Wellbeing Tips for Christmas and New Year from a registered psychologist

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This is a short episode revisiting some tips for wellbeing over the so-called festive season.
The Christmas and New Year period can be an emotional rollercoaster. Things like complicated family dynamics and the absence of loved ones can heighten feelings of loneliness. 
Not everyone feels happy and bright at this time of the year. In fact, Christmas is considered as one of the six most stressful life events, along with divorce, moving house and changing jobs. 
Our special guests for this episode is Belinda Ellis. Belinda is a registered psychologist, specialising in forensics and she is ermha365s Chief practice officer. 

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ermha365 provides mental health and disability support for people in Victoria and the Northern Territory. Find out more about our services at our website.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Welcome to Get Real talking mental health and
disability.
I'm Emily Webb.
We're including some contentfrom a previous episode about
wellbeing during the Christmasand New Year period.
You'll hear Irma365 CEO CarenzaLouis-Smith, belinda Ellis,
registered psychologist, andIrma365 Chief Practice Officer

(00:36):
for Quality Safeguarding andRisk, and you'll hear from me,
carenza, and I want to wish ourlisteners and the people special
to you, a safe and restful timeas we head out of 2024 and into
2025.
We'll also have details in theshow notes for services to
contact if you are strugglingover this time and want to talk

(01:00):
to someone well, thinking aboutChristmas, and you know, it
seems that feeling stressed inDecember is actually very common
.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Anxiety infects three in ten of us, while a quarter
of people actually feeldepressed at Christmastime and
just under a quarter say they'vefelt really, really lonely.
Delinda, do these numberssurprise you at all?

Speaker 4 (01:23):
I think, as much as Christmas is promoted as a
joyful time of, I guess,celebration, rejuvenation, it is
for many of us far far from thereality.
It could be a particularly hardtime, if not the hardest,
especially, I guess, impacted bypersonal difficulties or
adverse life events such asmental health trauma, loneliness

(01:43):
, isolation, illness and thepressures of family, I think,
can also act as a significantstressor with this one, as can
balancing work life, family, theextra social commitment
throughout that time of the yearand all can be enough to lead
to a range of emotions as wellas physical and emotional
exhaustion.
For me, on a personal level,another big difficulty is the

(02:06):
absence of family and friendswho have passed.
I find that incredibly,incredibly difficult at that
time of the year, a new yearperiod.
I don't think I'm alone withthat.
I think that for many, thistime of the year can lead to a
sense of reflection and withthat sense of reflection, I
think grief can bubble to thesurface and really dominate.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
But thinking about that, families, when we're
really talking about familiesand I think that's what a lot of
Christmas is about well, thething is, families can be really
complicated, right, and I guessthat Christmas can bring some
of those issues to the forefrontArguments, sadness, trauma,
regrets, lots and lots offeelings.
So I'm thinking about peoplelistening to this podcast.
I'm interested what have youlearned about how people can be

(02:47):
supported when they might havecomplicated family relationships
or be estranged from theirfamilies, sometimes by choice,
sometimes not.
What could you share with thepeople that are listening?

Speaker 4 (02:58):
I think the major key to this one is boundaries,
which kind of leads naturallyinto the next one, being
self-care.
It's really important to havean awareness even if it does
sting at times, of the impactthat our family can have on us.
Once we have this awareness, itcan be much, much easier to
address or, if needed, evenavoid any potential difficulties

(03:19):
or tricky situations.
As for the additional support,my advice is know your people
and surround yourself with thosewho really understand you and
can support you, whether that befriends or even professional
supports.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
And Belinda, you specialise in work as well with
younger people.
What if it's a younger personin the family that has that same
level of anxiety or stressaround that build-up?
What kind of thoughts do youhave that you might be able to
share with our listeners today?

Speaker 4 (03:46):
It comes down to an awareness and understanding
triggers, whether they be thatof your own triggers or that of
a child.
Understanding them, supportingthem and encouraging really
honest, transparent discussionsso the child feels safe to
actually say, to recognise theemotion and to talk about it.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
And at the moment, the conversation about the cost
of living is everywhere.
It's very real.
People are feeling the pincheverywhere.
But you know, at Christmas inparticular, we always see a lot
of ads on Tally and appeals justto help people have a good
Christmas, as they came upwishing tree, things like that.
Financial pressures are veryreal and they also really impact

(04:25):
mental health and vice versa.
What are your thoughts aboutfinancial pressures, mental
health I mean, you would haveseen this in your work but also
just any thoughts for listenersout there about trying to not
feel under so much pressure forChristmas, to be a certain way,
because you know, when we lookat the ads it's all like a fairy
tale.
When, let's face it, christmasDay is often not like that.

Speaker 4 (04:49):
I agree, em.
I think it is so easy to belured into the gift buying guilt
or the entertainer's guilt.
I think the biggest tip is,before you do think of some
alternatives that could be agifting act of kindness, for
example, rather than aconsumable, or if hosting,
consider ways in which you canentertain that doesn't involve a
huge, expensive outlay of food,much of which is likely to go

(05:11):
to waste anyway and think aboutthe meaning behind the act or
the occasion, whetherfaith-based or otherwise, as
opposed to the pressures thatmay be more related to societal
expectation, guilt, evenexternal validation.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
That is so true.
I remember as a kid the mostexciting thing was because it
was in England, obviously, so itwas dark at four o'clock, right
, and hanging out with ourcousins and going outside and
looking at all the stars andtrying to see if you could spot
Santa.
And every year it was thefamily tradition we would go to
my gran's house and we would goSanta spotting.
You can do things that don'tcost a lot of money or don't

(05:47):
have to, and bring a plate toshare, because people aren't
necessarily interested in thefood that you're going to put on
, they're interested in thecompany, right?
So I think those are reallypractical tips.
But I want to talk a bit aboutanxiety as well.
So I mean, anxiety affects alot of us, you know.
I mean, certainly on my ownmental health journey, anxiety
has definitely played a partabsolutely in my life, and one
of the things that I've learnedis that you can actually manage

(06:08):
your anxiety yourself and youcan manage it from home For
people listening to us, you know, and if you're feeling anxious,
maybe if anxiety is new andyou've not experienced it before
, what are some of the thingsthat you can do yourself that
can actually help some of thosefeelings?

Speaker 4 (06:24):
We spoke a little bit about knowing triggers
throughout the podcast.
So it really is about knowingthem, knowing the triggers,
removing or even avoidingtriggers and, where you're
unable to practice, strategiesthat can be effective to reduce
the symptoms of anxiety.
So, whether that be walks,mindfulness or meditation, good
diet cannot be underestimated.
Absence of substances,maintaining regular appointments

(06:48):
with professionals A lot ofpeople find journaling really
really helpful.
Of course, there's compliancewith medications if they're
prescribed and if all else fails, reach out to a professional.
So reach out to a professionalwhen anxiety or depression or
any other unwanted emotion isgetting away from you.
Interventions really vary andcan be incredibly effective, and

(07:09):
I think it's really importantto remember that early
intervention is key.
So there's no shame in askingfor help, whether that is
professional or otherwise, justspeaking up and saying I'm
struggling a little bit here.
I might need some help.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
You work in the professional space and sometimes
you're looked at to sort thingsout because you know, know, you
work in that space and it cansometimes be a real blurring of
the line.
So what do you do to care foryour own well-being and mental
health?

Speaker 4 (07:38):
exercise is my absolute go-to and I'm very
fortunate to live near abeautiful beach and beautiful
bushland, which makes exerciseincredibly easy, and fresh air
and nature, which you know ismagic for the soul, I think, and
beyond that, the basics arereally effective for me.
So good diet, limited alcohol,good sleep, hygiene, surrounding

(07:58):
myself with really good peopleand time out for quiet
reflection.
I think something that isreally important to note is that
one size does not fit all.
It's a real matter of trial anderror to see what strategies
work for you, but there issomething that's going to fit
well.
It just feels right.
You will do a particularactivity.
At the end of that activity,you are going to feel a little
bit more peaceful, you are goingto feel a little bit more

(08:20):
grounded and centred.
So it's definitely worthpersisting and trying to find
your thing.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Carenza, what about you?
I want to hear what you'redoing, because you shared
recently with the organisationand we put it out on social
media about just some changesyou'd made in your life.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
Yeah, and it's interesting, isn't it?
Because I'm listening to theconversation.
I'm appalling at times.
It's interesting, isn't it?
Because I'm listening to theconversation, I'm appalling at
times, I'm shocking.
I think, yeah, what am I doingin terms of taking care of my
own mental health?
Look, I love the gym, there'sno doubt.
But for me, I have to find spaceto silence my mind, because it
doesn't stop.
It can just keep going andgoing and going and my thoughts

(08:57):
will keep going and I'll keepdreaming about different things.
So for me, it's about how do Ifind those quiet moments in that
quiet space?
So very recently I've actuallybeen physically making myself
leave home and go to my gym anddo some meditation classes, and
the impact is phenomenal.
It's very different actually todoing it myself at home because
I just go oh, no time today, notime tonight.
You know, I've set alarms on mywatch, all of those things.

(09:19):
So I've set alarms on my watch,all of those things.
So for me, it's actually aboutmaking myself do things.
The other thing I love and Inever have enough time to do it,
but it's to pick up a book andread and just to have that
beautiful moment of escapismwhich is purely completely
self-indulgent time for me, so Ifind those things really nice.
Any final thoughts?

Speaker 4 (09:38):
Yeah, mine would be know your boundaries and
celebrate them.
I think that's a big one.
Also, for those who arefortunate enough not to be
spending Christmas alone or whomay not have some of the
difficulties that we've spokenabout this morning, it can be
great to look around and see ifthere's people who you know who
may find this time difficult,and reaching out to them it
really could make all thedifference.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
You've been listening to Get Real talking mental
health and disability, broughtto you by the team at Irma 365.
Get Real is produced andpresented by Emily Webb, with
Corenza Louis-Smith and specialguests.
Thanks for listening and we'llsee you next time.