Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome to
the Gentleman's Journey podcast.
My name is Anthony, your host.
Today we're in episode five.
Guys, this episode is calledthe slow burn effect because you
don't just light the fire, youbecome heat.
So before I get into thisepisode, I just want to go over
(00:22):
kind of the last four episodes.
All right, before I get intothis episode, I just want to go
over kind of the last fourepisodes, all right, because
what we've done in these lastfour episodes, we've really
reshaped your relationship tocharisma.
We showed you that it wasn'tcharm, it wasn't noise, it
wasn't performance, it wassignal not style, it was charge,
(00:46):
not personality.
It was your field, not force,it was tension, not comfort.
You know, we stripped the noise, we tuned your breath, refined
your stillness right and taughtyou how to hold your ground when
(01:07):
others were leaking energy,folding under pressure or rushed
to resolve moments that reallyaren't theirs to fix right.
But what comes next?
It isn't louder, it isn'tflashier, it isn't more dominant
, it's slower.
It isn't flashier, it isn'tmore dominant, it's slower, it's
(01:28):
hotter.
It leaves a mark that doesn'tfade Right, because real power,
the kind that feels, the kindthat actually that you feel days
later, the kind of actually,that you feel days later when
you're no longer in the room,that doesn't come from how fast
(01:53):
you speak, but from how longyour energy lingers.
This is the evolution ofcharisma that no one talks about
.
Right, it's not the entrance.
It's not the entrance, it's notthe silence, it's not even the
presence.
This is the afterglow, this isthe residue, this is the
(02:16):
emotional gravity that pullspeople back into the moment long
after you've left it.
This is the slow burn.
It's the kind of presence thatisn't sharp but it's undeniable.
It doesn't chase but it drawsin.
That doesn't flare up fastbecause it doesn't need to.
(02:41):
Right, see, most men try to beunforgettable in the first five
seconds, right, but high calibermen, they let the room remember
them in hour six.
Right, when no one knows why.
They're still thinking aboutthat conversation or that look,
or that pause, or that moment.
(03:05):
You didn't say what theyexpected.
Right?
See that that's slow burn, andit's not a technique, it's an
emotional system.
So in this episode, you'regoing to learn why immediate
impact is the death of long forminfluence.
(03:27):
Right, you're going to learnhow to build emotional
renaissance instead of temporaryimpression, and how to
structure your rhythm, yourwords and your energy to expand
over time.
Because here's the thing Coolfades, cool fades, loud fades,
(03:49):
tension even settles.
But a man who understands theslow burn, he doesn't just
change the room, he rewires howthey feel about themselves when
you're gone.
Okay, now let's get into this.
(04:11):
Let's talk about the lie thatyou're told.
You're told that charismahappens fast.
Right, you've heard it yourwhole life.
You know first impressionsmatter the most.
You only have second.
You know, seven seconds to be,to be memorable, right?
Or or people decide how theyfeel about you instantly, right?
(04:33):
We've all seen those YouTubevideo thumbnail keyword, things
right.
And so you're trained in thatto hit hard, to hit fast, to say
something witty, to dresslouder, to be bold, to be
charming, to grab the spotlightright, to make them laugh, to
(04:56):
make them react, to make themremember you immediately.
Because the world told you thatif you don't capture them in
that first moment, you lose them.
But here's the truth, to behonest, first impressions fade,
(05:16):
vast impact burns out.
Vast charisma leaves no residue.
I mean, think about it.
Leaves no residue.
I mean, think about it.
How many people have you metwho seemed magnetic at first and
become really irrelevant themoment they left the room, right
?
How many conversations feltexciting in the moment but
(05:37):
didn't shift a single thinginside of you?
Or how many people chase energybut never really create weight?
See, that's what fast charismais.
It's a performative fire.
It's a spark, a flare, a highheat with no depth right, it
(06:02):
lights quickly but burns outeven faster.
And, what's worse, it trainspeople to expect speed from you,
to expect instant win, instantinsight, instant vulnerability,
instant performance.
Which means every time you meetsomeone, you're stuck in a loop
of reproving your signal.
(06:25):
Right, but the man who lasts,the ones people remember without
knowing why.
They don't rush, they don'tflare up, they don't impress,
right, they expand, theirpresence grows, their words echo
(06:46):
, their energy infiltrates.
Right, because they're notlooking to be remembered now,
they're looking to be felt later.
So let me reframe this forever.
For you, charisma isn't abouthow fast you shine, it's about
(07:07):
how slowly you build heat untilpeople realize this man doesn't
leave my field, you don't comein like fire, you become the
temperature they remember oncethe room goes cold.
Okay.
So let's really reframe thisnow, right?
(07:30):
Influence isn't about explosion,it's about expansion, right?
See, most men, they treatcharisma like a detonation.
They enter in loud, theyimpress fast, they speak quickly
, they dominate the energy, bro,right, they have to be felt
(07:50):
right now.
But they think attention equalsimpact.
They confuse applause for depth.
Right, they're addicted to thespike, but see, but you, you're
(08:11):
playing the longer game.
See, here's what real influenceactually is.
It's not a flash, it's not aperformance.
It's not about lighting them up.
It's about building heat overtime.
Right, it's that slowescalation of charge that draws
(08:38):
people in quietly and deepensthe longer they sit with you.
Right, you know they steppedinto slow burn when people think
about your words later.
So an example would be like.
You know, I thought about whatyou said earlier.
That's an example, right?
Someone you barely spoke tostarts asking about you.
(09:01):
You speak slowly and the roomleans in instead of tuning out.
Right, you don't reveal much,but yet people offer you
everything.
Right, you leave the space, butthe space still feels touched
by your presence.
(09:22):
This isn't a vibe.
It's renaissance, right, andrenaissance is.
Isn't explosive, it's, it'sforceful.
It's not forceful, I should say.
It happens when you compressedyour presence into something so
(09:44):
clean.
It continues to expand evenafter you're gone.
Right, and this is why thismatters, because fast charisma
is self-centered.
It says look at me, let meimpress you, let me show you who
I am, you know.
But slow burn it says thisYou'll discover me over time.
(10:12):
You'll feel me more the less, Isay you won't know why, but
I'll live in your nervous systemlong after we've spoken.
You're not playing for themoment.
You're building an emotionalecho, a delayed presence, a
quiet gravity, an after effectthat keeps unfolding.
(10:39):
Right, because power doesn'talways strike.
Sometimes it lingers.
Right After you learn to paceyourself.
Control your exposure.
Increase emotional heat overtime.
(11:00):
Your exposure.
Increase emotional heat overtime.
You don't need to dominate themoment because you own the
memory.
Right?
So let me give you threeelements of the slow burn.
Right, because you don't becomeunforgettable by being louder.
Right, you become unforgettableby being more layered.
(11:24):
Right, and that's what slowburn gives you.
It gives you a presence thatdeepens instead of flares.
It gives you an energy thatpulls instead of spikes.
Right, it gives you a rhythmthat pulls them in over time
instead of performing up front.
(11:46):
So there are three core elementsthat create this type of signal
.
So the first core element iscontrolled exposure.
You don't ever give it all away.
See, fast charisma.
It reveals too much too soon.
It's the man who dumps hisresume, his values, his jokes,
(12:09):
his vulnerability, all withinthe first 10 minutes.
Why?
Because he's afraid he won'tget another chance.
Right.
But see, slow burn, it doesn'tchase access.
Slow burn creates access.
You let people learn you inlayers, you create space for
(12:32):
discovery.
You don you withhold out ofintent, because the less you
reveal, the more weight everyword carries.
Right, see, controlled exposureturns you into a story with
(12:53):
pages they want to turn.
Right, so you don't impress,you unfold.
Okay.
Now the second one is emotionalpacing.
See, you regulate the frequency, not the environment.
Right, the average man respondsto the room.
(13:14):
Right, if someone gets loud, hegets louder.
If someone's fast, he speeds up.
If there's silence, he tries tofill it.
Right, he's responsive, notrenaissance, right.
But see, slow burn charisma.
It moves differently.
See, it holds the same rhythmno matter what the tempo around
(13:40):
it is.
See, it speaks in measuredlayers, not emotional spikes.
It lets silence breathe andlets gravity build.
Right, it allows someone else'semotional spike to collapse
(14:00):
into your calm.
Right, you pace the moment witha pulse.
They begin to sink to.
Right, it's not about being themost exciting person in the
room, it's about being the mostsettling, the most grounding,
the most undeniably aware ofwhat is not being said.
(14:20):
Right, and that that's wherememories get made.
Now, number three intentionalmystique.
See, you don't reveal, yousuggest.
See, fast.
Charisma is addicted to clarity.
You know.
(14:41):
Here's who I am, here's what Ibelieve, here's my story, here's
why I'm valuable.
It's loud with identity andit's fast with explanation.
But men who carry mystique, theydon't chase definition, they
create curiosity.
(15:03):
They speak in signals, notstatements.
They leave the end of asentence hanging just slightly
longer than expected, truthful,but not everything.
(15:23):
They make you feel like theyknow more than they've said,
because they do so.
You don't become mysterious bybeing silent.
You become mysterious by beingdeliberately incomplete.
And in that incompletion youallow others to fill in the
blanks with wonder, withintrigue and with emotional
attachment.
Right, when all three areactive, you don't just wow
(15:44):
people, you weave into theirnervous system.
Right, your presence becomes avoice.
They hear later a moment.
They keep replaying a man thatthey didn't quite understand,
but they can't stop thinkingabout Because you didn't perform
(16:07):
for them, you paced them, youheld just enough and you built
heat slowly.
Because you didn't light thefire, you became the heat.
Right.
So let's put this into practice.
I'm going to teach you somethingcalled the echo technique.
(16:28):
Okay, and what it is?
You just don't want to makecontact.
You want to leave renaissance.
You know the world is full ofmen trying to impress, men
trying to impress, but very fewmen know how to leave a residue,
not just by being rememberedbut by being felt.
(16:54):
That's what the echo techniqueis for.
It's a three-part ritual youcan use in any interaction.
Right, to leave behindsomething undeniable, even when
you're no longer in the room.
Right?
This isn't about just being, ortrying to be mysterious.
I should say it's aboutengineering impact that expands
over time.
Let me break this down for you.
(17:15):
Right?
The first step is to delay thefull reveal, right?
Whatever they expect you to say, don't say it all at once.
Pause longer than normal beforeresponding.
Right, give a shorter answerthan expected.
(17:36):
Then shift focus.
Right, let the moment breathebefore continuing your thought.
Let the moment breathe beforecontinuing your thought.
Say 80% of the truth and thenlet the rest hang in the air.
Right, because restraintcreates depth.
See, the more people have toreach into your silence, the
(18:01):
more they'll return to itmentally later.
See, mystery is an absence.
It's deliberate incompletion,and incompletion creates a
mental orbit.
Right Now, step two end withecho, not closure.
(18:28):
See, most men try to close theloop before they exit, right,
they tie everything up a cleangoodbye, a full answer, a smile
that says we're good here, right, but power doesn't come from
closing the loop.
Power lets the loop stay openon purpose, see, because
(18:50):
unfinished moments keep echoing.
So here's how you do it when atopic feels charged, let it hang
.
When a question lands deeperthan expected, you don't rush to
(19:14):
explain, right.
When a glance lingers, youdon't name it, you just let it
breathe.
And when it's time to leave,you don't summarize the moment,
you don't narrate your impact,you don't declare your presence,
you just leave space.
It's not a tactic, but it's asignature, see, because the man
(19:36):
who leaves them withoutsomething to hold is the man
they return to mentally,emotionally and unconsciously.
See, that's the echo.
It's not a quote, it's not agesture, it's a feeling that
(19:58):
they haven't finished unpackingyet.
Okay, now step three createmicro signature moments.
See, your identity.
I should say this is youridentity imprint.
Right, it's not branding, it'snot gimmicks, but it's emotional
fingerprints.
Right, it's not branding, it'snot gimmicks, but it's emotional
fingerprints.
Right, you build these by doingor saying something.
(20:22):
Right, you know you'reunusually composed, you're
quietly arresting, you'reslightly off pattern, but deeply
aligned.
See, let me give you someexamples.
You know, it's a phrase thatlingers because of how you said
(20:42):
it.
It's a question that stopssomeone mid-thought.
It's a look that isn't flirty,but it's piercing.
Right, it's a laugh that'sslower than theirs.
It's a gesture that grounds themoment without needing
commentary.
And when this is done, right,people won't remember exactly
(21:06):
what you did, but they'llremember how they felt when it
happened.
And that feeling will echo, notinstantly, but later, when they
least expect it, when theyreflect, when they visit the
interaction and realize thatthere was something there I
(21:28):
didn't catch and now I need tofind it again.
See, the echo technique, it'snot, excuse me, it's not loud,
it's not flashy, it's.
It doesn't give you applause,it doesn't spike your dopamine,
(21:48):
right, but what it does, itbuilds emotional density that
other men simply can't generate.
Right, you don't leave a spark.
What you do is you leave afield shift.
(22:16):
Right, how you becomeunforgettable by design.
Now, we're going to do a fieldtest here.
Okay, so it's going to beslowing the tempo in real time.
See, you've calibrated yoursignal, you've stopped
performing, you've learned howto build presence that lingers.
(22:36):
But now we test the hardestskill of all Can you slow down
things without losing connection?
Not by stepping back, not bydisengaging, but by becoming so
steady, so rooted in your ownrhythm, Becoming so steady, so
(23:02):
rooted in your own rhythm, thatpeople start matching your tempo
without even realizing it.
See, this is field mastery andit doesn't happen through
control, it happens throughsignal dominance.
So the challenge is this You'vegot to disrupt the tempo
without breaking the flow.
(23:25):
You walk into a conversationalready moving fast, right, so
they're talking quickly, thejokes are flying, everyone's
nodding, smiling, trying to keeppace.
Now watch what happens when youdon't join the race.
You speak slower, you pauselonger, you breathe deeper, you
(23:49):
let your gaze rest instead ofjump.
You don't fight to be heard,you let space do the work.
So you're not pulling theenergy down, you're just not
accelerating to match them andin time, they start adjusting to
(24:10):
you.
So what you're doing in this isyou're recalibrating the field.
See, most people mirror thefastest energy in the room.
You're inviting them to mirroryour stillness instead.
And this is how See you giveanswers with less decoration and
(24:32):
with more weight.
Right, you stop speaking at theend of the sentence, not past
it.
You don't feel the pause theyweren't expecting.
You hold eye contact, not todominate but to settle the
temple.
And because they're not used toit, because most people chase a
(24:56):
chaotic tempo instead ofcommanding it, they start to
feel it before they understandit.
What happens is that theirvoice starts to slow, their
blink rate changes, their breathadjusts.
See, you've changed the entirenervous rhythm of the
(25:19):
interaction without saying aword about it.
Right, and here's when to usethis In a high energy room where
presence needs to cut throughbut not compete On a date when
attraction is being chased butnot felt.
Right, or in a negotiationthat's emotionally fast but it's
(25:39):
directionless.
Right, or with someone who'sstuck in surface mode and can't
access depth.
Or when you're being evaluated,watched or subtly tested.
This is where you don't flinch,you don't chase, you don't
(26:05):
spike, you anchor.
Right, and the shift it'ssubtle, but it's seismic
charisma.
Right, you're transmittingsignal.
You're not louder, you're lower, you're slower, you're deeper,
you don't speak more, you letyour tempo become a
(26:26):
gravitational field.
Right, and that's the momentthey realize he's not trying to
be present.
He's been here the whole time.
Here's my ending thoughts onthis.
Okay, you know some men theyburn fast, they become a heat
(26:52):
that just dissipates reallyquick, but you become the heat
that stays, because you've seenboth now, right.
You've seen men that chaseattention and grasp for
validation, who spark loud,flare quickly and then vanish
just as fast.
(27:13):
Vanish just as fast.
You've seen what happens whenyou don't, when you don't rush,
when you don't over-reveal, whenyou don't perform, when your
words come slower, when yourgaze lands deeper, when your
energy says I'm not here to beseen, I'm here to leave
(27:36):
something behind.
Because slow burn isn't charisma, it's an emotional imprint.
See, it's the art of notfinishing the sentence or not
trying or not trying, tying themoment into a bow or letting
(28:00):
your presence unfold over time.
That's what you're doing, right?
This is why people think of youdays later.
This is why they check yourpage at night.
This is why they revisit theconversation, wondering why it
still has weight.
See, it wasn't what you said,it was how you carried it and,
(28:26):
most importantly, it's what youdidn't chase.
You let everyone else burnbright and fade, you let them
(28:47):
perform and be forgotten.
But you, you didn't spark, yousimmer, you expand, you settle
into their system like memory,not a message.
You don't light the fire, youbecome the temperature and once
they felt it, they can't go back.
So I want to thank you guys, so,so, so, very much, you know,
(29:12):
for listening today with this.
You know doing this series Iknow I talk about this on every
episode but, like doing thisseries especially, you know it's
it's really pulling back thethe cloth you know on on
charisma, and just realize youfollow these steps.
(29:34):
You can be very charismatic,but you don't have to do it in a
showy, flashy way.
You're doing it because it'swho you are, kind of way.
You know what I mean and I'mtelling you, once you really
understand how this works, yourlife will change for the better
almost immediately.
So really don't listen to theseepisodes.
(29:54):
Like, really implement what wetalk about here, you know,
because you deserve it.
You know you've been listeningto this for what?
30 ish minutes now.
So if you've already taken thetime to listen to this, start
implementing this stuff.
Let it change your life becauseit will All right.
So before I get into sayinggoodbye to you guys, I just want
to thank you again, as always,for all your support.
(30:17):
I guess what I'm saying isworking, because we're getting
more views and more feedback andgetting more listeners.
So thank you for sharing thiswith your friend and, if you
haven't, do them a favor andshare these episodes with them.
Let them have a way to changetheir life.
(30:37):
Okay, especially if they'restuck, because I know there's,
you know, with what's going onright now in the world, there's
a lot of stuck people.
So let them know thisinformation.
Let them change their lives.
Give them the opportunity to dothat, okay.
So, if you want to reach out tome directly, there's three ways
we can do this, okay.
First way is the chat functionon this.
So if you look on thedescription of the episodes, hey
(30:58):
, let's chat.
You click on that.
What will happen is you and Ican have a conversation.
Second way is going to bethrough my email.
My email is anthony atgentsjourneycom, so please feel
free to email me there.
And, last but not least, youcan go to my Instagram.
My Instagram handle isMyGentsJourney.
(31:23):
You'll see a lot of stuff aboutthese episodes and if you have
any questions, concerns aboutthis episode or the other 200
and plus episodes and six orseven series we're on now I'm
here to help you.
So again, thank you so much forlistening today.
And remember this you createyour reality.
Take care.