April 3, 2024 • 26 mins
Jenna's debut book, "I Love Me More: How To Find Happiness and Success Through Self-Love," was released on March 8, 2022, on International Women's Day, quickly becoming an Amazon best-seller. In it, Jenna shares her journey from facing inordinate childhood adversity to becoming a self-made entrepreneur, emphasizing the power of self-love and resilience.
Jenna Banks is a former Director of Business Development turned public speaker, emcee, moderator, host of The Jenna Banks Show, and best-selling author and entrepreneur. Her work has been featured in a wide variety of media outlets, including Forbes, ABC, NBC, and Authority Magazine. Most recently, she's brought her messages of inspiration and empowerment to events and stages, including cyber security, C-suite executives, women's leadership, software development, and the paytech industry.
When she's not working, Jenna enjoys collecting art, playing tennis, traveling, reading, hiking, personal growth and development, and staying curious.
- If you would like to be a guest and share your story, click this link: https://thepromoter.org/story/
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Episode Transcript
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Announcer (00:01):
It's time now to get the hell out of your life.
A weekly broadcast with realpeople sharing real struggles
and offering real hope.
Today's show will encourage,inspire and empower you to face
life's challenges with a boldconfidence and renewed hope.
Now let's join our host, ronMyers.
The promoter.
Ron Meyers (00:26):
Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you
today.
My hot coffee.
I have a great guest today.
You know, this show brings youguests that share their stories
of getting the hell out of theirlife.
And I love these storiesbecause not only will they
encourage and inspire you but,man, friends, they feed me, they
(00:51):
feed my life, my soul, myenergy.
Because, friends, we need toshare our stories more and
become transparent, because youwill find out that we are more
connected than you realize andwhen we share and love and
encourage and inspire each other, we reach a whole new potential
(01:13):
in life.
And my guest today?
I was doing something and I cameacross her name, Jenna Banks,
and the title of her book calledI Love Me More how to Find
Happiness and Success ThroughSelf-Love.
Well, I was fascinated becauseI was like her and most of you a
(01:36):
lot of you anyway.
We grew up with a crappychildhood and some of those
things we learn as a child.
We have to get that stink andthink and that nonsense out of
our head, but it's sometimes alot harder than we think.
And here comes a pioneer manyof them, many women that have
(01:56):
come forward, and Jenna Banksshares her story.
So I put a call into her andnot only did I get a copy of her
book which, wow, I could notput down, I can relate to it so
much, and I know you will too.
So I called up Jenna and saidhey, Jenna, I would love for you
to share your story with mylisteners.
(02:18):
We have some people inMississippi that need a little
bit of self-love, and she was sokind to do that.
So, Jenna Banks, I am so gladshe is an award-winning author,
speaker, MC, moderator, host ofthe Jenna Banks show, and she's
(02:39):
dynamic.
You're going to love thisconversation and if you have a
little bit of hell in your lifecalled anti-love for yourself,
well today you're going to help.
She's going to help you getthat hell out of your life.
Jenna, welcome to the show.
How are you?
Jenna Banks (02:54):
Oh, thank you for asking.
Thank you so much for having meon to have this conversation
with you.
I think it's so incrediblyimportant.
So I'm just thrilled thatyou're getting this message of
self-love out there.
So a little bit about me.
I didn't have the easiest of abeginning because I had a bit of
a traumatic backgroundtraumatic childhood, very strict
(03:15):
, strict, strict upbringing.
Lots and lots of rules andbeliefs to follow, none of which
were mine to start out with,and harsh punishments were the
norm.
We moved around a lot, ron Imean I can't even tell you how
many places.
So I was always the new kid inschool, just not a very great
(03:36):
way to make friends.
So I never really developedthat muscle as a kid to have
long-term friends because I wasalways saying goodbye and I was
pretty sad and pretty depressedand ended up leaving home at the
age of 14 because something hadto give and it was.
Whew went from living in a verystrict environment, very
(03:57):
religious upbringing, to norules.
Everything was up to me,survival mode and all of that.
So I was thrown right into awhole nother trauma.
I had to figure out my way inmy teens.
But you know what?
Thankfully I did get through it.
And when I look back to where Iam today, which is someone who
(04:18):
you know was able to you knowget a GED.
I only got my GED.
Didn't go to college because Iwas focused on surviving, ended
up getting pregnant and marriedat 19,.
Became a divorced single mom atthe age of 22.
But I was able to find successin life.
I eventually went on to have amid-six-figure career in
(04:39):
corporate leadership roles in my20s, founded a startup in my
30s and I later sold that forhalf a million dollars, started
a profitable real estate venture, and now I'm an author, speaker
, writer, thought leader, hostand moderate panels, facilitate
events and love what I do, youknow, and I really do feel, like
(05:00):
you and I were talking earlierabout living in your purpose.
You know we are all broughthere for a reason on this earth.
You know we are all beautifulsouls, perfect exactly as we are
.
There's nothing we have tochange about ourselves Really,
absolutely nothing.
God made us 100% perfect and somany of us walk around without
(05:20):
self-love.
And when I realized and wastalking to you know talk about
it in the beginning of the bookabout a friend who didn't know
how to value herself, and Italked about the reason that I
had gotten out of a relationshipand learning to choose myself
and put myself and my needsfirst, and that I love me more.
And it was such a foreignconcept to her and that
(05:41):
conversation alone sparkedwithin me that knowing like, oh,
okay, this is what I'm supposedto talk about.
Right, this is that I've gonethrough a lifetime of figuring
that out and choosing myselfalong the way, and that was all
just trial and error, right?
Nobody told me about self-love.
(06:01):
I didn't even know about theterm self-love until I started
writing the book and researchingand then I realized, oh,
there's a word for what Ilearned to do, but that choosing
myself, putting my needs firstnot saying that it's being in a
selfish way, but just saying I'mgoing to do the things that
make me happy and light me up,regardless.
(06:22):
I'm not going to let anyonemake me feel like less than or
unworthy, like I don't.
You know that I'm not worthyenough for the relationship or
for them or whatever.
I learned that.
You know what?
Hey, you're not meant for me,then you're not meant for me,
and the job's not meant for me.
It's not meant for me.
It's okay.
Not everyone's supposed to bein our lives forever.
(06:42):
And you know, the more I chosemyself, I got aligned with the
right people and the right jobsand the right things and got to
live a full, happy, productive,successful life.
Because I went down that pathand I can only imagine what it
would have been like for me hadI, you know, stayed in a lack of
(07:04):
self-worth and let my you knowmy humble upbringings dictate,
you know my potential.
So yeah, hopefully that kind ofsums it up there.
Ron Meyers (07:15):
No, no, it's very intriguing to hear you talk,
because we have to loveourselves.
We all have one fingerprint toprove that we are an original,
and I got this from your book.
I read this book.
It's called I Love Me Morelisteners.
It's written by Jenna Banks.
We'll tell you how to get acopy in just a few minutes.
But, jenna, why did you writethis book?
Jenna Banks (07:38):
I'd like to acknowledge what you just said
about liking yourself.
You know, starting with that,and I think that that is that is
a really good starting point.
I just did a post on that today.
It starts with you know, youcan't go right to loving
yourself.
You, if you're going to, youknow even backtrack from there
it's you know, respectingyourself.
And how do you respect yourselfif you don't even like yourself
(08:01):
?
Right, a lot of times we canjust stand in the mirror,
especially as women, and pickapart every part of ourselves,
our body, our wrinkles, andwe're not pretty as pretty as so
, and so you know, in the mediaor whatever, and how we can't
even develop self love if we'repicking apart ourselves like
that.
That's not even.
That's just disliking ourselves.
(08:22):
We have to start with not doingthat to ourselves and talking
kindly to ourselves and thinkingwell of ourselves, because
everything reflects from us,right?
How can we be respected if wedon't have self-respect?
How can we be valued if wedon't value ourselves?
It all starts with us.
So what spawned me to write thebook was that whole topic of
(08:45):
self-value.
I had, you know, had a traumaticbackground, as I mentioned, and
I learned far too late in lifethat, unfortunately, we repeat
patterns from our childhood and,you know, found myself in
relationships along the way,long-term relationships, but
they just never, you know, Ijust never felt quite right.
(09:06):
They never ended well.
And I was in one of thoserelationships where I broke up
with somebody because I justdidn't quite feel fulfilled, I
wasn't feeling valued, and ifI'm not going to feel valued
then I'm not going to work.
So I chose to broke it off andmy heart was really broken at
that time because I really lovedthis person.
(09:28):
He thought he could have, youknow, he had a lot of potential
and, yeah, there was a lot oflove there for me.
But, you know, he had a lot ofpotential and, um, yeah, there
was a lot of love there for me,but, um, you know, just wasn't
feeling that he valued me enough, broke it off and he didn't
seem to mind.
So that kind of proved to mewhat I was, what I was feeling
and um, but I was stillheartbroken, you know, and I, um
, went to dinner with a friendand she says, hey, why, why
(09:50):
would you break up with someoneif you're still in love with
them?
Why don't you just get backtogether?
Um, and I said no, no, I loveme more.
You know, I love me more thanhim.
And she said what do you mean?
You love me more?
And I was like what do you mean?
What do I mean?
It was like for me it was a nobrainer.
I had done so much work onmyself at that point, or to get
(10:12):
to that point, that it justdidn't even.
It wasn't even a hesitation,and she just could not
comprehend it.
And she was my age and I waslike wow, okay, you don't
understand, okay.
And so I tried to explain it toher and I spent about an hour
over dinner explaining it to herand I really thought okay,
jenna, you did a good job.
She's got to have gotten it bynow.
(10:34):
Well, a few weeks later shecalls me Ron and she's like oh,
my goodness, I just got it,jenna, I love me more.
And I was like what do you mean?
She goes I have to be honestwith you.
At first I really could notunderstand where you were coming
from, but I was spending a lotof time contemplating this and
(10:56):
she said it finally clicked forme.
You know, I've been in this.
She was saying I've been inthis relationship with this guy
for a few months.
He was always, you know,leaving me hanging, sending me
random text messages that weremaking me question where our
relationship was at.
Did we really have arelationship, did he?
(11:16):
You know, how did he feel aboutme?
She just still.
She was still hanging on,trying to get her sense of value
from him and she realized, oh,I am looking to him for my value
, but I need to value myselfmore.
This is not what I want.
This is not fulfilling me, thisis not making me feel good.
(11:39):
What am I doing?
I need to value myself more, Ineed to love myself more and
leave Right, and I think thatthat right there was a big light
bulb moment for her and it gother down this path of wanting to
know more.
And she started asking me Jenna,how did you get to this place
where you could, you know, learnto value yourself more and and
(12:03):
put yourself ahead of you know,anybody else?
She's like I never reallythought of it like that.
I always thought it was selfish, but now I see that it's kind
of everything and I was like, oh, wow, okay, well, let me think
about this.
And I wanted to help andstarted journaling and kind of
going back in my history andthinking about choices I made
along the way.
That kind of helped me start tobegin to choose myself and my
(12:27):
happiness and um, and then Icould write a book.
Ron Meyers (12:31):
So here we are talking about it.
Have you found that when peopleread your book that they say,
Jenna, this was like my story.
I was like in a mirror and it'shelped me so much?
Jenna Banks (12:44):
Oh, you have no idea.
Yeah, 100%.
I just got chills thinkingabout some of the emails and
messages on social media thatI've received, and even meeting
people where I had a speakingevent and they picked up my book
randomly beforehand and justthe feedback like, oh yes, I
every.
It's like you're telling mystory and it's so empowering and
(13:06):
it's really.
I mean, sometimes I've heardit's life saving, you know, just
understanding that someonefinally can relate to me or to
them.
Right, they say, oh, so finallysomeone relates to my story and
I have a different path, right,that's the thing is, when you
tell your story, it's scary atfirst.
(13:29):
It's scary at first, honestly,ron, you know it's not easy to
put yourself out there and godeep and dig out all those
stories of overcoming.
Right, because those were hardmoments in our lives.
But those were those pointsthat you made a pivotal choice
and that story of overcoming canreally help somebody.
So it's worth it to go downthat path If you have a story to
(13:53):
tell.
If anyone's listening now andyou know they have a story to
tell, that can help somebody.
I mean, even just sometimeswriting it out can be
therapeutic, right.
Ron Meyers (14:04):
Yes, absolutely.
It's amazing that people sharetheir stories and then I hear
back.
Well, I thought I was only onethat dealt like that, and it is
important.
We have to be transparent.
Sometimes we want help, butthen we won't really want to
talk about what really bothersus, and I appreciate your
transparency in this book.
(14:24):
And how do people get a copy?
Jenna Banks (14:27):
Oh, thank you for asking.
Yeah, it's on.
I mean I hate to only promoteAmazon because they are the
elephant in the room, but that'sthe easiest way, especially if
you have Prime, because it'sfree shipping and right now they
are selling it at a really niceprice.
But I love Barnes and Nobles.
If you have one near you, walkinto your local Barnes and Noble
.
They've been a really greatsupporter of the book.
(14:48):
Or, you know, you can just goto my website, jenna-bankscom,
and I have links to everythingthere.
There's many other placesonline that you can find it
Target and all kinds of othersmaller mom and pop bookstores
as well.
Ron Meyers (15:02):
And listeners.
I got her book a few months ago, back in the fall.
This is a good book.
It's a great book and, jenna,there's just a lot of things
that I can relate to you, that Iwas reading but somebody
listening out there, jenna, thatsays, well, yeah, ron, that's
me.
What's the first step?
What should they do?
Jenna Banks (15:21):
Start reading, right, I think that's what I do.
So, whether it's my book orsomeone else's, there's a lot of
you know.
Come to find out.
There are quite a few greatbooks out there on self-love and
I say find the one with theauthor, that with a story that
resonates with you most.
Right, most of the websites oreven books themselves have a
little blurb about the author orwhat the book's about.
(15:44):
And I say find that one thatconnects with you, because we
are, you mentioned, you knowchoices and we all have choices
to make.
We also all have our ownbeliefs, right.
And that's been a huge ahamoment for me is our belief
systems are so diverse and sounique, and that's what makes us
all so opinionated.
Right Is because we're all sofirm in our beliefs.
(16:06):
But I would just say find theone that speaks to you most, but
most of all, just know that itis's power, it's bringing more
God, more universe through you,and that then, positively, just
(16:37):
by you being you don't even haveto do anything Just your
presence will positively impactthose around you.
Love is everything, right?
And God is love God is love,Love is God right.
Ron Meyers (16:50):
It says one day, all the gifts and everything will
be gone, but love will lastforever.
And I guess, jenna, I justthink people need to chill out a
little, have a little more funin life and quit being so trying
to be somebody else.
Just be yourself, and you know,when you do that we thrive.
(17:12):
Am I right, or am I wrong?
Jenna Banks (17:15):
Amen, very well said.
Well, you and I are like you'rethe male version of me, ron, I
think.
Seriously, I agree witheverything you say so much in
your background.
Our backgrounds are very, verysimilar and yeah, like just
that's the thing, right, it'sreally hard to just accept
(17:38):
yourself fully and be yourselfand bring your authentic self to
the table, but that's allthat's all anyone wants, like,
really, when we drop the facadeand stop trying to be like
everyone else, we people feelthe difference, they see the
difference and they it doesn'tmatter what it is you could have
had a prison, you know, youknow, had a prison past, right,
(17:59):
like I know people who.
In fact, there's a woman Iinterviewed for my show I've got
a video series called the JennaBank Show and she was a former
cheerleader.
She got addicted to drugs,ended up dealing, got caught
here.
She went from this beautifulcheerleader.
She got addicted to drugs,ended up dealing, got caught
here.
She went from this beautifulcheerleader with a huge, so much
potential ahead of her and sheends up getting caught up in the
(18:21):
drug, selling drugs, getscaught and convicted of a felony
.
She has a young daughter atthis point she's 19, I believe
18, something like that.
She ends up in prison for twoyears, loses custody of her
daughter.
Now she goes into a halfwayhouse after that.
Now, what do you think she mightthink of herself after that?
(18:44):
Right, like the shame, right,the shame is what a person might
feel.
Most people would.
And then they also would doomthemselves at that point to
never ever having any kind ofpotential ahead of them or any
possibilities of having a greatlife.
With this really bad storybehind you, behind you.
No, that's not the case.
You know what she did.
(19:04):
It was so inspiring.
She owned it.
She owned it fully.
And she said you know what?
I am not going to let thisdefine me.
She changed her point of viewin prison and said you know what
?
Now I've just got a lot of workto do to overcome this thing,
but I'm going to own it.
And she did.
And she went on to have anincredibly successful life and
career and she speaks all overthe country for the same prison
(19:28):
system that put her away.
She's under contract with theDepartment of Justice to speak
and motivate other prisoners,because she went on to have a
really great career and made alot of money.
She just she owned it.
She went into her firstemployer, out of the halfway
house that she was living in.
I love her story so much.
She called them, got theinterview, went in.
(19:51):
She says look, I'm just goingto be honest with you.
I just got out of prison,served a felony, lost custody of
my child, but you know what?
I am a changed person andnothing motivates me more than
overcoming that particularhurdle.
I will be your best, whateverjob she was applying for, and
you will not be disappointed.
(20:11):
And her this, uh, the personinterviewing her.
She said the mouth her, theirmouth was just their jaw
dropping to the floor.
But, um, they're like wow, okay,yeah, you're hired.
You know, and they gave her ago.
Ron Meyers (20:26):
They're like, wow, okay, yeah, you're hired.
You know, and they gave her ago, that's good, you're hired.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had a a very similar story ofa lady that had no self-worth.
She became a stripper, aprostitute, and now she here is
in the prison system, has afemale chaplain very similar
(20:47):
story, yeah.
So you know, sometimes thosethings in life we go through,
they look like they're the endof the world, but all we have to
do is just say you know whatI'm not, I can't do this anymore
.
So, jenna, I know time is shortand you are a busy lady, but
you can give the listeners alittle pep talk.
Jenna Banks (21:05):
Okay, well, I'm just going to say what is on my
heart and mind right now, whichis, you know, beliefs.
Beliefs are not facts, and thisis something I've contemplated
a lot lately.
Beliefs are not facts.
Right, we get our beliefs fromvarious sources, but I've come
to learn that we form around 95%of our beliefs and behaviors by
(21:27):
the age of seven, seven, andthen they become subconscious
programs that just sit in thebackground of our minds and our
subconscious and they run ourentire lives and we operate from
these beliefs as if they'refacts, but they're really not.
They can be changed, right, abelief is just that.
(21:47):
That we can change that beliefanytime we want.
And so, you know, I say tobring more consciousness into
our lives, because that is wherewe need to be right now is just
in a more conscious place.
We need to be examining theseunconscious beliefs and decide
for ourselves is are they true?
Are they really true for metoday?
(22:09):
Do I want to believe this thingabout myself?
You know, maybe I, you know, ifyou say something about
yourself, for example, you saywell, you know, this happens
because that's the way it alwayshas been, or I'm just an
unlucky person.
Wow, that, right there you takea look at that and say, wait,
(22:29):
why am I believing that?
Where did that come from?
When did I start believing thatabout myself?
Is it true?
Because the more you say thesethings, the more you make them
true.
So, if we can look at them andstart to look at those beliefs
and say, well, what do I reallywant to believe and what do I
want to believe about myself?
Right, do I want to believethat I'm worthy?
(22:52):
Do I want to believe that I'mvaluable or do I want to keep
believing that I shouldself-sacrifice?
Right, and you know where didthat come from.
You know, some of us wereraised, like I was, to believe
that self-sacrifice is a virtue.
Ron Meyers (23:04):
Yeah.
Jenna Banks (23:05):
You know.
And so just taking a look atthese beliefs and saying, hmm,
you know, I might have believedthis for forever, but is it
really true for me today?
Is it really serving me?
And then, when I say serving me, meaning it was serving me so
that I can be my best, so that Ican be my best for the world,
right?
The world that I impact, myfamily, my children, my job, my
(23:26):
community, right?
Because when you are servingyourself, you're being your best
self, but you can be your bestfor others too, so it's a
win-win for everyone.
So maybe take a look at those,those unconscious beliefs.
It's hard to do, but it'sdefinitely well worth it.
Ron Meyers (23:42):
How can people connect with you or listen to
some of your podcast, or maybesend you a note?
Jenna Banks (23:49):
Oh, thank you for asking.
Yeah, my, my website,jenna-bankscom, is really the
the place to start because thereare links to everything.
You'll find my Instagram andYouTube and my powerful women
plus channel, which you want towatch.
The video version of my show.
You'll find it on Roku, googleplay, apple, all that stuff,
(24:09):
apple TV You'll find all thelinks on my website.
I'm quite active on LinkedIn aswell, so just type in my name,
jenna Banks, and, yeah, emailand everything.
It's all on there.
Ron Meyers (24:23):
Well, jenna, I want to thank you for taking time to
visit with me, and we appreciateyou so very much, and keep
spreading the love.
Jenna Banks (24:33):
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me on to havethis conversation, Ron.
I appreciate you and all thatyou're doing to positively
impact the world.
So thank you wow.
Ron Meyers (24:57):
jenna was so real and transparent and, friends, I
would highly encourage you to goto her website jennabankscom.
I know there's a hyphen inthere, but you'll find her.
You'll find her.
You'll see this dynamic picture, this dynamic story and all
kinds of links to things shedoes in her shows.
Get connected with her because,friends, as I said when I
opened up this show, we have tostick together.
We have to encourage andinspire other people and never
(25:21):
think that you know everything,because we don't know everything
.
Every day is a new day, everyminute is a new minute.
And just think about this If youget the hell out of your life
by loving yourself more, lovingthe talents, skills and
(25:42):
abilities that you have, andembracing how you are different,
you are different because youwere made to be different.
God doesn't make duplicates.
We are an original, one of akind copy, and you've got an
awesome, awesome destiny.
I know I've been talking aboutit in interviewing people for
(26:03):
many years and we're all afterwhat is it I'm placed on this
planet for and what can I do tohelp other people enjoy life?
Well, friends, if you have astory to share, I would love for
you to go to my website,thepromoterorg.
Send me a little note and wewill share your story with the
(26:26):
world Until next week.
This is Ron Myers, remindingyou that I love you, god loves
you, and it's time to get thehell out of your life and love
yourself just as much as Godloves you.
Get the hell out.
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your Life Real stories, realstruggles and real hope.
(27:33):
Thank you,
It's time now to get the hell out of your life.
A weekly broadcast with realpeople sharing real struggles
and offering real hope.
Today's show will encourage,inspire and empower you to face
life's challenges with a boldconfidence and renewed hope.
Now let's join our host, ronMyers.
The promoter.
Ron Meyers (00:26):
Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you
today.
My hot coffee.
I have a great guest today.
You know, this show brings youguests that share their stories
of getting the hell out of theirlife.
And I love these storiesbecause not only will they
encourage and inspire you but,man, friends, they feed me, they
(00:51):
feed my life, my soul, myenergy.
Because, friends, we need toshare our stories more and
become transparent, because youwill find out that we are more
connected than you realize andwhen we share and love and
encourage and inspire each other, we reach a whole new potential
(01:13):
in life.
And my guest today?
I was doing something and I cameacross her name, Jenna Banks,
and the title of her book calledI Love Me More how to Find
Happiness and Success ThroughSelf-Love.
Well, I was fascinated becauseI was like her and most of you a
(01:36):
lot of you anyway.
We grew up with a crappychildhood and some of those
things we learn as a child.
We have to get that stink andthink and that nonsense out of
our head, but it's sometimes alot harder than we think.
And here comes a pioneer manyof them, many women that have
(01:56):
come forward, and Jenna Banksshares her story.
So I put a call into her andnot only did I get a copy of her
book which, wow, I could notput down, I can relate to it so
much, and I know you will too.
So I called up Jenna and saidhey, Jenna, I would love for you
to share your story with mylisteners.
(02:18):
We have some people inMississippi that need a little
bit of self-love, and she was sokind to do that.
So, Jenna Banks, I am so gladshe is an award-winning author,
speaker, MC, moderator, host ofthe Jenna Banks show, and she's
(02:39):
dynamic.
You're going to love thisconversation and if you have a
little bit of hell in your lifecalled anti-love for yourself,
well today you're going to help.
She's going to help you getthat hell out of your life.
Jenna, welcome to the show.
How are you?
Jenna Banks (02:54):
Oh, thank you for asking.
Thank you so much for having meon to have this conversation
with you.
I think it's so incrediblyimportant.
So I'm just thrilled thatyou're getting this message of
self-love out there.
So a little bit about me.
I didn't have the easiest of abeginning because I had a bit of
a traumatic backgroundtraumatic childhood, very strict
(03:15):
, strict, strict upbringing.
Lots and lots of rules andbeliefs to follow, none of which
were mine to start out with,and harsh punishments were the
norm.
We moved around a lot, ron Imean I can't even tell you how
many places.
So I was always the new kid inschool, just not a very great
(03:36):
way to make friends.
So I never really developedthat muscle as a kid to have
long-term friends because I wasalways saying goodbye and I was
pretty sad and pretty depressedand ended up leaving home at the
age of 14 because something hadto give and it was.
Whew went from living in a verystrict environment, very
(03:57):
religious upbringing, to norules.
Everything was up to me,survival mode and all of that.
So I was thrown right into awhole nother trauma.
I had to figure out my way inmy teens.
But you know what?
Thankfully I did get through it.
And when I look back to where Iam today, which is someone who
(04:18):
you know was able to you knowget a GED.
I only got my GED.
Didn't go to college because Iwas focused on surviving, ended
up getting pregnant and marriedat 19,.
Became a divorced single mom atthe age of 22.
But I was able to find successin life.
I eventually went on to have amid-six-figure career in
(04:39):
corporate leadership roles in my20s, founded a startup in my
30s and I later sold that forhalf a million dollars, started
a profitable real estate venture, and now I'm an author, speaker
, writer, thought leader, hostand moderate panels, facilitate
events and love what I do, youknow, and I really do feel, like
(05:00):
you and I were talking earlierabout living in your purpose.
You know we are all broughthere for a reason on this earth.
You know we are all beautifulsouls, perfect exactly as we are
.
There's nothing we have tochange about ourselves Really,
absolutely nothing.
God made us 100% perfect and somany of us walk around without
(05:20):
self-love.
And when I realized and wastalking to you know talk about
it in the beginning of the bookabout a friend who didn't know
how to value herself, and Italked about the reason that I
had gotten out of a relationshipand learning to choose myself
and put myself and my needsfirst, and that I love me more.
And it was such a foreignconcept to her and that
(05:41):
conversation alone sparkedwithin me that knowing like, oh,
okay, this is what I'm supposedto talk about.
Right, this is that I've gonethrough a lifetime of figuring
that out and choosing myselfalong the way, and that was all
just trial and error, right?
Nobody told me about self-love.
(06:01):
I didn't even know about theterm self-love until I started
writing the book and researchingand then I realized, oh,
there's a word for what Ilearned to do, but that choosing
myself, putting my needs firstnot saying that it's being in a
selfish way, but just saying I'mgoing to do the things that
make me happy and light me up,regardless.
(06:22):
I'm not going to let anyonemake me feel like less than or
unworthy, like I don't.
You know that I'm not worthyenough for the relationship or
for them or whatever.
I learned that.
You know what?
Hey, you're not meant for me,then you're not meant for me,
and the job's not meant for me.
It's not meant for me.
It's okay.
Not everyone's supposed to bein our lives forever.
(06:42):
And you know, the more I chosemyself, I got aligned with the
right people and the right jobsand the right things and got to
live a full, happy, productive,successful life.
Because I went down that pathand I can only imagine what it
would have been like for me hadI, you know, stayed in a lack of
(07:04):
self-worth and let my you knowmy humble upbringings dictate,
you know my potential.
So yeah, hopefully that kind ofsums it up there.
Ron Meyers (07:15):
No, no, it's very intriguing to hear you talk,
because we have to loveourselves.
We all have one fingerprint toprove that we are an original,
and I got this from your book.
I read this book.
It's called I Love Me Morelisteners.
It's written by Jenna Banks.
We'll tell you how to get acopy in just a few minutes.
But, jenna, why did you writethis book?
Jenna Banks (07:38):
I'd like to acknowledge what you just said
about liking yourself.
You know, starting with that,and I think that that is that is
a really good starting point.
I just did a post on that today.
It starts with you know, youcan't go right to loving
yourself.
You, if you're going to, youknow even backtrack from there
it's you know, respectingyourself.
And how do you respect yourselfif you don't even like yourself
(08:01):
?
Right, a lot of times we canjust stand in the mirror,
especially as women, and pickapart every part of ourselves,
our body, our wrinkles, andwe're not pretty as pretty as so
, and so you know, in the mediaor whatever, and how we can't
even develop self love if we'repicking apart ourselves like
that.
That's not even.
That's just disliking ourselves.
(08:22):
We have to start with not doingthat to ourselves and talking
kindly to ourselves and thinkingwell of ourselves, because
everything reflects from us,right?
How can we be respected if wedon't have self-respect?
How can we be valued if wedon't value ourselves?
It all starts with us.
So what spawned me to write thebook was that whole topic of
(08:45):
self-value.
I had, you know, had a traumaticbackground, as I mentioned, and
I learned far too late in lifethat, unfortunately, we repeat
patterns from our childhood and,you know, found myself in
relationships along the way,long-term relationships, but
they just never, you know, Ijust never felt quite right.
(09:06):
They never ended well.
And I was in one of thoserelationships where I broke up
with somebody because I justdidn't quite feel fulfilled, I
wasn't feeling valued, and ifI'm not going to feel valued
then I'm not going to work.
So I chose to broke it off andmy heart was really broken at
that time because I really lovedthis person.
(09:28):
He thought he could have, youknow, he had a lot of potential
and, yeah, there was a lot oflove there for me.
But, you know, he had a lot ofpotential and, um, yeah, there
was a lot of love there for me,but, um, you know, just wasn't
feeling that he valued me enough, broke it off and he didn't
seem to mind.
So that kind of proved to mewhat I was, what I was feeling
and um, but I was stillheartbroken, you know, and I, um
, went to dinner with a friendand she says, hey, why, why
(09:50):
would you break up with someoneif you're still in love with
them?
Why don't you just get backtogether?
Um, and I said no, no, I loveme more.
You know, I love me more thanhim.
And she said what do you mean?
You love me more?
And I was like what do you mean?
What do I mean?
It was like for me it was a nobrainer.
I had done so much work onmyself at that point, or to get
(10:12):
to that point, that it justdidn't even.
It wasn't even a hesitation,and she just could not
comprehend it.
And she was my age and I waslike wow, okay, you don't
understand, okay.
And so I tried to explain it toher and I spent about an hour
over dinner explaining it to herand I really thought okay,
jenna, you did a good job.
She's got to have gotten it bynow.
(10:34):
Well, a few weeks later shecalls me Ron and she's like oh,
my goodness, I just got it,jenna, I love me more.
And I was like what do you mean?
She goes I have to be honestwith you.
At first I really could notunderstand where you were coming
from, but I was spending a lotof time contemplating this and
(10:56):
she said it finally clicked forme.
You know, I've been in this.
She was saying I've been inthis relationship with this guy
for a few months.
He was always, you know,leaving me hanging, sending me
random text messages that weremaking me question where our
relationship was at.
Did we really have arelationship, did he?
(11:16):
You know, how did he feel aboutme?
She just still.
She was still hanging on,trying to get her sense of value
from him and she realized, oh,I am looking to him for my value
, but I need to value myselfmore.
This is not what I want.
This is not fulfilling me, thisis not making me feel good.
(11:39):
What am I doing?
I need to value myself more, Ineed to love myself more and
leave Right, and I think thatthat right there was a big light
bulb moment for her and it gother down this path of wanting to
know more.
And she started asking me Jenna,how did you get to this place
where you could, you know, learnto value yourself more and and
(12:03):
put yourself ahead of you know,anybody else?
She's like I never reallythought of it like that.
I always thought it was selfish, but now I see that it's kind
of everything and I was like, oh, wow, okay, well, let me think
about this.
And I wanted to help andstarted journaling and kind of
going back in my history andthinking about choices I made
along the way.
That kind of helped me start tobegin to choose myself and my
(12:27):
happiness and um, and then Icould write a book.
Ron Meyers (12:31):
So here we are talking about it.
Have you found that when peopleread your book that they say,
Jenna, this was like my story.
I was like in a mirror and it'shelped me so much?
Jenna Banks (12:44):
Oh, you have no idea.
Yeah, 100%.
I just got chills thinkingabout some of the emails and
messages on social media thatI've received, and even meeting
people where I had a speakingevent and they picked up my book
randomly beforehand and justthe feedback like, oh yes, I
every.
It's like you're telling mystory and it's so empowering and
(13:06):
it's really.
I mean, sometimes I've heardit's life saving, you know, just
understanding that someonefinally can relate to me or to
them.
Right, they say, oh, so finallysomeone relates to my story and
I have a different path, right,that's the thing is, when you
tell your story, it's scary atfirst.
(13:29):
It's scary at first, honestly,ron, you know it's not easy to
put yourself out there and godeep and dig out all those
stories of overcoming.
Right, because those were hardmoments in our lives.
But those were those pointsthat you made a pivotal choice
and that story of overcoming canreally help somebody.
So it's worth it to go downthat path If you have a story to
(13:53):
tell.
If anyone's listening now andyou know they have a story to
tell, that can help somebody.
I mean, even just sometimeswriting it out can be
therapeutic, right.
Ron Meyers (14:04):
Yes, absolutely.
It's amazing that people sharetheir stories and then I hear
back.
Well, I thought I was only onethat dealt like that, and it is
important.
We have to be transparent.
Sometimes we want help, butthen we won't really want to
talk about what really bothersus, and I appreciate your
transparency in this book.
(14:24):
And how do people get a copy?
Jenna Banks (14:27):
Oh, thank you for asking.
Yeah, it's on.
I mean I hate to only promoteAmazon because they are the
elephant in the room, but that'sthe easiest way, especially if
you have Prime, because it'sfree shipping and right now they
are selling it at a really niceprice.
But I love Barnes and Nobles.
If you have one near you, walkinto your local Barnes and Noble
.
They've been a really greatsupporter of the book.
(14:48):
Or, you know, you can just goto my website, jenna-bankscom,
and I have links to everythingthere.
There's many other placesonline that you can find it
Target and all kinds of othersmaller mom and pop bookstores
as well.
Ron Meyers (15:02):
And listeners.
I got her book a few months ago, back in the fall.
This is a good book.
It's a great book and, jenna,there's just a lot of things
that I can relate to you, that Iwas reading but somebody
listening out there, jenna, thatsays, well, yeah, ron, that's
me.
What's the first step?
What should they do?
Jenna Banks (15:21):
Start reading, right, I think that's what I do.
So, whether it's my book orsomeone else's, there's a lot of
you know.
Come to find out.
There are quite a few greatbooks out there on self-love and
I say find the one with theauthor, that with a story that
resonates with you most.
Right, most of the websites oreven books themselves have a
little blurb about the author orwhat the book's about.
(15:44):
And I say find that one thatconnects with you, because we
are, you mentioned, you knowchoices and we all have choices
to make.
We also all have our ownbeliefs, right.
And that's been a huge ahamoment for me is our belief
systems are so diverse and sounique, and that's what makes us
all so opinionated.
Right Is because we're all sofirm in our beliefs.
(16:06):
But I would just say find theone that speaks to you most, but
most of all, just know that itis's power, it's bringing more
God, more universe through you,and that then, positively, just
(16:37):
by you being you don't even haveto do anything Just your
presence will positively impactthose around you.
Love is everything, right?
And God is love God is love,Love is God right.
Ron Meyers (16:50):
It says one day, all the gifts and everything will
be gone, but love will lastforever.
And I guess, jenna, I justthink people need to chill out a
little, have a little more funin life and quit being so trying
to be somebody else.
Just be yourself, and you know,when you do that we thrive.
(17:12):
Am I right, or am I wrong?
Jenna Banks (17:15):
Amen, very well said.
Well, you and I are like you'rethe male version of me, ron, I
think.
Seriously, I agree witheverything you say so much in
your background.
Our backgrounds are very, verysimilar and yeah, like just
that's the thing, right, it'sreally hard to just accept
(17:38):
yourself fully and be yourselfand bring your authentic self to
the table, but that's allthat's all anyone wants, like,
really, when we drop the facadeand stop trying to be like
everyone else, we people feelthe difference, they see the
difference and they it doesn'tmatter what it is you could have
had a prison, you know, youknow, had a prison past, right,
(17:59):
like I know people who.
In fact, there's a woman Iinterviewed for my show I've got
a video series called the JennaBank Show and she was a former
cheerleader.
She got addicted to drugs,ended up dealing, got caught
here.
She went from this beautifulcheerleader.
She got addicted to drugs,ended up dealing, got caught
here.
She went from this beautifulcheerleader with a huge, so much
potential ahead of her and sheends up getting caught up in the
(18:21):
drug, selling drugs, getscaught and convicted of a felony
.
She has a young daughter atthis point she's 19, I believe
18, something like that.
She ends up in prison for twoyears, loses custody of her
daughter.
Now she goes into a halfwayhouse after that.
Now, what do you think she mightthink of herself after that?
(18:44):
Right, like the shame, right,the shame is what a person might
feel.
Most people would.
And then they also would doomthemselves at that point to
never ever having any kind ofpotential ahead of them or any
possibilities of having a greatlife.
With this really bad storybehind you, behind you.
No, that's not the case.
You know what she did.
(19:04):
It was so inspiring.
She owned it.
She owned it fully.
And she said you know what?
I am not going to let thisdefine me.
She changed her point of viewin prison and said you know what
?
Now I've just got a lot of workto do to overcome this thing,
but I'm going to own it.
And she did.
And she went on to have anincredibly successful life and
career and she speaks all overthe country for the same prison
(19:28):
system that put her away.
She's under contract with theDepartment of Justice to speak
and motivate other prisoners,because she went on to have a
really great career and made alot of money.
She just she owned it.
She went into her firstemployer, out of the halfway
house that she was living in.
I love her story so much.
She called them, got theinterview, went in.
(19:51):
She says look, I'm just goingto be honest with you.
I just got out of prison,served a felony, lost custody of
my child, but you know what?
I am a changed person andnothing motivates me more than
overcoming that particularhurdle.
I will be your best, whateverjob she was applying for, and
you will not be disappointed.
(20:11):
And her this, uh, the personinterviewing her.
She said the mouth her, theirmouth was just their jaw
dropping to the floor.
But, um, they're like wow, okay,yeah, you're hired.
You know, and they gave her ago.
Ron Meyers (20:26):
They're like, wow, okay, yeah, you're hired.
You know, and they gave her ago, that's good, you're hired.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I had a a very similar story ofa lady that had no self-worth.
She became a stripper, aprostitute, and now she here is
in the prison system, has afemale chaplain very similar
(20:47):
story, yeah.
So you know, sometimes thosethings in life we go through,
they look like they're the endof the world, but all we have to
do is just say you know whatI'm not, I can't do this anymore
.
So, jenna, I know time is shortand you are a busy lady, but
you can give the listeners alittle pep talk.
Jenna Banks (21:05):
Okay, well, I'm just going to say what is on my
heart and mind right now, whichis, you know, beliefs.
Beliefs are not facts, and thisis something I've contemplated
a lot lately.
Beliefs are not facts.
Right, we get our beliefs fromvarious sources, but I've come
to learn that we form around 95%of our beliefs and behaviors by
(21:27):
the age of seven, seven, andthen they become subconscious
programs that just sit in thebackground of our minds and our
subconscious and they run ourentire lives and we operate from
these beliefs as if they'refacts, but they're really not.
They can be changed, right, abelief is just that.
(21:47):
That we can change that beliefanytime we want.
And so, you know, I say tobring more consciousness into
our lives, because that is wherewe need to be right now is just
in a more conscious place.
We need to be examining theseunconscious beliefs and decide
for ourselves is are they true?
Are they really true for metoday?
(22:09):
Do I want to believe this thingabout myself?
You know, maybe I, you know, ifyou say something about
yourself, for example, you saywell, you know, this happens
because that's the way it alwayshas been, or I'm just an
unlucky person.
Wow, that, right there you takea look at that and say, wait,
(22:29):
why am I believing that?
Where did that come from?
When did I start believing thatabout myself?
Is it true?
Because the more you say thesethings, the more you make them
true.
So, if we can look at them andstart to look at those beliefs
and say, well, what do I reallywant to believe and what do I
want to believe about myself?
Right, do I want to believethat I'm worthy?
(22:52):
Do I want to believe that I'mvaluable or do I want to keep
believing that I shouldself-sacrifice?
Right, and you know where didthat come from.
You know, some of us wereraised, like I was, to believe
that self-sacrifice is a virtue.
Ron Meyers (23:04):
Yeah.
Jenna Banks (23:05):
You know.
And so just taking a look atthese beliefs and saying, hmm,
you know, I might have believedthis for forever, but is it
really true for me today?
Is it really serving me?
And then, when I say serving me, meaning it was serving me so
that I can be my best, so that Ican be my best for the world,
right?
The world that I impact, myfamily, my children, my job, my
(23:26):
community, right?
Because when you are servingyourself, you're being your best
self, but you can be your bestfor others too, so it's a
win-win for everyone.
So maybe take a look at those,those unconscious beliefs.
It's hard to do, but it'sdefinitely well worth it.
Ron Meyers (23:42):
How can people connect with you or listen to
some of your podcast, or maybesend you a note?
Jenna Banks (23:49):
Oh, thank you for asking.
Yeah, my, my website,jenna-bankscom, is really the
the place to start because thereare links to everything.
You'll find my Instagram andYouTube and my powerful women
plus channel, which you want towatch.
The video version of my show.
You'll find it on Roku, googleplay, apple, all that stuff,
(24:09):
apple TV You'll find all thelinks on my website.
I'm quite active on LinkedIn aswell, so just type in my name,
jenna Banks, and, yeah, emailand everything.
It's all on there.
Ron Meyers (24:23):
Well, jenna, I want to thank you for taking time to
visit with me, and we appreciateyou so very much, and keep
spreading the love.
Jenna Banks (24:33):
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having me on to havethis conversation, Ron.
I appreciate you and all thatyou're doing to positively
impact the world.
So thank you wow.
Ron Meyers (24:57):
jenna was so real and transparent and, friends, I
would highly encourage you to goto her website jennabankscom.
I know there's a hyphen inthere, but you'll find her.
You'll find her.
You'll see this dynamic picture, this dynamic story and all
kinds of links to things shedoes in her shows.
Get connected with her because,friends, as I said when I
opened up this show, we have tostick together.
We have to encourage andinspire other people and never
(25:21):
think that you know everything,because we don't know everything
.
Every day is a new day, everyminute is a new minute.
And just think about this If youget the hell out of your life
by loving yourself more, lovingthe talents, skills and
(25:42):
abilities that you have, andembracing how you are different,
you are different because youwere made to be different.
God doesn't make duplicates.
We are an original, one of akind copy, and you've got an
awesome, awesome destiny.
I know I've been talking aboutit in interviewing people for
(26:03):
many years and we're all afterwhat is it I'm placed on this
planet for and what can I do tohelp other people enjoy life?
Well, friends, if you have astory to share, I would love for
you to go to my website,thepromoterorg.
Send me a little note and wewill share your story with the
(26:26):
world Until next week.
This is Ron Myers, remindingyou that I love you, god loves
you, and it's time to get thehell out of your life and love
yourself just as much as Godloves you.
Get the hell out.
Announcer (26:49):
Get the hell out.
Get the hell out of your life.
Get the hell out of your lifeis underwritten by the Christmas
City Gift Show.
We invite you to come shop withover 255 vendors from all over
the United States From November8th through the 10th inside the
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(27:09):
mississippi.
You can find more informationat christmascitygiftshowcom.
Thanks for listening, and ifyou would like to share your
story of what God has done inyour life or listen to previous
episodes, please visit ourwebsite, thepromoterorg.
Join us next week for anotherepisode of Get the Hell Out of
your Life Real stories, realstruggles and real hope.
(27:33):
Thank you,
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