November 18, 2025 • 7 mins
This time of year, the pressure to be grateful is everywhere.
But what if gratitude is being used to keep you small?
In this episode, Kim Bolourtchi breaks open the false choice so many high-achievers are stuck in — that you can either be thankful for what you have or reach for something more.
You’ll hear real stories of clients who stopped performing gratitude and started building their next level using one simple shift: “and.”
This isn’t about being ungrateful.
It’s about being honest.
You don’t have to leap without a net.
But you do have to move.
And this episode will show you how.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kim Bolourtchi (00:00):
This is Kim Bolourtchi, and you're listening
to get unruly before we get intoday's episode, I want to name
something I know you're probablyfeeling, even if you haven't
said it out loud yet. As theholidays get closer, there's
this shift. It's subtle. Atfirst, the calendar flips. The
invites start coming in, thedecorations show up, some of
(00:22):
them very early, and suddenlywe're not just living our lives
anymore. We start evaluatingthem. We start asking questions
like, did I do enough this year?
Did I grow? Did I change? Did Ifollow through? And the big 1am,
I where I thought I'd be by now?
And right underneath thosequestions is the one we rarely
(00:44):
say out loud, is it okay to wantmore? Because this time of year
comes with two competingpressures. On one hand,
gratitude, be thankful, becontent, appreciate what you
have, and on the other hand,vision, dream bigger, set goals,
imagine the next version of yourlife. And for a lot of people,
(01:07):
those two things feel likeopposites, like you have to pick
one. Either you're grateful oryou want more, either you're
proud of your life or you're notsatisfied. Either you stay where
you are and appreciate it, oryou risk it and reach for
something else. And if you'vebeen feeling that tension, that
(01:28):
push, pull, just breathe for asecond, because nothing is wrong
with you. This is not confusion,it's expansion. And today we're
going to talk about why youdon't have to choose, not today,
not in December and not in thenew year. You can be grateful
and want more. You can love whatyou've built and evolve beyond
(01:50):
it. You can be proud of who youare and feel something waking up
inside of you, asking, what'snext. So let's go there. The
reason we feel that we have tochoose is because we are taught
early and often that we do.
We're told there's one path tosuccess. We're warned that we
need to make the right choice,and we're reminded of all the
(02:10):
terrible things that happen ifwe choose wrong, failure,
embarrassment, total disaster.
It's this or that, security orfreedom, respect or
authenticity. So of course, welook at our options that way,
but it's a false dichotomy. Wedon't always have to choose
(02:32):
between this or that. Sometimesthe most strategic thing you can
do is use the power of and andgives you more flexibility, more
space, more time, more truth.
Let me show you what I mean. Ihad a client who built strip
malls, super, super successful,really lucrative, but one day,
(02:52):
almost like a whisper, headmitted to me what he really
wanted was to develop high endluxury retail. He barely said it
out loud, and when I asked more,he backed off immediately. No
way not doing it. That's not us.
The market wouldn't get it. Myteam would think, I've lost it.
(03:14):
We're way too far down thisroad. Because in his mind, it
was all or nothing, pivot andrisk it all, or stay the course
and continue doing the thingthat had made him super, super
successful. So I convinced himto run a simple experiment,
start a separate division, testthe waters, pitch a few luxury
concepts, just to see what wouldhappen, but do it in a way
(03:36):
that's super, super authentic toyou now you know what happened,
right? Clients jumped at thechance to work with them in this
new way. His team, particularlythose who shared his passion for
luxury projects, got reallyfired up. That new division
became their fastest growing,most exciting venture. He didn't
(03:59):
have to give up what he built tosee whether this was going to be
a thing that was going to work.
He just had to stop thinking heneeded to choose now,
ultimately, because this was thedirection he really wanted his
company to go. He did make thechoice to wind down the strip
mall piece in favor of this newluxury arm, but he didn't have
(04:20):
to until he was sure what hereally, really wanted to do. And
this is the benefit of and youdon't have to make a binary
choice when you're trying tofigure out what you really,
really want to do. Anotherclient wanted to leave her
secure corporate job and startthe business she'd been dreaming
(04:40):
about for years, but she heldthe health insurance. She made
most of her family's income, andit felt impossible. She kept
saying, I can't give this up.
Everybody depends on me. Andagain, it was this idea of, it's
this I stay with my job that. Issoul sucking, and I don't love
(05:02):
or I just one day leave and gotry to build the business. She
didn't need to do that, not yet.
So instead of treating it likeall or nothing, she started
building her business as anaunt, she kept the job, created
small blocks of time to buildher thing, testing, refining,
learning, and eventually thatbusiness became profitable. Once
(05:22):
it became profitable, she sawshe had options. She's not stuck
anymore, because she stoppedforcing a leap and started
building her runway using thepower of ant. Now, eventually,
clarity will demand bold,decisive moves. My point isn't
to stay in a, you know, a placewhere you're trying to be all
(05:45):
things to all people, not atall. And is most powerful when
you are not there yet. If you'restuck because it feels like one
wrong move could breakeverything, then your liberation
might not come from justleaping. It it might come from
playing with the idea of andclarity doesn't just show up. It
(06:05):
comes when you move, not whenit's perfect, not when it's
safe, but when you start to act.
So if you're staring down afalse choice right now between
what's safe and what's real,what you've built and what you
want, I want you to trysomething different. Don't
choose between two things.
Experiment. Choose and keep thejob and test the idea. Lead the
(06:28):
team and challenge the system.
Love what you have and reach formore. So no, you don't have to
leap without a net today, butyou do have to move. Pick one
thing, try one shift, make onedecision that says I am not
stuck in or I'm choosing andbecause I'm telling you friends,
(06:51):
this is where momentum starts.
This is where the truth getslouder, and that's where
clarity, the real kind, startsto show up. This is Kim
bolourchi, and you've beenlistening to get unruly. If this
resonates, if you havequestions, if you have thoughts,
I would love to hear from you.
My contact information is in theshow notes. Until next time,
(07:12):
stay unruly.
This is Kim Bolourtchi, and you're listening
to get unruly before we get intoday's episode, I want to name
something I know you're probablyfeeling, even if you haven't
said it out loud yet. As theholidays get closer, there's
this shift. It's subtle. Atfirst, the calendar flips. The
invites start coming in, thedecorations show up, some of
(00:22):
them very early, and suddenlywe're not just living our lives
anymore. We start evaluatingthem. We start asking questions
like, did I do enough this year?
Did I grow? Did I change? Did Ifollow through? And the big 1am,
I where I thought I'd be by now?
And right underneath thosequestions is the one we rarely
(00:44):
say out loud, is it okay to wantmore? Because this time of year
comes with two competingpressures. On one hand,
gratitude, be thankful, becontent, appreciate what you
have, and on the other hand,vision, dream bigger, set goals,
imagine the next version of yourlife. And for a lot of people,
(01:07):
those two things feel likeopposites, like you have to pick
one. Either you're grateful oryou want more, either you're
proud of your life or you're notsatisfied. Either you stay where
you are and appreciate it, oryou risk it and reach for
something else. And if you'vebeen feeling that tension, that
(01:28):
push, pull, just breathe for asecond, because nothing is wrong
with you. This is not confusion,it's expansion. And today we're
going to talk about why youdon't have to choose, not today,
not in December and not in thenew year. You can be grateful
and want more. You can love whatyou've built and evolve beyond
(01:50):
it. You can be proud of who youare and feel something waking up
inside of you, asking, what'snext. So let's go there. The
reason we feel that we have tochoose is because we are taught
early and often that we do.
We're told there's one path tosuccess. We're warned that we
need to make the right choice,and we're reminded of all the
(02:10):
terrible things that happen ifwe choose wrong, failure,
embarrassment, total disaster.
It's this or that, security orfreedom, respect or
authenticity. So of course, welook at our options that way,
but it's a false dichotomy. Wedon't always have to choose
(02:32):
between this or that. Sometimesthe most strategic thing you can
do is use the power of and andgives you more flexibility, more
space, more time, more truth.
Let me show you what I mean. Ihad a client who built strip
malls, super, super successful,really lucrative, but one day,
(02:52):
almost like a whisper, headmitted to me what he really
wanted was to develop high endluxury retail. He barely said it
out loud, and when I asked more,he backed off immediately. No
way not doing it. That's not us.
The market wouldn't get it. Myteam would think, I've lost it.
(03:14):
We're way too far down thisroad. Because in his mind, it
was all or nothing, pivot andrisk it all, or stay the course
and continue doing the thingthat had made him super, super
successful. So I convinced himto run a simple experiment,
start a separate division, testthe waters, pitch a few luxury
concepts, just to see what wouldhappen, but do it in a way
(03:36):
that's super, super authentic toyou now you know what happened,
right? Clients jumped at thechance to work with them in this
new way. His team, particularlythose who shared his passion for
luxury projects, got reallyfired up. That new division
became their fastest growing,most exciting venture. He didn't
(03:59):
have to give up what he built tosee whether this was going to be
a thing that was going to work.
He just had to stop thinking heneeded to choose now,
ultimately, because this was thedirection he really wanted his
company to go. He did make thechoice to wind down the strip
mall piece in favor of this newluxury arm, but he didn't have
(04:20):
to until he was sure what hereally, really wanted to do. And
this is the benefit of and youdon't have to make a binary
choice when you're trying tofigure out what you really,
really want to do. Anotherclient wanted to leave her
secure corporate job and startthe business she'd been dreaming
(04:40):
about for years, but she heldthe health insurance. She made
most of her family's income, andit felt impossible. She kept
saying, I can't give this up.
Everybody depends on me. Andagain, it was this idea of, it's
this I stay with my job that. Issoul sucking, and I don't love
(05:02):
or I just one day leave and gotry to build the business. She
didn't need to do that, not yet.
So instead of treating it likeall or nothing, she started
building her business as anaunt, she kept the job, created
small blocks of time to buildher thing, testing, refining,
learning, and eventually thatbusiness became profitable. Once
(05:22):
it became profitable, she sawshe had options. She's not stuck
anymore, because she stoppedforcing a leap and started
building her runway using thepower of ant. Now, eventually,
clarity will demand bold,decisive moves. My point isn't
to stay in a, you know, a placewhere you're trying to be all
(05:45):
things to all people, not atall. And is most powerful when
you are not there yet. If you'restuck because it feels like one
wrong move could breakeverything, then your liberation
might not come from justleaping. It it might come from
playing with the idea of andclarity doesn't just show up. It
(06:05):
comes when you move, not whenit's perfect, not when it's
safe, but when you start to act.
So if you're staring down afalse choice right now between
what's safe and what's real,what you've built and what you
want, I want you to trysomething different. Don't
choose between two things.
Experiment. Choose and keep thejob and test the idea. Lead the
(06:28):
team and challenge the system.
Love what you have and reach formore. So no, you don't have to
leap without a net today, butyou do have to move. Pick one
thing, try one shift, make onedecision that says I am not
stuck in or I'm choosing andbecause I'm telling you friends,
(06:51):
this is where momentum starts.
This is where the truth getslouder, and that's where
clarity, the real kind, startsto show up. This is Kim
bolourchi, and you've beenlistening to get unruly. If this
resonates, if you havequestions, if you have thoughts,
I would love to hear from you.
My contact information is in theshow notes. Until next time,
(07:12):
stay unruly.
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