May 12, 2025 • 39 mins
In this raw and electrifying episode, entrepreneur Frankie Russo reveals the counterintuitive secret to success: radical generosity.
After hitting rock bottom with addiction and rebuilding his life, Frankie discovered what he calls the "limitless drug" - helping others unconditionally. Learn how embracing failure, releasing ego, and serving without expectation can transform your life, business, and purpose.
Frankie's unfiltered journey from homeless shelters to multiple successful exits will challenge everything you think you know about growth, success, and personal transformation. Prepare for an unruly conversation that will:
- Shatter your myths about success
- Reveal why failure is your greatest teacher
- Unlock the power of unconditional giving
- Understand how serving others can be your ultimate high
If you're ready to break free from traditional thinking and create real, meaningful impact, this episode is your wake-up call. Frankie's insight is legit rocket fuel!
Watch episode on Youtube
About Frankie Russo:
Frankie Russo is a visionary in authenticity, imagination and growth. An entrepreneur with a proven track record for using innovative methods to unlock rapid growth. Russo has led multiple companies to remarkable growth landing on the Inc. 500/5000 list 8 years in a row, including 60X growth in three years of his tech company 360ia, leading to an acquisition by a Fortune 500 company.
Organizations that Russo has collaborated with who have embraced his “Love Your Weird” movement were able to adapt, innovate and grow through massive uncertainty and change. In his latest work Russo shares the critical unlocks for driving unprecedented and continuous growth by leading with authenticity, imagination and generosity.
He is the author of two best-selling books and a sought-after speaker known for transforming organizational cultures and inspiring individual and corporate growth. His keynote experiences are tailored, experiential, and full of actionable insights for fostering a culture of authenticity, imagination and collaboration to unlock breakthrough results and extraordinary transformation and growth. Frankie’s highest calling is his family, and he happily lives with his wife and six children in Louisiana.
www.frankierusso.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome to get unruly. This is Kim
Bolourtchi, your host, and thisweek, Frankie Russo is my guest.
Frankie is an entrepreneur witha proven track record for using
innovative methods to unlockrapid growth and competitive
advantage. His keynotes andmaster class experiences are
full of actionable insights forfostering a culture of
(00:21):
authenticity, imagination andgenerosity to unlock
breakthrough innovation,extraordinary transformation and
to keep growth going. Plus, he'sjust an amazing human Frankie, I
am so beyond excited to have youon the podcast. When you said
yes, my entire week got better.
Thank you for being here,friend. All right. Well, that's
(00:41):
no pressure, right there. Hope Idon't let you down, but at least
you had a good week. In casethis goes sideways, yeah, it
won't go sideways. So any storyyou don't know, when I started
speaking and I went to my firstevent, I was so nervous and I
didn't know anybody, and I wasfeeling completely out of sorts,
and I said to one person, like,I don't know what the hell I'm
(01:02):
doing here, and I don't knowwhat is going on, and I don't
know who to go to for help. Andhe said, Do you see that guy
over there? And he pointed toyou, and he said, That's Frankie
Russo. You need to talk to him.
You just need to talk to him.
He's the best. He will help you.
He will tell you whatever youneed to know. Go talk to him.
(01:22):
True story. I didn't know whereyou were going with that story,
okay, yeah. And so I found youat the next break outside, and
was like, help. I need help. Andyou were so unbelievably
generous, just instantlyinterested and engaging and
generous. And you didn't know mefrom anybody. And I think there
was maybe even a line of peoplewaiting to waiting to talk to
(01:44):
you, but, but, seriously, one ofthe things I really want to talk
to you about today is thatgenerosity, because in the
speaking world, particularly,it's incredibly busy and it's
competitive, and, you know,people like to say that they're
generous and it's a community,and everybody is helpful, and I
(02:04):
think that a lot of people wouldlike to be, but you actually
are, and there's not a bone ofscarcity in your body. So, and I
find that to be really you'remaking me tear up over here.
Well, it's true, and I find thatto be really unruly, because
that's not the norm. So tell meabout where that comes from. Oh,
(02:25):
I like this topic. Okay, so itcomes from when I was five years
old, we packed up fromLouisiana, and my parents moved
us to Pittsburgh, and from thentill I was 18, we served in
homeless shelters full time.
That was what we did. So I am apurebred, I guess, missionary at
(02:49):
heart, and that's the facts. SoI have this deep need. I
don't know if it's a need, Idon't know what the fuck it is,
but it's a deep sense of like,ingrained purpose of helping
people that ask for help.
(03:10):
So I want to get this out of theway early in the conversation.
Part of the reason I can be sogenerous is because I'm I only
help people that ask.
This is a very, very, veryimportant thing that so many
people that try to helpeveryone, and they have this
amazing heart, and they burnout, and then they stop. It's
(03:32):
because if you go back and youlook at who you were helping, a
lot of times, we were doing alot of helping, and they didn't
ask. So this is especially so Iwork a lot with codependent
people. Okay, I'm a codependentmyself. Codependency is not what
most people think. You thinkit's, you know, somebody that's
in this abusive relationshipthat they can't escape and like,
(03:54):
you know, they just keep takingit. And this is abusive guy, you
know, blah, blah, blah. It's,it's way more than that. It's,
in fact, the only requirementfor membership of codependency
is the is a desire for lovingand healthy relationships. So if
someone has a heart to helpother people, and they're asking
me for help on how they can helpother people, I'm all in. I'm
(04:15):
all in because what I have foundis a couple things. So first
things, first like you asked,yeah, okay, that that, that's a
big deal.
Why do I do it? It's twofold.
Why I do it? Okay,well, it's really threefold. The
first fold is what I told you.
(04:35):
It's ingrained into mychildhood, like helping the
poor, helping people really inneed. Okay, that's number one,
so it's ingrained. So I have aspecial upbringing that most
people didn't have. Now, thatupbringing also was difficult
because we were all so poor, sowhen you help the homeless,
you're one notch above homeless.
So I ran from that for a while,and I ran into money and ran
(04:56):
into mortgages, which is you.
In the mortgages we were doingwere creating homeless people.
So that's a whole nother storywe can get into later if you
want. But in reality, that'snumber one, is that it is, it's
ingrained in a way that, likenot everybody has that
experience as a child. So that'snumber one. Number two,
I have seen thethe long game of abundance and
(05:20):
giving without expectinganything in return. I've seen
that pay out.
So in my mind, you've got topick a lane. Either lane, you
can become successful andwealthy.
(05:40):
Now, after success and wealth, Ican't make any promises, but if
you're looking for success andwealth, you have two lanes,
radical scarcity and closenessor radical openness and
generosity. Those are your twolanes if you want wealth and
success. Now, if you're lookingfor wealth, success, freedom,
(06:00):
acceptance, serenity and hopeand some other things like joy,
then you're going to have to gothe other route. You're not
going to go the scarcity routeand that route. Yeah, and so I
have played the tape out. Soabundance is a strategy.
Like, I'm not going to sugarcoatthat now, even with the first
(06:21):
two deep inside and likeingrained into my DNA, it was
still not enough. I still wasmissing some of these pieces
because there's a the real goldof generosity and abundance is
genuinely expecting nothing inreturn. That's the true gold.
(06:42):
Now that's difficult when youhave six kids and multiple
businesses, two wives and godknows what else you know, I've
got 99 problems, and it's like,what? So as an adult, I lost
this thing for a while. So whatgot me to the to the third one,
and this is the realgold I have uncovered in this
world was actually drugs andalcohol.
(07:08):
So drugs and alcohol brought meto a bottom. In fact, Saturday
in two days. This is arecording, but April 12 will
make 17 years from the moment.
I'm about to tell you about 17years, but no drugs alcohol. And
the thing about drugs andalcohol, first off, is that,
like they're fucking great,they're not a problem. Their
solution. Drugs and alcohol area solution, okay? And they're
(07:29):
great. If you do if you drink,you do drugs, all for it. I'm
here for it. Okay? Wish I could.
But at some point, if you'relike me, and you do things
radically or to extremes, youwill hit a bottom. I hit a
bottom, and I stayed at thatbottom long enough
(07:52):
for it to stick,see, I went on this journey for
10 years after getting out ofthe homeless shelter deal into
only having one objective, andthat was wealth and success and
money. That was it. And whenthat's your only objective, that
is a very, very dangerous placeto be, especially as a young
person.
And I accomplished it,and I was a shell,
(08:16):
and drugs and money had becomemy god. Had lost everything that
I had red kid. I didn't knowwhere to I was.
So that brought me to thiscrossroads. Now, what I didn't
know at the time, and a lot ofpeople don't know this, is that
getting sober and staying soberare two very, very different
things. Lot of people get sober,but it's a much lower fraction
(08:40):
of people that stay sober, andthere's only one reason that
happens. You can call it allkinds of stuff, medicine,
rehabs, different steps, blah,blah, blah, but there's one
common denominator of everysingle person that has long term
sobriety, and that is that atsome point early on in their
sobriety, they flipped frombeing the suffering drug addict
(09:03):
or alcoholic to being the personthat's helping the drug addict.
Wow, crucial for me, and it fitbecause I had been looking for a
way to not have to be full blownin Africa or full blown in a
inner city missions. But I alsowanted to, like, be in business,
(09:24):
and I wanted to make money, andI couldn't put it together. And
I finally found it. I found thisplace where I could help poor
people four or five times a weekwhile I had a career. And I
thought I found it. I freakingfound it. And to a degree, I did
now that has matured to where itis now, where like now, I've
gone even deeper into thiscalling, where I've come full
circle and found a way to liveout my mission, which is what
(09:47):
I'm doing now, without having totake donations from from donors,
which was the only way we mademoney before, and that was part
of the issue. Okay, so withoutgetting into all those details
at the end of the day.
I had finally found a way to toscratch that itch again, like I
had a purpose again, because Iwas helping other drug addicts
(10:08):
and alcoholics. Now here's thekicker. So
the thing about drugs andalcohol, if you're a drug
addict, you're an alcoholic, andsome people listening might
might be wondering if they are,or some of you might know you
are. Either way, you never stoploving drugs and alcohol for for
the main reason that you likethe effects of it. So we drink,
(10:31):
we do drugs because we like theeffects of it, okay? And that's
why I do and I will never have,never lose that want to have
something that gives me aneffect. So here's the third
piece in my journey to find theperfect drug, the perfect eye,
(10:55):
the perfect arc of likewhatever, I finally found what I
call the limitless drug.
So the third component to a lifeof abundance is the limitless
drug, and here's what it is. AndI didn't know this till after
years of doing this, so I'dalready sponsored probably 300
guys in sobriety before Ifigured out that there was
(11:18):
science behind what I wastalking about. It's an actual
science. In the 80s, theystarted studying this. It's
called the helpers. Hi, have youheard of this? I have heard of
it. Okay, so the helpers, hi,for those who don't know is that
there's a chemical that'sreleased in the brain that's the
same chemicals as drugs. I'm nota scientist or a doctor, but it
checks out, because I've testedthis shit a lot the same
(11:38):
chemicals that drugs now callcan release to the brain when
you help someoneunconditionally. Now the hard
part is that in this world,everything is so fucking
conditional, right? So you haveto be actively choosing to make
it unconditional. So thatunconditional piece is the trade
off.
(11:59):
So Kim, I've already been on thephone with three other people
this morning,thought leaders that are trying
to change the world, helpingthem change the world, and not
for anything in return. Okay,why people are like, Why are you
doing so? Like, yeah, upbringingto I have an abundance mindset,
and I'm on a quest to reformcapitalism with the new world of
(12:21):
work, but that, but don'tbullshit a bullshitter. I do it
because I want to get highstraight the up. I gotta tell
you that, like that's the key,is that I want the limitless
drug, and this is the part thathelps me, because I'm not a
saint, I'm not a saint, I'm nota priest, I'm not Mother Teresa.
(12:43):
Do I like helping people? Yeah.
Do I want people to get help?
Yes, and I want to get high. SoI'm upfront about that, and
that's why it works, because itcan take a selfish person like
meand flip that selfishness into
something useful, and that's allwe can ask for.
(13:04):
I love that. And I mean, I wouldnot characterize you as selfish
at all, and I think it's so coolthat you're so candid about what
it does for you, because I agreewith you that the
unconditionality of of being inservice is the most important,
and it's also the mostdifficult. Like I remember
(13:26):
teaching my kids, by the way,the second I get paid, it's
great because I got paid, butthat's the payment, right?
Gifts,
Kim Bolourtchi (13:34):
correct? Because it comes it becomes
transactional, yes, as opposedto unconditional. And I remember
when my kids were little,teaching them, hold the door.
You hold the door because youwant to hold the door, not
because you're expecting a thankyou, right? And you know seeing
the pissed off face when someonewould walk through and not say
thank you, and trying to teachthat lesson of you're holding it
because you want to, and if youdon't want to, then don't hold
(13:55):
the fucking door, right? Butit's that, and that's really
hard for humans, we'reconditioned, I think, to look
for some kind of trade off, evenwhen we don't want
Unknown (14:07):
to. Yeah, and you know that's really critical when
you're looking at all this, isthat you the unconditional part
is kind of hard to find. Youhave to, you have to find it.
That's why I got excited aboutlike so I got to impact 11,
which is where we met, and Ididn't know how I was going to
handle it, because I was like,how am I going to handle this?
I've already got all these spawnsees. I've got all this stuff at
(14:29):
home. I got these kids and all.
I've got so many things. Wheream I going to find space for
this? And I'm going to tell youwhat happened early. Early on, I
made a decision to treateverybody at impact 11,
anybody that asks, I decidedthat with this group, I was
going to treat them the same asI would if somebody asked me to
sponsor them or help them getsober. And
(14:51):
that was it. And that's what Idid. I brought that spirit. I
brought a spiritual program intothe rooms of impact 11, and
that's what you.
Witness. That's what you follow,that's what that's what you're
seeing. It's, it's, it's thatsimple, and it's, and it's what
I plan to do with the new worldof work, this new world of work
movement, I plan to borrow fromsome of the best things I've
(15:12):
learned from that spiritualprogram to create a movement
that's not for money, that's notorganized, that I'm not the
leader of that can truly make adifference, because you can't
kill it, because there's no LEDscreens. There's no conferences
for ourselves. If we do aconference, it's for people like
(15:32):
it's not it's the movement thatI honestly got thought I was
setting up forwhen I did some of these. And
look, it's all good. I I lovethese other things, but they're
businesses, and a business can'tfix a business. It has to be
something else.
You know, I had a moment 2020,before I sold my company. It was
(15:54):
out on the mountains. I was atthis like off the grid
experiential therapy. It'scalled on site. It's pretty
incredible. And a lot of thework I do around love your weird
and the whole unlocking thegenius inside each one of us
being that five six year old, alot of that work came from my
divorce and on site, and thedeep work that they do with
(16:15):
reconnecting with your five sixyear old self. It's where the
love your the love your weirdthing didn't come from some
think tank trying to figure outa great brand or some crap. It
came from being in deepexperiential therapy, coming off
of my divorce, realizing that Ihad lived in this weird and I
didn't, and that was years ago.
I didn't even talk about it forfive or six years, but I knew it
(16:36):
was in there, and it was sosacred. I didn't want to talk
about I didn't want to do what Inormally do in like branded or
whatever, and something happens.
It's like my third time doingthis. This is like three years
after the love, your weirdlightning and struck, and I'm
sitting on the mountain, and Ihad this vision. And the vision
was showed me thatthe universe, whatever you want
(16:59):
to call it, it created a a thingthat fit both of the needs I
had. So I had this deep need tolike, not have to be in this
financial insecurity that I feltas a child. That was the that
was the hard side of what wedid, and it was for a good
cause. But when my dad gotkicked out of his own mission by
the board because he went togovernment money when I turned
(17:19):
18, it kind of put a bullet inall that. It's why I went so
hard the other direction, yeah.
So I realized in that momentthat like, universe, God,
whatever you want to call it,had allowed for me to spend the
last two decades building atrack record
and equity in a company that Iwould sell the next year, so
(17:42):
that I could be self supporting,and I could do my work for this
impact and helping reform aspace that is the most important
space to reform in America rightnow, which is capitalism, And to
be able to do it selfsupporting. It was two pieces,
(18:03):
because selling my company thenext year allowed for me to be
self supporting, to build a thisnew movement the way it needs to
be built, and not make anyexceptions
or compromises. But then theother part was
I was allowed to do what I'vedone the last 20 years, so that
I fit the bill to be welcomedin. Yep, okay, you and I have
(18:28):
talked a lot about the conceptof the Trojan horse. Yep, at
those two decades, gave me theTrojan horse to be able to be a
person that genuinely could gointo something like the matrix
of capitalism, and with the helpof many of my friends on the
(18:49):
same mission, collectively put adent in that shift.
Kim Bolourtchi (18:56):
Absolutely so.
So I have a theory. I'm curiousto hear your thoughts about
this, listening to you talkabout how you are positioned to
do the incredible work that youdo in the world. And what I
truly believe is that when wewhen we know what we really,
really want to do, and we feelit in our bones, yeah, we are
supported by the universehowever you want to, however you
(19:20):
want to call it. It's like wesay, this is what I'm going to
do. I feel this. I feel stronglyabout this. I know this is what
I meant to do. Things line up,and we're positioned to do that
work. Yep. What do you thinkabout that?
Unknown (19:39):
I think it's true. I but I do think it starts with a
conviction.
Absolutely, it starts with aconviction, and that conviction
usually comes from a break. Somy first book was called The Art
of why, and I realized yearslater that that's bullshit.
There's no art to why it's andso I wrote a follow up book
(19:59):
called.
BREAKING why? Because, if you'refinding your purpose and you're
finding your why, it's abreaking, a rebuilding, a
hacking, a messy process,I wrote art of why before
divorce. I wrote breaking yafter divorce, if you're
wondering. But anyway, the factis, is that there has to be a
conviction. That conviction doesnot happen without pain, it does
(20:21):
not happen without failure. Itdoes not happen without a lot of
difficult, uncomfortable things.
That is the fire that forgeswhat we're talking about. But
once you find that convictionthat's unwavering and honest and
true to you, regardless ofanybody else,
(20:43):
that creates a force that is inline with truth, that is outside
of space and time,and is and and that's the thing
you're talking about. We justcan describe it a lot of
different ways, and a lot ofdifferent cultures and people
and countries in differentperspectives try to explain this
thing, this experience, thisthis truth, and everyone
(21:05):
explains it a littledifferently, but it's unified in
the sense that, like yes, itwill align if it's true.
Kim Bolourtchi (21:18):
You know, does it always it does. It always,
does it always come from, fromsome kind of pain or or adverse
experience.
Unknown (21:27):
I've thought a lot about this,
and I would love to say that itdoesn't,
but I I don't know that you canget there without some it's the
it's the hard part about thefirst part of our lives before
(21:47):
we experience it. Like, I mean,they told me, Don't write a book
till you're 40. I was 35 I said,screw that. I'm writing it. And
like, I hate the book. You knowwhat I'm saying? If it didn't
give me two bestsellers, I wouldhave scorched the earth with it,
like truth be told, like, so ifyou're if you're Googling me
now, just skip the ROI and go tobreak it away, but that's a
fact. Like, I like, I wish Icould tell you that failure and
(22:07):
pain weren't part of how youevolve,
but I it's not that's a lie.
Like, think about evolution.
Like, if you believe inevolution, I don't really care
what you believe about you. BigBang. It all happened in a
moment. Like, whatever it was,it was powerful, it was painful,
and it was transformational. AndTrent we talk about evolution
and transformation? Like, isthis fun fucking slogan for an
(22:30):
event or some shit, evolutionis, like, legs trying to pop out
of a fish. You know, 100 yearsand, like, grueling freaking
like, what do you call thatconditions? Like, careful what
you wish for. Yeah, you want tobe someone that's that is
(22:50):
transformational. You want to besomeone that does puts a dent in
the universe, whatever the heckyou think you want to do. Know
that that process is proven tobe a very, very messy, painful
process, careful what you wishfor, you know? And you know,
it's the reality. It's kind oflike when, when Neo wakes up in
(23:13):
the matrix, okay, and yourealize that the real world is
this shitty space full ofmachines and porridge. And like,
that's the real world. And like,there's this temptation to want
to go back into the matrix, butyou can't,
you can't unsee it. I talk aboutthis with people, like, the fact
is I can't unsee what I know.
Even if I wanted to, there's notenough drugs in this world that
(23:35):
could make me unsee what I know.
And I tried.
And the fact is, is that forsome reason, I'm not dead,
and here we are. So can youwithout some pain and some
failure?
I don't think so. Now, does thatmean I have to keep doing the
(23:57):
same one every time? No, and aremy bottoms as deep as they used
to be no but that's because Iwake up every day, as hard as
this is some days, and I eatchange and embrace failure for
breakfast. Okay, I've been doingthat for a long time. I'm wired
in a very weird way that allowsfor me to do that. Not
(24:20):
everybody's that comfortablewith it, but it is allowed for
me, and as a result, I'm where Iam, which is an interesting
thing, because I'm not going up,I'm not trying to go up. Okay,
honestly, I don't know where I'mgoing, but I'm going and it's
not about up, and it's not aboutdown and it's not the bottom is
(24:40):
about realizing that failure isa gift.
And because, I mean, a big partof my work now is like people
come to me because they want toknow, how did you grow a company
60x in three years, right? Howdid you become the fastest
growing companies in Americawith two different companies,
two different industries, eightyears in a row? Right? That's
why they think they're.
Calling, and they are callingfor that.
(25:02):
But the fact is, is that, youknow, most people think it's
about success, like, I don'teven talk about my accolades or
my success or my awards or myaccomplishment from the stage,
not one after they read thatintro to the stage. That's
fucking it. That's the end ofwhat you're hearing about my
fucking successes. And that'sbecause, like, success taught me
(25:23):
fucking nothing, nothing.
Everything I learned was fromfailure. People think that that
growth, continuous, limitless,growth comes from success. It
doesn't. Yeah, growth comes fromfailure.
I love I love that we're talkingabout this so much. And one of
the reasons I love it is I loveit for people who are thinking
(25:46):
about their next level andthinking that it's supposed to
be this, you know, beautifulpath of just, you know, moving
through the next thing. And it'sso much more complicated than
that, but I'm also loving itbecause I think about people who
have kids, I have kids, you havekids. And there's a tendency in
the world, really, a tendency toprotect everyone from pain and
(26:12):
to keep people from feelinganything bad, and to sugar coat
everything and to find thesilver lining. And listen, I was
the queen of silver linings fora really long time. Like I
didn't even know how to sit withsadness. I had to learn that
about a year ago, like how tosit and just be sad, like to be
an adult. And have to learn thatskill is embarrassing, but, you
know, not that easy. It's notit's it's freaking hard. But
(26:37):
when you're taught like, youalways have to find the find the
good, find the good side. It'sall okay, and it's not that bad
to be able to sit here and say,Listen, the gift is in those
hard times. The gift is when itfreaking sucks and when you
don't know if you can takeanother step, the gift is
falling on your ass and learningsomething from it, and we're
(26:58):
depriving an entire generationof the ability to do that. And I
think sometimes deprivingourselves, yes, yes, because we
want comfort and we wantpleasure. It's the it's, it's
the American way, Western way wewant pleasure. And what I have
found is that you can havepleasure, but you have to figure
(27:24):
out where you're going to get itfrom. It goes back to limitless
drug, okay, I want pleasure likethe next person, same, but I,
I was finding in the wrongplaces.
The thing is, is thatyou don't have to always go to
bottoms. If you're an adult,you're going to get one probably
every seven years. So if you'reyoung and you're listening to
(27:46):
this, just like, write that downon a calendar somewhere, it's
like, every, every seven years,roughly, you're going to get
one. And, like, start lookingfor it, you know. And like, I
had one not that long ago, whereI transitioned full time into
speaking from, like, my superKush cash cow that I sold, and
then there was some goldenhandcuffs, and then that fell
(28:06):
off last year, and a lot ofpeople just fall off, and it's
like, oh my god, what am I goingto do? And like, I'm going to
find my next gig, or blah, blah,blah. And I just fucking skipped
it. I skipped it because I Iprepared for that one. So you
get better at preparing forthese things, and then you start
to realize that, like, failureis a myth and pain is a myth
(28:35):
because it's so good on theother side of it, that, like
when pain comes, you know it'syou have to feel it. You can't
ignore it. You you embrace it.
Because if you don't like pain,the fastest way to get away out
of the pain is not to mute itokay, not to ignore it, not to
(28:55):
be in denial about it, not toact like it doesn't exist, but
to go ahead and feel it like,the faster I feel it, figure out
what was my part in all of this,and then recalibrate,
the faster I'm going to getthrough this. And I don't have
to feel the pain as long, butit's painful. Like, I had to
(29:17):
make adjustments. You know? Ihad to make changes. Like,
that's the other thing. Like,you don't just not change. If a
lot of us are holding on to thisidea, like, practically
speaking, I'm in, I'm in one ofour houses that I bought at
first with the company. It wasso cool. It's like, man, bought
a second home, and it's on alake and blah blah blah, right?
And I felt like this is a amilestone for me, right? Was
(29:38):
always poor blah blah blah. Andlike, dude, like,
we're here this week to Airbnbthe damn thing. Like, I could
easily been like, you know what?
No, I'm going to, hold on. I'mgoing to Airbnb this. What we're
Airbnb my house, blah, blah,blah. Like, that's what my ego
wants to tell me. Is that, like,No, you're Frankie Russo. You
need an Airbnb.
(30:00):
Shit you're gonna come out ofthis, like, blah, blah, blah.
You don't need to makeadjustments. Like, you always
come out on top. And that's howyou get fucked up, right there.
That's how you get fucked up. Italked to a guy yesterday. His
mind was like, Dude, I needed totalk to you so bad. Oh my god.
I've been paying so much moneythe therapist and all sort of
shit, and you just fuckingchanged it for me. And I because
he had five exits, he had fiveexits, and he just got slammed,
(30:22):
lost $6 million ironically,fighting the same company
that I sold to. So we knew thesame people, and I knew what he
was feeling, and it was fuckingdark. And I said, Brother. I
said, you want to get that sixmil back. You ain't getting it
from them. You lean into thisshit because you lost that six
(30:43):
mil because of your five exits.
Straight up, you lost that $6million because of your freaking
accolades. And I could do thesame right now. I could be like,
What?
What? Nobody tells me how tomake something fast grow. That's
how you get fucked up. It'scauses success,
(31:04):
I mean, and it's over and overagain, and so it's become my
work. And I told him yesterday,I said, Dude, this is your work,
brother. And he was just like,Oh my God, and he's gonna
fucking go out and change theworld. Because, look, he was the
first black of four differentthings he's known for. This
stuff. He's plugged in. He's gotall these actors. He's like,
he's a badass man. And I'malways saying mention that he's
black, because he was the firstof some things that which, which
(31:26):
was really great for him, andhe's got an amazing credibility.
And I'm like, you rest on thatshit. You hold on to that tight,
and you're fucked. And that'swhat happens. We hold on tight
to whatever the fucking successis. Like, no, you fucking Humble
yourself. You slaughter that.
And I don't know how toslaughter that, other than what
I told you earlier, is, if Ikeep helping people, it keeps me
(31:50):
out of well, what's in it forme? You know what I mean? And
like, Whoa, this is a no, if. IIf, because I am on a one track
one trick pony train right now,and that is, I have one
objective every morning, andthat is to be a maximum
(32:11):
usefulness to the people aroundme, and maximum usefulness to my
calling. That is it full stop.
Everything else is details. Soif that means I gotta Airbnb
this fucking thing, we're Airbnbit. If I gotta sell this thing,
we're selling it. I don't give ashit, because I'm not sitting
here trying to prove to myselfin the world that I'm the
(32:31):
fucking man. Okay? Andironically, there are a lot of
people out there that I have adeep, connection with that I'm
genuinely helping, and theyprobably do think I'm the man,
but not because I want them tothink I'm the man or I give a
shit. And that's the irony ofthis life, is that the second we
give up on all this bullshitwe're chasing, we get it. That's
(32:56):
the irony. I'm not saying yougot to live a life of poverty
either, but like the focusmatters, the objective, the
motive and the decisions we makeand why we make them, it does
matter.
Yeah, I mean,I feel like it's an interesting
thing, right? Because the lessattached you are to the outcome,
and just the more you are inthat space of generosity, what I
(33:19):
hear you saying is, the moregenerous you are, the more in
service you are, and the lessyou're attached to what's coming
to you, the more it comes toyou. And I see this over and
over. I see evidence of this allthe time. When leaders reversal,
yeah, when leaders are like, Ineed to increase the bottom line
and I want to hit the number onthe spreadsheet, and that's
their focus. It's It's sopainful, right? But when they're
(33:41):
like, I want my people to bebetter. I want them to thrive. I
want everyone to feel betterhere. How do we make that
happen? How do we get morecreativity and innovation and
just like, make life better forpeople? Guess what? You do that
you focus on making it betterfor people. And that bottom line
goes through the roof whenyou're not even watching it.
It's right. It's socounterintuitive, though. Yes,
(34:03):
you and that's the problem withbusiness is that you're chasing
these outcomes, you're chasingthese KPIs, you're chasing these
OKRs. And this is the wholethesis of the new world of work,
is like helping more of thesepeople that are in power
understand that you can haveyour outcomes, you can have your
KPIs, you can have your K yourOKRs. In fact, you can make
those sustainable if you stopleaving so many dead bodies
(34:24):
behind you, right? Like, that'sthe thesis. It's like, Dude,
we're missing it. Like, listen,it's for the whole like, love,
your weird, unruly, the genius,all the stuff we talk about that
we're on basically the samemission on is that, like, look,
we are trying to help reformsomething that's broken, because
we think that all these littletips and tricks and like
(34:46):
basically grinding and bruteforce are the solution to finish
strong on the quarter. It'slike, dude, just because it
worked before doesn't mean thatif we go harder on.
That same thing that where it'sgoing to work, like, that's not
actually what what happens.
That's the quickest way to getdisrupted. I've seen it over and
over again. I've studied thisstuff. I talk about this stuff.
(35:08):
I've been it. Yeah, my companywas demolished the day I got
sober, I walked to work afterdriving a sports car for a year.
Okay? Like, luckily for me, at27 I got to learn that instead
of 47on CNBC, okay, I got lucky that
I failed. That was what I earlyon. I got the I got the gift of
(35:30):
knowing that, like, dude,failure is the shit. That's the
shit. What I'm saying, it'slike, if you're out there you're
feeling failure, congratulatefucking relations. Yes, yes. So
if you want to give people onepiece of advice, I know it's
always it's always hard to comeup with one but one, one way
that people who are listeningcould genuinely go be in service
(35:55):
of each other today, right now,one way we could increase our
connection and do number three,unconditionally, just just
giving. I don't ever tell peopleto try to solve a problem that
they don't also have.
(36:16):
Somebody came to me after a talka couple weeks ago, and they
said, how do you help people bemore creative? And I jumped
straight to like, oh, it'scuriosity. And like, giving
yourself permission to have animagination on like, solving
that problem. And she was like,no, no,
no. How do you know whichproblem to solve? I
(36:37):
was like, oh, okay,that's different. So first of
all, a lot of people out there,this was a, this was like an
innovation summit for a Fortune200 right? And what she was
really asking was, like, whatcompany should I start, or what
industry should I go after?
Like, what tech should I build?
I was like, first of all, nevertry to solve a problem, whether
(36:58):
that's with tax service,business, whatever, or or with
your friend. Never try to solvea problem that you don't also
have.
That's the tip of the day. Don'ttry to solve a problem that you
don't have experience with, lovethat that that's it. So fine.
(37:18):
Look at your problem you'rehaving and go walk next to
somebody that has the sameproblem,
and for the only benefit toyourself
that you're going to get to be apart of the journey of figuring
this out, not alone.
That's where I would start.
I love it. Pure gold. You'resuch a gift, my friend. I love
(37:44):
it. This is so fun. This wasawesome. Thank you because I
forgot half the stuff. I sayevery time I do this, it's
absolutely recorded so you canlisten back, and we're all going
to listen back probably morethan once. Thank you for taking
the time today. Hey, is mypleasure. It's been amazing
watching you on your ownjourney, and I'm so excited to
(38:05):
continue to help anything I can,to spread the unruly movement,
because it is so fuckingimportant right now. Thank you
so good. How do people connectwith you? I'll put I'll put it
in the show notes. But if peoplewant to reach out, or they want
to connect with you. What'sgoing to connect with me? Go to
your favorite AI tool and starthaving a conversation about me.
(38:27):
All right, complexity, Chad,don't go to Google. You can go
there, but don't. I'm tellingeverybody that wants to like
Augment, so they're not leftbehind in the AI revolution,
which is a whole nother problemfor another day. If you're
worried about that you shouldbe.
So don't go to Google. ScrewGoogle. Go to your favorite
chat, perplexity, Claude. Chat,G, P, T, deep sea. Man is I
(38:50):
don't really give a shit. Andhave a conversation about me.
See what, see what they say. Seeif they like me, see if they
hate me. But that's that theyknow where to find me. We love
that. Okay. Awesome. Thanks.
Frankie,my pleasure. Thanks so much for
having me. Of course, you.
Hey everyone, welcome to get unruly. This is Kim
Bolourtchi, your host, and thisweek, Frankie Russo is my guest.
Frankie is an entrepreneur witha proven track record for using
innovative methods to unlockrapid growth and competitive
advantage. His keynotes andmaster class experiences are
full of actionable insights forfostering a culture of
(00:21):
authenticity, imagination andgenerosity to unlock
breakthrough innovation,extraordinary transformation and
to keep growth going. Plus, he'sjust an amazing human Frankie, I
am so beyond excited to have youon the podcast. When you said
yes, my entire week got better.
Thank you for being here,friend. All right. Well, that's
(00:41):
no pressure, right there. Hope Idon't let you down, but at least
you had a good week. In casethis goes sideways, yeah, it
won't go sideways. So any storyyou don't know, when I started
speaking and I went to my firstevent, I was so nervous and I
didn't know anybody, and I wasfeeling completely out of sorts,
and I said to one person, like,I don't know what the hell I'm
(01:02):
doing here, and I don't knowwhat is going on, and I don't
know who to go to for help. Andhe said, Do you see that guy
over there? And he pointed toyou, and he said, That's Frankie
Russo. You need to talk to him.
You just need to talk to him.
He's the best. He will help you.
He will tell you whatever youneed to know. Go talk to him.
(01:22):
True story. I didn't know whereyou were going with that story,
okay, yeah. And so I found youat the next break outside, and
was like, help. I need help. Andyou were so unbelievably
generous, just instantlyinterested and engaging and
generous. And you didn't know mefrom anybody. And I think there
was maybe even a line of peoplewaiting to waiting to talk to
(01:44):
you, but, but, seriously, one ofthe things I really want to talk
to you about today is thatgenerosity, because in the
speaking world, particularly,it's incredibly busy and it's
competitive, and, you know,people like to say that they're
generous and it's a community,and everybody is helpful, and I
(02:04):
think that a lot of people wouldlike to be, but you actually
are, and there's not a bone ofscarcity in your body. So, and I
find that to be really you'remaking me tear up over here.
Well, it's true, and I find thatto be really unruly, because
that's not the norm. So tell meabout where that comes from. Oh,
(02:25):
I like this topic. Okay, so itcomes from when I was five years
old, we packed up fromLouisiana, and my parents moved
us to Pittsburgh, and from thentill I was 18, we served in
homeless shelters full time.
That was what we did. So I am apurebred, I guess, missionary at
(02:49):
heart, and that's the facts. SoI have this deep need. I
don't know if it's a need, Idon't know what the fuck it is,
but it's a deep sense of like,ingrained purpose of helping
people that ask for help.
(03:10):
So I want to get this out of theway early in the conversation.
Part of the reason I can be sogenerous is because I'm I only
help people that ask.
This is a very, very, veryimportant thing that so many
people that try to helpeveryone, and they have this
amazing heart, and they burnout, and then they stop. It's
(03:32):
because if you go back and youlook at who you were helping, a
lot of times, we were doing alot of helping, and they didn't
ask. So this is especially so Iwork a lot with codependent
people. Okay, I'm a codependentmyself. Codependency is not what
most people think. You thinkit's, you know, somebody that's
in this abusive relationshipthat they can't escape and like,
(03:54):
you know, they just keep takingit. And this is abusive guy, you
know, blah, blah, blah. It's,it's way more than that. It's,
in fact, the only requirementfor membership of codependency
is the is a desire for lovingand healthy relationships. So if
someone has a heart to helpother people, and they're asking
me for help on how they can helpother people, I'm all in. I'm
(04:15):
all in because what I have foundis a couple things. So first
things, first like you asked,yeah, okay, that that, that's a
big deal.
Why do I do it? It's twofold.
Why I do it? Okay,well, it's really threefold. The
first fold is what I told you.
(04:35):
It's ingrained into mychildhood, like helping the
poor, helping people really inneed. Okay, that's number one,
so it's ingrained. So I have aspecial upbringing that most
people didn't have. Now, thatupbringing also was difficult
because we were all so poor, sowhen you help the homeless,
you're one notch above homeless.
So I ran from that for a while,and I ran into money and ran
(04:56):
into mortgages, which is you.
In the mortgages we were doingwere creating homeless people.
So that's a whole nother storywe can get into later if you
want. But in reality, that'snumber one, is that it is, it's
ingrained in a way that, likenot everybody has that
experience as a child. So that'snumber one. Number two,
I have seen thethe long game of abundance and
(05:20):
giving without expectinganything in return. I've seen
that pay out.
So in my mind, you've got topick a lane. Either lane, you
can become successful andwealthy.
(05:40):
Now, after success and wealth, Ican't make any promises, but if
you're looking for success andwealth, you have two lanes,
radical scarcity and closenessor radical openness and
generosity. Those are your twolanes if you want wealth and
success. Now, if you're lookingfor wealth, success, freedom,
(06:00):
acceptance, serenity and hopeand some other things like joy,
then you're going to have to gothe other route. You're not
going to go the scarcity routeand that route. Yeah, and so I
have played the tape out. Soabundance is a strategy.
Like, I'm not going to sugarcoatthat now, even with the first
(06:21):
two deep inside and likeingrained into my DNA, it was
still not enough. I still wasmissing some of these pieces
because there's a the real goldof generosity and abundance is
genuinely expecting nothing inreturn. That's the true gold.
(06:42):
Now that's difficult when youhave six kids and multiple
businesses, two wives and godknows what else you know, I've
got 99 problems, and it's like,what? So as an adult, I lost
this thing for a while. So whatgot me to the to the third one,
and this is the realgold I have uncovered in this
world was actually drugs andalcohol.
(07:08):
So drugs and alcohol brought meto a bottom. In fact, Saturday
in two days. This is arecording, but April 12 will
make 17 years from the moment.
I'm about to tell you about 17years, but no drugs alcohol. And
the thing about drugs andalcohol, first off, is that,
like they're fucking great,they're not a problem. Their
solution. Drugs and alcohol area solution, okay? And they're
(07:29):
great. If you do if you drink,you do drugs, all for it. I'm
here for it. Okay? Wish I could.
But at some point, if you'relike me, and you do things
radically or to extremes, youwill hit a bottom. I hit a
bottom, and I stayed at thatbottom long enough
(07:52):
for it to stick,see, I went on this journey for
10 years after getting out ofthe homeless shelter deal into
only having one objective, andthat was wealth and success and
money. That was it. And whenthat's your only objective, that
is a very, very dangerous placeto be, especially as a young
person.
And I accomplished it,and I was a shell,
(08:16):
and drugs and money had becomemy god. Had lost everything that
I had red kid. I didn't knowwhere to I was.
So that brought me to thiscrossroads. Now, what I didn't
know at the time, and a lot ofpeople don't know this, is that
getting sober and staying soberare two very, very different
things. Lot of people get sober,but it's a much lower fraction
(08:40):
of people that stay sober, andthere's only one reason that
happens. You can call it allkinds of stuff, medicine,
rehabs, different steps, blah,blah, blah, but there's one
common denominator of everysingle person that has long term
sobriety, and that is that atsome point early on in their
sobriety, they flipped frombeing the suffering drug addict
(09:03):
or alcoholic to being the personthat's helping the drug addict.
Wow, crucial for me, and it fitbecause I had been looking for a
way to not have to be full blownin Africa or full blown in a
inner city missions. But I alsowanted to, like, be in business,
(09:24):
and I wanted to make money, andI couldn't put it together. And
I finally found it. I found thisplace where I could help poor
people four or five times a weekwhile I had a career. And I
thought I found it. I freakingfound it. And to a degree, I did
now that has matured to where itis now, where like now, I've
gone even deeper into thiscalling, where I've come full
circle and found a way to liveout my mission, which is what
(09:47):
I'm doing now, without having totake donations from from donors,
which was the only way we mademoney before, and that was part
of the issue. Okay, so withoutgetting into all those details
at the end of the day.
I had finally found a way to toscratch that itch again, like I
had a purpose again, because Iwas helping other drug addicts
(10:08):
and alcoholics. Now here's thekicker. So
the thing about drugs andalcohol, if you're a drug
addict, you're an alcoholic, andsome people listening might
might be wondering if they are,or some of you might know you
are. Either way, you never stoploving drugs and alcohol for for
the main reason that you likethe effects of it. So we drink,
(10:31):
we do drugs because we like theeffects of it, okay? And that's
why I do and I will never have,never lose that want to have
something that gives me aneffect. So here's the third
piece in my journey to find theperfect drug, the perfect eye,
(10:55):
the perfect arc of likewhatever, I finally found what I
call the limitless drug.
So the third component to a lifeof abundance is the limitless
drug, and here's what it is. AndI didn't know this till after
years of doing this, so I'dalready sponsored probably 300
guys in sobriety before Ifigured out that there was
(11:18):
science behind what I wastalking about. It's an actual
science. In the 80s, theystarted studying this. It's
called the helpers. Hi, have youheard of this? I have heard of
it. Okay, so the helpers, hi,for those who don't know is that
there's a chemical that'sreleased in the brain that's the
same chemicals as drugs. I'm nota scientist or a doctor, but it
checks out, because I've testedthis shit a lot the same
(11:38):
chemicals that drugs now callcan release to the brain when
you help someoneunconditionally. Now the hard
part is that in this world,everything is so fucking
conditional, right? So you haveto be actively choosing to make
it unconditional. So thatunconditional piece is the trade
off.
(11:59):
So Kim, I've already been on thephone with three other people
this morning,thought leaders that are trying
to change the world, helpingthem change the world, and not
for anything in return. Okay,why people are like, Why are you
doing so? Like, yeah, upbringingto I have an abundance mindset,
and I'm on a quest to reformcapitalism with the new world of
(12:21):
work, but that, but don'tbullshit a bullshitter. I do it
because I want to get highstraight the up. I gotta tell
you that, like that's the key,is that I want the limitless
drug, and this is the part thathelps me, because I'm not a
saint, I'm not a saint, I'm nota priest, I'm not Mother Teresa.
(12:43):
Do I like helping people? Yeah.
Do I want people to get help?
Yes, and I want to get high. SoI'm upfront about that, and
that's why it works, because itcan take a selfish person like
meand flip that selfishness into
something useful, and that's allwe can ask for.
(13:04):
I love that. And I mean, I wouldnot characterize you as selfish
at all, and I think it's so coolthat you're so candid about what
it does for you, because I agreewith you that the
unconditionality of of being inservice is the most important,
and it's also the mostdifficult. Like I remember
(13:26):
teaching my kids, by the way,the second I get paid, it's
great because I got paid, butthat's the payment, right?
Gifts,
Kim Bolourtchi (13:34):
correct? Because it comes it becomes
transactional, yes, as opposedto unconditional. And I remember
when my kids were little,teaching them, hold the door.
You hold the door because youwant to hold the door, not
because you're expecting a thankyou, right? And you know seeing
the pissed off face when someonewould walk through and not say
thank you, and trying to teachthat lesson of you're holding it
because you want to, and if youdon't want to, then don't hold
(13:55):
the fucking door, right? Butit's that, and that's really
hard for humans, we'reconditioned, I think, to look
for some kind of trade off, evenwhen we don't want
Unknown (14:07):
to. Yeah, and you know that's really critical when
you're looking at all this, isthat you the unconditional part
is kind of hard to find. Youhave to, you have to find it.
That's why I got excited aboutlike so I got to impact 11,
which is where we met, and Ididn't know how I was going to
handle it, because I was like,how am I going to handle this?
I've already got all these spawnsees. I've got all this stuff at
(14:29):
home. I got these kids and all.
I've got so many things. Wheream I going to find space for
this? And I'm going to tell youwhat happened early. Early on, I
made a decision to treateverybody at impact 11,
anybody that asks, I decidedthat with this group, I was
going to treat them the same asI would if somebody asked me to
sponsor them or help them getsober. And
(14:51):
that was it. And that's what Idid. I brought that spirit. I
brought a spiritual program intothe rooms of impact 11, and
that's what you.
Witness. That's what you follow,that's what that's what you're
seeing. It's, it's, it's thatsimple, and it's, and it's what
I plan to do with the new worldof work, this new world of work
movement, I plan to borrow fromsome of the best things I've
(15:12):
learned from that spiritualprogram to create a movement
that's not for money, that's notorganized, that I'm not the
leader of that can truly make adifference, because you can't
kill it, because there's no LEDscreens. There's no conferences
for ourselves. If we do aconference, it's for people like
(15:32):
it's not it's the movement thatI honestly got thought I was
setting up forwhen I did some of these. And
look, it's all good. I I lovethese other things, but they're
businesses, and a business can'tfix a business. It has to be
something else.
You know, I had a moment 2020,before I sold my company. It was
(15:54):
out on the mountains. I was atthis like off the grid
experiential therapy. It'scalled on site. It's pretty
incredible. And a lot of thework I do around love your weird
and the whole unlocking thegenius inside each one of us
being that five six year old, alot of that work came from my
divorce and on site, and thedeep work that they do with
(16:15):
reconnecting with your five sixyear old self. It's where the
love your the love your weirdthing didn't come from some
think tank trying to figure outa great brand or some crap. It
came from being in deepexperiential therapy, coming off
of my divorce, realizing that Ihad lived in this weird and I
didn't, and that was years ago.
I didn't even talk about it forfive or six years, but I knew it
(16:36):
was in there, and it was sosacred. I didn't want to talk
about I didn't want to do what Inormally do in like branded or
whatever, and something happens.
It's like my third time doingthis. This is like three years
after the love, your weirdlightning and struck, and I'm
sitting on the mountain, and Ihad this vision. And the vision
was showed me thatthe universe, whatever you want
(16:59):
to call it, it created a a thingthat fit both of the needs I
had. So I had this deep need tolike, not have to be in this
financial insecurity that I feltas a child. That was the that
was the hard side of what wedid, and it was for a good
cause. But when my dad gotkicked out of his own mission by
the board because he went togovernment money when I turned
(17:19):
18, it kind of put a bullet inall that. It's why I went so
hard the other direction, yeah.
So I realized in that momentthat like, universe, God,
whatever you want to call it,had allowed for me to spend the
last two decades building atrack record
and equity in a company that Iwould sell the next year, so
(17:42):
that I could be self supporting,and I could do my work for this
impact and helping reform aspace that is the most important
space to reform in America rightnow, which is capitalism, And to
be able to do it selfsupporting. It was two pieces,
(18:03):
because selling my company thenext year allowed for me to be
self supporting, to build a thisnew movement the way it needs to
be built, and not make anyexceptions
or compromises. But then theother part was
I was allowed to do what I'vedone the last 20 years, so that
I fit the bill to be welcomedin. Yep, okay, you and I have
(18:28):
talked a lot about the conceptof the Trojan horse. Yep, at
those two decades, gave me theTrojan horse to be able to be a
person that genuinely could gointo something like the matrix
of capitalism, and with the helpof many of my friends on the
(18:49):
same mission, collectively put adent in that shift.
Kim Bolourtchi (18:56):
Absolutely so.
So I have a theory. I'm curiousto hear your thoughts about
this, listening to you talkabout how you are positioned to
do the incredible work that youdo in the world. And what I
truly believe is that when wewhen we know what we really,
really want to do, and we feelit in our bones, yeah, we are
supported by the universehowever you want to, however you
(19:20):
want to call it. It's like wesay, this is what I'm going to
do. I feel this. I feel stronglyabout this. I know this is what
I meant to do. Things line up,and we're positioned to do that
work. Yep. What do you thinkabout that?
Unknown (19:39):
I think it's true. I but I do think it starts with a
conviction.
Absolutely, it starts with aconviction, and that conviction
usually comes from a break. Somy first book was called The Art
of why, and I realized yearslater that that's bullshit.
There's no art to why it's andso I wrote a follow up book
(19:59):
called.
BREAKING why? Because, if you'refinding your purpose and you're
finding your why, it's abreaking, a rebuilding, a
hacking, a messy process,I wrote art of why before
divorce. I wrote breaking yafter divorce, if you're
wondering. But anyway, the factis, is that there has to be a
conviction. That conviction doesnot happen without pain, it does
(20:21):
not happen without failure. Itdoes not happen without a lot of
difficult, uncomfortable things.
That is the fire that forgeswhat we're talking about. But
once you find that convictionthat's unwavering and honest and
true to you, regardless ofanybody else,
(20:43):
that creates a force that is inline with truth, that is outside
of space and time,and is and and that's the thing
you're talking about. We justcan describe it a lot of
different ways, and a lot ofdifferent cultures and people
and countries in differentperspectives try to explain this
thing, this experience, thisthis truth, and everyone
(21:05):
explains it a littledifferently, but it's unified in
the sense that, like yes, itwill align if it's true.
Kim Bolourtchi (21:18):
You know, does it always it does. It always,
does it always come from, fromsome kind of pain or or adverse
experience.
Unknown (21:27):
I've thought a lot about this,
and I would love to say that itdoesn't,
but I I don't know that you canget there without some it's the
it's the hard part about thefirst part of our lives before
(21:47):
we experience it. Like, I mean,they told me, Don't write a book
till you're 40. I was 35 I said,screw that. I'm writing it. And
like, I hate the book. You knowwhat I'm saying? If it didn't
give me two bestsellers, I wouldhave scorched the earth with it,
like truth be told, like, so ifyou're if you're Googling me
now, just skip the ROI and go tobreak it away, but that's a
fact. Like, I like, I wish Icould tell you that failure and
(22:07):
pain weren't part of how youevolve,
but I it's not that's a lie.
Like, think about evolution.
Like, if you believe inevolution, I don't really care
what you believe about you. BigBang. It all happened in a
moment. Like, whatever it was,it was powerful, it was painful,
and it was transformational. AndTrent we talk about evolution
and transformation? Like, isthis fun fucking slogan for an
(22:30):
event or some shit, evolutionis, like, legs trying to pop out
of a fish. You know, 100 yearsand, like, grueling freaking
like, what do you call thatconditions? Like, careful what
you wish for. Yeah, you want tobe someone that's that is
(22:50):
transformational. You want to besomeone that does puts a dent in
the universe, whatever the heckyou think you want to do. Know
that that process is proven tobe a very, very messy, painful
process, careful what you wishfor, you know? And you know,
it's the reality. It's kind oflike when, when Neo wakes up in
(23:13):
the matrix, okay, and yourealize that the real world is
this shitty space full ofmachines and porridge. And like,
that's the real world. And like,there's this temptation to want
to go back into the matrix, butyou can't,
you can't unsee it. I talk aboutthis with people, like, the fact
is I can't unsee what I know.
Even if I wanted to, there's notenough drugs in this world that
(23:35):
could make me unsee what I know.
And I tried.
And the fact is, is that forsome reason, I'm not dead,
and here we are. So can youwithout some pain and some
failure?
I don't think so. Now, does thatmean I have to keep doing the
(23:57):
same one every time? No, and aremy bottoms as deep as they used
to be no but that's because Iwake up every day, as hard as
this is some days, and I eatchange and embrace failure for
breakfast. Okay, I've been doingthat for a long time. I'm wired
in a very weird way that allowsfor me to do that. Not
(24:20):
everybody's that comfortablewith it, but it is allowed for
me, and as a result, I'm where Iam, which is an interesting
thing, because I'm not going up,I'm not trying to go up. Okay,
honestly, I don't know where I'mgoing, but I'm going and it's
not about up, and it's not aboutdown and it's not the bottom is
(24:40):
about realizing that failure isa gift.
And because, I mean, a big partof my work now is like people
come to me because they want toknow, how did you grow a company
60x in three years, right? Howdid you become the fastest
growing companies in Americawith two different companies,
two different industries, eightyears in a row? Right? That's
why they think they're.
Calling, and they are callingfor that.
(25:02):
But the fact is, is that, youknow, most people think it's
about success, like, I don'teven talk about my accolades or
my success or my awards or myaccomplishment from the stage,
not one after they read thatintro to the stage. That's
fucking it. That's the end ofwhat you're hearing about my
fucking successes. And that'sbecause, like, success taught me
(25:23):
fucking nothing, nothing.
Everything I learned was fromfailure. People think that that
growth, continuous, limitless,growth comes from success. It
doesn't. Yeah, growth comes fromfailure.
I love I love that we're talkingabout this so much. And one of
the reasons I love it is I loveit for people who are thinking
(25:46):
about their next level andthinking that it's supposed to
be this, you know, beautifulpath of just, you know, moving
through the next thing. And it'sso much more complicated than
that, but I'm also loving itbecause I think about people who
have kids, I have kids, you havekids. And there's a tendency in
the world, really, a tendency toprotect everyone from pain and
(26:12):
to keep people from feelinganything bad, and to sugar coat
everything and to find thesilver lining. And listen, I was
the queen of silver linings fora really long time. Like I
didn't even know how to sit withsadness. I had to learn that
about a year ago, like how tosit and just be sad, like to be
an adult. And have to learn thatskill is embarrassing, but, you
know, not that easy. It's notit's it's freaking hard. But
(26:37):
when you're taught like, youalways have to find the find the
good, find the good side. It'sall okay, and it's not that bad
to be able to sit here and say,Listen, the gift is in those
hard times. The gift is when itfreaking sucks and when you
don't know if you can takeanother step, the gift is
falling on your ass and learningsomething from it, and we're
(26:58):
depriving an entire generationof the ability to do that. And I
think sometimes deprivingourselves, yes, yes, because we
want comfort and we wantpleasure. It's the it's, it's
the American way, Western way wewant pleasure. And what I have
found is that you can havepleasure, but you have to figure
(27:24):
out where you're going to get itfrom. It goes back to limitless
drug, okay, I want pleasure likethe next person, same, but I,
I was finding in the wrongplaces.
The thing is, is thatyou don't have to always go to
bottoms. If you're an adult,you're going to get one probably
every seven years. So if you'reyoung and you're listening to
(27:46):
this, just like, write that downon a calendar somewhere, it's
like, every, every seven years,roughly, you're going to get
one. And, like, start lookingfor it, you know. And like, I
had one not that long ago, whereI transitioned full time into
speaking from, like, my superKush cash cow that I sold, and
then there was some goldenhandcuffs, and then that fell
(28:06):
off last year, and a lot ofpeople just fall off, and it's
like, oh my god, what am I goingto do? And like, I'm going to
find my next gig, or blah, blah,blah. And I just fucking skipped
it. I skipped it because I Iprepared for that one. So you
get better at preparing forthese things, and then you start
to realize that, like, failureis a myth and pain is a myth
(28:35):
because it's so good on theother side of it, that, like
when pain comes, you know it'syou have to feel it. You can't
ignore it. You you embrace it.
Because if you don't like pain,the fastest way to get away out
of the pain is not to mute itokay, not to ignore it, not to
(28:55):
be in denial about it, not toact like it doesn't exist, but
to go ahead and feel it like,the faster I feel it, figure out
what was my part in all of this,and then recalibrate,
the faster I'm going to getthrough this. And I don't have
to feel the pain as long, butit's painful. Like, I had to
(29:17):
make adjustments. You know? Ihad to make changes. Like,
that's the other thing. Like,you don't just not change. If a
lot of us are holding on to thisidea, like, practically
speaking, I'm in, I'm in one ofour houses that I bought at
first with the company. It wasso cool. It's like, man, bought
a second home, and it's on alake and blah blah blah, right?
And I felt like this is a amilestone for me, right? Was
(29:38):
always poor blah blah blah. Andlike, dude, like,
we're here this week to Airbnbthe damn thing. Like, I could
easily been like, you know what?
No, I'm going to, hold on. I'mgoing to Airbnb this. What we're
Airbnb my house, blah, blah,blah. Like, that's what my ego
wants to tell me. Is that, like,No, you're Frankie Russo. You
need an Airbnb.
(30:00):
Shit you're gonna come out ofthis, like, blah, blah, blah.
You don't need to makeadjustments. Like, you always
come out on top. And that's howyou get fucked up, right there.
That's how you get fucked up. Italked to a guy yesterday. His
mind was like, Dude, I needed totalk to you so bad. Oh my god.
I've been paying so much moneythe therapist and all sort of
shit, and you just fuckingchanged it for me. And I because
he had five exits, he had fiveexits, and he just got slammed,
(30:22):
lost $6 million ironically,fighting the same company
that I sold to. So we knew thesame people, and I knew what he
was feeling, and it was fuckingdark. And I said, Brother. I
said, you want to get that sixmil back. You ain't getting it
from them. You lean into thisshit because you lost that six
(30:43):
mil because of your five exits.
Straight up, you lost that $6million because of your freaking
accolades. And I could do thesame right now. I could be like,
What?
What? Nobody tells me how tomake something fast grow. That's
how you get fucked up. It'scauses success,
(31:04):
I mean, and it's over and overagain, and so it's become my
work. And I told him yesterday,I said, Dude, this is your work,
brother. And he was just like,Oh my God, and he's gonna
fucking go out and change theworld. Because, look, he was the
first black of four differentthings he's known for. This
stuff. He's plugged in. He's gotall these actors. He's like,
he's a badass man. And I'malways saying mention that he's
black, because he was the firstof some things that which, which
(31:26):
was really great for him, andhe's got an amazing credibility.
And I'm like, you rest on thatshit. You hold on to that tight,
and you're fucked. And that'swhat happens. We hold on tight
to whatever the fucking successis. Like, no, you fucking Humble
yourself. You slaughter that.
And I don't know how toslaughter that, other than what
I told you earlier, is, if Ikeep helping people, it keeps me
(31:50):
out of well, what's in it forme? You know what I mean? And
like, Whoa, this is a no, if. IIf, because I am on a one track
one trick pony train right now,and that is, I have one
objective every morning, andthat is to be a maximum
(32:11):
usefulness to the people aroundme, and maximum usefulness to my
calling. That is it full stop.
Everything else is details. Soif that means I gotta Airbnb
this fucking thing, we're Airbnbit. If I gotta sell this thing,
we're selling it. I don't give ashit, because I'm not sitting
here trying to prove to myselfin the world that I'm the
(32:31):
fucking man. Okay? Andironically, there are a lot of
people out there that I have adeep, connection with that I'm
genuinely helping, and theyprobably do think I'm the man,
but not because I want them tothink I'm the man or I give a
shit. And that's the irony ofthis life, is that the second we
give up on all this bullshitwe're chasing, we get it. That's
(32:56):
the irony. I'm not saying yougot to live a life of poverty
either, but like the focusmatters, the objective, the
motive and the decisions we makeand why we make them, it does
matter.
Yeah, I mean,I feel like it's an interesting
thing, right? Because the lessattached you are to the outcome,
and just the more you are inthat space of generosity, what I
(33:19):
hear you saying is, the moregenerous you are, the more in
service you are, and the lessyou're attached to what's coming
to you, the more it comes toyou. And I see this over and
over. I see evidence of this allthe time. When leaders reversal,
yeah, when leaders are like, Ineed to increase the bottom line
and I want to hit the number onthe spreadsheet, and that's
their focus. It's It's sopainful, right? But when they're
(33:41):
like, I want my people to bebetter. I want them to thrive. I
want everyone to feel betterhere. How do we make that
happen? How do we get morecreativity and innovation and
just like, make life better forpeople? Guess what? You do that
you focus on making it betterfor people. And that bottom line
goes through the roof whenyou're not even watching it.
It's right. It's socounterintuitive, though. Yes,
(34:03):
you and that's the problem withbusiness is that you're chasing
these outcomes, you're chasingthese KPIs, you're chasing these
OKRs. And this is the wholethesis of the new world of work,
is like helping more of thesepeople that are in power
understand that you can haveyour outcomes, you can have your
KPIs, you can have your K yourOKRs. In fact, you can make
those sustainable if you stopleaving so many dead bodies
(34:24):
behind you, right? Like, that'sthe thesis. It's like, Dude,
we're missing it. Like, listen,it's for the whole like, love,
your weird, unruly, the genius,all the stuff we talk about that
we're on basically the samemission on is that, like, look,
we are trying to help reformsomething that's broken, because
we think that all these littletips and tricks and like
(34:46):
basically grinding and bruteforce are the solution to finish
strong on the quarter. It'slike, dude, just because it
worked before doesn't mean thatif we go harder on.
That same thing that where it'sgoing to work, like, that's not
actually what what happens.
That's the quickest way to getdisrupted. I've seen it over and
over again. I've studied thisstuff. I talk about this stuff.
(35:08):
I've been it. Yeah, my companywas demolished the day I got
sober, I walked to work afterdriving a sports car for a year.
Okay? Like, luckily for me, at27 I got to learn that instead
of 47on CNBC, okay, I got lucky that
I failed. That was what I earlyon. I got the I got the gift of
(35:30):
knowing that, like, dude,failure is the shit. That's the
shit. What I'm saying, it'slike, if you're out there you're
feeling failure, congratulatefucking relations. Yes, yes. So
if you want to give people onepiece of advice, I know it's
always it's always hard to comeup with one but one, one way
that people who are listeningcould genuinely go be in service
(35:55):
of each other today, right now,one way we could increase our
connection and do number three,unconditionally, just just
giving. I don't ever tell peopleto try to solve a problem that
they don't also have.
(36:16):
Somebody came to me after a talka couple weeks ago, and they
said, how do you help people bemore creative? And I jumped
straight to like, oh, it'scuriosity. And like, giving
yourself permission to have animagination on like, solving
that problem. And she was like,no, no,
no. How do you know whichproblem to solve? I
(36:37):
was like, oh, okay,that's different. So first of
all, a lot of people out there,this was a, this was like an
innovation summit for a Fortune200 right? And what she was
really asking was, like, whatcompany should I start, or what
industry should I go after?
Like, what tech should I build?
I was like, first of all, nevertry to solve a problem, whether
(36:58):
that's with tax service,business, whatever, or or with
your friend. Never try to solvea problem that you don't also
have.
That's the tip of the day. Don'ttry to solve a problem that you
don't have experience with, lovethat that that's it. So fine.
(37:18):
Look at your problem you'rehaving and go walk next to
somebody that has the sameproblem,
and for the only benefit toyourself
that you're going to get to be apart of the journey of figuring
this out, not alone.
That's where I would start.
I love it. Pure gold. You'resuch a gift, my friend. I love
(37:44):
it. This is so fun. This wasawesome. Thank you because I
forgot half the stuff. I sayevery time I do this, it's
absolutely recorded so you canlisten back, and we're all going
to listen back probably morethan once. Thank you for taking
the time today. Hey, is mypleasure. It's been amazing
watching you on your ownjourney, and I'm so excited to
(38:05):
continue to help anything I can,to spread the unruly movement,
because it is so fuckingimportant right now. Thank you
so good. How do people connectwith you? I'll put I'll put it
in the show notes. But if peoplewant to reach out, or they want
to connect with you. What'sgoing to connect with me? Go to
your favorite AI tool and starthaving a conversation about me.
(38:27):
All right, complexity, Chad,don't go to Google. You can go
there, but don't. I'm tellingeverybody that wants to like
Augment, so they're not leftbehind in the AI revolution,
which is a whole nother problemfor another day. If you're
worried about that you shouldbe.
So don't go to Google. ScrewGoogle. Go to your favorite
chat, perplexity, Claude. Chat,G, P, T, deep sea. Man is I
(38:50):
don't really give a shit. Andhave a conversation about me.
See what, see what they say. Seeif they like me, see if they
hate me. But that's that theyknow where to find me. We love
that. Okay. Awesome. Thanks.
Frankie,my pleasure. Thanks so much for
having me. Of course, you.
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