April 28, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode, Janice Burt shares her inspiring journey from being a rule-following people pleaser to becoming strategically unruly.
She discusses the courage it took to break free from the prison of fear, including publishing a memoir that revealed family secrets, to competing in a body building competition, to running a marathon. Janice offers powerful insights on overcoming limiting beliefs, the freedom in self-acceptance, and the ongoing process of personal growth.
This conversation is a must-listen for anyone seeking to live more authentically and confront their own fears.
Connect with Janice:
janice@janiceburt.com
https://onefearperyear.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kim Bolourtchi (00:00):
Janice, I am so excited that you are here with
(00:02):
me today. I love this. I am soexcited right now. Thank you for
having me. So we're going totalk about getting unruly. And
you know, when I talk about thisidea of of breaking the rules, a
lot of people get really nervousbecause they think I'm talking
about rebellion, which, youknow, we all have that at some
point in our lives, and there'snothing bad about it, but what
(00:24):
I'm really thinking about inthis conversation are places
where we've done it on purpose.
And I know that part of yourlife's work has been to walk
through fear on purpose, andyou've done some things that
are, you know, they're hard andchallenging, and things that are
scary for people to do, and so Iguess my first question for you
is, when you think about thisidea of being strategically
(00:46):
unruly, do you consider yourselfto be more of a rule follower or
a rule challenger?
Janice Burt (00:56):
Ooh, well, the little Janice me, the one that
was longing for validation andapproval and acceptance and love
me is very much a rule follower,and that's how I grew up. I was
a very good student, you know,got great grades in school. I
(01:18):
did not rock the boat. I waslike, What do you want me to be?
What do you want me to be? Hencemy my people pleaser, the people
pleaser in me. And so that's howI lived for a very long time.
And then I became strategicallyunruly, which I love. I love
that because it was a choice tobreak out of. For me, it was a
(01:46):
prison of fear. So I had builtmy life around pleasing other
people, getting theirvalidation, and that was all
based in fear. And so the minuteI realized, like Janice, almost
every decision that you'remaking in life, it's rooted in
fear, like that's where it'scoming from. I decided that I
(02:10):
was gonna, once every year, doat least one thing that really
pulled me out of my comfort zoneand was strategically unruly.
For instance, one of them was Iself published a memoir. And
there were kind of some familysecrets and things that were
(02:31):
just very hush hush, and I hadto do with my dad and and I just
felt like, you know, I feel likeI'm covering this big secret.
And it made me feel responsibleand just not good. So I decided
I'm going to self publish amemoir and talk about it and
kind of put it out there intothe universe. And so that was
(02:53):
very strategically and reallybecause I knew that I could lose
relationships like some peoplecould be very upset that I'm
putting this out there. Sothat's one example.
Kim Bolourtchi (03:06):
I love that example. And first I have to
tell you little Janice andLittle Kim would have been best
friends. Little Kim was reallyrule following too. And I think,
I think a lot of us are in thatthat's how we gain love and
acceptance and and all of thethings that we're told are the
things we're supposed to want,right? Like human belonging will
(03:27):
die to belong. There's there'sevidence and studies that will
literally die to belong and andfamily loyalty is one of those
huge, huge things. So the factthat you selected that as your
example is amazing, because,like, one of the big rules is,
you know, family stuff stays inthe family. We protect our
family. We protect our familysecrets. We protect our family's
(03:48):
dirty laundry. We do not sharethat. And so I think it's
incredibly brave that you, youknow, were willing to publish a
memoir. And also that is reallyunruly, because even as you're
saying it, I was like, Oh mygosh, I'm thinking about things
in my family that you know, Iwould love to talk about, but as
(04:09):
soon as I think about it, likemy stomach hurts, right? Because
I know what that would do to thefamily dynamic. And I know there
are people listening who arethinking that same thing, like,
oh my gosh, I could not do that.
I don't have the courage. Sowhat? What gave you the courage
to break that particular rule?
Janice Burt (04:27):
I had just come to the place of I did a
hypnotherapy session, and she'sguiding me down into my safe
place, right? She's like, Okay,you're going to walk down these
stairs and you're going to openthe door and you're going to go
into your safe place. So I waslike, Okay, this sounds
(04:48):
wonderful. So I'm walking downthe stairs, you know, this is
all a mental exercise, justvisualization. And I get she's
like, Okay, now open the doorinto your safe place and. I open
the door and it's just pitchblack. It's incredibly dark.
There's nothing inviting orcalming about my safe place. And
(05:14):
that was the moment I had thisrealization, and I just felt
fear. So that was the momentwhere I was like, Oh my gosh, I
am full of fear. I don't evenhave a safe place inside of
myself to go. When I had thatrealization, I I was like, Okay,
I need to create a safe place. Ineed to create something
(05:37):
different within me. And so itbecame very much a personal
growth journey. And there wasnothing in my mind that was
worse at that point thancontinuing on this path of just
total fear and wanting to geteverybody's approval and
(06:00):
validation at the expense of whoI am as as a person and how I
really want to show up in life.
So I just made a veryintentional choice that I am
going to do things that aregoing to feel terrifying. So,
Kim Bolourtchi (06:21):
you know, the way I define rules are the
limiting beliefs that we youknow, that we have, or the
messages, the processes, thethings we get told are like,
these are the things you can dothat you can't do, that you
should do. This is the way ithas to be. What do you think
when you think back to sort ofgrowing up and what shaped you
(06:42):
the most? What do you think arethe most limiting rules that
sort of put put the inhibitorsaround you being your biggest
self?
Janice Burt (06:55):
I would say it's all about how others perceive
you like as an empath, I wouldintuitively kind of know about
people, and so it was always forme, like, how do I make that
(07:17):
person the most comfortable? Andhow do I make them like me? And
how do I make them not think I'mweird and ruly, you know, doing
things coloring outside thelines. How do I just keep the
(07:38):
peace with everybody andeverything. So for me, that's a
lot of what it was. So I was amissionary kid, and lived in
Mexico City for five years. Domy parents were doing mission
work, and so it was very muchjust about, you know, you have
(08:00):
to fit what people expect amissionary kid to be. A really
good example of this is the bodybuilding competition I did at 42
years old. I decided I'm goingto compete in a bodybuilding
competition. And coming from,you know, a very a Christian
(08:24):
upbringing where we're verymodest, and you know why you
showing off your body, and whodo you think you are, and all of
these limiting beliefs, likethese thoughts of, oh, Janice is
not a bodybuilder who's going tostand on a stage in a sequence
(08:45):
bikini. But I knew why I wasdoing it, and I knew the fear
that held me back from from evencontemplating doing that at one
point. So, so that was anexample of just, I know that
(09:06):
this is going to grow me as ahuman being, and that's all I
care about. I care about walkingthrough this fear right now, and
I'll deal with, you know,talking to my mom about it
later. And whatever, whateverpeople are gonna think of me is
just gonna have to be what itis, and I am not responsible for
(09:29):
how other people view me. I amresponsible for living my best,
most authentic, most free andpowerful and purposeful life.
Kim Bolourtchi (09:42):
Yes, I love that. And I was, I just kept
thinking of the word freedomwhile you were talking, because
there's so much freedom ingiving up the responsibility of
trying to be what other peoplewant you to be, right? And so,
so talk to us about what it islike to be. Two on the other
side of you know, this sort ofconfining identity of trying to
(10:07):
be the person that you wereexpected to be to now, walking
through a different fear everyyear and continually evolving
into your biggest self. Like,what's it like over here,
Janice Burt (10:21):
it's beautiful, it's amazing, it's it's a
journey. So I don't want to makeit sound like I don't have fears
anymore, or all of a sudden. Youknow, I feel free all the time,
(10:42):
because there are those momentswhere I'll lay awake at night
like, what am I doing? What haveI gotten myself into? You know,
and the voices and theruminating. But then all of a
sudden, I go, Wait a minute.
You're ruminating. You'reattaching to fear. Again, you're
and I start to identify thepatterns, and then I'm able to
(11:07):
choose something else, anotherempowering thought. I'm able to
connect with someone like youand mutually encourage each
other to keep going. So I willsay it gets easier. And there
are moments where I feel likeI'm just floating like cloud
(11:32):
nine. It's it's this beautiful,free, peaceful place. And then
there are times where I feelmyself kind of going back into
the fear and the negativethoughts, and I have to remind
myself and go back, you know,maybe on my yoga mat, and sit in
(11:55):
stillness and take that time toreally connect to my center, to
connect to the Divine, to reallyremember, like, what this is all
about. And a lot of times, if Isee someone really struggling,
(12:21):
or I hear of a suicide orsomething like that, like those
kind of things, just pull meright back and I go, you know,
life and why we're heresometimes is so much bigger than
our day to day. Kind of, youknow what we get caught up in,
(12:44):
what people think and what it'slike when life and death are on
the line, I immediately justkind of recenter and go, Okay,
Janice, why are you here tobegin with, like, it's deeper,
it's bigger than you, and tapinto that.
Kim Bolourtchi (13:10):
Thank you. Like, I love your honesty around that
and vulnerability, because thething is, like, we're never
done, and no matter how manytimes we conquer our fear or we
break the rules, like it'salways a work in progress. And I
think I'm so grateful to you forfor sharing that the way that
(13:33):
you just did. It was sobeautiful and and so heartfelt,
and I feel it so much because Iknow you know, I'm, like,
innately, a shit disturber, andI'm I do really live what I
teach I do. And I have momentswhere I find myself in the cycle
of, tell me what I have to do,show me what I have to do. What
(13:54):
are the rules like? I literallywill find myself back in there
and I have to say, Hold on asecond. What are you doing,
right? And this is oldconditioning, and we need to
stop and do your own process topull yourself out of it. And I
think there are a lot of peopleout in the world, and this is
one of the things. You know,social media has good things and
bad things. One of the things Ithink people see sometimes is
only the I conquered my this,and I have achieved this, and
(14:18):
I've gotten to the top of themountain, and it's so amazing
here. And the reality is that Ithink, if we're all being
honest, the human experience isalways one in progress. And no
matter who the heck you are andhow amazing you are, and I
believe everyone is freakingamazing, because we're all
unique and we have gifts andtalents, we are always a work in
(14:39):
progress, and the things that westruggle with, we're always
going to have to come back towith humility at some point and
continue working through thosethings right, like at a higher
and higher level, if we stayCognizant to what's what's
tripping us up. But we're notdone. And so I love that you've
shared that, and I really, I'mso glad people can hear that.
(15:00):
Because I think sometimes peoplethink like, Oh, I did the thing
I'm done. And it's like, yeah,no, it takes a lot of diligence
and commitment to continue doingthe things absolutely, of all
the rules you've ever broken,what is the one that you feel
like was the flipping, you know,your middle finger at somebody
(15:21):
where you were like, Oh, I lovedbeing able to break this rule.
This was so fun for me. I don'twant to presume you do, but I'm
just curious. Do you have onewhere you were like, Oh, that
felt so good to break.
Janice Burt (15:35):
Oh, my gosh, that's funny. That's a funny question.
Well, I don't know that I everfelt like flipping the middle
finger at someone.
Kim Bolourtchi (15:48):
You're way too nice.
Janice Burt (15:52):
But, um, but I will say the there was a marathon
that I did, and then the bodybuilding, and the both of those
were physical. And I don't liketo use, like, just the physical
examples, because some of thefears I've walked through have
(16:12):
nothing to you know, it was likelearning how to meditate, which
I think is equally as, like,ginormous and important as
running a marathon, but, butthere's something about the
consistency and endurance andjust discipline and willpower,
(16:39):
and maybe It was more likeflipping the middle finger to
myself in a sense of like youcan do so much more than you
give yourself credit for andthat you think you can do. So I
would say both of those werereally, what's the word like
(17:03):
profound in the sense that onceI accomplished them, I felt so
much respect for myself, knowingthe fear and everything that was
attached to them, and thenactually walking through and
doing it with that amount offear on the other side of the
(17:24):
hardest things are, is where wejust go, oh, the light bulb goes
off, you know? And so those arethe moments that I most
appreciate, and am, like, proudof myself like that, kicked ass,
you know, because for amarathon, when you have to wake
(17:47):
up on Saturdays at six in themorning to join your training
group, to go running, and you doit week after week after week
like those are the things wherecharacter is built and where I
go. Man, I knew how much Iwanted to sleep in. I knew how
badly I didn't want to go tothat run, and I freaking did it.
(18:07):
And that just feels good.
Kim Bolourtchi (18:10):
I love that. I love that I cannot imagine
running a marathon. Kudos toyou. It sounds horrible.
Janice Burt (18:19):
Yes, there, and there were moments of it was
horrible, and that's what madeit so freaking sweet when, when
you actually accomplish it,yeah, because it was so
horrible. And there, there issomething about these feats, you
know, that that people do.
That's why the climbing of theMount Everest and the like, the
(18:41):
different things I see, why thatthat's so appealing to some
people, because the sense thatyou get on the other side is
really remarkable,
Kim Bolourtchi (18:56):
yeah, because the messages right that we we
tell ourselves, and some Peopleeven get it from their families,
is, oh, you could never do that.
That's not for you, that's forsomebody else. That's for a
supreme athlete, right? That's,that's like, that's not
something I can do. So when youactually can do it, it's
incredible.
Janice Burt (19:16):
And you know what, Kim, oh my gosh. So I'm running
the marathon, and and I think Iwas like, mile 15 or something,
and I'm just feeling all theways that you feel when you're
running. And I look over andthere is a blind man. Oh, my
God, it's still to this day.
Makes me cry because he has his,you know, his stick, and he has
(19:39):
two guides, one on each side ofhim, and he's running this
marathon. And I just rememberlooking over and going, what has
been my excuse? Like, what hasbeen my excuse, you know? And so
I'm running, I'm crying. Dying,and it was just this moment of
(20:00):
going, it's a choice. It's achoice. And if you're determined
enough, and you gather peoplearound you that are part of that
same tribe that want the samething, and you go for it
together, like it's all thethings are achievable.
Kim Bolourtchi (20:22):
I love that.
That's so inspiring, soincredible. Do you have advice
for people who are facinglimiting rules? What would you
tell them? Oh,
Janice Burt (20:37):
I would just say, I understand. I understand the
feeling of wanting to fit in atall costs. I understand, you
know, the the fear of beingrejected or being criticized
like I I understand all of that.
And I also know very much thatit is a prison that if you
(21:03):
continue in that prison, you'lllook back someday on your
deathbed and you will haveregrets, and you will have
wanted to not care so much aabout what anybody else thought
about you, and you'll you'llhave wanted to, like, grab these
(21:29):
opportunities that you were tooscared to take, and it's Just
going to be sad. And so my bestadvice is to take a moment to
really sit in stillness, toconnect to who you truly are,
(21:50):
because who you truly areunderneath the fear and the
doubts and the limiting beliefsand what other people told you
is you are just full of love,peace, compassion, purpose, and
(22:12):
so it's really Just aremembering. So I would take
some time sit in that space ofjust being able to center
yourself and and remember whoyou are, and then make decisions
(22:33):
accordingly. And they can besmall. It could be, you know, a
connection with somebody thatyou really feel like, okay, they
they get that, they see that,that part of me, it could be
reading some good books. There'stons of things on YouTube,
joining teams and groups like,we are meant to be in community.
(22:56):
We're meant for that. It's justfinding the right one that's in
alignment with all of thatbeauty that's within you, not
that's fear based, that'svictim, you know, mentality
focused, something that isempowering, that gives you your
(23:20):
power back.
Kim Bolourtchi (23:25):
I love that so many great suggestions. And what
I really, really love is thatyou know, you your encouragement
to start within. I think is, issuch an important takeaway,
because there's so many peoplewho are looking outside of
themselves, they're looking outinto the world for the answer.
Tell me how I'm going to beokay. Tell me what I have to do
(23:49):
right, to find this piece, or tofind this connection, or to find
this this way of being. And thereality is that we already know,
and it's all already within andwho you're supposed to be is
already here, like we alreadyhave the answers. It's so much
more simple than we've ever beentold. But having the courage to
(24:10):
pay attention to what that is,who that is, if it's different
than what has been expected, isthe real challenge. But your
journey is is such livingevidence that it's so worth it,
and I so appreciate you sharingit with me and my listeners and
then also on your podcast. Youknow, sharing it with more of
(24:34):
the world, because I thinkyou're right. You know, when
we're really honest and we tellthe truth about our struggles
and what we're challenged by,people realize they're not
alone. And, you know, they stopfeeling like, Oh, it's just me.
They go like, Oh, actually,it's, it's a lot of us. It's
just that most people don't wantto tell the truth about it.
Janice Burt (24:53):
Yeah, it's hard to sit in pain. Yeah, you know. And
that's. Yes, that's what Iavoided for many, many years,
like I felt like I would drownin it. And it's so
counterintuitive, but the morewe are able to look at our pain,
(25:18):
to sit with our pain, to give ita name, to really just notice
and be present with it, we canstart to heal those parts within
us that are wounded, and most ofus have a wounded inner child
within us, something thathappened when we were kids, when
(25:40):
we were a teenager, and we sweptit under the carpet, and we
just, you know, didn't want todeal because it was so traumatic
or so painful. But we're then asadults, still living from that
place of a wounded child. And sothe best thing I ever did was to
sit with that pain and to reallylook at that inner, Wounded
(26:03):
Little Janice and go, I loveyou. I'm not ashamed of you like
I love you. And as soon as Istarted healing that insecure,
sad little girl within me, thenthings actually started changing
as as an adult, the adultversion of me,
Kim Bolourtchi (26:24):
so powerful, so powerful
Janice Burt (26:28):
every day, a little more, a little little something,
something
Kim Bolourtchi (26:32):
exactly. Well, this has been amazing. I cannot
thank you enough for the time,and I'm so excited for everyone
to hear this conversation. Itwas wonderful. You are
wonderful. Do you want to telleveryone where they can find
your podcast? Oh,
Janice Burt (26:46):
well, you are wonderful. I've enjoyed just
these conversations with you andgetting to know you so much
more. My podcast is one fear peryear. So I have a one fear per
year.com website where you cango and you can watch the videos
or listen to it on Spotify, andyeah, I'm also at Janice
(27:09):
burt.com
Kim Bolourtchi (27:11):
amazing. I highly recommend checking it
out.
Janice, I am so excited that you are here with
(00:02):
me today. I love this. I am soexcited right now. Thank you for
having me. So we're going totalk about getting unruly. And
you know, when I talk about thisidea of of breaking the rules, a
lot of people get really nervousbecause they think I'm talking
about rebellion, which, youknow, we all have that at some
point in our lives, and there'snothing bad about it, but what
(00:24):
I'm really thinking about inthis conversation are places
where we've done it on purpose.
And I know that part of yourlife's work has been to walk
through fear on purpose, andyou've done some things that
are, you know, they're hard andchallenging, and things that are
scary for people to do, and so Iguess my first question for you
is, when you think about thisidea of being strategically
(00:46):
unruly, do you consider yourselfto be more of a rule follower or
a rule challenger?
Janice Burt (00:56):
Ooh, well, the little Janice me, the one that
was longing for validation andapproval and acceptance and love
me is very much a rule follower,and that's how I grew up. I was
a very good student, you know,got great grades in school. I
(01:18):
did not rock the boat. I waslike, What do you want me to be?
What do you want me to be? Hencemy my people pleaser, the people
pleaser in me. And so that's howI lived for a very long time.
And then I became strategicallyunruly, which I love. I love
that because it was a choice tobreak out of. For me, it was a
(01:46):
prison of fear. So I had builtmy life around pleasing other
people, getting theirvalidation, and that was all
based in fear. And so the minuteI realized, like Janice, almost
every decision that you'remaking in life, it's rooted in
fear, like that's where it'scoming from. I decided that I
(02:10):
was gonna, once every year, doat least one thing that really
pulled me out of my comfort zoneand was strategically unruly.
For instance, one of them was Iself published a memoir. And
there were kind of some familysecrets and things that were
(02:31):
just very hush hush, and I hadto do with my dad and and I just
felt like, you know, I feel likeI'm covering this big secret.
And it made me feel responsibleand just not good. So I decided
I'm going to self publish amemoir and talk about it and
kind of put it out there intothe universe. And so that was
(02:53):
very strategically and reallybecause I knew that I could lose
relationships like some peoplecould be very upset that I'm
putting this out there. Sothat's one example.
Kim Bolourtchi (03:06):
I love that example. And first I have to
tell you little Janice andLittle Kim would have been best
friends. Little Kim was reallyrule following too. And I think,
I think a lot of us are in thatthat's how we gain love and
acceptance and and all of thethings that we're told are the
things we're supposed to want,right? Like human belonging will
(03:27):
die to belong. There's there'sevidence and studies that will
literally die to belong and andfamily loyalty is one of those
huge, huge things. So the factthat you selected that as your
example is amazing, because,like, one of the big rules is,
you know, family stuff stays inthe family. We protect our
family. We protect our familysecrets. We protect our family's
(03:48):
dirty laundry. We do not sharethat. And so I think it's
incredibly brave that you, youknow, were willing to publish a
memoir. And also that is reallyunruly, because even as you're
saying it, I was like, Oh mygosh, I'm thinking about things
in my family that you know, Iwould love to talk about, but as
(04:09):
soon as I think about it, likemy stomach hurts, right? Because
I know what that would do to thefamily dynamic. And I know there
are people listening who arethinking that same thing, like,
oh my gosh, I could not do that.
I don't have the courage. Sowhat? What gave you the courage
to break that particular rule?
Janice Burt (04:27):
I had just come to the place of I did a
hypnotherapy session, and she'sguiding me down into my safe
place, right? She's like, Okay,you're going to walk down these
stairs and you're going to openthe door and you're going to go
into your safe place. So I waslike, Okay, this sounds
(04:48):
wonderful. So I'm walking downthe stairs, you know, this is
all a mental exercise, justvisualization. And I get she's
like, Okay, now open the doorinto your safe place and. I open
the door and it's just pitchblack. It's incredibly dark.
There's nothing inviting orcalming about my safe place. And
(05:14):
that was the moment I had thisrealization, and I just felt
fear. So that was the momentwhere I was like, Oh my gosh, I
am full of fear. I don't evenhave a safe place inside of
myself to go. When I had thatrealization, I I was like, Okay,
I need to create a safe place. Ineed to create something
(05:37):
different within me. And so itbecame very much a personal
growth journey. And there wasnothing in my mind that was
worse at that point thancontinuing on this path of just
total fear and wanting to geteverybody's approval and
(06:00):
validation at the expense of whoI am as as a person and how I
really want to show up in life.
So I just made a veryintentional choice that I am
going to do things that aregoing to feel terrifying. So,
Kim Bolourtchi (06:21):
you know, the way I define rules are the
limiting beliefs that we youknow, that we have, or the
messages, the processes, thethings we get told are like,
these are the things you can dothat you can't do, that you
should do. This is the way ithas to be. What do you think
when you think back to sort ofgrowing up and what shaped you
(06:42):
the most? What do you think arethe most limiting rules that
sort of put put the inhibitorsaround you being your biggest
self?
Janice Burt (06:55):
I would say it's all about how others perceive
you like as an empath, I wouldintuitively kind of know about
people, and so it was always forme, like, how do I make that
(07:17):
person the most comfortable? Andhow do I make them like me? And
how do I make them not think I'mweird and ruly, you know, doing
things coloring outside thelines. How do I just keep the
(07:38):
peace with everybody andeverything. So for me, that's a
lot of what it was. So I was amissionary kid, and lived in
Mexico City for five years. Domy parents were doing mission
work, and so it was very muchjust about, you know, you have
(08:00):
to fit what people expect amissionary kid to be. A really
good example of this is the bodybuilding competition I did at 42
years old. I decided I'm goingto compete in a bodybuilding
competition. And coming from,you know, a very a Christian
(08:24):
upbringing where we're verymodest, and you know why you
showing off your body, and whodo you think you are, and all of
these limiting beliefs, likethese thoughts of, oh, Janice is
not a bodybuilder who's going tostand on a stage in a sequence
(08:45):
bikini. But I knew why I wasdoing it, and I knew the fear
that held me back from from evencontemplating doing that at one
point. So, so that was anexample of just, I know that
(09:06):
this is going to grow me as ahuman being, and that's all I
care about. I care about walkingthrough this fear right now, and
I'll deal with, you know,talking to my mom about it
later. And whatever, whateverpeople are gonna think of me is
just gonna have to be what itis, and I am not responsible for
(09:29):
how other people view me. I amresponsible for living my best,
most authentic, most free andpowerful and purposeful life.
Kim Bolourtchi (09:42):
Yes, I love that. And I was, I just kept
thinking of the word freedomwhile you were talking, because
there's so much freedom ingiving up the responsibility of
trying to be what other peoplewant you to be, right? And so,
so talk to us about what it islike to be. Two on the other
side of you know, this sort ofconfining identity of trying to
(10:07):
be the person that you wereexpected to be to now, walking
through a different fear everyyear and continually evolving
into your biggest self. Like,what's it like over here,
Janice Burt (10:21):
it's beautiful, it's amazing, it's it's a
journey. So I don't want to makeit sound like I don't have fears
anymore, or all of a sudden. Youknow, I feel free all the time,
(10:42):
because there are those momentswhere I'll lay awake at night
like, what am I doing? What haveI gotten myself into? You know,
and the voices and theruminating. But then all of a
sudden, I go, Wait a minute.
You're ruminating. You'reattaching to fear. Again, you're
and I start to identify thepatterns, and then I'm able to
(11:07):
choose something else, anotherempowering thought. I'm able to
connect with someone like youand mutually encourage each
other to keep going. So I willsay it gets easier. And there
are moments where I feel likeI'm just floating like cloud
(11:32):
nine. It's it's this beautiful,free, peaceful place. And then
there are times where I feelmyself kind of going back into
the fear and the negativethoughts, and I have to remind
myself and go back, you know,maybe on my yoga mat, and sit in
(11:55):
stillness and take that time toreally connect to my center, to
connect to the Divine, to reallyremember, like, what this is all
about. And a lot of times, if Isee someone really struggling,
(12:21):
or I hear of a suicide orsomething like that, like those
kind of things, just pull meright back and I go, you know,
life and why we're heresometimes is so much bigger than
our day to day. Kind of, youknow what we get caught up in,
(12:44):
what people think and what it'slike when life and death are on
the line, I immediately justkind of recenter and go, Okay,
Janice, why are you here tobegin with, like, it's deeper,
it's bigger than you, and tapinto that.
Kim Bolourtchi (13:10):
Thank you. Like, I love your honesty around that
and vulnerability, because thething is, like, we're never
done, and no matter how manytimes we conquer our fear or we
break the rules, like it'salways a work in progress. And I
think I'm so grateful to you forfor sharing that the way that
(13:33):
you just did. It was sobeautiful and and so heartfelt,
and I feel it so much because Iknow you know, I'm, like,
innately, a shit disturber, andI'm I do really live what I
teach I do. And I have momentswhere I find myself in the cycle
of, tell me what I have to do,show me what I have to do. What
(13:54):
are the rules like? I literallywill find myself back in there
and I have to say, Hold on asecond. What are you doing,
right? And this is oldconditioning, and we need to
stop and do your own process topull yourself out of it. And I
think there are a lot of peopleout in the world, and this is
one of the things. You know,social media has good things and
bad things. One of the things Ithink people see sometimes is
only the I conquered my this,and I have achieved this, and
(14:18):
I've gotten to the top of themountain, and it's so amazing
here. And the reality is that Ithink, if we're all being
honest, the human experience isalways one in progress. And no
matter who the heck you are andhow amazing you are, and I
believe everyone is freakingamazing, because we're all
unique and we have gifts andtalents, we are always a work in
(14:39):
progress, and the things that westruggle with, we're always
going to have to come back towith humility at some point and
continue working through thosethings right, like at a higher
and higher level, if we stayCognizant to what's what's
tripping us up. But we're notdone. And so I love that you've
shared that, and I really, I'mso glad people can hear that.
(15:00):
Because I think sometimes peoplethink like, Oh, I did the thing
I'm done. And it's like, yeah,no, it takes a lot of diligence
and commitment to continue doingthe things absolutely, of all
the rules you've ever broken,what is the one that you feel
like was the flipping, you know,your middle finger at somebody
(15:21):
where you were like, Oh, I lovedbeing able to break this rule.
This was so fun for me. I don'twant to presume you do, but I'm
just curious. Do you have onewhere you were like, Oh, that
felt so good to break.
Janice Burt (15:35):
Oh, my gosh, that's funny. That's a funny question.
Well, I don't know that I everfelt like flipping the middle
finger at someone.
Kim Bolourtchi (15:48):
You're way too nice.
Janice Burt (15:52):
But, um, but I will say the there was a marathon
that I did, and then the bodybuilding, and the both of those
were physical. And I don't liketo use, like, just the physical
examples, because some of thefears I've walked through have
(16:12):
nothing to you know, it was likelearning how to meditate, which
I think is equally as, like,ginormous and important as
running a marathon, but, butthere's something about the
consistency and endurance andjust discipline and willpower,
(16:39):
and maybe It was more likeflipping the middle finger to
myself in a sense of like youcan do so much more than you
give yourself credit for andthat you think you can do. So I
would say both of those werereally, what's the word like
(17:03):
profound in the sense that onceI accomplished them, I felt so
much respect for myself, knowingthe fear and everything that was
attached to them, and thenactually walking through and
doing it with that amount offear on the other side of the
(17:24):
hardest things are, is where wejust go, oh, the light bulb goes
off, you know? And so those arethe moments that I most
appreciate, and am, like, proudof myself like that, kicked ass,
you know, because for amarathon, when you have to wake
(17:47):
up on Saturdays at six in themorning to join your training
group, to go running, and you doit week after week after week
like those are the things wherecharacter is built and where I
go. Man, I knew how much Iwanted to sleep in. I knew how
badly I didn't want to go tothat run, and I freaking did it.
(18:07):
And that just feels good.
Kim Bolourtchi (18:10):
I love that. I love that I cannot imagine
running a marathon. Kudos toyou. It sounds horrible.
Janice Burt (18:19):
Yes, there, and there were moments of it was
horrible, and that's what madeit so freaking sweet when, when
you actually accomplish it,yeah, because it was so
horrible. And there, there issomething about these feats, you
know, that that people do.
That's why the climbing of theMount Everest and the like, the
(18:41):
different things I see, why thatthat's so appealing to some
people, because the sense thatyou get on the other side is
really remarkable,
Kim Bolourtchi (18:56):
yeah, because the messages right that we we
tell ourselves, and some Peopleeven get it from their families,
is, oh, you could never do that.
That's not for you, that's forsomebody else. That's for a
supreme athlete, right? That's,that's like, that's not
something I can do. So when youactually can do it, it's
incredible.
Janice Burt (19:16):
And you know what, Kim, oh my gosh. So I'm running
the marathon, and and I think Iwas like, mile 15 or something,
and I'm just feeling all theways that you feel when you're
running. And I look over andthere is a blind man. Oh, my
God, it's still to this day.
Makes me cry because he has his,you know, his stick, and he has
(19:39):
two guides, one on each side ofhim, and he's running this
marathon. And I just rememberlooking over and going, what has
been my excuse? Like, what hasbeen my excuse, you know? And so
I'm running, I'm crying. Dying,and it was just this moment of
(20:00):
going, it's a choice. It's achoice. And if you're determined
enough, and you gather peoplearound you that are part of that
same tribe that want the samething, and you go for it
together, like it's all thethings are achievable.
Kim Bolourtchi (20:22):
I love that.
That's so inspiring, soincredible. Do you have advice
for people who are facinglimiting rules? What would you
tell them? Oh,
Janice Burt (20:37):
I would just say, I understand. I understand the
feeling of wanting to fit in atall costs. I understand, you
know, the the fear of beingrejected or being criticized
like I I understand all of that.
And I also know very much thatit is a prison that if you
(21:03):
continue in that prison, you'lllook back someday on your
deathbed and you will haveregrets, and you will have
wanted to not care so much aabout what anybody else thought
about you, and you'll you'llhave wanted to, like, grab these
(21:29):
opportunities that you were tooscared to take, and it's Just
going to be sad. And so my bestadvice is to take a moment to
really sit in stillness, toconnect to who you truly are,
(21:50):
because who you truly areunderneath the fear and the
doubts and the limiting beliefsand what other people told you
is you are just full of love,peace, compassion, purpose, and
(22:12):
so it's really Just aremembering. So I would take
some time sit in that space ofjust being able to center
yourself and and remember whoyou are, and then make decisions
(22:33):
accordingly. And they can besmall. It could be, you know, a
connection with somebody thatyou really feel like, okay, they
they get that, they see that,that part of me, it could be
reading some good books. There'stons of things on YouTube,
joining teams and groups like,we are meant to be in community.
(22:56):
We're meant for that. It's justfinding the right one that's in
alignment with all of thatbeauty that's within you, not
that's fear based, that'svictim, you know, mentality
focused, something that isempowering, that gives you your
(23:20):
power back.
Kim Bolourtchi (23:25):
I love that so many great suggestions. And what
I really, really love is thatyou know, you your encouragement
to start within. I think is, issuch an important takeaway,
because there's so many peoplewho are looking outside of
themselves, they're looking outinto the world for the answer.
Tell me how I'm going to beokay. Tell me what I have to do
(23:49):
right, to find this piece, or tofind this connection, or to find
this this way of being. And thereality is that we already know,
and it's all already within andwho you're supposed to be is
already here, like we alreadyhave the answers. It's so much
more simple than we've ever beentold. But having the courage to
(24:10):
pay attention to what that is,who that is, if it's different
than what has been expected, isthe real challenge. But your
journey is is such livingevidence that it's so worth it,
and I so appreciate you sharingit with me and my listeners and
then also on your podcast. Youknow, sharing it with more of
(24:34):
the world, because I thinkyou're right. You know, when
we're really honest and we tellthe truth about our struggles
and what we're challenged by,people realize they're not
alone. And, you know, they stopfeeling like, Oh, it's just me.
They go like, Oh, actually,it's, it's a lot of us. It's
just that most people don't wantto tell the truth about it.
Janice Burt (24:53):
Yeah, it's hard to sit in pain. Yeah, you know. And
that's. Yes, that's what Iavoided for many, many years,
like I felt like I would drownin it. And it's so
counterintuitive, but the morewe are able to look at our pain,
(25:18):
to sit with our pain, to give ita name, to really just notice
and be present with it, we canstart to heal those parts within
us that are wounded, and most ofus have a wounded inner child
within us, something thathappened when we were kids, when
(25:40):
we were a teenager, and we sweptit under the carpet, and we
just, you know, didn't want todeal because it was so traumatic
or so painful. But we're then asadults, still living from that
place of a wounded child. And sothe best thing I ever did was to
sit with that pain and to reallylook at that inner, Wounded
(26:03):
Little Janice and go, I loveyou. I'm not ashamed of you like
I love you. And as soon as Istarted healing that insecure,
sad little girl within me, thenthings actually started changing
as as an adult, the adultversion of me,
Kim Bolourtchi (26:24):
so powerful, so powerful
Janice Burt (26:28):
every day, a little more, a little little something,
something
Kim Bolourtchi (26:32):
exactly. Well, this has been amazing. I cannot
thank you enough for the time,and I'm so excited for everyone
to hear this conversation. Itwas wonderful. You are
wonderful. Do you want to telleveryone where they can find
your podcast? Oh,
Janice Burt (26:46):
well, you are wonderful. I've enjoyed just
these conversations with you andgetting to know you so much
more. My podcast is one fear peryear. So I have a one fear per
year.com website where you cango and you can watch the videos
or listen to it on Spotify, andyeah, I'm also at Janice
(27:09):
burt.com
Kim Bolourtchi (27:11):
amazing. I highly recommend checking it
out.
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