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February 28, 2025 27 mins

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Heartfelt conversations about loss and healing unfold in this episode. Ken and Mark share their personal stories of losing loved ones, discussing the role of faith in overcoming grief.

- Exploration of the deep feelings surrounding grief and loss
- Personal anecdotes from Ken and Mark about losing their wives
- Discussion about the importance of faith for coping with grief
- Insights on how non-believers can find peace in times of loss
- Practical advice on processing grief and recognizing signs from God
- Encouragement to listeners to seek hope and guidance through faith

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's time now to get the hell out of your life.
A weekly broadcast with realpeople sharing real struggles
and offering real hope.
Today's show will encourage,inspire and empower you to face
life's challenges with a boldconfidence and renewed hope.
Now let's join our host, ronMyers.
The promoter.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hello friends, thanks for tuning in today.
We hope you are having awonderful day.
Ron is taking a few days off.
My name is Mark McCraw, I'mRon's producer and today we're
talking about loss.
You know there are two types oflisteners who tune into this
program.
One type believes in God andseeks a lot of guidance in life.
The other type of listener doesnot believe in God and possibly

(00:45):
just lives life doing the bestthey can from one day to the
next.
Recently, ken Leonard and I satdown with Ron for an interview
regarding the loss of our wives.
Our conversation, hopefully,will provide some insight for
believers and non-believersalike regarding loss in life,
both from a Christianperspective and a non-Christian

(01:08):
perspective.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Give us a little background on you, Ken, and the
loss that you experienced.

Speaker 4 (01:13):
Local area musician for a lot of years, met my wife
who was a singer, so wenaturally hit it off.
We were both from up north, sowe were both two Yankees that
kind of found each other downhere in the south, helped each
other out, fell in love with thepeople down here and then she
had, um, about 10 years worth ofcancer, a fight that she had to
go through where get cured comeback, get cured, come back.

(01:34):
We had to live through that.
So I lost her the decemberbefore christmas, last christmas
and, uh, to go through thischristmas holidays.
It was a little different, so Imade it through and I'm going
to start my second year withouther.

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Mark.
Yeah, my wife passed in June of2020 after six years of
endometrial cancer, and you knowit's tough when you lose your
spouse.
Patrice was my best friend.
She was my lover, my wife, mysoulmate, the mom to my kids,
and it was very difficult, verychallenging.

Speaker 3 (02:11):
You know, I said as I opened this that we have two
types of listeners those thatbelieve in God and those that
don't believe in God.
So let me just ask you both howhas God helped you through your
situation?

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Mark, I believe that if I had not had God in my life,
you know, there is no way,there is no way that I could
have handled her passing,absolutely no way.
But because I had God in mylife.
It's sort of like that posterthat you see sometimes in the
libraries and the bookstores,where it's two sets of
footprints on the sand and thepicture is that Jesus is walking

(02:49):
with us through life and thenall of a sudden you see one set
of footprints and the caption issomething along the lines of
you know, why did Jesus leave me?
Well, you know, in myinterpretation and I think most
people when they see that posteris that Jesus didn't leave us.
He actually carried us.
You know, and that's what Ibelieve, I believe that God
carried me through that time.

(03:10):
After Patrice's passing, youknow, and even during her
struggle with endometrial cancer, you know the doctor's
appointments where we didn't getthe diagnosis that we wanted.
You know the disappointments ofthe news, the cancer getting
worse and spreading in her body.
There is no way that we couldhave walked through that without

(03:31):
God.
I mean, psalms tells us thathe's our refuge and our strength
.
Well, refuge, you know, that'sa place where you can go and
actually sort of hide from yourtroubles.
You know, and he's our strength, he gives us the strength to
walk through any difficultiesthat we face in life.
Ken.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
The thing that kept me going was just knowing that
she was that real tackyexpression.
Oh well, she's someplace better.
Well, yeah, she is someplacebetter.
She's in heaven and she's withGod and I think, with my
Christian beliefs, it madeeverything with God and I think,
with my Christian beliefs, itmade everything much more
comfortable while I was here,through their loss, through the
bad times, being able to pick upa Bible and read it.

(04:11):
And a lot of people are goinglike, well, the Bible is all
fiction or you know, we havesuch a big population now and
it's being taught that it's not.
There's so much truth in theBible.

Speaker 3 (04:22):
But the thing is that we're talking today not reading
the Bible.
We're talking with personalexperience.
You experienced the can, thepeace that God gave you, Mark.
You experienced God carryingyou.
And they may ask well, how doyou experience that?
You just can tell, you justknow that something's different

(04:47):
now, and it has to be God.
Somebody is helping me throughthis situation, and that's what
I want to convey through today'sshow is for those of you that
have not tried God yet, youdon't believe in God.
I want you to possibly considerit after you hear from Ken and
Mark today.

(05:07):
What would you tell someone,Mark, that just lost someone in
their life and you start talkingto them and then they interrupt
you and say, well, wait, holdon a minute, I don't believe in
God.
What would you tell them?
True?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
peace in life.
True peace in life, can onlycome from a relationship with
Jesus.
That's the only place you'regoing to get it.
No other place in the world isnot going to give you peace, and
when your spouse passes or yourchild passes or you suffer any
kind of a traumatic loss likethat, that's the only place

(05:46):
you're going to find.
Peace is in Jesus.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Ken same question to you.

Speaker 4 (05:51):
Yeah, I'd have to say you really need to spend time
listening because God will talkto you.
Jesus will talk to you.
As far-fetched as that seems,he does talk to you and again,
that's he does talk to you andagain, that's where you get your
peace from.
But you have to sit down, youhave to meet him halfway.
It's like meeting a good friendfor breakfast in the morning,

(06:13):
like we all just did um, andthen we all take times listening
to each other.
It's not just combing, sittingdown and demanding something.
It's really opening your ears,sitting down and demanding
something.
It's really opening your ears,learning to listen and really
taking the option that,believing the option that, okay,
I'm here, talk to me.
And again, like Mark said, thisis where the true peace comes.

(06:35):
If you lose somebody, if you,you know somebody's taken out of
your life, the peace you'regoing to get is not from the
world, it's going to be from outof this world, it's going to be
from God, it's going to be fromJesus.

Speaker 3 (06:52):
I told you this morning that I had a real hard
time when I lost my job.
I was terminated with noexpectation that that was even
coming down the pike and I satin this office, right here where
we are, in the studio, and itwas a quiet, dark day and I said
, lord, why would this happen?
Why would you allow this?
And I really heard that quietlittle voice that you just spoke

(07:16):
of, ken, and it said you can'tput your identity in your job,
which you did, ron.
You were a general manager of aradio station.
That became your identity, andI bring that up because at one
time your identity was a husband, as you said, a spouse, a

(07:37):
partner, a lover, all that.
And now, how is life different,mark, with for you out there
just doing life and you're allalone, you and your son.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
That's right.
Well, patrice and I adopted alittle baby boy when he was
first born.
He is now 13 years old.
He'll be 14 soon.
He's in the eighth grade.
It's just him and I.
We just do life on a daily basis.
I rely on my relationship withJesus to guide me, because I got
to tell you something.
I'm 66 years old and my wifewas the one who was really good

(08:12):
with kids, and I've beensufficient with kids, but she is
the one who knew what to do.
She was the one who always knewthe right thing to say.
She was the one who always knewthe right thing to say.
She was the one who planned themost awesome birthday parties
for them.
You know, and me, I'm a goodprovider, you know.
I can give my son gooddirection, you know, but

(08:35):
sometimes, when he's having achallenge with something, I
don't always know the rightthing to say, I do my best, you
know, and that's where I have torely on God to give me some
kind of guidance.
And sometimes I catch myselfgoing honey, what do I say to
him, honey?
What do I do?

Speaker 3 (08:54):
I remember one time you told me, mark, you know God.
I think God always gives ussigns just to let us know he's
with us, just little winks.
And you told me one time thatevery time you seem to get in
the car after a doctor'sappointment, that there was
always a certain song on theradio.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
Yeah, it's.
Lauren Daigle is a contemporaryChristian artist and she has a
song called Thy Will Be Done andthis is no joke, no
exaggeration at all Every singletime we had a doctor's
appointment.
You know we never got the newswe were looking for, but we
would get in the car, turn onthe radio and that song would be

(09:33):
playing Thy Will Be Done.
And then, june of 2020, shepasses.
And for two years I struggledwith whether that was God's will
and I've come to the conclusionthat I think he just didn't
want her to suffer anymore.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
Well, we pray for healing, right?
Well, she got the ultimatehealing.
The ultimate healing, yeah.
What about you, ken?
What's life like now?
Just you and your little kittycat, right, and don't you have a
dog?

Speaker 4 (10:06):
I have a dog and a cat now yeah, exactly, and a lot
of really good friends andfamily that have been very good
support.
But for anybody who losessomebody, you still go home
alone.
That's the thing, and yourkitty and your dog are there and
they kind of distract you.
Meow, right, exactly, yeah,that's it Every morning and
every night when you're tryingto sleep and, uh, the but the
thing with you can only getdistracted so much and

(10:28):
eventually you'll get distractedby the wrong thing.
So again, when you havesomeplace that you're looking
other than what's in front ofyou, if you can, if you grab
that belief, that's what'sreally helped me.
It's sort of like I can't.
I'm not smart enough of aperson to really keep myself

(10:49):
mentally occupied with goodthings all the time.
I really got to have thatreminder of God giving me little
symbols like, oh yeah, this wasa little of her favorite song.
Okay, that kind of cheers me up, even though she's not here,
and it's just one of thoselittle reminders like, ok, yeah,
she's, she's doing good, but Iswear you here and God will give

(11:09):
you little reminders or littlesmiles or little twinkles that
he's got you and I swear he does.
It's, it's, it's amazing.

Speaker 3 (11:19):
OK, now let's turn it to the listeners.
I want each of you to talk to alistener right now, whether
they believe in God or not God,but they lost a dear friend or
maybe somebody, a relative, andyou can talk to them as a friend
to another friend.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah, you know I want to encourage anyone who's
listening that, and some maydisagree with this, but this is
my own experience.
You do not have to be saved inorder for God to begin to
influence your life.
And I say that because threemonths before I actually walked
down the aisle and acceptedChrist into my life, One

(12:01):
Saturday morning, I just foundmyself reading the Sermon on the
Mount in Matthew, chapter five,and I perceived this voice in
my mind saying if you will justfollow me, everything will be
all right.
And at that time my wife at thetime was filing for divorce and
this is a wife before Patrice,Correct, you know and I was

(12:22):
faced with having to move out ofthe house, you know, and just
start all over again.
And my daughter was four yearsold and my wife and I had been
together for 10 years.
I was not yet saved.
But yet at that time I reallybelieve that God spoke to me,
saying if you'll just follow me,everything will be all right.

Speaker 3 (12:41):
It's like he was preparing you for something
coming up.
Exactly, that's exactly mypoint, ken.
What would you tell someone outthere that is experienced in a
loss through a family member, ormaybe even themselves?
Give them some hope and somecomfort.

Speaker 4 (12:56):
I would say yeah.
I would say that I'm not goingto tell you that things are
going to be easy or things aregoing to get smoother, but
there's.
If you there's, this may be atime for you to find your own
quiet time and be able toactually find joy in a talk with
God.
You don't even have to be bornagain yet, because he'll talk to

(13:18):
you.
You don't have to be any kindof believer whatsoever.
But, believe it or not, if youcan find quiet time and still
yourself, I promise he'll talkto you and I promise he'll give
you better advice than I couldever give, and just knowing that
there's something there iswhat's going to help get you

(13:38):
through.

Speaker 3 (13:39):
And we, as believers, have the greatest hope, and I
want to end it on this we havethe greatest hope we are going
to be together again with ourloved ones.

Speaker 4 (13:52):
Always.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Yep, and I said, listen, even if I had a
hesitation about believing inGod, I might believe in God just
so I can go see my family.
I might have to try out thisJesus because I want to see my
family again.
And hey, that's fine, you cancome to Jesus like that.
He'll do the rest.
He actually created the worldso he can handle your
insecurities out there.

(14:14):
What do you think you have hopeout there?
What do you think you have hope?
You're sad but yet you'reexcited because one day you're
all going to be together foreternity, not just 30, 40, 50
years.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Exactly and think about it like this If you don't
have hope, what do you have inlife?
What do you have If you don'thave hope?
Hope for anything, hope for afuture, hope for salvation, hope
that you don't spend eternityin separation from God.
If you don't have hope, youdon't have anything.

Speaker 3 (14:44):
You know, when you said that, mark, I had this
image in my mind of a pinballmachine.
And if you don't have hope,you're like that little ball
that goes from ding, ding, ding,ding, ding, ding.
It goes all over the place.
Yeah, yeah, it never restsanywhere.
It has all over the place.
Yeah, yeah, it never restsanywhere.
It has nothing to rest on.
It's always finding a place tofit into.
But with God we fit in, evenwith all the weird stuff in this

(15:07):
world and all the crazy thingsthat happen in all of our lives.
He's there, as you said earlier, with us, carrying us, cheering
us on, encouraging us.
You know, sometimes, friends,we hear a lot about God and
judgment and punishment and allthis, and those are before Jesus
days but we don't hear enoughabout.

(15:28):
He's our friend, he's anencourager, he's a motivator.
He doesn't walk around with areport card and a clipboard
every day grading this.
He walks around loving the hellout of our lives, doesn't he?

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Exactly right, and you said a word a moment ago
that I think is key is rest.
Rest when you have hope thatyou can only get from Jesus and
a relationship with God.
That you get rest If you areburdened with the troubles in
your life, the loss that youhave faced.
If you are burdened with thatand you cannot get sleep at

(16:03):
night, you find yourselfdragging every day.
You can actually get rest foryour spirit by a relationship
with Jesus.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
I think of a guest I had on here one time and friends
, it's a great podcast to listento John Boy.
He said that he was gettingready to go to prison and he saw
all these Christians on oneside of the room the night
before, just happy singing andpraising, and he said I couldn't
understand, Ron, I didn't knowabout God and no one ever told

(16:33):
me about God.
But we're all going to jail andyet these Christians are happy.
And all he did is that night hewent out on his porch to sleep.
That night he looked up in thesky and he said hey, dude, if
you're real, I need some of thatjoy and his life changed.
So there's no magic prayer,there's no sinner's prayer in

(16:55):
the Bible, it's just calling on.
Hey, dude, he knows who youmean.
Hey, Jesus, I need a little bitof help here.
And I tell people test him, Ifyou're real, I need some peace.
If you're real, give me a sign.
He does that.
What do you think, Ken?

Speaker 4 (17:11):
No, I agree you had said earlier about losing your
job, and we get so gobsmackedwhen we lose things our favorite
car jobs, people that we knowand that shows you that maybe
your relationship to earth andeverything that's going around

(17:32):
is a little too strong and maybewhat you really need to do is
work on not who you are on earth, but who you are with God.
And I think that's the thingthat made the difference was
like you know, I'm not my job,I'm not, I'm not even really
good at my job.
I kind of go and fake it, andI'm sure a lot of people feel
that way.
I wasn't the best husbandbecause I'd be cranky, but you

(17:56):
know what, and by earthstandards are something else,
but by God's standards, hereally wants to be your friend,
he really wants to be with youand it's just like just give him
the hey dude speech and that'sthat's it.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
Hey, like the old commercial for years ago, I'll
tell my age try it.

Speaker 2 (18:13):
You'll like it.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
Well, Mark, will you close us out in prayer for the
listeners and for anyone outthere that has lost anything or
you're going through somethingright now.
Mark, will you pray?

Speaker 2 (18:28):
Our Father in heaven.
Lord, god, I thank you for thistime.
God, I thank you for everyonewho's listening right now.
Lord, you have proven to me andshown me that you will reach
anyone.
You will reach anyone, nomatter their circumstance, their
situation.
Father, you call us by name.
You are the one who draws us toyou and, lord, I just ask you

(18:52):
just to reach out and call theselisteners by name.
I ask you, father, to touchtheir heart, touch their mind,
father, that they can perceiveyou.
And, lord, that if they'regoing through difficulties in
life, no matter what it isaddictions, abuse, the loss of
loved ones, loss of a job Father, I just ask you just to reach

(19:15):
out and touch them and let themknow, father, that you can carry
them, that you can get themthrough their difficult times,
that you can give them strengthand peace and that you can give
them a hope in a relationshipwith Jesus.
Father, I just thank you, lord,for everyone who's listening.
I ask you, god, to bless them,strengthen them in every way,

(19:40):
give them peace supernaturally.
Give them peace and I thank youfor it, God.
We claim it right now in Jesus'name Amen.
Coming up some thoughts abouthandling loss in our life.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
You're listening to Get the Hell Out of your Life
with your host, ron Myers.
Real stories, real strugglesand real hope.
Ron.

Speaker 5 (20:07):
Myers real stories, real struggles and real hope.
What's your story?
We're looking for stories ofhope and overcoming life's
struggles with God's grace.
Your story validates God's love, mercy, restoration and
forgiveness.
We want to help you share yourstory with the world.
Visit our website,thepromoterorg, and click on the

(20:29):
share your story link andsubmit your story.
Your testimony of God's amazinggrace will change a person's
destiny for eternity.

Speaker 2 (20:37):
You know, no matter who you are, we all experience
loss of some sort.
Loss is one of the hardestexperiences we face in life.
My name is Mark and this is theJourney, whether it's the
passing of a loved one, the lossof a job or the end of a
relationship, loss can leave usfeeling broken and questioning

(20:58):
God's purpose in our life.
We will all experience loss atone time or another.
But the big question is how doyou handle your loss?
I think about the Bible storyof Job.
You know, job lost everythinghe had his livestock, his wealth
, his children, wife and homeall in one day.

(21:18):
I cannot even imagine goingthrough a loss that extreme.
But Job did somethingincredible he worshiped God.
He did not deny his grief.
In fact, he mourned his lossesdeeply.
He didn't understand why he wassuffering, but he held on to
his faith and chose to trust inGod.

(21:39):
When we face loss in our life,we must understand that it's
okay to grieve, it's okay tofeel the weight and sorrow of
our loss, but we're also calledto trust that God is still in
control.
Even when we don't see the fullpicture, our pain is not the
end of the story.
You see, god is always workingon our behalf and he promises to

(22:02):
bring restoration in Hisperfect timing.
Romans chapter 8 tells us thatfor those who love God and are
called according to His purpose,he is working things together
for our good.
So be encouraged today that inyour loss, god is with you and
will never leave you.
He is already working tostrengthen you for tomorrow.

(22:26):
Thanks for joining us today.

(22:59):
My name is Mark, and Ron askedme to finish up today's
broadcast.
You know we will all experienceloss at some point in our lives
, but how we handle loss may bedetermined by the importance we
place on that which we lost.
Sometimes we tend to place morevalue on relationships and the
things in this world than we doon our relationship with

(23:21):
Almighty God.
The reality is that the onlypermanent God, the reality is
that the only permanent,everlasting thing in this life,
is our spiritual relationshipwith God, our Father in heaven.
Everything else is temporary.
Job said of his loss naked Icame from my mother's womb and
naked shall I return there.
The Lord giveth and the Lordtaketh away.

(23:43):
In times of great loss, we'vegot to learn to trust God and
not lean on our ownunderstanding.
We can never really understandwhy God would take a loved one
from us, or why things happen inour lives the way they do, but
we can trust that God is alwayswith us and will never leave us.
We must also remember all ofGod's benefits to us.

(24:05):
He forgives all our sins, healsour diseases, redeems us from
spiritual death and leads us toall the wonderful things of life
.
We can't control the events ofour life.
No one knows what tomorrow willbring.

Speaker 1 (24:37):
But if we learn to let the peace of God rule in our
heart and mind, then the stingof loss is not as great.

Speaker 5 (24:41):
If you want to know what the future holds, get in
touch with the one who holds thefuture.

Speaker 3 (24:45):
Stop wasting time and get a hold of God.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
It's not about earning points by being good.
It ain't about some boringchurch.
It's not about working your wayto heaven.
Finding God is not aboutfollowing some group who claims
to be the only way to God.
It's not about being religious.
It's not about religion.
It's all about God's only son.
It's all about Jesus.

Speaker 5 (25:03):
It's all about Jesus.
It's all about Jesus, it'sabout Jesus Christ and it's all
about you.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
It's all about you, Jesus.

Speaker 5 (25:12):
Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father, butby me.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
Well, someday, when I stand before God and he asks me
why should I let you intoheaven?
All that's going to matter isif I knew Jesus or not.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
And that's what it's all about, ron.
We'll be back in a moment towrap up today's conversation.
We want to encourage you todaywith God's promise to you.
It comes from the book ofJeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11.
For I know the plans I have foryou, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not toharm you, plans to give you

(25:51):
hope and a future.
That's God's promise to youwhen you choose to commit your
plans and future to Him.
Well, friends, our time is up.
Thanks for tuning in today.
We hope today's show will helpyou deal with any loss you may
be experiencing in your life,and if you'd like to hear
previous episodes of the show,just go to thepromoterorg.

(26:15):
Until next time, remember thatGod loves you, jesus loves you
and we love you.
And when you let Jesus get thehell out of your life, life gets
good.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
Today's show is proudly underwritten by the
Christmas City Gift Show.
Mark your calendars forNovember 7th through the 9th and
experience the magic inside theChristmas City Gift Show inside
the Mississippi CoastConvention Center located on the
beach in Biloxi, mississippi.
For more information, visitChristmasCityGiftShowcom.
If you would like to be a guestand share your story of God's

(27:00):
amazing grace, visit our website, thepromoter, and click the
Share your Story tab button.
Thanks for listening and if youwould like to listen to
previous episodes, click on thepodcast tab at thepromoterorg.
Join us next week for anotheredition of Get the Hell Out of
your Life Real stories, realstruggles and real hope.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
We would like to express our gratitude to Coffee
News for their support of thisprogram.
Are you tired of scrollingthrough the same old news feeds
every morning?
Then switch things up withCoffee News.
Our publication is filled withinteresting stories, brain
teasers and uplifting quotesthat are sure to brighten your
day, and now you can accessCoffee News anytime, anywhere,

(27:44):
by visiting our website.
So, whether you're sipping yourmorning coffee at your favorite
cafe or browsing online fromyour desk, we've got you covered
.
Start your day off right withCoffee News at
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

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