, you know,because in that erosion of his
identity, right, right, he'skind of having this realization
(07:08):
that maybe the world that he'sliving in maybe isn't real, or
maybe he's not, because he's insuch despair and he's lost.
And when you get to that point,what's in your mind and what is
outside of your mind it's hardto tell the difference anymore.
(07:30):
You know what I mean.
He just feels like he's nothingand people are treating him as
such, and that's a really hardthing to understand, especially
if you've never been in thatposition.
If you have, it can be quitetriggering.
So episode five, the Mirror.
This is such, you know, becausehere's the thing, you know, one
(08:04):
of the hardest parts in that iswhen he meets the kid in the
corner right it was probably inhis early teens, probably like
13, 14, 15, 16 years old Giveshim the you know, the candy bar,
right or not, it was a granolabar right, bar right and then
how he's looking at himself inthe mirror and it's cracked and
(08:30):
and he sees somebody who'sliterally given up, you know,
and he's hanging out alleyswhere, you know, there's
dangerous people, there's peopledoing drugs, there's more
people being killed around him.
You know, in the inhumane way,how they're just being dragged
(08:51):
off.
They're just.
You know, essentially, at bestyou know they're just putting a
blanket over them and thenwaiting until the morning.
You know he's seeing around him, his world, that nobody cares
if he's alive or if he's dead.
(09:12):
But he starts to understandlike you know what.
Maybe this is my low point, nowRight, this is my low point, now
Right, this is my low point.
He says that this is my lowpoint and you're going to start
(09:34):
to see that he's going to startto essentially start to make his
ascension is about the best wayI can explain it.
So, as we're talking about this, here's some things you might
have missed and I want to reallymake sure that you understand
these things.
Right, Is that the chess piecefirst off the knight is more
than symbolic.
(09:54):
It responds to him emotionally.
You know time abnormalitieshave quietly begun in this right
.
There's time looping people notnoticing him.
Reality is subtly breakingaround him.
The phrase still here, he saysthis a lot is repeated across
(10:19):
episodes.
It's a subconscious denial ofthe truth Because, if you think
about it right, no one ever sayshis name because he hasn't
really claimed one anymore and,if you think about it, the only
act of control that he truly hasis writing in his notebook.
(10:41):
That's it and him walking.
Those are the only things hehas, and that's so hard because
you want to root for him, butyou also know that he has to.
You know something has tohappen for him, and that will
(11:03):
obviously start here.
So, as we're talking about this,let's talk about how this
applies to you.
Now, right, how many times haveyou waited for the world to see
you when, in truth, you haven'tseen yourself?
I'll give you an example.
How many people do you know inyour life that have all the
(11:23):
potential in the world?
They're smart, they work hard,but they don't ask for more,
they don't demand more fromthemselves, or they have the
ability but they don't have thewant to.
That's an example of that.
Another question how often haveyou asked for direction when
(11:46):
what you needed was a decision?
You know, have you ever hadthat one friend as we're talking
about this?
Have you ever had that onefriend where they go over a
story and you realize thatthey're the problem and you try
as nice as you can to kind oftell them that right, and you
(12:09):
just get to a point like, listen, you just need to make a
decision.
I can't talk about this anymorewith you, right, because they
literally beat this dead horseand you just come to a point
like, listen, it's, eitheryou're going to do it or you're
not.
There's really nothing else,because they don't need
direction.
They just need to make adecision.
And that's a lot of times.
If you're asking for direction,it's because you're afraid to
(12:32):
make a decision.
Just remember that.
Right.
Here's another one.
When did you start shrinkingjust to fit in someone else's
silence?
You know, if you think about alot of times what happens in
(12:54):
relationships I'm talking aboutin friendships and romantic
relationships.
A lot of times, let's say,we're doing good and our, our,
our friend or our partner is notdoing great, right, we don't
want to share how great our lifeis going.
We don't want to share the goodthings that happen today
because they've had a bad day.
Right, it makes us look like anasshole.
So we have to kind of shrink alittle bit.
But what starts to happen is,if we're doing that all the time
(13:15):
, what you build in therelationship is animosity and a
lot of time your partner or yourfriend's not going to see it,
it's going to be animosity onyour side.
So obviously, as you're doingthat partner or your friend's
not going to see it, it's goingto be animosity on your side,
obviously, as you're doing that.
That's a very thin line and ittakes a lot of maneuvering and
(13:37):
massaging to kind of make itwork.
But you can do it for a littlebit, but you can't do it for the
whole relationship.
It's not fair to you or to them.
I'm just throwing that outthere Now as we're talking about
this right.
(13:57):
What I love about this series isthat it's a very cinematic
feeling.
It has like a mythic feel to itbecause of the chess piece, but
it's also very real.
It's in Chicago.
It's cold, it's damp, it'swindy.
You know he's been homeless fora while now.
He's pretty much have met allseasons.
(14:20):
Because this is real, this isreal life we're talking about
here, with somebody you know andevery man that I know that has
gone through a collapse and I'mincluding myself in this knows
this truth.
You never fall into your lowestself.
It's something that is gradualover time and the best way to
(14:44):
describe it.
It's almost like a dissolving.
You dissolve into it, right,and the only way out of that,
like, let's say, you're tryingto climb out of that.
It begins with one real momentin your life and it starts with
you saying this isn't who I amanymore, this't me anymore, I'm
(15:08):
not going to be this personanymore.
But the problem is is once youmake that decision, you have to
stay with that decision because,as odd as this is going to
sound, when you dissolve to apoint to where you are invisible
to anybody and everybody andthere's no more feeling of
(15:31):
wanting to do better, sometimesthat's just easier Because
really the hard path that youtake is not staying in that
position, but actually gettingyourself out of that position.
You know, redefine yourself,build yourself back up, because
(15:53):
in the beginning it's reallyjust going to be you doing it,
no one else and that's a hardtruth to understand.
Like with him, no one's goingto care If he's there or not.
That's where he's at right now.
And when you're dissolved tothe point to where you don't
care and you feel invisible, youstarting yourself back up is
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one of the hardest things youcan do in your life, but at the
same time it's also one of themost rewarding things you will
ever do in your life, when youcome back from nothing, when
you've lost it all and got itall back.
There is nothing moresatisfying than that, I promise
you.
(16:35):
So let's talk about this nextcouple episodes now.
So in episode six, it's thechoice.
And this, you know, next weekbegins a new chapter.
Right, it's the moment he stopsasking for help and he really
starts choosing himself, and I'mgoing to tell you, it's not
(16:56):
going to be easy for him.
He'll meet someone who sees toomuch.
He'll meet, you know, he'llfeel the ground ripple beneath
him, and not from an earthquake,but from people that are
watching him.
Right, this is where his worldstarts to bend.
Characters start to come intoplay.
With this, the Invisible Kingstarts to come into play.
(17:18):
The Red King starts to comeinto play, right, and this is
where we start to finally, lateron, start to see what's really
happening in his life, and whatyou're going to see here and
I'll end it like this is, forthe first time, he's going to
stop calling it suffering, he'sgoing to start calling it
instruction.
(17:40):
So again, guys, I know this hasbeen a real different series
that we've done here on Jen'sJourney, but I just I cannot
tell you how much I appreciateall the support that you give to
this, that you've given to thisshow and this series and the
(18:01):
questions that you ask.
It's just it's it's just anawesome, awesome, awesome place
to be in and, again, I'm just sothankful for every single one
of you guys listening.
So, as we're talking about that, if you want to support the
show honestly, the easiest wayto do it is two ways.
First, send this to a friend ora family member.
(18:22):
Let them listen to this Right.
Second way is leaving a review.
Reviews are amazing.
Especially for a small showlike myself, reviews help out
tremendously.
Now, if you want to talk to meabout this series, this episode,
14 other series out there andthe 270 now plus episodes we
(18:47):
have on Jen's Journey, there'sthree ways you can do it.
First way is going to bethrough my email, or not my
email.
It's actually going to bethrough the description on the
podcast.
There's a little highlightedthing you click on that says
let's chat.
Once you click on that, you andI can have a conversation again
about this series, this episode, the 14 other series that are
(19:09):
out there, the 270 now plusepisodes that I have.
Second way is going to bethrough my email.
My email is anthony atgentsjourneycom.
And then, last but not least,you can always go to my
Instagram.
My Instagram is my gentsjourney.
So again, guys, thank you fromthe bottom of my heart.
(19:31):
So much for listening today.
And remember this you createyour reality.
Take care, bye.