Ep. 91: Reddit Attacks

In this episode, Nick and Ashley take a deep dive on Reddit and share some attack stories told there, and discuss whether or not they think the stories being told are real or not.

If you'd like to read the AMA from Allena Hansen, check out that post here. You can see her and her dogs we mentioned here. Her book is titled Chomp, Chomp, Chomp: How I Survived a Bear Attack and Other Cautionary Tales.

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Tiktok, check out our website GetOutAlivePodcast.com and join us on Patreon (where you can now follow us for free)!

Support the show for free by leaving a 5-star review wherever you're listening, or on GoodPods or Podchaser (where we can respond to your comments).

You can find Ashley @TheAngryOlogist on Twitter or @ashleytheologist on Bluesky.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Welcome to episode ninety one of Get Out Alive, a
podcast I release whatever I guess. I'm about animal text,
why they happened, and how we can avoid them. I'm
your host, Ashley and.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Nick, and today's episode is about animal attacks, right, yeah
is it?

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Oh that's a different thing. Okay, never mind, what did
you think of? What did you ask me?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Multiple times? And I've told you multiple times?

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Yeah it's not me, that's me. Yeah, No, we're good.

Speaker 1 (00:50):
Also, I apologize for not having an episode out sooner.
I'm sick and I was getting better and then I've
for some reason the past hour I have crashed.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Also, it's like you've got a very crazy past three weeks, four.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Weeks, so yeah, that's true, starting a new job, had
an insane back problem, got sick. I'm still kind of sick.
So yeah. Anyways, so to start the year. Also, if
anyone hears animal noises, I apologize. We're recording around my
various creatures. But to start, let's start by reading a
review of the pod before we get into today's what

(01:23):
we're talking about fun. Today's review comes from three asterisks
mememe and then three asterisks again on Apple Podcast. The
title is to know them is to love them. The
review goes, I recently found this podcast and I'm working
my way through. I feel like they are my friends
and enjoy the conversation between them as much as the
stories they tell. The more I listen to them, the

(01:44):
more they feel like family. And then they put two
asterisks and said, I keep referring to the host as
them because I can't remember their names at the moment.
But I don't think they'll mind that too much.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Not not really.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
I hate it gets to the episodes that I'm not
on them. Yeah, well that sucks.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Well you're here now, I'm here and have a lot
of conversation about what we're talking about today because in
the the last episode of the Last Bonus, I don't know.
I think there's the last bonus that we did, the
one that's for free on Patreon. Also, if you are
not on our Patreon, we pause Patreon for the month
because I have a lot going on and for some reason,

(02:20):
new people can still join. Oh, so if you're joining,
just know that we're not putting out new stuff right now.
And if you're on Patreon already, you're not getting charged
for the.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
Month, So I guess you can still join is all
the stuff that we've already done free as well, Like
can people go over there and like.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
So that that's the thing. If you join at like
the five dollars level, then you have access to everything.
But we're just not putting out new stuff right now.
So if you stayed at the five dollars you still
have access. There's just no new stuff and we're not
charging people. We're not charging so if you like have
a backlog of things you want to listen to, so.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Pipl can sign up for the five dollars level for free.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
No, there's still you pay when you sign up.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Okay, I should know how Patreon works and I don't.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
You should, all right, So today's theme is one that
we've never done before and it was inspired by I
think our blessed bonus on Patreon. But today we're gonna
go over some attack stories from Reddit.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
You get mentioned stuff from ready, there's a lot.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Of stuff on there. If you are not familiar with Reddit,
how would you describe?

Speaker 2 (03:19):
Not very fact based. It's like Wikipedia, but like more
open source.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Yeah, well it's like a forum based thing on social media. Whatever.
So what we're gonna do is we're gonna go over
some attacks that I found on Reddit and then discuss
whether or not we think that they're real.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Yeah, that's always the thing with read You never know
what you're gonna get.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
There are some that I can verify are for sure,
so we'll get into it. We're gonna start with the
one of the longer ones, and with one of the
longer ones, and then do some little ones in between. Beautiful,
but this first one is like a pretty popular one
that I actually heard from another podcast, which is what
inspired me to want to do this episode. Gotcha, So
with that, let's begin. So this post is it's been

(04:08):
posted a lot over like different subreddits, but it came
originally from our slash Relationship advice and it is titled
I female thirty had to protect his niece from a
pit bull and my husband male thirty one ran off.
I have been ignoring him? Is this something that I
should be forgiving him for?

Speaker 2 (04:27):
Is there more?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Okay, I'm gonna tell you the whole story.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
I wasn't sure if that was the question. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
I'm sorry, God, imagine I just asked that. So do
you think it's real that we're doing? I can't. It's
gonna be a long one, all right, So here's the post.
I'm going to start with this. I am still a
bit traumatized, and I'll be finding someone to talk to.
And a friend made this account for me because I'm
not a frequenter. Don't know if the pit bull made it.
I haven't asked. My husband and his niece and nephew

(04:55):
and I were in our backyard. I'm going to assume
our gate was open. I can't remember. The pit bull
came out of nowhere and latched onto his niece, female five,
Nie screamed. I turned kicked the pit bull with all
the force I could manage. I was lucky enough to
hit it in the jaw somewhere that made its jaw dislodge.

(05:15):
My husband, who had been a few feet away, shouted
something along the line of whose dog is this? I
told him to get our barre spray from the house.
I was in a panic. I'm an animal lover, but
it was so insane. The pit bull seemed almost rabid.
I don't think it was. In hindsight, it wasn't foaming
at the mouth. It just seemed crazed. My husband ran,

(05:36):
but not towards the house. He literally ran out of
the fence gate and shut it behind him, not toward
his niece or nephew, who was also She said. The
nephew was also present in an outdoor bassinet that I

(05:57):
managed to all but toss onto the picnic table to
make sure it was out of the dog's reach while
holding his niece off my shoulder. I put her on
the barbecue to keep her out of reach, but the
dog was literally jumping and snapping, and I was worried
that if I tried to carry her I'm short, it
would have managed to grab her out of my hands.
It chased me when I ran for the shovel, but

(06:18):
then I swung at it, and I swung until it stopped.
I don't think I'll ever forget the sound or the feeling.
It was so high stress I didn't even realize it
had bitten me twice. I haven't spoken to him for
a full week, even though we live in the same house.
I didn't ask where he went. He only came back
a few minutes later to pack us into the car

(06:38):
and drive us to the hospital. He's getting angry that
I'm quote giving him the silent treatment, but I feel
like it's his fault that I had to possibly end
that animal if he had gotten the bare spray. I
literally keep it in my purse for if I'm ever
attacked by an animal or otherwise. Then I don't think
I would have needed to do what I did. Akay
hit it with the shovel. It was literally just inside

(06:58):
the door. He knows where I keepit. Instead, he literally
took off to god knows where me and two children
that I'm not even related to could have died. It
might not even be relevant, but I don't even like kids.
I am staunchly child free, and he is the one
that offered for us to babysit for the weekend. I
don't know is this grounds for divorce. I'm not sure

(07:20):
I can even look at him. Any attraction I had
to him is pretty much gone. He tried to touch
me yesterday just to move me so he could pass,
and I smacked his hand away without even thinking about it,
like he was some stranger at a bar, because it
was literally jarring. He's just been sulking around, trying to
talk to me, then getting frustrated than sulking more. I
wasn't expecting him to be macho and fistfight the freaking dog,

(07:41):
but at least follow instruction, at least not leave me
in a life and death situation with a toddler and
an infant. Should I be able to chalk this up
to the moment, like him panicking in the moment, I
don't even know if I want to hear him out.
That's tough.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
Yeah, that's tough. I mean, poor guy.

Speaker 3 (07:57):
I mean, like she said, it's it's a panic in
the moment type of deal. It's a fight or flight reflex,
like he flight, you know, flight flight, My boy be
flying out there. No, that's that's that's tough because I
don't want to like rag on the dude too much.
You know, Oh really, I know, I've read. I've grown
up since the first I've.

Speaker 1 (08:19):
Grown up a lot in the past month, since we've
put an episode out.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
I haven't talked about anyone in a long time. Sure,
I think I'm.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
Really surprised that this is the take that you have.

Speaker 2 (08:28):
No trust me, I've got inside thoughts.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
But I mean, you have a lot of nieces and nephews. Yeah,
can you imagine, so, okay, picture this. You're with a partner, Yeah,
you have a girlfriend or something. You have your niece
and nephew or nieces and nephews. A dog comes to
attack them, you say, hey, go call line on one,
and she runs away out of the yard to the street.

(08:51):
For some reason, You're not like, Hey, what the fuck
was that You're gonna let that happen, and be like,
I get it, you're panicking.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Knowing me, I don't know how much direction I'd be
giving in the moment. Fair well, I would not have.
I don't think I would have ran out locking a
door behind me, keeping the animal that's attacking my family,
you know, with them. Yeah, but it's one of those
things where you never know until you're in the moment.
He really should have like done something helpful, anything, anything,

(09:24):
anything helpful in terms of the relationship stuff Like that's
that's all like, no one's advice is going to help,
Like that's all personal. Like if you literally can't stand
being in the same room as them now, like if
you lost that much respect for him, like that stuff
to come back from.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yeah. So one of the top comments is from commenter
if it makes you feel better that dog would have
been considered dangerous and be put down either way, you
defended yourself and the children from an unprovoked attack. You
were so courageous and saved the kids' lives. Be proud
of yourself. And then OPI the original poster said, I
know that consciously, I think, but thank you for saying that.
I just feel so terrible.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Well yeah, I mean fuck the dog, like of course, yeah,
I got no like remorse about that.

Speaker 2 (10:04):
Yeah, And like it's it's not easy to kill things,
like she would have had to really beat the shit
out of this thing.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Like a shovel to kill a dog would have been
really tough.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
You got to swing like a big dog. Yeah. So,
like she didn't say anything about like the pipple status
when they got away, right, Like.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
No, she specifically said, I don't know what happened to it.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yeah, but she didn't say like, oh, when we eventually
made it away, it was laying on the ground convulsing. Like. No,
the dog's probably like I won't say, fine, but still
running around, you know. Yeah, And I would hope animal
control was contacted and kill something.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
Well, I mean, so the reality is if this dog
bit someone and was like actively attacking children, at the
very least it would have had been quarantined for rapies.
If we're talking about the United States because I actually
don't know. We don't know where the shirts. Yeah, but
if a dog's going after kids that bad, it's probably
gonna be put down in reality. Oh yeah, so I

(10:58):
have an update. Oh well, first of all, actually, before
I get into the update, do you think this is real?

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Uh? Yeah I do.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, I could see it too. Yeah yeah, all right,
So here's the update. My friend said that people update often,
but I don't know how to attach it to the
other post. I thought i'd updates since there have been
a few things that have happened. Kinda sorry if this
is needlessly long. I didn't expect this to get so
many comments and kindness. I want to say, I'm so
sorry to everyone that has experienced anything similar, because my god,
it has not been easy for everyone worried about my

(11:26):
mental health. I did get in through an app with
my work yesterday, so I'm as something like better help personally.
I don't know, because I decided I really needed it
and I labeled a high priority. However, it felt like
it was just a parliamentary meeting, and she said that
she wanted to get me to a feeling a bit
more comfortable because I was visibly tensing up whenever I
started talking about it, and she even noticed that through
a video chat last night. Also, I told my husband

(11:48):
I needed space. I apologize that I don't have more
of an update on our relationship than that I wasn't
as nice as I want to be. He argued and
didn't want to leave. It's my house, but I told
him I just didn't want to look at him, and
I couldn't look at him, he cried, and I hate
that I feel apathetic towards it. I haven't slept well,
so I'm not sure if I'm just overtired and still shaken,
though I was also emotionally exhausted after the appointment, so

(12:10):
that might have added to it. I got a few
questions about his sister and her husband, so I thought
i'd answer they aren't speaking to him. I don't know
when it happened. I was definitely out of it at
the hospital while I was getting the stitches and everything.
But I do think after I was done blubbering and
trying to explain how something so terrible happened to their
little girl under our watch, they apparently asked him where
he was. And I still haven't talked to him. About

(12:30):
where he went, so I don't know. However, it clearly
didn't satisfy them. His niece just got out of the
hospital yesterday, so that really triggered everything, and a lot happened.
I had sent flowers and a bear and this one
toy thing she'd been asking about. I didn't go to
the hospital though, I was scared seeing me would make
her more nervous. But his sister and her husband sent

(12:51):
me flowers too, and it made me bawl my eyes
out again. I was just a freaking mass, Honestly. The
father sent me a long message that I haven't been
able to get through, but things anyone's ever said to me.
He also sent me a one thousand dollars visa gift card.
I literally thought I was reading the amount wrong. They
are good people, and I still feel terrible I couldn't
have done more for her. Everything's just replaying in my

(13:12):
head anyway. I obviously haven't looked into filing yet, but
I am not against the idea of it. That's so tough,
and it really did help me feel better about wanting
a divorce over this. Oh. I know fight or flight
can't be helped, but now I think I realized that
it's okay not to want to be with someone who
would leave you behind.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Fair, that's absolutely fair.

Speaker 1 (13:32):
I think I can say I'm a fighter and I
want a fighter with me. Maybe he'd be better off
with a runner instead too, and he at least wouldn't
be leaving someone behind. God damn, I don't know. It
feels like I'm done, but I'm also just a mess.
So right now, I'm just glad I have space. Thank
you for everyone for making me feel like I wasn't
being ridiculous though, And I think it always feels like

(13:52):
it should be multiple issues that tear a marriage apart,
unless it's like infidelity or something. And it's like, I
know he may not have meant to tray me, but
he still did, whatever his reasoning. Not sure when I'll
be speaking to him, but I will try to update.
Then there are no more updates.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, So, like I don't know what he's supposed to
do to like come back from this.

Speaker 1 (14:12):
You know, you can't.

Speaker 3 (14:13):
You can't, No, he can't go back. No, just it's
one of those things where like you have one chance
to you know, fight.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
Yeah, I uh, I totally say where she's coming from though, Yeah,
because I mean, I don't know your perspective as a man,
Like that's one thing, But me as a woman, if
I have a partner and we have kids that were
in charge of and he runs away from me when
an animal's attacking us, I'd be like, I'd be so unattracted. Yeah,
you're such a loser.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
Correct, it's a bitch move. It's like really like.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
And I mean, like you said, you can't predict how
you're gonna act in an emergency situation, but like there's
babies involved, and.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
Again it's very fair like for her to you know,
have her feelings changed by this. Like for like, I'm
always like whenever I see these relationship advice things there
was annoying because like you don't need anyone to justify
your reasoning for when you break up somebody, Like of
course it is absolutely if you just think, all right,
I'm done, that's it. Like, yeah, don't fucking go to
the internet and ask for like, oh am I the
asshole for this?

Speaker 1 (15:12):
No, you're not an asshole, Like, yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
It doesn't mean that everything's great and like everyone's gonna
be happy about it. Yeah, but if you're not.

Speaker 3 (15:19):
No longer going to be with somebody, then you no
longer to be with somebody, no matter what you know,
the reason is.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, and as much as he can't control having run
away and well, shutting a door behind.

Speaker 3 (15:27):
That is that's that's the craziest part, because like you
have to actively like reach out and close the door.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Behind it and have the thought of, like, here, let
me close this. The dog doesn't get out like what.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
I may, even if it's just like you know, as
you're running, like swing it with your arm, like just
like reach out, retalle quick and send it.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah, so not like have at some point have a
click like, oh I just did that, I.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Locked them in.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
That's fucking wild.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah. So as much as he can't control having run away,
she can't control being not attracted to him after this
night mere scenario.

Speaker 2 (15:55):
And there is like nothing he can do about it.
Yeah that sucks.

Speaker 1 (15:58):
Yeah, No, just it really got me at the end
where she's like, he deserves to be with a runner too.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Oh my god, the shade, the shade.

Speaker 1 (16:07):
So we don't have updates beyond that. I am assuming
they probably got divorced, because that doesn't sound like she
was willing to work that hard to see through their problems.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Now I don't know.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
Yeah, I don't know how long after the attack that
these updates were happening.

Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, we don't know.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
I would hope they gave it some time to let
the emotion kind of settle down. Yeah, and you know,
like clear of minds come through when you're not traumatized.
But who the fuck knows when that's going to be.

Speaker 1 (16:35):
There was also another top comment that was op you
forgot to include the best comment. So someone quoted where
she said he argued and didn't want to leave after
she was like get out of the house, and someone said,
of course he didn't want to. There are dogs outside,
all right. So let's see the original post was from
July third, twenty twenty four, and let's see when the

(16:57):
update was. Okay, the update was only two days later.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
But that still means that the child was in the
hospital for at least like two days. At least two days,
because we don't know exactly when the attack happened.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Correct. Yeap, that's tough. That's tough.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
I'm glad everyone's okay.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Yeah, me too. Yeah, And from what I see looking
through the original posters rounding the account, there's no more update.

Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, I mean, she said, she just made it for
this post, so yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
And yeah, the last thing she said was someone asking
about therapy, and she was like, I have another session tomorrow.
That's kind of it.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
I hope she gets to help.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
She needs me too.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
This doesn't affect her, you know, feelings towards dogs forever.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Yeah, And in another comment, she did say that she
had been attacked by a dog as a kid. Damn yeah,
a German shepherd. Oh yeah, and she a bad run
moved on. Yeah, where are you at? Girl? Where are
these dogs coming from? But we can both agree we
thought that was real.

Speaker 3 (17:54):
Yeah, yeah, I mean there's just that there are a
couple of things on, Like a pit bull attacking was
every quick thing to be to have time to grab
the child player on the grill, turn around, grab a shovel.
That dog has already been on you for many, many
seconds by that point, so I'm kind of like, what
the fuck was going on for all that?

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Have you ever had a dog be aggressive towards you? Yeah,
and like trying to bite you or something.

Speaker 3 (18:15):
Nothing to the point of like this, Yeah, nothing like that,
but I mean, like dog's kind of like, hey, what
the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1 (18:20):
In my area.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
But I understood that when it was happening like so.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
Like and I forget what number episode it is when
I talked about two dogs coming after me in Penny,
but the dog that was like trying to kill Penny,
like it took breaks and I could see it like
thinking through what it was doing next. So I wonder,
which is disgusting, but I wonder if that was happening
at all, Like maybe the people was like reevaluating and
as she was like moving the kids around, maybe it

(18:45):
was like, oh, which one am I going to know?
What I mean? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (18:48):
What I want to you first?

Speaker 1 (18:49):
Yeah? All right. This next one comes from our slash
ask reddit and was titled and We'll tax survivors, what's
your story? Ooh fun? This was the top. So no,
this is from redditor mister doodles.

Speaker 2 (19:10):
What.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
This was four years ago and they started out, so
brace yourself. This one is weird. I used to travel
for hospital work, super fun, highly recommend it, usually thirteen
week contracts. One contract I had was in Honolulu, Hawaii,
which was fucking amazing. I swam daily and hiked a lot.
One such hike, I decided to go up the mountain

(19:32):
right behind the city. When you're on the Waikiki Beach,
look directly inland, that big mountain that's almost always got
cloud cover in a rainbow, hence the license plate. That's
what I climbed. On the way back down, I came
across a mother hen in about six chicks like chickens
in the jungle, totally at a left field. I didn't
press and as they took off into the woods. So

(19:52):
I went to work. Asked some coworkers and they responded, ooh,
those are jungle foul. Don't mess with them. Oh shit,
jungle fowl. Come on, man, I know they're feral chickens,
but like I grew up with chickens. We used to
have roosters too. They'd protect the hens from foxes and raccoons.
Problem was they'd protect the hens from us too. We

(20:13):
used to have a rooster we literally named Nightmare. I
can handle a chicken, even an angry one. Next hike,
I decide I'm going to Manoa Falls by taking a
crazy way out of the way route, which was fucking baller.
By the way, total hike length was twelveish miles. Roughly
halfway through the hike, I run into some switchbacks. Going

(20:34):
up steep hill, I reached the top and I see him,
a rooster in his flock of hens. They're all crossing
the path behind him, and he looks at me and
gets this, It's go time, motherfucker. Look he charges right
at me. He's not too big, so I'm like, yeah, whatever.
When a rooster attacks, they try to scratch you with
these spurs that go out of the back of their

(20:55):
feet as they fly right at you, So you kind
of roughly push them off and they get the message
and give you right of way. At least that's how
it should go. This guy kept coming at me relentlessly,
so I start backing off, getting away from the hens,
so he's less threatened, but he still kept coming. We
fought backwards down three layers of switchbacks to for what

(21:15):
felt like half an hour, but I'm sure it was
only a few minutes. And finally I get to a
point where I'm thinking, I'm going to have to kill
this thing to get it off my case. And something
strange happened. The very moment I decided this, he very
suddenly stopped. We sort of stood there looking at each
other for a moment. Then he gives kind of like
a book, like, yeah, that's right. Look, I have no idea,

(21:35):
I'm assuming that's what this guy meant. And he runs
off the hill, leaving me all scratched up. So I
sat there for a few to give him space, and
decided that since I'm halfway through, I might as well
finish the hike. On the way, I saw other hikers
look at me, to which I responded, ooh, man, don't
mess with a jungle thowl thoughts. That's fun.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
I like that one.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
I think it's real. Yeah, I feel like it'd be
weird to make up a story about a chicken attacking Yeah.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, And it kind of seems like realistic enough, Like,
I mean, I'm sure the rooster just backed him down
to the point where it's like, all right, the rest
of the chickens have moved on somewhere else, and now
he needs to go, yeah, find them, you know. Yeah,
you can't just fight this dude forever, because then we'll
have a fucking fight a flock. Yeah, so yeah, I
believe it. And you know, roosters are fucking assholes, that's true,
big old pricks. Yeah, how about you, do you think

(22:24):
it's right?

Speaker 1 (22:24):
Yeah, I'd say so.

Speaker 2 (22:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
Yeah, this doesn't feel like that crazy for me to
like have made it up. No, then again, I feel
like I'm kind of gumble and I'll just be like, oh.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, and there's not like did the
injuries don't sound exaggerated, like it's kind of.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
You even really say specific injuries.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
Scratch Yeah, yeah, I scratched him a little bit, backed
him down, just kind of. I'm sure he was trying
to keep the space like he's not you know, in
the middle of a fucking fist fight. Yeah, it was
not the fucking the dude who had a choke on
a mountain lion, you know, yeah, that was That's a story.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
I just it's a tangent. But now that I work
up close with mountain lions, guys, I you know, it's
one thing to saying this to Nick earlier, So sorry Nick,
but it's one thing to like talk about these stories
and say like, oh, yeah, mountain lion attack this person,
they did this, But like to see an angry mountain
lion up close is insane. Like I just had one

(23:16):
snarling like within inches of my face, and I have
no idea how anybody survives it.

Speaker 2 (23:21):
They're not even kill mode.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
No, and these ones that I'm with, I don't know
how to kill things. They've never been taught. So I'm like,
can you imagine what it's like to be with one
that knows what they're doing? Like, I can't. I cannot imagine.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
You just got to You've got a fucking fight for
your life.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
Like, And I don't think i'd make it. Really, I wouldn't, I.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Must from the dog story. Wouldn't make it for sure. Yeah,
now he'd be.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Fun, he'd be running. Yeah, they can jump over gates.
They won't help you now on the lugger, all right,
Moving on to the next one. The next one is
from our slash Hiking Alberta from a year.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Ago asking This one's from Jeremy No.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Asking people to share their barn counter or attack stories.
This is from Redditor wy Way c A d M
two to one from one year ago. I've outlined my
bear charge here before. In twenty sixteen, my hunting buddy
and I were tracking a couple of bachelor bucks white
tail about twenty kilometers from where this attack occurred. We
were right behind the deer. We were after maybe two

(24:19):
hundred meters when they went into a line of trees
and ease willow scrub brush. Ease willow scrub brush. That
sounds like a plant. Sure, I'm assume so, yeah, I
already believe this is real because I'm like, I don't
know what that is.

Speaker 2 (24:31):
This guy knows more than you know facts, or he's
making it up in fake Oh.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yeah, thankfully. I had a round chamber to my rifle
and was prepared to take a shot at the deer
within seconds as we got into the trees, an adult
black bear bore. We found out later he was two
hundred and seventy pounds, stuck his head up about forty
feet away in the willow tangle, popped his jaws twice,
and then charged at us. I was and still am,

(24:56):
astounded at how fast he came through that tangled brush. Afterward,
we tried to walk through it and couldn't. He came
through it like it was open ground. I did not
even have time to fully shoulder my rifle and he
was about twelve feet away. I fired, hit him in
the face, and he dropped and slid, stopping on the
toe of my boot. We discovered later he had minutes

(25:19):
before take him down a deer. When we got in there,
he was on the ground still killing it. He heard
us and charged, protecting his kill. We had no idea
he was there. It is grizzly country and black bears
generally will not be anywhere near them. We had spray,
always do, and have had a number of encounters over
the years, all bluff charges. We were surprised we hadn't

(25:41):
smelled him. Bears tend to stink a bit and you
can often smell them or they're scat. But we think
he was likely traversing through the area and got lucky
stumbling on a deer. This was a little later in
the year than now, early November.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
I want your thoughts on this before I doove mine.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
Oh yeah, I believe that. You believe it, I'll take it, eh,
I don't.

Speaker 3 (25:59):
Yeah, I'm scot but I don't know, alright. I just
like black bears in grizzly country. You're like, black bears
are on divorce, but I don't know they are they
hunting and taking down deer.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Like yeah, in grizzly country, not often, but yeah, yeah, yeah,
I think if the opportunity presents itself, that's fair. Yeah,
that's fair.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
That's yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:20):
Okay, once again, I'm global. But yeah, the bear killing
the deer is not the crazy part to me.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
No, yeah, but that is that's tough. I mean it's
a fucking out of nowhere bear comes chargeant now you yeah?

Speaker 1 (26:35):
How yeah, and make that shot right at the face.

Speaker 2 (26:39):
That's just yeah, that's luck. I mean you don't practice that.

Speaker 3 (26:41):
There's no practicing a fucking hip shot with the fucking
bolt action like no, yeah, fucking call of duty style.

Speaker 1 (26:46):
Actually do have another comment from that same post?

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Oh? Perfect, Yeah, I would lie with way. I want
more info.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
Oh, it's actually not about it's another attack. Oh yeah,
also posted a year ago by mister Chieves. They said
the deer was nineteen ninety seven, great year. Yeah, hey,
the year is nineteen ninety seven summer. The location a
ten year old cut block an hour or so east
of High Level. I'm assumed this is all Alberta. I'm

(27:12):
assuming that makes sense to whoever lose there, but it
doesn't make sense.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
To be I think a cup block would be like
a section of trees that's been cut down for logging
and now it's growing back ten years later.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
Like you just tolting made that up, But sure I
believe it.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
It just kind of what would make sense.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Okay, great. I was working to survey planted trees regrowth
with another forest worker.

Speaker 2 (27:29):
Okay, what you said, It's perfect.

Speaker 1 (27:33):
The block was big enough, with standing aspen left behind.
It was only harvested for pine and spruce. The other
guy went to the east side and I went west.
I came out of a little draw and approached a
copse of green alder with some aspen towering over top.
I already believe the story. Visibility was only about fifteen
meters or so with thick bushes. I hear screech, the

(27:57):
sound of claws on bark, ascending rapidly. I look up
at the taller aspen and see three black fluffs climbing
as fast as they can. Uh oh, cubs, Oh oh.
I was wearing a red cloth vest, which we know
animals do not like. No, not red, with my surveying
kit and a can of bear spray in a zippered
back area. Spotting cubs means sow. My hand moves automatically

(28:21):
to the zipper. It comes down and I find the
handle spray. Miraculously. I have time in this flash to
say out loud, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, and
get the spray in front of me as the sow
sprints out of the bush straight towards me. I set
off the spray and the blast hits her no more
than ten feet away from me. She tastes the air
and sits down, looking about. I say, in a gentle voice,

(28:44):
it's okay, mama, I'm leaving. And I keep repeating this
as I back away slowly back into the draw, making
a wide circle around where she was, and may for
where my partner is working. The story doesn't end here.
I caught up to the guy. He has done a
few more seasons than me. He tells me, black Bear, Oh,
they aren't a big deal. You just shout at them
when they run away, no problem. And I'm like, yeah,

(29:04):
I'm not working by myself in this block today, and
he's like, okay, just hang with me. It's cool. So
we keep working. We climb up a little rise and
get to see most of the block. Approaching the edge
of the block, the opposite side, where our quads are parked.
About five hundred meters away are the sow and her
cubs just ambling along. My partner says, is that them? Yep?
So he says, watch this, hey, you fucking bear. Get

(29:27):
out of here. Go on. The sow looks in our direction, pauses, squints,
then her cubs take off into the bush and she charges.
We stand there dumbfounded. Then my partner says, yeah, I
think we're done for the day and high tail it
back to our quads the end.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
Fuck around and find out, right, yep, fuck around and
find out. Yeah, god damn.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Those are good instincts though, Like, see the cubs raptory immediately?
Is the bear spreadstincts?

Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, the coworker not great instincts.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
You might be a little bit too comfortable out there. Yes,
I agree. Blackbirds are generally big fat babies.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Yeah, but you don't fuck with the mom and our cubs.

Speaker 1 (30:08):
No, you also don't like scream at them.

Speaker 2 (30:11):
You do, you do. It's not like they understand you,
like you can say what the fuck you want?

Speaker 1 (30:15):
May be sure they get hey, you fucking bear. And
she was like, oh, excuse me, excuse me in front
of my children.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
You could disrespect me here in my home.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah pretty much.

Speaker 3 (30:23):
Yeah, that's no, that's funny. I'm glad again. Everyone's okay.
So I'm happy about that. Yes, yeah, yeah, I believe it.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, I believe.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
I believe it absolutely.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
I believe it all right. This next one is from
our slash Wilderness Backpacking. The post was titled who on
here has been charged by a grizzly bear and can
share their experience? Two years ago muted underscore performance nine
to four said not me. My dad in the late eighties.
He was pheasant hunting in Saint Ignacious, Montana. His dog

(30:56):
in front of him was working on flushing birds, got
between a grit sow and her cub. The dog led
that bear right back to my dad. My dad shot
the bear three times a bird shot, which that's if
anything that may make it worse, it's off. Yeah, first
shot twenty feet.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Second shot twenty feet, second.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
Shot ten feet. Last shot. He had to turn the
gun upside down and shot the bear in its hump. Huh,
like the hump of its like shoulder.

Speaker 2 (31:28):
Why is he turning up? It's because it's on top
of him, like maybe, how are you doing?

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Yeah? Oh yes, because the next sentence is the bear
proceeded to maul my dad.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Oh my god, yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Claude his back, chewed on his arms and scalped him.
His scalp flapped up over his eyes. At this point,
my dad was saying his prayers and wishing he would
have gone to church that day instead of hunting. He
was also thinking about his first child on the way
my sister. The bear then managed to get his head
in her mouth to finish him. He heard a loud
crunch and that was it. The bear then walked away

(32:02):
and my dad played dead for a short while. It
turned out one of his first two shots hit the
bear's face and fractured its jaw, which completely broke when
biting down on his head. Wow. My dad walked back
to the property owners home, knocked on her door, and
she answered, you've been shooting my bears. She also called
nine on one and my dad was life flighted to Missoula.

(32:26):
My dad was later sued by the tribal government for
killing a bear that they were tracking with radio collar
and for being their sacred animal. He ultimately countersued in one,
but he never got the bear's hide, which like, yeah,
no shud. Last he heard it was at the tribal
Chamber of Commerce. My dad is still kicking it and
has one hell of a story that I like sharing.

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Wow, I don't know if I believe that one.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
As much, especially like the what you got sued for
shooting a bear that's attacking you?

Speaker 3 (32:54):
I bet Yeah, there could definitely be more to that story.
If he was poaching, then I can imagine that the
the locals wouldn't appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (33:06):
But if he had bird shot, like he's obviously not have.

Speaker 2 (33:08):
A great point. That's a great point. He wouldn't.

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Yeah, he wouldn't be out there looking to kill fucking
bears with bird shot.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
Now the one shot twenty feet one shot ten feet,
I think that's exaggerated.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
I don't think that's true. Yeah, that's a very close distance.

Speaker 3 (33:20):
I mean yeah, and if you're using a shotgun, like
it takes a decent amount of time for the whole
action to kind of reset, so like you're not firing enough.

Speaker 2 (33:28):
You know, it's it's not an AAR fifteen.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (33:31):
So, and bears are fucking quick, as we've learned through
many many stories. Yeah, it can cover ten feet way
faster than I think.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
A round could.

Speaker 3 (33:39):
Cyclegun. I do think once again, compaction is it semiato?
Are you allowed to hunt with semiato for pheasants? So
you just heard what I think it's I think you
have to use pumper.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
Yeah, that sounds right.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
I could be wrong. I don't know, you.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
Probably are, Yeah, I think it is hard to tell
like size and distance when those things are happening.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Absolutely so, absolutely so that's like, if that's the only
detell at the distances that has you shot this bear,
you know.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
I'll take it exactly. Yeah. Yeah, No, that's terrifying. I'm
glad he's okay.

Speaker 1 (34:11):
Yeah, but to.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Fucking it is it's unbelievable that the fucking bears jaw
would snap. Yeah, like that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
She's trying to kill you.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Yeah. So that was the third shot, right.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
I think the second one or the first when he
shot it in the face, which is incredible.

Speaker 4 (34:28):
Yeah, with bird shot breaking, that's very lucky.

Speaker 3 (34:32):
Which is again take away the grainsault, Yeah, because that's
a lot like shot doesn't pack that much for a punch.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
No, when you are going for a pheasant and then
end up with.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Grizzly yea, and it's a fucking bears jaw, grizzly bears jaw, Like, oh,
I believe the dog bringing it back though it happened
to dog.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
Yeah, where the dog? Where the dog go? There's this
little bitch dog that's.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Leaving your ran off with the other guy.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Shut the fence, close the car door behind it.

Speaker 2 (35:03):
They've loaded up into the cards.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
Are cough? All right? Here's another comment from that same thread.
This is by Layner's sab posted a year ago. Hey,
I've been charged by a grizzly bear in the Yukon.
Five years ago. I've been sent with a water plane
with a little crew in a remote area in the
Yukon that burned the year before to buy and pick

(35:25):
morel mushrooms. Interesting. The first time I met the bear
who the first time first time we met. The first
time I met the bear was a few days after
we arrived and set up camp. A couple days later,
as I was picking with my partner and my dog,
he chased my dog. Common theme here, yep. They chased
each other for a while before I stupidly decided to

(35:46):
call my dog in the hope that grizzly would leave.
My dog came to me, but the grizzly decided to
follow him. He charged me and my wife, who was
beside me, charged us four to five times, running away,
then coming back running in circles around us. We freaked out, obviously. Yeah,
We tried to scam away by raising our hand. Trying
to make us as big as possible wasn't effective. My

(36:06):
dog stayed with me after I called them back beside
me or between me and the grizzly. I had bear spray,
but when the grizzly was charging, my dog was always
between me and the bear, so I didn't use the spray.
That bear was so close we thought we would die.
My wife, after several charges from the bear, as he
was only a few meters from us, started crying and
begged him to leave us alive. Jesus, he left ran

(36:27):
away for real, He freaking left, stood on a stump
one hundred meters or so away. We were shaking as
falling leaves, so scared, so lucky to be alive, so
speechless the security of my bear spray being off. I
sprayed myself by inadvertence. While we were walking back to
the camp. Scared as we've never been scared, we wanted
to leave. We were not able to leave the camp

(36:49):
to pick mushrooms. We were pretty much traumatized, but also accepting,
also in a weird happy state. Somehow feeling strong, we
decided to stay and go back in the bush with respect,
a lot of fear and caution. This was the most
scary but also the most beautiful experience I had with
bear so far, one of the strongest experiences of my life.
I still think about that bear very often.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Is there a second time you met the bear?

Speaker 1 (37:10):
No, it doesn't. The same thing about like it just said,
the first time I met the bear was a few
days after we were out of the camp. A couple
of days later this happened.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
Okay, so they probably like saw it somewhere around like,
but didn't have like any of the yea, which, how
long were you letting your dog, yeah, around with a
fucking grizzly bear?

Speaker 1 (37:26):
The way that it was.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
This whole thing is weird.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Yeah, this one, I I don't know, not that I
don't believe it's true, but like, why are you letting
your dog run around.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
With a grizzly It seems like a lot of stupid
decisions going on.

Speaker 1 (37:35):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Why?

Speaker 1 (37:36):
First of all, why bring the dog?

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (37:38):
Yes, why are you your wife and your dog out
from fucking mushrooms without a gun?

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (37:45):
Without a gun?

Speaker 1 (37:46):
But yeah, fair well, Hey, as we learned from thelast story,
potentially you could get.

Speaker 3 (37:49):
Sued so yeah, I'd rather get soued than die or
watch my dog die or my wife die.

Speaker 1 (37:54):
That's fair.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
Yeah, sue me, okay, Like, yeah, fucking all right, I'm alive. No,
that's I am a big believer that I wouldn't want
to go anywhere remote in brown bear or grizzly country.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Yeah, without a fucking gun.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
Yeah, Like, I think that's probably the standard nowadays.

Speaker 2 (38:12):
I would hope. So yeah, I mean I've done a
few hikes out in California stuff in a mountainline country
without a weapon, but like, I don't think that's the
same thing as a fucking grizzly bear.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Yeah, because it seems hot take seems like you have
more time with bears.

Speaker 4 (38:29):
That's exact mountain exactly. I mean, because a mountaine is
sneaking up an ambush yeah fast, Yeah yeah, that no,
that's I don't I don't like this story.

Speaker 1 (38:40):
Yeah, it's my least favorite so far.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I
like you said, I don't know if I say it's not real.
But it seems like some dumb decisions were made.

Speaker 1 (38:48):
That's a lot of what the show is.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:51):
Yeah, um, we got to learn from other people's mistakes.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Yeah, so guys, if you're going to the Yukon to
pick morel mushrooms, don't bring your dog, but bring your gun.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Or if you're gonna bring your dog, yeah, and don't
let it chase around the fucking.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Grizzly Yeah, maybe keep it on a long lead. I don't.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
I don't understand that. I don't. That's really weird to me.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah, like I would be if my dog was running
around the fucking grizzly bear, Like I'd be petrified.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Like yeah, but yeah, I've seen a video recently and
I posted it on our Facebook of a I think
it was Oh man, was it a black bear or
a brown bear? It might have been a brown bear,
but someone's Rottwiler was in their front yard. It's like
successfully scared away a bear from well, yes, but like
the technique the dog had of how to like keep
it away, like they were saying they had trained this

(39:39):
dog of what to do if there's a bear around.
Oh no way. First of all, didn't know that you
could do that. But that's if you live in bear
country or taking your dog somewhere, you should maybe do
some training on like, hey, if you're surrounded by a
large predator. Yeah, keep it over there.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Well, I mean like dogs that run bears would learn these. Yes,
I've seen no reason why you couldn't teach a store rotwiler.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Yeap. I also will say another tangent back to my job,
because this is a podcast about me. Now it always
has been, Yeah, well, we can train animals to do
most anything.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
Tell them about the fish.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, we have fish at work that we could train.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
That's what's crazy, it's really weird.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
Yeah, we have a bear that we've trained to give
us both of his paws and open his mouth, and
like there's other zoos that train all animals to do
all sorts of things.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
That's just so we're clear. You're not actually holding the
bear's pause like he's putting up on a show.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
Yeah, yeah, just so.

Speaker 2 (40:30):
We're clear, it's not like a dog.

Speaker 1 (40:31):
Yeah, very clear, good zoos, you're not going in with
these animals whatever.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
But I had a whole lot of contact going on.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
Yeah, but it has reinforced for me, like you can
really train your animals to do anything. If you have
enough like positive reinforcement with food or whatever your animal likes,
you can really train them to do anything. So you
could train your dog to keep bears away from you.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
Absolutely no, I mean we have fucking working dogs out there,
like finding bombs and like helping.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Them find people.

Speaker 3 (40:52):
And yeah, yeah, we can teach the techniques to you know,
not die.

Speaker 1 (40:55):
They're even rats that find the bombs that are buried underground.
E D's right. Yeah, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (41:04):
I don't know that. Maybe you you Yeah, that's it
was the idea.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
I'm not gonna lie. I sometimes say I U D and.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
That's I thought, Yeah I could.

Speaker 1 (41:13):
I was like about it. Uh uh E for explosive,
you for your rats? Yeah? Is that crazy count of
small the explosives? Yeah, let them loose.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Oh you know what, this would be a terrible idea
and very you know, not humane at all. Great to
find land mines in like third world.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Countries, that's literally what I'm talking about. Well, Landman's and
I D's are different.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
What's the difference.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
One idea is an improvised explosive device. A lamdmine is
a lamdmine is mass produced.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
Oh yeah, that's what I'm not gonna lie. I knew
east of explosive, I didn't know it was improvised oh yeah, oh.

Speaker 2 (41:47):
Improvised explosive device. Yeah, so it's like we're all learning. Yeah,
you can make that out of a lot of different things.

Speaker 1 (41:53):
Hm hmm.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:54):
Okay, So maybe it's the land mines we're looking.

Speaker 3 (41:56):
For that would that would make a lot of sense.
And it was like, let the the fucking rats blow up.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yeah yeah, or they find them and you get rid
of them.

Speaker 2 (42:04):
That'd be more dangerous.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
Oh well, but then if you put all the work
in the training the rat, it's a good point. Yeah, yeah,
it's a really good point. Then you're losing out on
the rats. Yeah. Well, anyways, I'll find that article, I'll
poster rats. I'll post a thing about uh landmine rats.
That's cool. All right, let's move on to our last story.
So this last one's kind of a combo. So I'm
gonna read the story itself, kind of like a brief version,

(42:30):
but then the like Reddit post associated with it, if
that makes sense. July twenty two, two thousand and eight,
was just another day for Elena Hansen. So she and
her two dogs went to an area on her seventy
acre property in the mountains outside of Bakersfield, California, and
she was putting up a vineyard, so like making this

(42:51):
property into a vineyard. She was a single mom of
one college aged son, and she was like, obviously, as
a single mom, pretty used to doing stuff on her own.
So on this day, she was working on making a
well on her property, and as she came out from
the well she was working on, she startled a black bear.
She remembers in the one second before either the move,

(43:12):
she was like, uh oh, and then the bear was
on her. She said quote, I heard chomp, chomp, chomp.
I felt it bite through my skull. I hear kind
of like a squishy, crunchy pop, and I went, there
goes my eye.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh god.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
Then it got hold of my face and I could
feel it tearing off. One of the worst moments was
watching that little bugger spit my teeth out. Oh god, yeah,
what the fuck this moment. Elena was only like one
hundred pounds, and like a two year old black bear
is usually around like two hundred, so we're assuming this
is like an adult ish bear, so easily over one

(43:47):
hundred pounds.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Oh god, so.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
Either her weight or more than her So as this
is happening, she managed to dig her thumb into the
bear's eye, causing it to loosen its grip, and that moment,
one of her dogs, a huge mastiff ironically named Decoy Nice,
lunged at the bear, and Elena says quote, I remember

(44:09):
thinking that if my dog was willing to offer his
life to save me, the least I could do was
try to live. Oh fuck. Yeah. So she managed to
free herself as Decoy was helping her, and she stumbled
down a brush covered trail for half a mile back
to her truck. When she got there, Decoy was already there.
He was waiting for her at the truck. Great dog, see,
you can try him to do anything. As she got

(44:32):
into the truck and started it up, she looked at
herself in the rear view mirror and said quote, I
was surprised to see I was still wearing my white
baseball cap. It was askew and bloody, but amazingly it
was still on. And then a beat later, she goes,
then I realized that cap was my scalp.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Oh fuck.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
So she gave herself a few more seconds to look
at herself and be like, well, gross, and then drove.
She drove a few miles to a mountain fire station,
when she got out of the truck. Several firefighters rushed
to her aid and kept her from falling into shock
while they called a helicopter to take her one hundred
and twenty three miles Jesus to the Ronald Reagan UCLA

(45:13):
Medical Center emergency department. She said, one of the firemen
is holding me up from behind so I don't fall
down and asperate my own blood. And he's going, you're
doing great, just hang on, and she told him, no,
I'm not. We both know I'm not going to make it,
so just go easy on yourself, okay, And she said
the guy was so grateful for being able to laugh,

(45:33):
which that's tough. Well, I'm not gonna make it, so
go easy on yourself.

Speaker 3 (45:38):
Yeah, no, no, it's it's a big thing with people
who are in these situations, like you need to be
able to keep it light, which sounds weird, but like no,
mentally a huge think.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
Jeremy talked about that too, right, yeah, when he same
situation after being attacked by the grizzly, was like, yeah,
it was like cracking jokes asthma going fishing.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Yeah, yeah, I mean you got it. Survivor's mentality, you know, yeah, like, oh, well,
fucking is what it is. Keep it moving.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
So at EUCLA, doctors operated on Elena for six hours,
but they were able to save her face and her eye,
but she would never look the same. Of course, she said.
Whatever shock that she had first felt after seeing herself
after surgery was offset by her happiness to be alive.
She says, the scar from the claw that shows I
literally kissed a bear on the bear lips. These scars

(46:21):
are harder and trophies for what I've been through. There's
actually something I can be grateful for, and I am
proud of them. I can go talk to little girls
and say I'm still beautiful even with these. So the
reason I found this story was because this is one
of the most popular, Like, asked me anything, was on Reddit,
So it's from our slash I am a And it
was posted twelve years ago by her and it was

(46:43):
titled I was mauled by a bear, fought it off
and drove four miles down a mount with my face
hanging off. Asked me anything. So she gives like kind
of a brief background, like, hey, you know I was
doing this, I got attacked and I drove to the
fire station whatever. Five years and dozen surgeries later, I'm
back to some semblance of my original self. Here's a
book I wrote, So she wrote book, I will put
it in an episode description, and then she like posts some

(47:03):
other stuff with like pictures and whatnot. So she said
here I am ask me anything. So the top comment
what was going through your mind as you drove back
down the mountain? And Elena said, for one thing, I
didn't expect to make it down the mountain, so there
was an air of surreal about it, sort of like
a crazed Disney ride. But mostly when I realized that
I might indeed make it to the fire station, there

(47:24):
was an enormous sense, an enormous sense of elation. Another
person asked, how did you deal with the whole ordeal
after your first operation emotionally and physically? She said, well,
I wrote a book. Surprisingly, I didn't have the expected nightmares, flashbacks,
panic attacks, et cetera that one might have expected. Mostly
I was so stoked at the incredible job that doctor

(47:44):
Lee had done on my reconstruction. I felt like I'd
been letting everyone down if I didn't do my damns
to heal and recover physically. I had to relearn how
to speak, eat, even breathe properly. But through it all.
I was motivated by wanting to let people know that
if I, a little old lady like me could survive
something like this, could they. And then someone commented on that,
pretty sure you scared off any nightmares you would have had.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
No, I mean that's the thing that like therapists say though,
like writing down your traumas can help you get through
it all. Yeah, so writing a book about it like
that might be the best thing that you know, survivors
can do for some people. Obviously, it depends on who
you are. But she clearly is not the you know,
we were talking earlier about the fighting flight. She's not
a flight.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
She's not the run away.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
No, no, no, she's she's a fighter. Like that's really cool.
That's whatal we impressed with. Good for her, like to
keep that mentality.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
Is yeah, awesome. Yeah. I find that a lot of
people that a'm go an attacked by bears like Jeremy
Evans that we keep referring to, like a lot of
them write books.

Speaker 3 (48:40):
Yeah, okay, why wouldn't you? I mean, you have an
experience that not many people ever will don't want to, Yeah,
and like you should share it.

Speaker 1 (48:47):
Yeah, and if you live might as well. Absolutely so.
Someone said, is there anything you can compare that kind
of pain to She said, no, having a baby was
a piece of cake in comparison. Maybe like being smacked
in the face by an anvil. Jesus. And then someone said,
if I ever found myself being attacked by a bear,
what advice would you give me? She said, If it's
a grizzly bear, play dead. If you're in California it's
a black bear, fight back with everything you've got because

(49:09):
it's trying to kill you. If it's a polar bear,
you're fucking yeah.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
There we go.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
Someone else asked, did you have that moment of seeing
your life flash before your eyes? She said, no, nor
did I see Jesus, But I knew that this was
the moment of my death and it pissed me off enormously,
so much in fact, that inspired me to fight back,
which turned out to be the right decision.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
I think, Yeah, I mean, I think that's the biggest
that we take out of it, is like this survival
mentality has to be fucking drilled into you know.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
Yeah, you gotta be stubborn, you gotta be stubborn about it.
I'm not going to fucking die today.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Yeah, not like this.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
Be a stubborn motherfucker. And she seems to be that's all.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
Yeah, which is great. Yeah. And someone asked what was
the drive to the fire station, like for you, what
was going through your head? And this may sound strange,
but did you listen to music?

Speaker 2 (49:55):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (49:56):
She said, it was like the wackiest Disney ride ever,
which we've said before. Alternated between elation and despair, but figured,
what the heck, it's not likely to live through this anyways,
so here's my one chance to drive like a total
dickhead with him people. Fortunately, the dirt track was so
remote that the likelihood of running into anyone else approaching
was nil.

Speaker 2 (50:13):
Imagine like surviving the bear attack and then get into
a car accident.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
That'd be such a bummer. Frankly, I expected to go
careening over the cliff side, so I just spun the
wheel and stomped on the brakes as the spirit moved me.
No music, just my maniacal laughter echoing off the canyon wall.
Oh yeah, And someone asked how much were your medical bills?
She said, my crappy insurance company only covered about twenty
percent of what I needed done, so I'll be paying

(50:36):
these bills off for the rest of my life. So far,
expenses have been about three hundred thousand in counting. Actually
not as much un expected really.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
I mean, she said, it doesn't.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Like it's basically a total facial construction.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, the fucking medical shit is insane.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Someone said, if you were to do something to prevent
this from happening to you again, what would you do?
She said, When I'm outside now, I watch my six
It was something of a fluke, as black bears rarely
attack human beings. But my tomboy girlfriends, who like to
run a bike in the back country, learned a valuable
lesson from this. We all make sure we go out
with a dog or two now in Stalert. Personally, I
spend a lot of time looking up into the trees

(51:12):
for lions. Yeah. Someone else asked, what have you learned
most from this experience? Do you have a different outlook
on this life, on life because of this happening? She said,
to persist as to the second part of your question,
I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm a bit
more wary of wild places, which ruined some of the
sanctity I used to find there, and I resent that.
But mostly I'm the same person. I've always been, just

(51:33):
a little lumpier, just a little lump heier. Someone said,
did you quit your job at the ranch? Has this
change your perspective on animals? Did you provoke the animal
or have any idea I attack you? She said, My
ranch is my job. I can't quit it. I have
to admit the whole misadventure has made me a lot
more wary of animals with big teeth. We tend to

(51:53):
take for granted that they're not going to kill us.
Sometimes that's just not true. I think it was a
predatory attack by a desperate creature. It's probably hungry, disoriented
from the recent wildfire, and taking a territorial stand. It
certainly knew I was there and it had been stalking me.
Probably figured I was an easier dinner than a deer,
which has hooves and antlers and can outrun it. Little
old ladies aren't supposed to fight back. Fair.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
Yeah, this is gonna be a thing that we might
be saying, you know, and then your future with all
the fires from California right now, like yeah, just those
animals gotta go somewhere, and La is right there, like
they're gonna have to There's gonna be interactions, you know,
and even if it's not like immediately right now, the
next you know, coming months and years, there's how many
hundreds of acres I've been destroyed. Yeah, there's mountainlines on

(52:36):
those woods. It's black bears in those.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
Woods, those woods. Yeah, they're gonna have to go somewhere.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
Yeah, and they're gonna be looking for water because it's
gonna be a lot of those fucking water sources that you.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Think the pollution those fires are causing too, like for
the ocean. And it's I mean obviously the people who
are displaced in like dying.

Speaker 2 (52:52):
Awful crazy, it's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Yeah, I just it's so devastating.

Speaker 3 (52:56):
Like this area Bakersfield is like right by where I was,
so I know that area fairly well.

Speaker 2 (53:01):
Cook those mountains and everything, like they're they're dry, like
they are think think things are not you know, going
great for the forests of California. You know, in the
past several years they actually so part of like what's
going on these wildfires, Like in the past year they've
had an above average rainfall, so a lot of stuff
grew and then it dries out and that was a

(53:22):
lot more fuel for the fires. Yep. So good news.

Speaker 3 (53:26):
A lot of the water reservoirs are above their average levels,
which is good for fighting the fires. Bad news, it's
hard to get fucking get it there. Yeah, of course,
really hard to get the water. Yeah, which I kind
of keep saying. You know, people freaking out about not
being able to put the fires out, Like, I don't
think that a lot of respect is being put on.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
You know how hard it is.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Oh yeah, ugh, he is back to this just a
few more. Someone asked, did it seem to go in
slow motion or was it more like a quick motion
of you sticking it's sticking its eye with your thumb
and getting away. She said, everything happened in real time,
no distortions at all. Well, I knew that I should
survive this. I'd have one hell of a story to tell,
so I made the conscious decision to note remember every

(54:05):
possible details. I write it all down if I made
it out of there. So I did. Someone said, how
have you recovered physically? Sorry to ask this, but what
specific injuries or damage did you actually suffer. She said,
if you didn't know about the attack and saw me
in the street, you probably wouldn't even look twice. Kimberly
Lee is one hell of a good plastic surgeon, but
I suffered some pretty gruesome injuries to my face and head.
In fact, in the er pictures, you can't even tell

(54:28):
I'm a human being. I've had doctors look at the
picture and turn it around to figure out where the
face is. And basically what happened is that the bare
charge grab me by the ears and bit into my face.
In doing so, it destroyed the bridge of my nose,
tore off my ears, chewed out fourteen teeth Jesus, and
much of my upper gums and palette. It also ripped

(54:49):
off my lips and tore apart my face and scalp.
Kimberly Lee estimated that she put in over a thousand
stitches into my head and face during the first surgery.
Linked to this post on Reddit because she links to
some images, so she posts pictures of her right after
surgery and her today, and some ear picks.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Are there, like photos like the ones we got from Germy.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
I have not looked and I don't want to. After
seeing the pictures of Jeremy's face after he got attacked.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
I'm all said, I definitely want to look into that.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Well, I'll send you the link.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
What, just let me see her computer in a couple minutes.
We're not recording all the.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Time, all right, okay, last one, When you first got
to the fire station, what did you say and do?
What did your dogs do once you called them over?
And did they survive? She said? When I got to
the fire station, my big concern was that when they
saw me, they'd faint, So I decided to try to
go for levity. So walk in the garage bay and yelled, honey,
I'm home. Then proceeded to give them every bit of

(55:45):
personal info I could remember my name. But first off,
they both lived. Her dogs not that much worse for wear.
Once I called them, they came running. I don't remember
much after that, but there was a lot of firm
blood and growling and yelping. They diverted the bare law
enough for me to get up and escape. And there
also is a picture of her with her two dogs,

(56:05):
which Nicols show you right now. No, she's got a wolfhound.
Oh no, fre huge dogs.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
So if you're gonna have bears defending you from a
black bear. There's the ones you want.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
What he said, if you're a bears defending you from a.

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Black bear, that would also be helpful.

Speaker 1 (56:21):
If you had a polar bear to defend you against the.

Speaker 2 (56:22):
Black well, those are bears. To be fair, her.

Speaker 1 (56:25):
Dogs are ginormous. They're bigger than her. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (56:27):
I mean when you have a dog that makes a
mastiff look small.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
Yeah, that's saying something. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
Al yeah, fuck dude, good for her.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
You keep messing up. If you had a dog to
make a bear look small, he said, if you had
a doctor.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Wall, they might, they might.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
They might make a fucking barre look small. They're about
the same size as a brown bear. Yeah, I got
black bear.

Speaker 2 (56:49):
Fuck me. I gotta go to works then. Okay, my
brain's not working.

Speaker 1 (56:54):
Okay, actual last one. Have you ever thought of getting
back at him and getting revenge? She said no. In fact,
I rather identified with the beast inasmuch as it struck
me that it was a refugee seeking a safe haven,
just as I was. It was tracked for several days,
but the hunters were unable to catch it.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
I fully believe this one because there's a book and
pictures and other people corroborating it. So yeah, a lot
of evidence. Yeah, yeah, I believe it. Yeah, And there's
pictures of her with her dogs.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
And there's your pictures and yeah, surgery pictures like yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
So I, like I said, will link to these things
in the episode description, but yeah.

Speaker 3 (57:33):
Scary can happen to anyone anytime, and there's a lot
of I mean we look into attack stories all the time,
Like none of these were ever in the news or
well I'm sure they were.

Speaker 1 (57:42):
In the news, but it was like back in two
thousand and eight, so I.

Speaker 3 (57:44):
Well this one was there were like more recent ones, yeah,
this one from June.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Or July of oh yeah the dog, Yeah exactly.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
I mean, like we aren't in on this stuff, and
we don't hear about every single one, Like it couldn't
happen to anyone at anytime, damn near anywhere when it
comes to black bears.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Yeah, I you know, especially now that I'm technically a
zoo keeper, I really want to do like a zoo
story of like or an episode of like zoo keepers
telling their stories. But I'm conscious of the fact that
people who work at zoos might not want to talk
about the times that they've fucked up at zoos or
like how there's zoo may have had like a you know,
thanks getting out or.

Speaker 3 (58:20):
Whatever when the zoo itself screwed up, or the zoo
keepers themselves, because if everything out of zoo goes as plan.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
Planned, you're never getting been correct. Yeah, well, yeah, I
thought that'd be a fun like you know, diversions from
just like me looking up actual attacks and just looking
at Reddit and seeing what they got. But there were
some good ones trickled in. Yeah, I'm sure there's a
billion more because Reddit is a crazy large.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Place exactly, and I'm sure you could find some awesome
zoo keeper stories that you're talking about from like people
who have anonymous accounts, Like, yeah, maybe I will.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
Try to look into that. Maybe that'll be our next episode.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
I don't know, I don't know how to be able
to you know, check it down obviously, but I'm sure
there's something out there.

Speaker 1 (58:58):
Yeah, of course. All right, Well that is it for
today's episode. Thank you all once again for being patient
while I've been ill and continue to be ill throughout this.
Thank you so much to our editor Jesse Walsh for
editing out wanting to get tissues.

Speaker 2 (59:17):
During that hopefully. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:20):
Yeah, so if it is, that's why I need a
lot of tissues. You can find all the links that
I mentioned in the episode description, as well as links
to our social media, our website Getta livepodcast dot com,
where you can get merch and other stuff. It's been
a while. You guys, follow us wherever you're listening, or

(59:41):
subscribe whatever, leave five star reviews wherever you're listening, and
you can also leave comments on Spotify. And I think
that's it. Yeah, yeah, thank you, Josh Walsher maker inter Music,
and we'll be back in hopefully two weeks with another
Animal of Attack story.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
The incidents in collectually speaking,