A Rule I Broke- and Why it Worked

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It wasn’t actually about the coffee.
It was about being real — and what happens when leaders stop performing and start actually connecting. 

In this episode, I unpack the egg white moment that sparked 80,000+ views… and why it resonated so deeply. We’ll talk about the pressure to be polished, the power of sharing the unfiltered truth, and why being human is one of the most strategic things you can do as a leader. 

If you’ve ever screwed something up and chose not to hide it?
That’s not a failure.
That’s leadership. 

ps. If you want to join the Friday F*ckup conversations, find me on LinkedIn! Most of the week we talk about how to be Strategically Unruly, but on Fridays, we share when it all goes wrong.

Curious what unwelcome rule is running your leadership? Take the 90 second quiz

Save the date: Kim's upcoming book, Strategic Unruliness™ , launches October 21st!!! Get on the launch list

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Episode Transcript

Kim Bolourtchi (00:00):
This is Kim Bolourtchi, and you're listening
to Get Unruly. I can't believeI'm still talking about this,
but here we go. So the othermorning I go to make coffee, the
first cup of the day, the lastbit in the pot, you know, the
one that really matters. Andinstead of grabbing the cream, I
accidentally grab liquid eggwhites. And I don't just pour in

(00:23):
a cute little splash. I am fullycommitted to putting egg whites
in my coffee. It's my first cupof the day, and unfortunately,
the last of the coffee in theentire house. I was way too
devastated for it to beappropriate. But in my defense,
I am completely addicted tocaffeine. I had zero recovery

(00:45):
plan and no backup. It was justbetrayal in a mug. So I took a
picture, wrote a quick Fridayfuck up post, told the story,
and went to Starbucks and thepost, well, it blew up over
80,000 views, 400 plus comments.
People were cracking up, taggingtheir coworkers, sharing their

(01:07):
own I wasn't awake yet. Moments,it was funny and it was real,
but also it landed harder thanalmost anything I've ever said
about leadership. And then, ofcourse, there were the other
comments, you know the ones. Isthis even a real post? So this
is what we're doing now onLinkedIn. Just don't screw up

(01:27):
your coffee next time. Yeah,that was my favorite. Thank you,
sir. That's so helpful. Just letme say this, if your instinct is
to correct or shame someone fora mistake they already owned, I
genuinely hope that's not howyou lead your team or talk to
your kids or show up in arelationship, for that matter,
because that's not leadership.

(01:48):
That's ego, and truly, we don'tneed more of that. Somewhere
along the way, we built thisweird little religion around
polished leadership, and that'swhat I really want to talk about
today, where the less human youlook, the more authority you
supposedly have, where showingup real is somehow less
professional than showing upfake. And I'm just here to say,

(02:12):
no, that rule doesn't hold. Andfrankly, it never did. Here's
what I know. I screw somethingup at least once a week, and if
we're being honest, I think mostof us do, and I run a successful
business. I advise powerhouseleaders, I speak on stages, I

(02:32):
deliver work I'm damn proud of,and I lead boldly. It's not
either or, it's both and, and Iwant to just sit here for a
second because this part getslost. We've been taught that we
have to pick between beingpowerful or being vulnerable,
being polished or being human.
We either win or we're a messup. And the second that

(02:55):
something goes sideways, wepanic. We start editing
ourselves, shrinking overcorrecting or distancing
ourselves from people who aremessy so we don't have to sit
with the discomfort of beingmessy too. I have felt the urge
to shift into impressive mode,to perform leadership instead of
practicing it. And look, I couldperform. But it never felt

(03:18):
honest. It never built actualconnection. It really just built
distance. The irony of this isthat the more I allowed space
for the full story, the mistakesand the mastery, the more
respect I got, the more impact Ihad, and the more I liked myself
in the process that egg whitemoment, it wasn't about coffee

(03:41):
and it wasn't about clarity, itwas just about being real and
choosing to share it publiclywas a strategically unruly move,
because I could have kept itquiet. I could have shared
something more expected, apolished insight, a structured
takeaway, something a littlemore LinkedIn approved, right?
But I didn't, because part ofbeing strategically unruly is

(04:05):
breaking the rule that saysthere's only one right way to
show up as a leader, and clearlythis way resonates, not instead
of a framework, but alongsideit. Because people don't just
want tools. They want truth.
They want to know that theperson behind the post is
actually living it. And that'swhat lands. And here's what we

(04:30):
need to say out loud, it worksbetter that one real moment
created more trust, more reach,more relevance than any well
packaged leadership post I'veshared and listen, I've shared a
lot, not because it was sobrilliant. I mean, it was a
freaking post about egg whitesand coffee, but because it was

(04:50):
honest. So if you've beenwaiting for permission to lead
as your full, bold, unfilteredself, this is it do. Because the
future of leadership, it doesn'tbelong to the most polished
person in the room. It belongsto the person with the courage
to be real, to break the rulesthat no longer serve them, and

(05:11):
to go first in doing itdifferently. That's who I want
in charge. Thanks for being herewith me, and listen, if you
screwed something up this week,you are not alone, you're not
off track, you're actually justdoing it real, and I'm here for
all of it. Let's keep going.
This is kimberlotchi, and you'vebeen listening to get unruly.
I'll see you next time. Ifyou're enjoying the show, give

(05:36):
us a rating on Apple and shareit with somebody who needs it.
See you soon you.