Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's time now to get
the hell out of your life.
A weekly broadcast with realpeople sharing real struggles
and offering real hope.
Today's show will encourage,inspire and empower you to face
life's challenges with a boldconfidence and renewed hope.
Now let's join our host, ronMyers.
The promoter.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Hello, my friend, I
am so glad to be with you today.
If you had the type of weekthat I had, well, then you need
some encouragement.
I had a rough week, but withGod, all things work together
for good.
Now, if this is your first timelistening, my name is Ron Myers
and this show is about sharingstories about Jesus.
(00:44):
That's right real stories, realstruggles and real hope.
99% of my guests never metJesus inside of a church.
They met Jesus when they begana search for the answers to is
Jesus real and will he help mewith my troubles.
Is Jesus real and will he helpme with my troubles?
(01:06):
Today's guest is Captain Ron, aman who loves to share his
story about battling sexualaddiction.
Welcome to the studios, captainRon.
How are you today?
Speaker 4 (01:17):
If I was any better,
I'd be twins.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
I've heard that a few
times.
Well, we're going to talk aboutsomething today.
Your story, it's an unspokenstory.
Most we're going to talk aboutsomething today.
Your story, it's an unspokenstory.
Most people don't want to talkabout this.
So what is the unspoken sinSecret?
Speaker 4 (01:34):
sexual addiction,
secret sex behavior, pornography
is a good one.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Now, how long have
you dealt with this?
Speaker 4 (01:44):
Probably since I was
eight not eight, but maybe 10,
11, 12 years old.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Does an addict with
anything, whether it's drugs,
alcohol or pornography?
Are you ever cured?
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Well, it's a yes and
no.
Alcohol and drugs.
Those are something that youcan give up.
But sex and eating you have toeat and we're sexual beings.
So it's hard to say I'm goingto stop this.
I've gotten help in this area.
It was a long, hard road.
(02:18):
It wasn't easy and it's alifetime thing.
You don't go take a course orsee a pastor or something and
all of a sudden you're free fromit.
It's not that God can't do this, it's not that he can't free us
from this, because he can.
He can do anything.
But sex addiction is somethingthat's in the flesh.
(02:41):
You have to discipline theflesh.
You can't cast it out like it'sa demon or a devil because it's
in the flesh.
You have to discipline theflesh.
You can't cast it out like it'sa demon or a devil because it's
in the flesh.
It's your flesh.
You have to discipline, it hasto be disciplined, and it takes
a while to do that.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
Preachers youth
leaders, women, men.
This is a rampant problem, it'srampant.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
It's everybody, just
about everybody.
I mean the statistics say 70%of men Christian men struggle
with it and 50% of the pastorsstruggle with it and 50% of the
women struggle with it.
And the fastest-growing segmentof people who look at porn now
(03:22):
are young teenage girls, becausethey're wanting to find out
what the boys are looking at,and so they're.
They're exploring in the in inthe porn to find out what it's
all about, and then it's veryeasy to get hooked.
All you got to do is just lookat it once if it's so rampant,
why is it unspoken in thechurches?
(03:44):
Well, two things you don't talkabout in church is money and sex
.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Why is that?
Speaker 4 (03:49):
Well, people don't
want to hear it, they'll leave
and you start talking about andsexual immorality is the top of
the list of works of the fleshand it's the thing that's least
talked about.
So you would think that apreacher would talk about that,
would start at the top of thelist of things that are are are
(04:12):
works of the flesh, but it nevergets mentioned.
Speaker 3 (04:15):
And, um, since half
the preachers struggle with it,
they certainly ain't going totalk about it but you called me
up and you want to share yourstory, your struggles with that,
because you want to help otherpeople out there.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
That's right.
That's absolutely right.
It's a very dark place, uh, toget into, uh and uh.
When you're in there, at firstit just seems like, well, it's
no big deal, everybody does it,it's just no big deal.
But it is a big deal.
It's a very, very big deal.
And it just goes down a darkpath.
It gets darker and darker anddarker and I got to the point to
(04:54):
where I didn't want to do thatanymore.
I didn't want to do that, andthat's when I found out how big
of a deal it was, because Iwanted to stop and realize that
I couldn't stop.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
Well, I think there's
a hunger in all of us, whether
we acknowledge God or we do notacknowledge God.
There's a hunger in us to lookfor truth.
Speaker 4 (05:12):
But, more important,
we are giving the devil a
foothold in our life, and if youwant to stop doing that and
find help, where are you goingto go?
I thought if I went to churchand a lot of people probably
think that, well, if I go tochurch, they can help me at
church because it's a spiritualmatter it's a.
(05:34):
It's immorality is a spiritualmatter.
I mean, there's more to it thanthat, but then we'll start
there.
So there's a great deal ofshame that goes along with sex
addiction, and there's probablymore shame with sex addiction
than there is.
First, I want to point out thatsex addiction is not about sex
(05:54):
so much as it is aboutmedicating the pain that's in
your life.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
Is that what you were
doing?
Speaker 4 (06:01):
You were medicating
pain in your life.
Right, I was medicating theheck out of it, but a lot of
people don't know what the painis.
They just know they have painand probably the biggest pain is
I'm not worthy, I am a mistake.
I'm a God goofed up when hemade me.
(06:23):
You know, the world would bebetter off without me.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Then really I can
drink, I can smoke drugs, I can
watch porn.
I can do anything, because youknow what.
It doesn't really matter,because no one cares about me.
Is that what you're kind ofsaying?
Speaker 4 (06:38):
Yeah, uh, but you,
you, you're trying to to
medicate that pain.
You don't want to feel thatpain you don't want to feel.
You'll do anything not to feelthat pain.
Shame toxic shame is a is aterrible thing and people will
do anything not to feel that.
And that's why I believe allthe addictions are that we get
caught up in is that we're justtrying to medicate that pain.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
So are you saying
today there is hope, that there
is life after the unspoken sin?
Speaker 4 (07:05):
There's absolutely
hope.
There's plenty of hope, Hope,there's all kind of hope that's
available.
But here's the problem If youask any alcoholic or a person
that uses drug or porn oranything do you want to stop?
Well, they want to stop.
They'll do anything in theworld.
They'll tell you that itdepends on what part of the
cycle that they're in.
(07:26):
They'll tell you anything.
They'll tell you I want to stopthis more than anything else.
And then, okay, well, you needto do this and this and this.
And then it's a oh wait, aminute, I didn't know, I had to
do it today.
Can we do this tomorrow?
Speaker 3 (07:38):
Well, how long did
you personally deal with it
before you said enough is enoughand I'm going to make a change
today?
20 years, 20 years 30 years.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
When I got on the
internet for the first time, the
first thing I wanted to do showme how to get to a porn site.
That's the very first thingback in dial-up time.
Before that it was rentingvideos from those seedy adult
stores, and before that it waslooking at magazines.
And before that, as a child, itwas browsing Sears and Roebuck
(08:11):
catalogs and going to the ladiessection to see girls in panties
.
Speaker 3 (08:16):
And we have to remind
people that's not a flaw in you
.
We are human.
We are flawed individuals.
Sex it's an emotion in us, soGod created us to multiply and
have sex, but in an area ofmarriage.
Speaker 4 (08:30):
Right where he says
it's okay to have it.
We're sexual beings.
You can't.
Just, I'm not going to besexually.
You can't do that For mostpeople or some people are, but
it doesn't matter if it's notfor anybody else.
If it's for you, then you knowit's for you, I mean, and it
just, and it's fun, it'sexciting for a while until you
(08:53):
want to stop.
And then, when you try and stop, then you realize how much in
bondage you are.
Speaker 3 (09:01):
That's the word
bondage.
So you were in bondage, so didit?
Consume you it consumed me.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
When I got on, I had
an online business, so I had to
be online all the time.
Well, I ended up spending four,spending four, five, six hours
a day looking at porn.
You can't look at it and notact out in some way or the other
.
You're going to act out withself-medication or you're going
(09:29):
to go out and find someone elseto act out with.
You can't just look at it andwalk away from it.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
It just it doesn't
happen.
No, but you have a passion.
You are absolutely committed tohelp people get out of bondage
and live the life that Godcreated them to live.
Speaker 4 (09:48):
Absolutely.
I mean, it's probably nothingthat you know men.
They like to feel like they canhandle things on their own.
I can do this, I don't need anyhelp.
I don't need any help with this.
I don't need any help with that.
But when it comes to this, youcan't do it on your own.
(10:11):
You absolutely have to haveaccountability with other men
who are struggling with it inorder to get any victory over it
at all.
I can't tell you how many timesI quit, I quit, I quit.
I'm never going to do it again.
30 minutes later, I'm backdoing it again.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
How do people deal
with this?
If churches don't talk about it, where can people go to get?
Speaker 4 (10:37):
help.
Well, there's a program calledSoul Refiner soulrefinercom.
It was a.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
As a matter of fact,
captain Ron, I went to their
website and let's listen to apromotion about this program,
and then we can talk about it.
I was a rageaholic, I was analcoholic and I was a sex addict
.
You have to understand theaddictive dynamics that you're
fighting.
You will renew the structure ofyour mind.
Speaker 5 (11:10):
The Conquer series is
the most successful small group
series ever made, and we'rejust getting started.
We spent the past seven yearsworking on something that will
totally transform the church.
Wounded and broken people areflooding our pews, enslaved to
addictions, marriages, familieslives are falling apart, so we
(11:33):
decided to come alongside thechurch and do something about it
.
It's called Soul Refiner.
We're putting something big insmall groups, hey.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
You have been
prisoners long enough.
How much longer are you goingto let those chains?
Speaker 1 (11:56):
bind you.
Speaker 5 (11:57):
This is a turnkey
ministry for your church, a
powerful tool to help peopledeal with life's deepest
struggles soulrefinercom is awebsite where you or your church
can stream cinematic smallgroup videos that focus on
lifelong healing and freedomwe're not going for short
termterm Band-Aid stuff.
We're going for permanentleadership.
(12:18):
We've gathered the topChristian teachers and experts
and created original content toprovide answers and solutions to
the tough and messy issues oflife.
Sometimes we bring some thingsinto our families that maybe
shouldn't be there.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
I had to face it.
I had to do the hard stuff.
Today I can teach you all kindsof parenting techniques, but
the key is you need to be ahealthy person.
Let's make church the placewhere you heal from whatever
life throws at you.
Speaker 4 (12:48):
No fluff, no cheese
Jesus didn't die on the cross to
give us the ability to cope.
He died on the cross to give usthe ability to cope.
He died on the cross to give usthe ability to conquer.
Speaker 5 (12:56):
Grace covers our sins
, but it doesn't take away our
problems.
Soulrefinercom is more than awebsite where you can stream
cinematic small group series oninner healing.
It's a platform for you tosafely and easily create, manage
and lead groups, learn together, hold each other accountable,
track progress and experiencetrue discipleship anywhere,
(13:18):
anytime, on any device.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
The essence of Soul
Refiner is sanctification.
It's to disciple men, women andchildren to become conquerors,
overcomers and leaders in Christ.
Transformation happens by therenewing of the mind.
Speaker 5 (13:31):
If you want God to do
something new, you have to have
a different approach.
We hope you'll join us.
Let's bring healing to thebroken and freedom to the
captives.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Whom the sun sets
free is free indeed.
Speaker 5 (13:45):
Sign up at
soulrefinercom, where true
transformation begins in therefiner's fire.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
Well, Captain Rahm,
that's a promo of the program
that has helped you immensely inlife overcome sexual addiction.
Tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
Part of the alumni
that produced the program was a
former Marine pilot who flied inVietnam.
He was an alcoholic, arageaholic and a sexaholic and,
uh, he put this program togetherto help me and and it's the
best one that I've ever seen.
You're talking about Ted.
Yeah, ted Ted Roberts, dr TedRoberts, and it's called a
(14:27):
conquer series and it's put onby soul refinercom.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
So somebody that
doesn't want to, because, as you
said earlier that if you aredealing with shame, you're not
going to go tell your preacher,you're not going to tell your
priest, you're not going to gotell your rabbi, you're not
going to go tell anybody.
But you can go online tosoulrefinercom and begin a
journey to become free, to getout of bondage.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Right, you can get.
You can get out of bondage.
You can.
It takes a while, it takes in.
In 90 days you can get a goodhandle on it.
But it's going to be two to twoto five years, they say, for
you to get totally free.
And personally, after havingdone this, uh, for the last 10
years, I believe that once youstart the journey, it's just
(15:15):
going to be a lifetime thing.
You're not never going to betotally free.
You can go back in it, just in,in, just like that and uh.
Speaker 3 (15:25):
Well, it's like
anything drugs, alcohol, you
know.
It just is something thatdiscipline and and through God,
and through programs and andtalking with people, with other
men With other men.
Speaker 4 (15:38):
Accountability with
other men.
Do you have that?
I have that.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Where do you have
that?
Do you have that online or doyou have that locally?
Speaker 4 (15:45):
I have some online
and I have some locally.
I have some online and I havesome locally.
I have people that, uh, when Iuh, when I'm starting to slip,
that I can call, that, they canrock, uh, they can walk me
through.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
So is accountability
important.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
A very accountability
is 50% of it.
You're not going to do it onyour own.
You're not going to.
Uh, it's just not going tohappen.
That's like grading your ownterm papers.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
You're older now and
you dealt with it for many years
.
Do you ever look back andrealize how much you missed out
on life because you didn't havethe tools or resources, that
your life may be totallydifferent than if you could have
got help 15, 20 years?
Speaker 4 (16:27):
ago, it would have
been totally different.
I've spent most of my adultlife dealing with mental health
issues and addictions of onekind or another, and this is by
far been the worst one.
Speaker 3 (16:39):
One thing that the
point of this whole show is
about is that God has thisincredible, awesome plan for
each of us.
I want you to just talk to thatperson right now, to somebody
that tuned in and is saying man,I wish I didn't hear this,
because now I'm going to beaccountable for it.
Speaker 4 (16:55):
I just heard God
loves everybody and God
certainly loves you, but he'snot going to let you stay in
your sin.
He doesn't want you in your sin.
That's not his plan for yourlife.
So you have a choice to make.
Porn addiction ultimately comesdown to you making a choice Am
I going to do this or am I notgoing to do this?
(17:17):
And you have to get a handle onit, because when you're in
bondage to it, you don't have achoice.
It just happens, it just comesout of nowhere.
You can promise your wife, youcan promise the pastor, you can
promise yourself a hundred timeswith the most passion and and
and and uh commitment that youcan come up with, that You're
(17:39):
never going to do it again andyou're going to turn right
around doing again.
That's just the nature of it.
And uh, uh it's bondage and youknow I don't want to be in
bondage.
I didn't like it.
Speaker 3 (17:52):
Sometimes, when we
are idle and we're not doing
anything, that's when temptationjust comes in like a flood,
doesn't it?
Speaker 4 (18:00):
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, I'm just going to have alittle peek.
I'm just going to have a littlepeek, it's not.
You might not even startlooking at hardcore stuff.
You might start looking at,just maybe, girls in bikinis and
they're, they're, they're sexyand you, you, you know.
And then one thing leads toanother, right, one thing leads
to another.
What you're doing is that yougot dopamine in your brain so
(18:22):
you can, you're desensitized,you're desensitized to it.
So I've been clean for porn forabout two years, but I still
have memories.
I have memories of things thatI used to do, and all I have to
do is just allow myself to justto just uh, uh, uh, glide over
to some some memories, and thatdopamine pump starts pumping
(18:43):
just a little bit, and then youwant a little bit more and then
a little bit, and it's not goingto be a medication and it's not
going to be.
Speaker 3 (18:52):
That may be part of
it, and maybe talking to a
counselor or a doctor orpreacher is part of it, but we
have to totally surrender toJesus.
Right, we have to give it allto him.
Will you pray right now forpeople out there?
Speaker 4 (19:06):
Yes, Lord, I just
come to you right now, at this
time, and I'm just so blessed tobe with Ron here and thank him
for the opportunity to and I'mhonored by this to reach out and
help other people.
If you're struggling with this,guys and it's not just guys,
girls if you're struggling withthis, it's never going to end.
(19:27):
You're never going to stop iton your own.
If you think that, well, I'llgrow out of it when I get older
I'm 73 years old and I'm justnow getting out of it You're not
going to get married and thingsare going to get better.
Things will be fine for sixmonths or a year, and then
you're going to go back tolooking at porn.
(19:48):
That's just the nature of it.
You can't do it on your own.
So please seek out for help.
Seek help.
Don't be afraid to raise yourhand and say I need help.
Help's readily available.
You can have victory over this,but only with other people and
the blood of Jesus, amen, amen.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
You're listening to
Get the Hell Out of your Life
with your host, ron Myers.
Real stories, real strugglesand real hope.
Speaker 5 (20:27):
Here's a refreshing
word today from Ephesians 5, 17
and 18.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Therefore, do not be
unwise but understand what the
will of the Lord is, and do notbe drunk with wine in which is
dissipation, but be filled withthe spirit.
Speaker 6 (20:41):
The story you're
about to see, for the most part
is true.
It's going to happen, just likethe Bible said Someday Jesus is
coming back and taking hisfollowers to heaven.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
Lord have mercy.
I hate to fly.
Speaker 6 (20:53):
You'll be glad to be
there and God will be glad to
see you.
My boy, my boy whoo, You'llhave a big get together with
family and friends.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Well, now ain't this
just like old times?
Huh, they'll show you aroundthe place.
Speaker 6 (21:03):
That's my place right
over there.
It's going to be great.
But to get there, you firsthave to ask yourself an
important question have you beensaved?
Yeah, believe it or not, thisworld is headed toward a dead
end.
Should I get out of town beforesundown?
Yeah, and Jesus Christ is youronly hope of rescue, because
you'll never be good enough tomake it to heaven on your own,
and religion just won't do thetrick.
Speaker 3 (21:23):
Well, I don't want to
miss out on heaven on account
of a technicality.
Speaker 6 (21:26):
You won't miss out if
you let Jesus impact your life.
So if you want more out of lifethan living and dying, get to
know Jesus Christ and you'll beready for your ultimate
destination in heaven.
Speaker 4 (21:35):
There sure is going
to be some interesting people at
that party it.
Speaker 5 (21:42):
You don't like where
you're headed, rearrange it get
the hell out of your lifewelcome back listeners, captain
(22:06):
ron.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
What a story.
But who doesn't have a story?
All of us deal with something,but it is only through faith
that I have been able toovercome some pretty challenging
things in my life, and I loveto share stories that other
people share what they're goingthrough.
You know, sometimes you thinkyou're alone, don don't you?
(22:28):
You think nobody understandswhat I'm going through.
Well, my guests do.
My guests met Jesus outside ofa church.
My guests met Jesus when theyneeded something to hold on to
because everything seemed to befalling apart, and they found
something out that is soimportant that we can never
(22:50):
forget that.
Jesus loves to minister to youand to me.
He loves to encourage, inspireus, download some new thoughts.
He just needs us to be willingto step out of the way.
He just needs us to be willingto step out of the way and just
(23:11):
trust the finished works ofJesus.
Have you ever really thoughthow perfect of a job Jesus did?
I mean, he did it perfectly.
There is nothing that he didn'tdo, giving us total forgiveness
, freedom to become the personhe created us to be.
(23:33):
This grace that he gave us isunbelievable.
And people that struggle, likeCaptain Ron or some of my other
guests.
And just like I do and you do,we all struggle.
There is no one on this planetthat doesn't sin.
Every human being on thisplanet sins.
(23:55):
Yes, the Pope does, billyGraham did, everybody does.
We're humans, nobody exceptJesus, who walked this earth as
fully human, fully divine, nosin and trusting now in him.
Because, friends, how would youget through today, tomorrow,
(24:17):
next week without faith?
And you say, well, ron, that'seasy.
I don't have faith, I know, butyou have to rely on the faith
of yourself, you have to beprepared, you have to come up
with all the answers, you haveto understand what you have to
do for your family, for yourlife, for your job, for your
(24:38):
sanity.
At least us Christians, westill have to try to figure
things out, but when we let goand let God help us figure it
out, then we are ministered to,we have these new ideas and even
if nothing happens overnight,it allows us to sleep with some
(25:00):
peace, because while we aresleeping and resting in the
finished works of Jesus, he'sbehind the scenes arranging
things to how he needs it tofall in place, and we will walk
right into what he needs us towalk into and it's never a ditch
(25:23):
, it's never bad.
I've discovered over the yearsof walking with Jesus that I
give up trying to figure outwhat he's going to do.
I can't even comprehend thethings that happen in my life.
When they do, I'm thinking Icould have never figured this
(25:43):
out Never and what it does, ithelps people like me that need
faith that hey, listen, I don'thave a problem saying that I
don't want to try to figure thisstuff out on my own anymore
because I have screwed up toomany things.
It is amazing what life is likewhen I let Jesus inspire,
(26:07):
encourage and minister to me.
Jesus inspire, encourage andminister to me.
So, friends, my thought for youtoday is this that, no matter
what is happening in your life,there is something in your
future that will address all theneeds and the hurts and the
ideas and desires, everything inyour life.
(26:29):
It's just a waiting game.
We don't know how long to wait,but if we trust and wait upon
the Lord, upon Jesus, he willdeliver.
I believe it, my guests believeit, and that's my story and I'm
sticking to it.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Ron, we'll be back in
a moment to wrap up today's
conversation.
We want to encourage you todaywith God's promise to it.
Ron, we'll be back in a momentto wrap up today's conversation.
We want to encourage you todaywith God's promise to you.
It comes from the book ofJeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11.
For I know the plans I have foryou, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not toharm you.
Plans to give you hope and thefuture.
(27:08):
That's God's promise to youwhen you choose to commit your
plans and future to him Now backto Ron.
Speaker 3 (27:20):
Well, friends, my
time is up, and this week do not
allow anyone or anything tosteal your joy.
Your day is your day.
Pray in the morning that Godcontrols the circumstances that
enter your day.
Think positive, trust Jesus andremember Jesus loves you, I
(27:41):
love you, and when you giveJesus your heart, you discover
the awesome plan that he has foryou.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
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Coast Convention Center locatedon the beach in Biloxi,
Mississippi.
You can find more informationat ChristmasCityGiftShowcom.
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(28:12):
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your Life Real stories, realstruggles and real hope.