June 6, 2022 • 12 mins
According to an op ed this weekend, telling new graduates to seek "passion and purpose in their work" is the "worst advice" we can give them. In 12 minutes, I attempt to shred every part of this ridiculous argument. Listen in, and decide for yourself.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kim Bolourtchi (00:00):
This is Kim Bolourtchi and you're listening
to Boldly Stated. It's been aminute since I recorded a
podcast. And I think, in partbecause I've been feeling really
overwhelmed by the world ingeneral, there's so much going
on all the time that every timeI turn around to talk about
something, I always want to puta positive spin. And honestly,
lately, I've been having a hardtime doing that. But this
(00:23):
weekend, I read something thatreally inspired me to sit down
and talk to you because one ofthe things I do in my spare
time, which is a little bitnerdy, okay, it's a lot nerdy,
is I read op eds. I like to readopinion pieces in all kinds of
media. So I read it from theleft side, I read it from the
right side, I like to seeperspectives, even if I totally
(00:47):
disagree with them, which Ioften do. I feel like this helps
me keep an open mind when I'mforming my own opinions about
things, right. I'm not justlistening to people who I agree
with. This weekend, though, Iread one that made me so upset
and so angry, that I can't stopthinking about it. And it made
me sit down and pull up mymicrophone. So here's what it
(01:09):
was, it was actually a an op edon CNN. And this person wrote
that the worst advice you cangive to college graduates is to
do something you love. Herposition is Work is work. And
she says, to let the millennialswork themselves to death,
pursuing passion and purpose,because she doesn't see any
(01:30):
merit in it long term. So heradvice to the graduating class
is, don't worry about passion orpurpose or finding something you
love, just do something youlike, that's good enough. Her
fear apparently, is that if youfind something you really love
to do, it might become tooimportant to you, and have too
big of a role in your life. Soif you just find something you
(01:52):
like, then you can really keepyour work and your life
separate, according to thisauthor. Okay. Let's start here.
Somebody who has never lovedtheir work could easily make
this argument. I'm guessing thisperson has never actually loved
what she does. Because she wouldnever tell someone not to do
(02:12):
work they love if in fact, sheknew what that felt like. Well,
let me tell you, I do know whatit feels like to do work that
you absolutely love. And I knowwhat it feels like to do work
that you fucking hate. I alsoknow what it feels like to do
work that you kinda like. Andthere is a huge difference
between the three. So doing workyou hate is is an obvious one,
(02:34):
nobody's going to stay there,right? But doing work you kind
of like, is unfulfilling. It'swhen you wake up in the morning,
and you wonder like, what moreis there for me in this life?
And what am I really here to do?
And why am I doing this, and allthe little things that happen in
a day send you into this thoughtspiral about how much you have
(02:57):
to put up with how much you haveto give how much energy you want
to exert. You spend a lot oftime wondering what else there
is when you just like your work.
But when you love your work, youfeel as if every moment means
something, it's easier whenthings get hard. And they always
(03:19):
get hard to see the big pictureand know that you're doing
something that actually mattersto you. Hopefully, it matters to
other people also, but but whenit matters to you, and you
genuinely feel like you're doingsomething you care about deeply.
There is so much greaterfulfillment, and an increased
(03:41):
sense of pride in the work thatyou're doing. Of course, you
should want to do work that youlove. But this doesn't mean that
you're going to know what thatwork is the day you step off the
college graduation stage. Thereare so many people that are
stressed out because they don'tknow what they're passionate
about or what their purpose is.
And it's a journey, it takestime. It's not that you need to
(04:01):
know those things by the timeyou graduate or as you enter the
workforce or even after you'vebeen there for a little bit. But
if you're in the pursuit of workthat you're really going to love
and that's inspiring to you,then you're not going to settle
for work that isn't. And that'sreally the point here.
It's not to add pressure to whatis already a really pressure
(04:24):
filled time that you need toknow these things sooner. I
think it's the opposite. Youneed to just give yourself the
grace to believe that you'llfind it. But telling people not
to set their sights on work thatthey love is ridiculous. Why
would you tell somebody shootlow just to kind of make it easy
and to not run the risk that youactually could feel passionate
(04:47):
about something? Right? That'slike don't ever fall in love
because, you know, someday yourheart might get broken so just
like people a lot. Okay, you cando that. But what kind of life
do you live? I I say, take thetime to figure out what truly
interests you, you might do somethings that don't, I certainly
did. And then you pivot, and youshift and you take a step in a
(05:11):
different direction. As you movetoward the things you do
genuinely love, it's part oflearning about yourself, and
being on your journey. But forsomebody to tell you don't worry
about what you love. That's abunch of bullshit, don't worry
about feeling purposeful in yourwork. Like you might as well
just sit down and resignyourself to a lifetime of
(05:33):
burnout right now, if you arenot going to try to find work
that makes you feel like youhave a purpose and what you're
doing. As humans, that is ournumber one driver, it's not
money. It's not I know a lot ofpeople think it is, but it's
not, it's a feeling of purpose,like we're doing something that
actually is meaningful. So thatis reason number one, why this
(05:56):
advice is complete and totalcrap. The second thing is that
your life and your work are notseparate. We're not robots, we
don't turn off a button thatsays, I'm going to be in work
person now. And then I'm goingto be in life person. Now your
work is part of your life. AndI've talked about this before,
but we continue to separatethese things. And then people
(06:19):
look for balance, as if we'recapable of finding these like,
perfect symmetries between thetwo. What if instead, we were
looking for a constant state ofjust like, I'm freaking good, I
feel good in the work that I'mdoing. I feel good in my life.
I'm doing things that work thatmake me feel fulfilled, I'm
doing things in my life thatmake me feel fulfilled, it's all
(06:42):
one thing, you're all oneperson, truly, to look at your
work as separate from your lifemeans you're going to put up
with a lot of shit that youwouldn't otherwise do. Because
you feel like you owe it towhatever it is you're doing to
have the right to then go backand live your life, right?
That's the mindset, I have towork. So then I get to do these
(07:05):
things I want to do in my life.
Well, not exactly. If you'redoing work that feels
fulfilling, and you're doingwork that you really love, or
you're in pursuit of work thatyou love, even if in this
moment, you're on the path andyou don't totally love it, but
you're figuring stuff out,you're at least looking for it,
then it's it's part of you, it'spart of your life, it's not a
(07:27):
separate thing. The truth isthat doing work you really love
is energizing, doing work thatyou don't like or kinda like is
draining. And this author isworried about you being
overworked? Well, it will happenwhen you do work, you don't like
in a place that doesn't valueyou as a whole person. So we're
trying to move into a muchhigher consciousness when we
(07:50):
think about like, really whatour life is meant to be. And
this type of of suggestion thatyou should just settle for
something that's okay. Itdoesn't make any sense. It's
moving in the wrong direction,like substantially in the wrong
direction, rather than goingbackwards 100 years to the
separation of just grind itfreaking out. And then in your
(08:11):
remaining hours, however fewthey might be go ahead and live.
We did that for centuries. Itdoesn't work. It doesn't make us
happy. It doesn't make us feelgood. It doesn't make us
healthy. We need employers tostep up and look at employees as
whole people. And by the way,these graduates are going to
want to be seen and valuedbecause they're smart, and
(08:34):
they're talented, and they'reamazing. And so this advice of
just find something you likeyou're basically dooming them to
wake up every day wondering whatthey're doing. That's reason
number two, why this advice isterrible. The last thing I want
to say about this article isthis idea of working hard,
here's the truth, you're gonnawork hard no matter what you do.
(08:57):
So you might as well dosomething that really fills you
up. I love my work. I love it.
But I work hard. I always workhard. The difference is,
it doesn't feel painful. Itdoesn't feel draining, it
doesn't feel like my soul isbeing sucked out of my body when
I do my work. I really genuinelylove my work. But it doesn't
(09:19):
mean I am not putting in timeand energy and thought, but it's
going in a direction that feelsreally, really good to me.
Right. And it didn't always feelthat way. There was a time where
I was doing work that I didn'tlove and I felt every second of
that clock tick by. I felt everysecond of my time in the library
(09:39):
researching statutes or whateverthe hell I was doing. I felt
every second of my day and itdidn't feel good. I spent so
much time on the clock thinkingabout what I would rather be
doing or what else there mightbe for me and I say this because
it's in everybody's interest tohave inspired employees. Write
like, an employer is gonna getthe most out of people who
(10:03):
aren't half assing it becausethey're not liking their work.
And if you're an employee andyou're there anyway, you're
going to do much better work. Ifyou love what you're doing, then
if you really don't care aboutit, like, it's not a big stretch
to think about the reasons whyit makes sense to go for work
that you're going to love. Now,the Op Ed, our author is worried
(10:27):
that if you really love yourwork, you're going to be
consumed by it. And that's allyou're going to do. Give me a
break. Right? That is definitelynot what is facing this
generation, this generation isso much more aware than mine and
the ones previous to us aboutcarving out time about making
sure that they're doing thethings they really, really love
(10:49):
to do, in addition to hopefullywork that they love to do that I
believe they're going to be thebest balanced of all of us. And
we're going to be learning fromthem for a long time to come. So
having somebody not of thatgeneration, telling them Don't
go look for work you love.
That's, that's, you know, wasteof your time, settle for
something you like, because workyou love will consume your life
(11:13):
is is wrong. And it'sirresponsible, and frankly, it's
condescending as hell. Now I'msure that this author means
well, even though her advice istotally misguided. So I'm going
to leave a little bit differentadvice for the graduating class.
First, I do want to tell you,absolutely Pursue your passion,
absolutely pursue work that youlove, because in the end, it
(11:37):
will fill you up. And it willmake it exciting to get up in
the morning and go to work anddo something that feels
meaningful. Not every day isgoing to be good. And the path
to getting there is notnecessarily going to be fast, it
might be slow, it might take alot of turns. And it might take
a minute, but you know youbetter than anyone and you
(11:59):
certainly don't need ageneration of adults that are
navigating a lot of the worldthat's unknown to them too, to
tell you what you can and can'tdo. You are capable, you are
smart, you are resilient and youare strong and you're not afraid
of hard work. So figure outwhere your natural gifts and
talents lie. harness that as youmove through life. Figuring out
(12:22):
what inspires you where you canmake a difference where your
gifts and talents will add valueand do those things. And don't
ever let anyone tell you not togo for the things that light
your soul on fire. That is wherethe magic lives. This is Kim
Bolourtchi, and you've beenlistening to Boldly Stated
This is Kim Bolourtchi and you're listening
to Boldly Stated. It's been aminute since I recorded a
podcast. And I think, in partbecause I've been feeling really
overwhelmed by the world ingeneral, there's so much going
on all the time that every timeI turn around to talk about
something, I always want to puta positive spin. And honestly,
lately, I've been having a hardtime doing that. But this
(00:23):
weekend, I read something thatreally inspired me to sit down
and talk to you because one ofthe things I do in my spare
time, which is a little bitnerdy, okay, it's a lot nerdy,
is I read op eds. I like to readopinion pieces in all kinds of
media. So I read it from theleft side, I read it from the
right side, I like to seeperspectives, even if I totally
(00:47):
disagree with them, which Ioften do. I feel like this helps
me keep an open mind when I'mforming my own opinions about
things, right. I'm not justlistening to people who I agree
with. This weekend, though, Iread one that made me so upset
and so angry, that I can't stopthinking about it. And it made
me sit down and pull up mymicrophone. So here's what it
(01:09):
was, it was actually a an op edon CNN. And this person wrote
that the worst advice you cangive to college graduates is to
do something you love. Herposition is Work is work. And
she says, to let the millennialswork themselves to death,
pursuing passion and purpose,because she doesn't see any
(01:30):
merit in it long term. So heradvice to the graduating class
is, don't worry about passion orpurpose or finding something you
love, just do something youlike, that's good enough. Her
fear apparently, is that if youfind something you really love
to do, it might become tooimportant to you, and have too
big of a role in your life. Soif you just find something you
(01:52):
like, then you can really keepyour work and your life
separate, according to thisauthor. Okay. Let's start here.
Somebody who has never lovedtheir work could easily make
this argument. I'm guessing thisperson has never actually loved
what she does. Because she wouldnever tell someone not to do
(02:12):
work they love if in fact, sheknew what that felt like. Well,
let me tell you, I do know whatit feels like to do work that
you absolutely love. And I knowwhat it feels like to do work
that you fucking hate. I alsoknow what it feels like to do
work that you kinda like. Andthere is a huge difference
between the three. So doing workyou hate is is an obvious one,
(02:34):
nobody's going to stay there,right? But doing work you kind
of like, is unfulfilling. It'swhen you wake up in the morning,
and you wonder like, what moreis there for me in this life?
And what am I really here to do?
And why am I doing this, and allthe little things that happen in
a day send you into this thoughtspiral about how much you have
(02:57):
to put up with how much you haveto give how much energy you want
to exert. You spend a lot oftime wondering what else there
is when you just like your work.
But when you love your work, youfeel as if every moment means
something, it's easier whenthings get hard. And they always
(03:19):
get hard to see the big pictureand know that you're doing
something that actually mattersto you. Hopefully, it matters to
other people also, but but whenit matters to you, and you
genuinely feel like you're doingsomething you care about deeply.
There is so much greaterfulfillment, and an increased
(03:41):
sense of pride in the work thatyou're doing. Of course, you
should want to do work that youlove. But this doesn't mean that
you're going to know what thatwork is the day you step off the
college graduation stage. Thereare so many people that are
stressed out because they don'tknow what they're passionate
about or what their purpose is.
And it's a journey, it takestime. It's not that you need to
(04:01):
know those things by the timeyou graduate or as you enter the
workforce or even after you'vebeen there for a little bit. But
if you're in the pursuit of workthat you're really going to love
and that's inspiring to you,then you're not going to settle
for work that isn't. And that'sreally the point here.
It's not to add pressure to whatis already a really pressure
(04:24):
filled time that you need toknow these things sooner. I
think it's the opposite. Youneed to just give yourself the
grace to believe that you'llfind it. But telling people not
to set their sights on work thatthey love is ridiculous. Why
would you tell somebody shootlow just to kind of make it easy
and to not run the risk that youactually could feel passionate
(04:47):
about something? Right? That'slike don't ever fall in love
because, you know, someday yourheart might get broken so just
like people a lot. Okay, you cando that. But what kind of life
do you live? I I say, take thetime to figure out what truly
interests you, you might do somethings that don't, I certainly
did. And then you pivot, and youshift and you take a step in a
(05:11):
different direction. As you movetoward the things you do
genuinely love, it's part oflearning about yourself, and
being on your journey. But forsomebody to tell you don't worry
about what you love. That's abunch of bullshit, don't worry
about feeling purposeful in yourwork. Like you might as well
just sit down and resignyourself to a lifetime of
(05:33):
burnout right now, if you arenot going to try to find work
that makes you feel like youhave a purpose and what you're
doing. As humans, that is ournumber one driver, it's not
money. It's not I know a lot ofpeople think it is, but it's
not, it's a feeling of purpose,like we're doing something that
actually is meaningful. So thatis reason number one, why this
(05:56):
advice is complete and totalcrap. The second thing is that
your life and your work are notseparate. We're not robots, we
don't turn off a button thatsays, I'm going to be in work
person now. And then I'm goingto be in life person. Now your
work is part of your life. AndI've talked about this before,
but we continue to separatethese things. And then people
(06:19):
look for balance, as if we'recapable of finding these like,
perfect symmetries between thetwo. What if instead, we were
looking for a constant state ofjust like, I'm freaking good, I
feel good in the work that I'mdoing. I feel good in my life.
I'm doing things that work thatmake me feel fulfilled, I'm
doing things in my life thatmake me feel fulfilled, it's all
(06:42):
one thing, you're all oneperson, truly, to look at your
work as separate from your lifemeans you're going to put up
with a lot of shit that youwouldn't otherwise do. Because
you feel like you owe it towhatever it is you're doing to
have the right to then go backand live your life, right?
That's the mindset, I have towork. So then I get to do these
(07:05):
things I want to do in my life.
Well, not exactly. If you'redoing work that feels
fulfilling, and you're doingwork that you really love, or
you're in pursuit of work thatyou love, even if in this
moment, you're on the path andyou don't totally love it, but
you're figuring stuff out,you're at least looking for it,
then it's it's part of you, it'spart of your life, it's not a
(07:27):
separate thing. The truth isthat doing work you really love
is energizing, doing work thatyou don't like or kinda like is
draining. And this author isworried about you being
overworked? Well, it will happenwhen you do work, you don't like
in a place that doesn't valueyou as a whole person. So we're
trying to move into a muchhigher consciousness when we
(07:50):
think about like, really whatour life is meant to be. And
this type of of suggestion thatyou should just settle for
something that's okay. Itdoesn't make any sense. It's
moving in the wrong direction,like substantially in the wrong
direction, rather than goingbackwards 100 years to the
separation of just grind itfreaking out. And then in your
(08:11):
remaining hours, however fewthey might be go ahead and live.
We did that for centuries. Itdoesn't work. It doesn't make us
happy. It doesn't make us feelgood. It doesn't make us
healthy. We need employers tostep up and look at employees as
whole people. And by the way,these graduates are going to
want to be seen and valuedbecause they're smart, and
(08:34):
they're talented, and they'reamazing. And so this advice of
just find something you likeyou're basically dooming them to
wake up every day wondering whatthey're doing. That's reason
number two, why this advice isterrible. The last thing I want
to say about this article isthis idea of working hard,
here's the truth, you're gonnawork hard no matter what you do.
(08:57):
So you might as well dosomething that really fills you
up. I love my work. I love it.
But I work hard. I always workhard. The difference is,
it doesn't feel painful. Itdoesn't feel draining, it
doesn't feel like my soul isbeing sucked out of my body when
I do my work. I really genuinelylove my work. But it doesn't
(09:19):
mean I am not putting in timeand energy and thought, but it's
going in a direction that feelsreally, really good to me.
Right. And it didn't always feelthat way. There was a time where
I was doing work that I didn'tlove and I felt every second of
that clock tick by. I felt everysecond of my time in the library
(09:39):
researching statutes or whateverthe hell I was doing. I felt
every second of my day and itdidn't feel good. I spent so
much time on the clock thinkingabout what I would rather be
doing or what else there mightbe for me and I say this because
it's in everybody's interest tohave inspired employees. Write
like, an employer is gonna getthe most out of people who
(10:03):
aren't half assing it becausethey're not liking their work.
And if you're an employee andyou're there anyway, you're
going to do much better work. Ifyou love what you're doing, then
if you really don't care aboutit, like, it's not a big stretch
to think about the reasons whyit makes sense to go for work
that you're going to love. Now,the Op Ed, our author is worried
(10:27):
that if you really love yourwork, you're going to be
consumed by it. And that's allyou're going to do. Give me a
break. Right? That is definitelynot what is facing this
generation, this generation isso much more aware than mine and
the ones previous to us aboutcarving out time about making
sure that they're doing thethings they really, really love
(10:49):
to do, in addition to hopefullywork that they love to do that I
believe they're going to be thebest balanced of all of us. And
we're going to be learning fromthem for a long time to come. So
having somebody not of thatgeneration, telling them Don't
go look for work you love.
That's, that's, you know, wasteof your time, settle for
something you like, because workyou love will consume your life
(11:13):
is is wrong. And it'sirresponsible, and frankly, it's
condescending as hell. Now I'msure that this author means
well, even though her advice istotally misguided. So I'm going
to leave a little bit differentadvice for the graduating class.
First, I do want to tell you,absolutely Pursue your passion,
absolutely pursue work that youlove, because in the end, it
(11:37):
will fill you up. And it willmake it exciting to get up in
the morning and go to work anddo something that feels
meaningful. Not every day isgoing to be good. And the path
to getting there is notnecessarily going to be fast, it
might be slow, it might take alot of turns. And it might take
a minute, but you know youbetter than anyone and you
(11:59):
certainly don't need ageneration of adults that are
navigating a lot of the worldthat's unknown to them too, to
tell you what you can and can'tdo. You are capable, you are
smart, you are resilient and youare strong and you're not afraid
of hard work. So figure outwhere your natural gifts and
talents lie. harness that as youmove through life. Figuring out
(12:22):
what inspires you where you canmake a difference where your
gifts and talents will add valueand do those things. And don't
ever let anyone tell you not togo for the things that light
your soul on fire. That is wherethe magic lives. This is Kim
Bolourtchi, and you've beenlistening to Boldly Stated
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